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This is giga-brain tier poo poo right here. 
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Apr 10, 2021 00:16
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this is brilliant
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Apr 10, 2021 00:27
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Zarin posted:Holy poo poo is this a real quote from someone? Don't go down this rabbit hole man. It is very real. You don't want to know how real it gets.
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Apr 10, 2021 01:12
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Nobel Prize committee? I think I've got that new sound you've been looking for.
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Apr 10, 2021 01:16
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The Butcher posted:Don't go down this rabbit hole man. It is very real. You don't want to know how real it gets. I hope everyone knows about that level of micro I just started at a new company a month ago, but I'm not paranoid, nope, not me! *tugs collar* Zarin fucked around with this message at 04:29 on Apr 10, 2021 |
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Apr 10, 2021 02:11
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magnificent
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Apr 10, 2021 02:27
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The Butcher posted:"Hi, just noticed you've been on idle for 20 minutes." 'if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean', translated to the digital
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Apr 10, 2021 17:08
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If anyone said that to me about idle time my automatic response would be that i was taking a huge poo poo
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Apr 10, 2021 18:01
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The Butcher posted:"Hi, just noticed you've been on idle for 20 minutes." Instead of installing a mouse jiggler, get a small desk fan and place your mouse on it Edit: or do the watch thing. In my experience, my mouse isn't sensitive enough. My buddy also taped a loose case fan to his mouse and turned it on so it shook around. I think he put a little tape on one of the blades so it'd be unbalanced and shake.
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Apr 10, 2021 20:51
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There's a little program called caffeine which emulates mouse clicks to keep it active. If your job has a lax it privilege setting on your work pc you can also just install that
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Apr 10, 2021 22:12
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Bear in mind that for remote desktop sessions, an software mouse jiggler tool may not be sufficient for keeping the session awake. I ended up buying someone a physical mouse jiggler that you could place your mouse onto and periodically rotated to perform movement.
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Apr 10, 2021 22:44
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You can also just put a video like this on your phone or iPad with it plugged in and then set the mouse on top of it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHizSdXO7lQ
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Apr 10, 2021 23:05
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Apr 11, 2021 02:04
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OMG if I had a job and it did any of this poo poo I'd fuckin' riot.
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Apr 11, 2021 03:23
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I will die in a ditch before I submit to that poo poo.
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Apr 11, 2021 03:23
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i would simply not work there
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Apr 11, 2021 03:37
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Applewhite posted:I will die in a ditch before I submit to that poo poo. wow we are all very impressed with your fortitude and dignity, so inspiring
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Apr 11, 2021 04:22
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ben shapino posted:wow we are all very impressed with your fortitude and dignity, so inspiring I’m not trying to impress anyone. Just saying.
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Apr 11, 2021 13:44
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My boss basically said he'd be disappointed if I didn't take several afternoons off to go skiing before the hill closed. Never mind how over worked and stressed out I am. He knows how priorities work.
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Apr 11, 2021 15:49
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Inzombiac posted:My boss on Monday: Hey, get this in by the end of Friday. I won't have time to review it until next week. I hate this stuff. Procedurally we have corrective action program due dates that differ depending on significance. But then we get hounded constantly to be completed on dates much earlier than what is in our procedures due to "metrics." Each group wants to look better than the others on the metrics charts during the management meetings. I have had the argument more than once that if they want those dates then put them in the procedure. It's the Office Space pieces of flare argument in real life.
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Apr 11, 2021 17:37
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My boss went to Hawaii for the next week and a half so that means the next two Monday morning conference calls are cancelled, which means I'm basically off work for the next two weeks because those are by far the most important thing we do and thing that I have to worry about every week
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Apr 11, 2021 17:55
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AHH F/UGH posted:My boss went to Hawaii for the next week and a half so that means the next two Monday morning conference calls are cancelled, which means I'm basically off work for the next two weeks because those are by far the most important thing we do and thing that I have to worry about every week Still can't figure out if this is a perfect work scenario or a monkey paw perfect work scenario.
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Apr 11, 2021 17:57
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So I’m on a 2 PIPs. 1 for productivity, because I spend the time during my calls fixing everyone else’s mistakes. I’m about to put together my HR manifesto in response to that one, because my complaints about the same things over and over again keep getting attributed to my direct sup. It is not his fault. The same poo poo has been going on since being here. I am trying to figure out if using the words “medical negligence” is the correct phrase, since I am fixing issues with requests for authorization for medical procedures and all of these gently caress ups in multiple departments, mostly due to poor training, mean providers are unable to provide medically necessary services. Is there a different legal sounding phrase I should use? Because this poo poo has got to be something we can and SHOULD be sued for and I have notified absolutely every superior that I can. It’s like freaking dear in headlights anytime I explain the logical outcome from all of this though, I swear.
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Apr 12, 2021 02:20
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Bored posted:Is there a different legal sounding phrase I should use? Because this poo poo has got to be something we can and SHOULD be sued for and I have notified absolutely every superior that I can. It’s like freaking dear in headlights anytime I explain the logical outcome from all of this though, I swear. How confident are you on finding another job? Not saying it'll work here and it could backfire spectacularly but somewhat relevant anecdote: Once upon a time we had two board members trying to pressure us into creative accounting things beyond what i felt was acceptable (coming from a consulting background I knew most of the tricks and where the line was, this was really, clearly not okay at all). We tried explaining this to them a few times and they just wouldn't let it go. Eventually I brought up the idea in a board meeting in front of everyone (without naming them) by saying something like 'One idea is to do X, Y and Z but from what I can tell it would be fraud and embezzlement and I'm not comfortable with that'. The guy who was pushing us hardest immediately went 'Woah no, we can't do that!' and nobody brought it up again. Nobody stood up and clapped like they should have either, the bastards. My point is things aren't really obvious until you point out its happening and everyone knows everyone else can see it. The trick was saying 'fraud and embezzlement' out loud in front of everyone, it made it very real. If you are going to bring this up to someone important, make sure you CC a few people who aren't in the same hierarchy and if necessary include their bosses so noone can try and shut you up and everyone knows everyone knows what's happening. On the flip side, you'll be known as the guy who said the quiet part out loud which could paint a target on your back. Or people might think you're a real straight shooter, depending on the work culture. Nark or hero or both or a chicken little, depends on the context. I'm not a law, medical, corporate or smart person so please don't take this as your sole piece of advice. I'd be interested to hear other people's opinion. Edit: Maybe also bcc the relevant watchdog/whistleblower/oversight organization and start updating your resume. Outrail fucked around with this message at 03:55 on Apr 12, 2021 |
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Apr 12, 2021 03:52
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Do you have a compliance department? the only thing I can think of is letting them know, because when I was in the hospital environment they were scared shitless of being found noncompliant, because holy $$$ Batman
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Apr 12, 2021 04:04
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What's the other PIP for though? Taking too long to poop in the office?
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Apr 12, 2021 04:08
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Posting Improvement Plan. We've all been there. Are.
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Apr 12, 2021 07:56
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Armitag3 posted:Posting Improvement Plan. We've all been there. Are. Jokes on you, my posting will never be improved
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Apr 12, 2021 08:34
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Bored posted:So I’m on a 2 PIPs. They're getting ready to fire you. Please get a new job and forget your current poo poo one.
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Apr 12, 2021 09:22
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Does opening a word document and weighing down your spacebar key not keep you off "away"?
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Apr 12, 2021 11:22
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Bored posted:So I’m on a 2 PIPs. 1 for productivity, because I spend the time during my calls fixing everyone else’s mistakes.
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Apr 12, 2021 12:17
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Mojo Jojo posted:If you're on a PIP then you need to find another job. You'll be sacked shortly. You cannot improve the company in that time period and its not in your interests A PIP is basically their way of building enough documentation to safely shitcan you without you suing. ( vyst fucked around with this message at 12:32 on Apr 12, 2021 |
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Apr 12, 2021 12:22
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vyst posted:A PIP is basically their way of building enough documentation to safely shitcan you without you suing. (Right to work states not withstanding) You’re thinking of At Will employment, not right to work. Those always get confused for some reason. Right to work is a different flavor of lovely aimed at union busting.
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Apr 12, 2021 12:26
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Ugly In The Morning posted:You’re thinking of At Will employment, not right to work. Those always get confused for some reason. Right to work is a different flavor of lovely aimed at union busting. poo poo, yeah you're right. Whoops
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Apr 12, 2021 12:31
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vyst posted:A PIP is basically their way of building enough documentation to safely shitcan you without you suing. ( Every where I have ever worked, if you get a PIP, they will fire you as soon as it is done.
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Apr 12, 2021 12:42
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Yeah, I'm on a PIP: Preparing Ito get Pfired
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Apr 12, 2021 12:50
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yeah the second you get notified youve been put on PIP or that theyre thinking of putting you on one you may as well start looking for a new job then and there
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Apr 12, 2021 13:19
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I worked for an international division of a big American company from 2016 until I was laid off last year. Its the kind of company that looks great on your CV but in reality it was a nightmare shitshow of almost unbelievable bureaucracy to get even the simplest things done. They had this "gated approval" system that was the same for little BI software system as it was for an aircraft, communication satellite, or laser-guided bomb. This process involved getting 26 signatures from various people across the entire corporation. These are people who at best don't have any idea who you are and what your project is who give you a signature with a 5 minute phone call all the way to people who want you to perform a whole readiness project that takes a couple months all on it's own just to give you a signature. It usually took somewhere in the neighborhood of 3-5 months to get all the approvals and even then towards the end you always had something missing. There was never a scenario, no matter how early you started, that you were completely ready and in the clear when the deadline came. And then the deadlines, totally artificial. You would set an optimistic date and start groveling around for these signatures and if you got too close to the date without being ready you were allowed ONE reset. This was completely arbitrary as there was no reason why you couldn't just reset it indefinitely but you would get in all kinds of poo poo for pushing it back more than once. Possibly the most horrific thing about the whole process is that it changed every time you had to go through it. I pushed a system through in mid-2018, then another through in early 2019 and another in 2020 and it was actually significantly different each time. It was so insane that I still have a hard time believing this is a company that actually works and makes money. There are people who work there who's only job is maintaining checklists for idiotic processes like this. Imagine that being your job, a corporate check-list checker. No project that I worked on in my 4.5 years there ever went to market, no one ever used anything my dev teams built. I probably spent 2-3 million dollars developing two systems there and they were never used. I was laid off in 2020 and it was terrifying to try to find a job during the pandemic but in the end I'm glad to be out from under that behemoth.
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Apr 12, 2021 14:56
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The youngest coworker in our office is on a PIP that says they are to check in twice daily with my annoying coworker and boss to inform them of the status of whatever they're working on. Ive overheard at a meeting that they've literally never done this, with my boss just sort of shrugging and saying "yeah if you don't watch them they do whatever they want". Currently training this person to replace me.
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Apr 12, 2021 15:14
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thathonkey posted:yeah the second you get notified youve been put on PIP or that theyre thinking of putting you on one you may as well start looking for a new job then and there lmao I had a boss once that offered to put me on a PIP because he thought it would help or something He was so goddamn naive, I had to give him basic management coaching all the time
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Apr 12, 2021 15:17
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