Unorthodox methods of protecting the crops

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EorayMel: WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

If you bury multiple knives in the ground, with the blades pointing AT the plants, the plants will not escape. They will be constantly intimidated and not attempt to flee.
However, if you also bury multiple knives in the ground, with the blades pointing AWAY at the plants, the plants will not be attacked. Whatever trying to ransack the plants will instead be thwarted by the sharp pieces of metal in the ground dissuading any further action, like spiders in holes but always aware and on the offensive yet not needing to actually move.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 02:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 02:59

Finger Prince

hasidic scarecrow.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 02:53

nut

give the crops the love worth staying for

# ? Apr 15, 2021 03:01

Heather Papps: hello friend

if you show corn episodes of dragon ball z it will learn to fight off the crows

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Apr 15, 2021 03:08

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Scarecrow but an actual guy

# ? Apr 15, 2021 03:22

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Finger Prince posted:

hasidic scarecrow.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 03:51

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

plant them inside

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Apr 15, 2021 04:19

google THIS

Don't just use pesticide. Also use pestiothercide, pestifront, and pestiback. Surround those pests and they won't stand a chance.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 04:23

selan dyin

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Scarecrow but an actual guy

scarecrow but an actual crow

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:14

selan dyin

a well trained flock of crows collectively wearing a pants and shirt scaring the wild crows

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:15

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

encase them in carbonite

# ? Apr 15, 2021 08:44

Escape From Noise

Pure, unabashed nude farming 24/7

# ? Apr 15, 2021 14:00

Finger Prince

Escape From Noise posted:

Pure, unabashed nude farming 24/7

My nude farm brings all the crows to the yard

# ? Apr 15, 2021 14:23

EorayMel: WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

I have found if I buried all the crops deep in the ground in a place only I know if, then nobody and nothing else can get to them. The ultimate in safety and secrecy!

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# ? Apr 15, 2021 14:32

nut

keep them in ur hands

# ? Apr 15, 2021 14:35

nut

germinating an entire bushel of corn with my palmsweat

# ? Apr 15, 2021 14:35

xcheopis

Putting up signs in multiple languages, in case the ground mammals and insects don't speak 'bird'

# ? Apr 15, 2021 14:44

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

These pigs wanna blow my house down.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 15:05

aldantefax: ALWAYS BE MECHFISHIN'

Noneuclidean tower defense system with hypercube

# ? Apr 15, 2021 15:05

Escape From Noise

Teddy Thunders posted:

These pigs wanna blow my house down.

Wow! I'm a huge fan of ur work Dr. Greenthumb

# ? Apr 15, 2021 15:32

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Escape From Noise posted:

Wow! I'm a huge fan of ur work Dr. Greenthumb

These cops wanna try and steal my cross, I will protect the crops by building a wall.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 17:04

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Finger Prince posted:

hasidic scarecrow.

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# ? Apr 15, 2021 17:57

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

might as well give it a try op, having a bearded patriarch sprinkle blessed water on them has done little wrt/t the crow situation

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# ? Apr 15, 2021 17:58

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Have mah step-grandson Jimmy Dean buried in the yard with all the plants. Don't worry, e got is shotgun with im, gonna holler and shoot if e see any varmint or that basterd Dale tryna root the crops. Been out there buried in the yard for bout a week now. No hollerin bout food, no need for anythin. Proud of that boy.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 18:11

Ventral EggSac

Birth and clothe some gremlins. Bathe them gently once a week, let them suckle at my teat so they aren't tempted by the veggies.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 20:04

frump truck: hello... again!

to protect the crops, you first must destroy the crops. it's the only way.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 23:13

snergle: A kind little mouse!

i made a deal with god to protect my crops although i guess thats pretty orthodox but what makes it unorthodox is i also made a deal with satan to protect my crops. to make it easier i just pray to them both at the same time.

dear god and satan please protect my crops and do not forgive people who trespass on my crops turn them to pillars of salt then blow the wind so the salt salts the earth of my enemies. also you know satan do what ever it is you do to protect my crops.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 23:20

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Justice League: Crop Patrol

# ? Apr 15, 2021 23:27

google THIS

EorayMel posted:

I have found if I buried all the crops deep in the ground in a place only I know if, then nobody and nothing else can get to them. The ultimate in safety and secrecy!

I try this at the beginning of the season but they end up sticking up out of the ground anyway

# ? Apr 15, 2021 23:27

FutonForensic

shackle chastity belts 'round mah rutabagas

# ? Apr 16, 2021 00:33

Ventral EggSac

Hug each crop tight and bite anybody that comes near

# ? Apr 16, 2021 04:31

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

frump truck posted:

to protect the crops, you first must destroy the crops. it's the only way.

that only works against the french, germans, and swedes. burning everything between warzava and moscow has still failed to stop the crow advance

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# ? Apr 17, 2021 00:30

EorayMel: WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

I have one field full of crops, and then I have a second field full of identical crops nearby. Tricking any pillagers into going after that one. Works everytime :smug:

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# ? Apr 17, 2021 00:38

frump truck: hello... again!

all crops are bastards

# ? Apr 17, 2021 00:48

frump truck: hello... again!

if you tuck in your shirt and then drop an ear of corn down the neck hole you'll have a crop top

EDIT i suppose this would also protect the corn in a way

# ? Apr 17, 2021 00:51

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

e: the crows have captured moscow. the remaining parts of the government has retreated east of the caucasus. all hope is lost, lest general winter favours us this year

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# ? Apr 17, 2021 01:36