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Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


If you're going to be sending emails that turn themselves into a link and ask people to enter a password then that needs to come with a really clear UI, and whoever onboards people who are going to receive encrypted messages needs to explain the process to their recipients.

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Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Thanks Ants posted:

If you're going to be sending emails that turn themselves into a link and ask people to enter a password then that needs to come with a really clear UI, and whoever onboards people who are going to receive encrypted messages needs to explain the process to their recipients.

The recipient gets an email as such:

quote:

CompanyName - You have received an encrypted message from bsmith@company.com. The sender intended for the message contents to be secured by using the Barracuda Email Encryption Service. You can retrieve the message from the Barracuda Networks Message Center.

To view your secure message, click here, or copy and paste the following URL into your browser:

barracuda.com/secure/203947320470329480932840932840932840932840932840983209483209423

The secure message will expire in 30 days.

When you click the link, you end up here:



If you click any of the other links, they send you back to this screen to set a password. Now, it could use a line of text that says "You must create a password to view your messages", instead of just 'new password'. But Barracuda's stuff gets worse and worse every year.

Either way, there are maybe 4-5 encrypted email systems that 95% of our industry uses, and you have to use them every time you talk to an outside organization.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy
I've encountered those more often in my personal life than professional.

I think the problem is that the general population doesn't understand encryption and why is necessary but lol good luck getting people to understand that.

Guy Axlerod
Dec 29, 2008
You have received an encrypted email:

Encrypted email posted:

Please log in to view your secure message box on our website.

Secure Message Box posted:

We are unable to assist you with this type of inquiry via email. Please call us at 1-800-555-1234

The Iron Rose
May 12, 2012

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Bob Morales posted:

The recipient gets an email as such:


When you click the link, you end up here:



If you click any of the other links, they send you back to this screen to set a password. Now, it could use a line of text that says "You must create a password to view your messages", instead of just 'new password'. But Barracuda's stuff gets worse and worse every year.

Either way, there are maybe 4-5 encrypted email systems that 95% of our industry uses, and you have to use them every time you talk to an outside organization.

my company has one vendor that sends messages like that and people think it's phishing all the time

i am a moron
Nov 12, 2020

"I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"
The real problem is that email is dogshit imo

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


i am a moron posted:

The real problem is that email is dogshit imo

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box


i am a moron posted:

The real problem is that email is dogshit imo

This 1000%

Also, with the way phishing training/PhishMe stuff goes, you absolutely must educate like crazy around systems like this.

If I got that email, I'd bin it immediately.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

AlexDeGruven posted:

This 1000%

Also, with the way phishing training/PhishMe stuff goes, you absolutely must educate like crazy around systems like this.

If I got that email, I'd bin it immediately.

Not if you worked in healthcare and half your poo poo went through those kind of things

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Most outrageous job requirements I have seen. $75k job, too.

The Senior Network Engineer position will provide the underlying network support with all network engineering and system administration efforts related to projects, tasks, and goals. This person will work closely with the rest of the IT team to help drive the strategic roadmap for all network related infrastructure. This hands-on technical position will also provide the highest level of expertise and support, as it applies to state-of-the-art network infrastructures, security, software, and services. This includes all aspects of system monitoring, system administration, system backups, fine tuning, system controls, and documentation. This position is charged with the responsibility and accountability of providing information for long-term technological solutions that will meet the company's needs, as well as maintaining the reliability and service level standards as dictated by department management

Assist with management of annual network infrastructure budget, manage purchases and maintenance renewals.
Monitor and enforce workstation and server configuration standards.
Involved with the configuration, install and testing of new PC configurations(gold-images) for new and existing employees using Windows-based desktop applications.
Responsible for protecting the network against malicious attacks, viruses and other threats through NMS and Security monitoring tools.
Conduct performance monitoring and capacity planning of the network and data center.
Oversee maintenance and improvements to the Disaster Recovery Plan.
Network Topology and Network Diagrams. Oversees annual Disaster Recovery planning and testing.
Oversee cloud environments, including O365 GCC High, Azure and D365 administration.
Manage and maintain Windows stand-alone and virtual servers (VMWare/HyperV).
Manage and maintain Active Directory.
Manages Fortinet NextGen firewall configuration and maintenance (IDS/IPS/DLP).
Manages Zscaler SDP configuration and maintenance.
Manage LAN/WAN performance and security.
Oversee administration, support and documentation of the Avaya IP Office system.
Build and maintain relationships with key vendors for development, enhancement and upgrade solutions. Manages these vendors in troubleshooting situations.
Oversees the helpdesk process and application. Day-to-day hands-on assistance in resolving helpdesk issues is required.
Manages technical and audio-visual needs.
Responsible for 24 x 7 support of data center and infrastructure.
Write and execute PowerShell scripts as needed.
Involved with network security, managed SIEM, vulnerability scanning and penetration testing.


Qualifications:

Bachelor's degree in a related field, such as computer science, or equivalent experience
Five years of Network Engineering experience
MCP, MCSA or certification in related field
Five or more years of direct experience overseeing a data center and network infrastructure
Strong technical background and engineering skills in supporting IT infrastructure related projects that involve networks, switches, routers, physical/virtual server platforms, Azure/Cloud platforms, Cloud Backup services
Experience with ethernet networks including technologies such as gigabit copper and fiber, TCP/IP, VPN, SDP and Firewalls (Fortinet, Cisco, Avaya, Zscaler)
Experienced with anti-malware and endpoint security technologies
Must have wireless networking, router, SIP, PRI and DS3 experience (Configuration and Administration)
Strong knowledge of Windows 10, Windows Server
Strong knowledge of Microsoft O365 GCC High administration, including Microsoft Exchange
Must have Domain Controller and Active Directory system administration skills
Experience with NAS, Fiber-channel, shared storage, blade chassis utilization
Experience with VMWare and HyperV product administration
Knowledge of Avaya IP Office Systems
Knowledge of Dynamics365 Finance & Operations a plus
Experience managing audio visual equipment and technologies a plus
Experiencing overseeing FreshService Service Desk a plus
Experience with mobile hardware support and MDM solutions
ITIL Foundations practices experience preferred

Sprechensiesexy
Dec 26, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Bob Morales posted:

Oversees the helpdesk process and application. Day-to-day hands-on assistance in resolving helpdesk issues is required.

There we go, this is gonna be 90% of the job. I had interviews for (Senior) Network Engineer positions and every time they tried to sneak that one in I noped out of there.

i am a moron
Nov 12, 2020

"I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

AlexDeGruven posted:

This 1000%

Also, with the way phishing training/PhishMe stuff goes, you absolutely must educate like crazy around systems like this.

If I got that email, I'd bin it immediately.

Yea and I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately for no real reason. If you really need to share stuff it seems like building it into workflow with an app using HTTPS is the way to go. I worked with a mid market insurance company for a long time and it was noticeable how janky their workflows were compared to companies I actually use - all my documents for insurance or home buying or whatever exist inside an app. The aforementioned company was constantly loving with protecting emails and it’s like y’all... there are better ways than using such an insecure protocol like SMTP. Don’t rely on it for anything important unless you’re a glutton for punishment

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box


Bob Morales posted:

Not if you worked in healthcare and half your poo poo went through those kind of things

I worked in a hospital IT department for 15 years.

Without massive education of "this is a good thing, and here is how to spot the fakes", anyone worth working in IT should be very suspicious of an email like that.

Internet Explorer
Jun 1, 2005





Yeah, emails like those are literally training users to fall for phishing attempts. I've been able to push back on implementing that sort of thing in my travels, but I also realize that it's not an easy problem to solve in some environments.

Internet Explorer
Jun 1, 2005





Kind of reminds me of our IT department telling users "don't log into sites with your company credentials! That's how passwords get stolen!" while simultaneously rolling out products that use SSO, but not seamlessly. Again, not always an easy problem to solve, but you're telling users not to do something while also expecting them to do that thing as a normal part of their work flow.

Darchangel
Feb 12, 2009

Tell him about the blower!


Bob Morales posted:

Most outrageous job requirements I have seen. $75k job, too.

The Senior Network Engineer position will provide the underlying network support with all network engineering and system administration efforts related to projects, tasks, and goals. This person will work closely with the rest of the IT team to help drive the strategic roadmap for all network related infrastructure. This hands-on technical position will also provide the highest level of expertise and support, as it applies to state-of-the-art network infrastructures, security, software, and services. This includes all aspects of system monitoring, system administration, system backups, fine tuning, system controls, and documentation. This position is charged with the responsibility and accountability of providing information for long-term technological solutions that will meet the company's needs, as well as maintaining the reliability and service level standards as dictated by department management

Assist with management of annual network infrastructure budget, manage purchases and maintenance renewals.
Monitor and enforce workstation and server configuration standards.
Involved with the configuration, install and testing of new PC configurations(gold-images) for new and existing employees using Windows-based desktop applications.
Responsible for protecting the network against malicious attacks, viruses and other threats through NMS and Security monitoring tools.
Conduct performance monitoring and capacity planning of the network and data center.
Oversee maintenance and improvements to the Disaster Recovery Plan.
Network Topology and Network Diagrams. Oversees annual Disaster Recovery planning and testing.
Oversee cloud environments, including O365 GCC High, Azure and D365 administration.
Manage and maintain Windows stand-alone and virtual servers (VMWare/HyperV).
Manage and maintain Active Directory.
Manages Fortinet NextGen firewall configuration and maintenance (IDS/IPS/DLP).
Manages Zscaler SDP configuration and maintenance.
Manage LAN/WAN performance and security.
Oversee administration, support and documentation of the Avaya IP Office system.
Build and maintain relationships with key vendors for development, enhancement and upgrade solutions. Manages these vendors in troubleshooting situations.
Oversees the helpdesk process and application. Day-to-day hands-on assistance in resolving helpdesk issues is required.
Manages technical and audio-visual needs.
Responsible for 24 x 7 support of data center and infrastructure.
Write and execute PowerShell scripts as needed.
Involved with network security, managed SIEM, vulnerability scanning and penetration testing.


Qualifications:

Bachelor's degree in a related field, such as computer science, or equivalent experience
Five years of Network Engineering experience
MCP, MCSA or certification in related field
Five or more years of direct experience overseeing a data center and network infrastructure
Strong technical background and engineering skills in supporting IT infrastructure related projects that involve networks, switches, routers, physical/virtual server platforms, Azure/Cloud platforms, Cloud Backup services
Experience with ethernet networks including technologies such as gigabit copper and fiber, TCP/IP, VPN, SDP and Firewalls (Fortinet, Cisco, Avaya, Zscaler)
Experienced with anti-malware and endpoint security technologies
Must have wireless networking, router, SIP, PRI and DS3 experience (Configuration and Administration)
Strong knowledge of Windows 10, Windows Server
Strong knowledge of Microsoft O365 GCC High administration, including Microsoft Exchange
Must have Domain Controller and Active Directory system administration skills
Experience with NAS, Fiber-channel, shared storage, blade chassis utilization
Experience with VMWare and HyperV product administration
Knowledge of Avaya IP Office Systems
Knowledge of Dynamics365 Finance & Operations a plus
Experience managing audio visual equipment and technologies a plus
Experiencing overseeing FreshService Service Desk a plus
Experience with mobile hardware support and MDM solutions
ITIL Foundations practices experience preferred


That reads more like "One person IT department" that "Network Engineer".
There's a lot of "network" stuff in there, but they also throw in the aforementioned helpdesk, PC imaging, and AV stuff.
Though reading again, it seems like the "helpdesk" stuff is managing and maintaining the actual helpdesk system (which appears to be Freshdesk,) rather than using it so much.

Still, for all that expertise, that pay rate is only 25% better than I make as a Desktop Support guy with no networking responsibilities whatsoever beyond "is it plugged into the socket?" Of course, I may be in a hotter market.

Regarding the Powershell stuff, I guess I should look into exactly what they are disabling. They may be talking about PS 1.0 or something. I don't use PowerShell much right now, but I was wanting to learn.

i am a moron
Nov 12, 2020

"I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"
There are lots of things to gently caress with regarding PowerShell like constrained language mode and WinRM hardening. Rolling it out is like twenty minutes of work though, assuming it doesn’t break the poo poo out of anything you’re already running

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box


Bob Morales posted:

$75k
...
Senior

lol, nope.

Reminds me of the senior AIX engineer spot in NYC, no remote, $88k. :fuckoff:

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



I make a hundred to do less than that, but I'm in a different pool of IT folks, since I have a clearance and agree to allow the government to shove a microscope up my rear end every five years in exchange for money.

I could give up the clearance but I'd be slashing my earnings by 50%, easily. My poo poo is basic "tier 1 support" which really means I need to know networking, powershell scripting, exchange admin poo poo (both on prem and o365), active directory, literally every loving application a user could be authorized to use on the network and how to fix all of their various failure modes, as well as doing statistics bullshit and trend analysis and reporting daily to higher ups.

Also maintaining like 16 admin accounts for various networks and systems all with varying password complexity requirements and expirations, poo poo that one's a job in and of itself.

I could probably make the case for maybe 70k in my market in the uncleared sector, if I really hustled, but it's not worth the pay cut at this point in time.

orange juche fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Apr 20, 2021

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

orange juche posted:

I make a hundo to do less than that, but I'm in a different pool of IT folks, since I have a clearance and agree to allow the government to shove a microscope up my rear end every five years in exchange for money.

I could give up the clearance but I'd be slashing my earnings by 50%, easily.

gently caress. I do like 10% of what that job entails and am making 50k, and thats after a pay cut because job hunting in the pandemic sucked. You may want to check what you would make private sector again

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



Quote isn't edit

The Fool
Oct 16, 2003


I make six figures fully remote and have less responsibility and fewer qualifications than that job listing “requires”

The Iron Rose
May 12, 2012

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
get some cloud on your resumes friends. you won't find much better jobs in any industry for the high level of pay and (relatively) low level of work.

The Fool posted:

I make six figures fully remote and have less responsibility and fewer qualifications than in that job listing “requires”

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



Yeah I'm just aggressively saving every penny I can and investing it because at some point I'm going to get real loving tired of it and take a job for significantly less money in a cheaper part of the country with less responsibility. I went from $16/hr yanking cables in a data center to $30 an hour answering tier 1 phone support to $102k as a jack of all trades admin in like... 4 years, not bad but gently caress I don't like the situation it's put me in salary wise, as having 4 years of non military experience means I'm worth jack poo poo to any employer beyond as a diversity hire (look we hire veterans!) since military IT work doesn't count for poo poo, we relied on contractors.

Working on boning up on linux stuff, I use it in a home environment but don't have a whole lot of experience with it in an enterprise environment, and it interests me at least so I can probably turn that into some amount of money.

I don't have any cloud experience, I'm going to have to deal with it eventually because even the government is getting big into it amazingly enough, so that's another avenue, though government work and remote work are wholly incompatible, they've got major hard ons for asses in seats from 7am to 5pm, at least in the CIO office.

orange juche fucked around with this message at 16:40 on Apr 20, 2021

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box


I mean, I get adjusting wages for lower COL environments, but if you're recruiting people, "uproot your life and we'll offer you... the same quality of life" is a pretty hard sell.

My favorite job posting quote these days is "remote during covid-19". Which says to me "we know people can work remotely and do well, we just don't want to let them"

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



AlexDeGruven posted:

I mean, I get adjusting wages for lower COL environments, but if you're recruiting people, "uproot your life and we'll offer you... the same quality of life" is a pretty hard sell.

My favorite job posting quote these days is "remote during covid-19". Which says to me "we know people can work remotely and do well, we just don't want to let them"

Hiring folks love to try to sell that though, poo poo I got offered $25 an hour as a systems administrator (2 years ago) in the DC area, while I was driving to work. I laughed so hard I almost drove off the road because $25 an hour means you're commuting 2 hours from the middle of west virginia or PA, since the cost of living anywhere closer than that is unworkable at that pay level.

I guess if you took a second part time job you could be ok, but it would be a very crap experience.

orange juche fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Apr 20, 2021

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box


orange juche posted:

Hiring folks love to try to sell that though, poo poo I got offered $25 an hour as a systems administrator (2 years ago) in the DC area, while I was driving to work. I laughed so hard I almost drove off the road because $25 an hour means you're commuting 2 hours from the middle of west virginia or PA, since the cost of living anywhere closer than that is unworkable at that pay level.

I'd be hard pressed to work fast food in that area for $25/hr.

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



AlexDeGruven posted:

I'd be hard pressed to work fast food in that area for $25/hr.

Oh I agree, it's why I laughed loudly. Maybe not the best move if I ever run into that guy again but it was one of those guys who trolls linkedin looking for phone numbers to try to get hiring bonuses from companies. I think it was like 22nd century technologies or something. They still email me from time to time trying to get me to look at their stuff. Goes right in the circular file.

orange juche fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Apr 20, 2021

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



I also gotta go back through my email and find the guy who tried to offer me a red hat systems engineer job in hawaii, for like a 3 month hot fill, start date, asap, with no telework option. I asked him if he'd read my resume, and saw the words "red hat" anywhere in it, or if he was aware that anyone with a red hat cert willing to geobachelor to Hawaii on short notice for 3 months from the continental US was going to demand a quarter of a million dollars, just for the immense pain in the rear end of uprooting their life like that.

i am a moron
Nov 12, 2020

"I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

The Iron Rose posted:

get some cloud on your resumes friends. you won't find much better jobs in any industry for the high level of pay and (relatively) low level of work.

+1 Ieft a position with lots of management responsibilities where I billed my rear end off and now I’m paid more, lazy af, and basically babysit engineers and bullshit with clients. My manager is happy and my Stardew Valley farm keeps getting better

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

orange juche posted:

I also gotta go back through my email and find the guy who tried to offer me a red hat systems engineer job in hawaii, for like a 3 month hot fill, start date, asap, with no telework option. I asked him if he'd read my resume, and saw the words "red hat" anywhere in it, or if he was aware that anyone with a red hat cert willing to geobachelor to Hawaii on short notice for 3 months from the continental US was going to demand a quarter of a million dollars, just for the immense pain in the rear end of uprooting their life like that.

I've noticed that alot of recruiters seem to think that the wow factor of getting to living in an exotic or in demand location is going to be enough to convince you to accept less than a living wage. Like, are you aware that you are recruiting the most terminally unromantic people on earth? Computer nerds who take risks like that are bad at their jobs lol

I still get a kick out of the guy who offered me 65k for a software engineer position in Sunnyvale

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



Found it, my bad, it was 10 weeks, immediate start date, (with possibility of extension, contingent on continuation of the contract with the customer, so absolutely 0 job security), and their salary cap was $125k/year. I guess if they were paying your travel coming and going, since that job probably wasn't going to get extended, you could make it work if you had a couch to crash on in Hawaii.

Not the absolute worst gig if you somehow finagled it into a working vacation or were some sort of masochist for bad treatment but it's pretty close, I think $125k in Hawaii is like 65K in Sunnyvale.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Bob Morales posted:

Most outrageous job requirements I have seen.

Recruiter called me in like 25 minutes. It pays a little more than it said in the ad, but not much.

YOU DOUBLE DOG DARE ME?

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



take what you're making (if it's more than their offer) and counteroffer with your current salary +10%, or higher if you feel like it. Though with that kind of responsibility I can only go off of what I see in my location, and that's like... a 125-150k job (heavily leaning towards the 150 end) in DC, and if you're a hustler you could get more than that for that.

If you're already making 150k bob just tell em to eat your butt, the helpdesk line is also concerning, because even if you're not dealing with helpdesk directly it will consume all your loving time.

Worst they say is no.

orange juche fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Apr 20, 2021

mattfl
Aug 27, 2004

orange juche posted:

take what you're making (if it's more than their offer) and counteroffer with your current salary +10%, or higher if you feel like it. Though with that kind of responsibility I can only go off of what I see in my location, and that's like... a 125-150k job (heavily leaning towards the 150 end) in DC, and if you're a hustler you could get more than that for that.

If you're already making 150k bob just tell em to eat your butt, the helpdesk line is also concerning, because even if you're not dealing with helpdesk directly it will consume all your loving time.

Worst they say is no.

If Bob is already making 150k as the local IT in a hospital, I'm going to work for his hospital.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

$150k but you have to supply your own cabling and spec bucket

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari



:gonk:

nexxai
Jul 17, 2002

quack quack bjork
Fun Shoe

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

$150k but you have to supply your own cabling and spec bucket
i was having a good day until this

nexxai
Jul 17, 2002

quack quack bjork
Fun Shoe
I'm the manager of DevOps at my company so if I don't belong here anymore just show me the door, but this conversation happened today which was pretty funny.

:supaburn: DEVOPS!!! WTF WHY DOESN'T THIS AUTOMATION SQL ACCOUNT HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE DB?!?!?!?!
:allears: Ummm because a) no one that I'm aware of has asked for it, and b) if someone would have asked, we would have told that person to get hosed. Anything else I can help you with today?
:supaburn: THIS SQL AUTOMATION ACCOUNT NEEDS ACCESS TO THE DB BY WEDNESDAY OR OUR RELEASE IS GONNA FAIL!
:allears: Oh man, that's not good. Can you give me the ticket number or even the email timestamp of when you made the request for this release so I can figure out why no one gave you a heads up that what you're asking for would never happen?
:supaburn: I'm asking you right now!
:allears: So you think that you're gonna get a SQL automation account with full blown privs created, two days before a major release, with it obviously never having gone through testing or QA first?
:supaburn: YES! DO IT OR I'LL TALK TO THE CTO!!
:allears: Well I'm on a call with him right now, told him what you're asking for, and he's laughing hysterically, so you can save yourself the trouble.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



nexxai posted:

I'm the manager of DevOps at my company so if I don't belong here anymore just show me the door, but this conversation happened today which was pretty funny.

:supaburn: DEVOPS!!! WTF WHY DOESN'T THIS AUTOMATION SQL ACCOUNT HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE DB?!?!?!?!
:allears: Ummm because a) no one that I'm aware of has asked for it, and b) if someone would have asked, we would have told that person to get hosed. Anything else I can help you with today?
:supaburn: THIS SQL AUTOMATION ACCOUNT NEEDS ACCESS TO THE DB BY WEDNESDAY OR OUR RELEASE IS GONNA FAIL!
:allears: Oh man, that's not good. Can you give me the ticket number or even the email timestamp of when you made the request for this release so I can figure out why no one gave you a heads up that what you're asking for would never happen?
:supaburn: I'm asking you right now!
:allears: So you think that you're gonna get a SQL automation account with full blown privs created, two days before a major release, with it obviously never having gone through testing or QA first?
:supaburn: YES! DO IT OR I'LL TALK TO THE CTO!!
:allears: Well I'm on a call with him right now, told him what you're asking for, and he's laughing hysterically, so you can save yourself the trouble.

Nope you're fine lol

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