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I was recently approached with an offer from someone to write an article for the front page. However good this opportunity sounds, I have decided to turn them down. Something Awful has always prided itself on original content and I figure, if we want to help seniors start home-based businesses, we ought to produce that material ourselves. I figure this is a topic that our readers are clearly interested in and I need GBS to help me help them. So, how can we help seniors start home-based businesses?
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Apr 21, 2021 14:26
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All seniors should get a reverse mortgage. There are no downsides. But for real tell them you'll put up the article if they write it.
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Apr 21, 2021 14:28
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I feel like seniors are pretty cool and already have a leg up on starting home-based businesses because many of them are already 18. I'd be more inclined to help freshmen or sophomores by recommending a list of fonts appropriate for a lemonade stand. They are as follows: -Arial bold -Courier -Times New Roman -Calibri Light
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Apr 21, 2021 14:31
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Alexa, order more tapioca pudding.
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Apr 21, 2021 14:37
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As with any business, it helps to start with what you know. For many seniors, this is an exciting chance to share their decades of experience with the world and gain a competitive advantage by breaking into an otherwise open field! Some popular home-based business ideas for seniors include: 1) Selling detailed lists of which businesses used to be different business and why the old businesses were better 2) Creating a cookbook of only the smelliest and most unappealing looking food, with names like "Fisherman's Party Casserole" or "Curdled Mum's Delight" 3) AM Radio listener/transcriber. These are just 3 of the HUNDREDS of jobs that you can do from your own home! A Fancy Hat fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Apr 21, 2021 |
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Apr 21, 2021 14:44
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I think onlyfans is probably lacking in the "mature" category. We could write an article about "active adult" webcam businesses.
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Apr 21, 2021 14:49
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Hiring a group of elderly scholars to decipher what a "(free) article" is
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Apr 21, 2021 14:51
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kntfkr posted:I think onlyfans is probably lacking in the "mature" category. We could write an article about "active adult" webcam businesses. NGL there's money to be made in mima knitting and telling stories.
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Apr 21, 2021 14:51
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We could start a business for seniors where everytime a monster attacks the city they crik and crack their old bones together and make a megazord
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Apr 21, 2021 14:52
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StoryFindr, where you can scroll through old folks tales of bygone times and offer tips in the form of cash. The stories would generate metadata through deep learning and would link to similar stories automatically. Edit: the ads involve people knitting sweaters on their couches, watching the stories in a wholesome manner.
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Apr 21, 2021 14:52
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CLIPS4SALE but it's ASMR vids of grandmothers telling you that they love you and are proud of you.
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Apr 21, 2021 14:56
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Extra Friendly- a bus of stylish seniors is ready on demand to add flavour and texture to the background of your movie, television, or tiktok scene. Competitive rates.
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Apr 21, 2021 14:59
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I will demonstrate this when I make my SA Mart thread this October
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Apr 21, 2021 15:02
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Insurance Fraud - report spam call numbers to a database accessible by savvy seniors with time to spare. Our seniors will call back those numbers and fight for YOU! Calls will be recorded and automatically uploaded with AI generated video, turning the phone call into a scene from an 80s sitcom. These in turn will be ad enabled, enhancing senior income.
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Apr 21, 2021 15:07
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Teach old people how to push bread into the robot's mouth
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Apr 21, 2021 15:10
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its all nice on rice posted:NGL there's money to be made in mima knitting and telling stories.
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Apr 21, 2021 15:14
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Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.
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Apr 21, 2021 15:20
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Old People Erotica sounds like it could be a money-maker!
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Apr 21, 2021 15:22
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Martha looked back and forth at the two handsome men in front of her, a sly smile growing on her face. It had been so long since she let herself feel this kind of thrill, but it crept over her like slow honey. Gus, dressed like Ronald Reagan, in a well kept pinstriped suit and hair dyed the color of black walnuts, looked over at Caldwell, with his easy smile lines and and boyish charm, standing in front of him the spinning image of Jimmy Carter. Making a memory that would last a lifetime, Martha spoke at last. "okay, now you both kiss." And with that, her late cold war political thriller fantasy kicked off. Star wars.
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Apr 21, 2021 15:31
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in on the ground floor (because my stairlift is broken)
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Apr 21, 2021 15:58
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A yes/no click flow chart where each answer takes you to a new landing page with ads for click-thru revenue. "Do you remember what it was like earlier? y/n" -> "Did you like it then? y/n" -> "Doesn't it honk your horn about X? y/n" -> "Do you have something to say about it? y/n" -> "You'd really be better off if people listened to that wouldn't you? y/n" etc. Each page could have a bullshit poll results on it to either make them confident or angry about their choice, as well. "only 39% of people your age agree! Would you like to see why? y/n"
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Apr 21, 2021 16:09
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Seeing that the Internet and youth itself has passed them by, maybe one of them could start a vbulletin style website and charge $10 off their pension fund so they can communicate with each other about the way things used to be and the power they used to wield
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Apr 21, 2021 16:12
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I'm pleased to announce my new cryptocurrency CarmelCoin, the only cryptocurrency mined and backed by carrying Werther's in your pockets.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:12
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Gilf porn Jeffrey could we move the db maintenance to a weekday because Sundays are my only day i can rage out with poo poo-posting, the downtime is bad for my shehdule. Can we make it on a thursday or something when only the deadbeats are shitposting.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:15
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What wonders we have to show you, do You fear falling and being unable to get back up? well, fear no more! with an introductory offer like rubic's like cube! our patended "cuddly fluffy" hook and chain system will get you back on your feet in a jiffy. [image of faceapped grandad pinhead]
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Apr 21, 2021 16:16
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Bored all day at home? Miss contributing to a cause? Still have decent eyesight? Then become an Eegret Peeper ambassador! Just $14.97 gets you your own pair of Eegret Peepers, a special "smart" binocular that will help you identify Eegrets in your area! But why Eegrets you ask? Excellent question! Using the blockchain, your Eegret Peepings are the engine of modern trade and commerce! You are the added security that makes our virtual currency virtually unhackable! Each Peeped Eegret becomes a datapoint in a vast network! It's like making a pie for your neighbors, but you get paid! Void where prohibited. Eegrets only able to be peeped near bodies of water.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:31
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Listen. You're loving old, right? Well that means you know a bunch of other old geezers. Start paying people cash for their life insurance policies. Make sure you LLC the company to protect your personal assets from berieved relations.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:33
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kntfkr posted:CLIPS4SALE but it's ASMR vids of grandmothers telling you that they love you and are proud of you. ASMR of granddad catching you up on what happened in his retirement community since you last saw him, gradually veering into his political opinions and what he saw on Fox yesterday
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Apr 21, 2021 16:36
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"Grandpa's Unsolicited Opinions Inc" Local grandpas (and grandpas at heart) are mailing out hundreds of letters a day to random addresses, covering a wide variety of topics such as: Why kids are so lazy today. The internet. Taxes. Lawn clippings. Music. Words that should not be said but that "back in the day" everybody said and it didn't bother anyone! The sky truly is the limit when these grandpas get going! You never know what might be popping up in your mailbox.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:43
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Homemade, artisanal waifu figures.
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Apr 21, 2021 16:45
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A Fancy Hat posted:"Grandpa's Unsolicited Opinions Inc"
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Apr 21, 2021 16:46
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A Fancy Hat posted:"Grandpa's Unsolicited Opinions Inc" Subscribe to Premium tier to add the following subjects Obama (still a hot topic in 2021!) The Democrats The Atrocities I Committed During The War But You Pussy rear end Kids Don't Understand What It Was Like Over There Cars (includes Opinions On The Japanese) What The Nurses Are Stealing From Me Observations From A Life Spent Examining The Differences Between Ethnicities Now John Wayne, There Was A Real Man
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Apr 21, 2021 16:59
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I was recently approached with an offer from someone to write an article for the front page. Lol, we got nearly this exact same email. Except replace "seniors" with "moms" and "mobility issues" with "childcare issues." our site is about fantasy football
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Apr 21, 2021 17:00
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Senior lootbox subscription service, sending you all the best senior content every other week.
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Apr 21, 2021 17:01
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it could be a subscription service where you pay 20 bucks a month and get to call and check in on one senior per week
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Apr 21, 2021 17:10
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OlderFans
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Apr 21, 2021 17:28
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Code Jockey posted:The Atrocities I Committed During The War But You Pussy rear end Kids Don't Understand What It Was Like Over There I had a guy spiral into this topic when I was playing eve online with goons and I was real fuckin shook by his descriptions of the things he did in Vietnam and was proud of hosed up, op
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Apr 21, 2021 17:37
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Seniors have enough on their plate what with college starting in the fall. Not sure about those mobility issues, though, email back the guy and ask him how much four loko you can drink before being rendered immobile
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Apr 21, 2021 17:38
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It sounds like the most important part is that the article they would write for your site will include a link back to your site. So, here's my contribution: a link to https://forums.somethingawful.com.
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Apr 21, 2021 17:43
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Hot dog houses can be lucrative, maybe we could help get a few up and running.
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Apr 21, 2021 17:44
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