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The wizard population is so small that as a celebrity best seller he had probably only sold hundreds of books - mandating that every hogwarts student buys a full set probably made him more money in a year than he made during the rest of his life.
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Apr 29, 2021 01:08
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Zesty posted:I always see online discussions asking why Dumbledore would hire Lockhart... which is a bad topic because it's right there in the text. grift he made every single student buy his entire book collection probably figured it'd be an easy paycheck that he could use to stepping stone towards some other grift also
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Apr 29, 2021 01:09
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Mazerunner posted:grift I imagine his plan was to set up a similar system to what Slughorn is shown as having, using his position to get close to up and comers so that he can trade favors and influence with them once they've graduated. He's just much, much less adept at it than Slughorn.
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Apr 29, 2021 01:23
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Yeah IIRC he tries pretty hard to get cozy with Harry and ride a bit off their combined celebrity. Also after just one year of teaching he could have written infinity books about his experiences teaching, Hogwarts, etc. Plus getting to sell a bunch of his books to the entire wizarding student population of Britain probably wasn't a bad deal for him either. Zesty posted:I always see online discussions asking why Dumbledore would hire Lockhart... which is a bad topic because it's right there in the text. It is interesting just how many teachers Dumbledore has on staff not because they're actually good, but for other reasons that justify them staying around even though they suck: 1. Snape: sure he's a genius at potions, but he's a horrid teacher to anybody besides his own house, god loving help you if you're Gryfindor and are genuinely interested in potion making. This is a known behavior, but he gets to stick around because he's gotta keep his cover. 2. Hagrid: sucks rear end as a teacher, and there's a substitute on standby who is far more deserving of the gig. But Hagrid is Dumbledore's friend, so 3. Trelawney: Hack fraud 99% of the time and Dumbledore outright knows this, but she gets to keep her gig because Dumbledore wants to keep her safe close by just in case she has another 1/100000000 seizure prophecy. 4. Binns: Is on record to be so droll that even students interested in magical history can't stay zoned in during his lectures. Sticks around anyway because Dumbledore is too lazy to exorcise him I guess? Probably others I'm forgetting, even leaving out the rotating DAtDA door.
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Apr 29, 2021 02:43
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Sydin posted:2. Hagrid: sucks rear end as a teacher, and there's a substitute on standby who is far more deserving of the gig. But Hagrid is Dumbledore's friend, so Honestly, Hagrid isn't even bad, he's kind of the inverse of Snape; whereas Snape is such a dick that it wrecks his students' confidence, Hagrid loses confidence when people are a dick to him. He actually does have a shitload of knowledge and hands on experience with these creatures when it comes down to it, he's basically constantly proving the kids' fears wrong when they think he is going to do something stupid or dangerous (that stuff is usually relegated to extra curricular fuckery). His first lesson with Buckbeak is honestly really good, Malfoy just fucks it up. You could argue a proud Hippogriff is too dangerous to subject to a bunch of rear end in a top hat 13 year olds but the danger is about a "6" on the scale of poo poo that usually happens at Hogwarts. After that he loses confidence and the entire year is Flobberworms, tho. The fourth year starts with the cool lesson on Nifflers and then they spend a bunch of the year raising Blast Ended Screwts for the tournament, which is weird but honestly an ongoing project about actually raising a magical creature is pretty in line with the class (instead of just having a spotlight creature every week). The fifth year he has a good class on Thestrals and even after Grubby Plank does the Unicorn class which everyone loves, Hagrid one-ups her with the even cooler baby Unicorn class. I'm also pretty sure Harry who never studies gets a high O.W.L. in the subject (it's kind of a forgone conclusion that Hermione would get an 'Outstanding' by memorizing every book on magical creatures) so he's gotta be doing something right.
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Apr 29, 2021 03:31
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Who else is better at divination than Trelawney?  Also Hagrid deserves a pension and residence for the whole "framed by child hitler, sent to torture prison because of racism" thing tbh. Plus his heart was in the right place. e lmfao he is also the only professor to get a dedicated ride at Universal Studio's Wizarding World Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Apr 29, 2021 |
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Apr 29, 2021 04:00
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Guy A. Person posted:The fourth year starts with the cool lesson on Nifflers and then they spend a bunch of the year raising Blast Ended Screwts for the tournament, which is weird but honestly an ongoing project about actually raising a magical creature is pretty in line with the class (instead of just having a spotlight creature every week). the only thing sort of dodgy about the skrewts is that they're an experimental cross-breed but honestly that just makes it even cooler as a class project. they're doing original research in like 8th grade
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Apr 29, 2021 04:16
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Hagrid was a loving rad teacher because learning by doing in the field is awesome. When he sent Harry out into the spiders it was irresponsible child endangerment, but between Hagrid being able to wrestle down basically any creature and the wizard healing skills of Madame Pomfrey, they could basically handle anything. Might even do some good for kids to get knocked around a little to teach them to respect the possible dangers, that's really how a lot of other wizard classes seem to go. It was just bad luck that Hagrid's a persecuted minority and a framed ex-felon and the kid that got knocked around had a wealthy racist poppa who had serious pull with other powerful racists. Zore posted:Yeah, the only DADA professor who was actually incompetent was Lockhart. Umbridge was lovely and teaching directly from a bad book which makes her the next worse but most of Harry's issues with her were that she was a poo poo denying Voldemort's return. I think the evidence of how Umbridge is a bad teacher is that she was so bad that academically uninterested Harry was inspired to actually form an independent study group to learn what she was refusing to teach. Sydin posted:3. Trelawney: Hack fraud 99% of the time and Dumbledore outright knows this, but she gets to keep her gig because Dumbledore wants to keep her safe close by just in case she has another 1/100000000 seizure prophecy. I kinda thought the implication was that most intentional fortune telling is bunk with confidence, and even when it's not, it's often too subtle to really tell for sure. Which is also why Hermione is absolutely right to hate it. Sydin posted:4. Binns: Is on record to be so droll that even students interested in magical history can't stay zoned in during his lectures. Sticks around anyway because Dumbledore is too lazy to exorcise him I guess? Pretty standard for middle to high school level history. SlothfulCobra fucked around with this message at 04:20 on Apr 29, 2021 |
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Apr 29, 2021 04:16
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Also Hagrid deserves a pension and residence for the whole "framed by child hitler, sent to torture prison because of racism" thing tbh. Plus his heart was in the right place. I'm still mad that there's not even a single mention of Dumbledore trying to use the events of book two to try and get Hagrid his wand back. Even a throwaway line of "Yeah Dumbledore tried but Fudge is a racist piece of poo poo so it's not happening" would have gone a long way. Guy A. Person posted:Honestly, Hagrid isn't even bad, he's kind of the inverse of Snape; whereas Snape is such a dick that it wrecks his students' confidence, Hagrid loses confidence when people are a dick to him. He actually does have a shitload of knowledge and hands on experience with these creatures when it comes down to it, he's basically constantly proving the kids' fears wrong when they think he is going to do something stupid or dangerous (that stuff is usually relegated to extra curricular fuckery). He's good on the Hogwarts scale - which is to say he only gets a dozen or so kids maimed per school year - but Grubby-Plank or whatever the hell her name is - the sub - is noted in the text to do a much better job of teaching students about magical creatures without endangering their lives.
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Apr 29, 2021 04:22
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SlothfulCobra posted:I kinda thought the implication was that most intentional fortune telling is bunk with confidence, and even when it's not, it's often too subtle to really tell for sure. Yeah it's basically like, either you have "the sight" or you don't and literally anything else is bunk, there doesn't seem to be any actual way to teach it or increase your skill. It basically shouldn't exist as a subject at all, chalk it up to tradition. Sydin posted:He's good on the Hogwarts scale - which is to say he only gets a dozen or so kids maimed per school year - but Grubby-Plank or whatever the hell her name is - the sub - is noted in the text to do a much better job of teaching students about magical creatures without endangering their lives. Eh but again did anyone but Malfoy ever actually get hurt? Maybe some kids had burns and stings from the Skrewts. And like SlothfulCobra said, Madame Pomfrey could clear up anything short of a bitten off head instantly, Malfoy was just being a twerp and milked his injury. Harry alone ends up hospitalized exclusively from Quidditch games more than the total number of students who even get mild injuries across all the books from Hagrid's classes. Grubby Plank teaches really by the book classes but the one class she teaches about Unicorns that everyone is thrilled with Hagrid comes back and is like "hey here's something even cooler" and shows them baby Unicorns. Hagrid's biggest problem is the stuff he thinks is cool and worth learning about is not always what the students think is cool, but he literally gives them a bunch of hands on experience handling and caring for magical creatures (and like Jazerus said, literally working with a brand new cross breed creature is something you'd be thrilled to do in a college biology course, these ungrateful fuckers get to do it when they're 14)
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Apr 29, 2021 04:38
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Who else is better at divination than Trelawney? Firenze is meant to know his poo poo I think?
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Apr 29, 2021 04:46
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JethroMcB posted:Isn't it something very inconsequential like all the accents around the castle being changed to the winning House's colors for the next year? Or maybe that was just for the end-of-year ceremonies. The only indication we have for a 'prize', was at the end of SS where the Slytherin colors at the end-of-year feast changed to Gryffindor's red and gold. It's a poo poo system that contributed to the rift between the houses, and Dumbledore's an idiot for still keeping it in place while preaching about house unity in OotP. Guy A. Person posted:lol I love when Harry is trying to figure out the egg puzzle and he's all "I can't believe I told Cedric about the dragons and he tells me to take a bath. This gently caress. This clown" great investigative skills and ability to pick up on clues. he'd make a fine auror someday, that potter kid. Guy A. Person posted:Snape just apparently spends the entirety of their sixth year teaching non-vocal spells, which Harry does genuinely suck at since he wears his emotions on his sleeve (and is constantly irritated at Snape when he’s trying) And then non-vocal spells got completely dropped in DH for no reason. What might've been a significant handicap that Harry had to overcome (you know, other than being completely untrained to fight a wizard on Voldemort's level) didn't really matter because wand law bullshit let him win in the end.
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Apr 29, 2021 05:00
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Jazerus posted:the only thing sort of dodgy about the skrewts is that they're an experimental cross-breed but honestly that just makes it even cooler as a class project. they're doing original research in like 8th grade This post got me to thinking: it’s kind of amazing that J.K. never explored the obvious idea of a magic university at all, as far as I remember. Just spitballing here, but I could see it as something like this: -“This is where the kid gloves come off”; the university is where they’re taught about the nitty gritty of the actual mechanics of magic, and the capstone (or one of them, at least) is for students to create a brand new spell for anyone to use. -Harry goes through a whole crisis of realizing that he was largely coasting through Hogwarts, and basically has to learn how to learn all over again, struggling with most of his coursework. Also maybe some actual expounding on his relationship with Ginny? -Hermione has a bit of a freakout when she finally runs into a subject that she genuinely wants to learn, but just can’t wrap her head around some fundamental part of it; for bonus irony points, it’s one of the few that Harry’s still a natural at. -Ron... just decides “gently caress it” with any further academia, and goes off on a worldwide journey to find a place for himself, while still popping in every so often to offer up encouragement to them.
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Apr 29, 2021 05:11
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Don't need higher education to become a cop
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Apr 29, 2021 05:18
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I got the impression that a lot of higher research was folded into the ministry (probably due to the small size of the wizarding world). See: department of mysteries.
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Apr 29, 2021 05:41
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amigolupus posted:It's a poo poo system that contributed to the rift between the houses, and Dumbledore's an idiot for still keeping it in place while preaching about house unity in OotP. To be fair like 95% of all the tension is between Gryffindor and The bigger problem is having the junior wizard Nazi house exist at all
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Apr 29, 2021 06:13
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Regalingualius posted:-Harry goes through a whole crisis of realizing that he was largely coasting through Hogwarts, and basically has to learn how to learn all over again, struggling with most of his coursework. Also maybe some actual expounding on his relationship with Ginny? i literally don't think harry ever learned how to learn. do we ever even see him count beyond like, twenty in any detail??? i firmly believe that he's very nearly illiterate and innumerate because his early good grades were harshly punished. the dude is at like a third grade level in his muggle education
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Apr 29, 2021 06:47
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Every single one of Trelawney's predictions comes true And Harry is to stupid to realize it but during the exam in year three he successfully crystal gazes to see the future but he thinks he was just making it up instead of doing divination.
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Apr 29, 2021 07:42
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Doctor Spaceman posted:Firenze is meant to know his poo poo I think? The thing about divination in HP is that there are at least three different methods of it, and maybe all of them are valid? There's Trelawney's method is your stereotypical palm reading/tea leaves/crystal ball poo poo, there's Firenze's method which is astrology, and there's Arithmancy which is barely explored in the actual text but is supposedly divination via math. Trelawney is vaguely right occasionally but is only strictly right in her specific prophecies, Firenze is vaguely right about things in OotP, and Arithmancy basically doesn't exist outside of a handful of mentions in Azkaban about Hermione's electives. Which to be fair kinda fits with fortune telling in general, in that it's it's all bullshit but occasionally things lineup and it looks legit. e. As an aside I always thought it was really dumb that Hermione never busted out Arithmancy for anything. Could have been an interesting angle in the last book where Hermione knows where to pitch camp that the Death Eater's won't find them because she derives it from magical math. Would have been a cool call back to the earlier books. It's not a huge thing, but still. Sydin fucked around with this message at 07:55 on Apr 29, 2021 |
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Apr 29, 2021 07:51
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Guy A. Person posted:lol I love when Harry is trying to figure out the egg puzzle and he's all "I can't believe I told Cedric about the dragons and he tells me to take a bath. This gently caress. This clown" This does seem to be deliberate at least, Harry's attitude towards Cedric swings a lot because he knows he's stealing Cedric's well-earned spotlight and he's an alright guy, but gets mad and horny over a girl in what seems like at least an honest attempt to emulate teenage male hormones but it probably needed Harry taking a swing at him. GodFish posted:Every single one of Trelawney's predictions comes true There's a whole running gag that Trelawney's predictions keep coming true except Harry doesn't actually die from them. And iirc, Harry and Ron quickly figure out that she gives them full marks for doom and gloom predictions that end up with then dying, and it turns out most of those also keep coming true except for their survival.
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Apr 29, 2021 07:59
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Trelawney is treated as a joke, even by Rowling, but all the weird little predictions she makes come true. I'm vaguely recalling tarot or playing cards in book 5 or 6. Also, Harry does die in 7.
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Apr 29, 2021 08:08
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Ron predicts the twists to like, half the books the one I remember best is when he figured Tom Riddle got his award for school service for offing Myrtle cause she's annoying
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Apr 29, 2021 08:14
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Ron being a secret divination genius and not realizing it because he thinks the whole field is BS is actually funny as gently caress. One of the few good subtle things Jo wrote.
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Apr 29, 2021 08:20
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Zesty posted:Trelawney is treated as a joke, even by Rowling, but all the weird little predictions she makes come true. I'm vaguely recalling tarot or playing cards in book 5 or 6. Yeah, IIRC, there’s a brief mention of her trying tarot in HBP, but she keeps getting The Tower... which fits both in the literal sense (the climactic moment where Dumbledore dies) and with The Tower’s association with disaster, calamity, major upheaval, etc.
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Apr 29, 2021 08:24
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I...worked on this cursed horcrux ring for a year...and...Dumbledore just...he put it on.
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Apr 29, 2021 08:38
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Regalingualius posted:This post got me to thinking: it’s kind of amazing that J.K. never explored the obvious idea of a magic university at all, as far as I remember. Learning abroad program with Unseen University, where you learn that actually, no, magic is dangerous and stupid and 90% of problems can and should be solved with common sense and, in extreme cases, maybe a crossbow.
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Apr 29, 2021 14:03
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I think there's also a scene in three or four where she predicts Dumbledore's death right? Harry and Ron are eating with the teachers over christmas break, and leave because dining with your teachers at age 13 is cringe af. Then Trelawney goes "the first person to leave from a table of thirteen is doomed to die first!" They brush her off but ignore that before they left, Dumbledore had stood to give a toast  Severus Snape would be a much better educator if he was at the uni level. He'd still hate undergrads but dude would have some hand-picked faves doing grad work with him and he would love it. Ghost Leviathan posted:This does seem to be deliberate at least, Harry's attitude towards Cedric swings a lot because he knows he's stealing Cedric's well-earned spotlight and he's an alright guy, but gets mad and horny over a girl in what seems like at least an honest attempt to emulate teenage male hormones but it probably needed Harry taking a swing at him. In the movie version they change the end of the tournament a bit to be sort of like this. Instead of agreeing to tie right off, Harry is about to win, realizes he's been an rear end in a top hat, and goes back and rescues Cedric from the plant monster so they can tie. If movie five wasn't a godawful clip show that could have also added to Harry's trauma there in an interesting way, since he could have saved Cedric by... continuing to be an rear end in a top hat to him. Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 14:31 on Apr 29, 2021 |
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Apr 29, 2021 14:22
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Regalingualius posted:Yeah, IIRC, there’s a brief mention of her trying tarot in HBP, but she keeps getting The Tower... which fits both in the literal sense (the climactic moment where Dumbledore dies) and with The Tower’s association with disaster, calamity, major upheaval, etc. Doesn't she also start getting more openly drunk due to her sense of impending disaster and spend the whole year trying to warn Dumbledore he's in grave danger? Harry thinks he brushed her off because she's a crank but obviously he does it because he's well aware of the danger.
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Apr 29, 2021 15:00
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at first she gets drunk because she feels the pressure from The Most Noble and Illustrious High Inquisitor, Dolores Umbridge, who is openly saying she is a fraud. Then, she continues to drink because she has to split classes with Firenze (who is a legit good teacher of Divination and should prolly set the standard for O.W.L./N.E.W.T.) and this is somehow a grave insult even though she is burdened, yes burdened, with The Terrible Weight of Dreadful Portents. She must warn Dumbledore. He Must be Told. The cards, the embers, the chicken poo poo! They all foretell DEATH!!!! Firenze, of course, recognized Voldemort was coming back in book 1 while Trelawney said it was a silly impossibility at the end of book 3. Her "predictions" come true because of lucky guesswork. They aren't legit, she is just erring on the side of nebulous bad things happening in a school where being eaten by a giant snek is a real risk and then oh yea during open war. Dumbledore, polite though I'm sure he was, definitely told her "yea I know we're all in grave danger. Go home, Sybill. You're drunk." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unrelated, but why is there barely any pathos and catharsis between Harry and Snape? "Hey I was abused growing up, too. You can actually see in my mind what it was like. It sucks." "Hey what my dad did to you wasn't cool! I'm sorry you went through that because of him." "Yea I got the spell I used out this book. I didn't know what it did. I'm sorry I hurt Draco." "This is MY book Potter." "It's been really useful, except that one horrible spell. This is the kind of teacher I've needed." Though Snape would probably just confiscate it and give Harry detention. Or, since Snape is the adult, maybe anything except blind hatred? I get he is emotionally broken and all but if he is so committed to protecting Lily's child surely he would grow ANY connection with Harry. Or even look at Harry with conflicting emotions. Nope just gotta be all hate all the time, both sides.
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Apr 29, 2021 22:24
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It's because Snape is an rear end in a top hat.
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Apr 29, 2021 22:36
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Cranappleberry posted:at first she gets drunk because she feels the pressure from The Most Noble and Illustrious High Inquisitor, Dolores Umbridge, who is openly saying she is a fraud. Then, she continues to drink because she has to split classes with Firenze (who is a legit good teacher of Divination and should prolly set the standard for O.W.L./N.E.W.T.) and this is somehow a grave insult even though she is burdened, yes burdened, with The Terrible Weight of Dreadful Portents. She must warn Dumbledore. He Must be Told. The cards, the embers, the chicken poo poo! They all foretell DEATH!!!! Snape probably prefers mutual hate to the alternative, which is just Harry hating him for being indirectly responsible for everything bad in his entire life and Snape just having to own that with no comeback, forever. Seeing Harry as a little jackass like his father is a coping mechanism so he doesn't feel as bad
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Apr 29, 2021 22:38
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The worst part of Cursed Child is that JK is still too chicken to write an actual scene where Snape and Harry talk it out. Alt timeline Snape finds out Harry named his kid after him, but Harry never talks to Snape's painting (just Dumbledore's a few times)
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Apr 29, 2021 22:39
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It would've been an interesting twist if Divination turned out to be a Dark Art. Have it turn out to be like cursing someone, where you 'predict' terrible things happening to a person and all of it (sans death) would come true down the line.
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Apr 29, 2021 22:41
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Also Harry is barely interested in empathizing with people he actually likes, no way he's gonna spare a thought to how he could find some common ground with the man who's been using his position of authority to bully and harass Harry for years on end.
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Apr 29, 2021 22:42
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The musical has Snape and none other than my man Cedric emerge as resurrection stone ghosts and give Harry advice. Snape's specific emergence is pretty lol. I actually think the whole number is pretty heartwarming and it gets stuck in my head, although warning it's a trash comedy musical from a decade ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYYs7g5H-yU song starts at 6 minutesreignofevil posted:It's because Snape is an rear end in a top hat.
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Apr 29, 2021 23:30
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What if Firenze was doing the same lucky guesswork but he's just enigmatic enough that it's hard to notice. That and the different body language between species being harder to read. Or what if divination is legitimately caught between being fraudulent and being a real art because you can only tap into it like 70% if you're a true believer so it's impossible to know when you're right, you just gotta hedge bets with vague language, add in your own informed guesses, but still try to lose yourself in the moment. I like the idea of fields of magic that can't really be properly quantified, which kinda adds credence to how dumb and silly most wizards tend to be. Sometimes it just works better when you goof around. Guy A. Person posted:The worst part of Cursed Child is that JK is still too chicken to write an actual scene where Snape and Harry talk it out. Alt timeline Snape finds out Harry named his kid after him, but Harry never talks to Snape's painting (just Dumbledore's a few times) I thought she didn't write it.
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Apr 29, 2021 23:43
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SlothfulCobra posted:Or what if divination is legitimately caught between being fraudulent and being a real art because you can only tap into it like 70% if you're a true believer so it's impossible to know when you're right, you just gotta hedge bets with vague language, add in your own informed guesses, but still try to lose yourself in the moment. So basically, medium-term weather forecasting.
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Apr 29, 2021 23:45
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Divination is like the Creative Writing of the Hogwarts curriculum. There's no hard rubric for grading, just what the prof finds evocative
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Apr 29, 2021 23:49
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The weirdest Snape thing is how Malfoy is his favourite student. Malfoy's exactly the kind of spoiled brat that Snape hates in Harry.
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Apr 30, 2021 00:27
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josh04 posted:The weirdest Snape thing is how Malfoy is his favourite student. Malfoy's exactly the kind of spoiled brat that Snape hates in Harry. Well, it's twofold: It gets under Harry's skin, and he has to like him to keep his deep-cover Nazi thing going
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Apr 30, 2021 00:36
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