zedprime posted:

Wanted: Chewbacca street performer suspected in French Quarter stabbing

Cartoon Man posted:

Cartoon Man posted:

Platystemon posted:

https://www.kktv.com/2021/04/28/boulders-block-road-in-boulder-canyon-near-boulder-according-to-boulder-county-sheriffs-office/

quote:

Bavaria: Sex toy sparks hand grenade scare


A police bomb squad rushed to a Bavarian forest in response to a call about a suspected hand grenade. They gave the all-clear after the suspect device turned out to be a sex toy.

A woman who was out for a jog alerted police to a possible hand grenade in a bag, sparking a full-scale police bomb squad operation.

The detonation team that arrived at the scene in a forest near the Bavarian city of Passau, close to the Austrian border, eventually discovered that the object was actually a sex toy.

Truth exposed
The woman had noticed the item in a transparent bag that also contained several other items, the Passauer Neue Presse newspaper reported on Tuesday.

Instead of having to carry out a controlled detonation, the police explosives team quickly gave the all-clear.

A close inspection revealed that the object was a dummy grenade made of rubber.

The presence of two unused condoms and an empty tube of lubricant in the bag, as well as a USB cable, provided a clue as to what it really was. Officers conducted a quick online investigation to test their theory.

"The search on the internet confirmed the suspicion," the police said in a press release. "There actually are sex toys in the shape of hand grenades, and that was the kind of thing we were dealing with here."

Based on the state of decomposition of the bag, officers deduced that the objects had been discarded a relatively long time ago.

"How these items got there and why they were left there can only be surmised," police said.

Discoveries of hidden or forgotten undetonated munitions still regularly trigger police operations in Germany, more than 75 years after the end of World War II.

Fatty Crabcakes posted:

The internet makes you turgid

freeedr posted:

Are you spying on me

Fatty Crabcakes posted:

Not just you, actually

The Bloop posted:

Oh good the Fat Boy Injector is finally here for me

quote:

Juan Joya Borja, the 'Spanish Laughing Guy' Meme, Has Died


He was known as ‘The Giggles’ in his native Spain, and his legacy is that of a joy-spreading meme.

Comedian and T.V. personality Juan Joya Borja, best known in America as the “Spanish Laughing Guy,” has died. Borja was 65 years old and died after what Spanish newspapers described as a “long illness.” He’d been hospitalized in 2020.

Known as El Ristas or “The Giggles” because of his distinct laugh, Borja rose to prominence in his native Spain after being featured on a variety show called Ratones Coloraos. During an interview with host Jesus Quintero, Rojas was telling a funny story about throwing dishes into the ocean while working a job as a young man. Borja found his own story so funny that he could barely get through it between fits of laughter.

Ratones Coloraos uploaded the segment to YouTube that year and it gained popularity in Spain, but Borja’s life as a meme would come almost a decade later. Around 2014, people took the clip and uploaded it with their own subtitles completely unrelated to Borja’s original story. Typically, Borja would take the place of an employee for a large company who would cackle through a story about how stupid their boss or a customer was.


When Apple announced a new MacBook in 2015, El Ristas giggled through its poor specifications as an Apple Engineer. El Ristats stood in for every person who’d encountered a flat earther, fought with their family about Brexit, or tried to buy a new graphics card in the past year.

No matter how bad the news, Borja could help you laugh through it. He is the inverse of the Hitler downfall meme. He’s someone who tells a story or explains a concept that is so ridiculous, he can barely get through it because he's laughing so much.

Blue Moonlight posted:

Paying for server backups costs money!

Cartoon Man posted:

Amphigory posted:

Surely Viagra still works in space?

zedprime posted:

Not a given. The human vascular system is nearly completely unsuited for microgravity.

Pastry of the Year posted:

one phone call could solve this entire problem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pSABauyWz0

zedprime posted:

theurepeutic massage they do to diabetics dead feet except on a dick.

Cartoon Man posted:

By popular demand posted:

I have faith in human ingenuity, the first zero gravity porno will be made in my lifetime!

Pastry of the Year posted:

one phone call could solve this entire problem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pSABauyWz0

Inceltown posted:

Inceltown posted:

Inceltown posted:

Humerus posted:

This has to be Gwyneth Paltrow's fault right?