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Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

ASK ME ABOUT MY
UNITED STATES MARINES
FUNKO POPS COLLECTION



The American version of Varan is a much better watch than the original. It's equally as bad, but it's bad in much more interesting ways.

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Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Spatulater bro! posted:

These VS releases always look so tempting, but then I read reviews of the actual films and remember that they're probably not worth dropping $30 on. (though that Home Grown Horrors set is still calling my name...)

VinSyn usually has more hits than misses IMHO.

Shaman Tank Spec
Dec 26, 2003

*blep*



Movie 3: Hausu (1977)



House may be the weirdest movie I've ever watched. Everything about the movie is utterly baffling from the bizarre cuts and fades to the awesomely crappy special effects and the pacing; the movie jumps from scenes of haunting melancholy and sadness to weird slapstick comedy and back again without giving a single gently caress. It's honestly like watching a fever dream on the screen. A bunch of people going through absolute nonsense in front of obviously and cartoonishly flat background images. The cinematography would be at home in a low budget children's TV show. Seven girls trapped in a haunted house, death, blood, dismemberment... and now we've cut to a scene of a guy and a bear in a chef's hat cooking noodles for a bunch of weary travellers. Oh, OK then!

It shouldn't work. This should be something on MST3K. But it does work. It wraps around from "this is a mess" to "this is an amazing, unique, brilliant mess and if anyone ever tried to duplicate this, the results would be a disaster". And I think the reason it does work so well is that everyone involved just had fun with the project and let it go in weird and unexpected directions.

I'm not sure if I'm missing like seven layers of cultural references because I haven't seen enough Japanese movies from the 60s and 70s, but what the hell: even from this perspective House works. I'm not going to discuss the plot or any other details any further, because honestly if someone hasn't seen House, they shouldn't read anything about it going in, they should just sit down to watch it and let the experience wash over them.

This is definitely going to be one of those movies I drag out at movie nights and show to my friends.

Score: :ghost::ghost::ghost::ghost::ghost: / :ghost::ghost::ghost::ghost::ghost:



Movies
1. Evil Dead II, 2. The Legend of Hell House, 3. Hausu

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007

Spatulater bro! posted:

These VS releases always look so tempting, but then I read reviews of the actual films and remember that they're probably not worth dropping $30 on. (though that Home Grown Horrors set is still calling my name...)

They have a sale coming up at the end of May, I recommend dabbling in a few titles you barely know anything about to get a taste of their releases. It's a top tier release house imo, up there with Arrow. They also sell other labels like AGFA which has some neat stuff.

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003

Punch! Punch! Punch!

MacheteZombie posted:

They have a sale coming up at the end of May, I recommend dabbling in a few titles you barely know anything about to get a taste of their releases. It's a top tier release house imo, up there with Arrow. They also sell other labels like AGFA which has some neat stuff.

The only VS titles I own are Christmas Evil and Body Melt, and I'm impressed with both. Any suggestions for the safest blind buys? I do like the looks of Cthulhu Mansion.

e: feel free to take this conversation to the physical media thread.

Spatulater bro! fucked around with this message at 19:34 on May 4, 2021

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer

Spatulater bro! posted:

The only VS titles I own are Christmas Evil and Body Melt, and I'm impressed with both. Any suggestions for the safest blind buys? I do like the looks of Cthulhu Mansion.

e: feel free to take this conversation to the physical media thread.

Def By Temptation, Spookies, and obviously Tammy and the T-Rex

Count Thrashula
Jun 1, 2003

Peak Performance.

Buglord
7) The Howling (1981)


I was surprisingly disappointed by The Howling. Despite a few fun plot ideas and makeup effects, I just developed NO connection anything in this movie and found my mind wandering during parts when I should have been absolutely invested. It was well-shot, certainly, but I don't feel any reason to revisit it down the road.

:ghost: :ghost:

Total: 7
1. Crawl (2019) / 2. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) / 3. Vampyr (1932) / 4. I Walked With A Zombie (1943) / 5. Kwaidan (1964) / 6. Vampyres (1975) / 7. The Howling (1981)

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer

No. 1 Juicy Boi posted:

7) The Howling (1981)


I was surprisingly disappointed by The Howling. Despite a few fun plot ideas and makeup effects, I just developed NO connection anything in this movie and found my mind wandering during parts when I should have been absolutely invested. It was well-shot, certainly, but I don't feel any reason to revisit it down the road.

:ghost: :ghost:

Total: 7
1. Crawl (2019) / 2. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) / 3. Vampyr (1932) / 4. I Walked With A Zombie (1943) / 5. Kwaidan (1964) / 6. Vampyres (1975) / 7. The Howling (1981)


I really really want to like The Howling, but I never do. :(

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007

Spatulater bro! posted:

The only VS titles I own are Christmas Evil and Body Melt, and I'm impressed with both. Any suggestions for the safest blind buys? I do like the looks of Cthulhu Mansion.

e: feel free to take this conversation to the physical media thread.

Action usa for non horror is a blast. I really liked mountaintop motel massacre for something offbeat and low budget as hell. Taking tiger mountain is a neat artsyovie with bill Paxton, tho I warn you that contains him getting a real bj if u prefer to avoid stuff like that. Liquid sky and fade to black are great. I also really liked disconnected, star time, and psychos in love. If you want some titles that are a bit more well known Putney scope, ice cream man, and hell comes to frogtown are solid options.

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007
You can't go wrong with their blaxploitation releases either though I've only watched dolemite so far to be upfront

Debbie Does Dagon
Jul 8, 2005



So, I'm not counting non-list movies towards my total, so I guess these are supplementary and unofficial? Let's call them the X-Files.

1. In Fabric (2018) - Date night with my love :swoon:

This is my third watch now, and honestly, it just gets better and better. Yes, it's a flawed film and clearly should have either been an anthology or should have leaned harder into exploring the first half. Once you accept the framework however it becomes so much easier to love, and just settle into the surreal dark humour, the many references, the bizarre tone, the playful arcane whisperings, the constant uneasy horny gestures. I feel like this was a film that was made for me specifically, and it's just my happy place.

4.5/5

2. Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020) - Bracketology stream

This is a lot better as a group than going solo. It's fun, it's light, it doesn't overstay its welcome, and it's wonderful to see stories centred on the lives and experiences of minority groups, not least in the South Bronx which has a special place in my heart. It reminds me so much of hanging out in West Farms, and chatting up sweet old gay Cuban santeros, stroking bodega kitties, being bitten by bodega kitties, and grabbing murder burgers. Fun times.

4/5

3. The Thing (1982) - Bracketology stream

I've seen this so many times now that I actually started fidgeting with my phone halfway through. I love it, it's a perfect film that can only be nitpicked, but I've gone to this well a few too many times now.

5/5

4. Legion of the Dead - Sunday Chill Stream

Just a huge mess of ideas, held together with a few fun moments and a certain manic energy. If you loved Feast and wanted a worse version, this is for you.

2.5/5

5. Tideland - Sunday Chill Stream

This is actually a first time for me. I loved the spin on the Alice in Wonderland story, and how the film effortlessly portrays countless bleak situations, but in a way that's fun, and almost bright, and enjoyable. We really get the sense that we're seeing the world through an optimistic and creative child's eyes, even when it's exploring death, and abuse, and I guess even mass-murder? My experience of the film can be boiled down to: "Oh, you could show this to children, they'd love it. Oh no, never show this to kids, this is horrific."

5/5

6. Freeway - Sunday Chill Stream

If you caught the stream you already know how much I love this film, and how enjoyable it is. This is my second time watching it this week, and I may go for a third. This is exactly the energy I want from a film, and these are exactly the characters I want to spend 90 minutes with, and it fills my heart with such joy that the sequel is just as good (if more than a little transphobic). Highly recommended.

5/5

7. Deerskin - Sunday Chill Stream

This is the second time for me, and it still holds the same pervasive charm. Watching demented clueless narcissistic characters descend even further is just a joy, and this film captures all that in an extremely funny and surreal way. It's also only 75 minutes, so that's incredibly hard to argue with.

4.5/5

8. Wild at Heart - Sunday Chill Stream

Lynch's exploitation movie and Wizard of Oz tribute. For me it's one of his weaker features, perhaps even the weakest, but for Lynch that's still head and shoulders above where most filmmakers are. There are just enough horny, surreal, violent, and bizarre moments to keep me hooked, even if the whole effect is a bit loose for my liking. It all just needs tightening up, maybe ditch half of the cast, or focus primarily on Laura Dern and Nick Cage's characters.

4/5

9. Blue Velvet - Sunday Chill Stream

Here is another film I could fidget and chat through because I've seen it too many times. It's perfect, it's maybe my favourite Lynch film, certainly in the top three with Inland Empire and Fire Walk With Me. It's an exploration of sex, of power, of relationships, of fear, of coming of age, all wrapped in a surreal neo-Noir shell, and imho it contains several lifetime best performances, most notably Dennis Hopper and Isabella Rosselini. Is Dean Stockwell's Ben a homophobic trope indicating Lynch's underlying unease, or at minimum disinterest, in depicting queer characters positively unless they're attractive women? Yes. I could never hate Lynch though.

5/5

10. Varan - Bracketology Stream

This is just bad. The characters are negligible, the story is meaningless, the conflict could be a statement about the evils of imperialism but it really isn't, it might even be the complete opposite and probably is. The camera is mostly interested in watching howitzers fire. Just bad, bad, bad, and more bad. I'm putting it at the same score as Red Zone Cuba, and Beast of the Yucca Flats, and Monster-a-Go-Go if that's an indication, this is the score I reserve for non-movies that want to trick you into watching them.

1/5

11. The Roost - Bracketology Stream

Another bad, bad, terrible, no good movie, but not maliciously so. Here it's all just amateur incompetence, slightly saved by the presence of Tom Noonan. He stands like an island in the film, a William Castle figure, reminding you that it's all just for fun, and to enjoy yourselves, but there's no enjoying this Tom. You lied to me, you little scamp.

1.5/5

Official - 2/13
X-Files - 11/?

Debbie Does Dagon fucked around with this message at 22:34 on May 4, 2021

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Yeti: The Giant of The 20th Century (1977)

What if King Kong, but dumb?

You know you're in for a good time when the dog gets name checked in the opening credits.

A million year old, thirty foot* tall Yeti is unfrozen from a glacier, taken to Toronto, and runs amok. Some people want it dead. Jane and her mute brother Herbie want to protect him. And the director of this film loves his shots of helicopter rotors.

You know how in King Kong it takes at least twenty minutes (Kong: Skull Island) to nine hours (Peter Jackson's King Kong) to see the titular monkey? Not this loving film! Within five minutes they're freeing the Yeti from his frozen ice block. Using flame throwers, which doesn't seem like the brightest of ideas, but hey, I'm not a scientist.

Sixteen year old Jane and her mute younger brother Herbie (who stopped talking after their parents died**) work (?) for their grandfather Morgan Hunnicut, who runs lots of businesses and is very successful. He plans to use the newly discovered Yeti (discovered by Herbie, we're told. The movie doesn't show this, because it had flame throwers to get to) as a mascot for all his businesses (Which apparently does work, since we're later treated to a montage of people going nuts over Yeti-mania, brother.) The Yeti (pronounced "Yay-Tee" by Jane) immediately goes berserk, and kidnaps Jane and Herbie. After a SFX of the Yeti's nipple becoming erect (yes, really), Jane and Herbie somehow befriend the Yeti, and convince him to follow them back to their camp.

The grandfather then transports the Yeti via a very impressive shot of a toy helicopter, to the top of a Toronto hotel, where is once again goes berserk and climbs down the building (You see, Kong went up, Yeti goes down). Jane manages to hide the Yeti in a warehouse, where agents of a rival to her grandfather's business frame the Yeti for a murder. The police want to kill the Yeti, the killers kidnap Herbie, Yeti rescues Herbie and kills the killers. Jane tells Yay-Tee to go back to the wilderness, and the final shot is of the Yeti superimposed over a glacier with tears streaming down his cheeks.

The End.


This movie definitely feels like it was made in response to Dino De Laurentiis' King Kong, but other than the idea of "Giant Hairy Creature Goes Nuts", the film doesn't seem to know what to do with itself. There's a guy, Cliff, who helps resurrect the Yeti, but it turns out (spoilers!) that he's working for/is voted in charge of a rival corporation which is jealous of the success of the Hunnicut Corp? I mean, you never hear about the Burger King trying to murder Ronald McDonald, but I guess if someone has a real, live Yeti as a mascot, no other business could possibly compete with that?

The effects of this film are bad. Like, laughably bad. There's crowds shots on the roof of the hotel, and the director decided to blue screen in the main cast instead of shooting them with the rest of the crowd. The large animatronic hands and feet of the Yeti look like something from a high school home coming parade float.

And then there's the score. There's one main theme, played over and over, and it sounds like a Basil Poledouris rip-off of "O Forturna" from "Carmina Burana", except for one part ...

... Remember the old SNL sketch with Bill Murray; Nick the Lounge Singer? Where he makes up lyrics to the disco-fied theme from "Star Wars"? Well, this film did it in earnest, sticking lyrics to the main theme, lyrics that sound like "Yeti, he's so large ..."

So is this a good film? No, no it is not. But at least it's never boring, so it's got that going for it.

2 out of 5 "Yeti, Kiss Me!" T-shirts.

Watched on Tubi

1.) Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century


*size varies depending on blue screen shot
** you'd think at some point the kid would suddenly talk. Nope. Never says a word. Not even when his dog comes back to life.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Davros1 fucked around with this message at 20:43 on May 4, 2021

twernt
Mar 11, 2003

Whoa whoa wait, time out.


10. 1969. The Cremator
Available on Criterion

It’s the eve of World War II in Czechoslovakia where Mr. Kopfrkingl is a jovial fellow who works in a crematorium. He likes to extol the virtues of cremation, as it speeds up the process of rebirth.

The Cremator is the last 60s movie I’ll be watching for this challenge and I’d have to say it’s the best-looking of the lot. Not even X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes, with its vivid colors, or Planet of the Vampires, with its wonderfully weird sets and props, comes close in my opinion. There are just so many clever and beautiful scene compositions and transitions.



Rudolf Hrušínský is amazing as Kopfrkingl. He sells everything with the tiniest eye movement or expression. Miloš Vognič, who plays his son, is also great.



Even though I was pretty sure I knew where the story was going, the big reveal still put a lump in my throat. I feel like I can’t say much more about it without ruining it.



Anyway I was really blown away by The Cremator. I definitely have to thank Spatulater bro! for making it the movie of the month because I swapped it in for my original 1969 pick and I have zero regrets.

I give The Cremator :ghost::ghost::ghost::ghost:1/2

Time Travel Challenge: 10/31

Watched: 1. Jigoku (1960), 2. The Curse of the Doll People (1961), 3. The Burning Court (1962), 4. X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes (1963), 5. The Long Hair of Death (1964), 6. Planet of the Vampires (1965), 7. Daimajin (1966), 8. Viy (1967), 9. A Quiet Place in the Country (1968), 10. The Cremator (1969)

twernt fucked around with this message at 21:23 on May 4, 2021

The Berzerker
Feb 24, 2006

treat me like a dog


I saw some people posting about Neon Demon a few pages back, and I definitely recommend it. I watched it about a week before the challenge opened, otherwise it would have been on my list for this month.

Iron Crowned posted:

4) Winterbeast(1992, Blu-Ray)
it would make good background noise for a party, or perhaps something to project behind a band.

Totally - there's a bar near me that projects random stuff on the wall and I was thinking how perfect Winterbeast would be for that environment.

No. 1 Juicy Boi posted:

5) Kwaidan (1964)

I am glad you got around to this one!

dorium posted:

7. Dead & Buried [1981] - Dir: Gary Sherman

I watched this last year after it was recommended by somebody in the horror thread, and I think it's great. There are some really fun Stan Winston effects in it. Definitely would suggest people throw this on their list if they're looking to build up a queue, it also has a bad rear end ending.

M_Sinistrari posted:

4) Game of Death - Shudder - 2017
From what I gather, this was originally an eight episode series so that explains the odd pacing this had with me.

This explains a lot. It was a really weird watch, I think I called it 'murder Jumanji' at the time. The script was terrible. The music video part about 2/3 of the way through was unexpected, but pretty cool.

Count Thrashula
Jun 1, 2003

Peak Performance.

Buglord
8) Torso


All in all I think that Torso is a fairly bog-standard giallo - very middle of the road. But the style and the weapons-grade male gaze that the director manages to fit in here really put it above "average" territory.

:ghost: :ghost: :ghost: :ghost:

Total: 8
1. Crawl (2019) / 2. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) / 3. Vampyr (1932) / 4. I Walked With A Zombie (1943) / 5. Kwaidan (1964) / 6. Vampyres (1975) / 7. The Howling (1981) / 8. Torso (1973)

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007

Witchfinder General

3. Night of the Creeps (1986)

" Should you be telling me this?"

This is a fun movie. SEt on a college campus it starts off super strong with a alien ship jettisoning something into the atmosphere, then it switches to black and white which is a weird choice after having things in color. The two main characters accidently let loose a eperimented on body that releases the "slugs" which animate dead things. Tom Atkins is in it as a grizzled police officer that tells the most awesome story and monologue you'll probably hear in a horror movie . Its goopy , its got great practical effects, and its got a great fun atmosphere. Worth the watch.

WeaponX
Jul 28, 2008



3. Victor Crowley (2017)


The 4th installment of the Hatchet series, I have seen the first 2 and maybe the 3rd? It’s not spoiling much to say they all sorta blend together.

Anyone with experience with these films knows what you get, lots of practical effects, nasty kills, and general goofiness. The series comes from the brain of horror-hound Adam Green and they are all obviously passion projects.

And so that’s why I generally give the Hatchet films a pass. They all basically look the same, they are very limited by their budget, the humor is very hit or miss, and none of them really bother to change up the formula or offer anything beyond brutal slasher kills and horror references (I’m still happy to see Kane Hodder, Tony Todd, and Felissa Rose get some paychecks!) and I can totally see how that may bore some viewers.


But hey, it’s like a spookshow haunted house you’ve been through a few times. You know what’s gonna happen next and none of it is gonna scare you but it’s a spectacle watching the various ways that Adam Green very lovingly finds to splatter brains and dismember. And some of those kills throughout the series are incredible. Just don’t expect much else out of it.


Watchlist ranked in order of enjoyment
1. Bride of Re-Animator* 2. Victor Crowley 3. Jason Goes to Hell

*=rewatch

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

ASK ME ABOUT MY
UNITED STATES MARINES
FUNKO POPS COLLECTION





Dracula Dead And Loving It

While an unashamed spoof of the original Dracula, up to creating exact replicas of sets, Dracula Dead And Loving It also takes inspiration from the later Hammer Draculas. Specifically in the depiction of women. All the female characters in DDALI are absurdly beautiful and glamorous. I mean, goddamn.

I think Leslie Nielsen was a bit of a miscast. Nielsen is famous for his deadpan delivery but the script doesn't really work to that strength in Dracula. On the other hand, Steven Webber has a fairly strong claim to being the best Harker. It's not a particularly big or taxing role typically, but Webber really infuses a lot of character and charm in it.

DDALI isn't exceptionally funny. There are definitely some good jokes and I had my share of laughs. But it doesn't have that really sharp quality of Mel Brooks at his best.

Overall I'd say it's a decently fun time. Especially if you like the old Dracula, the care taken in recreating it is pretty impressive. But I wouldn't tell anybody to put it on the top of their list or anything.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Gripweed posted:



Dracula Dead And Loving It

While an unashamed spoof of the original Dracula, up to creating exact replicas of sets, Dracula Dead And Loving It also takes inspiration from the later Hammer Draculas. Specifically in the depiction of women. All the female characters in DDALI are absurdly beautiful and glamorous. I mean, goddamn.

Amy Yasbeck, oh my.

The Berzerker
Feb 24, 2006

treat me like a dog



7. The Tingler (William Castle, 1959)
Every time I see the name of this, my brain goes to this. I added a few Castle films to my watch list after watching Mr. Sardonicus for the bracketology tournament, and while the gimmick for this one is not much of anything, I still enjoyed it. The premise is silly, but the tingler itself looks pretty good all things considered (it helps that it looks like a centipede, one of my least favorite creatures on earth). I love the brief use of color during the scene where Ollie scares Martha to death. Vincent Price is a delight, someone should make a 1 hour cut of him saying "the tingler" on repeat so I can use it as a sleep meditation.

:ghost: 4/5


8. Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)
Wow this was fantastic, totally brutal and beautiful. I love the 1977 film but I'm not precious about it, and I think this does an excellent job of respecting Argento's work while still being its own thing. Some cute twists on references to the original. I was so sucked into the story that I didn't really expect the twist, but as soon as it kicked off I was nodding along and thinking, "sure, of course." I'm pretty sure I didn't blink during the dance sequences, or during the nightmares. I did find Swinton's performance as Klemperer kind of distracting, and some of the digital effects in the final sequence were rough and took me out of it a little bit, but I'm nitpicking. That final sequence was totally all out chaos, although I think my most visceral reaction was during Olga's body being contorted and thrown around the studio, goddamn that was gnarly.

:ghost: 4.5/5

Challenge Count: 8/31

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006

6. Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)
A stunning achievement, it’s just about two hours and doesn’t feel it at all, the sets and the majority of the scenes are wild. Haxan is a terrible entry point into silent cinema, nothing else is like it, it’s so good, gonna be always chasing that dragon. You sometimes forget nudity existed in 1922. “Hey did that movie just call me a slut?”

:ghost::ghost::ghost::ghost::ghost: /5

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 03:35 on May 5, 2021

UltimoDragonQuest
Oct 5, 2011



In for 16 I guess.


1. Separation D
Spooky kid meets vengeful spirit meets family court drama meets Conjurverse spinoff-bait monsters. There's a lot of subplots here! It's not a slog but I can't recommend it if you have any options. The Boy and Brahms: The Boy II are incredible comedies when the scares flop but this is pretty flat. It does deliver a "WTF was that?" ending like The Boy duology.


2. The Deadly Spawn B
Microbudget creature feature where makeup and effects outshine the rest. The script has real problems but the conclusion has lots of great action. I love a good worms movie and this is very satisfying. Humans are forced to wrestle puppets which is always fun. The setup is pretty slow but there is a lot of absurd 80s house decor to enjoy during the down time.

e: Planned list of movies: https://boxd.it/c22rw

UltimoDragonQuest fucked around with this message at 04:09 on May 5, 2021

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007
2. Trauma (1978) dir. by León Klimovsky
Solid little giallo. The twist is pretty obvious, but the plot beats are still pretty interesting and the setting is gorgeously shot. I liked the interactions between the two leads, and the climax was an alright twist on a "psycho" style motivation caused by, well, trauma from another person's abuse.

A little slow in places and like most giallos the acting can be iffy at times. There's some really funny dialogue at times though.

3.5/5
--
3.The Killer Is One of Thirteen (1973) dir. by Javier Aguirre
Very slow but I enjoyed a lot of the slower bits early on. The first night dinner scene is great. A great setting and some superb costuming. All the ladies clothing had wonderful colors and great senses of personality.

The veneer of civility masking over people with various hidden troubles, from drug crimes to adultery made for some neat plot beats even if it's slow to get to those destinations. For giallo and slasher fans the murders take ages to get to so I can understand being bored. Honestly it was the last act for me where the movie kinda became more dull, which is when it did finally settle into standard giallo affair.

That said I enjoyed my time with the cast and the final scene is solid and made for a cool closing shot.

3/5
--
4. The Police Are Blundering in the Dark (1975)
Great title, mediocre movie. It's very pretty, the sets and countryside are beautiful, something that seems a bit of a theme for my viewing today (Forgotten Gialli Vol 1 from Vinegar Syndrome). It's sleazy and has some bloody moments but it also drags at times and doesn't really go anywhere different than a lot gialli. It had potential with the sci-fi element.

I'm a sucker for the genre so I ended up liking it. There's always enough striking imagery in these to keep me entertained. If you're a giallo fan you might feel the same.

2.5/5

Movie Count - 4/15

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003

Punch! Punch! Punch!

#5

Who Can Kill a Child?
Narciso Ibáñez Serrador, 1976



This is the first movie I've ever seen where the opening credits have a major impact on the tone of the entire film. For the first eight minutes, we're subjected to real archival footage of atrocities committed to children throughout the 20th century. It's graphic, heartbreaking and exceedingly difficult to watch. Mercifully, the credits eventually end and we jump into the movie proper, but the feeling of those images linger in the mind throughout the rest of the film, forcing us to reconcile their meaning with the events of the plot.

And what a plot it is. I've never seen anything quite like this. An English couple travels to a small sparsely populated island off the coast of Spain. When they arrive there they find only children. And the children are acting a little strange... I won't say much more outside of spoiler tags because this is a movie you should go into as blind as possible. It's a little bit of Village of the Damned and a touch of Lord of the Flies, with the vibe of a zombie movie. But even that doesn't quite describe the strange atmosphere. Combined with the weight of the intro, there's a "wrong-ness" in the air through this whole thing. And it's kind of spectacular.

4.5/5



Films watched: 1. Witchfinder General (1968), 2. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923), 3. The Devil Rides Out (1968), 4. The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945), 5. Who Can Kill a Child? (1976)

M_Sinistrari
Sep 5, 2008

Do you like scary movies?




5) The Roost - Debbie's Bracket Streamshow - 2005

If I'd seen this on my own, I'd consider it okay. The groupwatch elevated it to a I like this.

On average, I do like Ti West's horror work. Even Innkeepers that didn't quite click with me, I probably will give that another try. In the case of The Roost, it's one of his early films so while it has it's floundering moments, you can see the glimmer of potential here.

Story is a horror host's movie showing where four friends heading to a wedding have a car accident and walk to a farmhouse for help only to be besieged by bats who's victims turn into zombies.

I absolutely adored the horror host bit. Took me back to my childhood watching the horror host movies. The movie bit was kinda hit or miss. It wasn't so much bad as fumbly which is understandable for a still learning filmmaker. I find myself wanting Ti West to remake this one taking into account how much he's learned since.

TheKingslayer
Sep 3, 2008

1. Bride of ReAnimator (1990)

Watched On: Shudder
Doctors Herbet West and Dan Cain have returned to Miskatonic University Hospital to continue their experiments and rebuild Dan's lost love.

I haven't seen Bride nearly as many times as I've seen the original ReAnimator mostly because I've never liked it as much. On this viewing that still holds in that it's missing... something? I can't really put my finger on it. ReAnimator grabs me in a way that Bride fails to do. With that being said though, Bride of ReAnimator is still pretty good, it just feels like more of a spectacle. The crew seemed to know they needed to turn this one up to 11 because the monsters and gore are quite gnarly, though I thought I remembered the final scene with the Bride being more extreme than it actually was. I also think this story despite being weaker does a better job of making Herbert West a for sure villain. At this point he can't claim ignorance about the creatures he brings to life being able to feel or suffer and obviously he doesn't give a poo poo that they do. Seeing the various experiments that West leaves to rot (I assume) for eternity in a crypt is just disgusting and helped me turn the corner on loving to hate West. The changes to Dan's character to are pretty good, he seems traumatized beneath the surface about what he's experienced since knowing West. Dan seems to just be going along because he doesn't know what else to do.
While it'll never find it's way into my regular rotation of favorites, Bride of ReAnimator is still a solid movie on it's own and enjoyable to pick up every so often.

Opopanax
Aug 8, 2007

I HEX YE!!!


1: 10 Cloverfield Lane

My partner and I just listened to the Faculty of Horror episode about this yesterday and we saw it in the theatre when it first came out and not since, so it seemed like a good pick to revisit.
It’s a good movie with a simple start that definitely relies a lot on its cast, but that’s fine as Winstead and Goodman are both great actors who play well off each other. Goodman in particular is great in this, I like how you’re not really meant to sympathize with Harold, and even if he’s right he’s still at best a very weird, dangerous dude.
The ending is for sure controversial. I like it but I’d kind of rather they’d gone smaller with it, we don’t need a big climactic alien fight immediately after her big climactic fight out of the bunker. I actually like all 3 Cloverfield movies but they’d definitely all be better as separate, unrelated movies (which I don’t think is too odd an opinion since this and Paradox were both their own things before being slapped into the Cloververse)

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.


7 (10). The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)
Written and directed by John Erick Dowdle.
Watched on Amazon Prime, available on Pluto, Epix, TubiTV, and DirecTV.


Return of the Fallen 3/13
Raiders of the Tomb; Eliminated in Seeding Round


To be honest I found this incredibly boring. I was worried going in since I dislike true crime stuff and hate torture stuff and many talk about how bad it is, and a premise of "snuff films" certainly sounds bad. And certainly some scenes get very uncomfortable and unpleasant but largely I just wasn't engaged at all. There's no characters or real story to invest in so while the actions of violence seen and described are disturbing, they all feel very staged and false. I don't watch true crime shows so maybe this is a very accurate faux one, but the construction of it just left me very distanced. Its all so constructed that the random pieces of "real" footage just feel like part of the show. And the characters in it feel very one dimensional and fake, especially when they're like admiring the guy. But even the ones who aren't don't even really hang around. Like maybe telling the story through a handful of commentators/investigators could have helped but it feels like there's 20 or 30 of them through the film.

There's just so much "things I can't even say" and "things you couldn't imagine". This film feels like its trying so hard to be shocking. And yeah, some of the "snuff film" scenes are rough. But its all done without a real hooking story. Even the key Cheryl plotline just didn't engage me because Cheryl's never a real character. She's just the plot device being used to loosely construct a story around this faux true crime doc. And again, I'm not a viewer of those so maybe its a good faux one. But there's even moments where the movie feels like its setting up something about motives or secrets or anything deeper and they just go unexplored.

I dunno. I was prepared to hate this and be offended, but instead I'm just sorry I wasted my time.




8 (11). The Leech Woman (1960)
Directed by Edward Dein, Screenplay by David Duncan, Story by Ben Pivar and Francis Rosenwald.
Watched with Svengoolie, available on FlixFling.


I mean, at least the "natives" weren't in blackface.

There's a lot of interesting ideas in here but I'm not sure any of them come together right. "Leech Woman" is a crummy title because it conjures up ideas of B creature features and creepy crawlies but there's no leeches anywhere. Really she's just a vampire... except she sucks the pineal gland, because every horror experiment starts there. Having to stalk men to live, especially when every man she encounters is such a scumbag. The moment when she turns on her husband is hilarious and well deserved. But it also comes like halfway into the movie and that's kind of the problem. This film meanders way too much on other stuff, especially the "African adventure", and kind of glosses past the more interesting vampire stuff and really burying that moment that could have kind of steered the film in a very darkly hilarious direction. But instead it kind of steers serious. Sorta.

I mean the last act is actually kind of absurd in how every victim basically everything they need to do to become as unsympathetic as possible. Our Leech Woman isn't quite a hero or victim, but she's not exactly a full on monster either. I think it probably would have been fun if she had. Coleen Gray really gives it her all in a role that borders on the silly sometimes. But she sells it and keeps this thing together, which is probably why I wanted to see her get a meatier role as either a vampire predator or an antihero vigilante. But she kind of just wings it short term until she runs out of time.

Shift that journey into the first act and shorten it, better time her turning on her husband, and have a little more fun with the premise and I would have really enjoyed this. But it wasn't terrible. It definitely had some ideas and good parts. Just didn't really take the time to put them together right.




9 (12). Sometimes They Come Back (1991)
Directed by Tom McLoughlin, written by Lawrence Konner & Mark Rosenthal, based on a short story by Stephen King
Watched on TubiTV, available on Pluto TV.


King Spring 3/13

Look, bullying is wrong and bad but if the town's biggest bully is named Chip then somewhere the natural order of things got messed up.

This is a solidly middle of the road King adaption. Like most King works there's a solid foundation of creepy sinister evil lurking in the peaceful town of regular old people. Also like most King adaptions its stretched out a bit much and runs through the motions in a little. That part is helped by a solid performance by Tim Matheson as a dude deeply traumatized and a walking advertisement for trying out therapy while two familiar horror faces in Brooke Adams and Robert Rusler help add support. And his roving pack of hyena-esque zombie greaser bullies make for solid antagonists.

At its core Sometimes They Come Back is clearly an allegory for trauma and the idea that if you don't deal with stuff its just gonna come back on you and possibly the people you love. The adaption isn't subtle with that having Matheson have a random "history repeats itself" conversation, a history of breakdowns and possible violence, and a therapist who is apparently good enough to see the warning signs and ask if he wants to talk. And Matheson does a solid job with it. But I don't think the movie really dug in enough on that. Exploring the consequences of what happened, how he and his family did and didn't deal with it, and what his past breakdowns were probably would have been a more engaging time than some of the just wandering about town and slow reveal of the obvious threat. Maybe even playing with the idea of whether or not this was really happening or just trauma and delusion. But its played pretty straight and that does drag a bit as there's no real surprises here. We always know where we're heading and we definitely took a bit of a scenic route.

The original King story also goes a very different route with its conclusion that the tv adaption gives the old tv cleanup. I understand that and don't hate it but boy would the original ending have made for something more interesting and ballsy. c'est la vie.

Still, this is kind of exactly the thing I wanted at 1 AM when I couldn't sleep. That kind of familiar and easy mediocre King stuff that just is sort of like a comfy sweatshirt or something to me. I wouldn't tell anyone to go out of their way and watch this, but I've seen a lot worse for after midnight can't sleep showings and this B horror stuff will always hold a place for me in that slot.




🌻🎈Spook-A-Doodle Half-Way-To-Halloween ’21: Return of the Fallen & King Spring🎈🌻
King Spring: 3/13
Return of the Fallen: 3/13
Fran Challenges: ??/??

Watched - New (Total)
1. Riding the Bullet (2004); 2. Cat’s Eye (1985); - (3). Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020); - (4). The Thing (1982); 3 (5). Sleep Tight (2011); - (6). Dark Shadows (2012); 4 (7). The Wicker Man (1973); 5 (8). Varan (1958); 6 (9). The Roost (2005); 7 (10). The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007); 8 (11). The Leech Woman (1960); 9 (12). Sometimes They Come Back (1991);

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




5: Street Trash (1987)

A shop owner finds a case of old booze and sells it to the local homeless who melt.

Production values are much better than I expected and the melting effects are really good and gross as they should be. It's pretty funny.
I'm not sure what, if any, social commentary it's trying to make. Aside from the two brothers, the homeless are presented very unsympathetically (gang rapists). The first kill has a homeless guy melt away into a toilet, which ok visual commentary on how society sees the homeless maybe, but it's also played for laughs, as is the suffering of the homeless in general (eg the penis scene)
OTOH mainstream society as represented by the business owners and cop are also unsympathetic and callous.
It's a fun movie, but there's a meanness to it
The director was only like 21 when he made this which is remarkable

Competed: 5
Four Flies on Grey Velevet; Gods and Monsters; Alice, Sweet Alice, Witchfinder General; Street Trash

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer

bitterandtwisted posted:

5: Street Trash (1987)

A shop owner finds a case of old booze and sells it to the local homeless who melt.

Production values are much better than I expected and the melting effects are really good and gross as they should be. It's pretty funny.
I'm not sure what, if any, social commentary it's trying to make. Aside from the two brothers, the homeless are presented very unsympathetically (gang rapists). The first kill has a homeless guy melt away into a toilet, which ok visual commentary on how society sees the homeless maybe, but it's also played for laughs, as is the suffering of the homeless in general (eg the penis scene)
OTOH mainstream society as represented by the business owners and cop are also unsympathetic and callous.
It's a fun movie, but there's a meanness to it
The director was only like 21 when he made this which is remarkable

Competed: 5
Four Flies on Grey Velevet; Gods and Monsters; Alice, Sweet Alice, Witchfinder General; Street Trash

You reminded me that I still don't own Street Trash, so I bought Street Trash Special Meltdown Edition on blu-ray because of your review. One of my schlocky favorites.

Had no idea the director was 21 when they made this, which really explains the mean-spirited "gently caress it, offend everybody" tone the movie builds.

Class3KillStorm
Feb 17, 2011



Got my second COVID shot yesterday, so I wanted something that I hadn't seen, but was quick and easy and potentially didn't need my full attention on it.


#5. Tarantula (iTunes)

A scientist working on a "nutrient substitute" to combat hunger ends up creating a monster-sized tarantula, which ends wandering around in the Arizona desert and occasionally doing things of mild interest.

Of course, when I said "doesn't need my full attention on it," I still expected the movie to try and hold said attention. Tarantula(!) isn't really concerned with being a mid-budget sci-fi horror movie, so much as it is being a plodding, talky time-waster. There's a sub-plot about the Leo G. Carroll scientist who created the massive spider dying of giantism, because he had been experimenting on humans and one of them infected him as a form of revenge. So Carroll is dying and on a limited time window to try and reverse his condition, but good luck seeing that have any effect on the languid pace or his stiff, boring stuffy scientist performance. It's nonsensical that the things that happen don't affect the characters in the film, but if they're not going to be interested in the proceedings, why should I be?

I think the main takeaways from this experience are this: I was promised, on the poster and in the description, a giant spider causing mild, budget appropriate terror; I was lying on the couch, mildly sore and nauseous, doing the Milhouse "when are they going to get to the fireworks factory**?!" croak before the halfway mark because the picture just didn't want to focus on having a giant spider in its giant spider movie; and in the end, the drat spider never even makes it to any town to do anything interesting! It eats a couple of horses and ranch hands in the desert, chases the one car of named characters you give half a poo poo about, and then gets napalmed to death at the one-yard line by sophomore-effort Clint Eastwood. I mean, I know I wasn't expecting to be able to focus on the picture the whole way through, but I expected more out of it than what I got. I didn't hate this movie, but I was just so incredibly bored with the whole thing, and see no reason why anyone would need to revisit it anytime in the future.

:ghost:/5

**spiderworks factory?
Watched so far: The Curse of the Cat People, Freaky, Vampires vs the Bronx, Rawhead Rex, Tarantula

married but discreet
May 7, 2005


Taco Defender
1. Child’s Play 2

Went into this one with very high expectations since I loved the first and was told this one is even better. It’s not. It’s, fine I guess? The intro showing the manufacture of Chunky is really neat and disturbing, the factory is a fun setpiece in the end, but inbetween nothing really interesting happens. When they finally do get to the Chunky factory, he gets it really bad, which is fun. Not mad that I watched it, but not really impressed either.

2. Varan

Well, let’s say some good things about it: The music isn’t bad. I like Varan’s spikes. They shoot a lot of tiny missiles at Varan, and some look like they actually hit. He looks very cute the one time he flies, and he has a good breaststroke too. Other than that, not much to say. Is it satire? Maybe? A lot of nuance could be lost in translation/subtitling. I almost want to give the benefit of the doubt to the person who made Godzilla. But just because something is stupid and superficial doesn’t make it a satire of the thing its depicting. Ah well.

3. The Roost.

Like this shot? Think it’s neat? Well you’ll be seeing it and the several other good shots in this movie reused a lot. Very economical, but also very amateurish. And of course, it’s an amateur movie. Not a good one either. A lot of ideas that don’t work, a lot of tries and fails. The wraparound is cute (though I found Tom Noonan’s acting horrid), but it actively works against the characters in the movie – they’re developed to a degree that we are supposed to care about them, but Tom makes us want to hope for their demise, and ultimately I neither care for them nor wish them ill. But there’s potential – Ti West is playing around with light and shadow, and he’s doing it quite effectively. There’s also the final found footage segment with the silly lion?? attack and the sick credits song, I love it!

If I had to decide between Varan and Roost (and I do, this is a crosspost from the Bracketology thread after all), I’m going to go for the honest effort vs the lazy cash in.

Count Thrashula
Jun 1, 2003

Peak Performance.

Buglord
9) Frankenhhooker (1990)


This movie kicks so much rear end, I love it. In the tradition of other Frank Henenlotter films like Brain Damage and Basket Case, Frankenhooker is rude, crude, cheap, and FUN.

:ghost: :ghost: :ghost: :ghost:

10) Herschell Gordon Lewis: The Godfather of Gore (2010)


This was decent! Nothing amazing, but an interesting look at Herschell Gordon Lewis's career. It certainly got me to add some additional trash to my watch list.

:ghost: :ghost: :ghost:

Total: 10
1. Crawl (2019) / 2. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) / 3. Vampyr (1932) / 4. I Walked With A Zombie (1943) / 5. Kwaidan (1964) / 6. Vampyres (1975) / 7. The Howling (1981) / 8. Torso (1973) / 9. Frankenhooker (1990) / 10. Herschell Gordon Lewis: The Godfather of Gore (2010)

Count Thrashula fucked around with this message at 17:24 on May 5, 2021

gey muckle mowser
Aug 5, 2003

Do you know anything about...
witches?



Buglord


4. The Demoniacs (1974)
dir. Jean Rollin
blu-ray

Dreamy pacing, haunting atmosphere, decrepit ruins, excessive nudity, Satan, a clown... yep, this is unmistakably a Jean Rollin film. Set in the 19th century, the movie focuses on a seedy group of pirates called "wreckers" who cause shipwrecks, salvage the loot, and kill any survivors (how they cause the wrecks in the first place isn't really explained). After one such wreck they encounter two young women dressed in pure white, who they promptly brutally rape and leave for dead. The girls make a deal with the devil (who is conveniently trapped in some nearby ruins) to gain his powers for one night in exchange for freeing him, and they take their revenge on the pirates.

I generally really dig Rollin's films. The moody atmosphere and haunting visuals are fantastic and I love the surreal and dreamlike feel of the stories. I've come to accept the nudity as par for the course - it is definitely unnecessary and gratuitous and often borders on softcore porn - but this one gets a little too rape-y for me. Actually, it's VERY rape-y, with two extended rape scenes that felt pretty gross. I guess the first is sort of justified (even if it goes on too long) since it kicks off the revenge plot, but there is another towards the end that felt even longer and served no real purpose. Is it supposed to be titillating? To me it just felt uncomfortable and dull at the same time.

Had this toned down the rape stuff I would give it a much higher score, because much of it is classic Rollin weirdness that I love. I'm still giving it a decent rating because I did enjoy it overall, but don't be afraid to fast forward through the rape-y bits.

3.5 boobs out of 5



5. The Addiction (1995)
dir. Abel Ferrara
blu-ray

Kathleen, a student working towards her PhD in philosophy, is attacked by a vampire in a dark alley and soon finds herself thirsting for blood. As the title implies, this film uses vampirism as a metaphor for drug addiction (heroin specifically). It's not subtle about it either - at one point Kathleen uses a syringe to draw blood from a homeless man and then injects it into her own arm. Stylish grimy films about vampires and drugs are extremely my jam, so I loved this.

It's hard to imagine a worse hell than being constantly in the throes of heroin withdrawal, and Lili Taylor really sells it. Her suffering seems so excruciating that you can more or less sympathize with her even as she continues killing innocents (or converting them into vampires themselves). As you might expect, Christopher Walken steals the show in the few scenes he is in, but the whole cast is really solid.

There is a lot of philosophy discussion and some of the dialogue comes across as pretentious, but that didn't really bother me much. I loved the film's vibe and I was fully on board, even for the parts that I didn't fully understand. The black and white cinematography is often stunning, and the climax features one of the best vampire feeding frenzy scenes I've ever seen. I'll revisit it at some point to see if I can unpack the deeper themes a bit more, but on this viewing I really loved it.

4.5 Sartre quotes out of 5

Edgar Wright's Top 100 Horror: 96/100
Slant Top 100 Horror: 96/100
TSZDT 2020: 668/1000

gey muckle mowser
Aug 5, 2003

Do you know anything about...
witches?



Buglord

Spatulater bro! posted:

#5

Who Can Kill a Child?
Narciso Ibáñez Serrador, 1976



Did you watch this on disc or is it online somewhere? It’s on my list but doesn’t seem to be streaming anywhere I can see.

MacheteZombie
Feb 4, 2007

gey muckle mowser posted:



4. The Demoniacs (1974)
dir. Jean Rollin
blu-ray


A 4 star movie dragged down by the gratuitous sexual violence

Spatulater bro!
Aug 19, 2003

Punch! Punch! Punch!

gey muckle mowser posted:

Did you watch this on disc or is it online somewhere? It’s on my list but doesn’t seem to be streaming anywhere I can see.

It's out there... :ninja:

Franchescanado
Feb 23, 2013

If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointment

Grimey Drawer
3. The Black Cat
1934
dir. Edgar G. Ulmer
#83 on They Shoot Zombies (2020) list.




I don't have too much to say, cuz I didn't get much insight from this one. It happened and I watched it. I prefer the more elaborate Italian adaptations of this story, like Fulci's Black Cat or Your Vice Is A Locked Room And Only I Have The Key. The cast in this is great--namely Legosi and Karloff out-acting each other. The cinematography is wonderful, with that classic 1930's black and white look with the high contrasts, especially with the use of shadows. The set design gets pretty fun, too.

Ultimately I've seen too many adaptations of The Black Cat to care much about this one, but I don't have anything negative to say about it, other than it didn't move me.





3 out of 5 :catte:


Total: 3
Films Watched: Fright Night | The Brood | The Black Cat
rewatch | new to me

UltimoDragonQuest
Oct 5, 2011



This is not a good movie but I love the awful projector and composite shots of the "giant" animals.


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Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

UltimoDragonQuest posted:

This is not a good movie but I love the awful projector and composite shots of the "giant" animals.



I want to pet that giant piggy

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