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Keep on being awesome. It may be too late to start (and/or you don’t want to discuss or already have it handled), but have you talked with your OB about medication? My wife had PPA after our first, and so for the second pregnancy with the twins her OB put her on pregnancy-safe medication, which helped immensely.
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May 4, 2021 19:06
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If his dog rear end ever comes crawling back you can have those old fantasies. Can also do it by finding some guy who isn't some dog rear end. Can also make brand new fantasies. Whole world is opening up now, so you get to do RADICAL changes and if it doesn't work out you can blame COVID like the rest of us or blame that dog man who let himself get stolen 3 months before his son's birth. I hope you pull through, you got the strength.
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May 4, 2021 19:10
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In addition to Mr. Dog-rear end, my wife was making the point that who is this other woman who really wanted to be with the kind of guy who'd leave someone 5 weeks from delivery? They're both gonna end up full of regret, and I hope that sooner rather than later you end up in a real good place. Feel free to ask goons for help if needed because we bought a bunch of bees for charity and I don't even remember if it did any good.
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May 4, 2021 19:23
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Yah echoing everyone else on this Koivunen, you're doing amazing! Sorry about all the other crap.
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May 4, 2021 19:32
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I mostly lurk this thread to get a better idea of what my friends with kids are going through and remind myself that just keeping the dang kid alive is so much work, but I'm popping out of the woodwork to give you my full support, Koivunen. What a gigantic selfish rear end in a top hat. I hope you soak him for everything possible. A friend of mine had a baby completely on her own and had to go back into the hospital after discharge with pre-eclampsia and they wouldn't let the baby come with her. She was able to hire a night nurse until her blood pressure was under control and able to go down to home based monitoring. $$$, but apparently they still exist.
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May 4, 2021 19:36
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Hutla posted:I mostly lurk this thread to get a better idea of what my friends with kids are going through and remind myself that just keeping the dang kid alive is so much work, but I'm popping out of the woodwork to give you my full support, Koivunen. What a gigantic selfish rear end in a top hat. I hope you soak him for everything possible. We went to a pre-baby class here in the bay area and some of the parents there were on some other level. One guy was like "I work at netflix so I have a year off now" and another couple was like "we are hiring a night nurse for every night so that we can sleep as normal". I can't imagine how much that stuff costs, but if both of you are in tech and also in higher-level positions, anything is possible I suppose.
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May 4, 2021 20:32
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redreader posted:We went to a pre-baby class here in the bay area and some of the parents there were on some other level. One guy was like "I work at netflix so I have a year off now" and another couple was like "we are hiring a night nurse for every night so that we can sleep as normal". I can't imagine how much that stuff costs, but if both of you are in tech and also in higher-level positions, anything is possible I suppose. I think a night nurse starts at $200/night. So if you use them until the baby is fully sleep trained at age 6mo you would need to spend $36,000. That is definitely another level. Just thinking about dropping affair/divorce news on a pregnant person 5 weeks before their due date makes my blood boil. If you’ve already lied and hidden your affair for two months, why don’t you just suck it up and lie for another 5 loving weeks? Why add stress to literally the most stressful situation a human can normally be expected to go through? “Oh no I have to come clean.” That’s so loving selfish. Using your own guilt and “honesty” to harm the most important people in your life. And then to ask if he can attend the birth! Dude better get used to missing big life events of his kids when he only gets to see them every other weekend.
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May 4, 2021 20:46
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I'm currently playing as the night nurse and the sawing sound of relief on my wife's snoring happy face as the baby gets fed by someone else (me) at 8:00pm, 10:00pm, and 2:00am. It is worth paying someone a wage and benefits to have that timeslot cared for.
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May 4, 2021 20:47
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Pennsylvania going "open 'er up" on Memorial Day, with the exception of the mask mandate. Makes my decision about kicking the can down the road for preschool for the 3.5 year old from the June enrollment date to the September date slightly easier. Wife is at home, but the boy seems to have max Endurance, in summary:L0cke17 posted:I am very very tired.
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May 5, 2021 02:54
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space uncle posted:Just thinking about dropping affair/divorce news on a pregnant person 5 weeks before their due date makes my blood boil. If you’ve already lied and hidden your affair for two months, why don’t you just suck it up and lie for another 5 loving weeks? Why add stress to literally the most stressful situation a human can normally be expected to go through? ....in the middle of a global pandemic!
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May 5, 2021 09:33
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Any tips on waking/keeping awake a 2.5wk old infant while they feed? This girl is waking up every 45 minutes to eat because she’s ravenous but she’s hungry because she can’t stop falling asleep on her mom’s boob and it’s very difficult to rouse her. We could just use a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep! As an aside, our 3yr old walks around with his tongue out always like he’s Michael Jordan going for a layup and we have no idea why. We had family pics taken with baby and the ones he was in required a lot of creativity to get him to just smile instead of sticking out his tongue like he’s trying to catch flies. Zero idea where he got this.
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May 5, 2021 13:35
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life is killing me posted:Any tips on waking/keeping awake a 2.5wk old infant while they feed? This girl is waking up every 45 minutes to eat because she’s ravenous but she’s hungry because she can’t stop falling asleep on her mom’s boob and it’s very difficult to rouse her. We patted the feet and belly and head with a cool damp washcloth. Seemed to work for a few minutes of awake time usually.
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May 5, 2021 14:09
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life is killing me posted:Any tips on waking/keeping awake a 2.5wk old infant while they feed? This girl is waking up every 45 minutes to eat because she’s ravenous but she’s hungry because she can’t stop falling asleep on her mom’s boob and it’s very difficult to rouse her. We could just use a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep! Our girl is 3.5 weeks old. My wife pumps and we do bottle feeding, so I dunno if these will work as well for direct breastfeeding, but... We strip her down to her diaper. If she’s too cozy she falls asleep halfway through. We also do diaper changes right before feeding. She gets mad and worked up every time and that’s usually enough to keep her awake for a full feeding. If she’s still falling asleep then we resort to placing something cool on her body.
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May 5, 2021 15:01
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Koivunen posted:Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. I’m having a lot of moments of doubt if I’m doing the right thing by moving towards a divorce, but your comments are reinforcing that yes, I am absolutely doing the right thing. I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through this. It’s great that you can depend on your mom to help you. I hope you can get lots of help from friends and family. You’re going to be okay. space uncle posted:Just thinking about dropping affair/divorce news on a pregnant person 5 weeks before their due date makes my blood boil. If you’ve already lied and hidden your affair for two months, why don’t you just suck it up and lie for another 5 loving weeks? Why add stress to literally the most stressful situation a human can normally be expected to go through? As horrible as the situation is, would it really have been better for it to happen right after the birth? I can only imagine it would be worse. At least now she has a few weeks to prepare and get support in place before having to deal with a newborn. Being sleep deprived with the physical and emotional rollercoaster of being postpartum and having the rug of support swept out from under you like that would be unbearable. It really really really sucks, but it’s probably best for her that this wasn’t delayed any longer.
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May 5, 2021 18:54
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Apparently our baby's sleep issues are possibly that he's sleeping too much. Apparently we should be aiming for 10-11 hours at night and 1-3 hours during the day. Now that he has stopped growth spurting he isn't as keen on 12 hours straight at night any more
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May 5, 2021 23:09
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Food is really stressing me out these days. Our 17 month old has very poor eating habits - always throwing poo poo, refuses to eat without cartoons, and is a very picky eater in general. Trouble is that she’s always been a small baby and is always <5 percentile weight for her age. My wife is absolutely not on board with any of the usual solutions which revolve around ending the meal when they misbehave / don’t eat because she’s afraid she won’t eat at all then. We always fall back to one of her favorites that she will eat, hand feeding her if we must. It’s an unwinnable argument at this point so I guess I just need to find peace in this situation so mealtimes aren’t so stressful. I’m not sure what to do.
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May 5, 2021 23:59
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nachos posted:Food is really stressing me out these days. Our 17 month old has very poor eating habits - always throwing poo poo, refuses to eat without cartoons, and is a very picky eater in general. Trouble is that she’s always been a small baby and is always <5 percentile weight for her age. My wife is absolutely not on board with any of the usual solutions which revolve around ending the meal when they misbehave / don’t eat because she’s afraid she won’t eat at all then. We always fall back to one of her favorites that she will eat, hand feeding her if we must. It’s an unwinnable argument at this point so I guess I just need to find peace in this situation so mealtimes aren’t so stressful. I’m not sure what to do. Check out Feeding Littles? Basically we use the ideas proffered therein during mealtime. He’s done eating when he’s done eating, we teach him to say, “I don’t want that,” instead of, “I don’t like that”, dessert is served with a meal instead of being this mystical thing he only gets when he behaves and isn’t used in negotiations at all, and certainly not to make him eat all his food or a certain thing he doesn’t wanna eat. If he makes a mess so be it, we don’t make him feel bad, and we comment on how he eats his meals (like, “oh that’s really creative, dipping your apple slice in mustard!”) not whether or not he ate something or all of his food. They also say that sometimes with a new food, kids might not eat it but if they touch it that’s a good sign. Most importantly he’s not forced to finish his meals; again, when he’s done, it means he’s full. Overall, this has worked pretty well. It’s a video course with short videos you can tackle all at once or over time along with your developing food eater. There’s very little our son won’t at least try, and we have learned by now that toddlers don’t necessarily overeat; that’s a learned thing. If he doesn’t wanna eat something we just tell him this is his only opportunity to eat until the next meal so if he is hungry later it’s on him.
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May 6, 2021 00:26
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life is killing me posted:As an aside, our 3yr old walks around with his tongue out always like he’s Michael Jordan going for a layup and we have no idea why. We had family pics taken with baby and the ones he was in required a lot of creativity to get him to just smile instead of sticking out his tongue like he’s trying to catch flies. Zero idea where he got this.
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May 6, 2021 00:33
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life is killing me posted:Check out Feeding Littles? I am definitely on board with trying any and all of this. We do it here and there but very inconsistently. I just know that if we take a hard line then it’ll end up in our daughter basically not eating for a few days until she learns the rules. That’s a very hard thing to get past when she’s so small. She has places and foods that she will eat without issue. Yogurt is no problem, she doesn’t need cartoons and will eat a good chunk of her yogurt before the throwing begins. Today in her stroller she gobbled down half a peanut butter sandwich and string cheese. In her high chair that was an immediate throw. The more we put it back on her tray, the more she throws. So initially every piece of food that she doesn’t immediately take to will get thrown off the high chair and then we have to end the meal. nachos fucked around with this message at 00:51 on May 6, 2021 |
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May 6, 2021 00:47
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I always offer a "safe" food at meals, something I know she likes. We loosely follow feeding littles as well. If she doesn't eat much at a meal, I will offer a low value snack between meals - nothing she's going to hold out for because she likes it better. For us it's usually PB toast. That might be an option?
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May 6, 2021 00:55
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nachos posted:I am definitely on board with trying any and all of this. We do it here and there but very inconsistently. I just know that if we take a hard line then it’ll end up in our daughter basically not eating for a few days until she learns the rules. That’s a very hard thing to get past when she’s so small. Yeah I mean, I think the point of it all is to take the stress and pressure out of it for her, and thus you. And of course consistency is key. Tom Smykowski posted:Your 3yr old is cool as hell He is pretty cool, but he’s also a giant weirdo. That puts him in the majority, though. life is killing me fucked around with this message at 01:01 on May 6, 2021 |
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May 6, 2021 00:56
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Can anyone recommend a newborn tracking app for feeds and nappy changes? I've been using a notebook but missing entries all the time, whereas I've always got my phone on me ...
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May 6, 2021 04:35
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idgee posted:Can anyone recommend a newborn tracking app for feeds and nappy changes? I've been using a notebook but missing entries all the time, whereas I've always got my phone on me ... We use Baby Tracker but I’ve heard Huckleberry is a good one also. I have it but have not personally used it.
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May 6, 2021 04:41
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I can vouch for Huckleberry, but don’t bother with the paid features like a customized nap schedule based on your baby’s personalized data. That kind of thing only really makes sense if you’re sleep-deprived and desperate for something that will solve all your problems for just $15. (It’s me, I was that desperate.)
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May 6, 2021 04:53
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life is killing me posted:We use Baby Tracker but I’ve heard Huckleberry is a good one also. I have it but have not personally used it. I used baby tracker with my first and my second until I started using Huckleberry. Would definitely rate Huckleberry not just for tracking but also for suggested wake windows to make sleep easier.
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May 6, 2021 04:54
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Tried to do baby tracker, but bounced off each one HARD. We use our messaging app to just text each other the time of diaper changes, clothing changes, and feedings and bottle make times. We don't get fancy graphs, but we don't really look back so it's whatever. Helps.
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May 6, 2021 04:58
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I really liked Glow Baby. It’s free, and it displays sleep/ wet diapers/ Poo diapers/ breastfeeding time all on one graph page. You can also track height, weight, and head measurements that you get at your well child check ups and it puts them on the percentile curve, which is really nice to be able to see as they get older. I used it for the first couple months mostly to track breastfeeding time, but continued to use it through her first year to track growth. I talked to some lawyers today and have come to the conclusion that it’s probably in my best interest to wait to file, since the turn around time is 4-6 weeks, which is exactly when I’m going to be birthing this child. I’m not in a situation where rushing to file would benefit me over waiting a bit. Got lots of really good advice too, having the conversations definitely made it a lot less scary. Still very scary, but less. My friends came over tonight and helped with yard work, then we all hung out for the evening, my daughter had a blast and fell asleep immediately for the first time in weeks. I feel like I might actually be able to sleep tonight.
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May 6, 2021 05:13
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Huckleberry also lets you see everything on one chart, though we’ve given up tracking anything but sleep. The color representing pumping has been repurposed as a “put down in crib” indicator. Here you can see the utter chaos of the last month as our child frees herself from the shackles of daily naps.
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May 6, 2021 05:57
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Awesome, thanks everyone! Koivunen, you're amazing, and it's great that you've got friends who are looking out for you and your family.
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May 6, 2021 06:12
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wizzardstaff posted:Huckleberry also lets you see everything on one chart, though we’ve given up tracking anything but sleep. The color representing pumping has been repurposed as a “put down in crib” indicator. Here you can see the utter chaos of the last month as our child frees herself from the shackles of daily naps. We use Huckleberry, which is less helpful now that he’s on a more normal schedule. It’s very nice when you’re sleep deprived and can’t remember when the last time you fed the baby is. I like how that graph is “utter chaos”. Here’s the first week of a newborns life with sleep, nursing, pee, poo, and bottles all graphed 
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May 6, 2021 12:12
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Back on food chat real quick, our guy wasn’t a peanut but he is consistently around 20th percentile and was pretty picky until like 18 months and it just changed. He still has meals where he picks, but he just started demolishing his other meals in the day as opposed to it being a struggle Every. Single. Time. So a lot of the “is he eating??” Anxiety wears off (not all of it tho  )Also you’ll find around that age they quickly change and mature, so by 21 months now we are like “yea sure whatever he is a big boy now” and those infant-like worries just kinda phase. Either because they can communicate a lot more clearly, or you can clearly see it doesn’t bother them to be on the skinny side/miss a dinner.
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May 6, 2021 12:25
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wizzardstaff posted:I can vouch for Huckleberry, but don’t bother with the paid features like a customized nap schedule based on your baby’s personalized data. That kind of thing only really makes sense if you’re sleep-deprived and desperate for something that will solve all your problems for just $15. (It’s me, I was that desperate.) Huckleberry is making the entirety of the "sweet spot" nap prediction a paid feature now. I guess they didn't get enough uptake on their other attempts to make money. IMO while it isn't anything super special, just repackaged wake windows, it is totally worth the $2.50/month they want to not have to do that mental math constantly.
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May 6, 2021 12:29
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Crazyweasel posted:Back on food chat real quick, our guy wasn’t a peanut but he is consistently around 20th percentile and was pretty picky until like 18 months and it just changed. He still has meals where he picks, but he just started demolishing his other meals in the day as opposed to it being a struggle Every. Single. Time. So a lot of the “is he eating??” Anxiety wears off (not all of it tho This is reassuring to hear. Thanks for the tips everyone, I’m definitely going to check out Feeding Littles.
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May 6, 2021 12:49
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One day, one bright shining day i will be able to go a whole 24 hours where the only rear end i have to wipe is my own. Anyway. Our 18 month old has really been fighting going down for the night lately and I'm not sure if it's because we're letting him nap too long after lunch. He spends the whole afternoon running about like a maniac pushing around furniture and climbing the couch so it's not due to too much energy. He just doesn't go down until 9ish now which is over an hour later than his usual schedule. Is this just our new normal or should i only let him nap for an hour?
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May 6, 2021 14:31
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Had our second set of tubes put in today. Went swimmingly just like the first time. Also the ENT assured me (even though I didn't ask this time) that getting water in their ears during bath time has not been scientifically shown to actually cause ear infections. Also this happened at the brand new Sanderson Tower at Children's in Mississippi and drat being in a brand new hospital is amazing. It's all so high tech and bright and airy and clean and beautiful. In the elevator leaving (with our kid wrapped in a sheet because he's hilariously picky and didn't want clothes or a gown ever and only wanted the sheet and the docs let us leave like that) this woman was saying he was cute and wishes she could hold hers today but she's having brain surgery and won't be able to hold her for a long time.  loving perspective man.
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May 6, 2021 19:44
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3.5 year olds are wonderful. 1 year old just got some vaccines, and one of them gave him a fever. Day care's COVID policy is that if any of the siblings has a fever, it's it's 72 hours fever free until any of them can go back in. Told the 3.5 year old this, and she starts fussing and crying because she wanted to go to day care today. Flash forward 30 minutes, we call the day care to let them know and confirm that the policy is still in effect. They tell us that since the 1 year old was fine yesterday and we know he just had vaccines, our 3.5 year old can actually come in today. We give her the good news, and of course she starts crying saying she wants to stay home today.  edit: loving outstanding. Fever around 101.6 when he woke up this morning, took some tylenol and it dropped to about 100.5. Not a great sign, but better than nothing. Took a 4 hour nap, wakes up with a fever of 104.2. Doc says this isn't unheard of with the vaccine, and since there's no other symptoms just keep an eye on it and keep dosing with tylenol. Little dude is NOT happy... don't blame him. Should go down tonight if it was the vaccine, and anything over 102 tomorrow morning means we're taking a trip to the doc. DaveSauce fucked around with this message at 19:21 on May 7, 2021 |
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May 7, 2021 12:58
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We got a paper baby tracker for keeping track of feeding and diaper changes, especially for the first six weeks, but then lost track of that stuff. For the first 4-5 weeks it was really helpful, but stopped being religious about it in week 6 and I think we permanently lost it by week 8 Baby has started rolling over and hiding her eyes from the light with her hand to go to sleep on her own starting at about 6 months, after about 5 minutes of flopping about and grunting which is awesome A couple weeks ago I was complaining about how bad solid foods was going. Well two weeks ago it finally clicked with her and now she will suck down half of one of those applesauce packets, and is putting everything in her mouth always. Got a pizza at an outdoor cafe on Wednesday and she spent about 30 minutes sucking on the crusts, and then wanted to sample all of the toppings. She also tried to eat one of the succulent plants in the planter outside, but avoided the rosemary
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May 7, 2021 20:20
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Good lord, my kid has gone from 5 30 minute catnaps to 3 1-2 hour naps, and its an absolutely beautiful thing. Even while teething. He's a champ. Also discovered just how attached the little boy is to me. I was hospitalized from Monday-Thursday and apparently he slept like absolute crap. It's very sad, but also very heartwarming, since I had it in the back of my head that he wouldn't really know the difference between me and any other dude.
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May 7, 2021 22:07
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My kids have gotten into Lucas the Spider. https://m.youtube.com/user/joshuaslice
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May 8, 2021 00:13
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Alterian posted:My kids have gotten into Lucas the Spider. These are absolutely goddamned adorable
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