is there a pokemon you're glad doesn't exist?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > is there a pokemon you're glad doesn't exist?

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Khanstant

# ? May 10, 2021 03:31

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:18

Khanstant

Embezzlord, The Embezzling Pokemon

# ? May 10, 2021 03:31

Khanstant

Sisypuss, a ripped cat forced to roll a giant hairball up a mountain but it always rolls down into the nearest village and has to start over again the next day

# ? May 10, 2021 03:33

Khanstant

i forget it's name but the one that's like a long pig drinking milk from its own teets is still too hosed up, even after they removed the Star of David & Crescent pattern on it's forehead

# ? May 10, 2021 03:38

Khanstant

Upsy-Dizzy is a cute name for a pokemon but the whole concept of a pokemon that's a a camera on a walking cane has no place in polite society

# ? May 10, 2021 03:39

Khanstant

Polepot is admittedly the perfect name for a pokemon is essentially an anthropomorphic jar with a fishing pole sticking our of it... but that's just not okay

# ? May 10, 2021 03:41

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Cardi beedrill

lilitrump

Morrisseon

Megan Thee ponyta

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? May 10, 2021 03:44

Khanstant

Hangutang, like, the "Hangman's Pokemon" was never going to make it past the beta... but even so it was extremely poor taste to have the pokemon cry be the phone number of a journalist who gave the last game a bad review, especially in this era of dataminers who are always going to dig through cut content.

# ? May 10, 2021 03:51

Khanstant

Sepsister, I was excited for the MicroPokemon games, but I was expecting more Osmosis-Jones type fun -- Sepsis alone was a disgusting basis for a pokemon but what was Nintendo thinking when they combined that with a porn fetish thing??

# ? May 10, 2021 03:54

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Broodklan

A giant wasp whose head is covered by a conical hood.

# ? May 10, 2021 03:56

Khanstant

Rokyerixon, cool reference, but gently caress this pokemon for lookin exactly like a rock in every way. Made it impossible to get through some caves without starting a random battle every.single.step.

# ? May 10, 2021 03:59

FutonForensic

Orifist, Fighting/Hole type

# ? May 10, 2021 04:16

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

i don't know what a bellsprout is, but i would've GONE OFF if it had ended up in the game

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? May 10, 2021 04:30

biosterous

i'm glad there isn't a pokemon that's a dog that runs out of a house and bites your dick

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? May 10, 2021 04:54

wimsy

FutonForensic posted:

Orifist, Fighting/Hole type

# ? May 10, 2021 05:24

wimsy

biosterous posted:

i'm glad there isn't a pokemon that's a dog that runs out of a house and bites your dick

# ? May 10, 2021 05:26

wimsy

a pokemon that lives in incredible pain and cannot die, this is a pokemon i am glad does not exist

# ? May 10, 2021 05:27

wimsy

a pokemon, much like a human, in every way a human

# ? May 10, 2021 05:27

alnilam

wimsy posted:

a pokemon, much like a human, in every way a human

yeah Mr Mime is kinda hosed up

# ? May 10, 2021 05:50

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Somnambulicle - a chunk of frozen water that sleepwalks

# ? May 10, 2021 06:17

Khanstant

Roku - version exclusive pokrmon have always been kind of annoying, but a pokemon only available on Roku and the pokemon is called Roku, it looks like Roku... just too much advertising in one package. yeesh!

# ? May 10, 2021 06:48

super sweet best pal

A pokemon that sneaks into your house while you're sleeping and whispers the exact date of your death into your ear.

# ? May 10, 2021 11:23

Escape From Noise

Eckankar- The new religion (cult) Pokemon. Their spiritual home is in Chanhassen, Minnesota.

# ? May 10, 2021 11:28

Moo Cowabunga: [Office Worker.

Sandwich. The ground type Pok�mon.

Platinum User Pot Smoke Phoenix!

VANISHER

HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

# ? May 10, 2021 11:48

nut

my therapist: so...you�re happy that Daryl doesn�t exist?

me: doc what did I tell you about uttering his cursed name

# ? May 10, 2021 12:58

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

leeringmasturbatemon

# ? May 10, 2021 13:52

barnold: what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

Shitass

# ? May 10, 2021 14:01

wimsy

nut posted:

my therapist: so...you’re happy that Daryl doesn’t exist?

me: doc what did I tell you about uttering his cursed name

lmao

# ? May 10, 2021 14:13

wimsy

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul, the owl therapist Pokemon

# ? May 10, 2021 14:15

wimsy

Ash: sometimes I ask myself... Do I really want to catch them all?

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: Confused, I guess .I always thought it was my quest to catch them, but what if there's no such thing as a quest? What if life is just one pointless episode after another?

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: When you're a kid you think your parents know everything but then you grow up and you realize that the reason they acted like there was a meaning to life wasn't because they knew what the meaning was, it was because they were desperately trying to protect you from an abyss of meaninglessness that was grinding them down every second of every day.

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: But... Maybe that *is* the meaning? Maybe we don't make meaning for ourselves, maybe we make it for *other people* because we love them and care about them. Love *is* the meaning.

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: Amazing! Thank you so much. Boy, this therapy thing really works! I feel so much better!

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: That'll be $200.

# ? May 10, 2021 14:25

Flavius Aetass

Dikachoo, the sneeze-dick pokemon

# ? May 10, 2021 14:35

Finger Prince

Iriemon

# ? May 10, 2021 14:39

alnilam

wimsy posted:

Ash: sometimes I ask myself... Do I really want to catch them all?

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: Confused, I guess .I always thought it was my quest to catch them, but what if there's no such thing as a quest? What if life is just one pointless episode after another?

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: When you're a kid you think your parents know everything but then you grow up and you realize that the reason they acted like there was a meaning to life wasn't because they knew what the meaning was, it was because they were desperately trying to protect you from an abyss of meaninglessness that was grinding them down every second of every day.

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: But... Maybe that *is* the meaning? Maybe we don't make meaning for ourselves, maybe we make it for *other people* because we love them and care about them. Love *is* the meaning.

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: Amazing! Thank you so much. Boy, this therapy thing really works! I feel so much better!

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: That'll be $200.

# ? May 10, 2021 15:28

Heather Papps: hello friend

back in grade school i heard there was a secret 4rth starter pokemon that made your parents get divorced in real life. i'm glad that one doesn't exist (i was too much a coward to try the gameshark code do not confirm to me that this pokemon exists thanks in advance)

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? May 10, 2021 15:48

biosterous

wimsy posted:

Ash: sometimes I ask myself... Do I really want to catch them all?

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: Confused, I guess .I always thought it was my quest to catch them, but what if there's no such thing as a quest? What if life is just one pointless episode after another?

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: When you're a kid you think your parents know everything but then you grow up and you realize that the reason they acted like there was a meaning to life wasn't because they knew what the meaning was, it was because they were desperately trying to protect you from an abyss of meaninglessness that was grinding them down every second of every day.

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: But... Maybe that *is* the meaning? Maybe we don't make meaning for ourselves, maybe we make it for *other people* because we love them and care about them. Love *is* the meaning.

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul

Ash: Amazing! Thank you so much. Boy, this therapy thing really works! I feel so much better!

Owlduzzthatmakeufeeyul: That'll be $200.

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? May 10, 2021 17:35

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

I would be more glad if they all didn't exist, but contemplating all the possible pokemans that could exist and do not exist has given me perspective and made me appreciate that, while this may not be the best of all possible worlds, it is far from the worst of all possible worlds in which all of these pokemans itt would also exist.

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!