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Pam berates Jim for being so lazy with his pranks lately. Physical assault is so crude and unimaginative, plus he's been neglecting her romantically. Jim takes this advice to heart and spends the next week catfishing Dwight into sending him cash for airfare to Tijuana. Jim takes Pam and the two enjoy a lovely vacation on Dwight's dime.
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May 10, 2021 15:10
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| # ? May 17, 2024 16:26 |
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Jim will not shut up about how "great' Hulk Hogan is. For days it's all he talks about. Dwight, finally fed up after a full week of this, tells Jim that Hogan is "a racist piece of human trash" and that Hogan "deserves to die alone and unloved." With that, Hulk Hogan comes out of Michael's office. Jim dares Dwight to repeat what he just said, which Dwight does. Oscar, Stanley and Kevin stand up and clap in support of Dwight, who begins to unload on Hogan, declaring him to be a washed-up old man who showed his true colors and doesn't deserve to be on television anymore. Now the entire office except for Jim is supporting Dwight and begins booing Hogan and throwing garbage at him. Dwight begins dramatically pointing his finger at Hogan and demands he "Get the gently caress out of this work place" and that he "crawl back into his hole to die". Hogan, in tears, leaves the office to massive applause from everyone except for Jim. Michael then steps out and asks what all the cheering is about and Jim explains that Dwight "told Hogan to leave". Michael is almost in tears now, explaining that Hogan "invented the cure for cancer" and was going to share it with everybody thanks to Michael's negotiation skills. Dwight rushes to the window and sees Hogan pouring out a jar labelled 'CANCER CURE" into the storm drain, dejectedly. Jim smiles at the camera, smugly.
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May 10, 2021 15:20
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The Office wraps up its final season. The office workers bid goodbye to the documentary crew that has been their constant companion. Dwight and Jim's feud has blossomed into a genuine friendship and respect. Dwight has achieved his dream of becoming regional manager of the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch and he's fully actualized as a person. A happy ending for everyone. Crane shot away from an idyllic-looking Scranton. *The happy music cuts off in a sudden violin scare chord* Pam and Jim lean into the still frame of the cityscape. "He's got away from us, Jim," says Pam. "I'm afraid you're right, Pam," agrees Jim, regretfully. "Gone." The camera pans over to Dwight strapped in a dystopian torture-chair, his expression vacant and idiotic. Dwight quietly starts to hum the Bachianos Brazil Samba. His humming is gradually joined by the actual song playing over the credits as the camera slowly trucks back from Dwight's torture chair.
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May 10, 2021 15:24
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jim, towering over dwight, bites through the back of his neck with prosthetic stainless steel teeth
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May 10, 2021 15:30
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Having been physically, mentally, and emotionally abused by his coworker for a decade, Dwight is depressed and morose. He feels so alone; Angela has left him, his boss Michael barely conceals his contempt for him, and the HR manager Toby just shoves his complaints into a big box without acting on them. Nobody loves him, nobody cares. And yet he comes in to work, on time and prepared to give his time and effort to sell paper for a company that barely rewards him. He is poorly paid, treated badly, and has wasted the best years of his life slaving away to build profit for a company that treats him as a disposable cog. Dwight barely slept this past weekend, and he had to hustle to make it in punctually at 8:30 on Monday. He is, of course, the first person there. He waters the plants, he makes sure the water cooler has a new gallon of water, and he makes the coffee (which he doesn't even drink). Everyone else files in, brushing past him without a word. He can hear the whispered conversations from the break room: "My weekend was good!"... "Yes, we're thinking about a trip to Florida..." .... "I know, right? I wonder if he thinks about anything except paper!" "You're so mean!" .... Dwight spends his time calling customers, acting as the front line against their frustration and anger for issues like misdeliveries and late shipments, he soothes and manages their problems and remains calm while his clients vent their anger on him. Jim rolls in a little past 10:00, his uncombed hair and sloppy tie demonstrating the complete lack of care he holds for his job and coworkers. "Good morning, Jim." "Hey there, Dwight. Nice shirt!" Dwight pauses, takes a breath. He knows Jim is mocking his shirt. He's used to it by now. Dwight is not a wealthy man. He lives solely off of his salary as a B2B salesman, and most of his income goes to maintaining his family farm, which has been losing money solidly for decades. Dwight remembers the promise he made to his dying father to try to save the family legacy. The farm is the last and only proof that the Shrutes existed, and once Dwight dies, there will be nothing left. The rest of his time, money and energy goes to caring for his disabled cousin, Mose. "Thank you, Jim. I made some coffee when I came in, but it might all be gone by now." Jim's eyes flare and his nostrils widen like a bull seeing a red cape. Something about this innocuous statement made him angry. Jim takes it as a challenge. Maybe it's a reminder of the way he arrived hours late to work; maybe Jim is just looking for a reason to bully Dwight. "It might? It might?" Jim shouts, "Why don't you go and check, Dwight? Go and get me a coffee, like a good little worker!" Dwight opens his mouth to say something, but there is no reasoning with Jim. Not when he gets like this. Dwight sighs, pushes back from his desk, and goes into the break room. There is just enough coffee left to fill a single styrofoam cup. Dwight brings back the coffee and hands it to Jim, who takes a single sip, then immediately grabs a pen and pokes a hole in the bottom. Jim puts the cup on Dwight's desk, where coffee leaks out slowly, covering the entire thing with coffee. "No sugar, Dwight. I always take a sugar with my coffee." Dwight closes his eyes. He feels his heaving breath tearing through his chest, as he holds his sadness at bay. Dwight just barely keeps his ragged gasps from becoming sobs, he keeps control of himself in a world where he cannot control anything; his life, his world is spinning out beyond him. Is there any point to going on? Why keep fighting so hard, when nobody loves him, nobody cares? Dwight thinks of Mose, he thinks of his farm. They're relying on him. He has to keep working, trapped here. From the break room, Dwight hears Jim, "Hey, everybody! Dwight took the last cup of coffee and didn't refill the pot!!!"
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May 10, 2021 15:35
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Dwight becomes a titan and Jim decapitates him
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May 10, 2021 15:45
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Jim replaces all of Dwight's underwear with edible underwear, which slowly melts into a sugary mess over the course of the day.
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May 10, 2021 15:51
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Jim beats himself up in Dwight's office, and when people ope nteh door, it looks like Dwight was beating Jim. Jim walks out with a big severance check and a cart full of office equipment, which he uses to start a Fight Club. Also, Jim is just Dwight's alternate personality
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May 10, 2021 17:33
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Jim fastens SCBA gear to Dwight while Dwight is asleep. The SCBA apparatus is specially modified to be impossible to remove without a key only Jim possesses. Dwight is now completely dependent upon Jim to swap out his oxygen tank every thirty minutes or he will asphyxiate. Jim continually makes unreasonable demands Dwight must fulfill before Jim will agree to change tanks.
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May 10, 2021 23:20
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jim arranges for dwight to be mauled by a leopard
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May 10, 2021 23:25
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Jim sharpens the edge of a Frisbee to razor keenness, then challenges Dwight to an ultimate Frisbee match.
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May 10, 2021 23:30
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Jim attaches a car-bomb to the engine of Dwight’s car. Dwight realizes what happened just a second before his new wife Apollonia turns it on.
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May 10, 2021 23:36
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Jim and Pam make tender, yet passionate, love to Meredith
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May 11, 2021 02:34
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naem posted:Jim and Pam make tender, yet passionate, love to Meredith Meredith has to be taken to the hospital.
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May 11, 2021 02:37
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Unable to cope with the constant harassment Dwight idles his 1987 Pontiac Firebird in the garage and peacefully slips away. Of course being a suicide he immediately finds himself in hell being greeted by Jim who, sensing Dwight's will to live had crumbled, had taken a fatal dose of sleeping pills the night before so he'd beat him to hell. Dwight looks around in terror and sees all of his greatest fears, his most shameful, and painful memories shimmering and jiggling - forever encased in jelly.
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May 11, 2021 02:43
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Unable to cope with the constant harassment Dwight puts a pistol in his mouth and pulls the trigger. But Jim had already replaced the bullets with blanks that shoot delicious green jello into Dwight's mouth instead.
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May 11, 2021 03:02
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Unable to cope with the constant harassment Dwight slits his wrists in a warm bathtub. The bathtub is warm because Jim peed in it.
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May 11, 2021 03:14
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Unable to cope with the constant harassment Dwight steps off the ledge of the same building where his father killed himself. He crashes through the glass roof into a giant airbag where Jim is hosting a party in his honor. Jim, wearing a tuxedo, toasts him and hands Dwight a champagne flute.
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May 11, 2021 03:22
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Jim replaces the ketchup in the break room with red paint.
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May 11, 2021 15:49
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While visiting Meredith in the hospital Jim inserts a catheter into Dwight's anus.
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May 11, 2021 15:58
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Jim becomes a world-renowned heart surgeon before eventually giving into pseudo-science and a desire to be famous. He becomes a TV doctor, peddling quack cures and costing many more lives than he had originally saved as an actual surgeon. On one episode of his show he declares that the cure for cancer is "Dwight Schrute's delicious blood and organ meat", then smiles smugly at the camera before telling his audience to "have at it, folks". Dwight is chased for 19 days straight before finding a small amount of peace on a small island in the Great Lakes. As Dwight tries to get a moment of peaceful sleep a tiny crab walks up his chest, stops, and smugly looks at him. It begins pinching the air rapidly, and Dwight recognizes it as morse code. He quickly translates. GET IT? CANCER. CRAB. PRETTY FUNNY, RIGHT? Dwight smashes the crab with a rock and a green mist oozes from the carcass, smugly flying into the air.
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May 11, 2021 16:28
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Jim is executed for murder but comes back to life as Dwight’s bobblehead doll. He continues his killing spree, but now it looks like Dwight is committing the murders.
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May 12, 2021 01:44
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bored mediocre office worker Jim makes halfhearted attempts at jokes at his too-serious coworker Dwight’s expense in under to flirt with a schlubby receptionist Dwight is just doing the tasks their job requires well and largely oblivious there is no camera
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May 12, 2021 03:17
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Jim is unable to enjoy any intimacy with his wife, Pam, unless and until he has humiliated Dwight in some office prank earlier that day
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May 12, 2021 03:26
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Jim flips Dwight through the fourth dimension, causing Dwight to become laterally inverted and making it impossible for his body to process normal left-handed proteins. Though he eats and eats, he gradually starves to death in the midst of plenty.
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May 12, 2021 03:38
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Jim and Pam poop in a bucket, mugging the camera Dwight: “How, is that even a prank? I don’t-“
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May 12, 2021 03:39
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Jim buys young Dwight Mega Bloks and Rose Art Crayons for his birthday, but gives little Michael Legos and Crayolas
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May 12, 2021 03:42
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Dwight called his doctor and said to him "What's the most accurate measurement for weighing?" The doctor said "An underwater weighing test" And just like that, Dwight said "Yes. When can me and my coworkercan take it?" and the doc said "Today at 2pm." Dwight didn't bother taking a shower and neither did Jim too, so Dwight had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants...Ugh). Jim said "Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?" The doctor said "No." So Jim with his long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and Jim must enjoyed it..but Dwight didn't. Jim had to wear pants, so he enjoyed minutes of going underwater. Dwight didn't take a shower and Jim didn't too. Before Jim got into the tank, you see Jim 'pretend' to pull his hair into ponytails, but they don't. That's what Jim did.
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May 12, 2021 03:46
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Owlspiracy posted:Dwight called his doctor and said to him "What's the most accurate measurement for weighing?" The doctor said "An underwater weighing test" And just like that, Dwight said "Yes. When can me and my coworkercan take it?" and the doc said "Today at 2pm." lmao
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May 12, 2021 03:47
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Jim has an extra ticket to the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre minor league baseball game, right behind home plate and invites Dwight. Whenever Dwight is distracted or confused by the myriad of sights and sounds, Jim uses a razor blade to slowly cut the protective netting. The game is heated and in extra innings, Jim has aroused Dwight into a fury of standing and shouting at the players, coaches and umpires. A ball is fouled directly through the weak spot in the netting Jim has created and crushes Dwight's testicles. The last thing he sees before the darkness is the Kiss Cam on the jumbotron in center field, which features Jim, alone, smirking.
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May 12, 2021 04:34
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a sniper wounds mose but leaves him alive in an attempt to lure dwight out of his bunker. while dwight cowers in an agony of indecision, a gleam on the sniper's scope glints at the camera
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May 12, 2021 10:03
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Jim hides behind a corner then jumps out and says "Boo!" when Dwight walks past, causing Dwight to be startled.
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May 12, 2021 10:24
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Dwight starts listening to a new true crime podcast and begins to suspect that "The Floppy Haired Strangler" might be Jim. The only problem - the murders occurred in the 1970s, so there's no way Jim could have committed them. Dwight starts researching this on his own and finds unsolved murders dating back almost 200 years, all seemingly linked. The descriptions of suspects include a "smug man", a "prankster fellow with foppish hair" and "a gentleman named James who seemed aloof and distracted". Dwight finally stumbles upon his smoking gun while perusing the library archives, an etching from 1612 depicting "The great long-legged killer", who looks exactly like Jim and is shown dragging a man into the woods while smugly grinning. Dwight takes a photograph of this etching, at which point the lights go out in the library. Dwight quickly moves to the front door but finds it locked and the library deserted. Dwight hears a loud scratching noise coming from the children's reading room and quickly hides under a table, frantically texting Michael to call 911 for him. The scratching grows louder and nearer, and Dwight sees someone in khaki pants dragging a pair of hedge clippers on the ground. The figure is getting closer and Dwight, desperate, rushes out from under the table and starts running. He glances back for a second and sees Jim, red-faced and panting, running after him and brandishing the hedge clippers like a giant pair of scissors. Running to the second floor, Dwight temporarily loses Jim and calls 911 himself. Nobody is answering due to a "high volume of calls" and Dwight sees police lights out the window all over Scranton. He hears a muffled explosion in the distance and Jim bursts into the room, screeching like a banshee. A desperate Dwight runs and jumps out the window, aiming for the bushes in a desperate attempt to pad his fall. As he falls he sees Jim leap out of the window behind him, still holding onto the clippers. They both fall with a thud and Dwight stands up unsteadily, checking himself for injuries. He's fine and turns his attention towards Jim, whose clippers are now wedged firmly into his stomach. Dwight asks Jim what he is and why he did it. Jim simply replies "Because you're my best friend." A heavy rain starts falling and the sirens are getting louder as Dwight sits there in silence. When the police show up later they explain that somebody "in a disheveled office outfit" cut the power to Scranton. Dwight motions towards Jim's corpse to say "here he is", but the body is gone, along with the hedge clippers.
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May 12, 2021 13:30
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It's Dwight's birthday. When Dwight blows out the candles on his cake, he instantly ages 100 years in five seconds, mummifying before the very eyes of his horrified coworkers. Jim mugs the camera.
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May 12, 2021 16:05
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Jim reheats a piece of salmon in the microwave and tells everybody it was Dwight.
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May 12, 2021 16:24
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim reheats a piece of salmon in the microwave and tells everybody it was Dwight. Your finest work in this thread yet
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May 12, 2021 17:29
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dwight stands at a public urinal, shaking out the last few drops. snaking bonelessly around the hapless dwight with unerring speed and precision, jim pins dwight's penis to the porcelein using a knitting needle
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May 12, 2021 18:22
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jim. Dwifght
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May 12, 2021 18:43
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Jim uses a fourth level spell slot to cast Summon Monster and conjures forth a gelatinous cube that entraps and digests Dwight
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May 12, 2021 18:44
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| # ? May 17, 2024 16:26 |
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When Dwight absentmindedly mutters, “I wish I were the richest man in the world,” Jim immediately jumps onto his desk and claps his hands. Dwight changes places with Bill Gates and is inundated with harassing phone calls and paparazzi demanding details about his divorce and connection with Jeffrey Epstein
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May 12, 2021 20:04
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