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I found out how the guy I do support work for is stealing from me. So a brand new pair of my son’s shoes went missing when he left my house once, I made out that I thought it was someone else, but we both knew it was all because I refused to share the apples from my own tree that were for my boy. Since then I’ve been “helping” him with bags and still stuff has been going missing, three Swiss Army knives, a RBS card reader (looks like a calculator) mini’s enormous scarf and my leatherman just vanished, but there was no way he could have snuck the scarf out. Moved the book case next to the chair he sits in and the back had been pulled off, behind that was the scarf and the leatherman - he must have stashed them there hoping to retrieve them later. Anyone know where I can get patio slabs from a place which has one of those vans that can lift pallets?
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May 14, 2021 16:42
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enjoyed your day in manchester 99? https://twitter.com/seananstee/status/1393116935970246659?s=20
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May 14, 2021 16:49
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hemale in pain posted:Do we have a time frame for that? Like do we gotta do it in a week It’s over a year. Frankly I think it’s really irresponsible reporting. Pubs are under enough pressure as it is, as asking people to cut down from the last year is poor form.
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May 14, 2021 16:59
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New fudge alert! I’ve now done a restock of Vanilla, Salted Caramel and Lemon Meringue Pie, and added several new or returning flavours from last year! New arrivals are: Whisky and Candied Ginger White Chocolate and Raspberry Vegan Biscoff All available at https://www.fudjit.co.uk now! As always, use the goon code ‘roastbeefisbest’ to get five-for-four! All fudge is sold in slabs of approx 100g at £3.50 per, plus postage. And as an additional note, I just dropped off a large shipment at my first retail stockist ever. So if you happen to be in northern Shropshire you may well see my goodies on shelves next week 
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May 14, 2021 17:07
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How's it shipped, royal mail?
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May 14, 2021 17:39
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Camrath posted:All fudge is sold in slabs Hmmm slabs you say. How many bodies can one fit under one of these "slabs"?
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May 14, 2021 17:49
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approx 1 mouse
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May 14, 2021 17:53
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oh no computer posted:How's it shipped, royal mail?
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May 14, 2021 17:53
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i've ordered some, please don't doxx me ordered extra unicorn barf as it's a mate's child's 5th birthday next week
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May 14, 2021 18:08
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Jose posted:enjoyed your day in manchester 99? maybe that person had diarrhea and had to go in to go in toilet
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May 14, 2021 18:10
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when i see people speeding or running traffic lights i usually assume they have diarrhea
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May 14, 2021 18:11
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if i were a judge and someone came in my court and said they were speeding because they had diarrhea i'd just let them off with one of those driver education courses and also recommend they see a medical doctor if they offentimes get diarrhea
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May 14, 2021 18:13
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crispix posted:maybe that person had diarrhea and had to go in to go in toilet that's when you put your "I've parked like a oval office" lights on
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May 14, 2021 18:25
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if i was on that tram and the driver ran out of the building and came into the tram and apologised for causing the obstruction and explained they had urgent diarrhea i would understand
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May 14, 2021 19:00
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you're good people crispix
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May 14, 2021 19:09
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I'm neither a tram driver nor a traffic warden so I dunno what this has got to do with me.
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May 14, 2021 19:25
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Meat Wagon posted:you're good people crispix he knows the trials of The Runs
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May 14, 2021 19:25
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Just been out for a few beers with some of the guys from work. I'd forgotten how much I missed that sort of thing. Just chilling on a street with ten different pubs on it and hundreds of people celebrating their Fridays together. I REALLY hope this Indian variant fucks off and doesn't spoil everything for us.
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May 14, 2021 19:30
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Making homemade bbq sauce and this poo poo contains like 99% sugar. I should definitely put less sauce on everything.
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May 14, 2021 19:44
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Meat Wagon posted:you're good people crispix if i had been a king back in them days they would have remembered me as king crispix the clement, i would have spared invaders the wrath of my might armies for their incursions in my territory if they said they only did it because they were caught short with diarrhea and had to use the facilities
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May 14, 2021 19:52
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and a lot of people had diarrhea back in them days and people even died from diarrhea in them days because they didn't have dettol or immodium
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May 14, 2021 19:52
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crispix posted:if i had been a king back in them days they would have remembered me as king crispix the clement, i would have spared invaders the wrath of my might armies for their incursions in my territory if they said they only did it because they were caught short with diarrhea and had to use the facilities battles must've been v gross back then people just getting their bowels cut open all over the place. dying cos you stood on someones intestine/guts/blood/mucus and slip and smash your head
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May 14, 2021 19:56
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Front page of the Bristol Post: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-throws-whole-strawberry-cheesecake-5413570
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May 14, 2021 19:59
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"Abrupt and inexplicable."
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May 14, 2021 20:00
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one of the tables in the workshop at work has DIARRHOEA lovingly stencilled in big letters down one side of it because the guy it belonged to suffered from it all the time but could never remember how to spell it for the self-certify sick note things
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May 14, 2021 20:48
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just say the runs imho
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May 14, 2021 21:14
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I dream of a bit of diarrhoea tthese days, so bunged up for so long
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May 14, 2021 22:50
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Pistol_Pete posted:Front page of the Bristol Post: this entire article was based on a reddit post lmao i loving hate the bristol post
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May 14, 2021 23:01
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Camrath posted:New fudge alert! Ordered! First time ordering so done a big mixed bunch
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May 14, 2021 23:35
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:ROMANIAN IMMIGRANTS are ABDUCTING THE QUEEN'S SWANS to PROTEST ABOUT PALESTINE Where did you find this magnificent picture?
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May 15, 2021 00:06
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Fudge has been purchased.
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May 15, 2021 04:43
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Bit of a grinder mishap yesterday, need new trousers
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May 15, 2021 09:09
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NotJustANumber99 posted:Bit of a grinder mishap yesterday, need new trousers It's spelled grindr
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May 15, 2021 09:28
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What’s with this weather eh lads
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May 15, 2021 10:13
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swans on twitter are an endless source of amusement https://twitter.com/thelincolnite/status/1391347223963881473 the swan is healthy and has been released. it has a nest now
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May 15, 2021 10:25
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I'm very hungover. I vaguely remember running around the cliffs hunting for the 6 missing Guineafowl in the rain. I also think I wrestled the turkey back into the barn. We failed to escape the Dark Castle again and I broke my new guitar tuner by dropping in in my beer  12h smoked pork shoulder was fantastic with brioche buns and dirty fries
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May 15, 2021 11:12
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But how is the chock?
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May 15, 2021 11:13
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Had my second jab today, decided I felt well enough after my surgery last week.  Bafflingly they've booked my first hearing "rehab" appointment as a virtual one, despite the fact that my implant won't have been activated yet. I assume they are planning on telling me a load of stuff I already know plus more "expectation management" in advance of switch-on day.
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May 15, 2021 15:57
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Lol but I hope it all goes well
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May 15, 2021 16:09
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As a parrot owner I can tell that swan did that sock thing to it’s own dumb self and the police haven’t done the smallest bit of research into bird behaviour. Birds will just play with found objects or, more likely it chased someone and stole the sock and then did a stupid. I have had to remove toilet rolls, both empty and full, from around an angry parrot’s head more times than I care to remember. Few weeks back Derbyshire police spent a day searching for “base jumpers” who were in fact the two parachutists minding their own business we watched doing a low pass over the Tom Cruise set.
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May 15, 2021 16:54
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