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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:Kids didn't ask to be here, they don't owe their parents a drat thing. 
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May 25, 2021 14:36
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Only for things like who was going to have to go fetch tea from the kitchen.
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May 25, 2021 14:39
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Yeah parents who fo the guilt thing and act like their kids owe them for existing and make them deal with things much earlier than they should have to instead of being kids, well, that is exceptionally lovely parenting. “Well, I know you didn’t ask for this but here’s the world and it’s harsh and it sucks, you’re welcome for being here now do what I say”
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May 25, 2021 14:47
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Aha, this is making a lot of sense. The way my mom phrases it is "I raised you but I could've chosen not to, so you owe me for having raised you/paid for your food and school/housed you/cared for you for 18 years", so I was genuinely wondering if I do, in fact, owe her. The weird thing is my dad doesn't say any of this poo poo and I am totally fine with helping him out when he gets old, because he doesn't make me feel like poo poo. I'm just loving terrified of having to do the same for my mom when the time comes because she's been pressing this poo poo since I was born, and didn't want to be an rear end in a top hat with double standards.Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:Kids didn't ask to be here, they don't owe their parents a drat thing. This is really nice to hear.
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May 25, 2021 14:53
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Lieutenant Dan posted:Aha, this is making a lot of sense. The way my mom phrases it is "I raised you but I could've chosen not to, so you owe me for having raised you/paid for your food and school/housed you/cared for you for 18 years", so I was genuinely wondering if I do, in fact, owe her. The weird thing is my dad doesn't say any of this poo poo and I am totally fine with helping him out when he gets old, because he doesn't make me feel like poo poo. I'm just loving terrified of having to do the same for my mom when the time comes because she's been pressing this poo poo since I was born, and didn't want to be an rear end in a top hat with double standards. That's your key word. She CHOSE to have you, so she chose to take on the responsibility in that matter. She is the one who has a responsibility to you to have provided you with those things (plus love, support, comfort, etc). It's not a loan, it's a commitment. You didn't chose squat. You don't owe her squat.
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May 25, 2021 15:06
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you don't owe them poo poo, those are things they are supposed to do, by default. that's the bare minimum.
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May 25, 2021 15:10
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Think about it this way. I put off getting a dog for 19 years even though it was the thing I wanted most in life because I wasn't ready to give a dog a good life with minimal stress and maximum opportunity for dogfun. If I had gotten a dog as soon as I could, I would have had to surrender it because I needed to move a lot. That would've been irresponsible of me so I delayed. Sounds like a lot of parents run into the store and impulse buy a Macaw and immediately act like it's the Macaw's faul for destroying everything with the can opener on its face (that is its only way to interact with the world). That's why I was given up. Lmao turns out babies cry a lot and sometimes for no discernible reason. 16 year old mom couldn't deal so my grandparents just passed me off as a late baby until they felt I could understand that I was adopted.
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May 25, 2021 15:23
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I think this in part is due to the fact that reasonable people expect goodwill to he reciprocal-we do someone a favor, we hope they'll pay it forward later in some way. We treat someone with respect, we want them to respect us back. And when those feelings don't get reciprocated, it can leave us feeling cheated in some way. These dysfunctional parents are just projecting their misplaced disappointment onto their kids. The way I see this manifest a lot is with divorced parents; one parent is involved in their kid's life, makes time for them, puts the kid's needs above their own etc. And the other is a deadbeat, puts zero effort, picks fights, doesn't contribute, is emotionally unavailable to the child, etc. And yet for various reasons the kids side with the flaky parent sometimes. This can really screw with the hardworking parent, who might feel their effort should be reciprocated more and it can be hard for people to take the high road in those situations.
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May 25, 2021 19:08
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Chances are the parent they're stuck with is poo poo and the 'flaky' parent provides an alternative and escape from their bullshit
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May 27, 2021 05:44
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So, I was the one that sided with the flake. I don't really know why. When I got older I was lucky enough to spend time with the good one before he passed. In hindsight it all seems so stupid but since now I have a good life with an awesome family it seems like a toss up honestly.
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May 27, 2021 05:50
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It's hard work and dedication to be a good parent. Even in ideal situations you have to take the high road for the sake of your child. Add in divorce, poverty, health scares, etc and it's even worse. But it's really fuckin easy to be a bad parent. In fact you don't have to do anything! Literally. In the case of divorce drama what often happens is the flaky parent spoils the kid through passive actions. They'll buy them stuff, they won't give them any boundaries, they will make a lot of empty promises, they'll foist any actual responsibility on the other parent through feigned ignorance, and so on. The other parent ends up having to do all the actual parenting; consistently enforcing boundaries, maintaining a budget, following through on commitments, and supporting their child emotionally. To a 7 year old the flaky parent can seem a lot more appealing. They seldom get told 'no', they get whatever they want, they don't have to worry about finishing their homework, they can eat chicken tendies every meal, spending time with that parent feels fun . Most of the other parent's contributions are thankless in contrast; the one that reminds their kid its time for bed, don't forget to finish your homework, no you can't eat fifteen marshmallows before dinner, etc.
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May 27, 2021 13:26
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Mormon Nailer posted:My parents tell me things like "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it" in that laughing but serious voice. That's not okay. My father would tell me how lucky he doesn't beat the poo poo out of me the way his father beat the poo poo out of him while beating the poo poo out of me.
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May 27, 2021 13:58
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someone sent all of my posts complaining about boomers to my mother lol. the rejected parents are coming from within the forum seriously though whichever creep is reading my post history knock it off. and its its you mom i posted this in the correct thread for you. please read this entire thread
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May 27, 2021 14:10
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Rutibex posted:someone sent all of my posts complaining about boomers to my mother lol. the rejected parents are coming from within the forum Dude is someone seriously doing that?! Gotta be your mom or you’ve been doxxed...right?
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May 27, 2021 14:12
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life is killing me posted:Dude is someone seriously doing that?! yup i just got a furious email from her about "my posts on that forum". I'm hoping its not a goon cuz that would be seriously creepy and i want my mother to have paid $10 to read my posts
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May 27, 2021 14:17
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Rutibex posted:someone sent all of my posts complaining about boomers to my mother lol. the rejected parents are coming from within the forum what the flying gently caress
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May 27, 2021 14:18
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Rutibex posted:yup i just got a furious email from her about "my posts on that forum". I'm hoping its not a goon cuz that would be seriously creepy and i want my mother to have paid $10 to read my posts I'm so ultra super glad that my mom and I, at the start of the social media era, both looked at each other and said "I'm not following you" at the same time.
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May 27, 2021 14:20
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Rutibex posted:yup i just got a furious email from her about "my posts on that forum". I'm hoping its not a goon cuz that would be seriously creepy and i want my mother to have paid $10 to read my posts JFC is nothing sacred? Whoever it is I hope they get found out and perma’d
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May 27, 2021 14:42
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Decent chance it was someone from the rejected parents forum. They know about this thread and they're the ones who are big mad about it. The question is if any of them are internet-aware enough to dox (I don't know how good/bad your opsec is)
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May 27, 2021 14:46
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i like nice words
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Literally A Person posted:So, I was the one that sided with the flake. I don't really know why. When I got older I was lucky enough to spend time with the good one before he passed. In hindsight it all seems so stupid but since now I have a good life with an awesome family it seems like a toss up honestly. We're the non-flake family. It loving sucks sometimes. Oh cool you went to bed whenever, didn't do any of your homework and ate trash for a week. Sorry kid, you can't play tonight really because you need to catch up on your homework now, ah I see you're not taking this well because you're an overtired carbloaded crackhead currently. Yes, this is all great. Very normal.
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May 27, 2021 15:01
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Rutibex posted:someone sent all of my posts complaining about boomers to my mother lol. the rejected parents are coming from within the forum Jesus fuckin christ dude, I'm so sorry  I just check and GBS isn't paywalled right now which doesn't help the matterAnne Whateley posted:Decent chance it was someone from the rejected parents forum. They know about this thread and they're the ones who are big mad about it. The question is if any of them are internet-aware enough to dox (I don't know how good/bad your opsec is) Very cool and normal non-stalking behavior from these folks
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May 27, 2021 15:15
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Oh what the gently caress we get it you hosed up your kids lives via your behaviors, leave others alone
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May 27, 2021 15:29
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Rutibex posted:someone sent all of my posts complaining about boomers to my mother lol. the rejected parents are coming from within the forum What the gently caress.
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May 27, 2021 15:35
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Anne Whateley posted:Decent chance it was someone from the rejected parents forum. They know about this thread and they're the ones who are big mad about it. The question is if any of them are internet-aware enough to dox (I don't know how good/bad your opsec is) there's no loyalty among goons, we'll let anyone in if they stump up the cash. :bourgeoisie: Buy a name change and post more. I only recognise posters by their red text anyway.
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May 27, 2021 15:37
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What the gently caress???
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May 27, 2021 15:37
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I wonder if there's a sister thread to this one on the RP forums. That's seriously weird that someone would get doxxed like that.
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May 27, 2021 15:37
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Does this thread need to come behind the paywall in e/n? I would hope not as it's better in GBS but if there's a real security concern I want goons to feel safe.
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May 27, 2021 15:39
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Anne Whateley posted:Decent chance it was someone from the rejected parents forum. They know about this thread and they're the ones who are big mad about it. The question is if any of them are internet-aware enough to dox (I don't know how good/bad your opsec is) what the gently caress
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May 27, 2021 15:39
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If it’s for security I’m fine for it being in e/n. Also lol the RP forum is not accepting new members so I’m thinking a nerve has been hit. All this for parental failings. Lord
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May 27, 2021 15:40
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teen witch posted:If it’s for security I’m fine for it being in e/n. I just went there too to see what the deal was and it’s just a major LOL. I read one of that utterly batshit woman’s blogposts and one of the first sentences was “most parents have done nothing to be rejected by their adult children.” Pure distilled delusion.
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May 27, 2021 15:44
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Moving this to e/n won't change much. The psycos and narcissists who spend days combing every post history for dox can just buy an account and continue creeping. Nothing will stop these people, it's the core of their being. ed: but if it makes people feel safer, let's do it. it won't hurt either Dongsturm fucked around with this message at 15:51 on May 27, 2021 |
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May 27, 2021 15:47
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The worst thing is these RPs will never be capable of the introspection required to really analyze their words and actions in order to self-realize, “Wow, I have really hosed up and the problem is with me, not my adult children.”
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May 27, 2021 15:57
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jfc rutibex, that's horrible
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May 27, 2021 16:12
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Actually I found this video might help parents understand where we’re coming from
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May 27, 2021 16:14
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Anne Whateley posted:They know about this thread and they're the ones who are big mad about it. ha, die mad
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May 27, 2021 16:17
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Sucks for rutibex (as much as your own mom saying "hey I read all those things you wrote about how much I suck rear end" can suck) but it's definitely very funny that there are some rejected parents out there trolling the web for evidence their children don't like them. Like you're basically going to die alone because of how bad you suck and you spend your time looking for evidence of the people that know you best talking about how bad you suck. Like that's going to get you unestranged from those very people or something. Lmfao, die alone, and hurry it up please
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May 27, 2021 16:25
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I don't think that's what happened? I imagine their referrer logs showed a ton of hits coming from this thread, they came to see what it was, and got mad there was a thread created to make fun of them
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May 27, 2021 16:27
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StrixNebulosa posted:Does this thread need to come behind the paywall in e/n? I would hope not as it's better in GBS but if there's a real security concern I want goons to feel safe. yes yes it does: Rutibex mom posted:It must be very difficult for you being so perfect. How on earth do you go on living in a world with such imperfect people in it! And no as smart as you think you are you don’t need to pay money to read those forums. The whole world can read exactly what you think of me and your family. Hopefully you are lashing out because you are embarrassed I found and read all that garbage.
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May 27, 2021 16:31
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Anne Whateley posted:I don't think that's what happened? I imagine their referrer logs showed a ton of hits coming from this thread, they came to see what it was, and got mad there was a thread created to make fun of them Regardless of the little details, it's very funny that the estranged parents are getting a glimpse at how their children talk about them when they're not around and they're mad at it. "Oh wow can't believe my OWN SON who cut me out of his life because (his words) I don't respect his privacy or self-determination is telling people that I don't respect his privacy or self-determination?? What the hell?"
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May 27, 2021 16:32
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Rutibex posted:yes yes it does: you should show her your posts in the original no mans sky thread
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May 27, 2021 16:33
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