buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

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Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

Janitor Ludwich IV posted:

finally cum is back on the menu

what the gently caress is it doing with its arms

has the artist ever seen a human

# ? Jun 6, 2021 15:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 16, 2024 07:41

Armitag3: Mar 15, 2020; Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

I'm the TBA Mystery Announcement that is certainly not running away with the money.

# ? Jun 6, 2021 15:18

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

SubG posted:

tumblers don't work well for hiding poo poo because nobody actually uses bitcoin for anything. the overwhelming majority of "bitcoin transactions" are just twiddling numbers in exchanges' lovely mysql backends or whatever. people don't actually do anything with bitcoin by actually, you know, just using bitcoin. and even if they do they're not going to bother to use a tumbler to do it. so there's not a huge volume of legit traffic that's just routinely passing through tumblers that an illicit transaction can hide in.

so if you're trying to hide that you're moving coins from point a to point b, the fact that you spend a dozen transactions shuffling your feet between a and b doesn't really help hide anything. if there was way more volume and/or if there were way more places you could use as point b (like if you were just diffusing the coins into a bunch of random addresses and leaving them there, instead of having to get them to the small number of exchanges where you can use them to get cash/whatever out of the system) it might work. as it is it's fairly easy to spot because someone moving a bunch of coins like this is either a) a scammer/thief moving the proceeds of crime, b) a miner/exchange, or c) all of the above.

Even if they were they'd still be amazing prosecution futures.

"So you passed this through a money laundering unit and then withdrew exactly the amount you put in"
"No I was laundering my money for completely unrelated crimes I mean wait"

And that's ignoring that half of them are probably honeypots anyway.

# ? Jun 6, 2021 15:26

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/acczibit/status/1401517222896492544

# ? Jun 6, 2021 15:45

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/acczibit/status/1401517222896492544

https://twitter.com/acczibit/status/1401519319524253703?s=21

Holy poo poo hahahahahaha

# ? Jun 6, 2021 15:52

KnifeWrench: May 25, 2007; Practical and safe.; Bleak Gremlin

Alan Smithee posted:

https://twitter.com/acczibit/status/1401519319524253703?s=21

Holy poo poo hahahahahaha

I kind of hate myself for knowing enough to get this

# ? Jun 6, 2021 16:31

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Alan Smithee posted:

https://twitter.com/acczibit/status/1401519319524253703?s=21

Holy poo poo hahahahahaha

if elon doesn't already walk around with a full-time security team he might have to start as some very unhinged people are getting very mad at him

# ? Jun 6, 2021 16:34

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

KnifeWrench posted:

I kind of hate myself for knowing enough to get this

# ? Jun 6, 2021 16:35

njsykora: Jan 23, 2012; Robots confuse squirrels.

The_Franz posted:

if elon doesn't already walk around with a full-time security team he might have to start as some very unhinged people are getting very mad at him

he's a rich nerd, he probably doesn't go outside much at all

# ? Jun 6, 2021 16:45

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

it came from the reddit relationships thread:

The Bramble posted:

My [40F] daughter's [15F] cryptocurrency club is creating problems at our church

quote:
My family has been part of our church for several generations. My husband and I have been blessed with five children, and our whole family loves being involved in spiritual life.

A few months ago, my oldest daughter Hadley started a cryptocurrency investment club at the church. It's grown rapidly as members have become interested in investing and saw the club's results. I'm proud of Hadley's entrepreneurial spirit and leadership skills.

A few days ago, our pastor approached me concerned that Hadley's club is not in line with the church's values. He told me that she needs to shut it down.

In truth, our pastor is worried about Hadley stealing his thunder. I'd love to point out his hypocrisy and remind him how he initially loved the idea and said it would increase younger members' involvement in the church. But there's no room to push back because I'm applying for a leadership position in the church mother's ministry, and I need his support.

I want to guide my daughter towards phasing out the group, but she doesn't have enough money to pay everyone back. She's been doing so well with the club that cash has never been a problem, but if she shut down immediately, she'd owe thousands of dollars that she can't repay.

Closing the club in this way would create a huge scandal. It would definitely jeopardize my chances at the mother's ministry and could create legal headaches for me even though I've had no involvement with the club at all.

I asked Hadley to get a job to make up the difference, but she's gotten the idea that investing is her life path. She wants to earn the money by starting a TikTok about investing, but I think she needs to get over this cryptocurrency phase altogether.

How do I convince my daughter to give up this cryptocurrency stuff and that she's not too good for babysitting?

TL;DR - Daughter's cryptocurrency investment club has gotten out of control, and I want her to get a regular

From the comments:

quote:
I don't know a lot about cryptocurrency, but I know she's relying on new membership to help pay for earlier members. That way, even when her investments are down, she's still able to make a profit for club members.

I appreciate your suggestion about the burden this is creating for me, but this is my family, and it's my responsibility as a parent to figure this out as a family.

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:03

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

My 40ft daughter's 15ft cryptocurrency club is creating problems at our church

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:07

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Sagebrush posted:

it came from the reddit relationships thread:

this has everything

without even looking at the reddit replies i'm guessing there are a slew of "LADY YOUR DAUGHTER IS RUNNING A PONZI SCHEME PEOPLE GO TO JAIL FOR THIS". the club not being in line with the church's "values" is the minister getting worried that people will lose their money to this kid instead of giving it to him

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:09

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Boxturret posted:

My 40ft daughter's 15ft cryptocurrency club is creating problems at our church

yeah that particular syntax they use is kinda irritating but it's required in the subreddit because otherwise you get a LOT of stories with a conspicuous lack of ages.

stuff like "my wife of 8 years says she isn't happy in our marriage" and then the ages turn out to be 43m/25f

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:11

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Boxturret posted:

My 40ft daughter's 15ft cryptocurrency club is creating problems at our church

I didn�t know they stacked shitcoin that high

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:20

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

The_Franz posted:

if elon doesn't already walk around with a full-time security team he might have to start as some very unhinged people are getting very mad at him

Can you imagine the stories they'll tell to explain why Elon being assassinated for abandoning bitcoin is actually good for bitcoin?

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:21

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

The_Franz posted:

this has everything

without even looking at the reddit replies i'm guessing there are a slew of "LADY YOUR DAUGHTER IS RUNNING A PONZI SCHEME PEOPLE GO TO JAIL FOR THIS". the club not being in line with the church's "values" is the minister getting worried that people will lose their money to this kid instead of giving it to him

This is Reddit, it's 25% "This is a Ponzi scheme", 25% Reddit Athiests smugging it up, 25% "Stop getting in the way of your daughter going to ~~jail~~ the MOON", and 25% doing the last two simultaneously.

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:25

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

ultrafilter posted:

Can you imagine the stories they'll tell to explain why Elon being assassinated for abandoning bitcoin is actually good for bitcoin?

well elo is now an enemy of coin so he deserved it and it should act as a warning to those foolish enough to reject the light of satoshi

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:25

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

The_Franz posted:

this has everything

without even looking at the reddit replies i'm guessing there are a slew of "LADY YOUR DAUGHTER IS RUNNING A PONZI SCHEME PEOPLE GO TO JAIL FOR THIS". the club not being in line with the church's "values" is the minister getting worried that people will lose their money to this kid instead of giving it to him

It's helpful that it came from the creative writing thread

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:31

njsykora: Jan 23, 2012; Robots confuse squirrels.

I was gonna say, aren't 95% of r/relationships posts just bullshit people make up specifically so they get screen capped and shared around?

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:36

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

Boxturret posted:

My 40ft daughter's 15ft cryptocurrency club is creating problems at our church

Mods name change to "MY 40FT DAUGHTER"

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:41

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

ultrafilter posted:

Can you imagine the stories they'll tell to explain why Elon being assassinated for abandoning bitcoin is actually good for bitcoin?

If someone assassinates Elon I will buy into bitcoin as a thank you.

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:44

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

probably good for elon that all of the bitcoin assassins on the darkweb are actually cops

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:46

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

attack of the 50ft blockchain, part 2: revenge of the 40ft bitcoin daughter, by :gerard:

# ? Jun 6, 2021 17:52

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

njsykora posted:

I was gonna say, aren't 95% of r/relationships posts just bullshit people make up specifically so they get screen capped and shared around?

You think that takes liberties lemme show you Brazil.txt

# ? Jun 6, 2021 18:01

Tom Clancy is Dead: Jul 13, 2011

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

wasn't the whole bitcoin tumbler/mixer thing basically just theatre because given sufficient time you could back trace it all anyway? And assuming you wanted to get the funds out, it would all converge right back into addresses you owned, making the whole exercise pointless.

"oh this 2 million dollars in tethers received in a thousand blocks of transfers ? No no that's completely legitimate"

There isn't any legitimate traffic to hide it in so it's basically "If you mix all the dirty money together they can't tie it to one specific crime!"

# ? Jun 6, 2021 19:20

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Sagebrush posted:

yeah that particular syntax they use is kinda irritating but it's required in the subreddit because otherwise you get a LOT of stories with a conspicuous lack of ages.

stuff like "my wife of 8 years says she isn't happy in our marriage" and then the ages turn out to be 43m/25f

oh that new probation avatar is cool

# ? Jun 6, 2021 19:55