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Josherino)
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Ball Tazeman posted:The world is too much, it literally feels like the end is around the corner and people are just acting like things are normal???? Nah, I'm kinda living so that I might keel over dead suddenly in the next 20-30 years instead of making it to what used to be "retirement age" because I will never be able to save enough to live much longer than that and also my house on the FL Gulf Coast might be swallowed by the sea by then. I got no wife, no kids, no interest in either. Nobody will miss me when I die other than whatever cat I happen to own at the time and my employer (because of the paperwork). I talk to my sister like 5-6 times a year. My dad is playing with house money since his Stage IV lung cancer diagnosis two years ago, along with his blood sepsis infection right around that time because someone hosed up a biopsy. It's fine. I will do enough work to get paid enough to exist and play video games badly and get various foods delivered to me by gig drivers. If I get a promotion and raise I might go play poker more at the dog track or the horse track or the Seminole casino. Maybe I will bet more on football if my state really does legalize sports betting. Fill your time with what you want to do.
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Jun 11, 2021 05:12
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Monowhatever posted:I don't know how people deal with pets dying. Our oldest family dog (12.5) was diagnosed with lung cancer about a week ago. She was given about a month to live. I've been spending as much time as I can down at my mom's to spend time with both her and the dog. She's still eating, drinking, and getting up on her own. She pretty much only moves to go to the bathroom or move to one of her favorite spots. this is part of why I don't own any dogs at the moment despite really liking dogs a lot (the other parts being "I do not have a house with a yard and don't expect to, ever" and "I am liable to do something irresponsible like quit my stable job to try and do something I don't hate for a living instead") a few years ago my mom's dog vanished in the woods (we think she was probably killed by a coyote) and that was loving awful, and it wasn't even a dog I lived with!
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Jun 11, 2021 05:32
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DoubleDonut posted:this is part of why I don't own any dogs at the moment despite really liking dogs a lot (the other parts being "I do not have a house with a yard and don't expect to, ever" and "I am liable to do something irresponsible like quit my stable job to try and do something I don't hate for a living instead") I had French Bulldog that passed away from Thyroid cancer a few years back - it still fucks with me. Our German-Shepherd/Lab is now 9, and I've thought about dipping my toes back into the puppy world for her, but I'm terrified of experiencing the loss all over again.
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Jun 11, 2021 17:04
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I was roped into going to an amusement park over the weekend. Myself and all the people I know are vaxxed, but there were no masks in sight at the park. Was a bit disturbing how normal things were. The person that roped me into it is a good friend but also a brunch lib, and I live in the Midwest, so denialism is frickin' everywhere. Apparently I'm not as afraid of heights as I used to be, because gently caress it we're boned anyways.
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Jun 11, 2021 18:40
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skaboomizzy posted:Nah, I'm kinda living so that I might keel over dead suddenly in the next 20-30 years instead of making it to what used to be "retirement age" because I will never be able to save enough to live much longer than that and also my house on the FL Gulf Coast might be swallowed by the sea by then. Oh hey, a post I can really relate to. You're all right in my book, skaboomizzy. But as a BTW, your username really sounds like something Bill Cosby would have said. Is that where you got it?
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Jun 11, 2021 18:47
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:10 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Jun 11, 2021 20:34
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I saw my general practitioner about the vertigo that started after beginning lamictal. Sounds like it might be due to dehydration, which isn't surprising. I wake up feeling hung over, even though I'm not drinking alcohol. I had blood drawn, so we'll see what else they find. My blood pressure is OK, and I could lose about 20 pounds before I'm really trim again. I got some good advice on diet, too. I've been vegetarian for 2-3 years, and it's a bit hard to avoid starch. I think I've done a decent job reducing it, but I need to look at my saturated fat intake too. I drank a ridiculous amount of fluid after my visit, and I feel physically a lot better. I don't know if I'm going to be able to continue this medication, because I was already drinking a lot of water before today. Feels like I can't drink enough to tide me over while I sleep. My mood has been better. I think being on a mood stabilizer is good for my mood. It's just frustrating that they all seem to have bad side effects. I don't feel the extremes as much now, which is a relief. I saw a very upsetting video recently, and it made me very angry. I was able to work through it, though. I saw my therapist a few days ago, and she mentioned that my psychiatric nurse practitioner didn't think the lamictal was causing dizziness. I think the link is pretty obvious, and my general practitioner will talk to my psychiatric one about it. I basically use this thread as my journal now, and I'll read my posts to my therapist. I tried to read my recent post on anger and relationships to her, but I didn't have a good internet connection on my phone. I don't think I captured the message well. I did mention that I get really upset when I don't think someone is showing enough empathy for others, which is ironic because I might not be showing much empathy for the people I disagree with. I was a bit rankled when my therapist mentioned that we view many things as black and white when we're younger, and we see the grey area more as we age. I know seeing nuance is important, and it is useful to grow as a person. I just think ~nuance~ can be used to excuse lovely political actions. It felt a bit like she was associating maturity with centrism. If anything, I've been viewing many issues as more black and white as I grow older. I realized that a lot of excuses for lovely behavior simply don't hold up. I'm going to strive to be more understanding of how people arrived at their conclusions, but I'm not going to pretend that arguments against human rights have any value.
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Jun 11, 2021 20:55
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petit choux posted:Oh hey, a post I can really relate to. You're all right in my book, skaboomizzy. But as a BTW, your username really sounds like something Bill Cosby would have said. Is that where you got it? It is a mash-up of two previous usernames I had back in the 90s.
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Jun 11, 2021 21:26
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my now wife and I got cats and dogs around the same time. we just had to put our youngest cat down (14 years) a few weeks back. now the dogs weve had since they were puppies are going downhill fast from a degenerative nerve condition in one and colon cancer in the other. another cat of ours is a rescue who may be as old as 19. i think 2021 is gonna be torture for us on the pet front and i think im going to need a while before we get another dog. poo poo is heartbreaking
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Jun 11, 2021 23:41
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yeah I think have terminal CSPAM brain and it’s not good and I need to step away from politics and news for a while.
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Jun 12, 2021 01:52
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been there, my friend! that and truly unstoppable drinking lost me my last relationship and got me into therapy which I will say saved my life. I think the internet is a net negative but that's a discussion for outside this thread. If you can, talk to a brain person and if you can't it might be time to rekindle old friendships.
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Jun 12, 2021 03:36
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Like, the world is a gently caress and it’s in the process of getting worse and ending so I need to figure out how I’m going to structure my life to deal with that. or maybe I should pretend nothing is wrong like everybody else.
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Jun 12, 2021 04:09
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goons I need a bit of non-judgemental advice/support here. my fiancée is in a bad spot emotionally/mentally. she has a history of mental illness (she was hospitalized in 2014 for psychosis but has been pretty much completely healthy since then until about 2 weeks ago). a couple of weeks ago we had an argument, which I thought was extremely weird, but basically she was saying I was an rear end in a top hat to her when she was in the hospital and when she studied abroad in France in 2010 and when she was hospitalized (I wasn't or at least wasn't intentionally, I don't think she remembers a lot about her hospitalization and I don't really bring up poo poo she did when she wasn't thinking clearly). but we made up that day. the next morning she wakes me up at 6 AM (which meant she didn't sleep all night, and hadn't been sleeping much the days prior due to finals loving up her sleep schedule) and says she's going to get breakfast. she texts me later that day and says she's not coming home for a while. this struck me as odd and so I called her therapist (we had previously agreed that I could do this if I was concerned about her mental wellbeing). her therapist got a hold of her and said she's fine she's just worried about our relationship. I'm like okay, still concerned but we can deal with that when she's ready. a couple of days later the therapist calls me back and says that I was right to be concerned, her condition had worsened she was having complex paranoid delusions but the therapist talked my fiancee into checking herself into the behavioral health unit at our local hospital, although I did not have permission to reach out to the unit (which again was odd). fast forward to wednesday and her brother calls me and says that she had checked herself out of the unit and was with them and was not doing well. confusion, paranoia, etc. I gave them the best advice I could and we'll see what we can do in the morning, just try to be supportive of her and keep her comfortable. yesterday she texts me and says she's going up to her campus job (she's a teaching assist at the university), I ask if she's doing ok over text and that I'm worried about her, she says she's okay and that's all. I try calling but it goes right to voicemail. I managed to get ahold of the professor she works under and I give him my phone #. He calls me and gives me the run down of some pretty intense and disturbing things she's saying and her thoughts are not connected, she's racing from one thought to the next, she's quite agitated, etc. pretty clearly she's under psychosis. her brother and sister in law go up to campus to try to talk to her, although I say only the SIL should talk since she thinks her brother is trying to have her killed. the other professor she works for texts me and says that she's in his office and basically she'll only talk to the SIL and a police officer. I've been talking to the therapist (since I have some reservations about someone with a mental health crisis talking to a regular rear end beat cop) who advises if the cops are involved to make sure there's a social worker present or the cop is trained in handling this kind of thing. the cop shows up and they, my fiancee and the SIL talk. they convince her to go to the ER after filing a police report (what's in it I have no idea, probably nothing that makes any sense) and they finally end up at the ER. presumably while at the ER she calls me and is loving livid, calls me a self-absorbed piece of poo poo, tells me to gently caress myself, tells me to quit making her car not work (it runs it's what they drove to the police station and the ER and she has it now) and quit making her card not work (she has the card from our joint account that still works). the SIL goes home and my fiancee texts her professor saying she checked herself out of the ER and is going to a hotel for the night although they don't know which one. finally, she calls me again and this time she's calmed down and wants to see me (it's been like 2 weeks since I've seen her), she tells me where she is and I go visit her (I bring her some clothes too since she's been wearing pretty much the same thing since she left). she's still upset and not able to maintain a thought but she's not as agitated. she says she loves me but she wants to see other people but she also misses me and wants to come home soon because she misses our dog and cat (she said she was going to stay the night at the hotel and she was prescribed a sedative so she was ready to finally sleep). I'm not currently really sure what to make of that since she's not thinking clearly but I think this is something to deal with later. she tells me she's going to call her therapist on friday (today) and also do the follow up with her psychiatrist that she was supposed to when she checked herself out of the hospital on wednesday. there's also an intensive outpatient psychiatry program she wanted to do today as well. we talk a few minutes longer and I leave when she's starting to fall asleep. I text her brother and therapist today to see if they've heard anything from her and she's not returning anyone's texts or phone calls, no one knows where she is. so I go up to the hotel about 2 pm to see if her car is there and thankfully it is. I manage to talk to her for a few minutes and remind her to call her therapist and her psychiatrist which she says she'll do. I ask what she did today and she says "I don't know" which is her way of telling me she doesn't want to say, which is fine it's not super important relatively. She said she was going to stay at the hotel again tonight, and she hasn't been lying about stuff like that so I do believe her. I go home because I have to finish working. I text her again this evening to see how she's doing, no response. I call, no response. Her therapist says she called but she missed the call and didn't leave a message, so the therapist calls her back and there's no response. Although I did get a text from her professor saying she was on campus and she just cleaned the labs but seemed less agitated today but she was ignoring calls from her therapist. So that's where we are right now. I am at a loss as to what exaclty I can or should do next. Part of me wants to tell her she can come stay at home because it will be safe and she'll have our pets to keep her company, but she needs a level of care that I am completely unable and unqualified to provide. What she needs is to be in a behavioral health unit, but she's adamant she's not going to a hospital. There's the outpatient service but she hasn't made contact with them yet. Part of me wants to let her just stay at the hotel until she like gets so tired of it she finally does what she said she'd do a bunch of times already (by that I mean get professional help, she's definitely not like suicidal or anything). That seems cruel to me but like there's no way I can bargain or reason with her into getting help. And being around her 24/7 when she's in this state is really loving tough, I did it in 2014 and I lost like 10 lbs because I wasn't eating due to stress and worry. And that only resolved because she ended up wandering around town at 4 AM yelling at construction workers until they called the cops and she had no idea where she was or what year it was and was hospitalized. The hardest part with all of this is that her behavior is so much different than what it typically is. She's the sweetest most loving person I know and dealing with this is like dealing with a complete stranger. it loving sucks poo poo right now. anyway thank you for reading this poo poo. e: I feel weird posting this personal poo poo and it feels inappropriate but whatever. I've reached out to friends who have been supportive but idk I feel like I can trust the truly cspam brained because I am one spacemang_spliff has issued a correction as of 05:39 on Jun 12, 2021 |
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Jun 12, 2021 05:32
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Hats off to you for being so supportive of her. When someone is in that state, unfortunately there isn't much you can do to get through to them. It sounds like the best place for her is in a psychiatric facility, but you're running into a problem that many family members of peers (people with mental health diagnoses) have dealt with. At least in the USA, if you can't prove that they're an immediate threat to themselves or others, then you can't have them forcefully put in a facility. This leaves a lot of peers in limbo, where they're not bad enough to be held in a facility, but they're not healthy enough to function well. Many places simply don't have enough beds to go around, too. I highly recommend connecting with your local NAMI. It's not just for peers. Most of the active members of my local NAMI are family members of peers. They have support groups specifically designed for family members, a warmline for people in non-emergency situations, and even a class for family members called Family to Family https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Mental-Health-Education/NAMI-Family-to-Family. My personal experience is being a peer with Bi-Polar II, but you might be able to find people who have gone through the same thing you are going through at your local NAMI. Many services are online due to covid, also. You don't need to be local to a branch to receive support. Talking to family members of peers, and taking classes, will give you tools to communicate with peers more effectively. She can take classes when she is in a better state, too. There's one called Peer to Peer https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Mental-Health-Education/NAMI-Peer-to-Peer. There are also other classes available, like WRAP https://mentalhealthrecovery.com/. WRAP is a great program that helps someone prepare for their next emergency. This involves identifying warning signs, and sharing them with people close to them. It involves coping mechanisms, and many other useful things. When peers take these classes, they also meet other peers for mutual support. Getting friends and family involved in someone's recovery is a HUGE deal. I highly recommend contacting your local NAMI (if you're in the states), which can be found at https://www.nami.org/findsupport. They can provide all kinds of support to friends and family members. I don't want to speculate about or grill you on her diagnosis or meds. I'm hoping this is a temporary situation, which she'll get through with your continued support. Just keep in mind that there's support for you, too. A lot of my suggestions involve preventative measures, which aren't immediately useful. However, they may help with future challenges. Good luck, and feel free to PM me.
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Jun 12, 2021 06:35
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Thanks that is super helpful. I was able to find a NAMI family support group in my area that's meeting a week from tuesday. I'm going to go to the meeting
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Jun 12, 2021 16:14
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good looking out for yourself while you're doing so much for your partner. ive heard nothing but good stuff about nami
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Jun 13, 2021 00:03
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The nami advice is spot on and if I were you I would dive head first into that for a very long time. The fusion to your partner is really profound. If you have the funds or insurance you need to find your own therapist as well. Not just to deal with the stress of your partner's episodes but to get a better understanding of your own story which I get the feeling has been put on the backburner. Also, it's always within your rights to call a PET team if you feel she is a danger to herself or to you or to others. You don't have the power to put her in a hold, the PET team comes and they make that determination. It's nice because it takes the agency off the initial caller and you don't have to blame yourself if she is put in a hold. The last thing is, you have the right to not be with somebody for whatever reason. If they don't want to get professional help or they don't want to cook dinner on Sundays. It doesn't matter, you have that right. Good luck and let us know how things go.
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Jun 13, 2021 18:32
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A follow up to this. Bella died this morning. She went out on her own terms, and she was with someone she loved and that loved her. She was loved and lived a good long life. RIP bella you were such a good drat dog. I'll get a picture over in the pets thread later if anyone wants to see it.
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Jun 13, 2021 20:03
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There is nothing worse on earth than watching someone you love have a schizophrenic-type episode and knowing that there is nothing you can say or do to snap them out of it. You're not alone in your experiences or feelings and you have my full sympathy and support, for whatever it's worth.
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Jun 13, 2021 21:31
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:10 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Jun 13, 2021 23:49
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nikosoft posted:There is nothing worse on earth than watching someone you love have a schizophrenic-type episode and knowing that there is nothing you can say or do to snap them out of it. You're not alone in your experiences or feelings and you have my full sympathy and support, for whatever it's worth. thanks, I appreciate it. this is a good thread 
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Jun 14, 2021 01:55
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Monowhatever posted:A follow up to this. Bella died this morning. She went out on her own terms, and she was with someone she loved and that loved her. She was loved and lived a good long life. i hope she rests in as much peace as she lived with as much love
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Jun 14, 2021 03:59
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Monowhatever posted:A follow up to this. Bella died this morning. She went out on her own terms, and she was with someone she loved and that loved her. She was loved and lived a good long life. Definitely wanted to extend my condolences your way - I hope these next few weeks are kind to you.
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Jun 14, 2021 16:20
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The climate change thread wrecked my mental health today. I read it in the morning, instead of my usual meditation practice - so kicking around at the base of my thoughts that day was: you will die of starvation or cancer before you turn fifty while homeless or worse probably worse definitely worse, you know... except probably sooner because specific points in my insides have been hurting nonstop for the past year? I don't know. I'm loving terrified of the future. I have to stop reading c-spam entirely, I think, because I've kind of realized that goons like to reach a consensus and dance around it and their ego instead of you know actually providing insight into the topics, for the most part. I mean, A+ for attitude, this world and human society are loving disgusting in it's present configuration, I agree otherwise I wouldn't be here but while I'm here I'm learning maybe 10% of the time and the rest just getting my mind filled with absolute loving poison.
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Jun 15, 2021 06:20
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I have to regulate my C-SPAM intake. I honestly can't handle the climate change thread. There are many issues where I see some small hope of turning things around, but I just don't see it with climate change. I've reduced my daily rotation of threads I read to this thread and a couple others. I find it helpful to do a little bit of self-care afterward. At the bare minimum, I'll look at a few posts in one of these 2 threads: #blessed pics https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3847325 Cute Thread https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3769444 There are other things I do in my life to cope, but sometimes it's too much and I need to cut it all out for a while. As an update, I'm drinking a ridiculous amount of fluid to handle the dehydration from my Lamictal. It's really helped with the dizziness and lightheadedness. I don't have any more vertigo. I still feel crummy and dehydrated a lot, but not to the extent I did before. I need to call the lab about my recent blood test to get the results. I'll see my psychiatric nurse practitioner soon and I'll decide if I want to continue with this medication. My dad has a long commute, and essentially lives out of his van during the work week. We've been working on it for a couple years now. He always has something he wants to do to it, and I don't think he'll ever be finished working on it. There's never really any satisfaction of a job well done, because the job is never done. I'm not a professional mechanic by any means, but I've been working on vehicles with him most of my life. I can handle quite a few tasks, but it feels like it's never quite good enough for him. The current job was supposed to take 2 days at most, but it's going to be 4 days running as of tomorrow. I made a suggestion very early on in the process that would have saved us a bunch of work, but he dismissed it off-hand. I don't like doing I-told-you-so's. Standing up to him can lead to weeks of passive-aggressive behavior from him. I mostly just do my best to let it go, and the mood stabilizer is making that more manageable. It's going to be 107F tomorrow, and we'll be in the sun for the hottest hours of the day. I feel sorry for him, because he has had a number of health issues that make things more challenging. He recently had surgery on his arm, so he needs me to do the heavy lifting. The van is nonfunctional until we finish the job. I'm just venting here, but I'm more than a little bitter. Most of this work was completely unnecessary. He starts losing his temper with me over minor things. Often times, I'm doing a task that is entirely new to me. I try to learn as fast as I can, but it takes time to master skills. Depending on his mood, he has very little tolerance for my learning curve. If I stop to ask for clarification, sometimes he gets upset. If I make a minor mistake, he gets upset. He has a tendency to cut corners on safety, too. I feel like I have to anticipate what he wants to do in order to safely prepare myself. I remember how angry he got when I asked him to stop pointing his butane torch at my arm between brazing copper pipes. I remember him cutting into a pipe I was holding, and laughing when he sprayed my unprotected face with sparks of copper. My dad will retire soon, and that van will transition from a work vehicle to a recreational vehicle. I feel obligated to contribute to things that help the family, but I'm going to feel a lot less obligated when that van becomes just another hobby. He acts like I need to contribute to his hobbies, when he's been derisive of everything that interests me. He dismisses my input and my safety. He has repeatedly made it clear that he doesn't care about my mental health. We almost loving died due to him ignoring my advice on a mountaineering trip when I was 17. I'll never forget warning him that I didn't think the campsite he chose was safe, and he responded that he "only wanted to hear constructive criticism." Soon after, he was buried under rocks. He was lucky to escape with contusions and a broken spine. Again, I'm not a fan of I-told-you-so's. I never called him out on this, but it would have been nice if he had learned something from the experience. Tomorrow, my NAMI group will meet in person for the first time in 15 months. I'm looking forward to it. My dad's project has just put a damper on things, but I know I'll get through it. EDIT: We got the bulk of the work done this morning, and it's only a mild 97F out! The van started just fine. My dad listened to my input today, and was very sure to point out when he thought I did a good job. I think we were both in a better mood as we saw the job coming to a close. I had talked to my mom about my dad dismissing my input. Sometimes she passes things like that on to him. It seems more effective coming from her. I know we both care about each other. It's just a shortage of respect. I'm looking forward to my NAMI meeting today. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 19:43 on Jun 15, 2021 |
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Jun 15, 2021 09:02
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sort of a weird question, since this process is still pretty new to me overall. is it possible for meds to stop being as effective over time? I've been on the same dose of zoloft for about a year and a half and I've noticed the "nothing makes me feel happy" feelings creeping back in. and just general not caring about things like I was just a few months ago. Anyways, can that happen?
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Jun 15, 2021 18:42
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:10 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Jun 15, 2021 19:19
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Not only that, but fun new side effects can appear over time! I found it challenging to track symptoms versus side effects over time, especially on multiple medications. Keeping a journal, and making obvious markers for each dose change helps. You can ask your psychiatrist to reduce a medication a bit, and see what happens.
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Jun 15, 2021 19:40
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Consummate Professional posted:sort of a weird question, since this process is still pretty new to me overall. Yes and with Zoloft I hit the maximum dose and it just stopped working eventually. Tapering down from that to nothing while dealing with the resurgence of my depression was not fun
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Jun 15, 2021 20:13
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Consummate Professional posted:sort of a weird question, since this process is still pretty new to me overall. You can gain tolerances to certain medications. Talk to your doctor.
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Jun 16, 2021 02:30
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thanks everyone! I'll make the phone call tomorrow.
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Jun 16, 2021 04:56
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I have to regulate my C-SPAM intake. I honestly can't handle the climate change thread. There are many issues where I see some small hope of turning things around, but I just don't see it with climate change. I've reduced my daily rotation of threads I read to this thread and a couple others. I find it helpful to do a little bit of self-care afterward. At the bare minimum, I'll look at a few posts in one of these 2 threads: Hey I just wanted to say that I know exactly(probably) how you feel. I started working for my dad doing general contracting when I was 16 and reading your post gave me flashbacks to incredible emotional uncertainty and frustration, my dad did all the same poo poo: leave me with little to no instructions to get something I've never done before; and have to get it right the first time, no patience for anything going wrong at all, would never own up to being wrong or acknowledge when I was right, etc. I like my dad and he is a really good guy; he just doesn't have the emotional toolbox to deal with these personal issues and we would argue a lot, usually I was just upset that he was acting like an rear end. We worked together for over 10 years and I have to say he is a lot better now but there will always be aspects of your parents that are fixed points and will just have to learn ways to live with it if you can. Our relationship improved immensely after I left to start my own company.
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Jun 17, 2021 01:36
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Seatbelts posted:Hey I just wanted to say that I know exactly(probably) how you feel. Thanks for that. I love my dad, and I know he loves me. He does quite a bit for me. I think the best way to fix the relationship would be to get some distance between us. In the meantime, I feel like I'm handling triggers much better now. In better news, I had my first in-person NAMI support group meeting in 15 months. It was great, and 16 people showed up. A couple of the more conservative attendees made some noise about requiring masks. Most of us are vaccinated now at this point, and I think our county mask mandate has been relaxed. I know the cloth masks and poorly worn surgical masks aren't even very effective. We can probably stop requiring masks, but it feels weird to do so when I'm partially responsible for everyone else's safety. I'm feeling more stable now, and I'm hoping to take on more responsibility through NAMI or other local organizations. I may re-enroll in a class on grant proposal writing soon. My mood tends to improve in spring, and worsen in the fall. With covid winding down a bit, and my better mood, I feel like things will improve.
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Jun 17, 2021 02:30
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Goddamn I feel like dogshit.
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Jun 17, 2021 13:03
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Oolb posted:The climate change thread wrecked my mental health today. I read it in the morning, instead of my usual meditation practice - so kicking around at the base of my thoughts that day was: you will die of starvation or cancer before you turn fifty while homeless or worse probably worse definitely worse, you know... except probably sooner because specific points in my insides have been hurting nonstop for the past year? I don't know. I'm loving terrified of the future.  Doesn't help that there are a few pretty malicious people posting now and then, and a few of the biggest posters are professional or aspiring writers looking out for material, or spooks, American and otherwise. They have an agenda, and it's not always helpful. But that notwithstanding, just contemplating the evil people driving these times is enough to throw you into despair if you look into the dark too much.
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Jun 17, 2021 16:38
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petit choux posted:
It's fun to go dig up the 2007 era peak oil threads. Not at all because climate change itself is comparable to peak oil but just because you can see how long goon apocalyptic religion has been what it is. Right down to finding some of the same people posting the same predictions in the same language. Climate change is real and is bad, but reading those old threads and seeing the same cast makes it way more obvious some people have an outcome they are "hoping" for and are just working backwards on how each new crisis that happens could make that real.
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Jun 17, 2021 17:37
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:09 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Jun 17, 2021 19:01
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I just think that a lot of LF and FYAD bleeds over into other forums a lot. And as said above, ego issues. And agents for the CIA and KGB and so forth posing as regular posters.
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Jun 17, 2021 19:19
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Living alone sucks. Cooking for one sucks. Paying 100% of monthly rent and utilities sucks. Having no family sucks. Spending the vast majority of the past 16 months without in-person human interaction sucks. I've not had a holiday, birthday, vacation, or special event in years. I sit and look at the walls. Sometimes play music or videogames. Alone. Sucks.
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Jun 17, 2021 21:09
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 05:05 |
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No. 6 posted:Living alone sucks. Yeah, it does. Been there. Still there to some degree. Which is why I spend so much time up here. So as Bowie said, you are not alone.
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Jun 17, 2021 21:27
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