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Josherino)
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Sorry to say that Bowie is cancelled. A man in his 40s cannot have a 3-some with two underage people (one 16 and one 15) and remain an icon. While the victims publicly shared they do not feel negative (in regards to the experience), a crime still occurred and Bowie abused his power.
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Jun 17, 2021 21:52
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No. 6 posted:Sorry to say that Bowie is cancelled. A man in his 40s cannot have a 3-some with two underage people (one 16 and one 15) and remain an icon. I think that's probably one of his lesser offences really. I've got mixed feelings about cancelling an artist's work because of their sins though. My goto for that is either Gustav Klimt or TH White, author of Once and Future King. Every one of the beautiful models in Klimt's paintings probably died later of the syphilis he carried, and White's bio notes include that he couldn't resist boys, just imagine a stately college dean loving his students, why I never. Oh, and how about the father of modern computing, Alan Turing and his thing for public bathroom sex w/ strangers. It goes on forever.
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Jun 17, 2021 22:09
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Enjoy the art, but let's make sure not to elevate those who don't deserve it.
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Jun 17, 2021 22:11
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No. 6 posted:Enjoy the art, but let's make sure not to elevate those who don't deserve it. A great, but very biased movie about Bowie, Velvet Goldmine. Highly recommended, if you can take it with a grain of salt. ED: very, very biased. Extremely biased. ED2; And a big, big grain of salt. Big grain. petit choux has issued a correction as of 22:20 on Jun 17, 2021 |
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Jun 17, 2021 22:15
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I know I'm the weirdo for still wearing my mask at drive throughs and stuff but as long as I see em on workers' faces I'm gonna keep wearing it because I'll be hosed if I'm gonna let that poo poo turn into a class signifier without fighting it. I'm really angry basically any time I'm not whacking off or playing video games because this world is broken. I've been clicking on Youtube Shorts on my phone instead of sleeping and it's an endless parade of sexy idiots saying The World's Stupidest poo poo. I'm fine I'm just ornery but my world is very small right now and most of what I bump into from Outside is just absolute trash and it makes me want to hide more and not do anything.
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Jun 17, 2021 23:47
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I do the same. Solidarity is important.
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Jun 18, 2021 00:16
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Solidarity, brothers! Actually I started wearing my mask again this week because I'm not sure the epidemic is finished with us.
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Jun 18, 2021 00:18
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I've been off meds for months. I practically eliminated alcohol from my diet. I still feel awful most days. Some days worse than that too. I'm trying to have hope, but it feels like faith. You know, a lie we tell ourselves to feel better. My life is empty and I feel broken.
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Jun 18, 2021 01:48
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Turned 30 today. Started out alright, then began to have bad vibes while at work. Now I feel like useless sack of poo poo with no friends. poo poo sucks.
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Jun 18, 2021 02:30
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No. 6 posted:I've been off meds for months. I practically eliminated alcohol from my diet. I still feel awful most days. I can't advise you when I don't know your individual situation, but I can tell you that creating something, however simple, is always uplifting for me.
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Jun 18, 2021 02:31
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Ball Tazeman posted:Turned 30 today. Started out alright, then began to have bad vibes while at work. Now I feel like useless sack of poo poo with no friends. poo poo sucks. Hey ball tazeman, are you spending much time in cspam these days? Is there still a Trump thread? I had to GTFO, it was making me crazy. Happy birthday, you little poo poo! You and me are in the same boat, you may not have friends but you have online friendos, for what it's worth. Remember that you may not have many friends but at least 1/3rd of the population (Trump voters and the like) are definitely people you're better off for not being friends with, and that is not your fault. It is the times and the nation that we live in. Not you, probably, or at least not all you. Happy birthday!
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Jun 18, 2021 02:39
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:09 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Jun 18, 2021 05:32
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My parents are due to arrive Friday evening for probably a week-long visit after driving 20 hours in 2 days. I explicitly flew up there in mid-April to see them (after we were all vaxxed) because I was worried my dad would not be able to travel. It has been nearly 2 years since his Stage IV lung cancer diagnosis, and he nearly died a couple months after that due to blood sepsis after a biopsy. When I flew up, he was just barely able to walk to the baggage claim to meet me and back to the car in a handicapped parking spot. He can barely navigate the stairs at his home and now he's going to be here for a week, and I am loving terrified that something will happen to/with him 1100 miles from his team of oncologists who have frankly been god drat incredible. The short notice of this adventure meant that I had to clean out 18 months of pandemic / depressive / bachelor squalor filth in two weeks. The cleaning crew I hired nearly walked out even after I had filled the big city trashcan four times before they arrived. I am doing two full-time jobs at work every day and being paid for one. My original team workers resent me because I'm not helping them as much as they think I should. I am making enemies with the second job because they keep loving things up and try to blame me and I have receipts to prove them wrong every time. The director of my department left in Feb and has been replaced by someone in the org who just took the job title for the raise and has no day-to-day involvement or even any idea of how we operate. Yes, I interviewed for that job and am probably a little salty about not getting it. It's all falling apart every day. I can't even justify taking time off because I know all I'll do with it is drink all night and sleep all day. I'm stockpiling PTO in anticipation of flying home if/when things go bad with my dad and I have to watch him die and help with the arrangements. Gonna eat some peanut butter cups and maybe pet the cat before I pass out.
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Jun 18, 2021 06:18
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No. 6 posted:Living alone sucks. I definitely agree here - not to take away from your experience at all; I just hadn't reflected on my time alone in texas in a while. I think I shrugged off and buried more emotions than I should have when I really think about. I loved where I lived in Texas, but I just didn't have a great time, and really became a huge hermit. Lifting you up, friend.
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Jun 18, 2021 15:01
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skaboomizzy posted:My parents are due to arrive Friday evening for probably a week-long visit after driving 20 hours in 2 days. Wow, last time I was under so much stress on such a sustained basis I quit my job, congrats on being able to handle it all.
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Jun 18, 2021 15:24
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Is there a discord channel?
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Jun 18, 2021 16:01
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:08 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Jun 18, 2021 20:04
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breadnsucc posted:my ex is threatening to go to court and try to get full custody if I don't give her the full name and birthdate of the person I'm currently seeing jesus. loving. christ. If you aren't already communicating in writing, my may want to do so. You may need receipts down the line.
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Jun 18, 2021 20:44
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:08 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Jun 18, 2021 21:09
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I’m pretty checked out of this job. They moved me completely to nights (1-9) and I can’t do anything with my day. Literally not a single person speaks to me all day and it’s poorly managed. All the lovely jobs get dumped on my shift and I’m once again dreading every moment I’m there. I have an interview for an IT and tech place as a customer service person and if it’s offered to me I’ll just loving take it despite hating customer service. I’m tired of being treated as a lesser person. As soon as I’m gone I’m filing an ADA complaint for the poo poo they pulled.
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Jun 18, 2021 21:42
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Ball Tazeman posted:I’m pretty checked out of this job. They moved me completely to nights (1-9) and I can’t do anything with my day. Literally not a single person speaks to me all day and it’s poorly managed. All the lovely jobs get dumped on my shift and I’m once again dreading every moment I’m there. I have an interview for an IT and tech place as a customer service person and if it’s offered to me I’ll just loving take it despite hating customer service. I’m tired of being treated as a lesser person. As soon as I’m gone I’m filing an ADA complaint for the poo poo they pulled. I'd feel the exact same way you do if I were in your shoes my friend - I'll definitely be cheering you on and hoping you land the IT position. Just looking back from your original posts until now and I'm super proud of your ability to stand up and know what you really deserve. Keep pushing.
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Jun 19, 2021 15:55
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Hi, I'm back again. I posted this in an ask/tell thread, but I'm posting it here, too, since the thread is more active, and the people here are cool. I've talked about my struggles with grad school in here before. Well, I just finished my PhD in Comparative Literature from a “highly ranked” institution, and I feel like poo poo. I want the last five years back. I got pressured into writing a dissertation on a topic I wasn’t passionate about, and when it came time to apply for jobs, I was completely burnt out and unable to feel the motivation to apply for any position whatsoever. I enrolled in an MFA program in creative writing instead, which I guess I should feel good about (I’m following my passion to write fiction, hooray), but I don’t. I’m going to a deep red state, and I’m going to be on foodstamps for three more years. I look at academic jobs now and then to see if there’s a position that interests me enough to offer a way out, but there isn’t. It’s all a bunch of visiting assistant professor poo poo and/or things in fields that have nothing to do with my dissertation. The dissertation, by the way, while supposedly (according to my committee at least) a “strong piece of work,” is, as I said, a document to which I feel no attachment. It was just a thing that I wrote (more quickly than I had to because I was genuinely miserable and dying to escape my program). I might submit a book proposal just to feel like it went somewhere, but whatever. Anyway, what would you do in my situation? Embrace the chud state MFA lifestyle even though I will be in my 30s and (let’s face it) probably not a famous writer by the time it’s done? Go for some lovely visiting professor position because at least it pays a little more? Try to look for work in editing and publishing or translating (probably the only fields I have any claim to experience in outside of teaching, and I don’t feel excited or confident about those fields either)? Go to law school? Ask my PhD program if I can still get the extra year of funding that I gave up even though I am done with the dissertation and told them I am moving on with my life (so that I can sit around and look for jobs that either don't interest me or don't exist)?
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Jun 19, 2021 20:43
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TheLemonOfIchabod posted:Hi, I'm back again. I posted this in an ask/tell thread, but I'm posting it here, too, since the thread is more active, and the people here are cool. I've talked about my struggles with grad school in here before. I highly relate. My master's program didn't end up leading to a career. It could have, but my choices and mental health set me back. Whatever I do, I find some meaning in NAMI. Running groups, teaching classes, doing board member stuff. It doesn't actually take up much of my time, but it makes a huge difference in how I feel. This may sound dumb and oversimplistic, but you could make a list of pros and cons of each action, then consider which pros and which cons are most impactful. It won't make the decision for you, but might help you identify what is really important. I went to a pretty conservative university for grad school, in a program that led to a lot of political discussion. I really enjoyed the program and ended up meeting a lot of people I liked. It wasn't in a deep red state, though. I really like school, and I'd probably go for that MFA. School feels like a brief reprieve from the bullshit of the real world. The people at your chosen school might not be representative of most of the people in the surrounding area. I'm trying to come to terms with the idea that I might never have a "day job" that I find meaningful or enjoyable. I still find meaning outside of it through NAMI. Would a crummy teaching position leave you with time to write? Capitalism is a gently caress, but you might be able to do something you want to do in your spare time. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 00:43 on Jun 20, 2021 |
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Jun 20, 2021 00:40
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petit choux posted:I can't advise you when I don't know your individual situation, but I can tell you that creating something, however simple, is always uplifting for me. I ended up doing some much needed automotive maintenence. It is nice to compete tasks. Thanks.
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Jun 20, 2021 15:40
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No. 6 posted:I ended up doing some much needed automotive maintenence. It is nice to compete tasks. Thanks. For real. The guy that did Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance had that much right. Fixing something always feels good. It makes it seem more possible that you can fix other things. And simply putting your mind in a mode to put something together by its nature takes you further from a state of despair. Part of what has been bothering me lately, as I recover from a year-long bender, is my difficulty in completing anything. I have been telling myself I'm going to finish a list of tasks and every time I'd get distracted by some other one. Now, they cumulatively move toward completion, but without a specific one that I can call "done" my sense of self worth suffers. I think in all likelihood I'm undiagnosed ADD or ADHD, which would help explain my short attention span and difficulty remembering things, which I've experienced since my earliest childhood. But I'm pretty old and when I was a child those kind of things were viewed as a character flaw requiring discipline and punishment, rather than a problem to solve. But I finally found all the parts for my guitar, managed to solder the pickups back in and play it enough to determine that it's working, and it felt really good. And same for a pretty trivial project, making a small rack to store vinyl records out of discarded record jackets. It was really easy and unimportant, and the pleasure at having finished it was completely disproportionate to its value, but I was proud of it. I had envisioned a simple task, completed it and it was a clever re-use of trash, and I felt good at having finished it. As for now, that's one of the best ways of buoying up my emotional state.
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Jun 20, 2021 16:05
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EDIT: Civ VI key is claimed
Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 06:20 on Jun 21, 2021 |
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Jun 20, 2021 16:33
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I mean the soundtrack to my life over the past two years may well have been Nirvana's "Something's in the Way," so getting something done has been a really good antidote to that feeling.
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Jun 20, 2021 16:48
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TheLemonOfIchabod posted:Hi, I'm back again. I posted this in an ask/tell thread, but I'm posting it here, too, since the thread is more active, and the people here are cool. I've talked about my struggles with grad school in here before. hey op i mulled over your question for a bit and i had some thoughts. first off if i were you i would be extremely weary of any direct advice you get from friends or family or peers on what to do next careerwise or w/e, tangible stuff like that. not only do they not know your life but they might have a vested interest in a decision you make. i hope its okay ot say but i wonder if you are especially susceptible to that kind of thing. i would also spend some time exploring yourself in therapy (shocker i know). it could be beneficial to understand why you dived so deep into something that made you so miserable for so long. also two quotes came to my mind here that always make me chuckle. a bit tongue in cheek but maybe you'll find some meaning in them too: "my job is to take a depressed person and make them an every day unhappy person" "bring me a sane man and ill cure him" - jung
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Jun 20, 2021 21:43
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That first line about turning misery into unhappiness is one I think about a lot
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Jun 20, 2021 22:49
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cw: graphic suicide mention I was having issues with mice getting in to the house again and that kind of set me off the other day. My partner also is having all his high high school group of friends stay over for a kind of reunion and I have been horribly stressed out cleaning after everybody and also feel lovely because they just talk about people from their hometown and I have nothing to offer. We went out to a brewery and I was already feeling shaky, anxious and tired while kind of being bored, and his friend begins to talk about a neighbor who attempted suicide. He said the guy survived but was completely brain damaged and that he had gone to the house and there was still blood and brain splatter on the ceiling and wall. Well, that completely set me off and I was able to exit the brewery and go to my car before having a complete panic attack. I sat in my car panicking for a half hour before I could collect myself and they were ready to leave. I was the DD. It was a very uncomfortable drive back to the house.
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Jun 22, 2021 05:12
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Ball Tazeman posted:cw: graphic suicide mention Wow, that reminds me, I used to have a roommate whose father had committed suicide. We went to see the premier of Natural Born Killers, he had to leave the theater then and there. I don't think I was all that sympathetic, I mean I was in kind of a perfunctory way but I wasn't too helpful. He was all right, and has gone on to become fairly well to do (he and I started off as homeless together) and has a successful business, a wife and kids; I.e; , he's made himself whole and fulfilled all his dreams. Unlike YT. I have moved out of suicide ideation and somehow am feeling more hopeful. I've quit smoking weed, or at least for the time being because it wasn't bringing any relief any longer, and I try to surround myself with things that I love. It helps a lot that I have the support of my wife, both emotionally and financially, as I've kind of sacrificed my career for hers since she was making 3 times what I did before I quit my job as a whipping boy for crusty old farts, and I don't expect you can probably do that. So here is some unconventional advice, probably bad, I don't know. Buy your partner flowers. Make a habit of it. Or just bring home some wildflowers. If you prefer, buy blooming flowering plants from the hardware store, and then you can plant them somewhere later. They're also cheaper than cut flowers. You may be skeptical, but it's a loving gesture and they're pretty. Pay attention to your appearance, don't dress like a slob, make sure to shave and so forth if you're a he. People are very judgmental about appearance and will treat you worse if you don't look good. It's one of the unfortunate facts of life. And people treating you like poo poo over your appearance definitely contributes to your emotional state. Have hedonistic, self-indulgent sex with your partner if possible. That's always good for a little emotional uplift, however brief. I can't remember the soft porn movie I heard it, but I agree 100%: An O a day will keep the shrink away. That is, unless it's compulsive jacking off, which isn't as helpful, possibly harmful. Get some sun, or go tanning. It's self-care, it's a little horny, and it simply feels good. Same for exercise. Sometimes it feels like a waste of time but getting your blood really moving a few times a week really helps, and it gets those feel-good endorphins up in your blood. Swimming is a great one, so is hiking. And find something you love doing and immerse yourself in it. And make or create or fix something. Everything that you fix is an enduring material reminder that you are capable of doing good. And I guess finally, remember hat you don't know what the future will be, and that the entire sum of all the good you can do in your life is less than a grain of sand relative to the size of the magnificent, lifeless cosmos and that we are nothing but a collection of moments, which are all gone like smoke as soon as they arrive. We have nothing but those moments ultimately and having a few of them that you can think of as good moments is what keeps us going. So think of the good moments, keep their memory alive, and try to make more of them. And that's my rant for the day.
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Jun 22, 2021 15:05
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And also, don't go to Taco Bell, they no longer have the grilled stuffed burritos or the potato burritos and that was the only two good things on the menu. I went without eating all day yesterday, was just about to pass out when I went to Taco Bell to eat my shame burrito in the car, and starving as I was it still tasted like poo poo. And also, get real Mexican wherever and whenever you can.
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Jun 22, 2021 15:13
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Ball Tazeman posted:cw: graphic suicide mention Were they actually getting into the house - or was the 'idea' of them getting into the house again freaking you out? Having to endure that kind of story at a brewery of all places is a downer. I'd be pretty frustrated and freaked out too if I were in your shoes, fiend. How are you feeling now that you've settled in back at home after the trip?
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Jun 22, 2021 15:38
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Ball Tazeman posted:cw: graphic suicide mention I'm so sorry you went through that. Does your partner understand what you went through? I think you handled the situation well, for what it's worth. I don't want to pry or make assumptions about your situation, so I'll just say that you deserve support and to have your boundaries respected. EDIT: It may be worth discussing triggers and plans for what to do if a panic attack happens with your partner. I'll share a bit about what's going on with me. I'm keeping an eye on my sister for a few days. She has special needs. We're enjoying each other's company. She deals with all kinds of health conditions, and has had well over 60 surgeries and procedures in her life. Some of them were very invasive, and give her pain. She's dealing with a number of health issues right now that reduce her quality of life, but I'm trying to be there for her and encourage her when it comes time to see the doctors. I'm not perfectly stable, but I think I'm managing stress better. I gotta say, this thread is the first time I really feel like I connected with other goons. I mostly lurk. I'll join goons to play games sometimes, but eventually I burn out and don't maintain contact. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 16:34 on Jun 22, 2021 |
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Jun 22, 2021 15:59
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petit choux posted:And also, don't go to Taco Bell, they no longer have the grilled stuffed burritos or the potato burritos and that was the only two good things on the menu. I went without eating all day yesterday, was just about to pass out when I went to Taco Bell to eat my shame burrito in the car, and starving as I was it still tasted like poo poo. And also, get real Mexican wherever and whenever you can. do you get your burritos grilled normally? it's an option for /any/ burrito. i think it's the only option not in the app though, gotta talk to a person about it. at least the shame burrito can have a Maillard crust to it. currently living in a place basically devoid of any real Mexican food.
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Jun 23, 2021 08:51
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I'm so sorry you went through that. Does your partner understand what you went through? I think you handled the situation well, for what it's worth. I don't want to pry or make assumptions about your situation, so I'll just say that you deserve support and to have your boundaries respected. I just wanted to check in here with this one: I definitely agree with you on this one. Having that discussion with a partner can be seriously groundbreaking, and just having that unconditional input and care can be a lifesaver.
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Jun 23, 2021 16:11
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Had some weird PTSD-like flashback yesterday to when I went through chronic Xanax withdrawal and relapse between 2016-2018. Maybe it was the heat outside or the summer smell or something that instantly reminded me of going through withdrawals in the summer of 2017 so bad I would rather die than experience them again. This isn't the first time it's happened either. I wonder if you CAN get PTSD from traumatic cold turkey drug withdrawals.
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Jun 24, 2021 05:55
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Chuka Umana posted:Had some weird PTSD-like flashback yesterday to when I went through chronic Xanax withdrawal and relapse between 2016-2018. Maybe it was the heat outside or the summer smell or something that instantly reminded me of going through withdrawals in the summer of 2017 so bad I would rather die than experience them again. This isn't the first time it's happened either. You can get PSTD from anything basically, its about the lasting impact of an experience
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Jun 24, 2021 06:00
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Chuka Umana posted:I wonder if you CAN get PTSD from traumatic cold turkey drug withdrawals. definitely. seen it firsthand.
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Jun 24, 2021 22:08
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I almost at the first month mark of a new job and I have done nothing productive. I have been caught in endless meetings, bureaucratic stuff with living in a new country, finding a place to rent (even though I deliberately came two weeks early to deal with all that which ended up getting delayed), stuff that doesn't build, dealing with a completely new toolset, people unavailable but mostly time that just VANISHES and my usual procrastination. Another person who joined with me has don a crap load of things and I am still stuck on my first task. I dread the next one on one (I have one every two weeks) and I am afraid I will be kicked out during probation. I feel like I took on a job way outside my competency due to pressure from my family to move closer to my sibling. I just tore away the little life I had and spent a shitload of money for nothing to get stuck in a completely new country which is utterly alien to me. Aaaaahhhh. AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 14:21 on Jun 25, 2021 |
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Jun 25, 2021 14:19
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