Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 3

quote:

Most Powerful Emperor, Lord of the Galaxy, disaster has struck your bold minions! Our engines have malfunctioned. We searched the planet for a power source we could tap. But now, even as we replenished our strength from a strange source of transforming power, one of the alien monsters of this planet has attacked! We have sustained damage, but we are undaunted! Perhaps the weak and unworthy captain of the Planet Crusher will assist us so that we may achieve everlasting glory!
- From the log of the Helmacron ship, Galaxy Blaster

We spent a couple of hours at the beach. I have never been so bored in my life. I�m sorry, but I basically hate the beach. Still, Rachel enjoyed it, and she is my best friend. We wore our suits home and it wasn�t till I was walking up the driveway that I realized Jake was waiting.

Jake is the leader of the Animorphs. Mostly because he�s the only one with enough sense of responsibility to take on the job.

And to be honest, I kind of like Jake. As in like. He�s Rachel�s cousin, and the two of them are very similar in the way both are brave and bold and decisive. But Rachel has an edge of recklessness that Jake doesn�t. And Jake is almost as oblivious as I am to clothes and makeup and all that.

Jake saw us coming and looked like he wanted to hide. It suddenly occurred to me that he�d never seen me in a bathing suit. Now I wanted to hide.

�Hi!� he said, giving a little wave and keeping his eyes rock-steady on my face.

�Oh, man, this has got to be trouble,� Rachel said, loudly enough for Jake to hear. �Okay, Jake, whose butt do we have to go and kick?�

Normally he would have smiled. But he just swallowed, darted a look at the rest of me, blushed, and once again, grimly focused on my face.

�He thinks I look dumpy,� I muttered to Rachel under my breath.

�Cassie, you are so hopeless. What you know about guys could fit on the head of a pin. Good grief. That is not a �she looks dumpy� look. That�s a �whoa, she looks hot, but I better not show any reaction or she�ll get offended� look.�

We came up to where Jake was standing. �I, uh, I brought some stuff over for you to take to Goodwill. Remember, you said I should. So I did. Some stuff and all. I gave it to your dad, and he took it. He just left.�

I had to admit, this was more stammery than Jake usually got. Rachel had drifted around behind him so she could roll her eyes and do a mean parody of him looking embarrassed.

I was fighting the urge to laugh when I spotted something that made me freeze. There was another toy spaceship attached to the water pump.

I leaped toward it. �Jake, did you get this off the truck?� I asked.

�What? No. What is that?�

I looked hard, blinked, and looked again. The toy spacecraft was back. Only it wasn�t the same.

This one was shorter, broader, with two big �engines� at the back instead of the clusters of smaller ones. And the death�s-head bridge was different, too. Still a death�s-head, but different.

�It�s not the same,� I said to Rachel. �It�s similar, but it�s not the same.�

Rachel stopped rolling her eyes. Jake looked at each of us, puzzled.

And then, to our utter amazement, the little �toy� ship separated from the water pump, turned to a level position, and flew swiftly away, missing Rachel�s head by inches.

�What was that?� Jake demanded.

Rachel shrugged. �We thought Romulan,� she said.

�Jake, you know what�s hidden in that water pump?�

�Of course I do.� He shook his head slowly. Then he snapped into his �leader� mode. �Okay, the weekend just got canceled. Cassie, you and Rachel morph right now, get to the woods, and bring back Tobias and Ax. I�ll find Marco. Back here in half an hour. Go.�

I hate it when the weekend gets cancelled.

Chapter 4

quote:

We assembled. Jake, Rachel, Marco, Ax in his own, natural Andalite body (which is a cross between a blue deer, a centaur, and a scorpion), and Tobias who, though he regained his morphing power, is a red-tailed hawk.

We assembled and tried to figure out what, if anything, we should do about a flying toy spaceship.

But, really, there were only two possible things to do. One was to talk to Ax.

�Ax, is there any way the Yeerks would use some kind of tiny, miniaturized � um � flying thing to locate the blue box?� Jake asked.

<A flying thing, Prince Jake? What is a flying thing?>

�That would be a thing that flies,� Marco added helpfully.

�Like a � like a toy spaceship,� Jake said, ignoring Marco.

<Why would they use a toy spaceship?> Ax wondered. <They have real spacecraft.> Ax kept his main eyes attentively focused on Jake, while his stalk eyes looked at Marco and me. Jake shrugged and looked at me. I shrugged back.

Which brought us to the one other thing we could think of doing: going to Goodwill and finding the �toy� my dad had delivered earlier.

We morphed to seagulls and flew there. All except Tobias, who has his own wings.

We demorphed and Rachel, Jake, and I went in. We glanced quickly around the shelves and realized the toy we were looking for was not there.

I went to the clerk, a college-age guy.

�Hi. My dad dropped off some toys about a couple hours ago, along with a bunch of other stuff. And, well, it turns out we gave you some stuff we shouldn�t have.�

�Yeah. His toy spaceship,� Rachel said, pointing at Jake.

�That�s right. My toy spaceship.�

�If it just came in it would still be in the back. They would have sorted it and probably stuck it with other toys.�

�Okay. Can we go look for it?� I asked, smiling my most winning smile.

�What kind of spaceship was it?� the clerk asked.

�Toy,� Jake answered.

The clerk rolled his eyes. �I mean, what kind? Romulan? Federation? Klingon? Dominion? Ferengi? Or maybe it was from the Babylon 5 universe: Minbari? Shadows? Or was it from Star Wars? Was it a TIE fighter?�

Rachel and I both looked at Jake. �Romulan,� he said.

The clerk jerked his thumb over his shoulder. �Back there. But don�t try and grab anything that isn�t yours. You better come out of there with a Romulan ship.�

�Of all the clerks in all the Goodwills in the world, we have to get a science fiction fan,� Jake muttered.

We went through swinging doors into a loading dock area. There was furniture piled here and there. Boxes of electronic stuff. Old TVs. A lot of old clothes and a jumbled pile of toys. Dolls, action figures, games, Legos, a tricycle. It was like all the toys of the last decade were having a
convention on the cold concrete floor.

�Okay, do you see it?� Jake asked me.

I stepped gingerly around the scattered toys, picking my way over hairless Barbies and headless X-Men. Then I spotted a tangle of three toys.
�There it is!�

�Next to the Klingon battle cruiser and the G.I. Joe Attack Module?�

I rolled my eyes. �You�re such a boy. Sometimes I almost forget you�re � you know. I mean, it�s sweet.�

�Awwww.� That would be Rachel, of course.

Jake sighed and went to pick up the toy spaceship. He turned it over, wrinkling his brow in puzzlement.

Then, through the open loading bay �

A swift, silvery machine, no more than five or six inches long, swooped into the room.

�Whoa,� Jake said. �Toys have gotten so cool. I never had a toy spaceship that could -�

Tseeew! Tseeew!

�Ahhh! Owww!�

�What?� I cried, jumping to Jake�s side.

He was cradling his right arm. I looked at it and saw two tiny holes burned through the sleeve of his morphing outfit.

�That little toy spaceship just shot me!�

So this is certainly getting weird now.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 05:02

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:09

Bobulus: Jan 28, 2007

I feel like this is going to end with the gang Acquiring tiny aliens, going inside the ship to have a peaceful conversation, immediately getting captured, and then having to fight their way out before their two hours are up.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 05:16

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

This is definitely more of a comedy book than anything else and feels like a very disconcerting swerve after the misery trudge of David>HB Chronicles>23.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 06:16

ANOTHER SCORCHER: Aug 12, 2018

Fun fact: this is among the last few books to be written by K. A. Applegate herself before the stretch at the end. She writes this, #26 (which is great), and #32 (which I recall being nearly as bad as this one).

# ? Jun 29, 2021 06:38

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Between this and the Andalite toilet book, it seems like Cassie gets the comic relief books for some reason.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 07:05

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

WrightOfWay posted:

Between this and the Andalite toilet book, it seems like Cassie gets the comic relief books for some reason.

They're fun to write and Applegate likes her best?

# ? Jun 29, 2021 09:36

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Good Lord this feels dated.

If these books were written today, everyone's thoughts would immediately go to "That must be a Yeerk drone."

# ? Jun 29, 2021 13:55

feetnotes: Jan 29, 2008

This book is fun and Helmacrons rule :cool:

# ? Jun 29, 2021 16:17

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

These starfighters are small. Those starfighters are far away

# ? Jun 29, 2021 16:25

GodFish: Oct 10, 2012; We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret. We exist in shadow.

And we dress in black.

Maybe it gets terrible but so far this book rules.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 18:05

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

This sounds like the story one of the traumatized survivors would actually tell their grandkids about when asked about the war.

One of my WWII relatives was clearly haunted and hated talking about it, but every now and again he'd cheerfully talk about the time he and his buddies were horsing around with an oxygen tank during training and accidentally launched it through a yacht.

# ? Jun 29, 2021 21:55

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 5

quote:

Most Omnipotent Leader! We have located the fools of the Galaxy Blaster. They have allowed themselves to be taken by the large aliens of this planet. But your loyal ship, Planet Crusher, will destroy all who stand in our way and will save that other unworthy ship so that they might, perhaps by mere accident, serve your great will!
- From the log of the Helmacron ship, Planet Crusher

The small silver ship blew past us and I saw the engine nacelles glow an electric blue. It soared up toward the warehouse style roof then turned back toward us.

Tseeew! Tseeew!

I felt two pinpricks on my left cheek. �Oww! That hurts!�

�Let�s back off!� Jake said.

�Back off?� Rachel yelled. �Back off from a toy? I don�t think so.� She snatched up a wooden baseball bat from the pile of toys and rested it expertly on her shoulder. �Come on, you little punk!�

Tseeew! Tseeew!

�Ahhh! My hair! They shot my hair.�

We all looked down in horror. There, on the concrete, lay the evidence: half a dozen long, blond hairs. The ends were still smoking.

�Okay, that�s it, they�re dead,� Rachel said and swung the bat.

The tiny spacecraft ducked as the bat blew past, inches above it.

�I hate to say it,� Jake said, unable to stifle a grin. �But since Marco isn�t here to say it� steeeeee-RIKE one!�

�Oh, that�s very amusing, Jake,� Rachel snapped. �I�ll laugh right after I knock these little creeps into the bleachers!�

The ship turned once more and came at us from the side.

Tseeew! Tseeew!

This time we all ducked. Rachel swung the bat blindly over her head, but missed.

�Like I said, how about if we back off?� Jake suggested.

We duckwalked back from the toy pile and the little ship landed beside the other little silver ship.

I stood up cautiously to be able to see. A bright red beam, thin as a hair, connected the two little craft.

Jake and Rachel stood up, too.

�Well, this isn�t too weird,� Rachel said.

�Look, the other ship is lifting off now,� Jake said. �They must have given them a jump start. Just don�t hit them with the bat, Rachel. Maybe they�ll leave on their own.�

But that was not to be. The two ships rose from the floor and hovered there around eye-level, pointing straight at us.

�Okay, have the bat ready,� Jake said. �They shoot, you swing.�

Then, to our surprise, we heard a thought-speak voice in our heads.

<Aliens! Give us the power source! Give it to us and we will let you live as our slaves. We will not crush and annihilate you as we will crush and annihilate all the people of this planet!>

�Power source?� Jake echoed.

�The blue box,� I said, understanding it all suddenly. �That�s why they were on the water pump.

They think the blue box is a power source.�

�Maybe it is, for them,� Rachel said. �Not exactly polite, are they?�

We heard a second, blustering thought-speak voice. <No, we shall not let all three of you live! Only the one who brings us the power source. All others must feel the wrath of brave Helmacron warriors, the true and natural rulers of the galaxy!>

Rachel cocked an eyebrow at Jake. �Now can I hit �em?�

I stepped forward, hoping to make peace. I held up my hands to show they were empty. I smiled.

I said, �Hi, welcome to Earth. Look, some of what you�re saying sounds almost threatening. And I�m sure you don�t mean it that way. But -�

<Do you insult the flower of Helmacron space forces? You may insult the crew of the Planet Crusher, but he who insults the Galaxy Blaster will be smashed into little bits, and those bits ground into dust, and that dust will be blown away by the wind!>

�Ooookay. Let�s try again.�

Tseeew! Tseeew!

The little beams burned neat pinholes through my morphing outfit.

Then, without another word, the two tiny spaceships turned and shot out through the open door. For about ten seconds the three of us just stared at one another. There are a lot of words for what we were feeling: Disbelief. Incredulity. Amazement.

And resentment.

Rachel said it first. �Oh, come on. Like we don�t have enough problem aliens?�

Then it clicked. �The box! They�re going back after the blue box!�

These aliens are charming people.

Chapter 6

quote:

�Tobias! Follow them,� Jake said as we leaped from the loading dock platform onto the ground outside. �We�ll be along as soon as we can.�

It was time for speed. We needed to get back to the farm before the Helmacrons could manage to get hold of the blue box. We found one of the Goodwill trucks open and empty. We climbed in the back and pulled the door down to within a foot of being closed. Enough room for us to get back out when we were done morphing.

I focused on the osprey whose DNA is a part of me. I began to feel the familiar, creepy morphing sensation of pain-at-a-distance. Morphing does shocking things to your body: dissolves organs and twists bones and causes body parts to grow where no body part had been. It should be the most hideously painful experience any human has ever endured. But the morphing technology masks that pain. Like Novocain masks the pain of having your teeth drilled.

But just like when you go to the dentist, you sort of know the pain is there. I mean, you realize pain is being created, it�s just not reaching your brain.

Very weird. Even in a morph you�ve done before, as I�ve done the osprey morph.

Far, far away there was the awful pain of skin blistering and forming feather patterns that grew and grew, thousands of quills erupting from my flesh. My back, my chest, my arms and legs, my face - all sprouted feathers as fast as one of those stop-action films of plants growing.

My lips grew hard as fingernails, then pouted outward to form the sharp, hooked beak. My fingers stretched and my arms shrank, and with a snap! here and a snap! there my human arm and shoulder bones became the wing and shoulder bones of a bird.

I was shrinking all the while, of course, as the dark truck grew vast around me. Two of my toes melted into the others and then turned crusty and hard. My heel bone suddenly popped through the flesh to make the rear talon.

And yet throughout all this, throughout watching my friends undergo very similar changes, we kept up a normal flow of conversation.

It�s amazing what you can get used to, I guess.

<Wait a minute,> Marco was saying. <You�re telling me those are actual spaceships? Three inches long?>
<Maybe four,> I said. 

<Ax, what do you know about a race called the Helmacrons?> Jake asked.

<Nothing. I have heard of no such race.>

<How can aliens be that small?> Marco demanded. <It makes no sense. They�d have to have faster-than-light travel. In a three-inch-long toy spaceship?>

<They seem to disagree,> I said. 

<How do you mean?> Ax asked.

<Well, they say they�re going to make us all their slaves,> I said. <You know, conquer the world.>

<Kind of ambitious for a bunch of sub-midgets,> Marco said.

<We do not know how large these Helmacrons are,> Ax cautioned. <They may well be any size. Perhaps these spacecraft are simply robots. Miniaturized, robotic scout vessels. The Helmacrons themselves may not be inside the ships. They may be elsewhere.>

<Let�s quit guessing and go find out,> Rachel said impatiently. She had morphed to a huge bald eagle. She walked on her talons over to the partially open door of the truck. She ducked down, spread her wings to lower her profile, and slipped out through the gap.

I followed her, hopped down onto the bumper of the truck, and from there flapped my wings and tried to get off the ground. But it was dead air there behind the Goodwill building, so I ended up scooting along the ground for a few feet before I could get enough lift to fly.

I flapped hard to get the first few dozen feet of altitude. But once above the roofline I found a gentle wisp of breeze, turned into it, and caught some easier altitude.

The five of us flapped and circled and flapped some more till we were at a safe height, above the power lines and roofs and gas station signs.

We set off toward my farm, hoping that was the right way to go. I searched the sky ahead of me for a glimpse of Tobias. Ospreys, like all birds of prey, have incredible eyes.

But it was Rachel who spotted him, a tiny dot already halfway to the farm.

<There he is,> Rachel said. <Too far for thought-speak.>

<Let�s just try and catch him,> Jake said. <Forget about staying together, everyone go for it.>

<We�re too obvious bunched up like this anyway,> Marco agreed. <We look like an Audubon Society bird-recognition poster.>

To my surprise, we began to narrow the distance between us and Tobias. Which shouldn�t really have been possible, since we weren�t any faster - aside from Jake, in his peregrine falcon morph.

<He�s stopped moving forward,> Jake reported. <He�s � Oh, man! He�s in a dogfight with one of those ships!>

Ax said what I�d only begun to think. <A Dracon beam too narrow to do more than sting a human being might have a very different effect on a creature as small as Tobias.>

Suddenly, the Helmacrons weren�t all that funny.

This is maybe a weird nitpick, but Dracon beams are specifically a Yeerk weapon, right? In fact, in the Hork-Bajir Chronicles, we learned how the Yeerks combined Andalite and Ongarchic weapon technology to make them. Of course, it's been 30 years since the events of that book, so I have no doubt the secret to Dracon beams is out in the wild now.

Epicurius fucked around with this message at 06:17 on Jun 30, 2021

# ? Jun 30, 2021 04:31

effervescible: Jun 29, 2012; i will eat your soul

Epicurius posted:

This is maybe a weird nitpick, but Dracon beams are specifically a Yeerk weapon, right? In fact, in the Hork-Bajir Chronicles, we learned how the Yeerks combined Andalite and Ongarchic weapon technology to make them. Of course, it's been 30 years since the events of that book, so I have no doubt the secret to Dracon beams is out in the wild now.

It's just getting genericized, like Xerox and Kleenex. The Yeerks better watch out or they'll have a trademark fight on their hands.

# ? Jun 30, 2021 05:13

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

effervescible posted:

It's just getting genericized, like Xerox and Kleenex. The Yeerks better watch out or they'll have a trademark fight on their hands.

I wonder if DeGroot does trademark law alongside wills and probate?

# ? Jun 30, 2021 05:20

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Didn't we also learn that the Yeerks sold off obsolete Dracon beams for coin, which the Skrit Na fitted to their ships?

# ? Jun 30, 2021 05:39

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Epicurius posted:

I wonder if DeGroot does trademark law alongside wills and probate?

I'm guessing DeGroot was also how Chapman manged to walk away from running over and possibly murdering the Deputy Director of the US Secret Service with his car without seemingly any consequence.

# ? Jun 30, 2021 07:28

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

nine-gear crow posted:

I'm guessing DeGroot was also how Chapman manged to walk away from running over and possibly murdering the Deputy Director of the US Secret Service with his car without seemingly any consequence.

Thats a big ask for a lawyer next to a laundry.

Or was that a metaphor? :thunk:

# ? Jun 30, 2021 07:41

Pwnstar: Dec 9, 2007; Who wants some waffles?

"Get back, their weapons can mildly annoy us!"

# ? Jun 30, 2021 10:17

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Thats a big ask for a lawyer next to a laundry.

Or was that a metaphor?

Better call Saul!

# ? Jun 30, 2021 12:33

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

I have no memory of this book from reading the series as a kid, but I'm kind of loving it as a goofy, light-hearted break from all the heavy poo poo lately.

# ? Jun 30, 2021 18:38

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 7

quote:

With osprey eyes I could see the weird aerial battle long before we reached it. Tobias was twisting and turning, flaring, diving, catching up-drafts, and just generally putting on a display of flying skills.

But the two Helmacron ships were matching him almost move for move.

<Snoopy and the Red Baron,> Marco said.

It did look like some bizarre parody of a World War I fighter-pilot movie. Only instead of machine guns, the Helmacrons were firing their tiny Dracon beams. I could see singed and burned feathers. But Rachel noticed what I had missed.

<They�re aiming for his eyes! They�re trying to blind him!>

Jake was the first to join the battle. Rachel was seconds behind him. The rest of us caught up half a minute later.

Rachel went straight for the first ship. She hit it, talons out, raked it, spun it through the air, and peeled off to come back around.

Jake tried the same trick on the second ship but it dodged and he missed. Fortunately, it dodged right toward me. And I was mad now. They�d been trying to blind Tobias.

The little spaceship came straight for me, firing its little beams. I spilled air clumsily but managed to drop a couple of feet, whipped my wings open, caught a decent breeze, and shot up from beneath the ship.

I couldn�t get my talons up so I just slammed into it beak-first.

That was not a good idea. The impact stunned me and made my vision swim.

I didn�t think I wanted to try that again. But fortunately, the Helmacrons broke off and hauled butt toward my farm, just a quarter of a mile away.

We were fast birds, but the Helmacron ships were a lot faster. Now that they�d decided to avoid more bird fighting, they reached the water pump before we could really even line up to chase them.

<We have to stop them!> Rachel yelled.

But it was wings versus engines, and wings aren�t going to win that kind of a race.

<Tobias, are you okay?> I asked him as we flew.

<Yeah, just a few holes here and there. They almost got my right eye but they missed. You guys got there just in time.>

Ax was in northern harrier morph not far away. <The question is: Why did they attack Tobias?>

<He was following them,> Jake suggested.

<They should have thought he was just a bird,> Ax pointed out. <Surely they can tell the difference between humans and other Earth species.>

<Are you suggesting they somehow knew what Tobias really is?> I asked.

 Ax said guardedly. 

Maybe so. But now I had concern, too. Why had the Helmacrons tried to shoot a bird?

No time for that now. We had to get to the blue box. But with my enhanced vision, I could already see that we were too late. The two little ships were hovering beside the pump. I could just make out the tiny little energy beams. Beams that were cutting - slowly - through the steel pump.

I was wearing myself out, flapping as hard as I could. But the Helmacrons just kept slicing through the metal toward the prize.

We were all about two hundred feet away when the pump simply fell over onto the ground. And sitting there out in the open, revealed for all to see, was the blue box.

We closed the distance, Jake in the lead, Rachel right behind him, the rest of us bunched up.

From the two Helmacron ships came a pale, greenish beam different from the weapons. It came from the bottom of each ship as they hovered directly above the box.

The blue box moved.

<Tractor beams!> Ax yelled. <They are attempting to take the box!> The ships rose slowly, and the box rose slowly with them. They turned, and the box turned, too.

And then Jake struck.

And then Rachel.

One ship broke off. The tractor beam failed. The box fell to the ground.

The earlier dogfight had just been a warm-up. Now things were getting serious.

So why were they going after Tobias?

Chapter 8

quote:

<Rachel, look out! He�s on your tail!>



<Cassie, turn left, left, left!>

I banked hard and twin Dracon beams missed me by millimeters.

It was sheer madness. The two silvery toy spaceships, twisting and turning and firing wildly in a melee with six birds of prey.

And all of it taking place within about a twenty-by-twenty-by-twenty-foot space in my yard. It�s a good thing my parents were out.

<Cassie! Above you!> Tobias yelled.

I turned sharply, flapped, and found the ship coming down almost in front of me. I raked my talons forward, but I didn�t have the speed. And worse yet, I was getting tired.

Birds of prey aren�t geese. They aren�t made for long flights without some relaxing soaring and gliding. And they certainly aren�t made for playing air tag for twenty minutes.

We were all wearing out. It is unbelievably exhausting keeping your wings going constantly, let alone when you�re in a turn ninety percent of the time.
But the Helmacrons were not tiring. And while their little beams couldn�t kill us, our talons and beaks couldn�t kill them, either. We could knock them around, but we couldn�t penetrate their outer skin.

Rachel was the first to land. She practically fell in the dirt. She had the largest morph, the one least able to endure the turning and switchbacks.

<Can�t �> she gasped. <Can�t go on �>

<Aaaahhh!> Ax yelled. A Helmacron shot had hit its mark. I saw a tiny, smoking hole in his right eye. He landed, too. Demorphing would fix the wound, but I knew it must be very painful.

One of the Helmacron ships broke off the battle and went back to the blue box. But that couldn�t happen.

I landed and began to demorph as fast as I could. There are times when human is the best of all. I sprouted up from the ground and tried to catch the Helmacron with fingers only partly emerged from my wings and feet that were basically just size-six talons.

The pale green beam locked onto the blue box. The ship lifted off again, carrying the box despite the fact that the box was bigger than the ship itself.

The ship was heading toward the open barn door. Deliberately? No, that would be stupid. The Helmacrons simply didn�t know they were heading into what would be a trap.

I was more and more human and now I could walk fairly well. I chased the retreating blue box. Into the barn. Sunlight shone through dozens of small knotholes or gaps in the boards. But it was still dim and gloomy inside. The rows of smaller cages were stacked to my right. The larger cages were on my left in a single row. A rough half-wall kept the larger predators separate. Beyond them, isolated at the far end of the barn, were the horse stalls.

The horses were all out in the field. But in the barn we had half a dozen bats, two rabbits, two raccoons, a vole, a gopher, two deer, a badger, a goose, two mourning doves, a fox, three mallard ducks, a merlin, a robin, and a bluejay.

Not to mention the various rats and mice who lived there.

The Helmacron ship had come to a stop, hovering in midair. It sat atop the blue box like a hen trying to hatch an egg.

�Give up the box,� I said to the Helmacron ship. �If you don�t, I�ll have to hurt you.�

<Surrender or be annihilated!> the Helmacrons replied.

�I don�t think so. In fact, I really don�t think you folks are going to have much luck conquering Earth.�

<We will crush you! All humans will serve us!>

�Excuse me, I don�t mean to be insensitive or�� I searched for the right word. �I don�t want to be size-ist, but has it occurred to you that we�re kind of big for you to conquer? I mean, your whole ship is smaller than my foot. And your weapons don�t really hurt us.�

I guess this was news to the Helmacrons, because they fell silent. I thought, Good, maybe I got through to them.

FLASH!

I blinked and held up my hand, too late to block the flashbulb brilliance. It had been a green light of shocking intensity. I wasn�t hurt, but I was definitely seeing spots.

And then I noticed something very odd.

The cages were growing larger. The animals in them were growing larger. The Helmacron ship and the blue box were growing larger.

�Oh, no,� I said, more amazed than frightened. �I�m shrinking.�

Getting through to them was a mistake.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 04:04

Bobulus: Jan 28, 2007

I'm assuming they can detect morphing energy with their ship, since they found the Box, something the Yeerks are unable to do. Probably why they could tell something was up with Tobias, too.

I wonder if morphing and demorphing fixes shrinking, like it does injuries.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 04:31

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Bobulus posted:

I'm assuming they can detect morphing energy with their ship, since they found the Box, something the Yeerks are unable to do. Probably why they could tell something was up with Tobias, too.

I wonder if morphing and demorphing fixes shrinking, like it does injuries.

Yeah, that seems the most plausible, we know that it is possible to detect from that one Megamorphs book. On the other hand, Tobias was in his natural form so maybe something else is going on? Maybe there's weirdness about being a Nothlit or they can detect that someone is morph capable even if they haven't morphed.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 06:03

GodFish: Oct 10, 2012; We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret. We exist in shadow.

And we dress in black.

Based on the little snippets at the start of chapters they seem pretty genocidal - maybe they're just attacking everything that moves?

# ? Jul 1, 2021 06:43

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 9

quote:

I was getting small. I was getting small very fast.

I�ve shrunk before, when I�ve morphed various insects, for example. But this was new. I was shrinking as a human.

The only good thing was that at least my morphing suit was shrinking, too. Bad to be shrinking. Worse to be shrinking right out of your clothes.

�Hey!� I yelled. �What did you do to me?�

<Hah! You glory in your swollen, bloated bulk, human! You dare to defy us! We shall see how bold you are when you are the same size as we. Now you will taste bitter defeat! Now you will feel the sting of eternal humiliation!>

�I don�t glory in my � Hey, who are you calling bloated? Wait a minute! Stop this!�

I was still shrinking. I�d started at four foot something. Now I was less than a foot tall. And I was still shrinking. I glanced over and saw a raccoon. He was bigger than I was. Not to mention a million times more hostile.

<Cassie!>

I spun around and spotted Tobias, swooping in like a 747 coming in for a landing.

�Tobias! Look out! They have a shrinking ray!�

<A what?>

FLASH!

�Never mind. You�ll find out soon enough.�

<Hah HAH! You all think to resist the might of the Helmacrons because you are large and because you glow with the transformational power! But we, too, know how to use the transformational power! Shrink! Shrink! And become our abject and pitiable slaves!>

<Hey,> Tobias said, sounding puzzled. <I�m shrinking. And you�ve already shrunk!>

�Tobias! You have to warn the others not to come in here! Somehow they�re using the power of the blue box to do this.�



�Warn the others!� I cried.

Tobias turned, but he was shrinking fast. He was already down to about hummingbird size.

Suddenly the door was much further away for him.

<Well, this is unfortunate,> he said.

A huge, galumphing form appeared in the doorway: Marco.

�Get back!� I screamed.

But of course what he heard was, �Get back!�

FLASH!

�Hey!� Marco yelled. �No flash photography.�

<Marco! Quick, before you shrink. Warn the others to stay out!>

�Say what? Before I what?�

But he turned and yelled over his shoulder. �Jake! Ax! Rachel! Stay out of here!�

I could see him peering down at me. His face was about the size of the Goodyear blimp - if it was about to land on top of you.

�Oh, this isn�t good,� he said.

I was shrinking still further. I was already as small as a cockroach. The roof of the barn already looked like it was the sky. A dim overhead light might as well have been the moon.

Marco was standing on sequoia legs, with feet the size of twin Titanics.

�What�s happening in there?� Jake yelled.

�Well,� Marco said calmly. �The Helmacrons have the blue box and they seem to be using it in a kind of bizarre way.�

�I�m coming in,� Jake said decisively.

�No!� Marco yelled in a voice that already sounded like someone breathing helium. �No, Jake and Ax, do not come in!� Then, as an afterthought, he said,, �Rachel, you could come in.�

<Marco!> Tobias chided.

�Hey, the Wicked Witch gets to be full size and I�m down here singing, �We represent the Lollipop Guild?� I don�t think so.�

<Rachel, Jake, everyone stay out!> Tobias cried in thought-speak that we all heard clearly.

�Okay, everyone just stay put,� Jake ordered. �Look, the other Helmacron ship took off. Rachel hit it with a brick.�

I would have laughed. Only I was now shrinking down to the point where scattered bits of hay on the ground were looking like huge, felled trees. Grains of dirt were the size of soccer balls.

�I think I�m done shrinking!� I said. Not that anyone heard me. Something flew into view.

Something that seemed weirdly large. Tobias. He was roughly the size of a very small fly. But he was about as big as me.

 he said.

�Me, too.�

<But we�re the same size. I should be smaller than you. I started out much smaller than you.>

�I guess that�s not how it works,� I said. �I think the idea here is to shrink us all to the same size as the Helmacrons themselves.�

Marco, now no more than three inches tall himself, came walking over. He was huge to us. But his face was getting closer all the time.

�Oh, man, you guys are small,� he said. �Honey, I shrunk the Animorphs!�

�Rachel! Get a brick!� Jake said in a huge voice that reverberated around us.

Half points to whoever said the team would shrink to Helmacron size, because half of them did.

Chapter 10

quote:

�I am loaded up and ready,� Rachel said grimly.

�Give them a warning shot,� he said. �Careful not to hit Cassie or the others.�

Rachel must have thrown the brick, because there came a humongous earthquake.

WHAMBBBB!

It only lasted a second, but it knocked me on my butt. Fortunately, that involved a fall of only a few millimeters.

�Helmacrons, listen to me!� Jake said. �That was a warning shot. The next one lands right on top of you. Leave the blue box. Restore our people to normal size and we�ll let you leave peacefully!�

<Never! Your brick weapon does not frighten us!>

�Yeah? Well, it banged up your other ship pretty well,� Rachel said.

<Helmacrons, listen to me.> I recognized Ax�s thought-speak voice. Which meant he was probably in his normal body.

Great. All I needed was for my parents to come home, find Jake and Rachel and a big blue scorpion-tailed four-eyed Deer-boy in a standoff with a toy-sized spaceship, and me the size of a gnat.

<Helmacrons,> Ax said patiently, <if you are capable of spaceflight you must also understand the fundamental laws of motion. Her weapon has a mass as great as the mass of your ship. It will be thrown at a velocity that will ->

<Do not lecture us on physics, you inferior human!>



�Hey!� Rachel said.

<Sorry,> Ax said. 

<We will crush you, Andalite! All Andalites will grovel before us.>

<Not if my friend Rachel hits you with the dense oblong cube she is holding.>

�It�s a brick, Ax. It�s called a brick. We build houses out of them.�

<Perhaps you should not mention that fact,> Ax said in an aside. <The Helmacrons are already contemptuous of humans.>

�Okay, I�ve had enough of this battle of the alien egos here. I�m counting to three. Then I�m throwing this brick. You little insects either fix my friends � and Marco, too � or you get bricked.�

<Do you dare to threaten us?!>

�One ��

<Grovel before the might of the Helmacrons!>

�Two ��

Tseeew! Tseeew!

�Aaahhh!� Rachel cried.

�The other ship! It�s back!� Jake yelled. �Look out!�

I could see it all happening, far, far overhead. A gigantic Rachel, holding a brick the size of a high school. The second Helmacron ship, which no longer looked nearly as tiny, came zipping in and shot Rachel in the shoulder.

She let the brick fly. But it wasn�t an aimed shot. It was reflex.

The brick arced through the air, and began to drop. Straight toward us.

�Run!� Marco yelled. He was now as small as Tobias and me.

We ran. Tobias flew.

�Noooo!� Jake screamed and launched himself through the air, hands outstretched to catch the falling brick.

But then � FWAPPPP!

Ax�s tail blade snapped like a bullwhip, there was a shower of sparks that might as well have been the Fourth of July to us on the ground, and suddenly there were two smaller bricks tumbling apart.

I shot a look upward at the two tumbling half-bricks. �Freeze!� I yelled.

WHAAAM!

WHAAAM!

They dropped on either side of us, once again knocking me off my feet.

Then a much heavier impact.

WHA-BOOOOM!

Jake hit the ground, fortunately missing us as well.

His face lay sideways. It was about as high as a thirty-story building. His eyes were like brown and white swimming pools, huge globes that looked as if they might pop and drain down like runny Jell-O.

His mouth was a valley. His nostrils were caves. When he breathed out it nearly knocked Tobias out of the air. And when he sucked in a pained inhalation it was like being near a vacuum cleaner.

I stared up, transfixed by this face I had always found attractive. And I found myself staring at a zit bigger than I was.

Fortunately, Tobias was paying attention to more important things. <Jake! Above you!>

Jake rolled over, a moving mountain, just as the two Helmacron ships, holding the blue box with twin tractor beams, attempted to fly over him.

He rolled onto his back and shot an arm about a thousand feet into the air. Fingers the size of Taxxons closed around the blue box and yanked it down.

The two Helmacron ships jerked, shuddered, but flew on.

We had the box back!

Unfortunately, Marco, Tobias, and I were still small enough to set up housekeeping inside a thimble.

I think the next book should just be Cassie, Marco and Tobias moving into a thimble.

# ? Jul 2, 2021 04:12

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 11

quote:

O Great One, Most Magnificent of all Leaders, we have met the Vast Enemy in battle and have triumphed! Using the power source
we discovered, we have shrunk three of the aliens to our size. And we would have captured the power source as well, but for the
cowardice of the Galaxy Blaster. Filled with the courage you give us, we shall recapture the power source and use it to drive our
enemies before us, wailing and crying!
- From the log of the Helmacron ship, Planet Crusher

�Cassie? Tobias? Marco?�

Rachel�s huge voice boomed. I looked up at her, so tall she could have been the Sears Tower. I wasn�t sure exactly how big I was, but I had the feeling I was not large at all. For one thing, dirt wasn�t dirt anymore. It was rocks.

I heard Tobias answer in thought-speak. <Rachel! Watch where you step. We�re down here!>

�Down where?�

<On the ground.>

�I don�t see anything.�

<We�re kind of small,> Tobias said.

�Kind of small?� Marco shrilled. �A termite could kick our butts.�

<Very small,> Tobias amended.

�Are all three of you together?� Jake bellowed.

<Yeah. We�re all together. What are we going to do?>

�I don�t know,� Jake admitted. �Ax?�



�Gee, do you think?� Marco mocked. Of course, none of them heard it because it came out, �Gee, do you think?� And even that�s an exaggeration. To really convey how little sound we could make, we�d need microscopic print.

<Perhaps they should attempt to morph,> Ax suggested. <It may be that their morphs would be normal size.>

�Good idea,� I said. �Tell them, Tobias.�

<Cassie says �good idea.� She�s going to try it.>

I considered for a moment which morph to attempt. Something that could fly. Sitting in the dirt was not a good feeling.

�I�ll go back to my osprey morph,� I said. I focused my mind and began to feel the changes. The feathers � the talons � the shrinking.
The shrinking?

I was getting smaller. Grains of dirt weren�t rocks anymore, they were mobile homes!

I reversed morph instantly. �Not a good idea,� I told Tobias shakily.

<Yeah, I noticed. Um � Jake?>

�Houston, we have a problem,� Marco intoned.

<Jake? Cassie just tried to morph to osprey but she shrank. She was on her way to being a really, really small bird. It�s weird, because I�m not small. I mean, I am, but I�m the same size as Cassie and Marco. But when she tried to morph she shrank.>

<That is logical. Unfortunate, but logical,> Ax said.

�Now he�s Mr. Spock,� Marco said.

<The Helmacrons would have set certain size parameters, no doubt. That is to say, they picked a size and then shrank all three of them to that size. That is now the baseline. Any morphing will be relative to that baseline.>

I thought about that for a moment, then said, �Tobias, is he saying that if we did something like morph a flea, we�d end up being microscopic?�

<Ax-man, what happens if one of us morphs a flea or something?>

<You would diminish in size. If we assume that a flea is no more than a sixteenth of an inch long normally, it would be one nine hundred and sixtieth of the height of a five-foot human. Thus, if we assume that you are currently, let us say, a quarter of an inch tall, it follows that your flea morph would be one quarter inch divided by nine hundred and sixty. Thus, your flea morph would be point zero-zero-zero-two-six-zero-four of an inch.>

�If he says �thus� again, I�m gonna bite him on the hoof,� Marco said.

<Ax? I don�t think we�re a quarter inch. I think we�re smaller than that.>

<Ah. Then you should make appropriate adjustments to the equation. For example, if you are a sixteenth of an inch - and that would be my best estimate - that translates as point-zero-six-two-five inches, divided by nine hundred and sixty, which would make your flea morph point-zero-zero-zero-zero-six-five-one inches.>

�How big is point-zero-zero-zero-zero-six?� I asked Marco.

�Bigger than a virus, smaller than a period,� he muttered.

<No way,> Tobias said.

Then Ax said, 

<Okay, so we don�t become fleas. I didn�t want to morph a flea anyway. That�s not the problem. What are we supposed to do?>

�First thing is to get you guys somewhere safe,� Jake said. �Then -�

�Ah! Ax, morph to human!� I heard Rachel yell. �Cassie�s dad is coming!�

Ax is very good at doing math in his head, and also, Ax is going to meet Cassie's dad disguised as somebody besides Jake,

Chapter 12

quote:

�Run! It�s my dad!� I yelled, and started running, stumbling across the endless plain of rocks and boulders.

�Hey! Why are you running? It�s not like he�ll notice us.�

�Who�s gonna stop him from stepping on us?�

�Aaaahhh! Run!�

We ran. Or at least Marco and I did. Tobias flew. And there came all around us a huge, stomping sound. WHUMPF! WHUMPF! WHUMPF! My father�s footsteps.

�Jake?� my father said. �Rachel? What are you two doing here? Is Cassie around?�

�Um � no,� Jake said. �At least� no.�

�We came here looking for her,� Rachel said. �She�s not here.�

�Were you supposed to meet her?�

�Hello!� a new voice said quite suddenly. Ax! He must have managed to morph to human. I cringed. Ax as an Andalite was brilliant. But Andalites have no mouths. No ability to make spoken speech and no ability to taste. So Ax as a human - with a mouth - could be slightly odd.

�Hello,� my dad said guardedly. �Do I know you?�

�I do not know whether you know me,� Ax said. �Only you would be able to answer that question.�

Then he added, �Chun. Quess-chun.�

�I � I don�t think I do know you,� my father said slowly. �Why were you hiding behind that cage?�

�I did not wish you to see me,� Ax said. �But now you may see me.�

There was a long pause. �Ooookay,� my father said at last.

�I am a friend of Cassie�s,� Ax offered.

�From school?�

�From school? Skuh-ool? Sss-cooool. Yes. From school. School-luh.�

Meanwhile, I was running and stumbling and banging my knees on particles of dirt. Marco was right beside me and Tobias was flying along above us.

We were running flat-out. We were probably going like two feet an hour. Then �

WHUMPF!

�Ahhh!� Jake yelled. �Um, look out where you�re going!�

�Why?� my father asked.

�Because I � because I ��

�He thought he saw a nail,� Rachel said. �I thought I saw a nail, too. Ax, didn�t you see a nail?�

�What is a nail? Nay-yul? Is it similar to mail?�

�Is he all right?� my father asked.

�Who, Ax? Sure, he�s fine,� Jake said. �He�s just from a different country.�

I groaned. �Oh, no, now my dad�ll ask -�

�Oh, very interesting. Ax? What country are you from?�

�I am from the Republic of Ivory Coast.�

�Oh, man,� I moaned. �Why did I ever give him that World Almanac?�

�You know, if you don�t mind my saying so, you don�t look like you�d be from the Ivory Coast,� my father said. He was getting that edge he gets in his voice when someone is slowly but surely beginning to grind his last nerve.

�How about Equatorial Guinea? The Republic of Kyrgyzstan? Canada?�

�Tell you what,� my father said, �let�s just go with Canada.�

�I am from Canada. I am Canadese.�

�Well, I think old Ax is handling that pretty well,� Marco said brightly. �You�d never guess he was an alien. An idiot, maybe. Alien, no.�

�How about if you kids just go on home? I�ll tell Cassie you came by.�

�Leave?� Jake asked, sounding panicked.

�Yes, leave,� my father said in his deep, this-is-your-father-talking-and-I�ve-taken-all-I�m-gonna-take voice.

They didn�t argue. What could they say? We heard their stomping feet as they walked off.

Then, much closer, my father�s humongous feet, roughly ten football fields long, WHAM-ing around. Just ahead was a gigantic horizontal tube. The bottom bar of a cage. We ran beneath its shelter and cowered there, gasping for breath after our three-inch run.

�That is one strange kid,� I heard my father mutter. �Need to talk to Cassie about that one.�

Then he must have scuffed his shoe. I saw the vast, rounded front of his boot, a fifteen-story-tall hump of leather, come winging toward us.

It hit the dirt. And kicked up a small amount of dust. A few tablespoons of dirt, no more. Just enough to bury us alive!

To be fair, Ax could, I'd imagine, be a bit much to take.

# ? Jul 3, 2021 03:41

Remalle: Feb 12, 2020

Weirdly enough, I think "I am Canadese" is the one phrase from this entire series that's most solidly entered my lexicon. Totally forgot it was from this book!

# ? Jul 3, 2021 04:21

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Ax's mental math aside, I'm impressed by Marco. I definitely don't know the size of a virus in inches. Or any other measurement for that matter.

# ? Jul 3, 2021 07:24

Skellybones: May 31, 2011; Fun Shoe

0.00006 inches is 15 microns, and a human body cell is 50 microns across. So yeah that's around the range where you could plausibly be eaten by a microbe or maybe a very very small bug.

# ? Jul 3, 2021 09:19

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

"Fools!" sneers Visser 3, morphing a tardigrade

# ? Jul 3, 2021 13:43

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 13

quote:

I was buried in rock!

I gasped, desperate for air. But then I realized I was having no trouble breathing. The space between grains of dirt was plenty large enough for me to get air.

But how was I going to dig my way out? Some of the rocks pinning me down felt as large as I was. I say �felt� because I couldn�t see anything.

I pushed against one large rock that was pressed right into my stomach. I didn�t expect it to move, but it did.

I wormed my legs up so I could get my feet positioned against the rock. Then I pushed with all my might.

The rock moved. In fact, it didn�t just move, I felt it pushing other rocks aside. Now there was a little, open space. I could even see a minuscule triangle of light.

I pushed against other rocks and gradually the opening widened. Suddenly, a face filled the opening.

�Oh, there you are,� Marco said.

He began to dig me out. I stuck my head up out of the dirt. And, like they were nothing, I saw him lifting grains of dirt that should have weighed more than he did.

I clambered out and bent down to lift one of the rocks myself. To my shock, I could do it.

�This is amazing,� I said, holding a boulder the size of a beach ball over my head.

�I know,� Marco agreed with a laugh. �It�s because we�re small. You know, like how ants can lift things bigger than they are? Or how fleas can jump a hundred times their own height? I guess we have that same thing going on.�

Tobias swooped down from high in the air - probably three or four inches. 

�This doesn�t make sense, does it?� I asked.

Marco shrugged. �I don�t know. Later we can ask Ax.�

<Actually, it does make sense because the bigger you get, your muscles and stuff have to increase geometrically. It�s like birds. Little birds can beat their wings a hundred times a minute. A bigger bird can�t.>

�That�s speed, not strength,� I pointed out. �But maybe it�s true, anyway. I mean, look how tiny gymnasts have to be. Rachel�s always saying she can�t do as well on uneven bars because she�s so tall.�

�That has to do with rotation, doesn�t it? Is that the same as strength? And excuse me, but why are we sitting around having a science class when we�re the size of dust?� Marco asked.

�What should we do?� I asked him.

We were sitting in what was probably a quarter-inch depression, like a shallow bowl. We couldn�t see much but dirt boulders and the big cage bar above us.

�Well � I don�t know. All I know is: We�re small. We are very, very small.� He brightened.

�But we�re strong. We could play catch with some dirt boulders.�

<We should probably stay put till Jake can come back to get us.>

�I�m worried my folks will wonder where I am,� I said.

�Jake will take care of that. Somehow. And we haven�t exactly been gone long.�

I sighed. I looked at Marco and sighed some more. It was weird. He looked like regular, old Marco. Regular, old Marco, lounging around on boulders with a monstrous, sky-blocking, horizontal steel bar over his head.

WHUMPF! WHUMPF! WHUMPF!

My father was walking by. He seemed to be heading out of the barn. �I�m hungry,� Marco said.

<Me, too. And what�s my prey now? What�s small enough for me to eat? A flu germ?>

And that�s when they appeared over the edge of the shallow depression. A dozen of them. Their heads were all we saw at first. They were perfectly flat on top, quite wide. From that flat top their faces came down in a sort of squashed inverted pyramid to a hooked, barbed chin. Eyes sat atop the flat heads like big green marbles that looked like they could roll off at any moment. Their mouthparts looked insectlike, with gnashing sideways teeth.

As they climbed all the way into view I could see that they were dressed in silvery, one-piece suits, covering bodies that were almost human, if you overlooked the extra set of legs. The suits had turquoise collars.

�Well, you could eat them,� Marco suggested to Tobias.

<We are the Mighty Helmacrons of the Planet Crusher, the deadliest ship in the glorious Helmacron fleet!> one of the group announced. <Surrender to us now and live as our degraded beasts of burden. Or resist us and be utterly annihilated!>

They were about the same size we were. Maybe a sixteenth of an inch. And my first inclination was to burst out laughing. These characters actually thought they were going to conquer the world. But then they raised their handheld ray guns at us. And I realized something. Their Dracon beams, or whatever they were, hadn�t hurt me much when I was the size of Mount Everest, but now I was a bug.

The Helmacrons began to advance on us.

�Fight or run away?� Marco muttered.

He was looking at me. I turned to Tobias. Tobias looked at Marco.

�Boy, you miss Jake when he�s not around to make the life-and-death decisions,� Marco said ruefully.

Fortunately, we were spared a decision. Because now a new group of Helmacrons, this time with magenta uniform collars, came racing up from behind us.

<These are the rightful prisoners of the Galaxy Blaster. Stand back, you cowards, and let true Helmacron heroes gather up their just booty!>

�We�re just booty?� Marco said with a nervous giggle.

The standoff was complete. Two groups of Helmacrons, each with weapons pointed at us, but glaring at each other with their green marble eyes.

Then the cavalry arrived.

Helmacron jurisdictional responsibilities aside, this is the other side of the square-cube law that we talked about in another book (about the problem with human sized cockroach Marco). As something grows, its volume grows a lot faster than its surface area. So, smaller animals are stronger relative to their size than large ones.

Chapter 14

quote:

They were gigantic. They were brown Godzillas. They were � cockroaches.

Their antennae were hundred-foot-long bull-whips. Their legs were jointed telephone poles.

They were vast, overpowering, terrifying machines made of five-inch-thick armor.

They towered over us, two humongous, clanking cockroaches. I mean, you think you know how gross cockroaches are. But you know nothing till you�ve seen a cockroach literally the size of a Wal-Mart. Next time you go to a Wal-Mart or K Mart or Target or a big grocery store, stand out in front and look at it and think �cockroach.�

They were very, very big.

And they didn�t smell very good, either.

<Hi, it�s us,> Jake said.

<You just scared the pee out of us!> Tobias answered. <Can you see us down here?>

<No, our eyes aren�t very good, as you know. But Ax can see you. He led us to you.>

<Ax?> Tobias asked.

�Ax?� Marco and I said, looking at each other. Then slowly, very slowly, we turned.

Ax.

A wolf spider.

�AAAAHHHH!�

�AAAAHHHH!�

It didn�t matter that we knew it was Ax. My brain wasn�t working. My legs turned to jelly. I sat down very hard, very fast.

You cannot begin to conceive of how terrifying that sight was.

Twice as tall as the roaches. With eight legs, each the size of the Saint Louis arch. Gnashing, wickedly sharp mouthparts that looked like the gates of hell. A swollen, stinking, bloated, hairy body.

But none of that was what made Marco and Tobias and me shake with uncontrollable fear.

It was the eyes.

Eight of them. Some were glittering, multifaceted compound eyes. Others were blank, dead, black simple eyes. The smallest ones looked bigger than we were.

And that face, that evil, staring face �

I could feel that image being laser-printed directly onto my brain. I would never forget it. If I lived a hundred years, I would be seeing that face.

<Hello,> Ax said. <Did I make an error when I said I was Canadese?>

�Ax, I hope you have control over that morph,� I said.

I tried to look away and figure out how the Helmacrons were reacting, but there was just no looking away from those eight big eyeballs.

However, the Helmacrons were reacting.

<Do you think to terrify us with your pitiful morphs? We are Helmacron warriors!>

They were yelling this as they hustled away at top speed.

<Ax, make sure they keep running,> Jake said calmly.

Ax turned, a movement that made me yelp in fear. But at least those eyes were aimed somewhere else.

�Yuh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uk,� Marco shuddered. �Man, I did not need to see that. That�s worth about thirty nights of waking up screaming in a cold sweat.�

Ax took off after the Helmacrons, jerky but swift, and as evil-looking a creation as I ever hope to see.

His lower half was obscured by the lumpy dirt around us when �

TSEEEEEW! TSEEEEEW!

<Aaaahhhhh!> Ax cried.

I forgot my fear and ran up the slope to see over the lip of the depression. There, hovering just a quarter inch above the dirt, was one of the Helmacron ships.

Ax twisted in apparent agony, his mile-high legs flailing madly in pure reflex. He turned toward us and then I saw the smoking, sizzling, burned-meat-smelling eye that had been incinerated by the Helmacron ship.

TSEEEEW! TSEEEEW!

They fired again, point-blank range, and all four of the legs on the left side of Ax�s spider body were cut in two. He fell from the sky like some slow-motion asteroid. The severed legs toppled slowly over, like impossibly tall trees.

<Demorph!> Jake shouted. <Ax! Demorph!>

We had made a deadly mistake. It was all a question of size. The Helmacrons were laughable when we were big. But down here, at this scale, they were as dangerous as Yeerks.

Yep, all a question of size. But they had been in the habit of underestimating the Helmacrons because of their relative sizes when they first made contact.

# ? Jul 4, 2021 05:16

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

I remember this book somewhat but I totally forgot Tobias gets shrunk too, I thought it was just Cassie and Ax.

Another thing I mistakenly remembered was how frequently they use their diverse arsenal of morphs. I remembered each book introducing some Morph of the Week that then gets forgotten, and they go back to their battle/raptor/seagull/roach/fly rotation, but Ax has cracked out the wolf spider quite a few times now, and Rachel morphs elephant way more than I remember.

# ? Jul 4, 2021 06:40

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

God I had forgotten about this book but I fuckin hate it

# ? Jul 4, 2021 09:01

Bibliotechno Music: Dec 30, 2008

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

God I had forgotten about this book but I fuckin hate it

Wrong, this book is awesome. O great leaders, this forums poster has maligned us! We will soon crush them, along with all those who oppose the mighty Helmacron!

# ? Jul 4, 2021 16:35

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 15

quote:

�Neep! Neep! Neep!�

A triumphant cry went up from the Helmacrons. A spoken cry, as opposed to their usual thoughtspeak.

POOMPF!

Ax hit the ground,

<Ax, demorph!> Jake yelled.

 Ax said. He sounded pretty calm, under the circumstances. As he well knew, if you die in morph, you die, period.

<Cassie, Marco, over here!> Jake yelled. <We�ll carry you out of AAAAAHHHH!>

The second Helmacron ship had fired from behind. Jake�s cockroach antennae were severed. It was like someone cutting a power line. The falling antennae whipped around like cables.

Tobias was in the air. He might survive Ax�s demorphing, but there was no way Marco and I would. And if Ax didn�t demorph, the next blast from the Helmacrons might finish him.

�Marco! We have to surrender!� I yelled, grabbing his arm.

�What?�

�We can escape later. Ax has to demorph! Jake and Rachel, too. The Helmacrons will stop firing long enough to take us.�

He looked furious. But he knew I was right. He shook off my arm and began waving at the closest Helmacrons.

�Mighty Helmacrons, make us your slaves! We fear your might!�

They hesitated, probably sensing a trap. But they could see that Ax was helpless. That Jake was injured.

Four of the little monsters came racing out to grab us. Up close, they gave an even more bizarre impression of being half-human, half-insect. We knew that in reality they were minuscule, but to us they seemed big enough. They kept their weapons leveled at us as they quick-marched us toward their ship.

The ship settled down all the way to the ground. It was very big at this scale. It may have seemed like a toy to us before, but now it was immense, bigger than a Yeerk Pool ship. There would be room for hundreds, if not thousands, of Helmacrons on board.

<Up, up, up!> one of the Helmacrons shouted, shoving me up the ramp that had lowered from the ship.

I ran as well as I could with Helmacrons shoving me, yanking me, pushing me.

The ramp began to move while we were still on it. I looked around and realized that Marco and I were rising up into a vast, open hangar area. To the left and right, what looked like smaller fighter ships were hanging from racks. Perhaps a dozen of them on each side.

<Ah-hah! You see our might and tremble!>

�I see your might. Where�s your tremble?� Marco said. The Helmacrons stared with their wobbly, marble eyes.

�Oh, no. We�re prisoners of creatures with no sense of humor,� Marco said.

<You are slaves now, aboard the glorious Helmacron ship Planet Crusher. We will take you to our captain. You will crawl!>

Two of the creepy little aliens shoved me down onto my knees. It didn�t hurt at all, even though I felt like it should. But then, I was about the size of a large flea. I didn�t exactly fall very far.

And it was weirdly easy to crawl. It was what I was starting to think of as the �insect effect.�

When you�re tiny, it�s easier to be strong. I was able to scoot along on my knees quite easily.

It was a good thing, because we crawled a long way. The ship felt like it was a mile long. Down brightly lit corridors and up ramps and across narrow bridges that spanned huge mechanical facilities of some sort, we crawled.

It was a noisy ship. Clanging and pounding and groaning. It was intensely bright as well. Far brighter than any human would find comfortable.

Finally, we seemed to have arrived. We entered a room with a dome ceiling and shallow bowl floor. In the center of the room stood a single Helmacron. Beams of light illuminated him like a movie star on Oscar night. He looked like any of the Helmacrons, except for the fact that he was wearing a flowing, gold cape.

And there was one other difference.

�He�s dead,� I said.

�He�s about as dead as you can be,� Marco agreed.

The Helmacron captain did not move. Did not breathe. His eyes did not look at us. He was covered with what looked a lot like bread mold and cobwebs.

What was worse, it was fairly obvious how he�d died. His arms and four legs were shackled, bolted to the deck. Three long, steel swords were sticking through his body. It all looked very ceremonial.

And it looked �

�Insane,� Marco muttered. �These guys are nuts.�

They met the captain!

Chapter 16

quote:

O Greatest of the Great, Most Magnificent of the Magnificent, we have taken two of the strange, transforming aliens prisoner! They tremble before us! They abase themselves! They quiver in cowardly terror! And it should be noted that the Galaxy Blaster was of no help whatsoever.
- From the log of the Helmacron ship, Planet Crusher

<Grovel before the captain!>

Marco looked at me. �How do you grovel? I�ve never groveled before.�

I shrugged.

<Grovel!>

�We don�t know how,� I told the closest Helmacron. �I mean, you know, different folks, different customs. Maybe you could show us.�

They looked at one another. Then the one I�d spoken to said, <You may grovel in the style of your own people. Grovel as you normally grovel.>

I saw the sly gleam in Marco�s eye. �You heard the man, Cassie. Let�s grovel.�

He scooted his legs forward, lay on his back, stuck his hands behind his head, and relaxed like he was at the beach soaking up sun.

�I grovel before the mighty Helmacron captain, most mighty of the mighty, undisputed champion of the world in the dust-weight category! We grovel like the pitiful losers we are! We grovel like a guy who hasn�t got a date the day before the prom and the only girl around is the head cheerleader, that�s how much we grovel. Cassie, you could join in any time, you know.�

�We grovel � um, like grovelers.�

Marco turned his head to shoot me a disdainful look. �Oh, good groveling. Put some feeling into it.�

�I grovel like, uh � like a person who is really, really groveling,� I said lamely.

Meanwhile, Marco was, of course, getting into it. After all, he had an audience.

�O mighty Helmacron dead guy, we grovel like a video game addict trapped in an arcade without a quarter, that�s how much we grovel. You would not believe the depths of our grovelry! We grovel like a guy with a large order of fries and the only saltshaker is at the table of the school bully. We grovel -�

<Enough! Now you will tell us the location of the power source.>

�The blue box?� I inquired.

<Yes, the blue box of transforming power!>

�I don�t know where it is. One of my friends must have taken it and hidden it.�

<Friends?>

�Yes, the others like us. The others we were with.�

<Turn on the external viewer!>

Suddenly, the entire dome ceiling lit up with a three-dimensional view of the inside of the barn. I saw Jake, Rachel, and Ax. All alive, all back in their own forms. They were glaring angrily at the ship we were in.

The viewscreen zoomed in to magnify a very tiny Tobias, sitting perched on Rachel�s shoulder.

<Which one of them knows the location of the blue box?>

I was incredibly relieved that they were all apparently okay. I hoped Tobias was okay, too. Although he was obviously still small-size. There was no way we were going to put one of them on the spot.

<Which one!> the Helmacron screamed. <The one with four eyes? The one with wings? The one with hideous blue eyes? Or the larger one?>

�None of them,� Marco said. �The other one. The one who�s not here.�

I nodded solemnly. �Yes, the other one.�

We had no idea what we were talking about, of course. But then the Helmacrons actually sort of supplied the answer.

<Do not attempt to deceive us! Our sensors reveal those who radiate with the transforming energy. We will find anyone who bears that energy signature!>

Marco and I stole a glance at each other.

�Transforming energy � you mean, you can tell who has the morphing power?� Marco asked.

<We are the Helmacrons, lords of the galaxy! Our science and technology are vastly superior. We can easily penetrate your simple disguises and see the transforming power at work.>

�They can tell people who are able to morph,� I said to Marco. I had to resist the urge to giggle.

But for once, Marco had not yet figured out what I had just figured out.

�O mighty masters,� I said, �we were fools to imagine we could deceive you. There is only one other like us on this planet. Only one other who possesses the transforming power! It is he who has the blue box of transforming power. It is he whom you must find. It is he whom you must defeat!�

<We will crush him beneath us like the lowliest of creatures! He will grovel before us for an eternity of days!>

Marco still looked puzzled.

�There�s no point trying to hide him from the Helmacrons, Marco,� I said. �There is only one other morph-capable creature on Earth. And the Helmacrons are just going to have to destroy him.�

Suddenly, the light went on in Marco�s head. �Visser Three?�

I nodded, feeling very pleased with myself. �Visser Three.�

I mean, I think this is pretty clever. Cassie's going with an "enemy of my enemy" strategy.. Also, the Helmacrons are very dramatic.

# ? Jul 5, 2021 06:10

Gwaihir: Dec 8, 2009; Hair Elf

I never got this far in the series when it was current and my god I'm loving how absurdly silly this book is.

# ? Jul 5, 2021 06:49

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Yeah, this book has just wrapped back around to good.

# ? Jul 5, 2021 07:01

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

Helmacron leadership has always stuck with me as a near perfect last ditch revolutionary option. they seem newly spacefaring. I'm so curious about how they evolved.

# ? Jul 5, 2021 07:46

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Yeah, this book has just wrapped back around to good.

I have no idea what you all are talking about, this book was never bad? :confused:

# ? Jul 5, 2021 08:32

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:09

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Gwaihir posted:

I never got this far in the series when it was current and my god I'm loving how absurdly silly this book is.

KA is clearly having fun with it.

Although I remember the ending, and it's also very clearly one of the books in the series where they picked out a neat new animal to morph and reverse-engineered the book around that.

# ? Jul 5, 2021 08:59

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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