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Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
thinking about Dad and it's not enough

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Popputan

Mahou Shoujo brainrot syndrome. It's terminal.
think about somethin' scary. It'll make you'r blood run cold so no more hot blood will be circulating in your penis. Here i'll help; BOO!!

Finger Prince


True story: our high school wood shop class made dildos on the lathe for the sex ed class so everyone could practice putting on condoms.

Robot Made of Meat

Have you tried meowing like a cat and crawling out of the room backward on all fours?


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

biosterous




Finger Prince posted:

True story: our high school wood shop class made dildos on the lathe for the sex ed class so everyone could practice putting on condoms.

this loving rules



thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!
gallery of sigs


he/him

Ventral EggSac

Think about the grain of the wood, how it flows down the board in waves. Sometimes the waves meet, and oh, oh my it looks like the wood grain spreading its legs, oh, I see why they call you Pine, cause girl you got me pining for you

FutonForensic

never tell a man with a circular saw that you need a bonerr removed quickly


Gramps


Areola Grande posted:

thinking about Dad and it's not enough

Just flex both your legs as hard as you can it'll steal all the blood from your peepee. You'll be limp as a noodle and free to go back to nailing together your birdhouse/gluing together your cutting board before you know it

Zil

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Gramps posted:

Just flex both your legs as hard as you can it'll steal all the blood from your peepee. You'll be limp as a noodle and free to go back to nailing together your birdhouse/gluing together your cutting board before you know it

The true life hax right here

Percy Teatwillow

let us go out this evening for pleasure, for the night is still young
just own it. walk up there like “THIS IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY. PLEASE DO NOT STARE AT MY ERECTION.”


THANK U Heather Papps !!

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'gently caress off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
Prof. Crocodile

Percy Teatwillow posted:

just own it. walk up there like “THIS IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY. PLEASE DO NOT STARE AT MY ERECTION.”

this is basically what lost me my seat in the US House of Representatives.

cruft

FutonForensic posted:

never tell a man with a circular saw that you need a bonerr removed quickly

who's that orb with the new chainsaw?

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
gloryhole

thats what they installed them for

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

Luvcow posted:

gloryhole

thats what they installed them for

watho


The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

*slamming the gigantic red “boner emergency” button on the table saw*



https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

watho posted:

*slamming the gigantic red “boner emergency” button on the table saw*

running to the op with a large sheet of 4'x8' plywood, holding up one finger to say "wait!", picking up my cordless drill with the 3" hole saw bit attached and drilling a proper glory hole, holding up my finger again, changing bits to a sanding tool and then carefully smoothing the edges of the hole, holding up my finger one last time, applying a generous amount of duct tape around the edges to make sure it's smooth and splinter free, motioning to someone to bring me a chair and then asking them to stay and prop up the plywood sheet as i sit down on the other side... waiting pensively...

Zil

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Luvcow posted:

running to the op with a large sheet of 4'x8' plywood, holding up one finger to say "wait!", picking up my cordless drill with the 3" hole saw bit attached and drilling a proper glory hole, holding up my finger again, changing bits to a sanding tool and then carefully smoothing the edges of the hole, holding up my finger one last time, applying a generous amount of duct tape around the edges to make sure it's smooth and splinter free, motioning to someone to bring me a chair and then asking them to stay and prop up the plywood sheet as i sit down on the other side... waiting pensively...

Wait 3 inches?

Is...isn't that too big?



Thanks to Dumb Sex-Parrot for the Christmas citrusy sig!

more falafel please posted:

just turn that impostor syndrome into "I'm Poster" syndrome

Finger Prince


Gramps


Zil posted:

Wait 3 inches?

Is...isn't that too big?

that is discriminatory against tuna cans, assorted chodes and other comedy penis options

Robot Made of Meat


The worst kielbasa slicer in history.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

Vei
my go-to is thinking about being forced, at gunpoint, to use a can full of razors like a fleshlight in front of my dead grandma

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
:concerned:

your friend sk

(ヤイケス!)


just throw your boner on the lathe and you can disguise it as a table leg or w/e


Join the BYOB Army


thank you again Saoshyant!!

google THIS

Finger Prince posted:

True story: our high school wood shop class made dildos on the lathe for the sex ed class so everyone could practice putting on condoms.

It's not often you can get an A for giving your teacher a D

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

google THIS posted:

It's not often you can get an A for giving your teacher a D

speak 4 urself pal :grin:

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free
It's the drill press isn't it, stop using the drill press

used to happen to me all the time, it's a very suggestive machine

Escape From Noise

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Have you tried meowing like a cat and crawling out of the room backward on all fours?

Goldmine

Escape From Noise

Prof. Crocodile posted:

this is basically what lost me my seat in the US House of Representatives.

Oooohhh! You said election year! My mistake!

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
still at half mast but no longer at school. never thought a huge throbbing boner would be the final straw but here we are. Selling my house and dog tomorrow

:boom:

I attribute my outcome to the brave posters ITT.
TYVM. U can't win em all



tyvm Justa Dandelion and Ravenous Scoot

Escape From Noise

If you can't beat it, join it.

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free
I heard shop class was hard, but this is ridiculous!

watho


The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

time to practice pirouettes right next to the band saw. i sure hope i don’t get an instant throbbing erection now



https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig

Finger Prince


Escape From Noise posted:

If you can't beat it, join it.

Weka

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Next time fashion yourself a skeleton costume. Nobody is surprised to see a boner on a skeleton.

Escape From Noise

Hope for the best, prepare for the boner.

your friend sk

(ヤイケス!)


Escape From Noise posted:

If you can't beat it, join it.


Join the BYOB Army


thank you again Saoshyant!!

google THIS

Areola Grande posted:

speak 4 urself pal :grin:

With the superintendent's approval, I mean

canyoneer


I only have canyoneyes for you

Gramps posted:

Just flex both your legs as hard as you can it'll steal all the blood from your peepee. You'll be limp as a noodle and free to go back to nailing together your birdhouse/gluing together your cutting board before you know it

i'm a grown man and am just now hearing of this discreet method to get rid of nuisance boners

Gramps


canyoneer posted:

i'm a grown man and am just now hearing of this discreet method to get rid of nuisance boners

I only learned about it a few years ago. Should be part of 6th grade health class curriculum for sure

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Escape From Noise

A no kill shelter for unwanted boners.

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