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He's a "New College Hire", so he's probably in his early/mid twenties. I think maybe it's because he started while we were still fully remote so he's like, "I wanna get to know the rest of the team."
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Aug 5, 2021 21:10
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Give that poindexter a swirlie stat
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Aug 5, 2021 21:17
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sephiRoth IRA posted:I received an offer for an internal promotion. Great news, right? It absolutely is! Only I can't sign any of the offer documentation because they sent it via Adobe Sign and apparently I don't have access to Adobe sign. I called IT, and it took 20 minutes to for them to figure this out. They gave me a form to request access, which may take up to seven(!) Business days to fulfill. Oh yes I've got similar problems with a program called DocuSign. I'm on my third IT ticket telling them I don't have access to actually do stuff on it, each time they just close my ticket and say they've done it.
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Aug 5, 2021 21:31
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Batterypowered7 posted:Oh my loving GOD We had a guy suggest we implement the email signatures saying "This email is for recipient only, delete if blablabla". Apparently he wasn't satisified with just "Regards, me" like normal people do.
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Aug 5, 2021 21:46
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I sort of missed the phishing topic, but I once got to report a legitimate HR email as phishing. Not really because it seemed suspicious, but because every single link had a note saying “(this link is NOT phishing)” next to it. It’s like your new weed dealer saying “I’m not a cop” within 30 seconds of meeting him. Dude’s definitely a cop.
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Aug 5, 2021 21:50
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Oh man that's bad. I swear I'm not a total misanthrope and have befriended and hung out with some coworkers in the past, but crap like this goes from "fun teambuilding" to "do it or you're being insubordinate and maybe you'll lose your income and health insurance if Hyrax doesn't share what he's grateful for four times a week." If you have to tell a story I say give the people a story: My AA meeting was really interesting this week, turns out my dad is an alcoholic too! We visited my grandmother's grave but it had been vandalized by kids, my grandfather cried. This week I took my therapist's advice and confronted the man who abused me but now he's senile and doesn't remember.
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Aug 5, 2021 22:27
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Outrail posted:If you have to tell a story I say give the people a story: I was in the office all week, even on the weekend. If someone were to ask you where I was or if you'd seen me you should feel comfortable telling then I was in the office. Because that's where I was, in the office.
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Aug 5, 2021 22:45
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Up until recently I worked at the worst FAANG and I still wake up at night thinking about it. Our Great Leader was super into the concept of "narratives" -- everything had to be a narrative. At first I was like, this is great! Dense reading material and high standards for writing instead of Powerpoints and email threads! No. We had weekly and monthly business reviews where one might spend up to an entire day perfecting the wording of a single-paragraph update for leadership. By the end of the day, a manager would review it and probably entirely rewrite it to their liking. Never any changes to the data, just rewriting it in their own voice. Their manager would then review it, and ask for more supporting data to be stuffed into the paragraph or the appendix. This would get added to the full WBR/MBR document with every other team's status updates (usually 20+ updates), to be reviewed by a group of 50+ people simultaneously over video chat. In the 1-2 hour meeting (moved last minute to 7PM), the reviewers would make it through half of the document if they were lucky. Sometimes they would fixate on the first item or two never even getting to the rest, and several days worth of people-hours would have gone to waste. If they did get to yours, there was a 0% chance that anyone would be interested in either escalating your issue, congratulating you, or looking to collaborate. There was a 100% chance that they would discuss whether the data your manager's manager asked you to add was really relevant to the update, and then be rushed along to the next status update once it became abundantly clear that no one wanted to discuss the issue being reported. I lasted less than a year.
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Aug 5, 2021 23:35
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TacticalHoodie posted:Is there a polite way to tell headhunters to gently caress off? I have the same woman contacting me about a payroll position at the call center I left 5 years ago. Everytime she does I have nightmares of this company buying my current employer out and forcing me to work in the call center because of restructuring. I also get the panic attacks due to the mental and physical abuse of supervisors and managers. A file called resume.pdf containing only hello.jpg, depending on how badly you'd like to burn your bridges. Shuu posted:Up until recently I worked at the worst FAANG and I still wake up at night thinking about it.  That honestly sounds horrific.
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Aug 6, 2021 00:26
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Gonna guess Amazon
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Aug 6, 2021 01:10
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Sonic Dude posted:I sort of missed the phishing topic, but I once got to report a legitimate HR email as phishing. Not really because it seemed suspicious, but because every single link had a note saying “(this link is NOT phishing)” next to it. lol. We had a mass phishing reporting after someone used some sketchy invitation card site to send out notice for a organization-wide event. The URL in the email looked something like: cashforyoureyes.info/RussianBrides/SocialSecurityAgency/stepbro/CompanyNameAnnualLunchRSVP
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Aug 6, 2021 01:31
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AHH F/UGH posted:Gonna guess Amazon I feel like Netflix is objectively the worst FAANG as they're only there to not be FAAG.
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Aug 6, 2021 02:59
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TacticalHoodie posted:Is there a polite way to tell headhunters to gently caress off? I have the same woman contacting me about a payroll position at the call center I left 5 years ago. Everytime she does I have nightmares of this company buying my current employer out and forcing me to work in the call center because of restructuring. I also get the panic attacks due to the mental and physical abuse of supervisors and managers. Block their email and phone number.
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Aug 6, 2021 03:22
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I keep getting calls from people in the UK asking if I want to use their recruiting firm to hire for the company I work for. I do not live in the UK or manage HR. They call during meetings so I tell them Im in a meeting, call later Not a single one of these companies ever calls me back.
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Aug 6, 2021 03:27
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AHH F/UGH posted:Gonna guess Amazon lol yes
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Aug 6, 2021 03:37
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My Amazon sense was tingling from like the first paragraph. This company sucks.
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Aug 6, 2021 03:43
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CarForumPoster posted:I feel like Netflix is objectively the worst FAANG as they're only there to not be FAAG. other countries call it GAFAM
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Aug 6, 2021 08:58
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Barudak posted:I keep getting calls from people in the UK asking if I want to use their recruiting firm to hire for the company I work for. I do not live in the UK or manage HR. They call during meetings so I tell them Im in a meeting, call later Does their name start with a V?
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Aug 6, 2021 10:29
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Biowarfare posted:other countries call it GAFAM I thought they called it NAFAG
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Aug 6, 2021 16:28
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Employees love when management is coy about return to office delays. Oh, maybe we'll announce something big this week during the Friday video meeting! Gotta tune in to find out! Not like employees need that info as soon as possible to plan their lives or childcare.
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Aug 6, 2021 17:44
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Batterypowered7 posted:He's a "New College Hire", so he's probably in his early/mid twenties. I think maybe it's because he started while we were still fully remote so he's like, "I wanna get to know the rest of the team." Yep and there's nothing wrong with that. The thing is that it shouldn't be a manager sanctioned thing done during meetings or whatever. If dude wants to get to know people then let's hang out offline and do a happy hour something.
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Aug 6, 2021 18:38
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Employees love when management is coy about return to office delays. Oh, maybe we'll announce something big this week during the Friday video meeting! Gotta tune in to find out! Not like employees need that info as soon as possible to plan their lives or childcare. They're not just doing it to be coy, they're doing it because even they don't know for sure what's going to happen. I'm on a team involved in helping with certain office return aspects and we don't hear poo poo before it's announced to everyone via an email.
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Aug 6, 2021 18:41
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Volmarias posted:They're not just doing it to be coy, they're doing it because even they don't know for sure what's going to happen. I'm on a team involved in helping with certain office return aspects and we don't hear poo poo before it's announced to everyone via an email. Oh I agree if a manager tells their team they don't have any updates and that's the truth its understandable. It's a different boat when our leadership hints "you won't want to miss this meeting" just to boost their viewcount.
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Aug 6, 2021 19:01
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That's how you convince people to not bother turning up to future talks.
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Aug 6, 2021 22:06
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Lol I have never once attended a single non-mandatory meeting in my life, as far as I can recall. Unfortunately, almost every work meeting I've been "invited" to has been mandatory. But if it weren't, I'd just ask some other
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Aug 7, 2021 00:09
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The real reason middle managers want butts in seats is so they can bribe people to show up to quarterly all hands with pizza so somebody will show up to listen to how smart they are.
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Aug 7, 2021 00:17
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zedprime posted:The real reason middle managers want butts in seats is so they can bribe people to show up to quarterly all hands with pizza so somebody will show up to listen to how smart they are convinced that they are.
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Aug 7, 2021 00:35
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Cheesus posted:Fixed. I think that was implied. And yes, I subscribe to the all hands meeting attendance policy of "I'll just ask someone who went if there was anything important afterwards"
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Aug 7, 2021 01:13
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I go to quite a few, we can discount the time.
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Aug 7, 2021 01:21
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Employees love when management is coy about return to office delays. Oh, maybe we'll announce something big this week during the Friday video meeting! Gotta tune in to find out! Not like employees need that info as soon as possible to plan their lives or childcare. Cringe. I had more professional-sounding managers when I worked in a dive bar.
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Aug 7, 2021 02:25
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I had employees asking about our upcoming product and its features and if they'd get training on it since nothing was announced. I contacted the team responsible and they got real coy with me so I threatened to escalate until they revealed there would be a surprise mandatory meeting that would cover all of this but not to tell anyone, even the people who were asking, because it was supposed to be a surprise. So I immediately told my team and department because thats loving stupid.
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Aug 7, 2021 02:53
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Non-mandatory meetings are great, we're remote so I can sign in and
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Aug 7, 2021 03:03
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mllaneza posted:Non-mandatory meetings are great, we're remote so I can sign in and Best part is they set your status to "In a Conference" and you don't have to jiggle the mouse every five minutes to stop from showing up as Away.
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Aug 7, 2021 03:10
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Atopian posted:Cringe. Oh yeah when I was frisbee refereeing for minimum wage in a league where some teams smoked on the field the guy running the program needed to handle field reservations, scheduling, track win/losses, and communicate with captains. And if a ref no showed he could do the work himself. Somehow pulled it off without hiring a consultant or implementing Kanban.
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Aug 7, 2021 05:54
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Selklubber posted:We had a guy suggest we implement the email signatures saying "This email is for recipient only, delete if blablabla". Apparently he wasn't satisified with just "Regards, me" like normal people do. I’ve always thought those signatures have big “ORIGINAL IDEA DO NOT STEAL” energy
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Aug 7, 2021 06:09
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Barudak posted:I had employees asking about our upcoming product and its features and if they'd get training on it since nothing was announced. I contacted the team responsible and they got real coy with me so I threatened to escalate until they revealed there would be a surprise mandatory meeting that would cover all of this but not to tell anyone, even the people who were asking, because it was supposed to be a surprise. The only surprise I want from work is if they somehow announce we're getting some money or a prize. Everything needs to be normal and official. Surprises are for children not for people who have to manage their lives.
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Aug 7, 2021 08:16
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I may have told this story but it came back into my head. I had a boss once who was considered a rising star in the company. Out of tens of thousands of employees globally, she was selected to be one of 10 to fly out to Cannes, spend a week there, attend the events, and take seminar training courses with CEOs and other rich corpos and basically be tee'd up for more senior leadership. The seminars in between the fun events for the industry were your usual plattitude bullshits like "envision your passion" "do what you love!" Etc. You know, usual corporate time waster self-fellation. Well after a week of that she must have actually taken that to heart because the first thing she did on returning to the states was put in her two weeks notice because "I realized I don't like my job and don't want to do it for the rest of my life"
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Aug 9, 2021 05:25
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I have put in so many “this person done hosed up” emails I’m called the Terminator. I don’t know pity, remorse, or fear. If you gently caress up on a forklift, I will find you.
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Aug 9, 2021 05:34
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Barudak posted:I may have told this story but it came back into my head. An old CEO once have an "inspiring" speech about how we didn't do this job for the money, after all we were smart people, if we wanted money we'd go and work for a hedge fund Within three months we lost 50% of our applied maths group. All of them joined hedge funds and cited the vast salaries in their exit interviews
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Aug 9, 2021 06:47
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Sure sounds like an inspiring speech to me then! 
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Aug 9, 2021 07:31
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