r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

vonnegutt: Aug 7, 2006; Hobocamp.

The age gap becomes more concerning when it's part of the combo of age gap, signs of unaddressed trauma, and her financial dependence on him. Like 24-32 isn't much of an age gap if they were both fully independent adults to start with but it doesn't sound like that's the deal.

edit: speaking of age gaps, here's another!!

My (f24) husband (m30) threw away all of my bras and replaced them with ones I don't like.

quote:

My husband and I have been together for 3 years total. We got married this last May. We have a normal marriage unlike me he has a high sex drive and pays too much attentions to little details. Being in the mood is not enough for him to initiate. He has certain images or ideas of how everythibg should be.

He recently started commenting on the bras I wear. He's shown dislike towards the type I wear before but he's become brutally honest about his feelings towards them lately.

I wear sports bras (sometimes I don't wear bras at all which gets him mad at me and then he'd lecture me about how inappropriate it is for me to not wear a bra. What he hates the most is when I wear bras he doesn't like because of how childish he thinks they are) I had micky mouse bras,balloons braw, emoji bras etc. He thinks they're not my age and it's not what I should be wearing as a married woman. He was especially mad that I'd wear them in bed when he'd rather I wear "sexy" bras and calls the ones I had "childish" and unattractive. He once ribbed my bra off during sex, don't know if it was deliberate but he apologized later

Days ago I found out that he threw away all the bras I had and replaced them with lacy, demi, and brassiers collection. I didn't like them at all and I was mad because the ones he got me are tight, and thick ones that don't match my taste and are harsh on me and hurt my back and ribs and affect my stance. All of them are ill fitting and it-s like he deliberately chose a smaller size as an attempt to make my boobs look put together.

I had a fight with him about it and he justified himself saying I was wearing stuff that isn't my age and it was such a turn off for him as a married man.

He threw them all and didn't even leave one. Not even the ones I recieved from my deceased mom. I yelled at him and refused to wear the bras he got me and he told me I was being overdramatic and should quit yelling and crying over something so stupid like some teenager then he took his jacket and left after I dared him to make me wear them. He called me crazy for reacting this way instead of being thankful he made this sweet gesture for me and left.

I think that I was too harsh to lash out at him like that instead of listening to him but I just think what he did was so inconsiderate and stepped the line for me.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:12

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 03:00

ghost emoji: Mar 11, 2016; oooOooOOOooh

Colleagues passively-aggressively unfriending me (24M) on Facebook?[new] (self.relationships)

quote:

It's safe to say, the last year has been a rather tough time for me. My family life and resulting anxiety has torn me to shreds, and I've had to take very large amounts of time out. I've basically only been able to half do my job, because of everything that's gone on and the fact I have other people to look after who depend on me, and it's all been a very difficult juggling act.

I was never very popular in my office. How can I say it... it's a very unfriendly work environment. It's full of cliques and divisions, and the people there are just not very friendly. I tried to get in with my group of fellow new-starters, but they rejected me and bullied me out of their group. They made it clear I wasn't welcome and didn't fit in with their group.

This attitude towards me has proliferated throughout the group, so nobody particularly liked me to begin with.

At the beginning, we were all friending each other on Facebook. But I've noticed 2 or 3 of them have unfriended me, and only me.

Due to all the time out I've had, I've become very out of the loop. There was a new procedure set up in place. I accidentally made a couple of blunders due to my lack of knowledge of what was set up when I was away (for eight months!)

One of my higher-ups was very quick to get a bit mad at me for misunderstanding how the procedure works. We cleared it up and I apologized for my lack of understanding. But. Two days later, I saw my friend counter drop by 1. I had a hunch, and I was right. She had unfriended me on Facebook, too, AFTER me and her had cleared up the misunderstanding and I'd apologized.

The very next day, my friend counter fell again. One of her closer colleagues had unfriended me as well.

Really, all this is just confirming what I already knew, that nobody in this place really likes me.

What really ticks me off though is they then just act like nothing is wrong. Some of those who have unfriended me continue to act civil to me, but it is clear that people here, LOTS of people here, seem to have problems with me. There were the couple that basically bullied me out of the social circle, but since then, I've been unfriended by 3 or 4 more people, who seem perfectly civil to me in the group.

It all feels very passive-aggressive. Like, they clearly all have problems with me and are showing this passively-aggressively by unfriending me on facebook. And how do I know this is directed at me? Because they have ONLY unfriended me. Everyone else is still a mutual friend. If someone's unfriended you because they're doing a sweep-out, or because they don't know you anymore, that's fine. But they were not doing sweep-outs, and I am still working with them. And they are personally unfriending me.

I just don't know what to do here. Am I reading too much into this? It's just very upsetting knowing that a number of my colleagues are passively-aggressively showing that they don't like me and I am not welcome in this office.

I've thought about resigning, but my bosses convinced me not to.

tl;dr: I've noticed a lot of people in my office have been unfriending me on Facebook. One unfriended me after a misunderstanding which we cleared up and I apologized for, then one of her colleagues also unfriended me. 3 or 4 times now this has happened, and it's all so passive-aggressive and I don't know what to do.

comments posted:

They are being professional. They are required to be civil to coworkers, but they are not required to interact with them on social media.

OP posted:

They are required to pretend they don't really dislike me. How can I work in this environment knowing they not only don't like me, but actively talk smack about me behind my back??

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:15

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Brawnfire posted:

I remember stopping off at a friend's apartment to like, smoke weed and play geometry wars or some poo poo, on the way home from a restaurant. We had a big fancy pizza and so we put the leftover slices in our friend's fridge for the couple hours we'd be over there.

This roommate comes out and just starts scarfing the slices, he's halfway through his third before he even acknowledges everyone in the room is telling him to stop. Keep in mind, WE are the ones blazed out of our mind, telling someone else not to stuff their face with whatever is in front of them. It was surreal. Dude had a look on his face like "what's wrong with eating FOOD that was IN MY FRIDGE!?"

Are you sure the roommate wasn't a dog, this story makes a lot more sense in that case.

What a fucker.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:21

ghost emoji: Mar 11, 2016; oooOooOOOooh

How do I get my sister's boyfriend to understand that he is taking his self-depreciating jokes too far?[new] (self.relationships)

quote:

My sister (20f)'s boyfriend (20m?) frequently will make joking remarks about how he is trash, or other casually self-depreciating humor, which as a one-off remark might be fine, but then when she responds how most people would - casually disagreeing and saying something like "to me you are not" - he will go into full-on debate mode every time and it turns into like a 10 minute conversation/argument where he will twist her words on her, use little phrasing flaws in bad faith, and talk over her. It doesn't devolve into shouting, but it does get very heated, and it seems to me like my sister gets upset and he will be blind to that because he is so thrilled to be right in his little pity-party, but I've been wrong before.

Anyways, I try to shut it down when I see it, but last time I did my sister got mad at me instead, for being harsh with him.

Neither of them seem to understand that this is, for lack of a better phrase, just messed up. It seems like he cares more about doing this whole thing than about my sister's feelings, or making the whole room uncomfortable and shifting the atmosphere to be all about him. But maybe I'm wrong. If there's some other angle to this I might not be considering, feel free to say. But otherwise, what can I do to shut him down when he tries to derail the conversation to talk about how much he hates himself why he is empirically right, and/or get either of them to realize this needs to stop?

Also: trying to shift topics or ignore him doesnt work because he will poke her and keep bringing it back up ("did you hear what I said?") when we try.

TLDR: my sister's boyfriend makes self-depreciating jokes and then turns them into conversation-derailing debates every time. I need help getting him to stop.

https://twitter.com/punishedsk8er/status/1410378647794376708

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:22

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

ghost emoji posted:

Colleagues passively-aggressively unfriending me (24M) on Facebook?[new] (self.relationships)

what are the chances that this person has gross political opinions that they post about on facebook?

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:23

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Stop saying passive aggressive

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:27

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AKA Pseudonym posted:

I just need to know what makes some people believe they have a right to any food they have access to. Is it a cultural thing?

Yes, this belief is very normal in Hugepieceofshitistan.

But seriously, no, of course not. It never comes up as an element in any of the food thief stories. While food thieves will usually try to darvo, there hasn't been one posted I can remember where one of them said "muh culture" to justify stealing food from the break room.

Kenshin posted:

what are the chances that this person has gross political opinions that they post about on facebook?

Given the fact they are on facebook in 2021, 100%. Who the gently caress is still on facebook? Even if you are some chud selling mlm stuff, why would you add people from your office?

ghost emoji posted:

How do I get my sister's boyfriend to understand that he is taking his self-depreciating jokes too far?[new] (self.relationships)

https://twitter.com/punishedsk8er/status/1410378647794376708

People who fish for compliments are the worst. Obviously the correct solution is to :sever:

but since the sister will never just listen to this reasonable advice, go with the comedy answer. When he starts sad sacking around, just agree with him full stop and watch him melt down.

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Sep 13, 2021

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:32

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

ghost emoji posted:

How do I get my sister's boyfriend to understand that he is taking his self-depreciating jokes too far?[new] (self.relationships)

https://twitter.com/punishedsk8er/status/1410378647794376708

I used to try to do that. In my head I was Rodney Dangerfield while in reality it was much more Eeyore. And not good Eeyore, more like those comic strips where Pooh is a random jackass to him for no reason.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:33

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

champagne posting posted:

I need to know how this weirdness is ever combined with deathly allergies. "Oh yeah I will die if I look funny at asparagus" proceeds to eat whatever

Having worked in restaurants, I�m not really surprised. Every few months, we�d have someone not even bother to ask about allergens then be shocked (and sometimes angry) when the food showed up and it has peanuts or whatever clearly visible on the plate.

The amazing thing is that it would never be someone who�s like 17 where I could understand it as you not being used to not having your parents doing all the due diligence. No, the person would inevitably be mid to late 20�s and presumably have just gotten away with pure blind luck.

(yes, some of them may have been over-emphasizing their allergies or straight up lying but it happened often enough that at least some of them had to have been real)

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:41

Lieutenant Dan: Oct 27, 2009; Weedlord Bonerhitler

ghost emoji posted:

Colleagues passively-aggressively unfriending me (24M) on Facebook?[new] (self.relationships)

Why in god's name would you want to RESIGN over this :psyduck:

And then have to be convinced by your boss not to?!

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:43

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Tales from the gym.

AITA for not paying my fitness trainer?

quote:

I borrowed my friend's reddit as a throwaway just in case.

I am 25 yo female and about half a year ago I broke up with my ex-bf. I gained a bit of weight during our relationship so I started to go to local gym and hired a trainer. He is very handsome guy and we kinda clicked. I used to go 3x a week and he was flirting with me kinda obvisouly but I was not thinking anything about it.

Last week we were working out together and he asked me if I would like to go with him to gym which he visits when he exercises and then grab some coffee. I was thinking ... yeah why not, sounds like fun and accepted. We met the second day, worked out for an hour or so and then we went to the Starbucks nearby. When we sat down he asked me if I am gonna need account number for todays lesson or if I can pay him in cash. I was a bit confused because I really thought it was a date and he was not even really coaching me during the work out, he was doing his own stuff most of the time, chatting a bit with me. Also he asked more money than I was usually paying for an hour. I told him I thought it was a date and that I m not gonna pay him, because he was not coaching me at the gym.

He told me that he should still be paid because he is personal trainer and I went to gym with him and he was exercising with me. I finally didnt pay him anything, left the coffee on the table and went home. Later I got phone call from the gym that he doesnt want to be my trainer anymore and I am not welcomed there because I have been acting inappropriately.

The whole situation seems a bit confusing. So AITA?

AITA for asking my personal trainer to give me a discount?

quote:

I (26F) am a full-time content creator (or as other people like to call it, influencer). I�ve been very lucky to have had a few of my videos go viral and grew an Instagram following in the 6 figures range; many of my followers are located in the general area I live in. With the following I have, I am able to make an income from doing brand partnerships and sponsored posts.

I wanted to work on my health and hired a highly recommended personal trainer (30sF) in the area. I did NOT tell her that I was a content creator when I hired her. After my first session, she posted some videos of me on her own Instagram page (she has about 10k followers), and some of her followers recognized me in her comments. That�s how she discovered my Instagram page.

When this happened, she called me and asked if I could tag her in my IG stories whenever I am practicing the workouts she gave me. She also asked me as a favor if I could create a before and after video to show my progress, post it on my Instagram, and then tag/mention her in the video. She told me that she is in the process of pitching a TV segment and her agent told her that having a bigger IG following would help her secure the deal.

Normally, for a series of IG story tagging and a dedicated IG video, I charge about $3000 dollars. I told her about my rate but since I really did like the workouts, I would be happy to do all of this if she could give me $1500 off her workout package. I also emphasized to her that I am more than happy to pay her full, regular rate but I didn�t want to feel obligated to create content for her on my page if that was the case.

She told me she would think about it and then hung up. She later texted me and said she felt very insulted that I would ask her for a discount for her services and that a few IG tags and IG video isn�t that much to ask for.

AITA?

EDIT: I think some people are confused so wanted to clarify: I had already planned on paying her full, regular rate when I started working with her. I never planned on asking for a discount until she asked me for the IG story tags and to create a video post for her. I am 100% happy to pay her full rate as long as there is no obligation for me to post about her on my personal IG page.

(formatting is op's)

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:49

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

MagusofStars posted:

Having worked in restaurants, I�m not really surprised. Every few months, we�d have someone not even bother to ask about allergens then be shocked (and sometimes angry) when the food showed up and it has peanuts or whatever clearly visible on the plate.

The amazing thing is that it would never be someone who�s like 17 where I could understand it as you not being used to not having your parents doing all the due diligence. No, the person would inevitably be mid to late 20�s and presumably have just gotten away with pure blind luck.

(yes, some of them may have been over-emphasizing their allergies or straight up lying but it happened often enough that at least some of them had to have been real)

What I tended to run into in restaurants was unannounced flair. Like you order a basic side salad and it turns out this place puts chopped walnuts on it and you're just supposed to know that that's their style. These days most places are better about listing that stuff on menus than they used to be, at least for the common allergens, but occasionally you get stuff people take for granted and don't mention even when asked.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 21:51

The Klowner: Apr 20, 2019; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Tales from the gym.

AITA for not paying my fitness trainer?

AITA for asking my personal trainer to give me a discount?

(formatting is op's)

Lol @ both

# ? Sep 13, 2021 22:06

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Carolyn Hax: Less-favored daughter fears her baby will be ‘second-banana’ grandchild

Second Banana posted:

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are expecting our first child after trying for a long time. I thought my parents would be thrilled for us, especially knowing it was a struggle. But this whole thing has been very much … their third grandchild.

They’ve always been more enthusiastic and involved with anything my sister does. They lavished her with attention during her pregnancies and dote on her kids. They haven’t sent us anything for the baby — though it’s not really about the gifts — or really checked in at all minus perfunctory questions like how I’m feeling. Tonight we shared the baby’s name, with the middle name after my father, and their reaction was … maybe mild happiness before changing the subject.

How do I let it go, that my parents aren’t going to give me the emotional support and enthusiasm I could use right now? More importantly, how do I navigate my child being the second-banana grandchild, which I can already anticipate?

— Second Banana

Carolyn Hax posted:

Second Banana: Is there any reason you’re still in close contact with your parents, having ample evidence they will always and forever treat you as the lesser child? You’re still chasing a sister-level dose of their approval, still, and at risk of chasing forever unless you work on not needing it.

Some suggestions:

· The first step is telling yourself the hardest possible truth. They will not value you as they value your sister.

· That is their fault. And their loss. They are sick people, if only because healthy ones would never so clearly favor one child over another. Never forget this. It is not your fault. You are not less-than.

· Your parents don’t deserve the attention you give them, especially that you give out of a vain hope they will respond in kind. In effect, your extra attention rewards them for mistreating you.

You can’t unbreak them, but you can break this cycle by resolving right now, today, to save your warmest attention for people who show the same regard for you.

If you don’t have people like this in your life, then now’s the time to cultivate stronger bonds outside the family.

Actually, it’s not, with an upside-down world and a baby on the way, but better now than putting it off. The family of choice over origin is a real thing and can be so beautiful.

· Your baby is a huge incentive not to transfer this lifelong sense of frustration and inadequacy to a new generation. If these grandparents aren’t a steady source of warmth for your child, then your child doesn’t spend much time with these grandparents.

· Change the middle name. Seriously. It’s aspirational, to something your history says is unhealthy.

Congratulations, good health, and good luck.

Readers posted:

Readers’ thoughts:

· Congrats! Please don’t put so many dashed expectations on your new happiness. Let him be his own legacy of family for you.

· Please keep your child away from these toxic people as much as possible. I cried when I heard my niece ask my sister why her grandmother didn’t like her as much as Cousin Andy. Kids know these things.

· I would also recommend finding a good therapist. Not because you sound unhealthy, but because your parents modeled bad parenting. Have someone in your life who can help you not replicate unhealthy patterns.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 22:09

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Batterypowered7 posted:

Carolyn Hax: Less-favored daughter fears her baby will be ‘second-banana’ grandchild

Good advice, even if it is not going to be particularly easy to internalize or put into practice. I think the older generation of advice columnists would've told her to suck it up or grovel more

# ? Sep 13, 2021 22:18

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

ghost emoji posted:

Colleagues passively-aggressively unfriending me (24M) on Facebook?[new] (self.relationships)

It's that Black Mirror social media episode, but entirely self inflicted.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 22:41

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

MagusofStars posted:

Having worked in restaurants, I�m not really surprised. Every few months, we�d have someone not even bother to ask about allergens then be shocked (and sometimes angry) when the food showed up and it has peanuts or whatever clearly visible on the plate.

The amazing thing is that it would never be someone who�s like 17 where I could understand it as you not being used to not having your parents doing all the due diligence. No, the person would inevitably be mid to late 20�s and presumably have just gotten away with pure blind luck.

(yes, some of them may have been over-emphasizing their allergies or straight up lying but it happened often enough that at least some of them had to have been real)

I once went to a Greek restaurant where a couple came in and the one guy was reaming out the wait staff for not warning them about the celery in the food because they were allergic. AFAIK, celery is pretty common in Greek food and frankly I've never heard of a celery allergy. Though, who knows, some people are allergic to water.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 22:48

Molten Llama: Sep 20, 2006

champagne posting posted:

I need to know how this weirdness is ever combined with deathly allergies. "Oh yeah I will die if I look funny at asparagus" proceeds to eat whatever

I used to give my mom extra baked goods to share at work. I used a lot of weird poo poo and a lot of nuts, so I made sure she knew what unusual ingredients or potential allergens were in them.

One day she's offering some to a new coworker and tells him "hey, if you have any food allergies, just let me know; my kid bakes a lot of weird poo poo and I have the ingredients at my desk."

He responds "oh, I've got food allergies but they're really weird and nothing you need to worry about." 30 minutes later, of course, he's having an allergic reaction. A mild one, thankfully, but one that could have been avoided if not for blindly consuming free exotic pastries. Undeterred, he took some home because he liked them so much. I'm still mystified that he had survived to middle age.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 22:50

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

vonnegutt posted:

The age gap becomes more concerning when it's part of the combo of age gap, signs of unaddressed trauma, and her financial dependence on him. Like 24-32 isn't much of an age gap if they were both fully independent adults to start with but it doesn't sound like that's the deal.

edit: speaking of age gaps, here's another!!

My (f24) husband (m30) threw away all of my bras and replaced them with ones I don't like.

So that's what happens when a sex doll gains sentience.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:01

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

Tarkus posted:

I once went to a Greek restaurant where a couple came in and the one guy was reaming out the wait staff for not warning them about the celery in the food because they were allergic. AFAIK, celery is pretty common in Greek food and frankly I've never heard of a celery allergy. Though, who knows, some people are allergic to water.

It's not super uncommon! The EU has a list of 14 allergens that have to be flagged on every product containing them, and celery is on there.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:03

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Molten Llama posted:

I used to give my mom extra baked goods to share at work. I used a lot of weird poo poo and a lot of nuts, so I made sure she knew what unusual ingredients or potential allergens were in them.

One day she's offering some to a new coworker and tells him "hey, if you have any food allergies, just let me know; my kid bakes a lot of weird poo poo and I have the ingredients at my desk."

He responds "oh, I've got food allergies but they're really weird and nothing you need to worry about." 30 minutes later, of course, he's having an allergic reaction. A mild one, thankfully, but one that could have been avoided if not for blindly consuming free exotic pastries. Undeterred, he took some home because he liked them so much. I'm still mystified that he had survived to middle age.

My wife's friend is allergic to seafood but she likes it so much that she just takes antihistamines so that she doesn't swell up too bad. That's dedication.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:04

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

It's not super uncommon! The EU has a list of 14 allergens that have to be flagged on every product containing them, and celery is on there.

Ah, well, ya learn something every day. Though, as I recall, the dude was yelling at the waiter 'What kind of Greek restaurant has celery in their food?!?!'

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:09

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Celery has to be on the list with onion, garlic, and dairy (like a casein allergy that won't even let you eat butter rather than lactose intolerance) for allergies that you should just abandon eating in restaurants for. They're in everything and often not recognizable.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:16

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

I know someone with really bad celiacs, really dangerous allergy to eggs, and has lactose intolerance lol. She lost the genetics roll

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:19

littlebluellama: Jun 18, 2013; I am kind, brave and deserve love.

vonnegutt posted:

The age gap becomes more concerning when it's part of the combo of age gap, signs of unaddressed trauma, and her financial dependence on him. Like 24-32 isn't much of an age gap if they were both fully independent adults to start with but it doesn't sound like that's the deal.

edit: speaking of age gaps, here's another!!

My (f24) husband (m30) threw away all of my bras and replaced them with ones I don't like.

He called me crazy for reacting this way instead of being thankful he made this sweet gesture for me and left.

Ah yes, that traditional r/relationship "sweet gesture" where I destroy all your poo poo and replace it with poo poo you can't use.

I always wonder if the delusional "gifter" actually expects on any level for the person to be appreciative, or whether it's explicitly a double-layer punishment where they expect to be able to do something mean to the recipient and then scold them as well.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:32

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

AITA for taking an annoying ongoing joke leading up to my wedding too seriously?

quote:

So my wedding was on Saturday. My husband is still a little frustrated with me for how I handled a joke between him and his family and friends, and I'm still a little frustrated that he doesn't see how rude the joke was and didn't step up on my behalf when it was clear it was bothering me.

Leading up to the wedding my husband's dad, brothers, and friends were making a lot of "your life is over" jokes about him getting married. It seemed like every time the wedding was brought up in front of any of them they'd crack some joke about how he should run away now before he loses his freedom, "blink twice if you need help", calling me his ball and chain or jailer, "get ready to never get laid again", giving their condolences for him getting married, etc. My husband would laugh along with them.

I honestly wouldn't have minded if it was just a couple of jokes, but it was so constant and as it went on it felt more and more disrespectful to me. Basically the entire joke was that being married to me would be so horrible and I was forcing him to go through with it against his will.

I tried lightheartedly mentioning to my husband that the jokes were pretty outdated and gross, and that it was getting annoying. At this point I was just worried the jokes would keep going into the wedding, so I asked my husband to at least tell them not to make those jokes at the wedding. He agreed that it was silly but said I should just ignore it because it wasn't doing any harm and it was just a joke.

I ended up speaking to my FIL and the groomsmen myself and telling them those jokes were banned from my wedding. This of course just made me seem like the controlling bitch they'd all been making me out to be in their jokes and I guess someone complained to my husband because he told me I was taking the whole thing way too seriously.

Thankfully they mostly listened to be about keeping those jokes out of my wedding, though a couple of them snuck into the best man's speech. My husband and I are very happily married and about to go on our honeymoon, it's not as if we're constantly arguing about this or anything, but my husband has mentioned he thinks I went overboard and should have just ignored the jokes, while I think he should have understood that the jokes were bothering me and just asked his friends and family to stop.

Ha ha!

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:39

ghost emoji: Mar 11, 2016; oooOooOOOooh

AITA For Calling My Husband A Helicopter Dad After What He's Done? (self.AmItheAsshole)

quote:

I'm a STAHM and my husband is a Police detective in our local Police Department. We have a 16 year old daughter "Hannah"

Hannah quit her job in a restaurant days ago. My husband being curious and a bit intrusive kept pestering and pressuring her to answer why she quit her job despite her saying she didn't want to say the reason and insisted it was a simpls disagreement between her and her manager but now it's over. She eventually caved in and told us, it was indeed a simple disagreement and that was it. But my husband kept saying he had a "hunch" there was more to the story than she's was letting on. And kept saying "I gotta know I just gotta know" I told him to drop it and he said why not.

Hannah came home yesterday looking upset saying her former manager notified her that her dad contacted him to know the real reason she quit the manager asked her if she told us a different story or lied but later turns out what she said was true obviously since her former manager confirmed it but thought it was weird my husband contacted him to ask especially after he initially introduced himself as a detective which freaked the manager out. Hannah confronted my husband and he said she was overreacting big time and that as a parent he was concenered something else was going on and frankly said he didn't believe the story she told about why she quit. She started crying and he kept telling her she was overreacting and he had the right to "investigate and get facts straight from the horse's mouth". In a sorry not sorry type of attitude.

Hannah ran upstairs crying and I lost my cool on him and asked if he was happy and proud of his achivement. He repeated himself saying he got concerned and really wanted to know wether she was telling the truth about the reason she quit her job and added there was no harm "inquiring about, and confirming her story" and Hannah will get over it. I said oh-uh no I don't think she's ever going to get over the fact her own dad thought of her as a liar and didn't trust her when she told him the reason she quit and instead called her workplace to get "the truth" I added asking "what's wrong with you you don't trust your own daughter?".

I bluntly told him he clearly has issues and needed help with being a helicopter dad. He brushed me off saying we were both being drama queens and got pissed that I told him he shouldn't surprised if Hannah no longer looks at him the same. Anymore.

He blamed me for trying to make him feel guilty for worrying about Hannah and trying to turn them against each other to appear as the savior to Hannah after causing a divide between them. He added there was some screw missing in me because I should be as much as concerned about Hannaha as he was. And was hurt I called him helicopter parent instead of caring parent.

But people quit their jobs every day so I don't see what's the big deal. AITA?

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:41

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

ghost emoji posted:

AITA For Calling My Husband A Helicopter Dad After What He's Done? (self.AmItheAsshole)

YTA for marrying a cop

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:43

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I want to know what the disagreement was about

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:51

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I mean it must have obviously come through in his tone and follow-up comments.

If I told someone they looked like a cyberpunk lesbian, they would know it was a compliment.

Pretty much 100% this. The correct way to say that in respect to your wife would be with extreme horny Gomez Addams energy, and this dumbfuck definitely sneered it instead.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 23:52

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Tarkus posted:

My wife's friend is allergic to seafood but she likes it so much that she just takes antihistamines so that she doesn't swell up too bad. That's dedication.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 00:38

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

ghost emoji posted:

AITA For Calling My Husband A Helicopter Dad After What He's Done? (self.AmItheAsshole)

there's a reason why cops have a super high divorce rate

# ? Sep 14, 2021 00:46

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

Yeah I was going to say, celery is actually a relatively common allergy! I love celery and would be sad if I was allergic.

I did discover I was very allergic to buckwheat a few years ago, which has been really goddamn annoying. The vast majority of people don't know what buckwheat is, and if I order food out, people assume it has something to do with wheat so I get their gluten free talk-track. It would be rare except for the ~ancient grains~ hipster thing, and it's common in gluten free baked goods and leads to cross contamination.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 00:50

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

in college I kept film developer in a communal fridge in a milk jug painted black with a big skull and crossbones on it. The same two guys would constantly keep trying the jug in the hopes that this time it would contain goth milk or something, and get mad when it didn't.

Goth Milk, obtained in the darkest recesses of barn corners by the saddest, most calcium deficient goths

# ? Sep 14, 2021 00:53

Barudak: May 7, 2007

A cow with black nail polish on its hooves

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:12

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Bauhaus playing non-stop at volume in the milking shed for white on white translucent black milk.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:17

A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:33

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for refusing to pay for my friend's EpiPen?

quote:

Edit/update: So I visited Jilian in the hospital today and she apologized to me for what happened. It was an accident. She said she didn't eat my kare-kare but took some rice. She didn't realize that some sauce got on the rice bowl, so there was clearly a cross contamination. It wasn't her who went in my room, it was Trish and another housemate, Ian. I will be charging them for the stolen beer and food.

I will definitely buy a lock after this incident. Thank you all for your advice, judgement and awards!

I do like that the person who ended up in hospital is so much more understanding than the people trying to force OP into paying for her epi-pen! Good on OP for charging them for the beer and food.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:36

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Evil Willow posted:

I do like that the person who ended up in hospital is so much more understanding than the people trying to force OP into paying for her epi-pen! Good on OP for charging them for the beer and food.

I assume they are worried the roommate in the hospital will blame for poisoning her, which it sounds like they did, so they were trying to deflect blame on the OP in a vain attempt to get the OP to take responsibility and clear them of all guilt.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:51

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 03:00

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

The_Franz posted:

there's a reason why cops have a super high divorce rate

And it would be higher if they didn't abuse plenty of people into being too scared to leave.

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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