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https://twitter.com/domo_ocam/status/1437517974374690825 Even if this is fake, I want to discuss the implementation of a shark based religion in at least this thread if not all of BYOB  Pros: Sharks are cute Sharks are smooth Sharks attack floridaman Cons: Can be a bit of a meanie first thing in the morning, totally not a morning person Kills people Not all that great of a parent since most just ditch their young first chance they get Doesn't like the color purple Zil fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Sep 15, 2021 |
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Sep 15, 2021 01:10
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 20:23 |
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shark jesus makes considerably more sense than various other versions, so I'm inclined to say you're onto something. the biblical passage about jesus laying into a school of tuna, blood and guts everywhere, makes a lot more sense in this interpretation.
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Sep 15, 2021 01:32
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Leviticus 26:29 makes a lot more sense if you think they mistranslated "your" for "their"quote:You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters
more falafel please posted:just turn that impostor syndrome into "I'm Poster" syndrome |
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Sep 15, 2021 01:40
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we're gonna need a bigger church |
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Sep 15, 2021 01:42
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would there be hymns sung to the sound of the jaws theme? |
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Sep 15, 2021 01:49
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Stoner Sloth posted:we're gonna need a bigger church lol |
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Sep 15, 2021 01:50
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Stoner Sloth posted:we're gonna need a bigger church |
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Sep 15, 2021 01:54
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What would the shark pope hat look like? Also would the hat be worn on the head or the fin? |
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Sep 15, 2021 01:55
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Zil posted:What would the shark pope hat look like? Also would the hat be worn on the head or the fin? 
https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Sep 15, 2021 04:08
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hey, what gives. i thought they said they'd be passing fish around at this thing shark jesus, fish bones hanging out the mouth: 
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Sep 15, 2021 04:25
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Monty Python and The Holy Chum Bucket |
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Sep 15, 2021 04:35
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Jesus isn't a sheep, he's a shark |
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Sep 15, 2021 05:17
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I feel like Noah's Shark is just too obvious and not funny enough. But I do get a chuckle out of the idea of people congregating under the ministries of the Great White Church. |
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Sep 15, 2021 05:38
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KaBob posted:I feel like Noah's Shark is just too obvious and not funny enough. Jesus was a hammerhead! |
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Sep 15, 2021 05:42
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Escape From Noise posted:Jesus was a hammerhead! You mean Jawsus? |
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Sep 15, 2021 05:44
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KaBob posted:You mean Jawsus?
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Sep 15, 2021 06:47
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King of the Chews |
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Sep 15, 2021 07:17
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KaBob posted:You mean Jawsus? Drink-Mix Man posted:King of the Chews |
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Sep 15, 2021 07:20
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walking on water still miraculous but for a different reason |
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Sep 15, 2021 07:25
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Noah: we're gonna need a bigger boat |
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Sep 15, 2021 07:34
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The miracle of the 5 seals and 2 chum buckets.
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Sep 15, 2021 07:45
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Silent bite, holy bite
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Sep 15, 2021 14:30
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KaBob posted:You mean Jawsus? Drink-Mix Man posted:King of the Chews Doctor Dogballs posted:Silent bite, holy bite
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Sep 15, 2021 14:41
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Remember when there was only one set of footprints in the sand? That's when you were walking by yourself because I was asphyxiating and had to return to the ocean. Now get in here. |
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Sep 15, 2021 16:14
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Shark Jesus wanders around preaching because he can't stop moving or he will suffocate |
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Sep 15, 2021 16:39
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Going door to door Christmas caroling "Baaaaby Christ! Do do do do do do do..." |
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Sep 15, 2021 16:58
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shark jesus' big miracle is that he once walked on land but like i could do that 
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Sep 15, 2021 17:05
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The Virgin Shark gave birth to several Jesus pups that had to eat each other to survive, only one made it out, that was Christ the King |
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Sep 15, 2021 17:16
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The breads and loaves parable is not what I remember, just shark jesus creating more and more fish for himself to devour. |
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Sep 15, 2021 18:30
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Bees kill more people annually than Jesus BTW. |
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Sep 15, 2021 19:01
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Blesséd are the shark week |
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Sep 15, 2021 19:11
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Ventral EggSac posted:Blesséd are the shark week |
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Sep 15, 2021 19:19
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father shark do do do dododo father shark do do do dododo father shark do do do dododo father shark Jesus shark do do do dododo Jesus shark do do do dododo Jesus shark do do do dododo Jesus shark holy spirit shark do do do dododo holy spirit shark do do do dododo holy spirit shark do do do dododo holy spirit shark amen |
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Sep 15, 2021 19:31
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Instead of saying "peace be with you" it will instead be "fish be with you" |
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Sep 15, 2021 19:42
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the papal decree that baptisms only count if done in the ocean makes more sense now
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Sep 15, 2021 19:48
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From the shore you see someone getting dunked in the water for a baptism, followed by struggles and blood pooling around them |
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Sep 15, 2021 20:00
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I’m trying to think of a shark version of the footprints in the sand parable but dang is it hard may need lsbb to help out on this one. |
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Sep 15, 2021 20:02
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All the lepers come to the beach to be healed and Jesus flings a seal into the air as hard as he possibly can |
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Sep 15, 2021 20:15
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Prof. Crocodile posted:I’m trying to think of a shark version of the footprints in the sand parable but dang is it hard Drink-Mix Man posted:Remember when there was only one set of footprints in the sand? That's when you were walking by yourself because I was asphyxiating and had to return to the ocean. LOL, by the way |
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Sep 15, 2021 20:43
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 20:23 |
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sorry somebody's gotta say it but i think one of the trainers hosed a shark
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Sep 15, 2021 21:15
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