the red pill but u put it up yr butt

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take the moon: by sebmojo

now u will see how deep the rabbit hole goes

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:19

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 11:28

take the moon: by sebmojo

morpheus in the digital pill pharmacy talking to the pharmacist: wait so this way it absorbs more effectively? cant take chances with The One

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# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:20

Stoner Sloth

turns out this whole 'matrix' business was hallucinations caused by your severe prostatitis

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:21

bad guy

take the moon posted:

now u will see how deep the rabbit hole goes

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:22

take the moon: by sebmojo

every time zion is destroyed, a new One is born. that ones DNA reverse-crisprs the matrix computers to choose a self-projection with an absolutely phat rear end

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:22

bad guy

slow release red pill suppository so you have time to get used to bullet time

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:23

bad guy

morpheus: you can take the blue pill, that's an oral pill, or you can take the red pill, by putting it up your butt

neo: can i put the blue pill up my butt?

morpheus: no

neo: *sighs* ok i guess i'll take the red pill then

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:24

take the moon: by sebmojo

bad guy posted:

slow release red pill suppository so you have time to get used to bullet time

lol

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# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:25

take the moon: by sebmojo

cypher: yea make me forget about the matrix. i wanna be a rockstar. also make my butt like, way tiny

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:26

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Gosh, I hate to humblebrag but, I think I saw this coming.

"Everything that has a beginning, has an end."
-The Oracle

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:29

Stoner Sloth

bad guy posted:

slow release red pill suppository so you have time to get used to bullet time

neo: what are you trying to tell me? that i can dodge bullets?
m: no, neo. im trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.

*later*

neo: *opens butt and swallows the bullets fired at him in dramatic goatse style*

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:29

Stoner Sloth

innocent millenial accidentally eats the red pill while just trying to have a good itme

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:39

Stoner Sloth

m: he IS the bum!
t: well no poo poo dick tracyeus, been telling you that the whole time plus he's literally called 'umb'... d-do you not know what an anagram is?

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:40

Lock: hardcore sound gets you hypah

Stoner Sloth posted:

m: he IS the bum!
t: well no poo poo dick tracyeus, been telling you that the whole time plus he's literally called 'umb'... d-do you not know what an anagram is?

...dammit today is the day I realized one is an anagram for neo

i am too dumb for this otherwise awesome thread and will bow out

https://giant.gfycat.com/ThoseAcrobaticCapybara.webm
so much love to vanisher for the winter '21 sig!

huge love to Tiny Myers for the fall '21 sig!

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:43

Stoner Sloth

Lock posted:

...dammit today is the day I realized one is an anagram for neo

i am too dumb for this otherwise awesome thread and will bow out

lol no way my orb... anyway get ready to have you're mind blown dum is just mud spelled backwards *hands you a red pill* now hit this poo poo and have some fun! uh... you're gonna want some lube.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:46

google THIS

Neo: (walking funny) There is no spoon, there is no spoon...

Oracle: Why the hell does my silverware keep disappearing?

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:59

Stoner Sloth

google THIS posted:

Neo: (walking funny) There is no spoon, there is no spoon...

Oracle: Why the hell does my silverware keep disappearing?

whoa

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:03

Lock: hardcore sound gets you hypah

Stoner Sloth posted:

lol no way my orb... anyway get ready to have you're mind blown dum is just mud spelled backwards *hands you a red pill* now hit this poo poo and have some fun! uh... you're gonna want some lube.

how did you know my name

google THIS posted:

Neo: (walking funny) There is no spoon, there is no spoon...

Oracle: Why the hell does my silverware keep disappearing?

https://giant.gfycat.com/ThoseAcrobaticCapybara.webm
so much love to vanisher for the winter '21 sig!

huge love to Tiny Myers for the fall '21 sig!

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:03

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

i know bung fu

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:16

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

your friend sk posted:

i know bung fu

Show me

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:22

google THIS

Virus Smith still uses the same gesture to infect people, he just hits a slightly different spot

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:52

Heather Papps: hello friend

"yah i made this training program where you can re-experiance putting the red pill up your butt over and over and over again. what do you mean, why?"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Sep 19, 2021 19:03

Finger Prince

There is no spoon. It's really more of a speculum.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 22:40

google THIS

Neo: How about I give you the finger, and you let me take a bathroom break?

Smith: Tell me, Mr. Anderson, what good is a bathroom break, when you are unable to poop?

Neo: :eek:

# ? Sep 19, 2021 22:53

Abugadu: 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Remember, all I�m offering is a boof. Nothing more.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 12:22

empty whippet box: by Fluffdaddy

*sticks pill up butt* I know kung fu

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 20, 2021 12:50

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Take the brown pill.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 18:14

Stoner Sloth

Morpheus: Lol, told you i could get him to do it

# ? Sep 20, 2021 18:24

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

morpheus (*straining as he does kegels*): what is the matrix? control.

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Sep 20, 2021 18:28

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Were you listening to me Neo or were you looking at the women in the red dress?

Neo: What?

Look again.

[it's a bottom]

# ? Sep 20, 2021 18:39

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

the Merovingian is seated at the table of a swanky french restaurant:

M: Look there, at that woman. I have sent her a desert. It is a very... special desert. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply, each line of the program creating a new effect. It is like... poetry.
First, a rush. Heat. The heart flutters. You can see it, yes? She does not understand why. Is it the wine? Non. What is it, what is the reason? Soon it does not matter. Soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. And this is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretense, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control.

Woman: *violently shits herself*

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Sep 20, 2021 18:47

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Morpheus farts.

What is a fart neo? Modern neurology explains that it's just signals interpreted through your brain.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 19:04

Lock: hardcore sound gets you hypah

magic cactus posted:

the Merovingian is seated at the table of a swanky french restaurant:

M: Look there, at that woman. I have sent her a desert. It is a very... special desert. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply, each line of the program creating a new effect. It is like... poetry.
First, a rush. Heat. The heart flutters. You can see it, yes? She does not understand why. Is it the wine? Non. What is it, what is the reason? Soon it does not matter. Soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. And this is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretense, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control.

Woman: *violently shits herself*

https://giant.gfycat.com/ThoseAcrobaticCapybara.webm
so much love to vanisher for the winter '21 sig!

huge love to Tiny Myers for the fall '21 sig!

# ? Sep 20, 2021 19:18

empty whippet box: by Fluffdaddy

magic cactus posted:

the Merovingian is seated at the table of a swanky french restaurant:

M: Look there, at that woman. I have sent her a desert. It is a very... special desert. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply, each line of the program creating a new effect. It is like... poetry.
First, a rush. Heat. The heart flutters. You can see it, yes? She does not understand why. Is it the wine? Non. What is it, what is the reason? Soon it does not matter. Soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. And this is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretense, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control.

Woman: *violently shits herself*

i'll have what she's having, waiter

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 20, 2021 19:26

take the moon: by sebmojo

magic cactus posted:

the Merovingian is seated at the table of a swanky french restaurant:

M: Look there, at that woman. I have sent her a desert. It is a very... special desert. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply, each line of the program creating a new effect. It is like... poetry.
First, a rush. Heat. The heart flutters. You can see it, yes? She does not understand why. Is it the wine? Non. What is it, what is the reason? Soon it does not matter. Soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. And this is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretense, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control.

Woman: *violently shits herself*

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 20, 2021 19:28

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Sep 20, 2021 20:07

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

in the first version of the matrix, they left out farting. turns out humans are not capable to deal with life without farts. it was mayhem

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Sep 20, 2021 20:10

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

The original idea was that the machines were using the processing power of human brains. So perhaps they left out the farts because the human uses so much processing power perceiving the parts (the medula flatulonganglia) that it was too tempting not to do it.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 20:17