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Relentless posted:Good, gently caress 'em! Go celebrate/mourn. A wake for your relationship with your stepdad. A wake is usually to celebrate people, isn’t it? Why would they want to celebrate a who by his account sounds like an absolute blithering poo poo bag waste of air and space?
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Sep 23, 2021 16:49
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life is killing me posted:A wake is usually to celebrate people, isn’t it? Why would they want to celebrate a who by his account sounds like an absolute blithering poo poo bag waste of air and space? I thought "wake" was another word for "funeral", you learn something new every day! but yeah, maybe a "good riddance" party would be more fitting
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Sep 23, 2021 16:53
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Barudak posted:Hey, congrats on standing up for your child and bettering their life. bee posted:This, plus standing up for yourself and bettering yours. I think you're very brave. All of these things here.
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Sep 23, 2021 18:11
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Lieutenant Dan posted:I thought "wake" was another word for "funeral", you learn something new every day! but yeah, maybe a "good riddance" party would be more fitting Eh I could be wrong, too. I guess it’s subjective to the people holding/attending the wake but now that I think of it I’ve rarely been to a wake that wasn’t mostly somber and sorrowful
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Sep 23, 2021 18:15
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A wake is a meeting after a funeral in the UK, before a funeral in other places. People sending out the funeral-and-wake invitations are apt to tell you they want it to be a celebration of the deceased's life, but I don't think that makes any difference to what actually happens
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Sep 23, 2021 18:44
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The visceral part of me thinks "should've exacted the same pain he inflicted on your daughter" when your shitbag of a stepfather told you to kiss his rear end, telling your mom "I thought he said to KICK his rear end, so I complied  " but forgetting about them and living your best life will be all the revenge these assholes deserve. Good for you!
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Sep 23, 2021 21:45
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Really happy for you and your family Ghostnuke.
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Sep 23, 2021 23:07
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I have an aunt and uncle who are about to enter this thread's exalted ranks, and I think everyone's seen it coming but them. Problem is, I have two cousins. Aged 23 and... 4. The oops baby has some kind of neurological disorder, I don't know the details if it's autism, down's, or something else. As far as I know, it's the kind where he'll probably never be capable of living independently. So my aunt and uncle have made it very clear for years that they expect his big sister to take care of him. She's made it very clear that she will not, she hates how much her parents have tried to warp her life around her little brother. She has just announced that she got a job offer in her fiance's home country overseas, so she and her fiance are now planning to move [back] to the fiance's home country. When my aunt and uncle get around to responding... this is gonna be a shitshow. I'm turning off all my social media in advance.
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Sep 23, 2021 23:25
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Cythereal posted:I have an aunt and uncle who are about to enter this thread's exalted ranks, and I think everyone's seen it coming but them. gently caress that, leave it on and support your cousin drat the consequences, the family that will be offended by it is poo poo anyway. 
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Sep 23, 2021 23:39
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oops looks like y'all made... what are they called, *choices*? Oh nooooo here comes the personal responsibility fairy how tragic
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Sep 23, 2021 23:43
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shame on an IGA posted:gently caress that, leave it on and support your cousin drat the consequences, the family that will be offended by it is poo poo anyway. Seconding this. There'll be a dogpile on your cousin that they may not be able to deal with. Support them by making sure they won't have to deal with it alone.
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Sep 23, 2021 23:46
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shame on an IGA posted:oops looks like y'all made... what are they called, *choices*? Oh nooooo here comes the personal responsibility fairy how tragic
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Sep 24, 2021 00:01
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PetraCore posted:Yeah, like, I believed every disabled person should have the support they need but part of why I'm so adamant on that being a governmentally provided thing is because an insane amount of people try to rope their other kids into life-long bondage. That's not even healthy for the disabled relative! Caretaking is a full time job and being thrust into it without support leads to worse outcomes! ayyyyo from direct experience
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Sep 24, 2021 00:05
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PetraCore posted:Yeah, like, I believed every disabled person should have the support they need but part of why I'm so adamant on that being a governmentally provided thing is because an insane amount of people try to rope their other kids into life-long bondage. That's not even healthy for the disabled relative! Caretaking is a full time job and being thrust into it without support leads to worse outcomes! My dad caretaking his parents full time for 5 years basically destroyed him as a person physically and mentally.
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Sep 24, 2021 00:14
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My older sister is going to need full-time care for the rest of her life and I love her very much, but one of the best parenting decisions my parents ever made was taking full advantage of government services up to and including group homes we pay a lot of attention to as a family, because my sister needs full-time care for the rest of her life. Obviously the amount of support available varies, and even now the government is moving my sister's home to a completely different caretaking contractor because it's cheaper and gently caress letting the people who have a history with those specific disabled adults keep caring for them, right? So like, yeah, sometimes sacrifices have to be made, but somehow in these monstrous family stories it's never about finding the money to hire people to help, it's about using a relative as unpaid labor for the rest of their life.
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Sep 24, 2021 00:21
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It's worse when, upon finding out that their child is going to need care for life, have a second kid to take care of the first.
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Sep 24, 2021 05:24
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Welp, the estranged parents train is leaving the station, judging by my cousin's public post this morning.quote:Mom, Dad:
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Sep 24, 2021 13:39
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Your cousin is a napalm laying motherfucker and awesome.
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Sep 24, 2021 13:45
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Harvey Mantaco posted:Your cousin is a napalm laying motherfucker and awesome. hell yeah, scorch that earth
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Sep 24, 2021 13:57
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Cythereal posted:Welp, the estranged parents train is leaving the station, judging by my cousin's public post this morning. Thats a real "I did it 35 minutes ago" energy
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Sep 24, 2021 14:05
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That message owns.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:06
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Cythereal posted:Welp, the estranged parents train is leaving the station, judging by my cousin's public post this morning. Emotional / intellectual flying elbow, right off the top turnbuckle https://imgur.com/gallery/FANo3
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Sep 24, 2021 14:06
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On a personal aside, has 'we make all decisions as a family' ever not been a huge red flag?
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Sep 24, 2021 14:10
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Cythereal posted:On a personal aside, has 'we make all decisions as a family' ever not been a huge red flag? Works pretty good for the Torettos
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Sep 24, 2021 14:18
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quote:[...] your suggestion that [fiance] and I should think of it as our child since we're women and can't have one of our own easily is simply gross.  Good on your cousin for not getting drawn into a spiral of bullshit.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:19
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YAY for the cousin, and her badarse message. She is doing everything right. BOO to the parents, with an extra BOO for the misogyny and homophobia added on. ("You are a lesbian couple, so you cant have kids the normal way. Hows about you take care of our kid and pretend its yours. You're both women so obviously you love little kids.") But some thought should also be there for the kid himself. His parents have proven they don't want him, and consider him a burden that they tried to foist off on to his elder sister. An elder sister that, even though she lives overseas, is still prepared to send back the money to pay for his care. Care his actual parents can't seem to be arsed to give him. That's got to be tough . And agreeing. "We all make decisions as a family" is code for "you will do what I say or I will shame/bully you for daring to go against me". gently caress that. My dad still tries to do that to me sometimes, and I am a grown arse man.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:24
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Barudak posted:Thats a real "I did it 35 minutes ago" energy yea i wouldn't announce the plan like that unless it's already well underway. maybe it's a smokescreen so they can say "i already left bitches" when called out.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:34
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Light Gun Man posted:yea i wouldn't announce the plan like that unless it's already well underway. maybe it's a smokescreen so they can say "i already left bitches" when called out. From what I know - understand that these are people I only see in person on Thanksgiving and Christmas - the timeline is that she's been talking about doing this ever since she got engaged, and announced yesterday that she got the actual letter of acceptance from the company and has started on the paperwork to get the visa. Personally, I suspect that she didn't publicly say anything until she was 100% certain that this would work.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:40
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Good for her and gently caress them parents. I feel bad for the kid but he's not her responsibility.
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Sep 24, 2021 15:20
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Cythereal posted:From what I know - understand that these are people I only see in person on Thanksgiving and Christmas - the timeline is that she's been talking about doing this ever since she got engaged, and announced yesterday that she got the actual letter of acceptance from the company and has started on the paperwork to get the visa. I hope it all goes well!
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Sep 24, 2021 16:41
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Cousin rules.
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Sep 24, 2021 16:55
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Crossposting from r/relationships thread: AITA for telling my daughter that she traumatized me? quote:As much as it pains me to say this, before my daughter turned 17, I didn’t feel any love for her. I didn’t even like her, really. She certainly thought I did, but on the inside I just couldn’t feel anything but annoyance towards her. She was very manipulative and needy and needed constant attention; I know this is a common feeling in parents, but I feel so ashamed to actually say it out loud.
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Sep 28, 2021 19:09
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Light Gun Man posted:I hope it all goes well! It sounds like it is. I'm not privy to some of what's been going on, but I think my cousin dropped the "if we go NC that means you won't see your grandchildren" line and that's done wonders to make her parents more cooperative. 
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Sep 28, 2021 19:20
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Daughter hated being an emotional support dog for her extremely selfish and narcissistic mother, who’da thunk it
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Sep 28, 2021 19:21
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:Crossposting from r/relationships thread: I see so much of my mom in this one it's incredibly infuriating.
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Sep 28, 2021 19:28
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Poo In An Alleyway posted:As much as it pains me to say this, before my daughter turned 17, I didn’t feel any love for her. I didn’t even like her, really. She certainly thought I did, but on the inside I just couldn’t feel anything but annoyance towards her. She was very manipulative and needy and needed constant attention; I know this is a common feeling in parents, but I feel so ashamed to actually say it out loud. What the gently caress, according to who? Do these loving lunatics seriously think it's 100% normal to not love your children and all the other parents are just pretending? Jesus christ. I feel nothing but burning hatred for this woman.
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Sep 28, 2021 20:03
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Lasca fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Nov 8, 2022 |
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Sep 28, 2021 20:13
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CuwiKhons posted:What the gently caress, according to who? Do these loving lunatics seriously think it's 100% normal to not love your children and all the other parents are just pretending? Jesus christ. I feel nothing but burning hatred for this woman. I'm pretty sure the answer to this is yes, she seriously believes it. One thing I've noticed with almost all the stories in this thread is that these people really do believe that they know what everyone else is thinking (and it's always something twisted and horrible). They know that their estranged children are just pretending, and are disobeying solely to hurt the parents. It makes sense. If they are narcissists, then everything they think must be the best opinion ever, so of course everyone agrees with them. And anyone who doesn't is deliberately thinking the wrong way just to offend. It's partial solipsism I guess. They don't believe that they are the only person who exists, but like small children they just can't imagine other people having independent thoughts.
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Sep 29, 2021 00:21
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quote:She was very manipulative and needy and needed constant attention Must have been difficult, giving birth to a mirror. Or as the kids say, turn on your monitor lmao.
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Sep 29, 2021 00:39
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Thing is I guarantee her daughter was not manipulative and needy, but just a normal child. Why have kids if you begrudge them being a child and having needs? If you don't want to give to them? I don't understand. My mom is like this and it's so insanely hurtful. I just had a daughter of my own and it's really hammered home that holy poo poo I can't imagine treating her the way my family treated me.
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Sep 29, 2021 00:52
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