FATAL & Friends 2020: 61 billion casualties

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > FATAL & Friends 2020: 61 billion casualties

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

The thing you have to bear in mind about The Truth is that it was only revealed in a writer's bible, and is basically a rough outline for a novel that was probably never written. That's why it's so preoccupied with individual characters--Dr. Crantham and his poppy-red tie--and even specific scenes. Like, Slayer has a hosed up face because Brent Walker mutilated him in a battle in an imaginary barber shop.

That's a problem running throughout SLA, though. SLA really really really wants you to care about Slayer and Intruder and Senti and all of these characters that are really cool, you guys. You can tell that it was written by someone who was very young and very excited about their homebrew. It didn't occur to Dave Allsop that neither the players nor the GM have any reason to give a poo poo about a love triangle between three NPCs that will never show up in anyone's game.

There's too much stuff in the setting you can't actually engage with at all--and the stuff you're supposed to engage with, like becoming a superstar bounty hunter/American Gladiator, is not really supported in the rules. The GM is just supposed to wing it.

Edit: Did I mention Intruder? He's so cool and pretty. He has Robert Smith and a big scythe and he's invincible and the greatest fighter in the universe but he's sad. So sad. Sad and pretty.

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 14:35 on Oct 28, 2021

# ? Oct 28, 2021 14:30

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 05:28

Fivemarks: Feb 21, 2015

Halloween Jack posted:

The thing you have to bear in mind about The Truth is that it was only revealed in a writer's bible, and is basically a rough outline for a novel that was probably never written. That's why it's so preoccupied with individual characters--Dr. Crantham and his poppy-red tie--and even specific scenes. Like, Slayer has a hosed up face because Brent Walker mutilated him in a battle in an imaginary barber shop.

That's a problem running throughout SLA, though. SLA really really really wants you to care about Slayer and Intruder and Senti and all of these characters that are really cool, you guys. You can tell that it was written by someone who was very young and very excited about their homebrew. It didn't occur to Dave Allsop that neither the players nor the GM have any reason to give a poo poo about a love triangle between three NPCs that will never show up in anyone's game.

There's too much stuff in the setting you can't actually engage with at all--and the stuff you're supposed to engage with, like becoming a superstar bounty hunter/American Gladiator, is not really supported in the rules. The GM is just supposed to wing it.

Edit: Did I mention Intruder? He's so cool and pretty. He has Robert Smith and a big scythe and he's invincible and the greatest fighter in the universe but he's sad. So sad. Sad and pretty.

Reminds me of Forgotten Realms. Or, as I said before, Shadowrun (Especially Dragonfall) and its preoccupation with the Dragons.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 16:36

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I feel like there's a problem with a lot of metaplot/backstory stuff where even if it's not the writers desperately using it as an excuse to write that fantasy novel no one wanted to publish, you do need some backstory and lore for a game setting, even if it's basically just examples for players to go off and use if they can't be arsed thinking of something better. And it can be surprisingly easy to get invested in stuff you've made even if it's basically the first idea that came to mind just to fill the space, and of course when you make more lore it should follow on from the stuff you've already made...

Using your old PCs for key setting figures is also common, and logical, but can still present its own problems.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 16:58

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I like games that are designed with the idea that players will interact with the important NPCs mechanically. Even better are games that let you explicitly BE the important NPCs, if you will. 13th Age has some mechanics tying players to the big boy NPCs if I remember correctly. I worked on a game where there were unique character options to be major faction leaders and the like. The least Forgotten Realms could do is let you pick an �Elminster�s cousin� trait that gets you a favor to call in once per session, or something.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 17:50

hyphz: Aug 5, 2003; Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.; Unlockable Ben

Ithle01 posted:

Yeah there's a bunch of stuff in The Truth about the real antagonist(s) of the setting. Mr. Slayer is locked in a battle with another personality/aspect of the teenager who created the world and there's some other stuff in there that I forget because it's been close to a couple decades. I've always wondered about the copyright date on the game because there's a ton of stuff that is very close to The Matrix in here as well and if you learn the universe is a hallucination you get Matrix-like powers. The downside is that if too many people learn this the universe might self-destruct which is why Mr. Slayer has hit teams of what are basically Agents to kill you if you gently caress around with this. The hit teams are mostly made of immortal psychic wizards with power armor (in addition to everything else they have going for them). Also, Halloween Jack is sort of Neo, but also a serial killer.

Bear in mind that SLA Industries came out 6 years before The Matrix.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 18:04

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Yeah SLA could do a much better job integrating PCs into the setting if it actually had a subsystem for getting those corporate sponsorships and increases in rank, and doing so involved the party getting the patronage of one of those NPCs. The internecine rivalries would provide adventure seeds, and you'd have a reason to care about the love/hate relationships between Intruder, Senti, Preceptor Teeth, General Krage, Taarnish, Cranium, the Raccoon Bishop, Tide, Tenderness, Dr. Crantham, and Arbor Day Steve.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 18:04

Ithle01: May 28, 2013

hyphz posted:

Bear in mind that SLA Industries came out 6 years before The Matrix.

Thanks, I always wondered if there was anything to that. A friend of mine pointed that stuff out years and years ago, but I didn't know the particulars of the timeline.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 18:20

Ronwayne: Nov 20, 2007; That warm and fuzzy feeling.

Ithle01 posted:

I have a suspicion that SLA Industries is basically what most people who play Shadowrun actually want to play, but just don't want to admit they like the idea of working for The Man. If I had to pick one to run I'd probably go with SLA. If I had to pick one to play in though, then I'm not sure.

Yeah, there's always been this urge to be the boot for some folks. There was a number of runs I've seen with "execute the squatters in here so a corp can move in, don't worry they're gangers that means they have no souls, like oblivion bandits"

I am reminded of some real life BOPE ghoul saying "BOPE does not patrol, we hunt bandits", and I realized, after various rainbow six games where you're shooting up rebellious poors, this urge in right wing media to massively amp up the enemy to justify Slick Hardman Bringing Law To The Lawless look good.

Holy poo poo, found it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqzyU-fNq-I
I can't tell what's the best/worst bit, press x to kiss wife or "ENGAGE NYPD (because they're standing between us and the targets)"

Ronwayne fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Oct 28, 2021

# ? Oct 28, 2021 18:47

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

Hey, don't forget that we had the last Batman movie where a popular rising was a scam by league of shadows and CoDBlops2 where a popular uprising was just a scam by angry dude to get back at the US. On a similar vein: second half of BioShock Infinite is fighting the slave you freed because they're as bad as the slaves, make u think

Bank on SLA: so the Truth is more interesting than "haha, just all a dream" but yeah, definitely not something the players would ever need to engage? It's like CHIM for a TES game of street urchin thievery.

By the way, what are the Voices?

# ? Oct 28, 2021 20:27

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

All of the psychics who have the potential to create new realities also have a split personality that acts as a sort of familiar. If the process is "successful" then the person will seamlessly merge with their Voice to become a new person.

Jan Forest/Senti is a successful example, but she failed to create a new reality. Brent Walker created a new reality, but his personality is all kinds of hosed up and split into three different people (Bitterness, Intruder, and Slayer).

Now the really baffling thing, to me, is why the process required pitting the psychics against each other in a Battle Royale style fight to the death.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 20:41

Everyone: Sep 6, 2019; by sebmojo

Halloween Jack posted:

All of the psychics who have the potential to create new realities also have a split personality that acts as a sort of familiar. If the process is "successful" then the person will seamlessly merge with their Voice to become a new person.

Jan Forest/Senti is a successful example, but she failed to create a new reality. Brent Walker created a new reality, but his personality is all kinds of hosed up and split into three different people (Bitterness, Intruder, and Slayer).

Now the really baffling thing, to me, is why the process required pitting the psychics against each other in a Battle Royale style fight to the death.

To determine which reality-creating psychic is "The One" and/or the psychiatrist in charge of this is a sadistic rear end in a top hat.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 21:30

Loxbourne: Apr 6, 2011; Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.

SLA Industries' weirder psychic bits make more sense when seen through the lens of Thatcherite Britain (particularly Scotland, where the author comes from) and in particular, 80s social services and mental health treatment. It's very Scottish cyberpunk.

That may sound deeply weird to anyone not familiar with, say, 70s Dr Who or the works of Terry Nation. But there's a distinct "smell" to the setting and it's concepts of authority and power that is very distinctive. It's the product of the time period when society knew people like Jimmy Savile or Sir James Goldsmith were operating, but couldn't speak it aloud.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 21:53

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I like the part of the writer's bible that tells you to play up the process of getting a BPN, having to go down to the hiring hall and wait around for hours to get some lovely gig work.

# ? Oct 28, 2021 23:02

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Loxbourne posted:

SLA Industries' weirder psychic bits make more sense when seen through the lens of Thatcherite Britain (particularly Scotland, where the author comes from) and in particular, 80s social services and mental health treatment. It's very Scottish cyberpunk.

That may sound deeply weird to anyone not familiar with, say, 70s Dr Who or the works of Terry Nation. But there's a distinct "smell" to the setting and it's concepts of authority and power that is very distinctive. It's the product of the time period when society knew people like Jimmy Savile or Sir James Goldsmith were operating, but couldn't speak it aloud.

A shitload of dystopian fiction just comes from taking reality and adding something to make it more interesting to watch rather than just depressing.

# ? Oct 29, 2021 05:52

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

Does Halloween Jack live on top of Manhattan Chase?

# ? Oct 29, 2021 06:01

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I live in a van down by the river.

# ? Oct 29, 2021 15:28

Cooked Auto: Aug 4, 2007; If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!

SLA has to be Scotland's finest contribution to the RPG hobby.
If not, certainly the most Scottish.

# ? Oct 29, 2021 16:41

Everyone: Sep 6, 2019; by sebmojo

Cooked Auto posted:

SLA has to be Scotland's finest contribution to the RPG hobby.
If not, certainly the most Scottish.

Well, unless White Wolf/Onyx Path does a Kickstarter for Highlander: The Haggising

# ? Oct 29, 2021 18:18

Devorum: Jul 30, 2005

Pvt.Scott posted:

The least Forgotten Realms could do is let you pick an “Elminster’s cousin” trait that gets you a favor to call in once per session, or something.

gently caress, the last thing FR needs is more reasons to interact with Elminster...much less a way to allow that one player that's way too into FR lore to compel interactions with him.

Everyone posted:

Well, unless White Wolf/Onyx Path does a Kickstarter for Highlander: The Haggising

Where's the link so I can get notified when the Kickstarter drops?

Devorum fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Oct 29, 2021

# ? Oct 29, 2021 19:00

Froghammer: Sep 8, 2012; Khajit has wares
if you have coin

Everyone posted:

Well, unless White Wolf/Onyx Path does a Kickstarter for Highlander: The Haggising

I'd play this and you would too

# ? Oct 29, 2021 19:02

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Someone post that crazy Darkplace episode because that would be absolutely my style of fantasy Scotland.
I'm a mature and well learned person that way.

E:OCH

By popular demand fucked around with this message at 19:18 on Oct 29, 2021

# ? Oct 29, 2021 19:15

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

If you want rules for playing Highlander in the WoD, I've seen at least 2 homebrews for it.

# ? Oct 29, 2021 19:54

Cooked Auto: Aug 4, 2007; If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!

If watching beeb docus has taught me anything about Scotland, they need to make a Raver: The Ravening game instead.

Cooked Auto fucked around with this message at 20:05 on Oct 29, 2021

# ? Oct 29, 2021 20:00

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

By the way, regarding SLA...I get the Matrix comparison, but for me the aesthetic similarities are thrown off by the way the PCs have a huge incentive to get 2000AD space marine armor ASAP.

# ? Oct 29, 2021 20:25

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

Cooked Auto posted:

SLA has to be Scotland's finest contribution to the RPG hobby.
If not, certainly the most Scottish.

Ooo...What about Tales of Gargentihr?

# ? Oct 29, 2021 21:23

Mors Rattus: Oct 25, 2007; FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

Age of Sigmar: Fyreslayers
Dad's House

Auric Runefathers are literal patriarchs, warrior-kings and teachers to their followers. Each one claims to contain within them the bloodline of Grimnir through his first followers, and this bloodline is the reason, they claim, they are so terrifying in battle. Their followers also say it's why they're so charismatic and powerful presences - and certainly those of weak will tend to flee before their glare. Most Runefathers are stoic people, even if in youth they burned with recklessness, because they are required to oversee the key functions of their lodge: ensuring gold comes in and ur-gold runes are used in battle. Both are constant demands which must be met regularly, and feeding both needs is a full time job.

The Battlesmiths of the lodge meticulously track every action their Runefather takes, keeping a detailed history of every deed, down to how many foes they defeat and what grudges they settled or started. The Zharrgrim track how much ur-gold is earned under their rule and maintain a constant tally. A Runefather knows in both cases that they will be compared to their ancestors, and it is very important to live up to those expectations as well as performing the holy duty of finding and freeing the essence of their god. Each must also be a skilled personal combatant, able to take on monsters and heroes alike, but without giving in completely to their rage and fury. They must have the wisdom to rule as well as the power to kill, and must learn when to hold back their anger and the anger of their followers - a task rarely easy for a Fyreslayer. It is only their word that can keep the berserkers under them from battle, and a successful Runefather's mere presence inspires their subjects to greater heights of skill.

The good news is they're allowed to take the relics of their lodge into battle with them. The oldest of these artifacts are those that came from the First-Forged, and many have immense power, but the greatest weapon any Runefather has is their sacred latchkey grandaxe. This is a long-hafted weapon that is handed down their bloodline, father to son. They require immense strength to wield and strike with enough force to cut an orruk in half, armor and all. The notched key design is able to trap weapons and snap them as well, making it a cunning and tactical weapon as well as a powerful one. The key-axe also serves as the master key to the lodge's vaults, where their ur-gold is stored.

Under the Runefather are the Auric Runesons. Each one is a literal child of their Runefather, a potential heir to the lodge's throne. While many cultures practice primogeniture, this is not the Fyreslayer way - each Runeson is vying to prove they are the most skilled and worthy child, and thus the one to be named heir. In the way of Grimnir, the best way to prove this is to be good at warfare. The Runesons compete with each other to perform ever greater feats of courage and strength in battle, trying to claim the greatest trophies and make the most impressive kills. They seek to be the first to charge and to face the strongest foes they can, and each will typically possess a large collection of trophies taken from their strongest kills to show off in their lodge's magmahold.

Because this competition is inherently dangerous and because most Runesons are recklessly brave in pursuit of advancement, death is a frequent threat. The wise Runefather has as many children as possible, to ensure at least one heir survives until their father's death. Successful lodges often have over a dozen Runesons at any given time, often with decades-long gaps in age, thanks to duardin longevity. Having a big family is serious business!

The royals consider the only beast fit for them to ride to be the Magmadroth. These creatures are the descendants of fallen Vulcatrix, born from her death. It is not rare for wild Magmadroths to come into conflict with Fyreslayer lodges, as they both make their homes under volcanic mountains and are both highly aggressive. Indeed, the only way to properly tame the beasts is to raise them from an egg, an art the Zharrgrim mastered long ago. Even then, only the most skilled and strong-willed Fyreslayers are able to impress themselves on the fiery creatures and get their service. A Magmadroth is a beast that radiates constant heat, having burning blood within its veins, and it is also a terrifying foe in battle, thanks to its powerful claws, fangs, horns and tail. They can also spew flaming bile at will, hot enough to ingite just about anything, and their scales are thicker than most armor. When they are cut, their enemies regret it - their blood is red-hot and more than capable of killing a careless foe when it spurts out. Pretty much only Runefathers, Runesons and Runesmiters are seen riding the things. When they do, no one can deny the threat they pose, and a single mounted Fyreslayer is often capable of holding off entire enemy lines or shattering flanks singlehandedly.

The legendary Fjul-Grimnir and his Chosen Axes are worthy of special mention. Fjul-Grimnir is a powerful Runefather, and he and his honored brothers-in-arms have borne so many scars and ur-gold runes that their skin turns aside blows like good steel armor now. They spend little time thinking about defence, however, focusing their combat style on pure aggression. They hail originally from Vostarg Lodge, but they are the warriors who bear the memory of one of the lodge's great failed oaths: the defense of the city of Shadespire from Nagash. They failed, and every century, the lodge sends a new group of warriors into the cursed city to free it. Thousands of warriors have never returned from these missions, but they keep happening, because a duardin is nothing if not stubborn. The oath cannot be abandoned. Fjul-Grimnir is the only Runefather ever to have taken up the cause, however.

Fjul-Grimnir is the great-grandfather of current Vostarg Runefather Bael-Grimnir. He could not bear to send any warrior in his place to atone for the failures of his ancestors, and so he and one hundred of his best fighters headed to Shadespire themselves. Fjul named a successor before he left, and after many years of not hearing back from him, the Vostarg assumed he had died. It's been several centuries since that time, and several more fyrds have gone into Shadespire, never to return. However, Fjul-Grimnir does yet live within the Mirrored City. He and his few surviving Chosen Axes have fought for centuries on end, trapped in the maze of time that surrounds the city. He has lost count of how many he has slain, and only three Chosen Axes remain alive with him - Tefk Flamebearer, Mad Maegrim and Vol Orrukbane, each a mighty warrior and each able to practically read the minds of the others after so long. They still hope to end the curse of Shadespire and fulfill the ancient oath of Vostarg Lodge, though the cause seems impossible.

The other half of Fyreslayer leadership is the Zharrgrim priesthood, overseen by the Auric Runemasters. A lodge's high priest bears the title Runemaster, and there is only ever one per lodge. Their duty is to craft the runes that the Fyreslayers bear into battle, hammered into their own skin. They are the duardin most attuned to Grimnir's nature, and so have the greatest ability to sense ur-gold. (Indeed, the knack for sniffing it out is what gets a Fyreslayer into the priesthood in the first place.) The most skilled have led warriors to it though it was buried under a mountain, swallowed by a monster or worse.

To become a Runemaster, one must tame their own temper. They are the calmest and most controlled of all Fyreslayers, using a mix of earned wisdom, taught knowledge and divine connection to Grimnir to advise their Runefather. No Runefather would ever take a major action without consulting their Runemaster, especially on anything involving ur-gold, war or oaths. That isn't to say most Runemasters are peaceful or calm by human standards - they absolutely aren't. They're just able to think rationally and keep a cool head while channeling their furious emotions into magmic power. Each one carries a brazier-staff lit from their hold's forge, which imbues it with divine power. This allows the staff to focus their rage in battle, granting them the power to call up magma from the depths of the earth to smite their foes or even to call forth potent prayers known as Magmic Invocations, which rival the power of Endless Spells. When a Runemaster senses that the enemy they are about to face bears any ur-gold, they will declare a [i]galthar-baraz[/b], essentially a holy war. This inspires the fyrd to righteous fury, making them willing to die to reclaim the ur-gold no matter what.

Under them are the Auric Runesmiters, lesser war-priests whose duty is to head into battle to honor Grimnir. They feel most at home in the midst of warfare, and the act of killing foes is a sacrment to Grimnir. They wield the emotions they feel as a tool to empower their chanted prayers, singing holy war songs in the midst of battle to inspire their fellows. They can reawaken the energies within the ur-gold runes, allowing more divine essence to be called out of them than could be done with merely fighting, and this makes the Fyreslayers bearing them only more powerful. Most Runesmiters prefer to get into the thick of the melee, whether on foot or atop a Magmadroth. They are able to use their prayers to generate massive amounts of heat to burn enemies with as well as releasing the divine power in the runes.

Different lodges have different traditions about how warriors should work with and support their Runesmiters. The Vostargi join them in song while fighting, while the Greyfyrd shout curses at their foes and swear mighty oaths when the song is begun. Warriors of the Lofnir tend to enter a state of religious mania, going into nonverbal, berserk furies as the divine flames conjured by their priests lick around their flesh. Quite literal flames - the Runesmiters have an understanding of stone and metal that lets them use their prayers to channel elemental energies, summoning firestorms and lava flows. They are even able to enter trances when their flesh is in contact with the earth, transforming the ground beneath them into molten magma and boring temporary tunnels to move their forces through quickly, allowing the warriors to ambush foes that do not expect such speed from a duardin force.

Next time: Oaths and Oath-Takers

# ? Oct 29, 2021 22:07

Everyone: Sep 6, 2019; by sebmojo

Froghammer posted:

I'd play this and you would too

I wouldn't just play that, I'd gleefully run it, too.

# ? Oct 29, 2021 22:09

Cooked Auto: Aug 4, 2007; If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

Ooo...What about Tales of Gargentihr?

I don't think I actually know about that one.

# ? Oct 30, 2021 02:15

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

Cooked Auto posted:

I don't think I actually know about that one.

I'll try to get an :effort:

post together

# ? Oct 30, 2021 05:37

Mors Rattus: Oct 25, 2007; FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

Age of Sigmar: Fyreslayers
The Warrior Masses

A Grimwrath Berzerker is another thing that typically a lodge only ever has one of. After all, they hold the position of finest warrior in the entire lodge, seen as demigods of battle who contain the fury of Grimnir himself. Unlike the Runefathers and Runemasters, however, a Grimwrath is never permitted to hold a leadership position, despite the devastation their fyrestorm greataxes are known for. They rarely socialize much, and even other Fyreslayers see them as gruff, aggressive and prone to violence. This is actually why they don't get to lead things - they may be amazing combatants, but they would destroy society. They are deeply impulsive people, and most resort to violence even to solve minor interpersonal disputes. Even their own lodges do not want them in charge of anything but killing.

Tradition does, however, grant them a rank outside of Fyreslayer law. They do not answer to the priesthood and cannot inherit rule, so while they remain loyal lodge members, they can essentially do anything they want outside the walls of the hold. They rarely wander very far, but in times when their rage is uncontainable, the Grimwrath will leave their homes to find things to kill that will not bore them. They usually return soon after, and they rarely leave a fyrd while it's on campaign - they like warfare, after all. Each one is not just capable of terrifying violence but also has a will stronger than anyone else, able to harness vast quantities of ur-gold. Other Fyreslayers can rarely bare more than a few runes at once without being overwhelmed, but a Grimwrath can often command the power of dozens simultaneously. Even the Zharrgrim are unsure what quality it is that grants these warriors such ability, and so anyone seeking to become a Grimwrath Berzerker must undergo the Test of Wrath to see if they can actually do it.

The Test of Wrath is not easy, and only the most aggressive Fyreslayers even consider taking it. Most of the time, the Zharrgrim deny them the right to even try, determining that they are not strong enough to survive the ritual. Only when an applicant proves so belligerent that their body begins to literally smolder with rage and heat will they be given the chance to try. The key portion of the ritual is the hammering of runes into the flesh, over and over again, until at last the applicant's body rejects the ur-gold and allows it to melt away, awakening Grimnir's own spirit within them. Or until they are incinerated in a pillar of killing flame. Those are the only possible results...and even some of those that survive the ritual are driven to madness and gold-rage by the pain and power of the runes.

Even a successful Grimwrath is at best an antisocial, violent killer, and at worst they may be dangerously unstable. They find purpose only in battle, and their only real joys in life after the Test of Wrath are those that come from fighting and killing. In combat, they become so singlemindedly terrifying that they can take on entire regiments, channeling their god's power into feats of incredible strength. The more foes surround them, the stronger they become, as their rage pushes their bodies into a glowing storm of movement that cannot be tracked by the eye. In this state, they can ignore wounds that would kill a far larger creature, and their axe becomes a mere fiery blur.

The Battlesmiths of a lodge occupy an honored position in society, though they are neither royal nor priestly. Rather, they perform the vital duty of remembering the past, memorizing the deeds of the lodge's ancestors, the battles they fought, the gold they claimed, the oaths they swore. The Fyreslayers do not write such things down or carve them into stone or metal - they keep these things alive in memory and spoken words, but they consider them no less binding than the histories of any duardin people. The Battlesmiths are the ones that remember, and when the fyrd heads to war, they follow so they can witness the heroism of their kin and write new poems and songs into the histories. They will chant these songs along with those of old, whether at home for fun or in battle to inspire their fellows to greater strength.

Like all Fyreslayers, a Battlesmith is a warrior as well as a historian. Each is entrusted to bear an icon of Grimnir, a holy relic that emboldens the Fyreslayers around them and reminds them why they fight. Their words push the berserkers to fight harder and ensure they tap all the power of their runes. The Battlesmiths also track their lodge's historic festivals, which usually are drinking contests accompanied by the recitation of the lodge's history and great deeds. For old lodges, these can last for weeks simply because of how much history they have. Each Battlesmith is selected by the lodge Runefather for the job from among the best smiths of the lodge. Each one makes their own icon personally, and they must be the best so that their holy relics are made with peerless skill - only the highest standards of craft are permitted.

The last special and unique form of Fyreslayer warrior is the Doomseeker. These are the warriors who have sworn the barazakdum, the doom-oath. They may do so because they failed in some great task, broke some key vow, were spurned by a lover for another, saw their lodge fall to ruin, or any other reason that a Fyreslayer might decide they have nothing left to live for but to die heroically. While a human might find some of their reasons trivial, they are exceptionally serious for the Doomseekers, because there is no turning back for them. To swear the barazakdum is to give up all lodge ties forever. Their final act as a member of their lodge is to forge their own weapons - the doomseeker axes. When they use the master-forge to light the brazier inside the axe, that is when they cease to be lodge Fyreslayer and become a Doomseeker, forever bereft of homeland and comfort. They must wander the Realms until they die - they cannot be redeemed, they can only find a death worthy of song.

Most Doomseekers find at least a death pretty quickly, just because wandering the Realms alone is very, very dangerous, especially when you're actively looking for monsters to fight. Many Doomseekers die alone and forgotten, with no glory in their fall. Some starve, get eaten by monsters or otherwise fail even to take down a foe with them. However, the ones people remember do not. They are the Doomseekers of legend, who continuously defeat great foes and master the art of combat over and over. With each victory, some of Grimnir's nature is found in them, and eventually, their axes burn the air itself when swung, and their war-cries can light fires. The combat style these warriors use is similar to that of the Grimwrath, but often even more reckless, as they deliberately seek to die. As they grow wounded, they seem to grow even stronger, fighting harder and harder the closer they get to death. As their fury seizes them, it passes even into their weapons, causing them to glow with heat, burning enemies as well as cutting them.

Most Doomseekers end up innately drawn to ur-gold, though they are rarely able to tell it's happening. The latent power of the gold calls to them, and the Doomseeker oath seems to draw in Grimnir's spirit. Doomseekers that survive for any significant length of time often find themselves wandering into the camps of Fyreslayer fyrds on campaign, and most will quickly offer their services in return for new runes. It is true that Doomseekers are more vulnerable to the gold-lust than other Fyreslayers, however, and some of the worst of them treat their fellow Fyreslayers as prey, to seize the gold from them by force. Either way, the Doomseeker will not remain longer than they need to - they will fulfill any oath of service they made to get rune access, then move on in search of something that can kill them.

The majority of Fyreslayer forces, however, are Vulkites and Hearthguard. These are the main martial traditions of the lodges, and they take their jobs very seriously. Their life is dedicated to war, and it is the labor of their arms that takes down the foes of the lodge and the client. They are still duardin, and they value that labor highly. The Vulkite Berzerkers are the most common of them. They practice the standard fighting style of the Fyreslayers - a reckless and aggressive one which leads them to ignore enemy blows if it means landing their own. They are legendary for their ability to fight while horribly wounded, continuing on in battle while covered in arrows or with their guts hanging out. There are a few different variations of the style, though. Some prefer paired fyresteel axes for maximum aggression, but others use a war pick and bladed slingshield buckler. This isn't quite a defensive choice, however - the shields are designed to be thrown at enemies while you charge, getting hits in faster. Once in melee, the shield is torn from wherever it landed and used to block blows again. Many Vulkite berzerkers also carry carefully made throwing axes. It takes many hours of practice to master axe throwing, but it's said that a proper berserker is able to cut the ear off a grot at twenty paces.

When the Vulkites prepare for battle, they perform various rites that often change depending on what lodge they're part of. These include ceremonial tattoos, ritual scarification, beard braids and careful use of hair oil on their crests to make them bigger and more rigid. One uniting factor, though, is the grundtogg - the hammering of ur-gold runes into their bodies. The leader of each Vulkite group is its Karl, chosen for aggression and experience in battle, and the Karl always oversees the rituals their fellow Vulkites partake in. The group will go into battle smiling and laughing, achieving a state of joyous combat as their priests chant around them and awaken their runes. Each Vulkite seeks to emulate their god in battle, calling challenges to their foes and trying to outdo their brethren in zeal and brutal joy as they fight.

The Hearthguard Berzerkers are the elite, chosen from the best warriors that a lodge's Vulkites produce. Their duty is a heavy one, for they most protect the royal family in battle, and must be willing to give up their own lives to save those of the Runefather and Runesons. The Hearthguard are recruited through ceremonial dueling tournaments, the exact nature of which varies by lodge. These are brutal events, capable of killing the fighters taking part, but they give each warrior a chance to show off their skill and earn prestige by being chosen. The criteria are usually a mix of physical strength, fighting skill and ability to handle multiple runes at once, though the degree any of those is weighted changes often. However, merely winning duels is only the first step. After that come the Trials of Grimfyre.

The Trials are a series of quests and challenges that test a prospective Hearthguard's loyalty and often involve fighting large animals and deadly monsters. Those who survive through all the Trials swear an oath of loyalty to the Runefather, who gives them a fire-blessed weapon from the lodge's treasure vaults. Tradition states that the Hearthguard Berzerkers must use either a broadaxe (a massive two-handed blade) or a flamestrike poleaxe (a long-handled axe-spear with a heavy and flanged brazier attached to it by a chain). The poleaxe's brazier is lit by flames from the lodge master-forge and is itself a weapon, able to smash bone and set people on fire. Both weapons are extremely large and unwieldy, but the Hearthguard train to use them as extensions of their own forms. Before each battle, the Karl of a Hearthguard unit will lead them in the swearing of oaths. They always renew their pledge to protect the royalty, even at the cost of their lives, and doing so seems to inspire them in battle. Hearthguard die far less often than you might think, able to survive wounds that would kill a lesser duardin by sheer grit and refusal to fall. Of course, once they know their charges are safe, they tend to fall over from the wounds they take, and so it's common that while they survive a battle, they may well die on the way home.

The Auric Hearthguard are also Hearthguard, but sworn to protect the Zharrgrim rather than lodge royalty. They are the temple guardians and soldiers of the priesthood, sworn to keep the forges burning. They also come from the Vulkite ranks, but the criteria to select them are different. They are not chosen for their bravery, but rather for their loyalty and resistance to temptation. Loyalty is deep-seated in Fyreslayer culture, though, so that's not all that hard to find. Resistance to temptation is harder - it's very easy for a Fyreslayer to give into their temper and allow anger or vengeance to cloud their minds. The Auric Hearthguard do not.

After all, their job when not on the march is to ensure no one gets into the vaults or the forge-temples without permission. They must be able to hold their ground no matter what, for if they could be drawn from their guard by anger or greed, that could be exploited. They remain aggressive and belligerent, but they have the will to contain it and channel their fury into their weapons rather than their charges. Each is armed with a magmapike - a sort of cannon turned into a spear that fires blasts of lava. Their anger is used to heat the blasts through some divine trick of the priesthood, and each blast is able to tear through armor easily, igniting the hair and skin beneath. Those that survive a volley of lava find the Auric Hearthguard are no less skilled using the weapons as spears.

When facing large foes that can't be taken down in one volley, they are trained to aim for limbs, so that when the magma cools and hardens, it restricts movement. This is especially useful for pacifying a lodge's Magmadroths when they get feisty, because while the creatures are not harmed by the heat of the shots, the weight does make them less able to move. These techniques are brought to the battlefield often, as the Auric Hearthguard accompany the Zharrgrim to war as bodyguards who will never falter nor give up even against far greater foes.

The End!

Next time, choose:
Chaos: Blades of Khorne or Disciples of Tzeentch
Order: Stormcast Eternals (3e Update)

Also new Nurgle book got announced today, so that's cool.

# ? Oct 30, 2021 17:31

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Go for Tzeench, he's challenging to write for so it might be interesting.

# ? Oct 30, 2021 17:35

MonsterEnvy: Feb 4, 2012; Shocked I tell you

By popular demand posted:

Go for Tzeench, he's challenging to write for so it might be interesting.

Sure thing little chance of a book update soon as well.

# ? Oct 30, 2021 19:56

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

That sure was an army book where the only mention of women was "They're totally equal to and just as badass as the men, but there so few of them we aren't going to represent them or talk about them beyond one paragraph."

# ? Oct 30, 2021 22:06

MonsterEnvy: Feb 4, 2012; Shocked I tell you

Cythereal posted:

That sure was an army book where the only mention of women was "They're totally equal to and just as badass as the men, but there so few of them we aren't going to represent them or talk about them beyond one paragraph."

They were mentioned more in Soulbound stuff. Though the Fyreslayers are still stated as being very patriarchal. We some art for some Fyreslayer ladies there which is nice.

# ? Oct 31, 2021 00:55

Everyone: Sep 6, 2019; by sebmojo

I was hoping to save Tzeetch for last but let's do it.

# ? Oct 31, 2021 01:26

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

MonsterEnvy posted:

They were mentioned more in Soulbound stuff. Though the Fyreslayers are still stated as being very patriarchal. We some art for some Fyreslayer ladies there which is nice.

I dunno if an rpg book produced by a different company counts for representation in TT.

# ? Oct 31, 2021 04:51

Mors Rattus: Oct 25, 2007; FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

Age of Sigmar: Disciples of Tzeentch

The power of Tzeentch is magic - and while magic is not rare at all in the Mortal Realms, the sheer concentrations of it that show up where the Disciples head to battle are. It only happens when they cast off all disguises and illusions and head to battle. The Disciples are not soldiers or fighters by nature. They rarely train with weapons or study strategy and tactics. These things, they believe, are boring. Conventional. Simple. Rather, the true nature of war is constant change, and it is no more special than minds or flesh to their magic. They believe in holistic warfare, attacking the spiritual, mental and physical nature of their foes all at once. Sorcery and magic are their main study, and their understanding of magic is so advanced as to be easily capable of direct reality alteration. They can hurl mutating blasts or killing flame with ease, read the future and the past, and bend luck and destiny to their command.

Once, very long ago, the daemons of Tzeentch could not interact with the Mortal Realms. They were held in place by the firm boundaries of reality, much to their frustration. They could only look into it from the mirrors of the Crystal Labyrinth, utterly frustrated. For ages they simply fought in the Realm of Chaos with the servants of the other Dark Gods, scheming in the event that they ever found a crack to tear open. They never really gave up on their goal to break through to the new reality, and they kept a watch on every mortal mind that ever reached out for secrets of arcane power. They would cluster around these dreams, whispering secrets and corruptive truths. They would watch for those who plotted against rivals and promise rewards to them in dream if they pursued the depths of darkness. It was a very slow process...but it worked. Cults began, very slowly, to form.

Not large ones. A mere handful or prayers, arcane theories and so on. But they grew larger over time, more powerful. The meteoromancers of Anvrok's Hanging Valleys turned from praying for rain to making sacrifices to what they called the God Mercurial in return for power over weather. This empowered Tzeentch. The rich and bored of Prosperis turned to dark researches in pursuit of new lands to conquer and prove their own supremacy. They empowered Tzeentch and were empowered in turn, though madness claimed them in the end. The scholars of remote Hysh sought strength to challenge the secrets buried in the Haixiah deserts, and Tzeentch was happy to show them the way - for a price. He taught them how to delve into secrets best ignored, and taught them to desire the forbidden lore. It all slowly added up over time, working away at the tiny fractures in reality left by greed, ambition and desire for change and luck.

The first daemons that entered the Realms did so through summoning, called on by sorcerers who thought to bind them. It was always a risky thing, especially since Tzeentch's daemons are all masters of magical power, being made of the stuff and devoted to its use. They are quick to find any imperfection in a summoning ritual and take advantage of it to pursue their own ends, not their summoner's. Such summoners are lucky if they are merely killed, and not enslaved to the daemons they sought to master. Others are transformed by the power of Tzeentch, their flesh turned to scales or feathers, their hands to claws. However, that is relatively rare. Most who give their souls to Tzeentch are never marked by it physically, and many of those who are use illusions and glamours to hide their nature from anyone outside their cult. They work in secret, ascending through daemonic patronage to the heights of magical skill and societal power. Then, they spread their knowledge as if it were natural to do so, allowing Tzeentch's taint to reach those open to it much more easily.

In the Age of Chaos, Tzeentch gained great power over the Realms, and particularly over Chamon, the Realm of Metal, but he was denied total victory. Sigmar's Tempest came before the Dark Gods were able to fully conquer the Realms, and Tzeentch suffered great setbacks. Despite this, his legions are already trying once more. The inversion of Shyish pleases the Changer of Ways, for it is a new thing that has released wild magical energies across reality. He encouraged the aftereffects, making them larger and more potent than they otherwise would have been, and the empowering of the living spells has been very useful to his forces.

But who is Tzeentch? He is one of the four greater gods of Chaos, brother to Khorne, Nurgle and Slaanesh. He is the secret ally of the Great Horned Rat, at least relatively often compared to his brothers. He is the greatest of all gods when it comes to magical might and arcane power, for his domain is change, and there is nothing that is better at changing the world than magic. Not that he is above mere physical conflict, mind you. He just prefers trickery and magic to brute force. His favorites are the cunning, the manipulative and the ambitious, who strike subtly rather than openly. He embraces change in all its forms, though, and so he loves human sacrifice, for the change from living to dead is deep and profound. Killing a person in an esoteric manner empowers Tzeentch, though many of his followers neither realize nor understand this fact - they think that he just likes sacrifices.

Tzeentch's true form is a bizarre one, his skin coated in crawling, ever-shifting faces that leer and mock those who see them. When he speaks, the faces move and change and vanish and reappear, often repeating his words with subtle differences or commenting disparagingly and mockingly on his remarks. Little about Tzeentch is constant, and he often seems to act at cross purposes with himself. His followers say that his scheming is far beyond any mortal mind, and certainly he's been instrumental in a number of things, such as the destruction of the World-That-Was. He sees the Mortal Realms as a toy, a plaything to do as he wishes with. His plans seem to be going relatively well - his cults have been embedded in several Free Cities, and the Tzaangor beast tribes pursue ancient lore and lost magic in the forgotten and wild lands. If he must, he will send daemonic legions out to purge the land with flames of mutation and change.

That said, a lot of Tzeentch's focus is on his brothers, not Sigmar or the forces of Order. The Chaos Gods are ever struggling against each other, and while they can unite against a common foe, they far prefer to play their games of power and try to best each other. More than anything, his greatest rival and most hated foe is his own brother Nurgle. Where Tzeentch encourages hope and ambition to alter the world, Nurgle embodies fatalism and acceptance that you cannot bring any change, telling people to wallow in their despair. Tzeentch is constant evolution, while Nurgle is stagnation and rot, repeating itself endlessly. They hate each other and never miss a chance to pit their forces against one another, whether that means battles in the Realm of Chaos, rivalries among cults in the Free Cities or wars between tribes in the wilderness. Tzeentch believe he's winning, given the rise of Alarielle against Nurgle in Ghyran, and he's had some hand in weakening Nurgle's forces. The daemon Kairos Fateweaver engineered the collapse of one of Bul'ghoh, one of Nurgle's favored mortal kingdoms. In the Spiral Crux of Chamon, Nurglite forces have been almost entirely eradicated, as Tzeentch's daemons have used transformation into metal to sterilize most of the Plague God's diseases and corruptions.

In the Realm of Chaos, Tzeentch's favorite daemons have been hard at work as well. The Changeling and the Blue Scribes infiltrated the Gardens of Nurgle and stole seven books containing cures for Nurgle's strongest diseases, and the swamps on the edge of the garden were crystallized in the recent War of Slime and Fire. However, Tzeentch has had his share of losses, too. Many of his daemons were stricken with magical blindness at Lom'nagini thanks to Nurgle's tailored contagions, and Tzeentch himself briefly contracted the disease, though he eventually cured it. But these are all part of the Great Game, which Tzeentch loves more than anything in the world. He especially loves encouraging infighting among...well, everyone, even his own forces. He once got Skarbrand, first among Bloodthirsters, to attack Khorne. He helped to destroy Nurgle's Ineffable Malady, and he assisted the aelven gods in capturing Slaanesh by leaking key secrets. He's more than willing to shoot himself in the foot if it seems entertainingly complex. He likes making plans but he likes seeing plans foiled almost as much - including his own. It's what makes fighting him so frustrating - he always seems to be enjoying it.

Tzeentch has many plots that run for centuries, impossibly complex and full of lies. His is the long game, for all that he's as prone to loving up his own plans as he is to achieving them. He often sets his Arcanite cults to infiltrate the forces of Order, because to Tzeentch, civilization is itself beautiful. It is far subtler, more complex and more prone to betrayal than the simple existence of daemons or beasts. Thus, he finds it better to encourage the Forces of Order and then corrupt them from within, even if it is less final and less successful than just killing everyone. His trickster daemons have become very good at manipulating people and leading them into darkness with the temptations of ambition and lore, and there are now hundreds of Arcanite cults across the realms, all devoted to magic, change and knowledge - and, of course, the Changer of Ways. He pushes rebellions, heresies and conspiracies without really caring what they're for, and it turns out to hurt Order and help Chaos more often than not.

Tzeentch's home in the Realm of Chaos is the Crystal Labyrinth, second only to Khorne's domain in size. It is a mass of shimmering, colorful pathways forming a massive maze. It is constantly growing, fueled by the magic of daemonic horrors growing new crystals wherever they pass. Fractal growths spread out from it into the realms of the other Dark Gods to allow daemonic assaults and to bind them all together in a web of magic and fate. The maze itself is a mass of illusions and contradictions, a tangled mess of time and space that flows between dreams and minds, pulsing with magical potential and Chaos energies. Only those of immensely strong will can survive there for any length of time, and the crystalline walls reflect the dreams, hopes and fears of those within the pathways. Physical harm is rare, but most cannot last long with their minds intact, especially when they are rocked by waves of change-energy that teleport them or reorder the dimensions of the labyrinth.

At the center of the Labyrinth is the Impossible Fortress, Tzeentch's personal stronghold. From his throne within, the Changer of Ways gazes out on the world and seeks those who are vulnerable to his temptations. He sends out impulses, whispers and maddened dreams to them, guiding them deeper into magical power and further from sanity. His goal is always one of two things - eternal glory or a horrible, self-caused fall. Either one is acceptable and entertaining. The appearance of the Fortress changes for each viewer based on their desires and aspirations. Some see it as made of crystal, like the Labyrinth around it, while others see walls of blue fire, flowing mercury or twisted blue stone. No matter what, the walls are always moving and changing, spiraling and writhing around themselves, bursting out and collapsing back in. Gates and portals open and close like screaming mouths. The interior is no more defined. Different parts obey different physical laws, seemingly at random, and gravity shifts without warning. Rooms explode or implode often, and those caught within are altered and transformed, frequently made into familiars for mortal travelers as both blessing and curse. (There is also a veiled reference to the Wizard of Oz actually being a story about a girl wandering into the Fortress and somehow escaping, twisted by Tzeentch so no one can use her legend to do it again.)

Even the daemons of Tzeentch rarely enjoy being in the Impossible Fortress. Only the Lords of Change can safely navigate it with any expectation of getting where they want to go, and this keeps Tzeentch safe from personal assault when he's at home. The other Chaos Gods have long since realized there's no real point in sending infiltration agents into the Fortress - they won't get anywhere useful. Better to draw Tzeentch out and ambush him outside it than waste time and power on breaking in. Besides, if left to his own devices, he foils his own plots at least half the time. The daemons spend most of their time in the nine Fractal Fortresses spread haphazardly across the Labyrinth. Which one is most important changes frequently as Tzeentch alters the rules of his hierarchy, but each is home to one of his nine Scintillating Hosts. Each host is led by a very potent daemon, known as its Overseer, who receives orders directly from Tzeentch and relays them to the others - usually altered to more closely align with their own goals. Each Host is made of a varying number of daemonic convocations, always at least nine and usually a multiple of nine, since nine is the sacred number of Tzeentch.

The Scintillating Hosts spend a lot of time fighting other daemonic forces in the Realm of Chaos, but everyone knows what Tzeentch is most interested in right now is the Mortal Realms. Thus, every Host is actively engaged in a vast number of plots at any given time dedicated to expanding their control over mortal fates or recruiting new Arcanite cults. Often, convocations will set out into the mortal world to pursue magical power sources, spread anarchy and chaos, or corrupt mortals to their service. They are often somewhat less subtle than their masters, though, resorting to open force when manipulation and deception fail them.

Next time: Chamon and the forces of Chaos

# ? Oct 31, 2021 16:15

Wapole Languray: Jul 4, 2012

The Pale King

This is the faction we're covering today. They're fairly small, but still really dumb!

Pale Pawns
So this is going to be our first "Generic vampire" and so I'm going to introduce some shared elements every goddamn generic vampire has, which I will quickly list just so you can see how both random and pointless the detail is. Every single generic vampire has a "when you hit 0 HP" ability that turns them into A Thing, which flees to turn into Another Thing to regenerate their HP. The Another Thing is what their name is: Pale Pawns turn into a white chess pawn piece. They also can all turn into An Animal or something else at will. So this bit will be a template of sorts!

So Pale Pawns are commoners. They're the lowest rank of Vampires, and eat pastries soaked in blood and white wine and wear big ruffs. They're just courtiers and not very interesting, they don't even have armor or weapons.
Animal: White Fox
Flee: None, they just instantly transform into chess pieces.

Pale Knights
Or Ordo Perilous, the warriors of the Pale King and equal to Bishops. There's 4207 of them, they love romance and hunting and religious artifacts. They follow a "strict and genuine code of chivalry". They're 5th level fighters with lances and longswords and plate armor.
Animal: None, they can't shapeshift.
Flee: Mist

Pale Bishops
Advisors and chaplains. For some reason they have goat heads? and preach the "Gospel of the Uncreator" whatever that is. They're 10th level Clerics with some spells. Most are general cleric stuff, but they have two... notably weird awful ones? Once per day they can cast Blasphemous Frolic or Touch of Antithesis. Both are awful! Blasphemous Frolic makes everyone in 50'... desecrate corpses. Like you "desecrate, fondle, and vomit on" corpses near you when cast. It gets harder to save against and lasts longer the more corpses there are around. Let's be honest, this is a spell that makes your characters commit necrophilia. The other one is a no-save touch spell that disables all Cleric magic for two days, so gently caress your party Cleric, geeze.
Animal: None
Flee: Mist

Pale Rooks
Not vampires! They're... 15' tall ugly monsters that aren't really explained as to what they are or how they work. They "loll quietly in blood-filled pools in lonely towers, inventing strategems" normally, and are always found in pairs. They're big rear end tanks with 20HD and Plate+Shield AC. Both Rooks do d8+2 damage, with no to-hit roll. It's just automatic hit every time. Also one is a chain flail with a 40' range.

Also they're immune to magic.

These will chew through most non-Fighters ridiculously quick, are immune to basically all quick-kill methods, and are massive tanks in a game engine that does not do long drawn out combats well at all.

The March Hare
An Al-Mi'raj who works for the Pale King as a Returner: It delivers items and messages to the Pale King, but cannot take anything FROM him. Why? Who knows, WONDERLAND! He lives in the Hatter's... Hat.
It knows Power Word: Bleed, but an original version which is awful. It says it, and anybody hearing the word in 40' start bleeding from their eyes for as long as they see the March Hare, even if it's dead. Damage is d4 the first round, then d8, then d10, etc. up to d20, then it steps down to d12, and so on, going up and down until you can no longer see the Hare. It can cast this 5 times a day.

Sleeper]
The sleeper is the Doormouse, and acts as a spy for the Pale King. It has three notable powers. One, it can teleport from teapot to teapot. Two, if you eat it y ou fall asleep for 3 days. And the third... it can shapeshift into a a womans corpse.

The Hatter
Right this is another confusing annoying NPC! So the Hatter is... a time wizard. Whenever encountered he's a random age. When young he's the kings messenger, but only to deliver things, the Hare has to... take them back. He has a broken watch he wants to get fixed, and if he does he'll decide which side of the War the Pale King should join. Everyone else hates the hatter: you can claim to be a guest of his Tea Party to avoid the taxes the Pale Kings court constantly levies on anybody they meet, but everyone will hate you. This is obviously a Tea Party American Politics Joke, which is great coming from a fake progressive who uses politics as a shield to abuse women.

Anyway he has the same sort of stupid roll to randomly generate stats as the Jabberwock did, but that's rather inconsequential compared to his random time effects. So every round you roll a d8 to see what random magic-like effect he performs. They're... all bad:
1. Casts Confusion in 50' radius.
2. Hatter and a touched target vanish for 2 rounds.
3. Hatter and his allies get another round of actions. This is egregious cause loving with the action economy is never a good idea.
4. He steals your turn from you an gives it to himself or an ally.
5. Drains a level, AND makes you forget everything that happened since you gained that level.
6. Casts sleep, but you also lose d4 HP every round.
7-8. The Hatter's watch breaks and everyone within 15' of the Hatter has to repeat whatever they were doing that around over and over again until the watch is fixed or moved 30' away. Yes the GM could literally just permalock you into this state.

Also the hatter can make you answer any question he asks honestly, just as an extra bonus.

Pale King
So the Pale King's real name is Artorius, so King Arthur. King of Gilliam-Brairbraddock husband of good Queen Jenny. Gilliam is a reference to Terry Gilliam, and Briarbraddock sounds like Brian Braddock, aka Captain Britain from Marvel Comics who is also connected to Arthurian mythos. So he's british I guess. He's a big beardy guy who's super cautious and obsessed with taxes. He wants to recruit the Sphinx and Unicorn into his army.

Adventures involving him and his faction involve:
1. Errors and confusions
2. Taxation or audits
3. Jousting
4. Hunting
5. Chess
6. Hats
7. Animals
8. Confections

This is... not really that helpful? As a GMing advice thing? Some actual adventure hooks would be better?

Anyway he's a Vampire, 20HD, 14th Level Fighter. A LOT Of stuff in this book has 20HD, which is an INCREDIBLE amount of health in B/X D&D which LotfP is based on. This guy has more HD than a Purple Worm! Which I remind you *is a Sandworm from Dune*. Anyway he can speak all animal and monster languages, and weirdly cannot Charm or Bite. Instead anybody who eats a special cake or confection he gives them becomes brainwashed to be loyal to the King or whoever gave them, until the giver is killed. So he's... got an ability you don't get a save against that can just mind control the entire party. Reminder: enchanted food is a fairy thing, not a VAMPIRE THING.

Anyway we're done with him! Next time The Colourless Queen

# ? Nov 1, 2021 02:49

Tulul: Oct 23, 2013; THAT SOUND WILL FOLLOW ME TO HELL.

Privateers and Gentlemen: WASPs at Sea

Privateers and Gentlemen is a historical RPG published in 1983; it takes place in the late Age of Sail - the latter half of the 18th century and beginning of the 19th. Players take the role of naval officers (usually junior), serving in either the venerable British Royal Navy, the scrappy new American Navy, or having struck out on their own as privateers. P&G is a companion to Heart of Oak, a wargaming set of rules for ship combat. The book of the rules covering the RPG side is technically titled Promotions and Prizes, but I'm going to keep calling the whole shebang Privateers and Gentlemen to keep things simple.

So, up front, Privateers and Gentlemen is a game from the dawn of (tabletop roleplaying) time, and it sure feels like it. I would describe the layout as "haphazard" or "garbage" depending on how tactful I was feeling, there's more questionable design decisions than there are pages, and there's a conspicuous lack of an editor credit. There's also a few things that... show the age of the game, to put it mildly. I'm not going to put the author personally on blast too much due to the age of the book, but I do hope he'd be apologetic about some of the things in this book if you asked him about it.

Speaking of which: Privateers and Gentlemen is credited to Jon Williams, better known as Walter Jon Williams these days, and who is probably most famous as the author of the modestly influential cyberpunk book Hardwired. The first books he wrote, however, were a series of Age of Sail novels by the same name as this game. I would guess, at the minimum, that they take a lot from the Horatio Hornblower and Aubrey-Maturin series, but I haven't read them, so I can't comment on their quality.

So! I'm going to go more-or-less in order by the book, so we start off with an introduction mostly just explaining all of the various things I just explained, as well as an early formulation of Rule Zero:

quote:

One thing I must emphasize: no rule in this booklet is inviolable, and any rule may be changed or overlooked with the agreement of the referee and the players. The rules should be considered guidelines only, and may be 'improved' by any additions the players see fit. I have seen more role-playing games ruined by pedantic adherence to a set of rules than from any other cause, and this should be avoided. For instance, strict interpretation of the rules might mean that, in a case in which there is more than one player, one might be stuck on shore for an entire game-year, while the others were at sea, battling for loot and promotion. However realistic this may be, it is not fair to the players; whether on shore or on board a ship, the referee ought to strive to keep the players together.

Which is a nice sentiment, particularly for the time, although "strict interpretation" in this case means "any interpretation".

Next is... character creation! Putting any kind of rules in an RPG handbook before it tells you to get to work is an innovation that would not exist until long past this game's time, as was the idea of separating out the character creation process from other rules (see my earlier comments about the layout). We are, of course, going to create a couple of characters, to demonstrate the... process. Oh lord is this a process. Now, pick up your 3d6, because it's time to roll for stats!

Characters in Privateers and Gentlemen have eight characteristics that are pretty much the D&D standard with a couple of stats getting split into two:

Strength is a stat in this game, as was mandated by US law until well into the '90s. If you have a high Strength, you can carry lots of stuff and hit people hard, you know the drill.

Sense Acuity is the clunky '80s name for your perception. It helps combat a little and you roll it for spot/listen/taste checks ( just a d20 roll under), it doesn't get a whole lot of rules attention.

Mass is, quite literally, just how big your character is. It's basically your HP, so if you roll up the world's chonkiest naval officer, you will be able to take more bullets and swords to the face, but you'll be easier to hit because of how big a target you present.

Constitution is your general toughness. Privateers and Gentlemen has lovingly rendered rules for the naval experience of getting a limb mangled and then having it sawed off by a surgeon, so this is a pretty helpful stat.

I'm going to quote the description of Intelligence verbatim:

quote:

Represents the innate ability of a character to learn and to perfrom [sic] the technical aspects of a sailor's life, and so does not measure intelligence per se. The technical details affected by Intelligence include: 1, ships' gunner, 2. sailing ability, and 3. general seamanship, including making landfalls, navigation, and maneuvering a ship out of difficult situations. Intelligence also helps to determine how many foreign languages a player-character can learn.

So, this is your ability to do sailor stuff, and also, despite what the game claims, your general smarts score. You might suspect that in a game all about playing sailors, this is pretty important, and you would absolutely be right. This is this game's undisputed god-stat.

Dexterity! As per usual, if you want to fight anyone, you want a good score in this.

Intuition's main effect is that the referee (NOT the player, we are forcefully instructed) can roll this for you to see if you can get a clue about the current situation or, more specifically, tell if someone is lying. There's a whole shitload of :words:

about how human intuition works (in our actual world) and what penalties you might take to the roll and how referees should smack their player's hands if they start asking for Intuition checks too often and on and on, and overall as I player I would take away the distinct impression that none of this is worth it, outside of the lie detector function. Also the roll is a d20 roll under and a 20 is critical failure that gets you "exactly the opposite information from what happens to be the case", so have fun with that.

Charisma actually isn't necessarily a dump stat here, since the PCs have a whole crew of proles to keep in line. The lash only gets you so far in preventing mutiny.

While rolling your stats is bog-standard D&D 3d6 down-the-line, Privateers and Gentlemen is unusually generous for a game of its time. It suggests that either A) if you roll up a terrible character, you should be allowed to reroll, or B) you should roll three sets of stats and take the best. We'll be doing the latter.

I rolled: