Being summoned for jury duty

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Being summoned for jury duty

vanisher

A circle of lawyers lights some candles. I am ripped from my realm and brought to judge the fate of this jaywalker.

# ? Dec 7, 2021 01:15

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 22:45

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

be sure not to write your True Name on the jury forms

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Dec 7, 2021 01:19

nut

i'm sorry your honour I am inherently biased against you free palestine free tay-k

# ? Dec 7, 2021 01:21

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

consider urself fortunate OP. It could have been Jerry duty

:jerry:

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Dec 7, 2021 01:55

Dads Dip Cup

so tired of this pay-to-win legal system, I can't compete against people who can just pay to keep summoning until they have an entire panel of ultra rare jurors

# ? Dec 7, 2021 02:04

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Explain that while you will do your duty and sit through the case your decision about guilt will be determined using the science of phrenology.

# ? Dec 7, 2021 02:06

Dads Dip Cup

*on the phone outside the courthouse*

"yeah I'm still here, it's taking forever as always. they've had to recess four times already to regenerate MP. not sure how long it's going to be, I'll call you back once I know something"

# ? Dec 7, 2021 02:21

vanisher

Before the lawyers can finish their chant a warrior I've made my champion bursts into the Jury Summoning Crypt and destroys their artifacts

# ? Dec 7, 2021 03:02

vanisher

A witch throws lizard bones into a cauldron, glowing smoke pours out and fills the room. I appear in a circle of chalk with strange runes and animal organs making a pattern on the floor. I'm asked if I watch much local news and after saying that I do the witch grunts angrily and I'm whisked back to my home.

# ? Dec 7, 2021 03:05

google THIS

Turns out I was summoned to the murder trial of the guy who performed a human sacrifice to summon the last panel of jurors, this system doesn't seem very efficient

# ? Dec 7, 2021 03:28

Manifisto

the words are ritually chanted and the final juror crashes through the wall yelling "OH YEAH!" this is kool aid sisyphus, doomed to jury service anew each and every day.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Dec 7, 2021 03:39

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

you dont have to serve jury duty if you cast racism :evilbuddy:

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 7, 2021 03:59

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

*ties a bungee cord around my waist to counter the magic of the summoning spell, and for a few laughs*

# ? Dec 7, 2021 04:59

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

I cast circle of protection against lawful.

# ? Dec 7, 2021 05:49

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Just as long as it's not an accidental death case involving falling off a ladder.

# ? Dec 7, 2021 14:34

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

all those consecutive life sentences seemed kind of arbitrary until the judge turned out to be a necromancer

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 7, 2021 17:41

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Nosfereefer posted:

all those consecutive life sentences seemed kind of arbitrary until the judge turned out to be a necromancer

# ? Dec 7, 2021 17:58

xcheopis

Attorneys for both sides hastily invoke Dismissal when I tell the judge I'm true neutral.

# ? Dec 7, 2021 21:10

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

WIZARD COURT

"in arcane law, crimes concerning magic is considered especially heinous"

every tuesday at 02:00 AM judge Mack "Magick" McMagick will preside over WIZARD COURT

only real crimes, only real WIZARDS

WIZARD COURT

judge mcmagick: "i banish you to the eight circle!"

also, the entire jury's composed of wizards

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 7, 2021 22:16

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

defence lawyer: "i cast 'OBJECTION'!"
judge: (rolls D20) objection counter-spelled

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Dec 7, 2021 22:21

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

The court spends the equivalent of 100 gold pieces in spell components summoning a juror, but I only get paid $40 a day?

# ? Dec 7, 2021 22:29

google THIS

Nosfereefer posted:

defence lawyer: "i cast 'OBJECTION'!"
judge: (rolls D20) objection counter-spelled

# ? Dec 7, 2021 22:38

google THIS

The jury deliberates for days because there's only a 1/2048 chance of rolling a unanimous verdict

# ? Dec 7, 2021 22:38

Lock: hardcore sound gets you hypah

Nosfereefer posted:

WIZARD COURT

"in arcane law, crimes concerning magic is considered especially heinous"

every tuesday at 02:00 AM judge Mack "Magick" McMagick will preside over WIZARD COURT

only real crimes, only real WIZARDS

WIZARD COURT

judge mcmagick: "i banish you to the eight circle!"

also, the entire jury's composed of wizards

https://giant.gfycat.com/ThoseAcrobaticCapybara.webm
so much love to vanisher for the winter '21 sig!

huge love to Tiny Myers for the fall '21 sig!

# ? Dec 8, 2021 12:53

nut

OJ sweating as he is about to try on the glove of infinite holding

# ? Dec 8, 2021 16:09

ChubbyChecker

vanisher posted:

A witch throws lizard bones into a cauldron, glowing smoke pours out and fills the room. I appear in a circle of chalk with strange runes and animal organs making a pattern on the floor. I'm asked if I watch much local news and after saying that I do the witch grunts angrily and I'm whisked back to my home.

# ? Dec 10, 2021 00:42

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Nosfereefer posted:

WIZARD COURT

"in arcane law, crimes concerning magic is considered especially heinous"

every tuesday at 02:00 AM judge Mack "Magick" McMagick will preside over WIZARD COURT

only real crimes, only real WIZARDS

WIZARD COURT

judge mcmagick: "i banish you to the eight circle!"

also, the entire jury's composed of wizards

you might be thinking of Knight Court

# ? Dec 10, 2021 01:33

alexandriao

Areola Grande posted:

consider urself fortunate OP. It could have been Jerry duty

# ? Dec 10, 2021 01:40

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 22:45

Prof. Crocodile

critical miss on my saving throw now I have to be the foreman :negative:

# ? Dec 10, 2021 22:41

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Being summoned for jury duty