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A candy cane Wake the Big Man
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Dec 14, 2021 02:56
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 09:10 |
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A mammal, brown furred. Less than 5 digits on each limb. Purge all drugs from self, others, food and drink on site, and use the heightened senses from the purge to trace the psychic energy that awakened the ghost.
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Dec 14, 2021 04:00
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Ruminant Wake the Big Man
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Dec 14, 2021 04:11
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A badger. Receive a haunting vision of what occurred on the time of Caltime's death. BEHOLD THE GRIM TRIPPY TRUTH! After which you're left disgustingly sober and with a splitting headache. (This is why you don't mix drugs and psychic powers.)
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Dec 14, 2021 12:57
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A tree Take a bite of Santa's leg. Just a little nibble.
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Dec 14, 2021 14:17
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 Image is of another bird, possibly a robin! The double-bird catches everyone on the hop. Current score: 9-5. Random action chosen: 1d5 5 Dog Kisser's Bite the Big Man on the leg action chosen. Aw, piss! Never mind the LSD you've just taken. The caffeine has beaten it to your bloodstream and is filling your whole body with that gooood feelin'. You explain to Caltime that you have to go wake the Big Man - you're running a little late as it is! She nods at you, and picks up The Amorous Admiral from the pile of books next to her. "Must be new," she mutters. You knock on the door loudly, then make your way into the Big Man's bedroom. You see the familiar sight of two people sleeping peacefully, the Big Man snoring his head off. Another compulsion enters your head. What, exactly, does the Big Man taste like, you wonder? You can't believe the subject hasn't come up before now. All these years and no-one's bothered to check if their boss and leader is edible! You slowly lift up one corner of the duvet, exposing his right calf. Very, very cautiously, the caffeine pounding in your veins, you stick your tongue out and lick the leg. He tastes of hair and skin and a little bit of mint? Further tests are required! You open your mouth wide, put your teeth next to his body and slowly close... WHAMM! The top of your head is swatted away from the Big Man's body with suprising speed, if not unsuprising strength, knocking you all the way back to the door. The leg kicks the duvet back over itself and resumes snoring, at a lower volume than previously. You take your opportunity and approach the head of the bed. You clap your hands together and theatrically say "Gee, a mosquito? Here? Crazy! Oh, good morning Sir, it's time to get up, actually-" "Mrr," says the sleeping man. You hear a quiet smooch as the Big Man kisses his slumbering wife, then slowly legs appear, find the ground and the Big Man rises out of the bed. Before you stands a late-middle-aged large, portly man wearing nothing but heart-print boxer shorts (you'd call them cliché, he calls them iconic). "Mrrrrrnrrrrr, JrrrrrTrrr,", he says to you in greeting. His eyes blink at you wearily. "Yrrr lrrr lk srrrrr." In the silence that follows, you think you hear Caltime take a big slurp of her LSD-laced coffee. One hour, forty minutes remain. Caltime and you have recently ingested LSD. The roof door remains unlocked. The soup and the coffee brewer are laced with LSD.
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Dec 15, 2021 02:53
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Going for that triple bird Push the big man towards the shower, make his coffee cup ready
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Dec 15, 2021 03:39
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A mammal, brown furred. Less than 5 digits on each limb. Purge all drugs from self, others, food and drink on site, and use the heightened senses from the purge to trace the psychic energy that awakened the ghost.
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Dec 15, 2021 03:56
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A candy cane Take the Big Man on a spirit quest to solve the murder
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Dec 15, 2021 03:59
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 Image is of a reindeer looking at a light, with a bird in their antlers! Point to AJ_Impy, with Slaan picking up the assist. Current score: 10-5. Purge all drugs from self, others, and the food & put the Big Man in the shower actions chosen. The Big Man puts on his dressing gown and heads toward the kitchen. The realisation hits you like an extra-cold snowball. The drugged coffee! You must stop him from drinking it. You follow him through the door, take the inside line, duck past him and run headlong into the counter. Your plan works; the cup is knocked over, spilling its laced contents all over your hat and head. "Shrrr. Trrr tr shrrrrr, thrrn." the Big Man says in his pre-caffeine drawl. He turns around and leaves the kitchen. Now's your chance. You open the freezer and reach all the way to the back, pulling out a single frozen brussles sprout. You slam it into your mouth and start to chew. The bile rises almost instantly and you spend the next minute vomiting into the kitchen sink. You hear the sound of the shower being turned on, follow by the Big Man's not-unpleasant singing. The taps are now off limits - to use them now would ruin the shower's temperature balance and invite further wrath. Only one thing for it - you turn off the cooker and tip all the drugged French Onion soup you'd made earlier down the drain, clearing both it and your mess. You'll have to wait a few minutes for water service to resume before you can clean and restart the coffee and soup making. You take a moment to pop your head into the office. Caltime seems perfectly content reading her book. You look at her with your psychic vision; all her ghostliness is tightly contained within the doll's form, making it quite difficult to even sense her, let alone induce vomiting. You decide you'll just have to risk it; hopefully, since it was only one espresso shot, it'll be like more of a microdose-type-thing, yeah? Yeah. One hour, thirty minutes remain. The coffee and soup need making. Caltime has recently ingested a small amount of LSD. The roof door remains unlocked.
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Dec 16, 2021 03:42
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A squirrel Electrocute the shower
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Dec 16, 2021 04:04
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Dog Call Rudelf to start getting the team and sleigh ready
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Dec 16, 2021 04:05
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A non-squirrel non-dog non-reindeer mammal smaller than a reindeer. Use Elf powers to make it snow in the kitchen in very tightly defined areas. Use the pure snowmelt to make coffee and soup.
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Dec 16, 2021 04:21
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A candy cane Consult Rudelf
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Dec 16, 2021 09:24
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 Image is of a baby deer and their small bird friend! Is this enough to satisfy AJ_Impy and their non-reindeer desire? I'm gonna go with yes. Current score: 11-5. Make it snow, use snow to make coffee & soup action chosen. You close your eyes. You need water. You open your psychic senses, and try to focus on the nothingness around you, the very air you're breathing. You hold your hands out and exhale a breath into them, moving it both infra and ultra. The latter shows promise; you feel a chill as the temperature of your hands drop. Another deep breath onto your cold hands and beads of cold water start to form on your fingers. You reach further ultra, and a third breath. The beads turn to ice, and then start falling from your hands into the sink, a little bit of self-produced snow. You hear the shower being turned off. The taps are okay to use once again. You set the snow-water to one side and throughly rinse the coffee brewer. Once you're satisfied it's clean, you add the snow-water and start the cycle again. While that's brewing, you wash the pots and start boiling the water for the soup. You dig out the backup onions and start chopping as fast as you can. You stick the chopped onions into the frying pan along with the other ingredients. Once they're caramelising nicely, you go back to the coffee brewer and make another Pumpkin Spice Latte with no psychedelics whatsoever. One hour, twenty minutes remain. The soup is in progress. Caltime has recently ingested a small amount of LSD. The roof door remains unlocked.
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Dec 17, 2021 04:09
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Corvidae Make brekkie for the big guy while we're at it
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Dec 17, 2021 04:17
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A mammal, unaccompanied by a bird. Enter the Elfatar state and consult with memories of the past to determine what happened to the murdered elf and how it was reported at the time.
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Dec 17, 2021 04:56
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At least two of the same animal Use our Astral Projection to possess Caltime and see if we can get some answers
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Dec 17, 2021 09:38
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A badger. Slow time a bit so you can zip around to do all the other necessary post-Big Man waking-up chores (not too much though, best not mess with the Big Man's own temporal fields). Ask Caltime how she's doing, and sound like a chipmunkspeakingreallyfastdoingso.
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Dec 17, 2021 11:15
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At least one rabbit Lay out the big man's work clothes for him.
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Dec 17, 2021 18:19
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 Image is of a hedgehog. Yet another AJ_Impy success story. Current score: 12-5. Enter the Elfatar state and consult with memories of the past to determine what happened to the murdered elf and how it was reported at the time action chosen. The gently caress is the Elfatar state? *googles* Ach, for pity's sake... The Big Man walks into the kitchen, wearing a dressing gown, all freshly laundered. If anything, the sense you get of mint has only increased. He reaches for the freshly-made coffee, picks it up and looks at you quizzically, like he's expecting another outburst. You just nod at him. He takes a careful swig of coffee. A smile starts to spread across his face, and he relaxes. "Trr,", he says. He takes a seat and another swig of coffee, holding his cup in his right hand. His left hand, just resting on top of his left leg. That's your way in. You approach him and then, psychic senses active, touch his left hand while trying to focus on two He's not expecting this kind of attack from someone he trusts this early in the workday, and his own psychic energies are relatively unguarded. You remember. You see Caltime as she was in life, sat in her chair behind the desk of the Workshop Complex library. The viewpoint resembes CCTV footage - you don't hear a thing. Another elf comes in, and you see the two of them talk. Caltime reaches under the counter and hands the second elf a book. The other elf nods, and produces a card. Caltime makes a note in her journal, stamps the library book and the other elf leaves. She's back in her chair as the customer reaches the door, opens it, goes through, smirks and then, for seemingly no reason, slams the door shut behind him. A previously un-noticed, precarious book rattles off a high shelf and plummets- WHAMM! The force of the Big Man's left hand smacking you square in the face knocks you to the ground. He drains the rest of his coffee and then stands up, reaches down and easily picks you up. He sets you down on one of the kitchen-adjacent break room's sofas, then takes a step back, his gaze fixed on you. "Thank you for the coffee, Jingleterry. And if you ever try to read my memories like that again without asking I will personally end you. Now. You wake me up late, don't think I didn't notice that. You look like absolute poo poo, two large bruises to the head (three, soon). A cut on your cheek. You dare try and access my mind. You deliberately spill my coffee, then make me another cup." He draws himself up to his full height and crosses his arms, towering over you. "One chance, Jingleterry. What. Is going. On?" One hour, ten minutes remain. The soup is in progress. Caltime has recently ingested a small amount of LSD. The roof door remains unlocked. No actions this time! How do you explain your behaviour this night?
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Dec 18, 2021 05:25
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A bird "Go gently caress yourself you imaginary behemoth."
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Dec 18, 2021 05:43
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Moose That doll over there is the ghost of a murdered elf and she has been dropping books on people's heads and now there is a murderer to find and why cant it ever be an easy Christmas eve
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Dec 18, 2021 06:22
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A mammal of some size 'twixt hedgehog and moose. Still no bird. "This."
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Dec 18, 2021 10:54
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A candy cane Resolving a spectral disturbance on the premises has escalated into a murder investigation
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Dec 18, 2021 22:25
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 Image is of a star atop a tree! I think that's only the second non-animal we've had this year. No correct guesses. Current score: 12-6. Random action chosen: 1d4 3 AJ_Impy's "This" response chosen. "I got into a fight with a ghost. She dropped some books onto me. I contained her inside a doll. She says she's Caltime, a librarian who died here quite a while ago. She's currently sat in the office, reading a book. The reason I, well, I wanted to see how she, er, you know, was to, if there was any foul play, unfinished business, you know, ghosts..." You trail off. "Um. The coffee, it was laced with LSD. Same with the soup. I put it in there, it was a compulsion, I don't know what came over me. It's like... sometimes I just lose control, you know?" The Big Man looks at you impassively, his eyes boring through you. You find you can't meet his gaze. "Anything else?" You sigh. "The mosquito... was me. Another compulsion. And I think I left the roof door unlocked." He nods. "Rudelf?" The question startles you. "Huh. Haven't seen or spoken to him since breakfast, Sir." "Hmm. Go tend to the soup while I call him." Greatful for the distraction, you busy yourself with finishing the frying of the onions and adding them to the stockpot while the Big Man picks up the kitchen phone and dials the stables. You pop the lid back on and reduce the heat to a simmer. The Big Man hangs up the phone. "You said we have a visitor in the office?" "Yes," you say, following him to the office. You walk in behind him. The big stack of books is still by your desk. On one of the other chairs sits a Librarian Barbie doll, with an empty espresso cup and a copy of The Amorous Admiral with a bookmark in. She's completely motionless. The Big Man looks at the doll, then at you. "This is the doll with the ghost inside? The one that roughed you up so bad?" "Yes," you say. "C'mon, Caltime, say something." Nothing happens. "Of course!" you exclaim. "The coffee! She drunk it! The LSD must have put her into some kind of quiet funk, like a K-hole or something! I'm so sorry, Caltime! I didn't know what I was doing!" The Big Man picks up the doll and holds it close to his eyes, looking over it very carefully, before turning his gaze back onto you. "So. This is not just a doll. This is the spirit of a deceased former employee that you fought, transferred into this coporeal shell, and has now been drugged into a stupor." "Y-yes..." you nod, suddenly uncertain. The office clock chimes the hour. One hour remains. Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Dec 19, 2021 |
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Dec 19, 2021 03:50
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Present(s) Look at him with complete and utter honesty. Yeah, that's right.
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Dec 19, 2021 04:16
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A mammal bigger than a mouse and smaller than a bear with no bird present. Undo the effect of LSD on the ghost through the simple reality that the doll lacks the wherewithal to be effected, no nervous, lymphatic, endocrine or blood systems. No brain chemistry because no brain, it's a doll, and LSD has no impact on the dead the same as any other consumable substance.
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Dec 19, 2021 05:00
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A candy cane Check on the stew
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Dec 19, 2021 06:33
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 Image is of a bear and a bird! The classic Banjo-Kazooie. No correct guesses. Current score: 12-7. Random action chosen: 1d3 1 Slaan's complete honesty action chosen. You shake the doubt from your voice. "Yes," you repeat, more forcefully. The Big Man gently sets the doll back down where she was sitting. "OK," he says. "Prep the lists, I'll go get dressed." As soon as the bedroom door closes Caltime bursts into giggles. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Did you see that? He thought I was a doll!" "What the hell, Caltime? He probably thinks I'm crazy!" "Aren't you?" the doll replies in all seriousness. "You tried to drug the Big Man. You did drug me. And you can't explain why, can you?" She turns her gaze on you, an adorable counterpart to the previous stare you'd recently endured. You slink away and work at the Big Man's computer in silence, bringing up this year's Naughty or Nice lists. Caltime resumes her reading. "How are you, uh, feeling now?" you eventually ask. "Fine now, though I must say the scene in this book on the Valenciada was very vivid!" Caltime replies. Fifty minutes remain. The soup is in progress. The roof door remains unlocked.
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Dec 20, 2021 02:52
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A mammal bigger than a mouse and smaller than a bear with no bird present. Check the trap in the roof door corridor whilst prepping the lists.
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Dec 20, 2021 08:12
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Reindeer Have the librarian solve her own murder by having her read a bunch of Holmes and Poirot books
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Dec 20, 2021 09:21
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Badger Slowly realize what's actually been going on, this whole time. No, it can't be. Can it?
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Dec 20, 2021 17:54
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 Image is of a little mouse! Sadly, a mouse is not bigger than a mouse. No correct guesses. Current score: 12-8. Random action chosen: 1d3 2 Slaan's Have the librarian solve her own murder action chosen. You finish editing the lists and head over to Caltime, scooping up some books along the way. You pop them down in front of her: A Study In Scarlet, Death On The Nile, The Big Sleep. "So, hey," you say, not all that convincingly. "Have you given any more thought to, you know, what's been going on here?" "Hmm," Caltime says, looking over the offered volumes. "Conan Doyle, Christie, Chandler... wow, real subtle, Jingleterry. You want me to solve my own murder?" "What?? Noo, of course not!" you lie. "Just some stone-cold classics for you to read, is all! But, hey! Since you bring the matter up..." you pause and then add "dot, dot, dot..." for emphasis. Caltime rolls her eyes at you, then shakes her head. "No. Like I said, my last memory is reading a book." "Hmm," you say. "I did manage to get a little bit of memory out of the Big Man before. Here." You take Caltime's plastic hand and think of the scene you saw in the library with your psychic senses, sharing the knowledge with her. Once you've finished, you let go of her hand and she sits there in silence, contemplating what she's just learned. "An accident, then," she says after a little while. "A carelessly stacked book, and a slammed door. Nobody meant me ill will after all..." Her reverie is interuptted by the Big Man re-entering the office, now almost fully dressed in his traditional red and white fur costume, only missing the hat. He sits down at his computer and starts checking the list. "Thank you, Jingleterry. Is there anything else that needs taking care of?" Forty minutes remain. The soup is in progress. The roof door remains unlocked. Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Dec 23, 2021 |
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Dec 21, 2021 02:48
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A mammal bigger than a mouse and smaller than a bear with no bird present. Check the trap in the roof door corridor whilst prepping the lists.
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Dec 21, 2021 03:21
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A bird. Have Caltime possess Santa while you steal his hat and bury it in a snowbank where he'll never find it.
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Dec 21, 2021 18:42
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Ruminant Ask the big man for a week off early next year. The stress seems to be getting to us.
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Dec 21, 2021 18:51
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As crazy as it sounds I'm beginning to think some of you don't want to turn Santa into an LSD hosed MK-Ultra drone and use the sleigh's time-space dilator to send him back in time to kill Hitler. A snowflake Sabotage the sleigh's time-space dilator to send it to Munich 11:50 pm, December 24th, 1921 Outrail fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Dec 21, 2021 |
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Dec 21, 2021 20:04
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A squirrel. Suddenly come to the conclusion that it was Rudelf all along, that he planted the tottering book and "helped" it to drop onto Caltime because he had an overdue book and she had been getting persnickety about it. Edit: missed that a bird had already been called.
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Dec 21, 2021 22:53
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 09:10 |
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Badger Slowly realize what's actually been going on, this whole time. No, it can't be. Can it? Continue your tasks, but now you know.
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Dec 21, 2021 23:25
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