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Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames
He has been paying for it for over half a score. I always told him it was dumb as gently caress because the credit card companies give you your money back if fraud occurs. Also, with so many hacks I am sure my whole identity is out there. Then, he told me he is extra safe today because he has a VPN through them, I was impressed when he answered what does VPN stand for correctly! But, I am sure it is overpriced, $5.99 for a VPN is standard or there about. Since I may be stupid, a VPN in no way makes your banking any safer, right? Thanks Goons!

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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
Dad dumb so what

Haschel Cedricson
Jan 4, 2006

Brinkmanship

Isn't that the company where the CEO put his own Social Security Number into their ads to show how secure their identity theft protection was and then proceeded to have his identity stolen a hilarious number of times?

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


Pay for it and then steal his identity.

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames

Haschel Cedricson posted:

Isn't that the company where the CEO put his own Social Security Number into their ads to show how secure their identity theft protection was and then proceeded to have his identity stolen a hilarious number of times?

Yep. Money don't teach sense, like 3 years ago he showed my all his garbage coins he bought from Goldline. He bought 49k of gold in some online thing during the pandemic when I stayed there, it got pretty high to like 65, told him to sell now I am almost sure it is worth less than what he paid.

Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
you should tell your dad that pornography can now easily be found online and for free

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames
What about the viruses and his top secret bank account logins, well he writes them all down in a notebook so he is good there!

Baxter
Sep 13, 2000
You can’t.

He’s paying for peace of mind if he’s like my dad.

False peace in this case, but whatever.

interwhat
Jul 23, 2005

it's kickin in dude
I read that as life alert.

Also, you're dad's gonna squander your inheritance whether you like it or not

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Haschel Cedricson posted:

Isn't that the company where the CEO put his own Social Security Number into their ads to show how secure their identity theft protection was and then proceeded to have his identity stolen a hilarious number of times?

yes


Putty posted:

you should tell your dad that pornography can now easily be found online and for free

shut up putty

les enfants Terrific!
Dec 12, 2008
Hey, if his identity only gets stolen 10 times he's still doing better than the founder of LifeLock, so that's a silver lining.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Lipton: it is like drinking water unsweetened.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003


You need to figure out how to sell this poo poo to your dad. Make a few bucks.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

CarShield cars go farther.

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Get him hooked on drugs, op, then he will see that lifelock is a stupid thing to spend money on.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Weka posted:

Get him hooked on drugs, op, then he will see that lifelock is a stupid thing to spend money on.

Pretty sure op wants his dad's money after he dies

its all nice on rice
Nov 12, 2006

Sweet, Salty Goodness.



Buglord
I regularly get calls from LifeLock informing me that my identity has been compromised. The problem is that I've never signed up for LifeLock, and my name isn't Jennifer or Joseph. Jennifer had my phone number before me (about 10 years ago) so I kind of understand that fuckup. No idea who this Joseph guy is, though.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

Chief McHeath posted:

CarShield cars go farther.

Ice T says so right on the TV!

Greg of Doom
Dec 22, 2021

by sebmojo
Is he giving you the money instead if he isn't wasting it?

I will assume no, so stop caring.

Dandywalken
Feb 11, 2014

half a score, huh

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Let your dad sign up for LifeLock then steal your dad's identity OP. He'll see it's a scam then!

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Let your dad sign up for LifeLock then steal your dad's identity OP. He'll see it's a scam then!

Don't you steal my idea.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Linux Pirate posted:

Pay for it and then steal his identity.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

get your dad considered legally unfit and get power of attorney. the elderly are notoriously easy to trick and prone to confusion

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

hire wwe superstar virgil to do a kameo of him pretending to be your dad. when famously litigious virgil countersues the gently caress out of pops boy wont he look foolish

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Tell him you saw a FB post by a Winsconsin mom who had LifeLock but it didn't help her when black teens broke into her house and stole her purse.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

steal his purse

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

Pretty sure op wants his dad's money after he dies

Maybe op could sell dad the drugs?

Or here's another idea. Have you tried sucking his dick? I find it very persuasive.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Linux Pirate posted:

Don't you steal my idea.

Guess you should have gotten life lock.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Guess you should have gotten life lock.

:argh:

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

Staunch and proud ally of Big Pharma! We stand with you!
your boomer dad is set in his ways

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Yeah but you can use their boomer brain against them to make them do whatever you want. Studies? Science? Statistics? These things mean nothing to the boomer but an unsourced anecdote about about a Facebook post the OP saw? OPs dad will have no defences against that. Throw in some casual racism and stoke his fears about crime and he'll cancel that poo poo so fast.

Greg of Doom
Dec 22, 2021

by sebmojo
Make a meme saying Strong Men are giving their WEAK LIBERAL CHILDREN THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS just to see them FAIL using it well

then post it on his Facebook

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

its all nice on rice posted:

I regularly get calls from LifeLock informing me that my identity has been compromised. The problem is that I've never signed up for LifeLock, and my name isn't Jennifer or Joseph. Jennifer had my phone number before me (about 10 years ago) so I kind of understand that fuckup. No idea who this Joseph guy is, though.

It'd be ironic if OP's dad fell for a scammer call purporting to be from Lifelock, gave them all his personal details and passwords for "verification", and they installed malware on his computer and drained his bank accounts.

OP, you know what to do.

Michael Corleone
Mar 30, 2011

by VideoGames
It is from listening to conservative radio all day. He asked me how to buy bitcoins before. I should tell him I bought them and keep the money when the prices crashes, this time for real, no me and all my good friends don't hate BC because we missed out buying it for fractions of a cent!!

Greg of Doom
Dec 22, 2021

by sebmojo
Play this and about a minute in slide your hand over to hold his

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH2w6Oxx0kQ

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

les enfants Terrific! posted:

Hey, if his identity only gets stolen 10 times he's still doing better than the founder of LifeLock, so that's a silver lining.

Lmao I was just reading his response to having his identity stolen 13 times was "lifelock prevented it from happening a lot more times than that!" :smuggo:

Betty Wight
Jan 1, 2022

I pay for IdentityForce for me and my wife. It’s like, $400/yr. I’ve had it for, I dunno, 7 years?

kalel
Jun 19, 2012

Betty Wight posted:

I pay for IdentityForce for me and my wife. It’s like, $400/yr. I’ve had it for, I dunno, 7 years?

fantastic username and reg date. Utterly perfect

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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Ain't nobody can steal your identity if you pay for everything with a sack of pennies. You'll be that jerk with the sack of pennies.

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