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Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

Move your hips closer to your lips.

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a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016

Go on an all raw meat diet

Chill Monster
Apr 23, 2014
the real trick is to lay on your back, roll your head and walk your feet down a walk, OP

Chill Monster
Apr 23, 2014
i mean: the real trick is to lay on your back, roll your body over your head and walk your feet down a wall, OP

HashtagGirlboss
Jan 4, 2005

Sucking your own dick is boomer poo poo

Looking for advice on how to stick mine in my own butthole

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016

Listen to the gateway tapes while consuming your prime meats that you've aged to perfection in the root cellar

DoubleDonut
Oct 22, 2010


Fallen Rib
Have you tried voting?

Good soup!
Nov 2, 2010

Thx

FormaldehydeSon
Oct 1, 2011

Put it in your mouth

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
How to eat you're owne rear end: volume 1

Honky Mao
Dec 26, 2012

I've been tapped twice to write preambles for instructional books about autofellatio

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
I'd recommend first doing a binary fission op.

HashtagGirlboss posted:

Sucking your own dick is boomer poo poo

Looking for advice on how to stick mine in my own butthole

Some people suggest putting your balls to the side but I suggest laying your dick between them.

bedpan
Apr 23, 2008

Michael Transactions posted:

Move your hips closer to your lips.

I don't have any strategies for the autofellatio aspirant, other than to listen to Lowtax's monologue on the subject, but I do have to complement your choice on a forum for this topic

fanfic insert
Nov 4, 2009
u really should try it out on someone elses dick first, lest you ruin the experience by sucking

Morbus
May 18, 2004

use a straw, ya dingus

SpaceGoku
Jul 19, 2011

build a machine that will stretch your dick out over the course of several years so you don't have to reach as far

Ansar Santa
Jul 12, 2012

think with portals

Pentecoastal Elites
Feb 27, 2007

that's how Marilyn Manson died

TheLemonOfIchabod
Aug 26, 2008
move your LIPS closer to your HIPS

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

SorePotato posted:

I've been tapped twice to write preambles for instructional books about autofellatio

yeah i wouldn't mind tapping you and you're rude tits

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

TheLemonOfIchabod posted:

move your LIPS closer to your HIPS

Huh?

Top Gun Reference
Oct 9, 2012
Pillbug
post in d&d

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
So you get a hose the same width as your dick and you just suck that bad boy all the way through that hose until it comes out the end.

Janitor Ludwich IV
Jan 25, 2019

by vyelkin
over a number of years using a modified torture rack

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Weka posted:

So you get a hose the same width as your dick and you just suck that bad boy all the way through that hose until it comes out the end.

The Enigma of Amigara Hose

JAY ZERO SUM GAME
Oct 18, 2005

Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.


join DSA

Harry Potter on Ice
Nov 4, 2006


IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED
Oh poo poo that hole pisser guy is bored making cspam threads again lol this is going to be a really good thread

Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.
as someone who has sucked his own dick, i must say that it is really not worth the effort

but also lol

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
You can't say that without providing tips, in this, the sucking your own dick tips thread.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
just the tips?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
That's what they all say, and then you end up in an ambulance with a broken back and laughing paramedics

Plank Walker
Aug 11, 2005
90% of the posts here are tactics not strategies, gas

Grevling
Dec 18, 2016

he will be successful who has already sucked his own dick before setting out to suck

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
The spine contains weakness, do not be afraid to snap it on the path towards enlightenment.

Buck Wildman
Mar 30, 2010

I am Metango, Galactic Governor


it's a myth op, we're not that flexible. you're just gonna have to be satisfied with giving yourself a rim job like the rest of us

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
Buy a Tesla

Cabbages and Kings
Aug 25, 2004


Shall we be trotting home again?
the number of times I've dreamed I could do this perfectly and then woke up disappointed has to be, like, at least 5 over the last 25 years.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


suck another dick but condition your brain to feel what you're doing on your own dick via empathy it's really simple and there's negligible risk of dick sucking related injury

Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009

Bernie the Snow Clown
if you do decide to suck your own dick, be careful not to shoot in your eye because you will lose it like dan crenshaw

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Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.

Weka posted:

You can't say that without providing tips, in this, the sucking your own dick tips thread.

i guess i got a big dick, OP

my nickname in high school was "horse boy" and it wasn't because i was majestic or graceful in any way

i only was able to get the tip in, it's not like i was able to deepthroat my own dick

*cough cough* *wheeze* i have brought you this far, but can not continue with you on your journey

*growing frail* you must seek...the...other masters... :corsair:

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