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Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007

Maybe take down the fascist flag before selling your house. No? Okay.


Another house.


Yes I know about mcmansionhell.com.
Yes it doesn't have to be Zillow.

Go go go go I'm not sure my jet shower curtains can be beaten.

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Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
Jet shower is kinda cool

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

My dad is a retired homicide detective and he doesn’t fly any flags or bumper stickers. That’s my story, now you know a little more about buce.

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



Nooner posted:

Jet shower is kinda cool

I'm the window in the shower so everyone outside can watch your fat ugly naked self bathe

teen phone cutie
Jun 18, 2012

last year i rewrote something awful from scratch because i hate myself
this isn't a house but i'm apartment hunting and wanted to post this poo poo rear end landlord's application policy for a rental

text is from today

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

teen phone cutie posted:

this isn't a house but i'm apartment hunting and wanted to post this poo poo rear end landlord's application policy for a rental

text is from today



Fascinating thank you Zillow

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

There's a property a few blocks from where I live that has an underground pool behind a fence and it looks like it's been abandoned for years and Zillow shows it as not having an address or existing at all. Very curious as to why that might be.

Edmund Sparkler fucked around with this message at 08:53 on May 14, 2022

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
There is a twitter account you might be interested in op

https://twitter.com/zillowgonewild/status/1520943637298925568?t=9Hcx7itxceopyF0jCpEtdQ&s=19
https://twitter.com/zillowgonewild/status/1520577732110921729?t=TsAmjXDZ00lF1E5DfNsplQ&s=19

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

The house next to mine sat empty for years until the owner of the house essentially gave to a friend of the family who had grown up in the house. The sale price was either 50.00 or 500.00, I don't remember. The new neighbor was unemployed and they are hoarders and also very bad at house repair. The house had some issues that were made worse over time. It currently has no working water. There's apparently a large hole in the kitchen floor. There's a large tarp attempting to cover a missing chunk in the roof. The house itself is tiny and the equally tiny yard is has a crude fence in the front section. They are not living there currently but come once a day to feed and let a number of dogs out of the house and into the fenced off area. He's attempted to get help fixing the place but every attempt has lead to the people he asked for help stealing stuff from them.

Zillow has decided that this house is worth 74,500 dollars.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Where do you find such cheap houses, in Toronto that roofless dog shack could easily be a cool million

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Browsed zillow in the tub. Farted. Was browsing zillo very intently. Noticed small bit of poop (very tiny) at far end of tub. Worghless piece of poo poo OP

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Where do you find such cheap houses, in Toronto that roofless dog shack could easily be a cool million

Small town SW MIssouri. Relative to the rest of the country prices (and wages) are slightly lower. Thirteen years ago I bought my house for 40,000. It's in much nicer shape, has a garage and a fireplace and some really nice woodwork including some really cool built in bookshelves. It might be worth 50-60 K now maybe.

Darth Brooks fucked around with this message at 13:06 on May 14, 2022

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

Darth Brooks posted:

The house next to mine sat empty for years until the owner of the house essentially gave to a friend of the family who had grown up in the house. The sale price was either 50.00 or 500.00, I don't remember. The new neighbor was unemployed and they are hoarders and also very bad at house repair. The house had some issues that were made worse over time. It currently has no working water. There's apparently a large hole in the kitchen floor. There's a large tarp attempting to cover a missing chunk in the roof. The house itself is tiny and the equally tiny yard is has a crude fence in the front section. They are not living there currently but come once a day to feed and let a number of dogs out of the house and into the fenced off area. He's attempted to get help fixing the place but every attempt has lead to the people he asked for help stealing stuff from them.

Zillow has decided that this house is worth 74,500 dollars.

You reminded me that when we were house hunting in 2008, one of the houses we looked at was about to be cut in half by a fuckass huge tree that was ready to fall any day, the whole backyard was a hill that was crumbling and subsiding into the house ready to bury it, and the bathroom literally had no floor. They wanted, like, 60k for a minimum deposit.

After the house bubble popped we got our current house for that price.

8 Ball
Nov 27, 2010

My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.
Is it just me or does that toilet look like some guy bending over to catch/eat your poop?

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug

8 Ball posted:

Is it just me or does that toilet look like some guy bending over to catch/eat your poop?

I think it's just you. But I will not allow you to eat my poop.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

8 Ball posted:

Is it just me or does that toilet look like some guy bending over to catch/eat your poop?

...What?

No. No it doesn't look like that at all. The gently caress are you looking at?

Fallows
Jan 20, 2005

If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

8 Ball posted:

Is it just me or does that toilet look like some guy bending over to catch/eat your poop?

Hes hunched over lifting the toiolette bowl

Fallows
Jan 20, 2005

If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.
with terrible form, going to hurt his back i might add

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Every morning when I have trouble taking a poo poo I look at the curtains of planes flying into me and pretend to be one of them world trade buildings and the poo just falls out :patriot:

BAD ASS minion memes!
Apr 12, 2014

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/7092917108648037675

Jimlit
Jun 30, 2005



I only log in these days to see my "zestimate" go up

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


here's my house

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1420-Davies-Dr-Beverly-Hills-CA-90210/20523735_zpid/

it's a little cozy but it suits me ok

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
if i bought that cophouse I'd fly the biggest fuckin rainbow flag from that thing day 1

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

The Walrus posted:

if i bought that cophouse I'd fly the biggest fuckin rainbow flag from that thing day 1

And not paint it on the garage door?

Coward.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
that's called the pigliker flag

it symbolizes liking pigs with it's thin blue line which is a reference to the thin blue lines i got on my shaft and sack

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug

8 bedrooms, 14 bathrooms. Great for a family of incontinents

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


gleebster posted:

8 bedrooms, 14 bathrooms. Great for a family of incontinents

ngl i'll probably be lucky to own a home in my life

but I have figured out that homeowners freakin love bathrooms.

the more the better, stick them everywhere.

Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


:shrug: yeah why not. they do break down and they are a pain in the loving rear end to fix. the more bathrooms you have, the longer you can live in that house before you gotta move out to a place with New, Functional Bathrooms

HD DAD
Jan 13, 2010

Generic white guy.

Toilet Rascal
Just thinking about that episode of Rocko’s Modern Life with the Bob Vila guy who wanted to turn every room into a bathroom. He was onto something.

GodDamnArtist
Oct 11, 2002

Creating disasters and running away from them since 1981.
Annoying they don't list every foyer, loft, office, grand ball room, private oval office recreation and instead just have some dumb ratio of bedrooms to bathrooms.

Juando290
Apr 22, 2007

You stopped toe curlin in the hot tub cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you have seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.

I unironically want this house.

GodDamnArtist
Oct 11, 2002

Creating disasters and running away from them since 1981.
Just reminded myself of this dumb thing


I think the listing is gone, but NYpost still has the images: https://nypost.com/2019/10/11/this-house-listing-might-have-the-greatest-home-office-of-all-time/

GodDamnArtist
Oct 11, 2002

Creating disasters and running away from them since 1981.

Juando290 posted:

I unironically want this house.

Who doesn't want a dungeon in their house? Great home for any vampire family!

Jelly
Feb 11, 2004

Ask me about my STD collection!

teen phone cutie posted:

this isn't a house but i'm apartment hunting and wanted to post this poo poo rear end landlord's application policy for a rental

text is from today



I spent about eight months looking for a house rental (broad Seattle area) before finally settling on an apartment.

The sheer amount of scams is baffling (well over half). Like do people really rent properties without seeing the inside? Anyone can tell you to drive by a location.

I'm guessing metric fucktons of people fall for these scams or there wouldn't be so many of them.

Like drat, Americans are dumb as poo poo.

kaom
Jan 20, 2007


https://twitter.com/NicoleOKing/status/1526771257676537856?t=DlegVomWuREWe8778oxqXw&s=09

I kind of love it? Better than being cookie cutter. I wonder low noisy the sliding panels are, though.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris


I'm the half million dollar monthly mortgage payment.

lonelylikezoidberg
Dec 19, 2007

Jelly posted:

I spent about eight months looking for a house rental (broad Seattle area) before finally settling on an apartment.

The sheer amount of scams is baffling (well over half). Like do people really rent properties without seeing the inside? Anyone can tell you to drive by a location.

I'm guessing metric fucktons of people fall for these scams or there wouldn't be so many of them.

Like drat, Americans are dumb as poo poo.

If you live in the Seattle area you must be aware of how much the housing and especially rental market is hosed and the majority of people are precarious and desperate and how landlords are by nature scummy weirdos. Scams are obvious until you're desperately trying not to be homeless.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Jelly posted:

I spent about eight months looking for a house rental (broad Seattle area) before finally settling on an apartment.

The sheer amount of scams is baffling (well over half). Like do people really rent properties without seeing the inside? Anyone can tell you to drive by a location.

I'm guessing metric fucktons of people fall for these scams or there wouldn't be so many of them.

Like drat, Americans are dumb as poo poo.
I could be reading it wrong but I think it's talking about a preliminary application, like they want to screen potential renters before even bothering to show the place but hypothetically there's still going to be a point where you come and look before signing any lease. So if there were a scam it'd just be plain old ID theft, but honestly with how some markets are that could be entirely legit albeit stupid/annoying.

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

teen phone cutie posted:

this isn't a house but i'm apartment hunting and wanted to post this poo poo rear end landlord's application policy for a rental

text is from today



:guillotine:

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frh
Dec 6, 2014

Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/213-N-Mason-St-Deer-Creek-IL-61733/5323272_zpid/

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