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Help. i've been wearing the same set of clothes for several months now. I'm about to lose my job because my co-workers keep complaining about the smell. I can't afford to keep buying new clothes and last time I went in I spent 50 loving years serving the will of a jesus lion before coming back having never aged a day. Before you ask no I can't use the dresser. It's a portal to an unrelated thinly-veiled hindu allegory.
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May 16, 2022 02:50
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 06:47 |
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what?
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May 16, 2022 02:55
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I'm pretty sure this LN is getting an anime adaptation next season.
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May 16, 2022 02:56
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So if you go to whatever your equivalent of Big W is they sell these cheap and easy to assemble racks you can hang your clothes on. I got one after a recent move and it was fine. Honestly I'd have just kept using it if not for the social pressure to use wardrobes. It was like $20-30.
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May 16, 2022 02:56
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Have you tried just leaving your clothes in a laundry basket after washing them? Pretty sure those are immune to turning into weird portals since they can't close up.
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May 16, 2022 03:01
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STABASS posted:what? I go to get my damned coat and suddenly it’s always winter and never Christmas and I got to deal with some fukcing nerd who can’t shut up about Turkish delights and I just want a clean coat.
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May 16, 2022 03:04
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Ignatius M. Meen posted:Have you tried just leaving your clothes in a laundry basket after washing them? Pretty sure those are immune to turning into weird portals since they can't close up. I’m hearing what you’re saying and I can already tell it’s going to be a portal to a Zen koan.
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May 16, 2022 03:06
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Just give Aslan some catnip and I promise you it will all get better
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May 16, 2022 03:10
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:I’m hearing what you’re saying and I can already tell it’s going to be a portal to a Zen koan. I mean okay but you can't leave them literally anywhere after washing and drying them without that item becoming a portal? On a chair? On your bed? On the sofa??? If so, and you've already tried replacing your clothes, it's probably some kind of ironic curse on you specifically. Probably oughta go see a druid to get that looked at.
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May 16, 2022 03:10
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he is risen, so what
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May 16, 2022 03:12
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Purchase exactly enough new clothes to be able to go get an outfit back from the dry cleaner every morning and wear it. This makes it the dry cleaner's problem whether or not the motorized rack is a portal to this or that alternate universe/timeline.
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May 16, 2022 03:21
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IDK, OP, I’d be carrying a shotgun into said allegory and just mugging people for their clothes. Wait for a satyr to walk by and take his shirt, he can’t compete with modern weaponry. You could have a new free set of clothes each week!
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May 16, 2022 03:26
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OP, since hundreds of years pass in Narnia between your visits, you should introduce them to firearms, the steam engine, electricity, and then, on a future visit, the internet. Eventually, it'll lose the dogmatic (lionmatic) religious undertones and just look like Shadowrun.
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May 16, 2022 03:27
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funeral home DJ posted:IDK, OP, I’d be carrying a shotgun into said allegory and just mugging people for their clothes. Wait for a satyr to walk by and take his shirt, he can’t compete with modern weaponry. You could have a new free set of clothes each week! All the satyrs are shirtless and it’s very uncomfortable for everyone
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May 16, 2022 03:32
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You know what op. Given how quickly and easily I solved my problem of not having a wardrobe, I can't help but think that you want this level of drama in your life - that you thrive on the attention you get from wearing smart new clothes all the time and having magical creatures rely on you to fulfil Biblical prophecy. Now you're here looking for another hit on the crackpipe of attention that you've become addicted to.
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May 16, 2022 03:38
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:All the satyrs are shirtless and it’s very uncomfortable for everyone Ask them where to find Bacchus and his Maenads, but if you're ready to get a little less Catholic School and a little more Catholic School: After Hours.
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May 16, 2022 03:41
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OP I spoke to my alcoholic uncle Ted and he said he had this issue once. The solution is to rent a u-haul truck, lay the wardrobe down and just roll around the highways chucking all the roadkill you find into the wardrobe. He said the gnarlier the better. The denizens on the other side of the wardrobe built a permanent rock wall up in less than two days and he added shelves and hangers on the wall, making for a walk-in closet. Good luck and god bless
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May 16, 2022 03:53
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why not take anotgher tour with the lion? theyll probably give you more clothes. lions have a good sense of smell
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May 16, 2022 03:54
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I can't help you. Only my third drawer remains a normal drawer but whenever I put on the one remaining pair of clean briefs and slacks from in there, I wake up again a day earlier as if the day never happened.
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May 16, 2022 03:55
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How am I supposed to trust a dog that is clearly not fluffy (as their name implies)????
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May 16, 2022 03:57
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Sure that's why you smell like cat piss and look sleep deprived.
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May 16, 2022 04:00
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Find the creator of the realm and tell him that Tolkien was a better author and he'll have a pathetic nerdrage meltdown and you'll never be allowed back, boom problem solved no need to thank me
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May 16, 2022 04:04
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You can get pants and a shirt at a thrift store for like 8 bucks op. You could literally have new clothes every day. 
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May 16, 2022 04:04
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beer gas canister posted:he is risen, so what Lol wrong way moran. 
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May 16, 2022 04:06
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I'd say just throw them on the floor, but you know...lava.
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May 16, 2022 04:06
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As I understand it, he stops taking you if you think about boys like some common whore. So maybe grow up a little and get horny.
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May 16, 2022 04:08
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I only own one item of clothing but it's a 71 piece suit.
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May 16, 2022 04:10
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Maybe if you took a fat dump in the wardrobe it would stop doing that
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May 16, 2022 04:12
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AKZ posted:Sure that's why you smell like cat piss and look sleep deprived. The cat piss is from a semi-related incident with Aslan he told me to keep secret BIG FLUFFY DOG fucked around with this message at 21:31 on May 16, 2022 |
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May 16, 2022 20:16
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:All the satyrs are shirtless and it’s very uncomfortable for everyone Mr Dumnuts
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May 16, 2022 20:20
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What did the exorcist say? Is there a reason you can't just get rid it?
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May 16, 2022 20:40
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God's love
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May 16, 2022 20:55
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If Aslan is Jesus I don't know why he needs the help of children so stupid they fall into dressers to fix his problems. Like he doesn't have ANY better resources than that? "Let's see here, 'Fought in the scism between heaven and hell?' no. 'Experience dealing with possessions or other demonic ways on Earth?' no. Catholic, even? No. ...ok let's see what we DO have. 'Mostly sleeps through night without wetting bed. Tripped on rug to get here.' Excellent. You will lead God's armies."
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May 16, 2022 21:20
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We have a cold cellar in the basement that leads into a wizard's tower but he's a total dick and never does any magic for us 
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May 16, 2022 21:26
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"RRRAAAARRR!!!" they were astonished at his doctrine
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May 16, 2022 21:29
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GABA ghoul posted:What did the exorcist say? Is there a reason you can't just get rid it? The exorcist is a big fan of the wardrobe and can’t shut up about it. Frankly I think he made it more powerful.
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May 16, 2022 21:29
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AARD VARKMAN posted:Purchase exactly enough new clothes to be able to go get an outfit back from the dry cleaner every morning and wear it. This makes it the dry cleaner's problem whether or not the motorized rack is a portal to this or that alternate universe/timeline. I wouldn't do this. My local dry cleaning place turned out to be a portal to a wierd misogynistic barbarian planet where ritualized slavery is the norm.
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May 16, 2022 21:33
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David D. Davidson posted:I wouldn't do this. My local dry cleaning place turned out to be a portal to a wierd misogynistic barbarian planet where ritualized slavery is the norm. Then all you have to do is drag your closet there and watch the resulting planar explosion/ gimp lion maulings from afar
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May 16, 2022 21:49
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What is Biden doing about all these magical portals that keep popping up?
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May 16, 2022 21:49
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 06:47 |
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He did say "open Biden" but we should have read between the lines and realized that he meant using Fel magic to tear the veil separating our realities
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May 16, 2022 21:50
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