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wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
The guy is wheeling me in to the room and they're going to shove a pipe in me and yank out a chunk of my right kidney.
It's going to be a fuckin wild ride.

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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
stay safe biopsy goon

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
make sure you ask for it back otherwise the doctor will eat it and gain your powers

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
you've gotta be kidneying me

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Thanks I'm in the room now and they're doing poo poo. Guy asked me what kind of music I wanted to listen to. Bob Dylan is playing right now and that's fine with me. I like that poo poo. Was tempted to ask for some Wesley Willis but maybe I shouldn't be laughing while they do this

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Got me a blood pressure thingy on me and a heart rate other thing on my finger

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

Seth Pecksniff posted:

stay safe biopsy goon

Xun
Apr 25, 2010

What do the doctors think of your posting

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Xun posted:

What do the doctors think of your posting
I don't know. I don't think they are goons so they've probably never seen any. Just getting poked with a needle for some local anesthetic.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Don't forget to tell them that if they break it, they buy it.

Xun
Apr 25, 2010

Well in any case,

Seth Pecksniff posted:

stay safe biopsy goon

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Ultrasound going on now so they can figure out how to miss some other organs that are near this fuckin bullshit kidney .

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Blood pressure thingy inflating.

Doctor said I should probably put the phone down in a minute or two. I'm on my side and poo poo about to get real as gently caress.

See y'all motherfucks on the other side!

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
wow i've heard about inflation fetishes but this is a whole new level! :dadjoke:

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Ask if you can keep it

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


You have got to be kidneying me OP.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Dr had to stop and leave the room. Possibly to take a poo poo, or maybe they said something about he needs to look at my ultrasound or MRI results to see where to poke the fuckin pipe or needle or whatever the gently caress. I guess this tumor that they're trying to get at is in a bad spot.

Another Dr said a while back that both of my kidneys have " uncountable numbers". Of tumors andon them bitches. Had a biopsy last year on the other side and was not cancerous. poo poo Dr back gotta go

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008


Boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I poo poo
During surgery time

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




just have those kidneys removed. i had mine out years ago and never felt better.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Ambassadorofsodomy posted:

Another Dr said a while back that both of my kidneys have " uncountable numbers". Of tumors andon them bitches. Had a biopsy last year on the other side and was not cancerous. poo poo Dr back gotta go

:stare:

it's not good when the doctor says "uncountable number of tumors"

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




it might be ok, it could be the doctor that graduated last in their class

how high can they count?

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Bad Purchase posted:

it might be ok, it could be the doctor that graduated last in their class

how high can they count?

Kidney doctors only have to count to 2.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




the medical term "tumor" is actually a portmanteau of "two" and "more", referring to any growths in the body numbering more than the doctor could count (up to two)

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.
Shoot, I misread this as you getting a blospy and was keen to find out what a blopsy was. It sounds like a fat bunny.
Good luck to you though, OP. Reconsider your lack of Blopsy.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Seth Pecksniff posted:

:stare:

it's not good when the doctor says "uncountable number of tumors"
Yeah. Thus far they say it's not cancer but something called "oncocytoma" which is uhhhhhhh one of those medical conditions where things do stuff and some other stuff goes on and whatnot.

I'm out now. They had me tilt forward and then back and then forward again. It was weird it didn't hurt but feeling the tube or whatever the gently caress it was inside and moving around felt hosed up.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004

love to tilt

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Ambassadorofsodomy posted:

Yeah. Thus far they say it's not cancer but something called "oncocytoma" which is uhhhhhhh one of those medical conditions where things do stuff and some other stuff goes on and whatnot.

I'm out now. They had me tilt forward and then back and then forward again. It was weird it didn't hurt but feeling the tube or whatever the gently caress it was inside and moving around felt hosed up.

ooof. at least they're saying it's not cancer! that's something

You Are A Werewolf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!

Thank goodness it’s not cancer, my dude.

But that tumor thing is scary :ohdear:

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Is this blood pressure good?

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Das Boo posted:

Shoot, I misread this as you getting a blospy and was keen to find out what a blopsy was. It sounds like a fat bunny.
Good luck to you though, OP. Reconsider your lack of Blopsy.

I misread it as getting a blumpkin and I was all like nice job OP

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Ambassadorofsodomy posted:

Is this blood pressure good?


gently caress. Edit not quote

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Just kidding OP I hope you’re doing well and able to post in the Friday thread, but maybe cut back on the piss-skulling for a bit and give those kidneys a rest.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Ambassadorofsodomy posted:

gently caress. Edit not quote

Nah that’s normal, maybe slightly high but still well below hypertension levels.

Marcade
Jun 11, 2006


Who are you to glizzy gobble El Vago's marshmussy?

Bad Purchase posted:

the medical term "tumor" is actually a portmanteau of "two" and "more", referring to any growths in the body numbering more than the doctor could count (up to two)

Yeah, my mother had seven growths removed. She said she understood that tumor benign.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Marcade posted:

Yeah, my mother had seven growths removed. She said she understood that tumor benign.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddsZTFSfXaw

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

GolfHole posted:

love to tilt

Yeah that was weird but whatever. Didn't happen last time but it was on the other side.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Just kidding OP I hope you’re doing well and able to post in the Friday thread, but maybe cut back on the piss-skulling for a bit and give those kidneys a rest.
Yeah, I probably will. Whenever I skull too much piss my kidneys hurt the next day. Among other things

Marcade
Jun 11, 2006


Who are you to glizzy gobble El Vago's marshmussy?


:tipshat:

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


I think they cram a third kidney in there if you need a transplant

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
Tell House to help your rear end out already

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wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Wait, so they just stick a new one in there if I need a transplant? Doesn't sound like a good way to lose weight.

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