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buglord
Jul 31, 2010

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Buglord
hi goons,

how do you choose a football team to live and die with? I dont want to reveal my geographic location, as I think choosing a team based on your immediate location seems kinda lame, unless thats how everyone does it and im just being a little weirdo about it. but that leaves me with the chargers which have kinda sucky colors!



teams I will not be considering:

- Dallas Cowboys, because a lot of obnoxious people i know like them.
- extreme losers, as being a socdem in the US is a constant kick in the dick as it is, and i dont want to be losing on multiple fronts of my life.

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DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


buglord posted:

as I think choosing a team based on your immediate location seems kinda lame, unless thats how everyone does it and im just being a little weirdo about it. but that leaves me with the chargers which have kinda sucky colors!

Its good to do this so you can actually go in person to the games which is a lot more fun than watching on tv

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic

the packers are the most soc-dem compliant team, being owned by a publicly held nonprofit instead of a billionaire bastard. they're also pretty good right now! (this will end in a few year when their vaxx-sceptic weirdo qb ages into dust)

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
The Rams

LA is best city in the world

Blue and yellow look fresh as hell

Superbowl champions

Kicker is gay

Canine Blues Arooo
Jan 7, 2008

when you think about it...i'm the first girl you ever spent the night with

Grimey Drawer
+1 To the Packers. Aaron Rodgers is a derp, but the team's ownership is pretty cool and they are fun to watch and tend to win poo poo.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003
:smug: Good morning, you're all just pretending to need this "medicine" because you're drug addicts.

:angel: Good evening, directed pharmaceutical use of amphetamines obviously enriches the lives of many itt and I just woul
I became a Raiders fan over 20 years ago and you should not based on your criteria, especially not right now.

rain dogs
Apr 19, 2020

Watch some Lamar Jackson highlights and become a Ravens fan op

buglord
Jul 31, 2010

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Buglord

MrQwerty posted:

I became a Raiders fan over 20 years ago and you should not based on your criteria, especially not right now.

I made this thread after seeing my friend engage in self harm this season by being a raiders fan. Its not going well but im wishing him the best.

I can convert to raiders because the owner seems like a really cool hapsburg sports lich, and apparently they're somewhat progressive as a sports team

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

Wall Balls posted:

the packers are the most soc-dem compliant team, being owned by a publicly held nonprofit instead of a billionaire bastard. they're also pretty good right now! (this will end in a few year when their vaxx-sceptic weirdo qb ages into dust)

Canine Blues Arooo posted:

+1 To the Packers. Aaron Rodgers is a derp, but the team's ownership is pretty cool and they are fun to watch and tend to win poo poo.

Another +1 for the Packers here. Our colors may be garbage but they are consistently pretty good, even on years they don't play well. Its very rare they don't at least make it to the playoffs but seem to always lose the NFC championship game.

They are usually always at the top of the division too so you can rub into the faces of any Bears or Vikings fans you know. I guess Lions fans too but come on, are they even a team after the last few years?

The reckoning for the Packers is coming soon since Aaron Rodgers will probably retire in the next few years. I say good riddance. If dude kept his mouth shut and just got a COVID shot it wouldn't be so bad but now I just want that rear end in a top hat to go away. Then again he brought back the mullet so even if he kept his mouth shut he has still committed some serious crimes against humanity.

I say all that as someone who owns Packer stock.

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

shmups are da best come play some shmups they're cheap and good and you like them
Plaster Town Cop
Detroit Lions

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003
:smug: Good morning, you're all just pretending to need this "medicine" because you're drug addicts.

:angel: Good evening, directed pharmaceutical use of amphetamines obviously enriches the lives of many itt and I just woul

buglord posted:

I made this thread after seeing my friend engage in self harm this season by being a raiders fan. Its not going well but im wishing him the best.

I can convert to raiders because the owner seems like a really cool hapsburg sports lich, and apparently they're somewhat progressive as a sports team

Mark Davis is an ultimate doofus failson and Al Davis was key to a lot of integration stuff in the league so the Raiders definitely have that stuff going for them.
They just can't ever make anything work.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


Browns because that's the color of poop.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




the portland vapers

BigHead
Jul 25, 2003
Huh?


Nap Ghost

buglord posted:

- extreme losers, as being a socdem in the US is a constant kick in the dick as it is, and i dont want to be losing on multiple fronts of my life.

Are you sure? You're perfectly predisposed to being a Vikings fan, what with being used to constantly being kicked in the dick.

I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004

I grew up and live in Washington state, so Seattle Seahawks.

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

You could also choose to follow a specific player instead. Tom Brady is a good choice since even though he is a massive piece of poo poo dude is usually always winning.

You'll still end up choosing one team for most of their career but it allows you to change your team later in their career.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




have you considered getting into high school football instead of NFL?

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008


Wall Balls posted:

the packers are the most soc-dem compliant team, being owned by a publicly held nonprofit instead of a billionaire bastard. they're also pretty good right now! (this will end in a few year when their vaxx-sceptic weirdo qb ages into dust)

Either this or the Bill's because the Bill's mafia poo poo is loving funny AF.

i hate football so these are the reasons I'd pick a team if I have to.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

Saalkin posted:

Either this or the Bill's because the Bill's mafia poo poo is loving funny AF.

i hate football so these are the reasons I'd pick a team if I have to.

This is also very good answer.

If you're not going to like the Rams you should go put yourself through a loving table

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

Wall Balls posted:

the packers are the most soc-dem compliant team, being owned by a publicly held nonprofit instead of a billionaire bastard. they're also pretty good right now! (this will end in a few year when their vaxx-sceptic weirdo qb ages into dust)

This is the obvious choice buglord.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
NOW is the time to be a Patriots fan! No more Tom Brady you can dick-ride the Pats without feeling like you’re just jumping on the bandwagon.

Honestly just follow whatever team you’re geographically close too. If they win—fun! Even if they suck it’s fun to watch a bunch of big dumb losers fail to play a stupid game.

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



Chargers colors are rad and not sucky OP! :colbert:



Maybe try the Arizona Cardinals? They are the oldest NFL team and they always need more fans.

Or the Cleveland Browns. They just brought back THE ELF.

Or the Kansas City Chiefs, as Patrick Mahomes is cool.

We Got Us A Bread
Jul 23, 2007

Bills if you like flaming tables and the idea of throwing dildos on the field. Also, if you live in an impoverished country, the winners of 4 straight superbowls!
Browns if you're pro-serial sex crimes, and the idea of feeding a machine designed to produce endless failure appeals to you.

Ez8
Aug 5, 2004
Edmonton Oilers.

RIDE OR DIE, BITCH!!!

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

It's the Bengals for sure, come accept the welcoming embrace of disappointment.

Plus their uniforms are rad.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
Philadelphia Eagles if you like riots.

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic

Saalkin posted:

Either this or the Bill's because the Bill's mafia poo poo is loving funny AF.

i hate football so these are the reasons I'd pick a team if I have to.

bills would be my second recommendation for sure. i think they're gonna be good for a long time, they have the whole revenge for the 4 straight superbowl losses storyline, and yeah, their fanbase is wilding out

plus you have even more reason to hate the pats

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Philadelphia Eagles if you like riots hate Santa Claus.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
Just pick the Packers man. They're known for pulling off crazy rear end plays and it's really entertaining to watch. Only team in the NFL that's publicly owned. Rodgers is turning into a chud but he'll be gone soon.

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic

comedy option: miami dolphins

Eight-Six
Oct 26, 2007

football games are expensive to attend, got drat

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010

I. M. Gei posted:

Or the Kansas City Chiefs, as Patrick Mahomes is cool.

He's a trump loving shitbird who also somehow loves ketchup even more than trump does. gently caress him.

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

every nfl player has the iq of a border collie. don't bother trying to pick on personality or any of that poo poo. just spend a few sundays watching all the games you can and pick the team you found the most fun. there's no rush. football is dangerous and profitable so it's never going away

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

binge crotching posted:

He's a trump loving shitbird who also somehow loves ketchup even more than trump does. gently caress him.

His mom is a moron but I haven't seen anything credible associated with mahomies political views.. just fake photoshops and fake quotes

BigHead
Jul 25, 2003
Huh?


Nap Ghost

Wall Balls posted:

comedy option: miami dolphins



Oh my god this play won the game for them today. Ha!

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

Eight-Six posted:

football games are expensive to attend, got drat

Some Packers fans have waited almost 50 years for season tickets. That wait is now over.

quote:

More than 99% of the Packers' 38,000 season ticket holders renew their seats every year, which results in about 70-100 new ticket buyers. The team has a waiting list of 140,000 for 81,441-seat Lambeau Field, which means a long time on the list.

Cory Vogel of Green Bay was put on the list when he was 2. He's 51 now and recently accepted an offer for Gold package tickets.

pro starcraft loser
Jan 23, 2006

Stand back, this could get messy.

I say Washington DC. Commanders.

We're the capitol of the country.

We really suck, but when we do win or ruin other teams' chances in the late season, its really funny.

Plus, if you get in now, when we do well 10 years from now you can say you aren't band wagoning.

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

yeah dan snyder's just a few more years away from turning that ship around

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.
\

We Got Us A Bread posted:

Bills if you like flaming tables and the idea of throwing dildos on the field. Also, if you live in an impoverished country, the winners of 4 straight superbowls!
Browns if you're pro-serial sex crimes, and the idea of feeding a machine designed to produce endless failure appeals to you.
Both of these teams will only ever bring you heartbreak and misery. Do not follow them, even of getting drunk and jumping through a table sounds fun.

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hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009

didn't read the thread but here's how i picked a nba team (started watching last year):

watch clips on instagram/tiktok/youtube of sport of yuor choice. take a liking to the style of a team or the personality of some of the players on a team. start watching games of theirs and feel free to flip teams when they play a bette rteam with more charismatic players. you're in an exploratory phase, so just enjoy some content and go with your gut.

picking the home team cause it's close is def for chumps

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