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I took a poo poo in the middle of the night and pushed so hard I heard a loud snap in my neck. For the next two weeks I experienced a hell I had never thought existed. I resisted going to the ER the whole time until I cried like an absolute bitch one morning and relented. After threat of spinal tap I declined, the ER let me go with amazing muscle relaxers that fixed it all. What is the most common goon injury?
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Feb 9, 2023 01:39
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 04:57 |
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I don't really have random injuries. My most common pain is my right shoulder being in pain for no reason. But that's not a sign of age, it's from having it broken badly in my early twenties. I did hurt my back last year and I think I slipped a disc, which hurt like a motherfucker for a week, but that was because I was moving heavy furniture and the other person was an idiot. Basically what I have learned in life is that other people ruin your body, time is slack.
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Feb 9, 2023 01:56
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Injured my back whilst getting up from the toilet. Hurt for a good 2-3 days.
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Feb 9, 2023 02:00
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nuts caught in bicycle spokes
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Feb 9, 2023 02:04
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tv fell on my head and turned me into a skeleton
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Feb 9, 2023 02:07
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Hurt my back moving my furniture to a new house. Doctors are dicks so now my medication is bourbon old fashions and weed.
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Feb 9, 2023 02:09
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A stiff wind will blow out one or both of my knees. I have to be extremely careful when I exercise, especially if I'm increasing the amount I'm doing even a little bit. Also I ran on a track once after a year of running through my neighborhood and developed such a bad stress fracture in my left leg that it took like 8 months to heal.
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Feb 9, 2023 03:31
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Fell out of mum's poosay
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Feb 9, 2023 04:28
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bossy lady posted:A stiff wind will blow out one or both of my knees. I have to be extremely careful when I exercise, especially if I'm increasing the amount I'm doing even a little bit. great username/regdate combo
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Feb 9, 2023 04:32
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I hurt my back lying down.
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Feb 9, 2023 04:35
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Sneezing is a risk
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Feb 9, 2023 04:36
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I hurt my pinky lighting a lighter. Like, it hurt for weeks.
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Feb 9, 2023 04:37
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Lighters usually light themselves thougg
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Feb 9, 2023 04:39
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Should I say I was lighting my bowl then? Because that's what I was doing, with my lighter. 
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Feb 9, 2023 04:40
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Glass jar shattered in my anus as I sat on n it
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Feb 9, 2023 04:53
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was grocery shopping and tripped, fell into a fusion torus. totally annihilated my whole body. i was like, wow I guess I'm officially middle aged.
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Feb 9, 2023 04:57
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Broke my dinger doing it with 5 beautiful women. At the same time 
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Feb 9, 2023 04:58
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JetSetGo posted:I took a poo poo in the middle of the night and pushed so hard good luck w/ the hemorrhoids
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Feb 9, 2023 05:04
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I was five years old when I realized I couldn't shrug off buckshot like I used to. Has anyone seen John Connor by the way?
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Feb 9, 2023 05:08
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/stumbles into the thread and cracks a vertebrae D-d-d-id someone say "when posting" yet?
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Feb 9, 2023 05:10
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My knees have been bad since I was 14, and just getting worse. I'm sad about that.
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Feb 9, 2023 05:11
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for real though, i broke my knee in a fencing (like, the sport) mishap when I was 17 or so. Went through a lot of rehab and can still do sports, but it hurts more the older I get 
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Feb 9, 2023 05:19
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On the morning of my 30th birthday I sneezed really hard and threw my back out for two days.
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Feb 9, 2023 05:20
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Dislocated my shoulder while taking a shower.
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Feb 9, 2023 05:36
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in my late 30s I played pinball all night at a rented cabin with friends and the next day the muscles in both my forearms were so shot I couldn’t properly wipe my rear end for a few days. The pinball machine was Lethal Weapon 3 
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Feb 9, 2023 05:39
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I’m almost 40 and I’ve never been seriously injured and I’m dumb as hell
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Feb 9, 2023 05:51
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Mechanical Pencil posted:Fell out of mum's poosay same fell out of his mum's pussy
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Feb 9, 2023 05:59
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Demon Of The Fall posted:I’m almost 40 and I’ve never been seriously injured and I’m dumb as hell you should take up parkour
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Feb 9, 2023 06:01
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Colonel Cancer posted:same fell out of his mum's pussy Cracked my skull WIDE open. Filled the void with carpet underlay.
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Feb 9, 2023 06:15
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2 colonoscopies. One of them I was partially conscious.
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Feb 9, 2023 06:17
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I currently have tennis elbow. Not sure if this makes me feel old so much as stiff ankles and knees every morning but it really sucks cuz I am constantly aggravating it.
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Feb 9, 2023 06:20
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Fkn double post, now got anal fissure.
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Feb 9, 2023 06:23
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Dick broken from banging ur mom
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Feb 9, 2023 06:27
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Creed's "With Arse Wide Open" plays over the PA
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Feb 9, 2023 06:30
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I broke my coccyx a few years back and now I swear I can sometimes tell there’s rain on the way because my rear end aches
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Feb 9, 2023 06:30
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I broke my coccyx banging your mom obviously
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Feb 9, 2023 06:31
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When you hosed my rear end and it smelled@!!
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Feb 9, 2023 06:32
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Trixie Hardcore posted:I broke my coccyx banging your mom obviously that's a weird way to b ang
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Feb 9, 2023 06:32
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Toxic Mental posted:Mom broken from banging ur dick
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Feb 9, 2023 06:32
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Developed grotesque red fuzzy inner-arm fungal infection from a contaminated racquet. Diagnosis: Tennis Elmo
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Feb 9, 2023 06:35
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