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Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

https://edition.cnn.com/2023/03/24/entertainment/gwyneth-paltrow-ski-collision-trial-friday/index.html

Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued for crashing into an elderly optometrist at an exclusive ski resort. The man's list of grievances include that he can no longer enjoy wine tasting.

She tried counter-suing him for $1 claiming that he was actually the one who crashed into her. They've been in litigation for like 6 years now.

It's all very hilarious and pointless. This article answers alot of FAQs that I'm sure you'll all have. Namely, why the gently caress did GP decied to wear her "Dahmers" to the trial?

https://www.theringer.com/movies/2023/3/24/23655171/gwyneth-paltrow-ski-accident-trial-breakdown

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Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
I also don't like wine tastings. Whom do I sue?

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
Hope she releases it like that On Cinema/Tim Heidecker Court series.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.
Wine makes me sick and I'm a white woman, how do I get in on this?

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy

Das Boo posted:

Wine makes me sick and I'm a white woman, how do I get in on this?

Vodka.

According to tv/film Grey Goose vodka

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Das Boo posted:

Wine makes me sick and I'm a white woman, how do I get in on this?

do you believe you've suffered a closed head injury at the hands of an ultra-rich celebrity wellness guru? I think just hating wine isnt enough but IANAL

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
I wonder if she went to someone, like a acting coach, her psychologist was there during the coaching.
Shes growling. free dancing, really all about not only winning but making it painful, and the acting coach and the psych, her, all brainstorming

You liked Monster, right?

Oooh I loved Monster

[fingers splayed palms down hand gesture] Ok...

Wee fucked around with this message at 09:50 on Mar 26, 2023

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

Piss Creep posted:

Vodka.

According to tv/film Grey Goose vodka

White claws or other artisanal spiked seltzers are appropriate as well.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

I'll reccomend High Noon or as we call them "nooners".

They are an elevated seltzer experience for the discerning white lady. POC can also drink them I guess.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Piss Creep posted:

Vodka.

According to tv/film Grey Goose vodka

poo poo, all I got is Ketel One.

Poohs Packin posted:

do you believe you've suffered a closed head injury at the hands of an ultra-rich celebrity wellness guru? I think just hating wine isnt enough but IANAL

More like emotional damage from all of these utra-rich celebrities insisting my only career path as a mid-30's white woman is "Wine Mom." Maybe I can I claim disability, too?

zone
Dec 6, 2016
Wine tastings are overrated anyway. The food is usually better though.
t. went to a few long ago

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Who

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019


Girl from Shallow Hal

thin blue whine
Feb 21, 2004
PLEASE SEE POLICY


Soiled Meat

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy

Its Jeffrey Dahmer you galoot!

Hes done a Freddy and possessed Gwenth Paltoy

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


teen witch posted:

White claws or other artisanal spiked seltzers are appropriate as well.

White claws are never appropriate. hth.

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

White claws are never appropriate. hth.

never artisanal either

GundamHealer
Jul 23, 2022

Hanging a sign in my kitchen of script font letters spelling out Live, Laugh, Litigate

zone
Dec 6, 2016

GundamHealer posted:

Hanging a sign in my kitchen of script font letters spelling out Live, Laugh, Litigate

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




now i may be colorblind, but why do they call 'em white people anyway? barely any of them are actually white

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
to some white women, they’re artisanal enough. she knows no class, in many senses of the word.

Poohs Packin posted:

I'll reccomend High Noon or as we call them "nooners".

They are an elevated seltzer experience for the discerning white lady. POC can also drink them I guess.

I can sip them but must immediately spit them out like a wine tasting. This is my struggle.

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
* 5 litre green and black tiger striped gourd-like container hanging off my purse *

This is my seltzer spitoon.

Borscht
Jun 4, 2011

Piss Creep posted:

Vodka.

According to tv/film Grey Goose vodka

I've checked the marketing data on this one believe it or not and it's teetoes vodka. By a long shot.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

Das Boo posted:

More like emotional damage from all of these utra-rich celebrities insisting my only career path as a mid-30's white woman is "Wine Mom." Maybe I can I claim disability, too?

You can be an Adult Capri Sun Mom and drink rum punch out of a plastic bag.

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy

Szyznyk posted:

You can be an Adult Capri Sun Mom and drink rum punch out of a plastic bag.

Imagine a total hot cougar drinking a capri sun and she comes up to you and says this is spiked and I'm about to make some bad choices.

You call the cops.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Imagine a hot cougar barrelling down a ski hill and she crashes into you so hard that you can't taste wine anymore.

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy

Poohs Packin posted:

Imagine a hot cougar barrelling down a ski hill and she crashes into you so hard that you can't taste wine anymore.

That would be like they invented alcoholic water.

Pretty awesome when you think about it

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

When you say elderly optometrist I can't picture anyone but larry david

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Idk it probably just dulled his sense of taste to the point that he couldn't pick out different notes. This would suck.

However, I also imagine he's the type of guy who really gets off on having a refined wine palette. So, you know, gently caress him I guess?

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Poohs Packin posted:

Imagine a hot cougar barrelling down a ski hill and she crashes into you so hard that you can't taste wine anymore.

Dude we're discussing Gwyneth Paltro here, are you watching a porno while posting?

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy

By popular demand posted:

Dude we're discussing Gwyneth Paltro here, are you watching a porno while posting?

dudes having Monday off work for "unexplainable hand and wrist soreness".

When you go to the chemist and pay for a Dr Cert.

Wee fucked around with this message at 11:53 on Mar 26, 2023

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Poohs Packin posted:

Idk it probably just dulled his sense of taste to the point that he couldn't pick out different notes. This would suck.

However, I also imagine he's the type of guy who really gets off on having a refined wine palette. So, you know, gently caress him I guess?

Mmmmmmm this wine isn’t the only thing with legs. :pervert:

500excf type r
Mar 7, 2013

I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.
This happened so long ago that Dave Matthews wrote a hit song about it

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

500excf type r posted:

This happened so long ago that Dave Matthews wrote a hit song about it

When gwenjth gowa down
The ski slope
Hummummaa sssszzuumma
Rubbbaa bubbbababa
Hoooomity haw
Yep yep
Zip zap

:banjo:

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
Things white people did

Oh, I dunno, just a lot of good stuff

anmd a lot of the bad stuff

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
Those glasses aren't bad tho. I'd get a more yellow lens, to0 be more like those Dahmer glasses.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

500excf type r posted:

This happened so long ago that Dave Matthews wrote a hit song about it

dave matthews was in a much more interesting lawsuit when his tourbus dumped a load of poo poo into what they thought was the chicago river but turned out to be directly on top of a boat full of people

edit: 800 pounds of poo poo

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

Earwicker posted:

edit: 800 pounds of poo poo

Interesting they dumped DMB albums on them

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy

Earwicker posted:

dave matthews was in a much more interesting lawsuit when his tourbus dumped a load of poo poo into what they thought was the chicago river but turned out to be directly on top of a boat full of people

edit: 800 pounds of poo poo

Lying in the folded out lounge - double bed back section of the tour bus just whacking it as it happened

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Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Szyznyk posted:

You can be an Adult Capri Sun Mom and drink rum punch out of a plastic bag.

gently caress, yeah. :frogc00l:

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