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Lazyfire posted:The new company-wide policy requires a three week approval period and the VICE PRESIDENT of your division has final say. Biplane posted:Sounds like a good time to step back and do the absolute barebones minimum! This all the way. Malicious compliance all the way: Apply for trip, get approval after trip was scheduled. Apply for trip etc etc
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Jul 28, 2023 01:01
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There’s a squirrel attacking people in my work’s parking lot.
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Jul 28, 2023 05:23
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Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?
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Jul 28, 2023 05:24
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Perish, definitely perish.
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Jul 28, 2023 05:27
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Skipping work to go in the parking lot, bare-chested and holding my ancestral espada ropera. Come inside, before someone sees you says a coworker. Fools, I have honor, and I will meet this squirrel without fear.
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Jul 28, 2023 05:29
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JUST MAKING CHILI posted:Stories about doing raps and learning dances jogged this memory free. We were told to come up with a team skit for the new fiscal kickoff event. My boss decided we would learn the dance from Remeber the Titans: https://youtu.be/betOQUfraN8. Skit thing reminded me of the dumbest thing I've ever been subjected to at work. One of our divisions has this big symposium that has something like 90% of the employees go to. They charter buses for the more remote branches of this. Its a big deal. The corporate holding company staff will show up for part of it to, and one year, someone thought "Hey, lets involve IT." Of course the manager of IT was a massive tool and was excited. We were told to make a skit about what we did, or about our area. So, boss of our group brings in his cheap Handicam, has people come up with things, and we do something like Nick Burns Company Computer Guy thing. Its beyond bad. Even worse, the person who makes the video never actually figured out how video editors worked, and massively hosed up the audio, so its 2-3 seconds behind. He also never asked anyone how to fix it. So, day of symposium, everyone meets at this big event center in town. Roughly 60% of the attendees are hung over. There is a thermos of hot chocolate being passed around that is easily 50% schnapps. After a few speeches, and a couple of awards, they roll through the videos. Most are various levels of bad you'd except. They get to the one our group did, audio is still off, and the room is SILENT during it. Not even a polite clap at the end. 2nd IT group does theirs, theirs is just a quick thing about what they do, but has the advantage of having the person doing the talking in there have charisma, and do a fun thing with someone in the background peeking out of a shred bin in every scene. The next year, we are not asked to participate in this again, and are even told that honestly, we don't even need to show up. The only copy of this video is destroyed and no one has talked about it since.
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Jul 28, 2023 06:35
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Barudak posted:Skipping work to go in the parking lot, bare-chested and holding my ancestral espada ropera. Come inside, before someone sees you says a coworker. Fools, I have honor, and I will meet this squirrel without fear. Your relief drives up, accidentally squishing the squirrel. "Hey! What's up? Why are you dressed like that?" In my work news, what I thought would happen actually having a store manager is... kinda happening. I have nothing bad to say about the SM, they are coming into a unique situation within the company and they're really trying to come to grips with that vs. their training. All the work that has been un-done is getting done, but kind of in a hurry, without regard to why things are different in our location. I understand what and why corporate wants things done, but we are working backwards a bit for now. B., who I've mentioned before, continues not to get it. Yesterday I was tasked with a very specific job to do which involved going everywhere in our (very small) location. In the mean time, B. managed to piss a customer off enough that they called me to the front to help the customer, to let me hear all about it. "I can't imagine working with someone like that. gently caress B. Hey! Thank you!. I need to [$300 transaction]." "Not a problem  . Is there anything else I can help you with?""If you're here in the future, I'll come find you to help me." "Ooo-k! Have a good'un!" Today, one of our more methed-out customers came in and didn't actually act all that weird. What they said to B. was funny as gently caress though. "Oh, Hon', you are God's gift to man. I only wish you liked [people of my race], because I'd be right at your door! I'd spray paint myself [color of skin] just to get in your good graces!" "Whaaat?! You're too kind. Too much." "Yeah, I mean the manager at this other store is racist as gently caress!" "You're too right. I've heard that!" I couldn't. Customer walked right past me with a wink and I almost lost it. Blind incomprehension at what they were talking about, right to B.'s face.
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Jul 28, 2023 06:54
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Barudak posted:Skipping work to go in the parking lot, bare-chested and holding my ancestral espada ropera. Come inside, before someone sees you says a coworker. Fools, I have honor, and I will meet this squirrel without fear. In the hallway outside my office watching Barudak suplexing a squirrel. His toupee slips off. Megumi-gawa.
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Jul 28, 2023 08:22
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JUST MAKING CHILI posted:Stories about doing raps and learning dances jogged this memory free. We were told to come up with a team skit for the new fiscal kickoff event. My boss decided we would learn the dance from Remeber the Titans: https://youtu.be/betOQUfraN8. About 10 years ago my manager wanted to do something like this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMuRWRqpQXQ I don't even think we got past what song to use for it, the germans in the team wanted a death metal one from what I remember, but the boss wanted a generic pop song that none of us wanted to be seen dead lip syncing to. Can't remember the songs, but the boss did a 'test' of just himself to show us how it would go, but after we just went hell no, not going to happen. He was in such a huff for months.
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Jul 28, 2023 12:00
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Lazyfire posted:We just had an all-hands for Supply Chain to kick off a massive reorg that's going to be...interesting for most areas. We're about to watch people who were previously purchasing machined parts for Singapore become responsible for electronics going to Phoenix. Being in special projects keeps me from having to get moved around which is great because I haven't spent three months at a time with a single manager in the last year and could use some stability. Seeing what our supply chain deals with in our aerospace company makes me glad I’m but a lowly tech in a department no one knows much about. There’s a good chance we get acquired by someone else since our parent company got themselves in too much debt, so while that could be fun it could also be a poo poo time to be here
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Jul 28, 2023 15:21
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ya know..........i don't think i'll tuck my shirt in for the interview, for anything listed hourly. i buy expensive clothes at least.
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Jul 28, 2023 18:18
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RocketMermaid posted:
In a factory I used to work at we had a dude who would bring in a camping stove to cook his lunch right in front of the production machines. Very much against health codes and company policy. When they wrote him up, he switched to cooking his lunch in the ovens that were used to heat the production molds. When they tried to fire him for this, he found a loophole in the union contract wherein he confessed to being a coke addict and they had to let him go to rehab instead of firing him. We only drug tested pre-employment and post-injury, so he went right back to snorting coke after he returned to work.
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Jul 28, 2023 18:44
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Machai posted:In a factory I used to work at we had a dude who would bring in a camping stove to cook his lunch right in front of the production machines. Very much against health codes and company policy. When they wrote him up, he switched to cooking his lunch in the ovens that were used to heat the production molds. When they tried to fire him for this, he found a loophole in the union contract wherein he confessed to being a coke addict and they had to let him go to rehab instead of firing him. We only drug tested pre-employment and post-injury, so he went right back to snorting coke after he returned to work. How is it the most unbelievably useless, willfully negligent, actively unproductive people can skate through life without consequence, but diligent, conscientious workers are hosed on a constant, ongoing basis? It's because the latter spend all their energy trying to be productive while the former spend all their energy on self preservation and loving everyone around them over.
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Jul 28, 2023 18:50
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Wish I had learned that lesson 20 years ago: never work hard, never try to help, always gently caress over your coworkers if it will benefit yourself
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Jul 28, 2023 19:00
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Machai posted:In a factory I used to work at we had a dude who would bring in a camping stove to cook his lunch right in front of the production machines. Very much against health codes and company policy. When they wrote him up, he switched to cooking his lunch in the ovens that were used to heat the production molds. When they tried to fire him for this, he found a loophole in the union contract wherein he confessed to being a coke addict and they had to let him go to rehab instead of firing him. We only drug tested pre-employment and post-injury, so he went right back to snorting coke after he returned to work. dudes rock
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Jul 28, 2023 19:06
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After leaving my old job (I loved the actual work, owner is a monster) I finally got hired at the place I wanted to get hired at. More money, full benefits and no missing paychecks. And then at the same time I find out my old workplace, on the fast track towards financial implosion, recently got a money injection because I created a product for them while I was there and it got them an OEM deal. So they are flush again. Lol.
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Jul 28, 2023 19:09
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Biplane posted:Wish I had learned that lesson 20 years ago: never work hard, never try to help, always gently caress over your coworkers if it will benefit yourself First day at my job (I've been here 12 years now) some guy told me the key to success here is: Never be first, never be last, never volunteer.
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Jul 28, 2023 19:23
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manpurse posted:First day at my job (I've been here 12 years now) some guy told me the key to success here is: That's been the rule in any army, ever.
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Jul 28, 2023 21:16
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:After leaving my old job (I loved the actual work, owner is a monster) I finally got hired at the place I wanted to get hired at. More money, full benefits and no missing paychecks. They wouldn't have paid or thanked you, even if you were still there.
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Jul 28, 2023 22:17
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:After leaving my old job (I loved the actual work, owner is a monster) I finally got hired at the place I wanted to get hired at. More money, full benefits and no missing paychecks. Oh.. they'll figure out how to gently caress it up
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Jul 28, 2023 22:23
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Outrail posted:How is it the most unbelievably useless, willfully negligent, actively unproductive people can skate through life without consequence, but diligent, conscientious workers are hosed on a constant, ongoing basis? He was pretty good at his actual job, he just also really liked snorting coke off the clock and cooking food near his workstation. We had worse dudes, both drugs-wise and bad at job-wise. One of the guys that trained me dealt crack on the side and lived in a trap house. Before I knew all that stuff, I made the mistake of showing up for a cookout, and there were prostitutes there. There was another guy that started the same day as me that ended up getting his fork truck license and then had it revoked within 2 months because he kept hitting stuff. Final straw was when he took out one of the cement barriers that separated the pedestrian walkway from the fork truck lanes. He was, unsurprisingly, a terrible driver, even by MA standards.
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Jul 28, 2023 22:47
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Outrail posted:How is it the most unbelievably useless, willfully negligent, actively unproductive people can skate through life without consequence, but diligent, conscientious workers are hosed on a constant, ongoing basis? its because capitalist societies are loving cowardly dishonorable enterprises
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Jul 28, 2023 22:57
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manpurse posted:First day at my job (I've been here 12 years now) some guy told me the key to success here is: Ah, the conscript creed.
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Jul 28, 2023 23:10
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Zopotantor posted:That's been the rule in any army, ever. I work for a utility company.....
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Jul 28, 2023 23:33
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Oof they just blindsided my wife with a “Congratulations! We recognize your hard work and dedication and see how you step up and all your value. We are pleased to announce you’ll be salary!” The way it was framed was super condescending like hourly workers are pieces of poo poo and she isn’t one now. She doesn’t work a lot of overtime but does have a semi erratic schedule since she’s an event manager for the city. A position that kinda requires you to be flexible and work overtime and after hours occasionally. This also kneecaps her ability to get comp time which was probably the biggest benefit since the city kinda sucks with PTO. She’s loving pissed.
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Jul 29, 2023 00:12
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Machai posted:He was pretty good at his actual job, he just also really liked snorting coke off the clock and cooking food near his workstation. So... you had a good time, right?
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Jul 29, 2023 00:20
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George H.W. oval office posted:Oof they just blindsided my wife with a “Congratulations! We recognize your hard work and dedication and see how you step up and all your value. We are pleased to announce you’ll be salary!” The way it was framed was super condescending like hourly workers are pieces of poo poo and she isn’t one now. The "Congratulations!" was for themselves, not your wife, for the overtime reasons you just described.
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Jul 29, 2023 00:26
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Machai posted:He was pretty good at his actual job, he just also really liked snorting coke off the clock and cooking food near his workstation. Sex workers can eat at cookouts too.
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Jul 29, 2023 00:26
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Machai posted:He was pretty good at his actual job, he just also really liked snorting coke off the clock and cooking food near his workstation. *sits in chair backwards* But you know who else ate at a cookout with prostitutes?
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Jul 29, 2023 00:37
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Fork of Unknown Origins posted:The HR guy who was here when I got hired showed us the Sexual Harassment Panda clip from South Park as part of our sexual harassment training, and insisted on using me and another employee in every example. lol your HR guy shipped you
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Jul 29, 2023 01:12
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skooma512 posted:*sits in chair backwards* Me?
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Jul 29, 2023 01:28
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manpurse posted:First day at my job (I've been here 12 years now) some guy told me the key to success here is: When I worked at a gas station an old timer told me if I saw a low speed collision about to occur, to turn away to avoid being a witness so wouldn’t have to go to court. Dunno if that was true as it never came up but he’d been around a while and I guess wasn’t a fan of being looped into civil suits.
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Jul 29, 2023 03:32
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happyhippy posted:About 10 years ago my manager wanted to do something like this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMuRWRqpQXQ Cowards. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEWVwgDnuzE manpurse posted:First day at my job (I've been here 12 years now) some guy told me the key to success here is: My personal Job Words to Live By: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to say too much and remove all doubt. My work is usually pretty good about things, just general business org tomfoolery rarely anything thread-worthy. Today got close tho. One of our big drives this year is to stop burning so many cycles giving free extended support to product versions that should no longer be eligible for help tickets. We got new call templates and everything about what to say and what steps to take when refusing service for old stuff. Yesterday (Thursday) a customer opened a case for support for a software version that went out of support in 2017  The agent who initially got the case immediately informed them they were well out of support and closed the case, in some cases directly copy/pasting the wording we got from our managers about how to handle cases for unsupported stuff. Customer bitches to Sales. Sales bitches to Management. Management folds like wet paper and hands me the case at 5:30 on a Friday afternoon  My shift goes until 8 so this isn't ~that~ terrible, but still a bit disappointed at my boss' boss' jello spine.
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Jul 29, 2023 07:53
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Atopian posted:They wouldn't have paid or thanked you, even if you were still there. Yeah they were upfront that they owned everything I did there. I probably signed the worst employment contract in human history just because I wanted to work at this "special" place. I didn't know how special it was. tater_salad posted:Oh.. they'll figure out how to gently caress it up Of this there is no doubt.
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Jul 29, 2023 09:39
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Dumb poo poo my work does: dumping a hotfix into my lap and expecting me to fix it without why instructions on reproducing it. I remember the last time this happened, it took a month of fiddling before I had to give up...so I refused to work on this one until support could reproduce it. It's been sitting in the queue for a month straight, my manager getting ever more antsy. Last Friday, one of the senior support persons was able to reproduce it in an hour, and I had a fix ready in 15 minutes after that.  nobody will learn anything from this
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Jul 29, 2023 13:25
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skooma512 posted:*sits in chair backwards* I’m fairly sure Jesus did.
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Jul 29, 2023 19:03
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Presenting an education session on a new feature. Except it doesn't exist because management got involved and delayed it for 3 months to add features. We don't know what features either because the client refuses to approve any new designs until their PM comes back from PTO in two weeks. And we can't possibly deploy anything until December. Should be a short presentation.
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Jul 29, 2023 22:35
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Killingyouguy! posted:We once had some low level employees complain to hr about workplace harassment from a manager and hr brought in a ton of lawyers specifically to prove that the manager was not doing any workplace harassment (he totally was but the lawyers declared it did not meet the legal definition of harassment) These employees fundamentally misunderstand the point of HR if they expected any other result.
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Jul 29, 2023 23:12
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most people dont understand that hr's function is to protect the company at all costs
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Jul 29, 2023 23:51
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Zopotantor posted:I’m fairly sure Jesus did. I'm really wondering who you think they meant. like, "you know who else ate at cookouts with prostitutes? that's right, hitler." ?
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Jul 30, 2023 00:50
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