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Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers


Poor car

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DAT RAM
Dec 28, 2003

Laissez les bons temps rouler

Sure a Suburban isn't out of the ordinary. But the dude with rapeface going on is.

http://pensacola.craigslist.org/car/767342669.html


Click here for the full 935x942 image.


toadee
Aug 16, 2003

North American Turtle Boy Love Association



Rollin' on sweet 18s:

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.


toadee posted:

Rollin' on sweet 18s:



What are those, truck wheels? Where do you get 18 inch steel wheels to fit an Integra?

(Because that is kind of cool...I like steelies)

Crazy Banter
Apr 1, 2001


King posted:

This may very well be true gold - although I don't know how good of a price that is:

1977 Toyota Celica GT - http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/car/764609463.html






This is really only a little bit on the high side from what I can tell, sadly. They only made that hatchback for two years, and the paint (and hopefully body) look to be in fairly nice shape. Hell, for a 30 year old car that interior is in drat nice shape, though not 8/10 like he was saying.

slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg


How about $10,500 for an unwanted vintage of vette with an ugly hood sans engine?

http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-cars-veh...QQAdIdZ56699239

3/4 of the single sentence run on ad is about the totally fantastic engine that isn't included, but he'd be willing to part with it for an additional mere $9500.

Edit: ALOT OF MONEY WAS PUT INTO THE ENGINE

Only registered members can see post attachments!

slidebite fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Jul 28, 2008

Kotaru
Jan 17, 2004

"Serve the Hive.....
Feel the groove.
I control....
the way you move."


If grumpy bear of the carebears was a TUNA.
http://easttexas.craigslist.org/car/776144982.html

Its only $18,000!

Click here for the full 1440x900 image.

_firehawk
Sep 12, 2004


Kotaru posted:

If grumpy bear of the carebears was a TUNA.
http://easttexas.craigslist.org/car/776144982.html

Its only $18,000!

Click here for the full 1440x900 image.



I love how when people list their modz, they always list their stereo first. Like its seriously 1996 all over again or something. The only performance modz on that car are the Brakes and the CAI, ohh and the roll cage. Seriously what a ricer.

Jones
Jan 23, 2004

by Y Kant Ozma Post


not a car but i found it in the cars section

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/car/777498331.html

ari.gato
Aug 13, 2003


Jones posted:

not a car but i found it in the cars section

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/car/777498331.html

Genius.

MomJeans420
Mar 19, 2007

Most of the gear, most of the time


Jones posted:

not a car but i found it in the cars section

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/car/777498331.html

"Need to get somewhere fast? Let me be your carpool dummy. $25/hour for round trip co-pilot. I will be waiting for you where you enter the highway. Showered and respectful."

The problem is when there's a lot of traffic half the time the carpool lane is just as bad. Most of the time when I'm driving in traffic I'm also going to be at my destination for a couple of hours (or a whole work day), so after a couple of days of that you could just drive by yourself in the carpool lane and pay for the ticket.

wodin
Jul 11, 2001

What do you do with a drunken Viking?



*sigh* I know seeing cars for half their Kelley value probably means it's a scam or the thing is abused in some way, but http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/car/778125867.html is really loving tempting.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him



wodin posted:

*sigh* I know seeing cars for half their Kelley value probably means it's a scam or the thing is abused in some way, but http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/car/778125867.html is really loving tempting.

Don't be that kind of person. Get your head straight.

MrKatharsis
Nov 29, 2003

feel the bern


http://gainesville.craigslist.org/car/777999916.html

Those are some nice dining room chairs.

Daddy Fantastic
Jun 22, 2002

For the glory of FYAD

MrKatharsis posted:

http://gainesville.craigslist.org/car/777999916.html

Those are some nice dining room chairs.
speed AND class*!


*class sold separately

You Am I
May 20, 2001

I will decide who posts John Howard pictures in this thread and the circumstances in which they post.


MrKatharsis posted:

http://gainesville.craigslist.org/car/777999916.html

Those are some nice dining room chairs.

An old S Class which never came in a 200 option, straight from Europe even though it has US headlights in it. So much wrong there.

CmdrSmirnoff
Oct 27, 2005
happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy


Click here for the full 1259x632 image.


What possesses a man to trick out a Lincoln with lambo doors and a dvd player but keep the stock rims? Was he thinking it'd just be too much class?

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/car/767268281.html

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.


Here's a sign of the times. To be fair, he DOES have his head screwed on straight if you look at book values. But if you look at what cars are actually going for, most ebay completed listings for 03 Expeditions have high bids for more like 6-9000 dollars, and a lot of those are loaded...this appears to be a near-base-model. Also, it being in Lake Havasu, "low miles" could be surprisingly high (especially considering they aren't actually disclosed here). Basically, I think that he's going to have to look older than 03-04, that considering how many people there are around here trying to unload trucks just like his, he's going to have to go lower than he wants, and that considering how few Miatas there are in Mohave county, he's probably going to have to go pretty far afield to find one at ANY price.

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/car/777908925.html

Only registered members can see post attachments!

VideoTapir fucked around with this message at 04:00 on Aug 1, 2008

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.


Alright, which one of you clowns made the parody ad?
http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/car/778405641.html

Lets see, where to begin:
  • one giant paragraph with minimal punctuation and all caps
  • giant block of keywords on the bottom (related AND unrelated)
  • city is misspelled
  • JAY DEE EMMU TYPE R YO (probably stolen)
  • Filthy inside
  • License plate...oh my god the license plate. AND YOU KNOW THIS CAR HAS BEEN BABIED.
  • EXCLAIMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!
  • READY FOR PAINT (so, what, you're gonna paint right over the dents?)
  • WTF with the bumper accessories
  • JAY DEE EMMU novice driver sticker on the back window
  • Makes a point to talk about who the amateur-looking wiring was done by
  • Side trim is missing, wonder if he has it
  • Cargo area trim seems to be gone
  • Car was at least three different colors before it was sanded down - was probably wrecked.
  • Car appears to be listing to port

ALL FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS

Is it fast? Possibly. Is it a mess? Sure looks like it, no doubt cosmetically at least.

FIVE GRAND.



















Seriously, examine those keywords for a moment. BMW? Vortech? Camry? Donut? (In FWD?)

VideoTapir fucked around with this message at 07:28 on Aug 1, 2008

slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg


VideoTapir posted:

Alright, which one of you clowns made the parody ad?
http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/car/778405641.html

Lets see, where to begin:
  • one giant paragraph with minimal punctuation and all caps
  • giant block of keywords on the bottom (related AND unrelated)
  • city is misspelled
  • JAY DEE EMMU TYPE R YO (probably stolen)
  • Filthy inside
  • License plate...oh my god the license plate. AND YOU KNOW THIS CAR HAS BEEN BABIED.
  • EXCLAIMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!
  • READY FOR PAINT (so, what, you're gonna paint right over the dents?)
  • WTF with the bumper accessories
  • JAY DEE EMMU novice driver sticker on the back window
  • Makes a point to talk about who the amateur-looking wiring was done by
  • Side trim is missing, wonder if he has it
  • Cargo area trim seems to be gone
  • Car was at least three different colors before it was sanded down - was probably wrecked.
  • Car appears to be listing to port
I just saw the first picture and went "meh" at a horrible interior, and then the bumper which made me go from then on.

Love the custom hatch strut.

quote:

ALL FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS
BUT HE PUT A LOT OF MONEY INTO IT
Edit: IN STOLEN PARTS

slidebite fucked around with this message at 14:07 on Aug 1, 2008

newsance
Jan 27, 2006
idiot savant

http://cosprings.craigslist.org/mcy/771893902.html

Ideal 50cc (70cc) scooter! 55mph, 100+mpg, Yamaha Zuma, Gets up hills! - $2399 (Colorado Springs)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-771893902@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-27, 11:12AM MDT



Tired of not being able to get up hills on your Yamaha Zuma Vino or C3, Honda Ruckus, Honda Metropolitan or cheap Chineese scooter? So were we! We sold out 2008 Zuma because it was SO weak and bought this! It's the IDEAL 50cc scooter! Here's why:

- Upgraded to 70cc (but still classified as 50cc, so still no need for license, insurance, or registration). This upgrade usually costs $600+ installed.
- Easily gets up hills WITH 2 PEOPLE ON IT!! I've hit 55+mph on it
- Custom 2-tone paint without UGLY flame decals that come on all of them - Has Yamaha windshield, which makes for smooth, quiet ride
- Yamaha, NOT A CHEAP CHINESE SCOOTER THAT WILL FALL APART NEXT YEAR!!

Don't make the same mistake we made and buy a brand new, stock 50cc scooter. They're worthless on any road with a speed limit higher than 25. Yeah, they reach 35mph, but it takes 5 minutes to get there! With 2 people they're worthless.

The scooter has 1000 miles, and is a 2004. That's an average of about 16 miles a month; not bad! We're moving out of town in 2 weeks, and if we can get rid of it, that'd be nice to not move it, but if the price is not right, we're taking it with us. Recently: oil change, tune up and new spark plug. Over $3,500 invested in it. $2,399 or best offer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so you have a scooter that was $1700 new that you put a $200 top end kit on to make worth $2400 5 years later?

I emailed him to ask him what the hell he meant by "oil change". The response? "Scooters need oil changes just like a car".

When I responded asking if he A. was retarded and having a mechanic take his money, or B. was retarded and lying about what he did to the scooter in the ad, for some reason I didn't get a response.

I also tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask if he was talking about transmission service with the oil. Apparently not.

For those not familiar with the scooter, Yamaha Zumas are 2 stroke engines.

Steve French
Sep 7, 2003



CmdrSmirnoff posted:


Click here for the full 1259x632 image.


What possesses a man to trick out a Lincoln with lambo doors and a dvd player but keep the stock rims? Was he thinking it'd just be too much class?

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/car/767268281.html

Those rims don't look stock or 16 inches in the photo...

CmdrSmirnoff
Oct 27, 2005
happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy

Steve French posted:

Those rims don't look stock or 16 inches in the photo...

Yeah, though he clearly states in the description that it comes with the stock ones. He probably took them off to torture a poor MKS next.

Slow and Serious
Mar 20, 2007

It runs ok.

Kotaru posted:

If grumpy bear of the carebears was a TUNA.
http://easttexas.craigslist.org/car/776144982.html

Its only $18,000!

Click here for the full 1440x900 image.


He's got 4 gauges on the dash and at least 2 on the a-pillar. What kind of information would they be showing? Street cred?

APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT
Jul 22, 2005

you can prob fix that with a little duct tape and a paper clip

*is MacGyver irl*


This guy thinks his ten year old Dodge Ram with 170,000 miles is worth $8000 but it is really only worth maybe $4000 right now. But you will need to read the text to discover how completely screwed and deluded he is- it is kinda sad I think:



Click here for the full 1272x825 image.

APOLLO OHNO-UDIDNT fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Aug 2, 2008

You Am I
May 20, 2001

I will decide who posts John Howard pictures in this thread and the circumstances in which they post.


VideoTapir posted:

Alright, which one of you clowns made the parody ad?
http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/car/778405641.html
Isn't that Vitamin J's Civic

bladernr
Oct 3, 2006
I'm not wearing any pants. Film at 11!

mean2u posted:

He's got 4 gauges on the dash and at least 2 on the a-pillar. What kind of information would they be showing? Street cred?

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I'd guess:

Fuel pressure
Oil pressure
Oil temp
Water temp
Boost PSI or KPa
Air/Fuel Mixture
Tach, or shift light

But that's assuming the car is actually built up (it does look it, though not 18000 dollars worth of 8 year old built up). Otherwise, gauges are like NAWS... the more you go the faster the car must go (same goes for the Tach... the larger the tach the more RPMs it must be able to handle )

OmniCorp
Oct 30, 2004


Ebay scammer / Craigslist retard

LEARN HOW TO MAKE $ MONEY $ FAST GET RICH QUICK ON EBAY
"You came this auction for a reason. That reason is to find out how to become financially independent! Right? Well… my e-book will show you the steps that I took to become financially independent. It will explain how you can become that way too. All I do now is enjoy life by doing what I love the most…Bass fishing and spending quality time with my family! I start my auctions every week and I wait for the cash to roll in! It’s as simple as that! All it takes is your commitment to buy my e-book, learn from it, and then start building your empire!"

vs

REALITY
HELP...I cannot afford this truck! I need someone to bail me out!

Click here for the full 1094x640 image.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him



OmniCorp posted:

REALITY
HELP...I cannot afford this truck! I need someone to bail me out!

Click here for the full 1094x640 image.

quote:

Total owed $24,387
I'd like to ask him, "Hey, dumbass, how much is a new F150 these days?"

IOwnCalculus
Apr 2, 2003





You Am I posted:

Isn't that Vitamin J's Civic

I think VJ's is actually a SOHC, and painted in fewer colors

kimbo305 posted:

I'd like to ask him, "Hey, dumbass, how much is a new F150 these days?"

I would love to walk up to him with a dealer quote for the same truck, except a 2008 with zero miles, for less money, and watch him cry to death.

IOwnCalculus fucked around with this message at 21:36 on Aug 4, 2008

D C
Jun 19, 2004

1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING


kimbo305 posted:

I'd like to ask him, "Hey, dumbass, how much is a new F150 these days?"

If you can't pay you probably cant affrod the truck anyway.

Pompous Rhombus
Mar 11, 2007


quote:

I emailed him to ask him what the hell he meant by "oil change". The response? "Scooters need oil changes just like a car".

For those not familiar with the scooter, Yamaha Zumas are 2 stroke engines.

A guy in his 50s was making conversation last week when I stopped on my Minsk (a two-stroke). He claimed to have a 2-stroke Yamaha dirtbike back home, and wanted to know where I put the oil in my bike. "Mixed in with the fuel, 5%" wasn't enough, and he wasn't talking about the chain or clutch fluid or anything else either. He kept insisting that a two-stroke engine should have a separate source of oil.

I wonder where the hell he's adding his...

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

EVERYWHERE
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!



IOwnCalculus posted:

I would love to walk up to him with a dealer quote for the same truck, except a 2008 with zero miles, for less money, and watch him cry to death.

Or show him this ebay listing for the same truck: http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/e...em=260264494730

Buy it now for less than $16,000, or 8,000 less than he's asking. I almost feel sorry for him.

MrKatharsis
Nov 29, 2003

feel the bern


Bah, that guy is the picture of modesty compared to this chump. $30,000 for a 5 year old truck with 78,000 miles? What the gently caress?

quote:

!!!!!CUSTOM DODGE!!!!!! (TRENTON)
Reply to: sale-783800744@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-05, 10:14AM EDT


2003 DODGE DIESEL 3500 DUALLY 4X4, BEAUTIFUL DARK BLUE W/GRAY INTERIOR, CUSTOM STEREO SYSTEM, 7" LIFT KIT W/11R22.5 GOODYEARS ON ALCOA POLISHED WHEELS, EDGE WITH ATTITUDE PROGRAMMER, FULL STAINLESS MBRP DUAL EXHAUSTS, TRUCK HAS ONLY 78,000 ORIGINAL MILES. MUST SEE TO APPRECIATE. ASKING $29,000 OR BEST OFFER. EMAIL OR CALL 352-472-7941

http://gainesville.craigslist.org/cto/783800744.html

tractorcrusher
Sep 29, 2003

Huh huh huh huh huh! And you just said Hi! Hi! Hi! Heh heh heh! You sounded like ahh ha ha my niece! And she's six months old ha ha ha!

Admittedly, this is pretty awesome...

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/car/774818798.html

ElehemEare
May 20, 2001
I am an omnipotent penguin.


Pompous Rhombus posted:

A guy in his 50s was making conversation last week when I stopped on my Minsk (a two-stroke). He claimed to have a 2-stroke Yamaha dirtbike back home, and wanted to know where I put the oil in my bike. "Mixed in with the fuel, 5%" wasn't enough, and he wasn't talking about the chain or clutch fluid or anything else either. He kept insisting that a two-stroke engine should have a separate source of oil.

I wonder where the hell he's adding his...

He's probably adding it to the two-stroke oil injection reservoir. These exist on a poo poo load of two strokes. It eliminates the need to pre-mix fuel/oil mixtures. They break easy though.

squid posted:

The bike currently has 8044km on it. The oil was changed 4 times within the first 2000km and has been changed again with IPONE R4000 10W40 semi sinthetic oil twice more. I am asking $12,895 for the bike. The bike has over $4000 in accessories on it plus all the time that was spent installing it.
Here is the list of goodies I have installed on it:


1. KR Tuned no-cut frame sliders
2. hotbodies LED flushmount font signals
3. factory solo seat
4. Full custom decal kit
5. swingarm spools
6. factory smoke double bubble windshield
7. power commander III usb
8. Two Bros titanium Vale slip-ons
9. full custom map / tuning
10. installed four PIAA H7 super white bulbs as well as PIAA led marker lights in the corners of the headlights
11. Clear Alternatives integrated tailight
12. Galfer front and rear wave rotors

the sale will also include a stock windshield with the decals as well both stock front rotors as well as rear rotor which you could easily sell on ebay for a couple hundred bucks at least.

Click here for the full 1024x768 image.


Please purchase my thoroughly molested motorcycle for the equivalent price of a new one! $4000 in modz!

Anuv
Apr 4, 2008

by Fragmaster













http://orlando.craigslist.org/mcy/780063172.html

wanna meet that 250

Still have no idea how he got 4k miles without the radio being stolen.

tractorcrusher
Sep 29, 2003

Huh huh huh huh huh! And you just said Hi! Hi! Hi! Heh heh heh! You sounded like ahh ha ha my niece! And she's six months old ha ha ha!

Anuv posted:

Still have no idea how he got 4k miles without the radio being stolen.

He probably just steals another one each time his gets stolen... Circle of life.

rockcity
Jan 16, 2004


Anuv posted:



wanna meet that 250

Still have no idea how he got 4k miles without the radio being stolen.

Haha, I saw this yesterday when I was browsing around the Orlando ads.

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MomJeans420
Mar 19, 2007

Most of the gear, most of the time



My eyes can't figure out where to focus when I look at that pic - it's very "busy".

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