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As Nero Danced
Sep 3, 2009

Alright, let's do this


madattheinternet posted:

When I clicked on the listing:
code:
***FORD / TRANNEY*** - $250 (orlando fl.)
I thought "boy, this guy can't spell tranny" then I realized he couldn't spell anything.

http://orlando.craigslist.org/pts/1377114417.html



Is his name really "Danney" or did he get that wrong as well?

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Phangor
Apr 22, 2007

by Y Kant Ozma Post


eBay, not CL but I saw this earlier.



It "has not a clean title". Maybe a typo for "has got a clean title"? Nope. It's this guy's clever way of saying that it has a salvage title.

Also, love the R-RATED plates.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

http://cnj.craigslist.org/cto/1358112952.html

The wall of text is sort of funny but the bottom picture sells it. White plastic bucket for the jack stand and under the car next to it is a fuel can.

Pretty Little Rainbow
Dec 27, 2005

by T. Finn


Deal of the century here folks.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/v...1376870680.html

quote:

R you looking to keep the car enthusiast in you satisfied but thinkin of toning down a little?? i have a modded ( upgraded) 03 Jetta 1.8T with 250hp ( at the crank) , manual tranny with quite a few more mods to list ( a really long list ) and am looking for a Nissan Skyline R33 GTR. i can't see finishing the jetta when i want a different platform to build on... she's a great car, nothing bad to say about her not one single thing, just thinkin about the skyline w 400hp and not the stage 3+ jetta anymore... we all have our priorities, know what i mean??... Hell am I gonna have to wait till next year for the 95 gtr to become available in canada???


keywords, skyline, gtr, 350Z, G35, STI, Evoultion, RX-7, RX-8,

OldSquid
May 28, 2007
Flying a plane is just like riding a bike, except it's harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Splizwarf posted:

http://cnj.craigslist.org/cto/1358112952.html

The wall of text is sort of funny but the bottom picture sells it. White plastic bucket for the jack stand and under the car next to it is a fuel can.

I know waffle is usually temperamental around the 15th of the month and later, and photos.cx claims to be under a ddos attack, but a pic would be nice.


Thumbnailed to prevent super table breakage.

\/\/\/\/Thanks. Forgot about Tinypic. Rehosted. \/\/\/\/

OldSquid fucked around with this message at 13:12 on Sep 18, 2009

Panty Saluter
Jan 17, 2004

Making learning fun!


OldSquid posted:

I know waffle is usually temperamental around the 15th of the month and later, and photos.cx claims to be under a ddos attack, but a pic would be nice.


Thumbnailed to prevent super table breakage.

http://tinypic.com/

http://www.pict.com/

Both of these hosts are very trouble free in my experience. Please goons, stop using rinky-dink image hosts.

The Prong Song
Sep 7, 2002


WHITE
DRIVES
MATTER


Tai-Pan posted:

I kind of like it. Never heard of the car before, but if you want to sell a machine for twice the price of an Exige, it needs to beat it in at least one category like looks/handling/speed/cache department. Which the makers elected not to do.

I'm pretty sure that 425HP and over 330 ft/lbs of torque is going to beat an Exige's straight-line accel and speed.

unknown poster
Aug 4, 2007


Why.

Pretty Little Rainbow
Dec 27, 2005

by T. Finn


unknown poster posted:

Why.



SCRAPE SCRAPE


I've asked it before, but I still wonder what a rotary with a whistle tip would sound like.

MetaJew
Apr 14, 2006
Gather round, one and all, and thrill to my turgid tales of underwhelming misadventure!

1984 M3 Turbo you say?

Craigslist posted:

I have a 1984 BMW M3 TURBO. It has a stripped interior, but a custom wide body kit. The title is unavailable. I have done some body work to this BMW since these pictures were taken. if you are interested, please cal me at 832-881-4446


Click here for the full 1282x931 image.


http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/1358855620.html

Kurten
May 28, 2001

100% less banned. 50% more sober. 0% less bitter. NOW WITH LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE!



"Don't know what kind of car it is exactly, or where it is located. Can't understand the owner either...but it's for sale!"

Man-Eating Cow
Jan 18, 2001

by Fistgrrl


Kurten posted:



"Don't know what kind of car it is exactly, or where it is located. Can't understand the owner either...but it's for sale!"

I've seen a lot of poo poo in this thread and out and about the world, but not knowing where the loving car is in a car ad is a first for me. What is this guy going to tell someone who wants to come see it?

Seat Safety Switch
May 27, 2008

MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.



Pillbug


Click here for the full 605x649 image.


Low & slow, baby. Low and slow.

Solosilent
Dec 16, 2005


http://terrahaute.craigslist.org/cto/1384144886.html

quote:

hey everyone I looked at this pile of poo poo yesterday and the whole jeep is rusted out body and frame steering and trans linkage is loose took it for a drive and heard some engine noise got out and checked the oil and the dip stick broke off in the motor . so told the little punk that owned it what happened and i was coming back with it he called pork chop and bacon his cop friends and had them waiting for me to get back said it was my fault that on a test drive the oil dipstick broke remind you i went five miles on the street, wow that was my fault? anyway he and his fat girlfriend said i did itand that they have never had any problems ever. they are untruthful and dis-honest people and they will have to deal with that in there life when karma catches up to them. i drove a long ways because the punk told me it was a good running motor if you know this punk or his girlfriend or are looking at this jeep these people are scammers.



Can't find the original ad for the cj7 if there is one... Welp, good old Indiana.

vs Dinosaurs
Mar 14, 2009


Seat Safety Switch posted:


Click here for the full 605x649 image.


Low & slow, baby. Low and slow.

He must come in direct contact with every pebble, on every road he drives on.

AnomalousBoners
Dec 22, 2007

by Ozma


vs Dinosaurs posted:

He must come in direct contact with every pebble, on every road he drives on.

Note the air ride.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.

Fun Shoe

At least he doesn't want something crazy like $10k for it. Not that any price can justify a hacked up '98 Sunfire.

orange lime
Jul 24, 2008



slidebite posted:

Find out the name of the police chief in your city, and give the scammer his name and address of the station.

When I was administrating my college residence community's chat network (really just full of ) we'd often get people asking, at like 3:00 AM, "yo dude where can i score some weed man".

> hey dude, my dealer in res is at extension 6767, give him a ring, he'll hook you up
> thanks bro, callin now
> yea have fun
> ...
> DUDE YOU rear end in a top hat THAT WAS CAMPUS SECURITY WTF MAN I ASKED THEM FOR WEED

If you're dumb/high enough to forget the number that's posted on every security poster and every patrol car on campus, you deserve that.

Pat Clements
Feb 10, 2008


sirbeefalot posted:

At least he doesn't want something crazy like $10k for it. Not that any price can justify a hacked up '98 Sunfire.
10k for a shitbox Pontiac, you say? Welcome to Memphis!

http://memphis.craigslist.org/cto/1384623914.html

slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg


The Prisoner posted:

10k for a shitbox Pontiac, you say? Welcome to Memphis!

http://memphis.craigslist.org/cto/1384623914.html

I loving hate this:

quote:

158k miles on the dash but really is around 8-9k miles, because I have (installed New Polished Imported Heads, Racing Street & Strip Throttle Bodies Twin 58mm, Ram Air Intake, Ground wiring Kit, 200 amp high performance alternator, Slp High Preformance LT1/LT4 Timing Chain, New Accel Lt4 Performance Optispark Distributor, New water pump, New Battery, New Hypertech Performance Chip/Programmer) Cherrybomb Magnaflow Exaust.

YEAH, THE CAR SHOWS 200K MILES BUT I JUST REBUILT THE ENGINE SO THE CAR REALLY HAS NO MILES ON IT AT ALL BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THE ONLY THING ON A CAR TO AGE IS THE ENGINE AM I RITE???

slidebite
Nov 6, 2005

Good egg


What is it with 90s sports cars that makes people think they're worth a fortune?

1999 3000GT for $28 thousand dollars

Low miles, sure, but it isn't worth half that.

http://lethbridge.kijiji.ca/c-cars-...QAdIdZ154674020

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Pretty Little Rainbow
Dec 27, 2005

by T. Finn


slidebite posted:

What is it with 90s sports cars that makes people think they're worth a fortune?

1999 3000GT for $28 thousand dollars

Low miles, sure, but it isn't worth half that.

http://lethbridge.kijiji.ca/c-cars-...QAdIdZ154674020



LIMITED PRODUCTION*

*Only if you ignore the previous 8 years of VR-4 production.

http://www.stealth316.com/2-production.htm

orange lime
Jul 24, 2008



slidebite posted:

I loving hate this:


YEAH, THE CAR SHOWS 200K MILES BUT I JUST REBUILT THE ENGINE SO THE CAR REALLY HAS NO MILES ON IT AT ALL BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THE ONLY THING ON A CAR TO AGE IS THE ENGINE AM I RITE???

It looks like the only things on there that would count as a "rebuilt engine" are the heads and throttle body. Maybe the timing chain. Everything else is some cheap part that would have been easy to replace anyway.

I hate it when ricers talk about their SWEET BUILT ENGINE BRAH when in actuality they've replaced things like spark plug wires and the air filter but left the actual block untouched.

[e]

slidebite posted:

What is it with 90s sports cars that makes people think they're worth a fortune?

It's because the people who were 10-year-old kids in the first part of the 90s are now in their mid-20s, and at the perfect age to finally buy that sports car they saw once.

orange lime fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Sep 21, 2009

dreesemonkey
May 14, 2008


Pillbug



Don't ask me.

Tai-Pan
Feb 9, 2001


dreesemonkey posted:



Don't ask me.

I say nothing but Home Depot's finest 1/4" plywood will be used to craft this magnificent coach-built machine!

Tai-Pan fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Sep 21, 2009

944
Sep 23, 2008

by Ozma


dreesemonkey posted:



Don't ask me.

So its some custom slightly ugly body with a terrible looking interior, running an offensively expensive to maintain, difficult to find parts for Porsche v8.

Awesome.

Edit: and its a slushbox.

UserNotFound
May 7, 2006
???



I am not surprised.

Symphoric
Apr 20, 2005




UserNotFound posted:

I am not surprised.
I feel guilty for hoping this isn't fake, but it's just so drat poetic.

Phangor
Apr 22, 2007

by Y Kant Ozma Post


UserNotFound posted:



I am not surprised.

With a little work couldn't he just turn that into the most badass wheelchair of all time?

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

http://www.autotrader.ca/used_cars_...innipegmanitoba

madattheinternet
May 8, 2004

PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!


What the hell is this guy talking about?

http://orlando.craigslist.org/cto/1386157137.html

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Sex Weirdo
Jul 24, 2007



madattheinternet posted:

What the hell is this guy talking about?

http://orlando.craigslist.org/cto/1386157137.html



I honestly can't figure out what "litter fix" is supposed to mean.

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.


Phangor posted:

With a little work couldn't he just turn that into the most badass wheelchair of all time?

Like "Silver Bullet?"

Also...I think the subtext here is that he might really want to be rid of the bike.

Cozy
May 29, 2009


Aceshighxxx posted:

I honestly can't figure out what "litter fix" is supposed to mean.

Little fix?

Pretty Little Rainbow
Dec 27, 2005

by T. Finn


Actual gold.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/v...1340418563.html



quote:

Fabulous little honey in good running order...lots of work done to it...could use some interior and body love...must sell leaving town...was $3300 now $2500

Doctor Zero
Sep 21, 2002

Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Aceshighxxx posted:

I honestly can't figure out what "litter fix" is supposed to mean.

He's addicted to freebasing cat litter and he needs to sell the thing so he can get his fix. vv

D C
Jun 19, 2004

1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING


Aceshighxxx posted:

I honestly can't figure out what "litter fix" is supposed to mean.

INZE NEED LITTER FIX!

The Rocket Salad
Sep 1, 2004

lol what

Aceshighxxx posted:

I honestly can't figure out what "litter fix" is supposed to mean.
It means inze need one.

You Am I
May 20, 2001

I will decide who posts John Howard pictures in this thread and the circumstances in which they post.


Aceshighxxx posted:

I honestly can't figure out what "litter fix" is supposed to mean.
It might be running a CAT diesel...

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BDA
Dec 10, 2007

Extremely grim and evil.

dreesemonkey posted:



Don't ask me.
Am I the only one who thought "What did they do to that Miata?" when they first saw this?

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