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Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008

A group of very serious old men sat around and discussed whether or not I had the requisite dignity and grace of a grand champion.


conor gave up his back to nate diaz once and his head turned purple like a grape and was the best thing ever

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Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Oh, pretty, pretty, Blue Bongo!
Bongo-Bongo Blue!! Yah!


Buglord

I just watched McGregor Holloway and Max got absolutely tuned up before he got taken down by Irish wrestling. Did one of them suffer a grotesque knee injury?

Stealth Tiger
Nov 14, 2009



When Demian Maia was on his tear he was pulling half guard and sweeping people but he had a couple sweeps from mount too.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"


Sweaty IT Nerd posted:

I just watched McGregor Holloway and Max got absolutely tuned up before he got taken down by Irish wrestling. Did one of them suffer a grotesque knee injury?

Max broke his foot and Conor tore up his knee

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008


Stealth Tiger posted:

When Demian Maia was on his tear he was pulling half guard and sweeping people but he had a couple sweeps from mount too.

https://youtu.be/qu_ulU7nE-0

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

didnt olynik hit an Ezekiel choke from bottom mount?

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Герой Советского Союза



Eat This Glob posted:

didnt olynik hit an Ezekiel choke from bottom mount?

Twice in the UFC and probably a bunch of other times too.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

then yeah, definitely the beat way to escape mount

Count Roland
Oct 6, 2013



Jesus. I should try that in BJJ.

chaleski
Apr 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FRoTZXOgmgA

Another good way to get out of mount

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Bleak Gremlin

Is there anyone in the top ten of one of the UFC's men's divisions 145 pounds and higher who wouldn't have won the UFC 1 tournament without breaking a sweat? I was watching some old UFC the other day while drinking with friends and the level of skill on display was almost universally garbage. poo poo has come a loooong way.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008

A group of very serious old men sat around and discussed whether or not I had the requisite dignity and grace of a grand champion.


Memento posted:

Is there anyone in the top ten of one of the UFC's men's divisions 145 pounds and higher who wouldn't have won the UFC 1 tournament without breaking a sweat? I was watching some old UFC the other day while drinking with friends and the level of skill on display was almost universally garbage. poo poo has come a loooong way.

would any current world ranked 145ers lose to a 'prime' royce gracie?

JOHN CENA
Oct 20, 2006


Marching Powder posted:

would any current world ranked 145ers lose to a 'prime' royce gracie?

ryan hall is my personal barometer for eh kinda good 145er and im pretty sure he would have annihilated 1993 royce

chaleski
Apr 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


An unranked flyweight would breeze through UFC 1

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



How would an unranked flyweight fare against a fully roided out mark coleman circa 1996? Could mighty mouse today handle a prime Dan Severn?

Count Roland
Oct 6, 2013



Mr. Nice! posted:

How would an unranked flyweight fare against a fully roided out mark coleman circa 1996? Could mighty mouse today handle a prime Dan Severn?

If they were smart they could dance around and jab, exhausting the larger men, before going in for since sort of choke submission.

Foul Fowl
Sep 12, 2008

Like a snail that melteth away into slime, they shall be taken away; like a dead-born child, they shall not see the sun.

1996 mark coleman with headbutts would be world champion today

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Foul Fowl posted:

1996 mark coleman with headbutts would be world champion today

still undefeated at ikea

e: google isn't turning up anything but ikea news when I look up "mark Coleman ikea"

anyone have that story saved? i was hoping to read it for old times sake

Count Roland
Oct 6, 2013



I've never heard it but I expect the worse.

Also headbutts in the UFC are overrated. They were used effectively only a few times, and were never the superweapon people think they were.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"


Eat This Glob posted:

still undefeated at ikea

e: google isn't turning up anything but ikea news when I look up "mark Coleman ikea"

anyone have that story saved? i was hoping to read it for old times sake

found it. good as it ever was

Lemme tell you a true story.

Back in early 2004, I was impersonating Wes Sims for a few months as part of a bet. So me and The Hammer, we're going to Ikea, cause he needs to buy a chair, right? Nothing fancy, just a simple office chair with good lumbar support, cause he'd hurt his back a little fighting Fedor. So we're in Ikea, looking through all the Bjorns and Karls and Fingords and whatever the gently caress else they call the loving furniture, and Coleman's hopping in and out of the little display models, stretching and going "UUUURGH" and all "I don't like this one, these arms are gonna piss me off if I buy this and stuff".

Eventually we settle on one, I forget which, and we go looking for a member of staff. We find one, pimply little motherfucker, and he's all "Uh I'll need to go get a forklift driver cause it's kinda heavy" and, well, Mark is obviously a strong dude and we don't wanna wait cause we gotta go get our Swedish Meatball on, so we go with this dude to the warehouse, and we're gonna carry the chair ourselves, y'know? And that's when it goes bad. Somewhere on the other side of the warehouse, some numbnuts drops something, BANG, just like that.

And Mark lets instinct take over.

First victim is the pimply kid, cause I'd gotten used to Coleman by this point and got a pallet jack between me and him as soon as I heard the bang. The kid, obviously not too wise on his PRIDE, takes it like a sandbag, straight down, his head hitting the concrete floor like a canteloupe. Pretty grody.

Mark realises what he's done, and obviously he's pretty stressed, and for some hosed up reason there's, like, sixty display chairs and tables set up in the warehouse, must be about to be taken out to the shop floor for a display, except he doesn't see that, he just sees a forest of legs, all of them in pairs. It was like watching a bull slew through a bunch of paraplegics, I tell you. He's just BAM, double leg, BAM, double leg, BAM, double leg, shouting and bellowing the whole way. He gasses after his first five or six, but keeps BAM double legging them, for a whole twenty minutes. Last thing I remember of that godawful carnage, as I booked it out of a back door and the cops arrive, is a mental image, startling in its clarity still, of Mark Coleman doing the whizzer on a BERTIL, his face as orange as Hell's own glow.

It took a few cops to bring him in, of course. Eventually one of them made sergeant by screaming "THIS IS K-1 RULES!" in his face and cuffing him while he was confused. The trial was called off when the jury all got mysteriously injured a few days before, and the judge didn't post his arm correctly and dislocated his elbow. The only reporter foolhardy enough to try and cover the story got as far as "Noted cage fighter Mark "The Hammer"" before getting double-legged right through his own desk. As for me? Well, I won my bet. Easiest sixteen bucks I ever made.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

yesssssss! thanks lobster! lmao I forgot it started so, so perfectly too

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man



I can't remember who the "I" is of this. lol at it anyway.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"


p sure it, like most of the great posts on this subforum, is from dunc

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



A true loss for us all.

SA Forums Poster
Oct 13, 2018

You have to PAY to post on that forum?!?


Count Roland posted:

I've never heard it but I expect the worse.

Also headbutts in the UFC are overrated. They were used effectively only a few times, and were never the superweapon people think they were.

The cheating GOAT Jon "Roids" Bones used to headbutt with his chin into his opponents' stomachs.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Bleak Gremlin

LobsterMobster posted:

found it. good as it ever was

Thank you, this is a treasure.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


LobsterMobster posted:

found it. good as it ever was

Oh my loving God this is amazing

DeimosRising
Oct 17, 2005

°Hola SEA!




Eat This Glob posted:

yesssssss! thanks lobster! lmao I forgot it started so, so perfectly too

Yeah its sole flaw is that you canít improve on the impersonating Wes sims joke so itís technically downhill from there

Count Roland
Oct 6, 2013



SA Forums Poster posted:

The cheating GOAT Jon "Roids" Bones used to headbutt with his chin into his opponents' stomachs.

That was cool and good, though I think the red told him to stop.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

DeimosRising posted:

Yeah its sole flaw is that you can’t improve on the impersonating Wes sims joke so it’s technically downhill from there

the high note for me was "doing the whizzer to a BERTL" jumping right into the cop confusing him with the K1 rules. The whole thing is a goddamn symphony and i forgot the sims thing until he reminds you at the end and you go back to read it again. *kisses fingers*

JOHN CENA
Oct 20, 2006


has anyone ever won a fight with a big ol wind up punch?

Count Roland
Oct 6, 2013



STONE COLD 64 posted:

has anyone ever won a fight with a big ol wind up punch?

Uh yes

https://twitter.com/mmaxgifs/status...4984450?lang=en

chaleski
Apr 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


STONE COLD 64 posted:

has anyone ever won a fight with a big ol wind up punch?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=tJp9BePVXqU

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Wow....that feels good





Fallen Rib

Is it true that Wanderlei Silva shattered Gilbert Yvel steel cup in their Pride fight?

My one friend brings it up every time someone gets leg kicked in the balls.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man



Digital Jedi posted:

Is it true that Wanderlei Silva shattered Gilbert Yvel steel cup in their Pride fight?

My one friend brings it up every time someone gets leg kicked in the balls.

Let's go with no just to antagonize your friend.

DumbWhiteGuy
Jul 4, 2007

You need haters. Fellas if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of them motherfuckers. If there's any haters in here that don't have nobody to hate on, feel free to hate on me


STONE COLD 64 posted:

has anyone ever won a fight with a big ol wind up punch?

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009



CommonShore posted:

Let's go with no just to antagonize your friend.

I know someone had one break and pinch his ballsack. I want to say one of the nogs?

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Cabana's legal advice?
I'm bourgeoisie.
I... hit the shitty
firemans carry knee.






STONE COLD 64 posted:

has anyone ever won a fight with a big ol wind up punch?

https://i.imgur.com/AaE0MQZ.gifv

Count Roland
Oct 6, 2013



That's it. That's The Wind-up Punch.

I didn't notice before that huge exaggerated step he did. Also, that blow while Bisping was on the ground isn't as fun as it used to be: blows that so clearly damage the brain I find hard to watch these days.

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Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Count Roland posted:

That's it. That's The Wind-up Punch.

I didn't notice before that huge exaggerated step he did. Also, that blow while Bisping was on the ground isn't as fun as it used to be: blows that so clearly damage the brain I find hard to watch these days.

The huge exaggerated step is actually an inside leg kick and one of Danís setups for the BRH.

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