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SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Mr Darcy posted:

Respectfully, bullshit. We let mums give birth however they feel comfy. Mrs D. gave birth on her back about a month ago here in the UK, I know people who've done it standing up, on all fours or whatever.

Fair enough, I'm sure it does vary from place to place. My midwife was fairly insistent that I don't lay on my back, and who was I to argue? Anyway, my point was just that with SPD it's a good idea to try alternative positions.

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randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Alterian posted:

grandmas-to-be issues

Hey at least you can have a conversation with your mother!

I have a similar problem, sometimes my mother says "You'll be happy when I'm dead" but I don't have the balls to answer "prove it", and says that for her life was so hard and I am ungrateful for not willing her over for the birth.

I tried to go to therapy when my father died to check I was doing OK and the therapist said to take my distance from my mother, that my job is now to be a good mother, not a "good daughter" by complying to my mother tantrums (which is bad -- you don't comply to your toddler's tantrums, why should you comply to your mother's?). Then he said I don't need therapy but I can call him if I need something.

With my last pregnancy, I had pre-eclampsia, and for this one, my doctor explicitly ordered no grandmas at home and stated that if any was to come, she would hospitalize me. So I just told that verbatim to my mother. And I told her that she'll come when I invite her for as long as I want, and no drama (but hoping for no drama is like hoping for rainbow-making GBS threads unicorns). I try to give her hints on how to behave not to stress me (or generally, not to piss people off), but she really can't shut up and sometimes she burst in a waterfall of insults and useless criticism. And then she wonders why people do not like her.

Good luck with that. I don't expect to have peace with my mother since she won't seek for help despite her obvious psychological problems and distorted view of the world (apparently everybody hates her because they're all evil people and they just want to hurt us and manipulate us).

Grandmas are a pain here too (both of them). Me and my husband are both only childs, but our mothers claim to be experts in baby handling. This time, grandpa is coming. At least he knows nothing about handling a baby and will leave that to me. And won't stare at me while I'm breastfeeding (because omg boobs), and will help with the house without criticizing.

BTW, I am in the hospital now with some mystery fever at 36w. I am so not telling my mother.

GoreJess
Aug 4, 2004

pretty in pink


So we found out today that our little dude only has one functioning kidney. :( We had our anatomy/gender scan last week & my doctor thought there was probably something going on with his right kidney. So we went to the fetal specialists today to get another ultrasound & get the specialists opinion. Turns out his right kidney didn't develop correctly & is now just full of cysts (Multicystic Dysplastic Kidney). Thankfully, the left kidney appears to be working & taking up the slack.

Everything else looks great (left kidney, heart, limbs, skeleton, etc), which makes me feel like this will hopefully not be a big deal. But it just sucks that our guy is missing an organ, even if the other one is working just fine. The doctor said that we would just keep a close eye on both kidneys to make sure that the dysplastic one isn't enlarging & crowding the other organs. It used to be routine to automatically remove the bad kidney, but now they'll leave it alone as long as it doesn't enlarge.

Anyone else out there making it through life with only one kidney?

Ceridwen
Dec 11, 2004
Of course... If the Jell-O gets moldy, the whole thing should be set aflame.



GoreJess posted:

Anyone else out there making it through life with only one kidney?

My mom was born with a messed up kidney, which was removed when she was a couple of days old. She's now in her 50's and has never had an issue. Her remaining kidney takes care of everything just fine.

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.




I had a baby this morning at 12:08am. Pushed for 10 minutes he was 7lbs 12.6oz and 20.5" tall. He's breastfeeding like a pro and has already peed on himself.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


GoreJess posted:

Anyone else out there making it through life with only one kidney?

My dad had a kidney stone last year.

They did an ultrasound and the doctor asked him how long he's had one kidney.

"Oh, about 58 years I'd guess." was his answer.

He never even knew he didnt have two.

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

bamzilla posted:

I had a baby this morning at 12:08am. Pushed for 10 minutes he was 7lbs 12.6oz and 20.5" tall. He's breastfeeding like a pro and has already peed on himself.

Holy smokes! Congrats, Bamzilla.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



Thanks for the encouraging words about my mom. Its nice just to know I'm not doing the wrong thing and just to stick to what I'm doing.

In other news, I just found out I'm getting laid off a month before I'm due. I'll have insurance through the end of November and I'm due at the end of November. :suicide:

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



bamzilla posted:

I had a baby this morning at 12:08am. Pushed for 10 minutes he was 7lbs 12.6oz and 20.5" tall. He's breastfeeding like a pro and has already peed on himself.

Congratulations! Glad it's going smoothly! Post pictures when you can!

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

Alterian posted:

In other news, I just found out I'm getting laid off a month before I'm due. I'll have insurance through the end of November and I'm due at the end of November. :suicide:

Don't they have to offer you cobra at least??

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



dreamcatcherkwe posted:

Don't they have to offer you cobra at least??

Yeah. That stuff is expensive. I can go on my husband's but that's expensive too. I also don't know how that will work since I've been paying into using this insurance with the OB already (they bill it globally or something?)

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

Alterian posted:

Yeah. That stuff is expensive. I can go on my husband's but that's expensive too. I also don't know how that will work since I've been paying into using this insurance with the OB already (they bill it globally or something?)

It's expensive but probably worth it for a couple months post-birth just in case you need it. I'm sure the OB's office will know how to deal with the situation. Sucky!

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



They gave me my paper at work about how much longer I have. Looks like November 2nd will be my last day and they'll pay me for any remaining PTO. (Thank god. I was saving it for maternity leave) I'm due on the 17th, and at the last ultra sound they said I might be further along than first said, but not enough to change my due date. Hopefully this baby will GTFO and I have no complications that make me be in the hospital longer than November. The baby can be on my husband's insurance for free, but we'll have to pay for me to be on it. It should be cheaper than cobra at least. I don't want to deal with the clusterfuck of being in the hospital while the insurance switches over. Hopefully it all goes well and its not an issue.

Irisi
Feb 18, 2009



GoreJess posted:

Anyone else out there making it through life with only one kidney?

My best friend at school was born with one good, one useless kidney. She had hers removed age 7 as the doctors suspected a malignant growth. Periodic ultrasounds every few months picked up on any problems very quickly, I think the removal was more of a precautionary measure than anything else.

She bounced back from the surgery super-quick and the other kidney and rest of her digestive/urinary system works perfectly and has done for the last 29 years!

GoreJess
Aug 4, 2004

pretty in pink


Spermy Smurf & Irisi, thank you for the reassurances. I'm feeling better about everything today, just keeping my fingers crossed that nothing else comes up during the next 4.5 months.

Stairs
Oct 12, 2004


bamzilla posted:

I had a baby this morning at 12:08am. Pushed for 10 minutes he was 7lbs 12.6oz and 20.5" tall. He's breastfeeding like a pro and has already peed on himself.

You win!

Congrats and I hope this bodes well for me going quickly too. My husband just helpfully noted that his Nan's birthday is July 27, and since we got married on her wedding anniversary it would make sense if we birthed on her birthday.

Randomity
Feb 25, 2007

Careful what you wish,
You may regret it!


Alterian posted:

Yeah. That stuff is expensive. I can go on my husband's but that's expensive too. I also don't know how that will work since I've been paying into using this insurance with the OB already (they bill it globally or something?)

My OB's office did the global thing and my husband got a new job and we switched insurances a couple months before she was born. The way they did it was, when I first started seeing them they calculated what my (old) insurance would cover and I paid the remainder in monthly installments (at each monthly visit while I was pregnant). However (and this was sooooo hard to get through my husband's head holy poo poo), they did *not* bill insurance until after she was born, so when we switched insurance all we had to do was recalculate what we would owe through the new insurance and pay the difference the last couple months.

The way I looked at it was, when we made payments to the OB's office, they set that money aside and held on to it until she was born. When she was born they billed insurance, and instead of having to bill us for the remainder, they already had the money we paid them set aside to cover that. So switching insurance before she was born was simple because they hadn't actually involved the insurance company yet.

I don't know that your OB's office is operating in the same way but it sounds like they may be doing so.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



Thats pretty much how its going to go. I'm going to max out my deductible though. It would blow to max it out on appointments with my old insurance and then have to pay it again on the new insurance for the delivery.

Alterian fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Jul 25, 2012

Randomity
Feb 25, 2007

Careful what you wish,
You may regret it!


Alterian posted:

Thats pretty much how its going to go. I'm going to max out my deductible though. It would blow to max it out on appointments with my old insurance and then have to pay it again on the new insurance for the delivery.

With mine, since they didnt file anything until she was born, nothing went to my old insurance. Even though when I went to appointments and had ultrasounds and labs I was under the old insurance, they billed *all* of it to the new insurance when she was born.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



Ohhhh I get it now. I have an appointment on Tuesday anyway. I'll talk to them when I go in. Thanks for the info.

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.




oh yea, photo:

Axiem
Oct 19, 2005

I want to leave my mind blank, but I'm terrified of what will happen if I do


Our baby makes no sense. She'll be 8 weeks this Saturday, and she has been a fuss bucket the past few days, and is crying a LOT more than she used to.

What worries me is that when breastfeeding, she'll go about five minutes on the breast, and then she'll suddenly start bawling, even after being burped. It's really starting to wear on my wife, always being screamed at, and I'm getting worried the kid isn't getting enough food. My wife isn't complaining about full breasts; is it just that the baby will go up and down in volume of milk eaten?

Often it seems like she's overtired, and if I try to force her to sleep, it eventually works for a while. But is it okay for her to sleep that much?

Also, at barely eight weeks, she has a little whitish bump almost right in the middle of her bottom gum. We did have the OB say she was ready to be born a full month before she was (so she may be more like "twelve weeks" in some ways developmentally), but that's still really early to start teething, I'd think. Apparently it can just happen, but I'm not sure how to really tell.

In the last day or so, she has also been pawing at her nose a lot. She has normally been pawing at her mouth to suck on the fingers, and occasionally hits her eyes because she likes her hands by her face--but she's very clearly going after her nose. I've been stopped up a bit the past few days, presumably from allergies, and we also just moved a bunch of furniture around in the house in preparation for a carpet cleaning (which we wanted to have before she was born, but apparently they schedule those things like four months out). I'm thinking she might have some extra mucus buildup in her sinuses, if she inherited my allergies, but she doesn't sound like she's having any extra trouble breathing. She does have a lot of drool, but I think she kind of always has.

Oh yeah, and she has a hard time pooping, and has gotten fussy over that--my wife has taken to doing the vaseline-on-qtip trick to help, and a couple of times it's been a little thicker than it probably should. I figure she's a bit dehydrated because of this freaking heat (despite the indoors being on A/C, we can only get it so cold in a 100-year-old house. Not unsafely hot, but not as cold as might be best (i.e. down to 77 or so, instead of closer to 70)), but I dunno.

Though now when people ask me how it's going, I just say "the baby is healthy", because "healthy" apparently means "regularly keeps you up until 1 in the morning".

Please tell me it gets better. :ohdear:

(Also, it is really weird to be sharing intimate details about my baby's bodily functions with The Internet)

Chickalicious
Apr 13, 2005

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

Babies do get efficient at eating as they get older, so where they were hanging out on the boob for 30 minutes very early on, that time will dwindle down to a more manageable length of time as they get older. Does she spit up a lot? Has she been checked for reflux? My kid would do the milk coma thing after nursing, so a crying baby after nursing is a little foreign to me personally, but I know it's not unheard of.

Randomity
Feb 25, 2007

Careful what you wish,
You may regret it!


The little whitish bump thing, you say it's right in the middle? Does it look kinda like a whitehead? My son got those and the pediatrician said they are related to teething but they are not actually teeth. When his first tooth actually started to erupt (much, much later, he has always been a bit behind the curve with his tooth development), there was no mistaking it. Google "Epstein's Pearls" and see If that sounds right.

Helanna
Feb 1, 2007



Looking for opinions on how hard it is having babies close together. I just had my first daughter 7 weeks ago, and despite breastfeeding my period started up again so presumably I'm fertile again. I was really hoping for a few months of no period, specially as I'm even pumping extra for a milk bank.

My husband thinks this is a sign that we should have babies close in age (nothing new really, he's always been of that opinion). I intended to wait 2+ years, but now I'm not sure.

Current baby is super easy; she's a happy little thing, and already reliably sleeps 7 hours through the night (8 last night!) followed by 2-3 further hours after a feed, and also naps well most days. I lost 25lb of baby weight already, but it was a caesarean - I read that I should wait over a year before getting pregnant again?

Mostly I just wonder how my sanity would be tested with 2 babies under 18 months, as opposed to having a 2-3 year gap.

hookerbot 5000
Dec 21, 2009


I think there's been a suggestion of increased risk of birth defects if children are born too close together, a quick google found this

quote:


Children born too close together are more likely to be born early, or small and underweight. Premature or too small babies have a greater chance of becoming sick; some even die as a result. Researchers believe babies born close together are less healthy because the mother's body has not fully 'bounced back' from the previous pregnancy. Being pregnant and having a baby takes a toll on a woman's body. How long should you wait before having your next child? The healthiest babies are born to women who waited 18 to 23 months after giving birth before getting pregnant again. Using a family planning method helps you plan your pregnancies and control the amount of time between births.


I personally would not want to cope with two children under 18 months, the thought of trying to feed and care for a newborn while a one year old is tearing about trying to stick everything they find in their mouth and climb over furniture so they can launch themselves off is exhausting.

But I think it's a very personal choice. Some people think it must be awful having big age gaps and ask me how I cope with a teenager and a baby.

Chickalicious
Apr 13, 2005

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

I think it depends on how you feel about dealing with two small children. The oldest won't be old enough to really be independent at that age. I know that I personally would not be in a very good place mentally having to manage two small kids all day every day. Even the people I know who do it well have told me that the first 6 months are hell and basically you're just trying to keep your head above water. But after the first year the kids are little buddies and it's adorable. I've also seen a couple marriages get pretty rocky after the second kid too, even when both partners are active parents.

Edit: My period came back at 10 weeks postpartum and I just took it as a sign to be more diligent with the condoms.

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

Helanna posted:

Current baby is super easy; she's a happy little thing, and already reliably sleeps 7 hours through the night (8 last night!) followed by 2-3 further hours after a feed, and also naps well most days. I lost 25lb of baby weight already, but it was a caesarean - I read that I should wait over a year before getting pregnant again?

Mostly I just wonder how my sanity would be tested with 2 babies under 18 months, as opposed to having a 2-3 year gap.

I would wait to have a 2ish year gap after a c-section personally.

Even though current baby is calm, there's no guarantee 2nd baby will be (and in my case I had a very easy first baby and a very high-needs 2nd one [and a high needs 3rd one]).

hepscat
Jan 16, 2005

Avenging Nun


Helanna posted:

My husband thinks this is a sign that we should have babies close in age (nothing new really, he's always been of that opinion).

Opinion is one thing, but don't go by some biological imperative. I got my period 4 weeks after postpartum and I can safely say getting pregnant that quickly would have seriously drained my body's resources.

If you want kids close together for the sake of having them close in age, that's one thing. But don't think your body is demanding another baby by getting your menstrual cycle back. By that logic you should have started having babies at age 11 or whenever you got your period.

Helanna
Feb 1, 2007



Definitely sounding like I should stick with original 2+ year plan! I think hormones just making me feel like having another baby; head knows it wouldnt be the best idea yet.

Bonus baby poop question: she is breastfed and pooped several times a day until this week. But now she had diarrhea on Saturday night and Tues night, with no other pooping in that time. She's eating well, farting a lot, and plenty of wet nappies. Wondering if it's anything to be concerned about / if I should give her anything to make her poop more. I can feel her belly gurgling a lot but she doesnt seem distressed. Most of what I googled suggests breastfed babies shouldnt get constipated :3:

Randomity
Feb 25, 2007

Careful what you wish,
You may regret it!


My kids are 17 months apart. It wasn't intentional but it's been a lot easier than I expected. However, my daughter (the youngest) was born 2 weeks early, and only weighed 5 pounds 13 oz. My son weighed 8 pounds 9 oz when he was born. The youngest also had to be on oxygen for about 15 hours after she was born because she was breathing too fast. It is my *opinion* that her low birth weight was due to them being so close together. I nursed my son through most of my pregnancy and my body hadn't really had time to fully recover from the previous pregnancy. If I could do it again I wouldn't change anything, though.

However, it's your body, your choice. You can listen to your husbands wishes (although saying that you got your period back early is a sign is ridiculous) but ultimately the choice is yours. Don't let him talk you into something you aren't ready for.

Also keep in mind that you may not be so lucky with the next one. I was lucky in that my first child was the difficult baby (colicky and a lovely sleeper) while my youngest has been so easy. I know a few people who recently had second babies who aren't so lucky, though, and having a difficult newborn is a lot harder when you also have another child to worry about.

Edit: also my son, despite being a difficult and clingy baby, has grown up to be a very independent toddler. I just won the luck lottery for having an easy time with two kids close together, but there are some days (especially when my husband has been working 80+ hour weeks) that I just want to disappear. If I didn't have my family close by (my parents live less than 2 miles from me) to help on difficult days, I'd probably be singing a much different tune.

Randomity fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Jul 26, 2012

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

Helanna posted:

Bonus baby poop question: she is breastfed and pooped several times a day until this week. But now she had diarrhea on Saturday night and Tues night, with no other pooping in that time. She's eating well, farting a lot, and plenty of wet nappies. Wondering if it's anything to be concerned about / if I should give her anything to make her poop more. I can feel her belly gurgling a lot but she doesnt seem distressed. Most of what I googled suggests breastfed babies shouldnt get constipated :3:

Breastfed babies can go up to 10ish days without pooping without worry. It might make them uncomfortable but it's okay and not a sign of a problem as long as they aren't dropping weight and are still having lots of wet diapers.

She isn't constipated unless she's pooping out hard pellets. Not pooping doesn't mean constipation.

Axiem
Oct 19, 2005

I want to leave my mind blank, but I'm terrified of what will happen if I do


My wife checked with the pediatrician today, and it looks like our daughter has a cold, and being stuffy might explain her sudden bouts of unhappiness. We got some nasal drops, and we need to put the humidifier on a lot more, but it looks like that might help some.

We also had a nice long pooping session last night, and after that she was a whole lot happier, and I was able to get through most of a bottle (my wife pumps) with her without much incident.

Chickalicious posted:

Babies do get efficient at eating as they get older, so where they were hanging out on the boob for 30 minutes very early on, that time will dwindle down to a more manageable length of time as they get older. Does she spit up a lot? Has she been checked for reflux? My kid would do the milk coma thing after nursing, so a crying baby after nursing is a little foreign to me personally, but I know it's not unheard of.

Thing is, she was going like, five minutes and then screaming her head off--not enough to get enough milk. Usually she would eat for her time, then immediately go into a milk coma. She was spitting up more than usual, too. Though, since the poop session last night she's been better, so my theory (just a theory) is that she had too much stuff built up and literally had no room for it to go. Once we cleared out her intestines (who knew they could hold that much?), she was a lot happier.

Reflux might be something worth looking into. It runs in my family.

Randomity posted:

The little whitish bump thing, you say it's right in the middle? Does it look kinda like a whitehead? My son got those and the pediatrician said they are related to teething but they are not actually teeth. When his first tooth actually started to erupt (much, much later, he has always been a bit behind the curve with his tooth development), there was no mistaking it. Google "Epstein's Pearls" and see If that sounds right.

Doesn't look right, but I'm also no pediatrician. Wouldn't surprise me if it's something in that family. I'll keep an eye on it, though. Thanks for the info!

Helanna
Feb 1, 2007



dreamcatcherkwe posted:

Breastfed babies can go up to 10ish days without pooping without worry. It might make them uncomfortable but it's okay and not a sign of a problem as long as they aren't dropping weight and are still having lots of wet diapers.

She isn't constipated unless she's pooping out hard pellets. Not pooping doesn't mean constipation.

Wow 10 days, I'd be panicking at that long! Even Saturday-Tues, I'd said to my husband I was going to take her to the doctor if she didn't poop by Weds morning. I'm just used to her pooping all the time I guess! Definitely no hard poops from her, ever.

Saw my lactation consultant today, and found out Issy's tongue tie has started healing back again, which explains why I've had some pain when feeding her this week. Really sucks, because we've already had it snipped once. She needs her lip tie cut as well, so it looks like I'll have to get the tongue tie snipped again at the same time. Lip ties aren't really corrected in Ireland at the moment, so I have to go to the UK to get it done.

Susan B. Antimony
Aug 25, 2008



My boys are twenty months and six weeks old--we had planned to wait a little longer, but at least so far, it's been much easier than I feared (although some times, like tandem nursing, have been harder than I expected). My youngest is a pretty cheery baby, though; this would be so, so much harder if he was colicky. As it is, we're all just a bit dazed. But it's great!

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Helanna posted:

Looking for opinions on how hard it is having babies close together. I just had my first daughter 7 weeks ago, and despite breastfeeding my period started up again so presumably I'm fertile again. I was really hoping for a few months of no period, specially as I'm even pumping extra for a milk bank.

My husband thinks this is a sign that we should have babies close in age (nothing new really, he's always been of that opinion). I intended to wait 2+ years, but now I'm not sure.

Current baby is super easy; she's a happy little thing, and already reliably sleeps 7 hours through the night (8 last night!) followed by 2-3 further hours after a feed, and also naps well most days. I lost 25lb of baby weight already, but it was a caesarean - I read that I should wait over a year before getting pregnant again?

Mostly I just wonder how my sanity would be tested with 2 babies under 18 months, as opposed to having a 2-3 year gap.

Looks like you've gotten some great answers, but to add a little more about c-sections, my doctor advised me to not get pregnant until at least one year because of the c-section. I think it has to do with giving your body ample time to heal and strengthen where the incision is because if you get big again from pregnancy too soon, you have a greater risk of rupturing the incision, which is seriously not good for you or the baby.

MoCookies
Apr 22, 2005



I thought I wanted another baby soonish, but after taking care of two 9-month olds solo yesterday, I can definitely say I need a bit more time between kids. I also realized that I'm going to need more help with the kid(s) to stay sane. My husband works too many hours and we live 2000 miles away from our families, so as much as I want another one, I realize I need the proverbial village if I'm going to have another baby and any free time to do stuff that's solely for me. It would also really be nice if the older one could be in preschool when doing the morning sickness and the newborn stages again. Ugh.

Lullabee
Oct 24, 2010

Rock a bye bay-bee
In the beehive


nah.

Lullabee fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Mar 21, 2017

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.




Lullabee posted:

So I'm getting conflicting messages everywhere, but when is the official start of the second trimester? Some people say 12, my baby book says 13, and websites say 14. I always thought it was 13. Also, yay for being 12 weeks and hopefully almost done with this morning sickness.

Edit: How far is your uterus supposed to be at 12 weeks? I went to the bathroom this morning and coming out, I realized its at my belly button.

16 weeks

serious response: 14 weeks (12 weeks gestation)

bamzilla fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Jul 28, 2012

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Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

Lullabee posted:

So I'm getting conflicting messages everywhere, but when is the official start of the second trimester? Some people say 12, my baby book says 13, and websites say 14. I always thought it was 13. Also, yay for being 12 weeks and hopefully almost done with this morning sickness.

Edit: How far is your uterus supposed to be at 12 weeks? I went to the bathroom this morning and coming out, I realized its at my belly button.

You would probably love Pregnancy 411. I swear I referenced it a few times a day for a while there, between my questions and my husband's. Very informative but non-alarmist.

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