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hookerbot 5000
Dec 21, 2009


How common is it not to be able to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks 5 days? I had my first scan yesterday and the midwife said that she thought she saw a heartbeat but the machine didn't pick it up so they couldn't say for sure. It was an external scan as they don't do internal ones up here.

The whole appointment was a bit off. When it started she asked the date of my last period, I told her the date and explained it was a miscarriage. She seemed surprised I even knew the date then the fact it was a miscarriage just seemed to convince her that I wasn't as pregnant as I thought and got my dates mixed up. She started scanning and was pretty much "There's something in there but it's too early to see anything and I can't say what it is" and said that it looked like if it was a pregnancy it was only about 4 or 5 weeks and too early to tell. I tried to explain that I knew it must be at least 6 weeks as I'd been charting my ovulation and also I hadn't had sex since the 31st August but she was really dismissive. So I started crying then she actually bothered to measure the lump and it measured 6 weeks 5 days which is 3 days off what I had thought but not the 2 weeks that she had been insisting it was. Then she denied saying it was only four or five weeks and started being all nice and saying it was probably fine but she must have said "if you start bleeding" about 6 times so now I am pretty much convinced it's not going to end well.

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lady flash
Dec 25, 2007
keeper of the speed force

hookerbot 5000 posted:

How common is it not to be able to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks 5 days? I had my first scan yesterday and the midwife said that she thought she saw a heartbeat but the machine didn't pick it up so they couldn't say for sure. It was an external scan as they don't do internal ones up here.

This is just anecdotal but my doc had a tough time finding the hb on my 12 wk external and told me I was right on the border for having to do an internal one.

Ceridwen
Dec 11, 2004
Of course... If the Jell-O gets moldy, the whole thing should be set aflame.



I would say it's quite common to not see the heartbeat at that stage with an abdominal ultrasound. My doc won't even try the abdominal probe until after 10 weeks.

ETA: We did see the baby and heartbeat transabdominally at 6 1/2 weeks with my miscarriage pregnancy, but that was on the hospital US machine, which is way higher quality than even the pretty nice ones my OB has in her office. This pregnancy at 6w2d the tech tried a transabdominal on me at the OB's office because the exam table was broken and she was hoping to avoid having to figure out how to position me for the transvaginal type. It was a complete no-go, even though I'm super skinny. We couldn't see anything at all. Got a bunch of pillows to prop me up for the trans-vaginal and saw a healthy baby with a strong heartbeat no problem.

Ceridwen fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Oct 4, 2012

hepscat
Jan 16, 2005

Avenging Nun


Anecdotally the same: I was told it might be hard to see the heartbeat at 7 weeks (then the joke was on me because I was 9 weeks along and didn't know it).

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



A few relatives are buying us some baby stuff. Whats the etiquette for sending thank you cards? Should I send them before I have the baby or afterwards and include a photo with it?

My mom's family is very crazy when it comes to stuff like this. Some of them are still mad that I didn't thank them enough for the bridal shower over 6 years ago even though I thanked them in person, gave them cards AND a thank you gift. Its one of the reasons I'm not having a baby shower. I don't want to deal with it again.

Amelia Song
Jan 28, 2012



If they're that crazy about it, I would send thank you cards now and also consider doing picture birth announcements.

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.



Wait, you didn't know that gifts are simply an implied currency for eliciting favors and more gifts in return? Don't you keep a tally?! :downs:

We just sent thank yous as we got gifts, but that was more for practical reasons as we knew that time would be extremely limited after the baby arrived. I think most reasonable people wouldn't expect more than that. Any birth announcements were considered a separate affair, but of course we sent those too.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



Yeah I guess I'll just send thank you cards now and another after the kid is born. We weren't planning to really send out a bunch of birth announcements, just some pictures to a handful of family members that actually give a poo poo.

Not only did I have to deal with the "not thankful" enough thing at my bridal shower, I also had to deal with them playing mind games with the presents! One of them bought me a nice, expensive kitchenaid standing mixer when she already knew that my mom had bought me one a couple months earlier for Christmas just to gauge my reaction and see if I would say anything or just accept it gracefully. My husband was at the shower too and I was desperately shooting him psychic messages praying he didn't say "Hey, we have one of those already!" He thankfully didn't.

My cousin gave birth a couple days ago. I'm due in about 6 weeks, and another cousin is due about 8 weeks after me. All on the same side of the family!

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

We did kind of postcard style birth announcements. The people who had already sent us gifts got theirs in envelopes with thank you notes written on the back. If they hadn't sent us anything at that point, we sent them like postcards, and did separate thank you notes afterwards if they had given us something later.

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS

Amelia Song posted:

If they're that crazy about it, I would send thank you cards now and also consider doing picture birth announcements.

Yeah pretty much. My family is kind of uptight too so I did a thank you card before the birth and sent everyone who gave a gift a birth announcement (I had a huge family shower AND one from my company too, so if I can send out 50ish thank you cards and birth announcements, you can too!). If they want more than that, well, gently caress 'em. Tell them to add you on Facebook and you'll post pictures regularly.

Edit: Some also sent gifts after the birth, I just thanked them face-to-face. At some point they've been thanked enough!

CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


Question: How soon after giving birth did you start going to the gym again? I see my doctor next month for my post-partum check up, but I've been feeling really good. Should I wait the entire six weeks, or do you think I can start working out again sooner? Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy being able to relax, but I really miss working out.

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

I'd do cards before the baby is born. We ended up having to do ours after, since she came kind of early, and...um. We, um. We kind of got bogged down and didn't get to everyone.

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

CravingSolace posted:

Question: How soon after giving birth did you start going to the gym again? I see my doctor next month for my post-partum check up, but I've been feeling really good. Should I wait the entire six weeks, or do you think I can start working out again sooner? Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy being able to relax, but I really miss working out.

I was cleared for normal activity 6 weeks after a c-section. I can't see any reason you'd have to wait nearly that long after a vaginal birth, as long as you're feeling fine.

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.




Usually it's recommended 6 weeks which is the time when you get your first pp visit (barring complications). I think until then I'd stick to just walking around the neighborhood/store if you just HAVE to get out and exercise.

CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


Mnemosyne posted:

I was cleared for normal activity 6 weeks after a c-section. I can't see any reason you'd have to wait nearly that long after a vaginal birth, as long as you're feeling fine.

I'm thinking of calling my doctor to ask, but I don't think he'd clear me without seeing me. But my lochia (lokia?) flow is light and I feel fine and was just thinking about walking on the treadmill. I think I'm just nervous because one woman told me she worked out before six weeks and blew a blood vessel that required surgery and four days in the hospital. :(

skeetied
Mar 10, 2011


CravingSolace posted:

I'm thinking of calling my doctor to ask, but I don't think he'd clear me without seeing me. But my lochia (lokia?) flow is light and I feel fine and was just thinking about walking on the treadmill. I think I'm just nervous because one woman told me she worked out before six weeks and blew a blood vessel that required surgery and four days in the hospital. :(

I'd listen to your body here. Go slowly and don't do too much and if your lochia increases, rest.

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

bamzilla posted:

Usually it's recommended 6 weeks which is the time when you get your first pp visit (barring complications). I think until then I'd stick to just walking around the neighborhood/store if you just HAVE to get out and exercise.

I agree with this. I would wait the 6 weeks except for light walking. There's really no reason to rush back into exercising. Let your body heal.

CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


Okay. I figured as much. They have a gym at my apartment complex and I was thinking of doing some walking on the treadmill, but I just don't know if it's worth it.

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


More progress for Ben. After one week with the inclined bed and reflux meds, he finally takes naps in the day! He sleeps very well at night and is up to 4 naps a day. Before he would get less than 10 hours of sleep every day and we were all grumpy.

Happy baby!

vanessa
May 21, 2006

CAUTION: This pussy is ferocious.

CravingSolace posted:

Okay. I figured as much. They have a gym at my apartment complex and I was thinking of doing some walking on the treadmill, but I just don't know if it's worth it.

I think that would be fine, as long as you take it easy. A treadmill that is 500 feet from where you live is different than going to a gym that is a few miles away. If you get sore, it will be easy for you to get home.

My anecdote: I was pretty desperate to get out of the house after D was born that at two weeks postpartum, my husband and I routed what we thought was a modest, one mile walk around the neighborhood. I made it not quite halfway when my hips started hurting badly. I hobbled the rest of the way home using the stroller to keep myself standing but was really close to sending my husband home without me to go get the car and come back for me.

After that, I didn't walk more than a quarter mile at a time and built my way back up. By my 6 week checkup, I was back up to 1.5 miles and my OB was really impressed with that and said that it could take up to 6 months postpartum to really be where I was before giving birth.

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

Vanessa, that's a lot like what I remember after my daughter was born. I recovered from my C-section very very quickly, in terms of pain, so after a week or two of dutifully taking it easy I was antsy to get out and about. It turns out walking all the way around the block is harder than you'd think, dammit. And I was pretty clumsy and unsteady on my feet, too.

So, yeah, go slow with the exercise, maybe have someone come with you even if it seems silly to have a spotter to walk on a treadmill or amble half a mile.

rangergirl
Jun 2, 2004
A shark on whiskey is mighty risky, but a shark on beer is a beer engineer

skeetied posted:

I'd listen to your body here. Go slowly and don't do too much and if your lochia increases, rest.

This is what the nurse told me when she came for our in home visit after the baby was born. I was going for 2-3 long walks a day literally 2 days after coming home from the hospital and I was absolutely fine. I have VERY high energy dogs and didn't have much choice if I wanted to keep my sanity intact.

CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


I told my husband that I want to start walking a bit, so he suggested getting out of the apartment together to do some errands and maybe walk around a bit. If I feel good doing that, he'll watch the baby while I go downstairs and walk on the treadmill a little.

Not to be annoying with all of the questions, but I have one about breast feeding. My son latches really well, but I'm afraid that my supply can't keep up with his appetite. He'll be on my breast for over an hour and is still hungry, but when I try to keep my flow going, barely anything is left.

I've started taking fenugreek to increase my supply, and pumping between feedings to try to stimulate it. Someone also told me to increase my caloric intake, but it's hard. I find I don't have much of an appetite these days.

I feel really awful when my supply runs low and he's still hungry. I feel like I'm failing him. I don't want to supplement with formula or give up on breast feeding. I feel like I'll be a massive disappointment if I do. I'm just feeling very frustrated with myself. :(

skeetied
Mar 10, 2011


CravingSolace posted:

I've started taking fenugreek to increase my supply, and pumping between feedings to try to stimulate it. Someone also told me to increase my caloric intake, but it's hard. I find I don't have much of an appetite these days.

To be blunt, you've got to eat. Breast milk contains around 20 calories per ounce and that's not including the calories you expend to make it. Get some tasty high calorie snacks like cheese, avocado, and nuts and keep them around to munch on when you nurse. Also, just because your baby is nursing a lot doesn't mean that you don't have enough milk; especially once growth spurts hit, you may feel like you're never NOT nursing. Is your baby having plenty of wet diapers?

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

You have to eat AND drink. During pregnancy, you're supposed to consume an extra 300 calories, but during breastfeeding, you're supposed to consume an additional 500. Look for high protein stuff, like Greek yogurt, nuts, peanut butter, or hummus. Iron-rich foods help a lot of people too, especially oatmeal and brewers yeast.
They say you don't need to drink extra water, but I found that not to be true for myself. Maybe I'm just not a thirsty person by default, though.

You're also supposed to continue taking your prenatal vitamins while breastfeeding.

iwik
Oct 12, 2007


Do babies tend to have regular or irregular breathing patterns?

We've noticed that Soren tends to have large pauses every so often, followed by a small sigh, a couple of deep breaths then returning to rhythmic breathing.
We have one of those AngelCare monitors and it was enough to set it off twice the other day - after bolting down the hallway in a panic he was being squirmy after the alarm disturbed his sleep - no issue otherwise.

We've had him home for just over a week and it hadn't happened until then.. but it was a bit warmer and he was very sleepy after not sleeping much through the day the day beforehand.
Would that be a combination of super sleepy baby and basking/relaxing in the heat?


Is the weird breathing pattern something we should be concerned about?

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.



I've heard they can forget to breath for up to 15 seconds at a time. Newborns, I believe, are even more likely to pause or change their pattern.

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

From what I recall--yes, newborns do have irregular breathing. You can certainly mention it next time you're at the doctor with him but that kind of stop-and-start is pretty normal.

rangergirl
Jun 2, 2004
A shark on whiskey is mighty risky, but a shark on beer is a beer engineer

CravingSolace posted:

I feel really awful when my supply runs low and he's still hungry. I feel like I'm failing him. I don't want to supplement with formula or give up on breast feeding. I feel like I'll be a massive disappointment if I do. I'm just feeling very frustrated with myself. :(

I hate how much pressure is put on mothers now to exclusively breast feed no matter what. I understand breast milk is best and it should be encouraged to breast feed, but I went home from the hospital pretty much convinced I would kill my baby if I gave him formula at all. I ran into the same problem you have and caved in one day when I had been up for 2 days straight because he was constantly hungry. I tried eating more, drinking more, the brewer's yeast etc., nothing really worked for me. At that point it was either he got supplemented with formula or I was going to snap from mental and physical exhaustion. I felt terrible about giving it to him but I got over it REAL fast when he actually stopped crying and seemed full for once.

Hopefully everything works out for you and you can continue to breast feed exclusively, but don't feel guilty if it doesn't...there are plenty of smart, successful people out there who were formula fed as babies.

CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


I'm still taking the prenatals and yeah, he has lots of wet diapers. I just hate when he eats for an hour and then screams when I'm unable to produce anymore. I caved and bought formula to give him when I'm running on empty until I can get my supply where it needs to be. I feel really, really horrible about it. :(

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Wife had contractions 6am on the 2nd. Went to hospital, no progress at 2pm so they sent us home. Contractions kicked into high gear at 3 so went back in at 4pm.

Had epidural at 6ish and contractions blew right thru it, severe pain all labor. Strong contractions caused her to dialate from 3cm to 10 fairly quickly for first baby. Wife is small, 105lbs small. 3hrs of pushing started at midnight.

Had Valerie at 3:13am on 3rd. 8Lbs 3oz. 19.5 inches long. Perfect looking little girl. Cant figure out how to attach pic from my phone on awful app.

2 nites in hospital, rough first nite home. Last nite much better since milk came in and she not hungry anymore.

Postin with left hand only because my right asleep under Valeries butt.

Grayscale Rainbow
Oct 16, 2009



CravingSolace posted:

I'm still taking the prenatals and yeah, he has lots of wet diapers. I just hate when he eats for an hour and then screams when I'm unable to produce anymore. I caved and bought formula to give him when I'm running on empty until I can get my supply where it needs to be. I feel really, really horrible about it. :(

My son would eat for a minimum of one hour as a newborn and frequently longer (and no matter how long he nursed for, he would want to eat again within the hour). I worried that he wasn't getting enough sometimes when I would try to hand express and nothing would come out (plus I felt empty), but he continued to have wet diapers and grew well. I guess my point is, you may think you are empty when you are not and as long as his growth is fine, don't worry about how long he nurses for. If you need to give him formula then do, but if he is growing fine then what's the need?

skeetied
Mar 10, 2011


CravingSolace posted:

I'm still taking the prenatals and yeah, he has lots of wet diapers. I just hate when he eats for an hour and then screams when I'm unable to produce anymore. I caved and bought formula to give him when I'm running on empty until I can get my supply where it needs to be. I feel really, really horrible about it. :(

If you want to exclusively breastfeed, I wouldn't start supplementing until you can get in to see a lactation consultant. Newborns can easily develop a flow preference for bottles and all of that sucking he does when you feel empty is what stimulates your milk supply. If your baby is making enough wet diapers and gaining weight, your milk supply is most likely fine. The eat for an hour is completely normal newborn behavior and the screaming could be unrelated, so I would definitely check in with a LC first to do a weigh feed weigh (which lets you see how much milk he's eating) and learn about a SNS if you are going to need to supplement.

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

iwik posted:

Do babies tend to have regular or irregular breathing patterns?

We've noticed that Soren tends to have large pauses every so often, followed by a small sigh, a couple of deep breaths then returning to rhythmic breathing.
We have one of those AngelCare monitors and it was enough to set it off twice the other day - after bolting down the hallway in a panic he was being squirmy after the alarm disturbed his sleep - no issue otherwise.

We've had him home for just over a week and it hadn't happened until then.. but it was a bit warmer and he was very sleepy after not sleeping much through the day the day beforehand.
Would that be a combination of super sleepy baby and basking/relaxing in the heat?


Is the weird breathing pattern something we should be concerned about?

Ditto what everyone else said about newborns having irregular breathing patterns. I've also read that those monitors aren't really accurate.

CravingSolace posted:

I'm still taking the prenatals and yeah, he has lots of wet diapers. I just hate when he eats for an hour and then screams when I'm unable to produce anymore. I caved and bought formula to give him when I'm running on empty until I can get my supply where it needs to be. I feel really, really horrible about it. :(

You're trying hard and doing what you can, and you're asking for help too! Please don't feel terrible; this is what a good mom does--tries her best. If you do end up doing formula, that's not going to hurt your baby. Do try and eat something. I know it's hard when you're worn out. Is there some comfort food you can't resist? And call your hospital or have your husband call and ask for the lactation consultant! Mine really helped when I was having issues and bawling during nursing.

SassySally
Dec 11, 2010


Ben Davis posted:

And call your hospital or have your husband call and ask for the lactation consultant! Mine really helped when I was having issues and bawling during nursing.

I'll second this. Last weekend (our first nights home) I was having VERY similar issues with Ben being constantly hungry and not being able to hand express anything. I went to lactation on Monday and I was entirely calmed by the fact that they were certain I had enough production. My hospital has AMAZING lactation consultants- hopefully yours does, too. They have been lifesavers for me.

CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


My hospital does have really great lactation consultants, and they meet every Monday for a breast feeding support group, so I'll see if I can go to one tomorrow. If I can't, I have their number.

I'm just so worried that he isn't getting enough, or that I'm doing something wrong. Part of me wants to give up and go to formula, but I'm not willing to admit defeat yet. And so many people have drilled it into my head that formula = failure, which is ridiculous because I would never say that about anyone else, so I don't know why I would think that that would apply to me.

I'm definitely looking into eating more, too. I picked up some hummus and almonds while I was out today (I saw someone suggest it), and my husband picked up a pumpkin pie (my can't-resist comfort food). I'm drinking plenty of water, and just trying to remember to snack more often. I was able to pump about half of a bottle so far today, which is about what my son will eat after I breast feed him. So, I'm going to feed him and then my husband will give him what I pumped so I can take a nap. I try to sleep when he does, but every time he moves or makes a noise, I wake up. I'm at the point where I'm utterly exhausted and feel ready to cry at anything, which makes me feel even worse.

I guess the upside is that my supply has been increasing at least a little. I was able to pump a few ounces after his last feeding, which is a big improvement from how it's been the past week. I just have to be patient.

CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


Okay, I'm definitely going to the breast feeding support group tomorrow. The lactation consultants will be there, so I can speak to them face-to-face.

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

They might even weigh him before and after to get an idea of how much he's getting, so you can feel better!

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

CravingSolace posted:

I try to sleep when he does, but every time he moves or makes a noise, I wake up. I'm at the point where I'm utterly exhausted and feel ready to cry at anything, which makes me feel even worse.
I'm going to tell you something that I tell everyone: send someone out to the store for earplugs and use those suckers. Get the best ones the store has. It's worth it. You'll still hear if the baby screams--nothing cuts that out--but you won't hear all the snuffles and whines. Earplugs + white noise or a fan are a fantastic combination and absolutely necessary. It gets so much easier.

edit: even send someone out to Home Depot or some place like that for industrial earplugs, if you can. Whatever it takes to get yourself some sleep. It might take a few tries to be able to relax enough, but just remember that other people in the house can always wake you if the baby needs you.

Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 00:37 on Oct 8, 2012

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CravingSolace
Mar 3, 2012


Ben Davis posted:

I'm going to tell you something that I tell everyone: send someone out to the store for earplugs and use those suckers. Get the best ones the store has. It's worth it. You'll still hear if the baby screams--nothing cuts that out--but you won't hear all the snuffles and whines. Earplugs + white noise or a fan are a fantastic combination and absolutely necessary. It gets so much easier.

edit: even send someone out to Home Depot or some place like that for industrial earplugs, if you can. Whatever it takes to get yourself some sleep. It might take a few tries to be able to relax enough, but just remember that other people in the house can always wake you if the baby needs you.

The only problem is that the only other person in our household is my husband. And I love him to death and he's an AMAZING father, but he sleeps through everything. I asked him to watch the baby while I took a shower, and he said 'sure'. I put the baby down in the pack-and-play that we keep in the family room and went to take a shower. Took my shower, got out, and I could hear our son crying from my bathroom. Walked out and saw my husband sleeping on the couch. He didn't wake up for the crying at all, and it was pretty loud. I woke him up so I could finish getting dressed and he felt awful about it, but he's just a really heavy sleeper. So unless he's wide-awake while I nap, I worry about not being able to hear our son cry.

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