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Idonie
Jun 5, 2011


Banana Cat posted:

I'm almost 18 weeks along and both wrists have been KILLING me for the last week. At first I thought I was just sleeping in a weird position since just one wrist initially hurt, but now they're both really sore--more when I move them--from the top of my wrist to about halfway to my elbow.

This didn't happen to me until about 33 weeks, but I ended up having carpal tunnel in both my wrists due to water retention. The braces were a godsend, I couldn't have slept without them, so I definitely second that recommendation.

I did also have some trouble with weird sleep positions, so you might want to look into a pregnancy pillow or other things along those lines.

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Isis Q. Dylan
Feb 19, 2008

Don't wanna be your man, just wanna play with you.


Banana Cat posted:

I'm almost 18 weeks along and both wrists have been KILLING me for the last week. At first I thought I was just sleeping in a weird position since just one wrist initially hurt, but now they're both really sore--more when I move them--from the top of my wrist to about halfway to my elbow. I remember briefly seeing a section on "Pregnancy Carpel Tunnel Syndrome" in a library book, but I flipped past it since "Yeah yeah, doesn't sound like that'll happen to me!" :downs: Since I've sworn off Googling symptoms for a while due to the whole "EVERY SYMPTOM MEANS YOU ARE DYING RIGHT THIS MINUTE!" typical search results, can anyone else give me more info? I don't have another prenatal appointment until August, but if the pain gets worse I'll definitely contact my OB.

My wrists didn't bother me when I was pregnant, but I was studying to be a medical transcriptionist shortly after having Dexter and was reading up on the Finklestein maneuver to test for DeQuervains tenosynovitis. I tried it out and I hurt my wrist. Bad. It hurt from about a month post-partum until my son was 18 months old. It would come and go. They aren't lying when they say that your ligaments get totally hosed when you're pregnant. Plus the hormones your body creates that allow your ligaments to get loose and easily hurt can stay in your system so long after you've had your baby.

Janelle
Apr 5, 2004


peanut posted:

"Heat, (massage), rest, empty breast."
Do you have anyone who can squeeze it out for you? When I had it, Bug didn't like to nurse in the problem area because it was hard work to get the milk out. The nurses/LC at the hospital went at it for half an hour and unplugged the duct.
They also recommended nursing in a different position. I had to stop doing across-the-chest with Bug and change to the armpit "football" hold exclusively.
And of course, squeezing it out in a hot bath/shower.

We're practicing the sitting position now and I'm paranoid that it might not drain well enough and mastitis will come back ;; But we gotta get this down well for when she goes on an airplane for 11 hours!

So wonderfully, after 2 doses of antibiotic, 2 hot showers/massage, a night with the heating pad and him draining that side 3 times, the plugged duct cleared. I'm going to finish the antibiotics per doctor's orders, but am happy and pain free. Thanks for the info. I was afraid it was last awhile, and am pleasantly surprised it was only bad for a couple days.

Twatty Seahag
Dec 30, 2007


Isis Q. Dylan posted:

My wrists didn't bother me when I was pregnant, but I was studying to be a medical transcriptionist shortly after having Dexter and was reading up on the Finklestein maneuver to test for DeQuervains tenosynovitis. I tried it out and I hurt my wrist. Bad. It hurt from about a month post-partum until my son was 18 months old. It would come and go. They aren't lying when they say that your ligaments get totally hosed when you're pregnant. Plus the hormones your body creates that allow your ligaments to get loose and easily hurt can stay in your system so long after you've had your baby.

Case in point: I gave birth in January and in late April started hurting myself. It started with hyper-extending my wrist and needing to be in a brace for a week. I thought I broke it somehow because I heard a snap but it was my ligaments snapping across my wristbone :gonk:.

At the end of May I tried to start running again and hurt both knees to the point of having to take a week off work and being on crutches. I could literally not walk. I feel better now after a cortisone shot to each knee and some PT. The weirdest part was getting these random shooting pains in my knees whenever my milk would let down.

Pregnancy just does bizarre poo poo to your body.

starshine
Nov 26, 2007


sheri posted:

I have a friend who is about 8 months pregnant with her first child. Her and her husband are very intent on doing things naturally, which I find great. My only concern is that they are planning a home birth. I know some (lots of?) people here have had home births, and I have nothing against them. My reason for concern here is that this is her first child and no one really knows what the delivery will be like being that she hasn't been through one before. I'm not going to try to talk her into or out of any decision, but is there any advice or anything I can offer them to make sure both mom and baby are healthy?

The advice I'd give you would be to trust in your friend and her midwife. Your concern here should probably be more focused on educating yourself about home birth than on trying to do anything for your friend. I just had my first child at home a couple of months ago, and anything negative that my friends and family said to me was just irritating. People make a lot of assumptions about the relative safety of home vs. hospital births without doing any research.

If you wanted to do something nice, you could pick her up a birthing ball - I'm average height and used a 65cm one during late pregnancy and early labor. You could also offer yourself to prepare a meal for your friends if you're into that... it would have been awesome to call a friend the day I went into labor and have a meal delivered for myself/my husband/my midwives after my baby was born.

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.




I think the common misconception a lot of people associate with homebirths is that they're all :nws:unassisted homebirths:nws: which is definitely not the case. Every person I know who has had a homebirth has had a home birth with a medical professional present.

That link is only :nws: cause of the dangly tits. Not due to the content of the article.

CommanderApaul
Aug 30, 2003

It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.


My wife and I have a bit of a weird situation. We're due the first week of Dec with our second child after a 9 week miscarriage from an "oops" pregnancy in January, and we're getting a good deal of pushback from some of our family about our decision to not find out what we're having, and we're having a really hard time explaining the reason why to anyone outside immediate family (our parents, essentially).

My wife had a really difficult first pregnancy. She has PTSD from being assaulted when she was very young, and has been on SSRIs since she was a teenager to help cope. She staunchly refused to be on medication while she was pregnant (and I can see her point, if anything was wrong with the baby she'd blame herself), and we worked with her psychiatrist, the OB and our midwife on a plan of care for dealing with any problems, and for the most part it worked really well. Due to the added stress, getting pre-eclampsia, and being a very small woman to begin with, we had several ultrasounds to make sure things were progressing OK, and got told "it's a girl" during at least 3 of them, possibly 4. Day of arrives, and Andrew Jr pops out.

My wife did not take this well, ended up with really bad PPD over it, and for the first couple years would have crying spells that derive into some form of "What happened to my little Maggie?"

So, queue current pregnancy. We are once again off of the SSRIs (although she was on Cymbalta and Wellbutrin this time, compared to Effexor and something else last time, and it's going much, much better) and the plan of care is again going well, actually better than last time because I know what to expect a little better and have been reacting to her in a much more supportive manner than last time. But we had a serious conversation between ourselves and also with her psychiatrist and OB/midwife group and decided that due to the PPD from last pregnancy and that we still have 18+ months of girls clothes in sealed bags in the attic (along with all of AJ's stuff), that it would be better for my wife's mental health if we didn't find out.

The problem is that my wife is an intensely private person about her mental health issues (and would probably kick my rear end for posting this). Our immediate family knows and supports our decision, and the older population of our families are both supportive of this without question, mostly from a "that's how we did it when we had kids" perspective on childbirth. But we're getting some pushback from friends and family who want us to find out, seemingly more out of a want to shower us with gender-appropriate gifts and knitted/crocheted blankets and the like, and we don't really want to be rude and say, essentially, "gently caress off, we're not finding out, deal with it," but my wife isn't comfortable discussing our reasoning behind it with them.

Bit of an info dump, but any suggestions?

sheri
Dec 30, 2002



starshine posted:

The advice I'd give you would be to trust in your friend and her midwife. Your concern here should probably be more focused on educating yourself about home birth than on trying to do anything for your friend. I just had my first child at home a couple of months ago, and anything negative that my friends and family said to me was just irritating. People make a lot of assumptions about the relative safety of home vs. hospital births without doing any research.

If you wanted to do something nice, you could pick her up a birthing ball - I'm average height and used a 65cm one during late pregnancy and early labor. You could also offer yourself to prepare a meal for your friends if you're into that... it would have been awesome to call a friend the day I went into labor and have a meal delivered for myself/my husband/my midwives after my baby was born.

I hope I didn't come across as thinking home births were unsafe. I have done research into them (but not a lot as I am not planning on having children for a couple years) and I for whatever reason misremembered some things-- I thought home births were recommended only for 2nd+ pregnancies.

But yeah, I have been nothing but supportive of her so far, and her pregnancy has been super uneventful and smooth. Thanks for the suggestion on the ball/meal. Both are good ideas. :)

foxatee
Feb 27, 2010

That foxatee is always making a Piggles out of herself.


Problem! I'd post pictures to show exactly how bad this has gotten, but I'm posting from my phone. Whatever, my problem is Amelia has started sucking on my arms. We've tried giving her a pacifier, but she refuses it after a few seconds. Is she teething already? She's only 2+ months! What can I do?!

Randomity
Feb 25, 2007

Careful what you wish,
You may regret it!


foxatee posted:

Problem! I'd post pictures to show exactly how bad this has gotten, but I'm posting from my phone. Whatever, my problem is Amelia has started sucking on my arms. We've tried giving her a pacifier, but she refuses it after a few seconds. Is she teething already? She's only 2+ months! What can I do?!

Are your arms covered in hickeys?

FretforyourLatte
Sep 15, 2010

Put you in my oven!


CommanderApaul posted:

My wife and I have a bit of a weird situation. We're due the first week of Dec with our second child after a 9 week miscarriage from an "oops" pregnancy in January, and we're getting a good deal of pushback from some of our family about our decision to not find out what we're having, and we're having a really hard time explaining the reason why to anyone outside immediate family (our parents, essentially).

My wife had a really difficult first pregnancy. She has PTSD from being assaulted when she was very young, and has been on SSRIs since she was a teenager to help cope. She staunchly refused to be on medication while she was pregnant (and I can see her point, if anything was wrong with the baby she'd blame herself), and we worked with her psychiatrist, the OB and our midwife on a plan of care for dealing with any problems, and for the most part it worked really well. Due to the added stress, getting pre-eclampsia, and being a very small woman to begin with, we had several ultrasounds to make sure things were progressing OK, and got told "it's a girl" during at least 3 of them, possibly 4. Day of arrives, and Andrew Jr pops out.

My wife did not take this well, ended up with really bad PPD over it, and for the first couple years would have crying spells that derive into some form of "What happened to my little Maggie?"

So, queue current pregnancy. We are once again off of the SSRIs (although she was on Cymbalta and Wellbutrin this time, compared to Effexor and something else last time, and it's going much, much better) and the plan of care is again going well, actually better than last time because I know what to expect a little better and have been reacting to her in a much more supportive manner than last time. But we had a serious conversation between ourselves and also with her psychiatrist and OB/midwife group and decided that due to the PPD from last pregnancy and that we still have 18+ months of girls clothes in sealed bags in the attic (along with all of AJ's stuff), that it would be better for my wife's mental health if we didn't find out.

The problem is that my wife is an intensely private person about her mental health issues (and would probably kick my rear end for posting this). Our immediate family knows and supports our decision, and the older population of our families are both supportive of this without question, mostly from a "that's how we did it when we had kids" perspective on childbirth. But we're getting some pushback from friends and family who want us to find out, seemingly more out of a want to shower us with gender-appropriate gifts and knitted/crocheted blankets and the like, and we don't really want to be rude and say, essentially, "gently caress off, we're not finding out, deal with it," but my wife isn't comfortable discussing our reasoning behind it with them.

Bit of an info dump, but any suggestions?

Just saying that you want to be surprised isn't a good enough reason? Everybody likes surprises!

foxatee
Feb 27, 2010

That foxatee is always making a Piggles out of herself.


Randomity posted:

Are your arms covered in hickeys?

Good lord, yes! They hurt. :(

opie
Nov 28, 2000
Check out my TFLC Excuse Log!

CommanderApaul posted:

But we're getting some pushback from friends and family who want us to find out, seemingly more out of a want to shower us with gender-appropriate gifts and knitted/crocheted blankets and the like, and we don't really want to be rude and say, essentially, "gently caress off, we're not finding out, deal with it," but my wife isn't comfortable discussing our reasoning behind it with them.

Bit of an info dump, but any suggestions?
I didn't find out with either of my pregnancies, and no one gave\gives a crap. The first one was nice because we got a lot of gender-neutral stuff that we can use for this next kid, not that it would really be a big deal either way. But I don't see why you can't just say you want to be surprised. That's what I tell people. Actually it's my husband who wants to be surprised, not me. But I go along with it because I'm a team player. If I'm feeling really chatty then I'll suggest that my husband really wants a boy and doesn't want to be disappointed before the big day.

CommanderApaul
Aug 30, 2003

It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.


FretforyourLatte posted:

Just saying that you want to be surprised isn't a good enough reason? Everybody likes surprises!

Saying we want to be surprised worked for the majority of both sides of the family that are unfamiliar with our previous situation.

There's a handful of people, mainly my wife's sister (who does know about the situation and is being a bitch, but that's a whole other story) and a couple of my aunts who knit like crazy, who are being fairly pushy about it, on the "how am I supposed to know what color blanket to make" type of whining. It's just getting drat annoying and it got brought up at my grandfather's funeral two weeks ago and again at the luncheon after his burial this past friday. We don't want to be rude, but at this point it's looking like we'll have to be.

As for my wife's sister, I'm of the opinion that she can go gently caress herself after she flat out told my wife when she miscarried and called her up for some support, "I don't see why you're so upset, you didn't seem all that happy to be pregnant when you told us at Christmas."

fosborb
Dec 15, 2006



Chronic Good Poster

CommanderApaul posted:

As for my wife's sister, I'm of the opinion that she can go gently caress herself after she flat out told my wife when she miscarried and called her up for some support, "I don't see why you're so upset, you didn't seem all that happy to be pregnant when you told us at Christmas."

Jesus gently caress.

We're starting to get some push on the gender thing from both sides and it's making a very good case against ever sharing any plans with anyone. If people can't be supportive this early on, like hell we're going to share name ideas or any really big decisions.

Tatiana
Jan 29, 2001
Forum Veteran

Tell them that you would be happy to wait until after the birth for any shower presents if they're concerned.

I would play it off lightly like "Hey, we found out last time, and it was wrong, so we're just not gonna bother!"

Or tell them that you would want cream or yellow anyway over any gender specific colors.

Your family isn't aware of how insensitive their being, especially if your wife is a private person, so I would try my best to keep it light and not make a big deal about it.

We didn't find out either and people drove us bananas asking us. Guess what, as SOON as our daughter was born, our families ran out and bought us a bunch of pink poo poo anyway. I would tell my mom "You will have a lifetime to buy the baby clothes, and he or she can't wear them in the womb." We also chose not to share name ideas.

There was another poster here who was also expecting a girl and came home with a boy...I can't imagine the surprise.
I will say that (for me) finding out the sex when she came out was a great experience.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007




My brother wanted to be surprised, and never shared any name ideas. People were fine with that. As suggested above, if people demand to know which color they need to buy stuff in, well, frogs are cool for girls too! Yellow, Red, Light Blue, Yellow-green Rainbow, Polka Dots, Purple, Cream/Brown... all of those are gender-neutral and will look fabulous with any baby.

Chicken McNobody
Aug 7, 2009


CommanderApaul posted:

There's a handful of people, mainly my wife's sister (who does know about the situation and is being a bitch, but that's a whole other story) and a couple of my aunts who knit like crazy, who are being fairly pushy about it, on the "how am I supposed to know what color blanket to make" type of whining. It's just getting drat annoying and it got brought up at my grandfather's funeral two weeks ago and again at the luncheon after his burial this past friday. We don't want to be rude, but at this point it's looking like we'll have to be.

There are other colors beside blue and pink. Tell 'em to make a green blanket or something. There's no call for them to be that bitchy about it. Hell, half the crap I've seen in the stores for babies is green now.

CommanderApaul posted:

As for my wife's sister, I'm of the opinion that she can go gently caress herself after she flat out told my wife when she miscarried and called her up for some support, "I don't see why you're so upset, you didn't seem all that happy to be pregnant when you told us at Christmas."

Oh I know you didn't, bitch! :nyd:

It's been said in this thread before, but as the person supporting the person having the baby, one of your top jobs is to be an rear end in a top hat. Don't feel bad about telling all these people to go gently caress themselves with a railroad spike--your first concern is for your wife's wellbeing, not theirs. I have the sadbrains too and I am very grateful to have a partner who is happy to be the rear end in a top hat if I need him to be (not that I anticipate needing that, but it's nice to know the potential is there). It's your baby, bottom line, not theirs, and if you don't want to find out the sex it is zero percent of their business. If they bitch about not being "able" to buy it things, gently caress 'em, the kid doesn't need any more stuff anyway.

Jesus, people can be lovely. I'm sorry you guys are having to deal with that.

FretforyourLatte
Sep 15, 2010

Put you in my oven!


Chicken McNobody posted:

It's your baby, bottom line, not theirs, and if you don't want to find out the sex it is zero percent of their business. If they bitch about not being "able" to buy it things, gently caress 'em, the kid doesn't need any more stuff anyway.

Jesus, people can be lovely. I'm sorry you guys are having to deal with that.

Amen to that, you could also point out that you have plenty of baby supplies of both genders due to the mix-up last time so there's no need for people to rush out and buy you things anyway.

Your wife is a saint for not punching her sister in the face for that comment. I'm getting all riled up about it now and it wasn't even said to me. How DARE she.

LuckyDaemon
Jan 14, 2006

Lower your standards.
This means dating fat girls because you can't do better.


Hello thread--haven't posted here for 5 weeks because I haven't had two hands free to type!

I realize that every baby is different, and there is no way to predict anything at all whatsoever, but that said...when will my 5 week old sleep for longer at night? 2 hours is rare, it's more like a 1-1.5 hours as the longest stretch most nights. He nurses when he wakes up. During the day, he can go for 3-3.5 hours between nursings, but it's usually 2.5 hours.

He's currently in a sidecar bassinet because I was enticed by the roll over, nurse him, plop him back down all half asleep, and all the sources that say co-sleeping results in more sleep for mom and baby--but he needs to be burped for 15-20 minutes and changed which wakes him up, and soothed to sleep--and if we lay him down too soon he spits up despite being burped. The whole thing takes about an hour or more. Plus he's a noisy sleeper anyway. And, I tried nursing lying down but milk comes out of his nose and he hates that.

My husband wants to put him in another room with a baby monitor, but I'm scared to--I know roomsharing is recommended to help reduce the risk of SIDS and I like to be able to see him and make sure he's okay :ohdear: But he might be right, because on nights that my husband takes over (staying in the living room and just bringing him in for me to nurse), he sleeps a bit longer. Like being next to me is too stimulating/makes him hungry more often? Is this possible? I thought babies slept better next to their mommies.

I know I should just hang in there, but I'd love any insight. He was 8 lbs 2 oz at his 4 week appointment (gained 3 lbs since leaving the hospital!) so I'm definitely making enough milk!

Here's a picture of him, all chin and cheeks:

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007



CommanderApaul posted:

But we're getting some pushback from friends and family who want us to find out, seemingly more out of a want to shower us with gender-appropriate gifts and knitted/crocheted blankets and the like, and we don't really want to be rude and say, essentially, "gently caress off, we're not finding out, deal with it," but my wife isn't comfortable discussing our reasoning behind it with them.

"We need to know the gender so we can buy stuff for the baby!" is the stupidest excuse ever. I'm only 18 weeks along and don't know the gender yet, and my bedroom is already drowning in gender-neutral onesies that people just couldn't help buying the moment they found out I was pregnant. We plan to find out the gender, but I'm reconsidering telling people because I don't want to be flooded with princess crap if it's a girl or dump trucks and sailboats if it's a boy (plus I already have SO MANY baby clothes :psyduck:). If you don't want to tell anyone the gender, that is totally your business and people need to respect that. You don't need to tell anyone the reason, either, just that you're not revealing the gender, and that's that.

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011


CommanderApaul posted:

There's a handful of people, mainly my wife's sister (who does know about the situation and is being a bitch, but that's a whole other story) and a couple of my aunts who knit like crazy, who are being fairly pushy about it, on the "how am I supposed to know what color blanket to make" type of whining. It's just getting drat annoying and it got brought up at my grandfather's funeral two weeks ago and again at the luncheon after his burial this past friday. We don't want to be rude, but at this point it's looking like we'll have to be.

I believe that it isn't rude to set a boundary and stick to the boundary, even if it makes other people uncomfortable or unhappy. Lots of people don't agree, but seriously, if these people aren't willing to take no for an answer about something like this, are they going to actually hear & respect anything else you have to say?

You don't need an excuse. You don't need an explanation. You don't need to justify or validate your position, because if these people won't hear you now, they aren't going to hear you if you explain; they're just going to pick apart your explanation in an attempt to get what they want. If you give them anything to fasten onto, they'll think that if they just figure out the right buttons to push they'll change your minds.

So: don't engage. Be a broken record (man that's a dated metaphor nowadays, isn't it?) and keep setting the boundary. "We aren't going to find out." "Well, how am I supposed to know what colour to pick?" "We're not going to find out." If you really think they're well-meaning, add in, "And it's making me very uncomfortable that you keep asking." If they mean well, they won't want to make you uncomfortable and they'll back off; if they're pushing some agenda of their own they might try to escalate and then you can just go back to, "We're not going to find out."

CommanderApaul posted:

As for my wife's sister, I'm of the opinion that she can go gently caress herself after she flat out told my wife when she miscarried and called her up for some support, "I don't see why you're so upset, you didn't seem all that happy to be pregnant when you told us at Christmas."

I share your opinion 100%.

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


I remember seeing book recommendations earlier in the thread but I don't know how far back to look.

What are some good books I can get for my husband to help him relate and be prepared for everything?

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011


LuckyDaemon posted:

I realize that every baby is different, and there is no way to predict anything at all whatsoever, but that said...when will my 5 week old sleep for longer at night? 2 hours is rare, it's more like a 1-1.5 hours as the longest stretch most nights. He nurses when he wakes up. During the day, he can go for 3-3.5 hours between nursings, but it's usually 2.5 hours.

Even though every baby is different, there are actual biological patterns to sleep development, and some amount of science has been done about them. Six weeks from the due date (so add on weeks if your baby was early) the sleep pattern starts to become organised, the brain sorts out day sleep vs. night sleep, and the baby starts to figure out how to do a 4-6 hour sleep segment *at night*. So you've got about a week to go, maybe more if the baby was early, and there is of course individual variation.

LuckyDaemon posted:

he needs to be burped for 15-20 minutes and changed which wakes him up, and soothed to sleep--and if we lay him down too soon he spits up despite being burped.

Are you changing him after he nurses? If so, can you change him when he wakes up, and then nurse him down, burp him and let him go back to sleep? It might still take an hour, but you won't have the trouble with waking him back up, and he might be soothed enough from the nursing/burping to just go off without extra soothing.

LuckyDaemon posted:

Like being next to me is too stimulating/makes him hungry more often? Is this possible? I thought babies slept better next to their mommies.

Honestly, it sounds to me like he just doesn't have his day/night sleep organised yet. I know 'just hang in there' can be sort of frustrating, but this really is something which ought to sort itself out with age, and if it doesn't then you can start problem-solving to see if there's something else going on that's keeping him from consolidating his night sleep. (A topic on which I could go on at great length but I'm restraining myself because, hey, it isn't relevant yet.)

I am a HUGE fan of Marc Weissbluth's _Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child_ because it's the only sleep book I've found that is based on actual science, with charts and graphs and cited studies of significant numbers of kids and the whole nine yards. He's a pretty bad writer, so the book can be crazy-making when you're sleep deprived, but it's worth reading the first chapter & the chapter appropriate for the age of your baby so you're informed about how sleep works in the brain & can take advantage of it.

And he's adorable!

Brennanite
Feb 14, 2009


Spoilering this for the squeamish: This morning my left nipple really hurt. When I lifted it slightly to examine it, a nasty pus-like liquid gushed out. Now, it still hurts, but there are no other signs of inflammation. Google suggests a clogged duct, does this sound right to you ladies? Also, the biggest treatment seems to be nursing, but my little punk isn't even born yet! Any other ideas to clear this up?

Janelle
Apr 5, 2004


Get to your ob. That was the first question my ob asked when I called for my mastitis. You need antibiotics to clear it up. She might recommend a breast pump. Sorry for your pain. :( That crap hurts.

Hot compresses and warm showers helped me a great deal.

Bright Lights On
Aug 25, 2005

The Fattest Bridesmaid of them All


Awesome Kristin posted:

I remember seeing book recommendations earlier in the thread but I don't know how far back to look.

What are some good books I can get for my husband to help him relate and be prepared for everything?

Seconding this request! My boyfriend is having a hard time calming down about money and "being ready" to handle it. I've searched for reading material aimed at that situation, but nothing so far.

I guess I'll also update you all on what's going on with me. I posted a couple days about about taking tests that came out positive. Well, the doctor has confirmed and I'm in my fifth week!

I'm finally excited about it, no longer worried. Just upset that the daddy is still so nervous and upset about it.

EDD is Feb 28, 2012. Leap baby!

chknflvrdramen
Sep 11, 2007
Making the world a better place... with cookies!

Re: people being pushy about finding out the gender/anything else: You can tack on an "Our decision is final and it's not open for discussion. Let's talk about something else." if just repeating that you're not finding out isn't enough.

limegrnxj
Apr 24, 2004


I'm at 14 weeks and had an ultrasound today. The timing is weird, too early to tell much beyond "there's a baby there". But the tech spent 20 minutes pushing and prodding and finally declared "I guess we'll call it a boy". So I guess I'm having a boy. I'm not entirely convinced she is right and will actually start telling people after the 20 week one, where hopefully she will be more confident.

As I've been telling people I'm pregnant, I've had several people ask if I want a boy or girl and I honestly didn't think I cared. I feel like I've had experience with both and both have their ups and downs. But I felt oddly disappointed when she said boy. So I guess in my heart, I was rooting for a girl. I just feel way more confused about it than I expected to. I thought I didn't care and would be equally excited about either. Maybe it's because it's so much earlier than I expected to find out, maybe I did want a girl, maybe it's because I don't feel like it's really certain. Anybody else feel a little off when they found out?

Roxy Rouge
Oct 27, 2009


I was convinced I was having a girl. Everyone around me fed into my belief, telling me that the mom always knows. When I went into the ultrasound and was told "its a boy" my only reaction was "its a who?" I was more stunned than disappointed if that makes sense? I had never pictured in my mind having a son and had a tough time reconciling the visions of being a mom and the little bub being a boy rather than a girl. The fantastic thing is that when he got here I realized that I could never want anything other than my little boy. Not a girl, not a different little boy. My little boy. You will love him more than you can imagine, I promise. It's normal and ok to have a little disappointment at first. When you look into that little face for the first and the hundreth time though, you will wonder what you worried about. Congrats!

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011


limegrnxj posted:

As I've been telling people I'm pregnant, I've had several people ask if I want a boy or girl and I honestly didn't think I cared. I feel like I've had experience with both and both have their ups and downs. But I felt oddly disappointed when she said boy. So I guess in my heart, I was rooting for a girl. I just feel way more confused about it than I expected to. I thought I didn't care and would be equally excited about either. Maybe it's because it's so much earlier than I expected to find out, maybe I did want a girl, maybe it's because I don't feel like it's really certain. Anybody else feel a little off when they found out?

I don't know why, but I really REALLY wanted a boy. I had a bunch of dreams when we were trying to get pregnant, and some more early on in the pregnancy, and they were always dreams about a little toddler boy getting into things and demanding pancakes and stuff. So when we found out we were having a girl I definitely felt off; not exactly disappointed because a) I knew people who got told 'definitely girl definitely girl' at every US and still ended up with a boy, and b) I was so psyched & relieved that she had all her organs and stuff (this was the really long US they do to make sure the development is going normally) that it mitigated a lot of the disappointment.

But yah, I do know what you mean, and it's harder when you're not really sure. My baby turned out to be a girl, and she is incredibly awesome (and not a baby now, almost 21 months) and I can't imagine anymore wishing she'd been a boy. So just sit with it, let it be, and try not to judge yourself.

The Young Marge
Jul 19, 2006

but no one can talk to a horse, of course.

Roxy Rouge posted:

I was convinced I was having a girl. Everyone around me fed into my belief, telling me that the mom always knows.

Haha, I got that too. "Mom always knows" was the WORST. My internal reaction was "WTF, idiot? No, I don't! How the hell could I possibly know?" What I would actually do was smile and say "we'll see!" All the superstition about guessing the gender really got to me. No, the shape of my belly makes no difference, no amount of non-scientific bullshit gender tests will tell anyone anything, the heart rate means nothing, whatever I'm craving doesn't have a drat thing to do with it. Shut the gently caress up until I go get my ultrasound at 20 weeks.

We're having a boy. :) I sort of thought maybe it was a girl, but I'm only used to girl babies, so the thought of a boy was a little shocking. It only took me a couple of days to get used to the idea of a boy, though.

Isis Q. Dylan
Feb 19, 2008

Don't wanna be your man, just wanna play with you.


CommanderApaul posted:

Saying we want to be surprised worked for the majority of both sides of the family that are unfamiliar with our previous situation.

There's a handful of people, mainly my wife's sister (who does know about the situation and is being a bitch, but that's a whole other story) and a couple of my aunts who knit like crazy, who are being fairly pushy about it, on the "how am I supposed to know what color blanket to make" type of whining. It's just getting drat annoying and it got brought up at my grandfather's funeral two weeks ago and again at the luncheon after his burial this past friday. We don't want to be rude, but at this point it's looking like we'll have to be.

As for my wife's sister, I'm of the opinion that she can go gently caress herself after she flat out told my wife when she miscarried and called her up for some support, "I don't see why you're so upset, you didn't seem all that happy to be pregnant when you told us at Christmas."

I kind of skimmed, so I'm sorry if anyone else mentioned this idea. Why not just tell them that the baby wouldn't cooperate so you don't know, and aren't getting any more ultrasounds (Or tell them the baby was shy and not showing parts every time you go for an ultrasound)

Brennanite
Feb 14, 2009


Janelle posted:

Get to your ob. That was the first question my ob asked when I called for my mastitis. You need antibiotics to clear it up. She might recommend a breast pump. Sorry for your pain. :( That crap hurts.

Hot compresses and warm showers helped me a great deal.

Awesome. :suicide: I was just at the doctor's last Friday; why couldn't this have happened then? The hot shower and compress were surprisingly helpful though; thanks for the tip.

limegrnxj
Apr 24, 2004


Thanks for the responses, it's nice to hear that other people took a few days to get used to the idea of THE BABY (genderless) actually being a boy or girl.

Mastitis sounds horrible, hope it clears up quickly!

Awesome Kristin
May 9, 2008

yum yum yum


So I told immediate family about the pregnancy but was going to wait until at least my first dr visit to post it on facebook and tell friends.

Somehow it got to a friend who congratulated me on facebook. Maybe people will think she's talking about my previous update about getting a Tempurpedic bed..... But probably not.

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist

Just delete her congratulations?

opie
Nov 28, 2000
Check out my TFLC Excuse Log!

I was convinced I was having a boy the whole time and really just couldn't imagine having a girl, and didn't find out she was a girl until birth. I was very surprised, but pretty drugged up and not caring much. My husband was really disappointed I think. But after a while we couldn't imagine having anything else.

Although this time if I don't have a boy my husband might not take it so well. We don't even have a girl named picked out. It seems like the ones I like have already been taken by cousins or coworkers, or they're in the top 10 of popular baby names. As a Jennifer born in the 70s, I'm a little sensitive to that.

My sister-in-law posted her positive test stick on facebook the day she found out she was pregnant. A few days later she posted that she's already showing. Personally I would tell my parents right away and maybe some strangers on the internet, but not everyone else I know. I'm also a little ticked that I have to share this pregnancy with her just like the last, even though it's a dumb thing to be mad about I suppose. Maybe it's because my brother always insists that (more) kids are not in their future, and then when I get knocked up they do.

Maybe if I have another girl I should steal the name they picked. It's the "Jennifer" of this decade though.

Bright Lights On
Aug 25, 2005

The Fattest Bridesmaid of them All


Is anyone else pregnant with endometriosis?

I'm nearing week 6 and have had moderately severe to mild cramping since week 4. Everything I've read says that's just part of the territory, and I shouldn't worry too much about it. Some anecdotal accounts say the cramping lasted until the 2nd trimester, others claim they had it the entire pregnancy.

Could anyone share their endometriosis/cramping experiences? I'm really hoping there's an end in sight here. I've already had to leave work early twice in the last two weeks due to it.

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Doom Catcher
Sep 11, 2001

Sometimes, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!


I do not have endo, however my mom did and experienced pretty bad cramping during her last pregnancy to the point she pulled herself put of work the last two trimesters. On the other hand, my aunt also has endo and pregnancy was the only time in her entire life that she didn't have cramping and pain so I guess as with everything in pregnancy ymmv.

I hit 10 weeks tomorrow and for the past 5, I have a bit of cramping for like a day then all is well. I've been learning ( this is my first kiddo ) that for as many pregnant women there are that many different experiences. Its crazy!

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