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MoCookies
Apr 22, 2005



yawnie posted:

Like everyone else has said, just be as supportive as you can. She's going to be feeling her entire body change very suddenly, and she can't even cope with changes the way she normally would because her hormones will be changing her emotional responses and she may not even be aware of it. It goes a long way just to be sympathetic to those changes and tell her you know it's hard and that you're there for her. Be involved. Offer foot rubs. Don't be upset if she needs you to get her a watermelon at 3am. Offer to help out around the house more. Tell her she looks beautiful often, because she's going to feel fat and frumpy.

THIS. So much.

More advice: Tell her she's gorgeous and awesome everyday. Tell her that her rear end looks great in her maternity jeans. Sex her up enthusiastically. Leave the room to fart while she's in the nauseated/sensitive to smells stage. Realize that some crazy hormonal poo poo is happening in her brain, and there's nothing she can do about it.

I know that the intensity of my reaction is totally nuts, even as I'm having it. I should add that my normal self is really even-keeled and low-key, but around week 6 of pregnancy, the crazy showed up. As an example, here's a conversation I might have with myself over the course of 5 mintues:

"Oh, there's that pregnancy book. I'm slightly annoyed that <husband> still hasn't read it, since I asked him a week ago."
-->
"God drat it! I'm going to be raising this kid all by myself, and dealing with a loving lazy man-child for a husband! Argh!"
-->
Sobbing + "I have no idea what I'm doing. He has no idea what he's doing. I'm a terrible parent already. I'm never going to sleep again, and I'm going to be a frumpy, fat, uncool person forever, and my kid will be a horrible person because of me."
--->
"Hmmm, I'm hungry. I should probably eat something healthy, like those nectarines, but those oreos and some milk would be really good. Okay - nectarines and milk first, and then oreos later if I'm still hungry. I'm awesome at being pregnant."

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Brennanite
Feb 14, 2009


dreamcatcherkwe posted:

People will tell you a long list of things that "worked" for them but who knows if they were going to have the baby that day anyway. Are you overdue?

Fresh pineapple is supposed to do it. Spicy foods. Sex. Walking. Waiting works for sure ;)

My first was 10 days late.
My second was 4 days late.
My third was 16 days late.

Hours away from being overdue. I like pineapple and spicy foods, so I'll start there. It will make me happy if nothing else. Sex is (sadly) out, and walking is near impossible for me. Not because of my back/hips, but my lower abs. Go figure.

Also, 16 days?!! You have to fight for anything over 41 weeks and I've never heard of anyone going over 42. You must have had a very, very chill doctor/midwife.

Edit: MoCookies :argh:. Now all I want Oreos and I have no way of getting them. I hope you're happy!

The Young Marge
Jul 19, 2006

but no one can talk to a horse, of course.

Re: DIY induction - do NOT drink castor oil. I just got back from a nice lunch meeting with my doula, who said she worked with someone who tried that, desperate to induce labor. And all that happened was a horrific 2-day bout of diarrhea. :gonk:

edit: Anyone else dealing with waaaaayyy too many baby clothes? My husband came home from work with two crammed-full bags from a coworker, and I have at least 3 other people giving us clothes. Obviously I'm extremely grateful - we won't have to buy any! But it's probably way too much for one baby to ever wear. Should I just go through it all and pull out the stuff I like most, keeping the rest as backup?

First batch of baby clothes (this is half my couch):


Hello I am a baby and I enjoy Canada:

The Young Marge fucked around with this message at 22:36 on Aug 25, 2011

FretforyourLatte
Sep 15, 2010

Put you in my oven!


The Young Marge posted:

Anyone else dealing with waaaaayyy too many baby clothes? My husband came home from work with two crammed-full bags from a coworker, and I have at least 3 other people giving us clothes. Obviously I'm extremely grateful - we won't have to buy any! But it's probably way too much for one baby to ever wear. Should I just go through it all and pull out the stuff I like most, keeping the rest as backup?

First batch of baby clothes (this is half my couch):


Hello I am a baby and I enjoy Canada:


^^Oh my god, that is adorable!

If you have room to store them and if you plan on having more kids, I would hang on to everything. I got an absurd amount of hand-me-downs with my daughter, some of which she never even got the chance to wear, as there were a lot of cold-weather things and she was born in late April. I kept it all stashed in the attic and I'm so glad I did, because now I have another girl on the way who's due in January and we are pretty much totally set on clothes. I'll wind up buying some new things just because they're so cute, I can't resist, but it is a huge relief to have a solid wardrobe already established for this kid. Digging through it all was so fun and now I have to get some Dreft so I can start organizing and washing it all.

On the other hand, if you're pretty sure you're done having babies after this one, maybe it would be better to pay it forward with the excess next time someone you know is pregnant.

Bahunter22
Jul 2, 2010


MoCookies posted:

THIS. So much.

More advice: Tell her she's gorgeous and awesome everyday. Tell her that her rear end looks great in her maternity jeans. Sex her up enthusiastically. Leave the room to fart while she's in the nauseated/sensitive to smells stage. Realize that some crazy hormonal poo poo is happening in her brain, and there's nothing she can do about it.

I know that the intensity of my reaction is totally nuts, even as I'm having it. I should add that my normal self is really even-keeled and low-key, but around week 6 of pregnancy, the crazy showed up. As an example, here's a conversation I might have with myself over the course of 5 mintues:

"Oh, there's that pregnancy book. I'm slightly annoyed that <husband> still hasn't read it, since I asked him a week ago."
-->
"God drat it! I'm going to be raising this kid all by myself, and dealing with a loving lazy man-child for a husband! Argh!"
-->
Sobbing + "I have no idea what I'm doing. He has no idea what he's doing. I'm a terrible parent already. I'm never going to sleep again, and I'm going to be a frumpy, fat, uncool person forever, and my kid will be a horrible person because of me."
--->
"Hmmm, I'm hungry. I should probably eat something healthy, like those nectarines, but those oreos and some milk would be really good. Okay - nectarines and milk first, and then oreos later if I'm still hungry. I'm awesome at being pregnant."

This is exactly what I went through and am going through now amplified x10, coming up on week 20. I will recommend that if she talks about the baby, probably not in your best interest to sigh/roll your eyes/groan/etc. as a response and then ask her what she wants. It wasn't pretty the one time it happened and when it did I didn't appreciate it at all. If she wants to tell you how big the baby is that week in relation to comparable snack food sizes, go with it. Also, she may seem crazy and you may spot it right away, but chances are she won't realize it at the time and everything she is spouting out of her mouth about why strawberry candies should always be in her socks which she will now keep stashed in her nightstand will make perfect sense to her while she's saying it. Don't worry, just hug and support.

Number19
May 14, 2003

HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH




Ways to tell your pregnant wife has entered the third trimester:

You come home and there's something sitting on the kitchen floor. She tells you "I just didn't want it enough to pick it up."

Three months to go :)

opie
Nov 28, 2000
Check out my TFLC Excuse Log!

We ended up with a ton of clothes, although they were all new courtesy of our mothers. I appreciated it most of the time, but then I'd feel bad when the kid never wore something, or when I wanted to buy something and realized it would just be a waste. It was the same with toys. I got to buy furniture and diapers and that's about it.

Since we had a second girl, we've decided to tell our moms that we already have too much stuff and we don't want them to buy anything else aside from one or two things for special occasions. My mom might respect this, but I think my mother-in-law will somehow be offended by it, since she seems to think that showing love is the same as buying stuff. I don't want the kids thinking things are disposable and grandma will replace everything. Plus, I would like to buy fun stuff every once in a while.

Low Percent Lunge
Jan 29, 2007





We've got a shitload of clothes courtesy of 3 cousins who were gifted summer clothes when they were all born at the start of winter. All new, never worn (not that it would bother us).

My wife also is wearing her sisters and our friends maternity gear.

VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog


We were handed down bins and bins and bins of clothes, along with dozens of bibs, tons of toys and random packs of diapers. It was insane, and I knew it was way too much stuff, even though everyone said I would need it all. I rotate maybe 5 outfits on the kid, and everything else just sits in the bins. I plan on having lots of kids, so maybe it will all get used? I doubt it, but I will eventually pay it forward.

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011


The Young Marge posted:

edit: Anyone else dealing with waaaaayyy too many baby clothes? My husband came home from work with two crammed-full bags from a coworker, and I have at least 3 other people giving us clothes. Obviously I'm extremely grateful - we won't have to buy any! But it's probably way too much for one baby to ever wear. Should I just go through it all and pull out the stuff I like most, keeping the rest as backup?

Unless you've had a lot of experience with little babies, I would wait and see what you actually use before really getting rid of anything. A lot of the clothes I liked most ended up being pretty impractical once I was actually trying to put them on/take them off at 3am. Also, you will probably be changing his/her clothes like 15 times a day to start with, unless you have awesome luck with the baby never spitting up (I did) and the diapers never overflowing (I didn't, oh I didn't), so you really need a LOT more than you think you're going to.

I also had huge piles of hand-me-downs and waited until my daughter outgrew each stage, then got rid of the ones I never used and kept the rest in case of additional baby.

fosborb
Dec 15, 2006



Chronic Good Poster

Dr. Octagon posted:

We really want to try cloth diapering, and I'm sort of confused/overwhelmed by all of the options out there. Can anyone point me in the direction of a good cloth diapering resource?

There used to be a great compiled guide in these threads about diapering. Does anyone have a link to it?

FretforyourLatte
Sep 15, 2010

Put you in my oven!


Idonie posted:

Unless you've had a lot of experience with little babies, I would wait and see what you actually use before really getting rid of anything. A lot of the clothes I liked most ended up being pretty impractical once I was actually trying to put them on/take them off at 3am. Also, you will probably be changing his/her clothes like 15 times a day to start with, unless you have awesome luck with the baby never spitting up (I did) and the diapers never overflowing (I didn't, oh I didn't), so you really need a LOT more than you think you're going to.

THIS, some of those little tiny newborn outfits just look so precious sitting there but are really completely ridiculous when you try to put them on the kid. Collared shirts never seem to lay right and make the baby look like a tiny bald clown or something, jeans on a newborn, oh how cute right? No. Forget it. And what sadistic rear end in a top hat thought up those newborn sleepers with all the buttons IN THE BACK?? Not even snaps, regular buttons, wtf. Tried those ones one time, never again. And when they're that little, nothing seems to fit right. So you want to take them to grandma's and finally find an outfit that looks cute, is clean, baby looks reasonably comfortable, weather appropriate, and you can change them easily and before you make it out the door (or worse, after) they spit up all over it and possibly you, too, or have the fabled Hot Mustard Explosion all over the car seat.

:allears: Ohhh somebody tell me why I'm doing this again? Hahaha.

sheri
Dec 30, 2002



fosborb posted:

There used to be a great compiled guide in these threads about diapering. Does anyone have a link to it?

It's in the third post of this thread.

The Young Marge
Jul 19, 2006

but no one can talk to a horse, of course.

Haha. I just wish more of the clothes were awesome instead of powder blue and covered in lame trucks and doggies. Like, I'm down with an easy-to-change zip-front onesie, but can it please have robots on it and not footballs? That's always the trouble with hand-me-downs and gifts, though.

Thanks for the reference to the cloth diapering guide; checked that out again. I feel like I've registered for way too much stuff (prefolds and small covers for when he's a newborn, then one-size diapers like Flips, Sunbabies and various fun-patterened ones of different brands for when he's bigger). But I bet nobody will get any of it since it's all on Amazon and internet shopping requires advance planning.

car dance
May 12, 2010

Ben is actually an escaped polar bear, posing as a human.

Unlikely because Polar Bears do not know how to speak.
Also it does not make any sense.

So I'm 14 weeks now and not feeling any morning sickness at all. Thanks to everyone who helped me before, ginger was amazing and I chewed a lot of mint gum.

My bump was really big up until Saturday morning. I don't know what happened, but I'm just wondering if it's possible that everything shifted around over the night? My stomach still definitely looks like a pregnant person, but it's nowhere near the size it was. (And no there was no issue with constipation or anything.)

I have my first real doctors appointment on Monday, so I'll ask there too, but I'm quite paranoid about stupid little things like this. Now that the morning sickness is gone and the bump isn't so protruding, I don't feel pregnant all the time which is kind of a weird (and welcomed) feeling.

Twatty Seahag
Dec 30, 2007


I looked more pregnant at 10 weeks than 14, it was all bloat. Totally normal! Your baby is still so tiny, and a lot of moms feel like they aren't pregnant anymore right at the start of the 2nd trimester.

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

Same thing for me! I'm back to being legit big now, but I remember even at 8 weeks, I looked huge in comparison to most people at that point, and it was all bloating and changed depending on what I'd eaten. I also freaked out until I put it together!

fosborb
Dec 15, 2006



Chronic Good Poster

sheri posted:

It's in the third post of this thread.

Awesome, thanks. I thought it was archived.

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

This post is probably going to make me sound a bit crazy. But do you think it's possible to have a phobia of breastfeeding? I've always been a bit grossed out by it, but now that I know it's something I'm going to have to do it terrifies me. I'm pretty chilled out about the labour, looking after my baby etc. But I can't even look at a photo of a baby latched on a boob without feeling sickness and dread.

I'm in the UK, and the NHS are really militant about getting women to breastfeed. I've been offered free classes, help breastfeeding when I'm on the hospital ward and there are drop-in clinics with lactation specialists. Yet all this support just makes me feel even greater pressure. I'm at the point where I'm finding it hard to enjoy my pregnancy and get excited about the baby, because it's like a big cloud looming over the horizon. Goonettes, how do I feel better about this? Did any of you manage to get over the fear of having a giant lamprey attached to your nipple?

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist

Netally, you might want to see if you can speak with a psychologist or counselor during pregnancy. It sounds to me like this issue is something you would need help working on if you are going to breastfeed (which, militant NHS or not, is still your choice at the end of the day).

MoCookies
Apr 22, 2005



netally posted:

This post is probably going to make me sound a bit crazy. But do you think it's possible to have a phobia of breastfeeding? I've always been a bit grossed out by it, but now that I know it's something I'm going to have to do it terrifies me. I'm pretty chilled out about the labour, looking after my baby etc. But I can't even look at a photo of a baby latched on a boob without feeling sickness and dread.

I'm in the UK, and the NHS are really militant about getting women to breastfeed. I've been offered free classes, help breastfeeding when I'm on the hospital ward and there are drop-in clinics with lactation specialists. Yet all this support just makes me feel even greater pressure. I'm at the point where I'm finding it hard to enjoy my pregnancy and get excited about the baby, because it's like a big cloud looming over the horizon. Goonettes, how do I feel better about this? Did any of you manage to get over the fear of having a giant lamprey attached to your nipple?

I agree with FITD and think that it would be good if you could talk this out with a professional therapist of some kind. You don't HAVE to breastfeed, no one can force you to do it, and millions of smart, healthy kids were raised on formula. Perhaps I'm reading too much into what you've written here, but whether or not you choose to do it, breastfeeding is a pretty normal human function, and to have that level of dread and anxiety just from thinking about it makes me wonder if there's actually something else that's really bothering you.

I'm curious though - does it gross you out to think about how you're already feeding your kid with your body during pregnancy, or is it specifically the nipple-boob-mouth aspect of breastfeeding that bugs you?

Chandrika
Aug 23, 2007


netally posted:

This post is probably going to make me sound a bit crazy. But do you think it's possible to have a phobia of breastfeeding? I've always been a bit grossed out by it, but now that I know it's something I'm going to have to do it terrifies me. I'm pretty chilled out about the labour, looking after my baby etc. But I can't even look at a photo of a baby latched on a boob without feeling sickness and dread.

I'm in the UK, and the NHS are really militant about getting women to breastfeed. I've been offered free classes, help breastfeeding when I'm on the hospital ward and there are drop-in clinics with lactation specialists. Yet all this support just makes me feel even greater pressure. I'm at the point where I'm finding it hard to enjoy my pregnancy and get excited about the baby, because it's like a big cloud looming over the horizon. Goonettes, how do I feel better about this? Did any of you manage to get over the fear of having a giant lamprey attached to your nipple?

The thought of breastfeeding scared me like ten times more than the idea of giving birth did. Maybe even more than that. I couldn't imagine having a baby suck on my nipple. Do you have sensitive nipples? I always did, but it wasn't a major concern in my life so I let it ride until I got pregnant. My daughter and I got off to a very rocky start breastfeeding, and it wasn't until months after I was exclusively pumping that we finally figured out I had Raynaud's. Getting a diagnosis, and realizing it was "a thing" made me a LOT less guilty about failing to maintain a nursing relationship. There are treatments for it (only while you're not pregnant or breastfeeding, sadly).

Even if your issue isn't really the same as mine, please consider expressing milk if you find you can't bring yourself to breastfeed. It's initially a little daunting, but my daughter is almost 2, and I am still pumping for her, so it can be done.

In addition to talking to a doctor, I'd recommend talking to a sympathetic lactation consultant before the birth, so you can talk about strategies, and what you'll do in the hospital (assuming that's where you'll deliver). If the first one you talk to sucks, keep trying.

Good luck! You are not alone.

VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog


netally, I breastfeed exclusively and I still think it's gross. We feed him a little bit of solids at 9 months-old, mostly table foods for dinner, but otherwise he's a boob-fed baby. I don't pump or anything, just boob. For me there's still a disconnect - when he's latched, I don't see the milk oozing from my body into his mouth, therefore the ick factor is reduced quite a bit for me. I have never expressed milk on purpose, just accidentally leaked a few times during the first few months and that was pretty gross.

So, if you ask me, your phobia sounds normal and reasonable but you can still breastfeed your kid. Good luck!

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Wow, thanks for all the kind words. It's hard for me to talk about this issue, but it's so encouraging to know that other women have gone through the same. And it's nice not to hear "you'll get over it" or "once the baby arrives you'll feel differently."

Fire In The Disco posted:

Netally, you might want to see if you can speak with a psychologist or counselor during pregnancy. It sounds to me like this issue is something you would need help working on if you are going to breastfeed (which, militant NHS or not, is still your choice at the end of the day).

Not a bad idea at all. I have had CBT in the past for general anxiety issues, but I will see if there's anything else my Doctor can refer me for.

MoCookies posted:

I'm curious though - does it gross you out to think about how you're already feeding your kid with your body during pregnancy, or is it specifically the nipple-boob-mouth aspect of breastfeeding that bugs you?

It's probably the boob/mouth thing. I probably have some issues with my breasts in general. They've always been large, and now they're sore, gigantic and uncomfortable all the time. I also hate getting them out in front of anyone, so going to classes would be pretty embarrassing. I have looked at things like nipple shields to try to minimize the weirdness, but for some reason people seem against them.

Chandrika posted:

Even if your issue isn't really the same as mine, please consider expressing milk if you find you can't bring yourself to breastfeed. It's initially a little daunting, but my daughter is almost 2, and I am still pumping for her, so it can be done.

In addition to talking to a doctor, I'd recommend talking to a sympathetic lactation consultant before the birth, so you can talk about strategies, and what you'll do in the hospital (assuming that's where you'll deliver). If the first one you talk to sucks, keep trying.

Good luck! You are not alone.

Thanks! I have thought about pumping, and it doesn't freak me out nearly as much, even if some of the pumps seriously look like something from a dairy farm. It would be a shame to miss out on the bonding, but it's certainly an option if I can't get over this. Plus, I think my husband likes the thought of being able to feed the baby too.

VorpalBunny posted:

netally, I breastfeed exclusively and I still think it's gross. We feed him a little bit of solids at 9 months-old, mostly table foods for dinner, but otherwise he's a boob-fed baby. I don't pump or anything, just boob. For me there's still a disconnect - when he's latched, I don't see the milk oozing from my body into his mouth, therefore the ick factor is reduced quite a bit for me. I have never expressed milk on purpose, just accidentally leaked a few times during the first few months and that was pretty gross.

So, if you ask me, your phobia sounds normal and reasonable but you can still breastfeed your kid. Good luck!

It's nice to hear that you got over your ick factor. And it's refreshing to hear that not all women find it a beautiful, profound experience. Congratulations on making it to 9 months!

Good_Vs_Evil
Sep 12, 2006



My wife just entered her third trimester and while she works from home and is self-employed and doesn't have to worry about taking time off from her job or notifying anyone, I don't have such luck.

So, guys (or ladies, you can answer for your guys):

How long did you take off of work? I'm mostly interested in U.S. men because I know European and Canadian systems offer you something like time off until your child hits puberty at half pay or something, but not so much in the U.S.. I know that I'm legally allowed to take 3 months off without being fired, but I'm curious what you guys did. Would you have liked to take more time off, or less, or was it the right amount?

Moms: What was the most helpful thing your guy did for you post-pregnancy?

I'm thinking that, barring a difficult pregnancy that requires special care and hoping the baby is healthy, the best things I can do are make sure that my wife can get some sleep, take care of things around the house, and run interference on family. Any other suggestions?

Thomase
Mar 18, 2009


Good_Vs_Evil posted:

I'm mostly interested in U.S. men because I know European and Canadian systems offer you something like time off until your child hits puberty at half pay or something, but not so much in the U.S.

I do have a co-worker that did take the three months off. He had a lot of side businesses he started billing through his wife and took maternity himself. I can't say for certain if men only get 3 months in Canada as well, but it sounds similar to what the states has. Puberty? Ha, that would be awesome.

As for the pregnancy the waiting is killing us. I had my sister who lives out in Alberta with my family come stay with my wife for a week or two while waiting on the baby to watch over her while I was at work. Boy was that a mistake! I would have thought a college student would understand that a pregnant women wouldn't have the energy to get up and go during the days.

Anyways, we're a couple days short on the due date, we'd love to go early, but why should we be so lucky? He is due on the 4th and we can't wait to see him.

VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog


My husband took 6 weeks off. We had the kid right before Thanksgiving, so he was already getting a few of those days off for the Holidays. He could have taken more, but he had just started that job a few months before and one of his co-workers took ONE DAY off for his child'd birth a few weeks before us. ONE DAY, for the delivery I presume. My husband felt a bit of pressure not to take the max, and 6 weeks was a pretty solid amount of time to bond with the kid and make sure my breastfeeding was going well and everything was ok.

My husband did run interference with the family, mostly with my own mother. He also took care of our dogs and cleaned as well as he could. But mostly he changed diapers and hung out with our son, which was awesome.

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007



Our kid is due around Thanksgiving, and my husband has about 3 weeks of paid leave saved up, so he's just planning to take time off from whenever our kid is born until the New Year (his workplace closes down for the last week or so of December every year anyway, so he luckily gets that extra week of paid leave regardless). Since I'm not going back to work after our kid is born, we can't afford to have him take off the three unpaid months he would get through the Family Leave and Medical Act. If there's a huge emergency or something he'd probably take the three months off, but otherwise I think what we are planning will work out fine (ask me again in a few months...)

Bahunter22
Jul 2, 2010


We had our 20 week scan today and it revealed we are having a little girl! Everything looked fine and the tech said everything she saw looked fine but I noticed she noted an "eccentric fetal cord" in the notes at the end. Anyone know what that's all about or has anyone had one? I'm guessing since they didn't run off to get the doctor or tell me I'll need another ultrasound that its not much to worry about but I'm still curious.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



From what I was able to understand by googling that, it seems that it's simply talking about the placement of where the cord attaches to the placenta.

quote:

Insertion: The cord is inserted in the foetal surface of the placenta near the center "eccentric insertion" (70%) or at the center "central insertion" (30%).

MoCookies
Apr 22, 2005



Even though we're in Canada, we really depend on my husband's full salary to make ends meet, so instead of taking parental leave, he's taking all (3 weeks) of his 2011 vacation and 2 weeks of his 2012 vacation days to stay home with me and the baby after the birth. Honestly, I think he'd probably drive me nuts if he was home full time for 3 months and not working at all. I think he's actually going to end up working ~2 days a week starting in mid-November until he runs out of vacation days, which I think is a better situation for everybody involved, plus his projects at work.

opie
Nov 28, 2000
Check out my TFLC Excuse Log!

With the first kid my husband couldn't take more than a couple days off without bad consequences, but he felt pretty useless anyway and to be honest just got on my nerves about wanting to "help" and give the kid formula. This time since we have a 2 year old and I had a c-section, he's taking a month off. He spends almost all the time with the toddler, while I take care of the baby. This time around I also made him take the spare room since there's really nothing he can do when the baby wakes up and wants to eat, and he needs the sleep more.

We have to pay for a minimum of daycare (two days a week) to keep the toddler enrolled, so she still goes and that helps as well. I really don't know what I'm going to do when it's just me and both kids. Hopefully by then the baby will be able to go more than a couple hours without eating, and the cluster feeding will be done.

Wafer
Sep 3, 2002



Maya's NICU story:

Well apparently Maya is coming home tomorrow. She had her IVs in for like 5 days before one got infiltrated, another was pulled out, and the last one just didn't work for more than a day. The nurses in the NICU were all "this girl has had enough. she doesn't need another IV" and convinced the docs of that.

Then she got out of her incubator about a week ago, and has been holding her temp great. No spells of low heart rate or O2 sat. Then they ramped up her feeding pretty aggressively, and in the past few days she's been snarfing down her food. She had over 40 ml for me at 6 am yesterday and today, and sucked it down in about 10 minutes.

The doc on duty today decided to pull the feeding tube and we got our 24-48 hour warning. She's been eating great all day without much reflux. Born at 3 lb, 12 oz, she's 17 days old and up to 4 lb 13 oz. As long as she keeps that up, she's going to be in great shape. It's also amazing to see how she's added all this baby fat so fast.

malder
Feb 7, 2005



Grimey Drawer

Good_Vs_Evil posted:

My wife just entered her third trimester and while she works from home and is self-employed and doesn't have to worry about taking time off from her job or notifying anyone, I don't have such luck.

So, guys (or ladies, you can answer for your guys):

How long did you take off of work? I'm mostly interested in U.S. men because I know European and Canadian systems offer you something like time off until your child hits puberty at half pay or something, but not so much in the U.S.. I know that I'm legally allowed to take 3 months off without being fired, but I'm curious what you guys did. Would you have liked to take more time off, or less, or was it the right amount?

Moms: What was the most helpful thing your guy did for you post-pregnancy?

I'm thinking that, barring a difficult pregnancy that requires special care and hoping the baby is healthy, the best things I can do are make sure that my wife can get some sleep, take care of things around the house, and run interference on family. Any other suggestions?

My wife gave birth to our son 4 weeks ago and I'm still at home. I'm in Europe so my situation is different than the US (I get ten days off). I will get back to work in two weeks. It was really important to me to be at home during the first month after birth, not only to help my wife, but also to be with son. But having someone to take care of things around the house, is a great help to my wife.

I've heard people say that the bond between husband and wife weakens once the baby is there. In my case, it has only strengthened because I was there during the first difficult weeks.

Chickalicious
Apr 13, 2005

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

Good_Vs_Evil posted:

So, guys (or ladies, you can answer for your guys):

How long did you take off of work? I'm mostly interested in U.S. men because I know European and Canadian systems offer you something like time off until your child hits puberty at half pay or something, but not so much in the U.S.. I know that I'm legally allowed to take 3 months off without being fired, but I'm curious what you guys did. Would you have liked to take more time off, or less, or was it the right amount?

Moms: What was the most helpful thing your guy did for you post-pregnancy?

I'm thinking that, barring a difficult pregnancy that requires special care and hoping the baby is healthy, the best things I can do are make sure that my wife can get some sleep, take care of things around the house, and run interference on family. Any other suggestions?

My husband took 5 weeks off. I had a c-section so his help was essential in the first couple weeks. Weeks 3-4 sucked sucked sucked for breastfeeding and he was the one that got me through. He rubbed my back when it felt like I had a shark on my boob all day and took the baby away immediately after a feed to handle diaper and cuddle duty. I was so done with being touched with all the cluster feeding. So do that to help. If she's nursing, do all the other stuff. Diapering, making meals, household chores, etc so she can snooze a bit between baby meals. He got up with me nearly every time the baby woke at night to make sure I had everything I needed (boppy, water, extra pillows to sit up with, the baby, my phone). Be that guy. Anticipate her needs, and let her nap.

Number19
May 14, 2003

HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH




MoCookies posted:

Even though we're in Canada, we really depend on my husband's full salary to make ends meet, so instead of taking parental leave, he's taking all (3 weeks) of his 2011 vacation and 2 weeks of his 2012 vacation days to stay home with me and the baby after the birth. Honestly, I think he'd probably drive me nuts if he was home full time for 3 months and not working at all. I think he's actually going to end up working ~2 days a week starting in mid-November until he runs out of vacation days, which I think is a better situation for everybody involved, plus his projects at work.

This is almost word for word what I'm doing. I've been saving up this year's vacation as best I can and will be dipping into next year's as well. Unfortunately I'll have to be on call at work in case something goes seriously wrong (I'm the sole IT admin) but otherwise I'll take two weeks straight off and then start working a four off, one on or three off, two on schedule for the next two to three weeks.

My employer also gives a bonus three paid days off to anyone who has a baby which is nice.

Idonie
Jun 5, 2011


Good_Vs_Evil posted:

How long did you take off of work? I'm mostly interested in U.S. men because I know European and Canadian systems offer you something like time off until your child hits puberty at half pay or something, but not so much in the U.S.. I know that I'm legally allowed to take 3 months off without being fired, but I'm curious what you guys did. Would you have liked to take more time off, or less, or was it the right amount?

Moms: What was the most helpful thing your guy did for you post-pregnancy?

My husband had two weeks of paternity leave, plus the state we live in has a family leave law that let him take six more weeks at partial pay, so the way we worked it is that he took a month off, then worked part-time for another month -- but because of when our daughter was born he had a lot of holiday time and vacation time, so he was home at least part of the time until she was 3 months old.

My husband was really helpful all-around; he cooked, cleaned, changed diapers, spent lots of time cuddling the baby, and was generally awesome. The thing he did that was above & beyond the call of duty, though, was reading to me when I was going absolutely crazy with boredom during a marathon nursing session, even though our tastes in literature are so far apart I could tell he was cringing every third word. It's become a family joke, but at the time it made me feel incredibly cared for that he took me seriously when I told him I was going nuts from lack of mental stimulation.

JBark
Jun 27, 2000
Good passwords are a good idea.

My wife's due Dec 18th with our first, and I'm planning on taking off from birth till after the New Year sometime, maybe more. Too much USA work ethic left in me, just can't take more days off without feeling guilty. Thanks IBM for instilling a life-long fear of any sort of extended leave. :)

I'm in Oz, and my wife and I can take a combined 18 weeks at $570 a week if we wanted to. Can't be at same time, but you can share between each other. Or, there's always the $5500 baby bonus if we don't want the maternity leave payments. Man I love Oz and its middle class welfare.

Completely unrelated, but this is my favorite blog right now:
http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

I think of it as a primer for what not to do after our kid is born.

Doom Catcher
Sep 11, 2001

Sometimes, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!


Is anyone else completely psycho right now? I suddenly have a very short fuse and my normally very mellow self is gone. Things that have rolled off my back for 30+ years are setting me off left and right and it has gotten to the point where my personality is unrecognizable.

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Force de Fappe
Nov 7, 2008



It will pass. Sanity will return. Aum. Aum. Aum.

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