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Ceridwen
Dec 11, 2004
Of course... If the Jell-O gets moldy, the whole thing should be set aflame.



So it looks like I should be joining this thread. Got a (several) positive test this morning. I'm only ~10 days past ovulation so it's really early, but even the digital test gave me a positive. Still in a bit of a daze about it but we are very excited.

Can't wait for it to sink in!

Orange_Lazarus posted:

So my wife and I are considering getting pregnant around August and we haven't read anything yet. My wife just finished a child psychology book and she wants to read something pregnancy related during her break at work.

I was thinking what we both need to read is a really good, modern, science based book about pregnancy and nutrition, especially something with a focus on brain development. Any other really good books on pregnancy would be fantastic as well.

Not really focused on brain development, but I liked the Mayo Clinic pregnancy book and I got it after seeing it recommended here.

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Bank
Feb 20, 2004
I paid five bucks and all I got was this custom title.

Ceridwen posted:

Not really focused on brain development, but I liked the Mayo Clinic pregnancy book and I got it after seeing it recommended here.
My wife bought this book and loves it. It gives you an idea of what to look for week by week. Lots of pictures and great insight.

GoreJess
Aug 4, 2004

pretty in pink


Ceridwen posted:

So it looks like I should be joining this thread. Got a (several) positive test this morning. I'm only ~10 days past ovulation so it's really early, but even the digital test gave me a positive. Still in a bit of a daze about it but we are very excited.

Can't wait for it to sink in!


Congratulations!!! I don't think it really sunk in that I was pregnant until we saw the little jelly bean on the ultrasound last week. Up until then everything just felt very surreal.

Ceridwen
Dec 11, 2004
Of course... If the Jell-O gets moldy, the whole thing should be set aflame.



GoreJess posted:

Congratulations!!! I don't think it really sunk in that I was pregnant until we saw the little jelly bean on the ultrasound last week. Up until then everything just felt very surreal.

Thanks!

I stopped by the OB office today because it's on my walk to work and set up my first couple of appointments. The first is with the nurse at the end of this month and the second is with the doc in mid-June. So I have some waiting to do before I get any confirmation other than the pee sticks.

On the advice of my OBs office I went and double checked on my insurance coverage today and things look good.

This was only my second cycle off birth control (Mirena was taken out 8 week ago tomorrow) so it all seems a little whirlwind right now.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



Ceridwen posted:

Thanks!

I stopped by the OB office today because it's on my walk to work and set up my first couple of appointments. The first is with the nurse at the end of this month and the second is with the doc in mid-June. So I have some waiting to do before I get any confirmation other than the pee sticks.

When I got a pee positive, I made an appointment with my GP the same day. They tested my urine for a positive and then took a blood test to tell me how far along I actually was.

Ceridwen
Dec 11, 2004
Of course... If the Jell-O gets moldy, the whole thing should be set aflame.



Alterian posted:

When I got a pee positive, I made an appointment with my GP the same day. They tested my urine for a positive and then took a blood test to tell me how far along I actually was.

I'm pretty sure I could get student health (run by the GP practice in town) to take blood for a test if I wanted, but from what I've read my OB's approach of waiting until ~6-8 weeks for the first visit is pretty normal and I don't have any reason to be especially concerned. I'm young, got pregnant quickly, and don't have a history of losses. And I was charting so I'm pretty sure when I ovulated, which is nice.

Did you have to ask for the blood test or was it standard practice for them?

bamzilla
Jan 13, 2005

All butt since 2012.




The blood test(s) are pretty standard. They use them to track your hCG levels to determine if your pregnancy is still viable.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



I have really long cycles and I wasn't actually tracking (We were going to start officially trying again the following month. I was waiting to get my period to start tracking) When I found out I was pregnant and thinking back, I knew when I had some implantation spotting and it was about a week later than they said I should have conceived so they did a blood test to see how far along I was. It was a good thing too since I was right and they were able to make my first OB appointment when I was 8 weeks instead of earlier. My practice doesn't bring in women for their first exam until they're 8 - 10 weeks along.

MarshallX
Apr 13, 2004


oh, this is pregnancy, not parenting.

damnit.

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

Ceridwen posted:

I'm pretty sure I could get student health (run by the GP practice in town) to take blood for a test if I wanted, but from what I've read my OB's approach of waiting until ~6-8 weeks for the first visit is pretty normal and I don't have any reason to be especially concerned. I'm young, got pregnant quickly, and don't have a history of losses. And I was charting so I'm pretty sure when I ovulated, which is nice.

Did you have to ask for the blood test or was it standard practice for them?

Standard for my OB is to make the first appointment for ~7wks and do an ultrasound to check viability/placement and confirm how far along you are. Then they send you off for a whole bunch of bloodwork which probably includes hCG but covers other things as well.

rangergirl
Jun 2, 2004
A shark on whiskey is mighty risky, but a shark on beer is a beer engineer

We are in the starting to think about buying stuff phase, I'm 25 weeks and we want to at least get the big items taken care of by 8 months in case the kid comes early. I am going to have a small shower but I expect I'll mostly get clothes/toys stuff...I certainly don't expect anyone else to buy us the expensive gear.

Trying to figure out what you really need and what is just extra crap is completely baffling to me. This whole baby thing is like a foreign culture, my brain turns to mush when I try to figure out if a carseat is any good or not. I can ask some of my friends about things but most of them have very different ideas about what is necessary. I tend to be a little more "minimalist" I guess and don't want tons of junk for what's going to be an only child. I also don't have a ton of money right now as this was a big surprise and we had JUST bought a new house.

So...does anyone have any recommendations for books/websites that have good lists of what you REALLY need and what is really important to look for?

Bank
Feb 20, 2004
I paid five bucks and all I got was this custom title.

My sister bought baby bargains and swears by it. So much that she won't lend me her copy :(
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1889392405

car dance
May 12, 2010

Ben is actually an escaped polar bear, posing as a human.

Unlikely because Polar Bears do not know how to speak.
Also it does not make any sense.

To be honest, I've looked at lot of the lists of what you "need" and "don't need." Some lists are super minimalist that are like "all you need are clothes - just wash the baby in the sink, let them sleep in your bed and you're good." For me, this is what I wouldn't have gotten through the past two months without:

- co sleeper/basinette since it's tiny and portable and I can move it from room to room
- some kind of babycarrier thing, there are a ton but I'd suggest one that converts in to a backpack eventually (the Ergo lasts up to 40lbs!)
- swing or bouncer though I now prefer the swing since I don't have to constantly bounce it
- lots of blankets for swaddling or shielding baby's eyes
- portable changing pad if you leave the house a lot
- for cloth diapering the diaper sprayer
- obviously a carseat but we were stupid and got one that's really only good for the car and isn't really a "carrier" and I wish we had
- bottle brush
- white noise application on my phone (free)
- and to be frank here, the boppy pillow. I know it sounds ridiculous but when I was breastfeeding it was a miracle and now that I'm not I just set her in it when I wanna play with her on the couch and have both arms free. I don't leave her there but I can hold her toys and talk to her and she's propped up. just buy a "naked" one and look for a cheap slipcover on amazon. I managed to get a cover for $5

Lots of lists I've seen have said that the swing/bouncer is pointless because you can just do those things yourself but god drat is it tiring to have to constantly bounce and swing your arms around and sometimes you just need a break. If you get one of these, get one that plugs in to the wall. Craigslist is also great for big things or even clothes. Thrift stores are where I got a lot of her clothes. Amazon has deep discounts sometimes and the best part is the reviews! You will know when something is crappy.

Just wanted to add if anyone is curious that my daughter is sleeping a lot better now that I'm keeping to a kind of schedule with her. The fussiness is pretty much gone. Also it's getting harder to burp her since her legs are getting strong and she pushes back when I try to lean her forward. :3: She has also discovered her tongue. Good times.

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

As far as the things we really really used with our daughter (...that we hope haven't gone weirdly moldy sitting in the basement so we can use them again :ohdear:)

- a swing seat (there were times when that was the only thing she would sleep in at two in the morning, plus it let us put her down somewhere nearby while we ate our meals)
- a stroller frame that worked with our carseat/carrier (things like this: http://www.consumersearch.com/car-seat-strollers/stroller-frames)
- a bathtub (not super necessary but easy to find at yard sales for like $2)
- a changing pad that had raised sides (she really liked that and it cut down on the feeling that she was just going to roll away)
- the boppy (it was nice having two, actually, one upstairs and one downstairs)
- a playmat with dangly things up above (we got one at a yard sale when she was ~5mos and wow, all of a sudden she was wayyy more into trying to roll around and get places)
- a pack'n'play kind of thing (it was her "crib" with a basinette insert for the first several months, then a playpen/toy storage, then a travel crib)

Most of those we got at yard sales for 20 bucks or under.

Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

Kosta's 13 weeks and we use these everyday:
-carseat. We got the Graco snugride 30 because by the time he's that heavy, we won't be carrying it around anyways.
-carseat stroller frame (but then when he gets older, we'll need a different stroller, so you might want a different type)
-Fisher Price Infant-to-toddler Rocker. It converts from a bassinet-style chair that he can sleep in, with vibration, to a more upright infant rocker, to a rocking chair for your toddler. No annoying electric music, and the batteries last 1-2 months for us.
-Arm's reach convertible cosleeper. Essentially the same thing as a pack & play except it's a cosleeper too.
-a playmat & some toys
-dresser with a changing pad on top of it
-ergo with infant insert (but you can use a rolled up towel)
-Dutalier rocker. It's not that you need that brand specifically, but you spent a LOT of time with your butt on that seat, and the last thing you need is your butt falling asleep in hour 2 of rocking the baby. Get something comfy.
-diaper bag

Baby Bargains is an amazing book. Get this year's edition; your library might even have it. It and its sister publication Pregnancy 411 were the two most helpful things I read. It really helps with what clothes to get), but the truth is that everyone prefers different things. I like snap-up sleepers so the baby doesn't get cold, but others prefer zip-ups so they don't have to fumble with snaps. Everyone told us not to buy newborn-sized clothes, bc he'd outgrow them or they'd be too small right away, but he was born 6 lbs 10 oz and couldn't fit into anything we had, and I would've liked a few pictures with him not in a ratty hospital shirt. Go with the flow and buy stuff cheap. It's garage sale season now, so you might as well hit up a few for toys for later.

Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 17:35 on May 11, 2012

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Things I couldn't live without:

- Dozens of vests and babygros. If you think you've brought too many, you're wrong! It's good to have extras and not have to do laundry several times a day.

- Changing table. Mine is nice and high up so I don't have to bend over to change his nappy or clothes. Plus nice organised storage for nappies, wipes, creams etc.

- Moses basket - He hated his crib at first as it was too big. This fits next to the bed and is nice and cosy. Also useful for dragging them round the house.

- Lots of muslin cloths and bibs. Useful, otherwise you'll be changing their outfit ten times a day. Plus, my baby has acid reflux, so I'm constantly cleaning up spit-up.

- Vibrating/bouncy chair. AWESOME during colic time.

- Microwave sterlizer. If you're formula feeding or expressing, it's so much easier than those big bulky steam sterlizers. Plus better for travelling.

- Nappy disposal bin - So much better than using those annoying little bags.

Things that we didn't really use:

- Adorable little baby outfits like jeans and dungarees. Look cute, but far too annoying to get them in and out of. Stick with simple items.

- Baby nest. He prefers his chair for playing and moses basket for sleep.

- Baby bath. He prefers to be in the bathtub with me or my husband. (Just make sure you don't add any products while they're in with you!)

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

I'm going to second the suggestion for buying or borrowing the Baby Bargains book from the library. It was one of the most useful things I've gotten during this pregnancy. Despite the name, it's not actually about how to get bargains and discounts. It has a section on each type of baby item (Bottle, strollers, cribs, etc), and it discusses all the general/mainstream options available to you in that category, shows them one-by-one with a brief description, overview of features, and the price. Most importantly (for me anyway), is that it gives the results of Consumer Reports safety testing and safety ratings for items where it's applicable (like carseats). Saves a TON of time when you're trying to figure out the balance of price vs features vs how safe is this thing?

I found that in the discussion of features, it brought up things that I wouldn't have thought of, which were actually important. For example, they talked about strollers and making sure you try them out in person to make sure they're right for your height, or making sure that you find one with an adjustable height handle if you and the father are very different heights. I'm 5'3", and my husband is 6'2", but I completely would not have thought about him having to hunch over to use a short-person stroller, so that advice probably saved him some backache. It also goes over all the major diaper brands and breaks them down to cost-per-diaper, which I thought was pretty great.

And seriously, don't go too crazy before the shower. You never know what kind of stuff you're going to get. I was freaking out about needing to buy tons of stuff because frequently the expensive gifts come from the woman's family and I have no parents, no grandparents, and no older siblings or anything like that. My in-laws, along with my lone aunt got together and really kicked rear end to throw an awesome and huge shower where I got a ton of the stuff I'll need. My best friend and I have been best friends since we were 4, so her mom has known me forever, and she helped organize and throw the shower too. It was pretty :3: .

EDIT: Forgot some money-saving advice. Anything that you know that you want, put on a registry at Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby (assuming you have one of those stores near you). Even if you think you'll buy the item yourself, put it on the registry. When you register, they ask your due date, and about 6 weeks prior to that, they mail you a coupon which you can use to purchase everything left on your registry at 10% off. Both of those stores offer this. But it's a one-time use thing, so rather than buying items one by one, you may want to put the money aside and buy a bunch of stuff all at once. When you're dropping $500+, 10% off makes a difference. Besides, once you're registered, Babies R Us will also send you intermittent coupons, which are sometimes good for 20% off of any one baby item. Buy Buy Baby will accept Bed Bath and Beyond coupons (which are usually 20% off of any one item), but the Bed, Bath and Beyond coupon cannot be expired. Bed Bath and Beyond will still take their coupons when they're expired, but Buy Buy Baby will not.

Mnemosyne fucked around with this message at 22:30 on May 11, 2012

MoCookies
Apr 22, 2005



I'm a minimalist for baby stuff, too. Aside from what's on my bookshelves. My absolute, couldn't live without it item(s) is a quality baby carrier. I have way more of them than I need, but I can't imagine how I would even parent without any of them. On a recent trip, I flew solo with a 5 month old baby, and the only baby gear I took with me was the carseat and half a dozen baby carriers. Woven wraps and mei tais are my favorites because I can put the baby up on my back (which he loves) and then I have my hands free to do stuff. They can also do double duty as blankets, hammocks, and photo backdrops. :) My friends who don't want to learn how to wrap love their Ergos though. Wearing the baby also substitutes for a lot of the other baby gear some people buy. We don't have a rocking chair, baby swing, bouncer, and that sort of thing. I have a fear of brightly colored plastic crap taking over our house, though that doesn't seem to slow down the grandparents from buying that crap FOR us anyway.

Orange_Lazarus posted:

So my wife and I are considering getting pregnant around August and we haven't read anything yet. My wife just finished a child psychology book and she wants to read something pregnancy related during her break at work.

I was thinking what we both need to read is a really good, modern, science based book about pregnancy and nutrition, especially something with a focus on brain development. Any other really good books on pregnancy would be fantastic as well.

These are some of my favorite types of books to read. I'd start with "Brain Rules for Baby" and "Nutureshock". Both cover the current neuroscience stuff, and Brain Rules in particular has some great stuff about brain development before birth, and how your stress level while pregnant affects the fetus. I'd also recommend "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn, and "Playful Parenting" which has some fantastic stuff about connecting with kids.

MoCookies fucked around with this message at 02:34 on May 12, 2012

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

rangergirl posted:

We are in the starting to think about buying stuff phase, I'm 25 weeks and we want to at least get the big items taken care of by 8 months in case the kid comes early. I am going to have a small shower but I expect I'll mostly get clothes/toys stuff...I certainly don't expect anyone else to buy us the expensive gear.

A lot of it depends on your lifestyle, I think. For example, we live in a really walkable area, so one of our biggest purchases was the stroller (my SIL though, lives in the suburbs and drives most places, so went with a very inexpensive one.) We ended up going with an Orbit, since all the pieces were interchangeable, and when we added up the cost of buying everything separately (bassinet, bouncy chair, stroller, infant seat, bar so that infant seat fits in stroller, etc), it worked out to about the same. I also fly with him a fair amount, so a carseat that doubles as a stroller makes airport stuff a zillion times better.

I didn't use the ergo as much, because since both my kid and I run really warm, so it was uncomfortable most of the time (though now that he holds his head up, we use a backpack style carrier a lot.) On cooler days though, it was pretty nice to have.

I didn't really care about the crib, and found a decent one on Craigslist for dirt cheap (I don't really get why you need to spend more money than necessary on a crib - they have to meet fed. safety standards anyway, and it's not like the kid sleeps better in a fancier crib. I would have just done Ikea if I couldn't find a used one.) Because we're on two levels, we also have a pack n'play. If you're on a single level, I don't really know if it's necessary.

As far as smaller baby stuff, what I found most useful were those super cheap Gerber 3-ply diapers - they make great burping cloths and general wipes (I also sew fun material on them for gifts, and they're always a hit), and tonnes and tonnes of receiving blankets.

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

ChloroformSeduction posted:

I didn't use the ergo as much, because since both my kid and I run really warm, so it was uncomfortable most of the time (though now that he holds his head up, we use a backpack style carrier a lot.) On cooler days though, it was pretty nice to have.

This is an unintended bonus that I didn't consider. I'm usually cold all the time. Why put on a sweater or turn up the heat when I can just strap a warm baby to myself? Awesome.

Stairs
Oct 12, 2004


Okay, I think I may need to switch doctors. I need opinions on this matter.

I have three previous pregnancies who are now 14,12 and 9. Except for once instance of bleeding with my youngest at 7 months everything went perfectly fine. Nobody ever in my family ever has had a pregnancy related issue that wasn't from falling off a cotton bale or something.

With my other three pregnancies I had medicaid. My doctor was a regular doctor, I always saw either him or the same nurses each visit, and got to know them familiarly. I never needed referrals because he would handle any issues. He never patronized if I had concerns and never talked down to me.

With this one I have United Healthcare. From the moment I started going they've been treating me rudely. Nothing hateful, just acting like I've never done this before. If I have a headache? "We are referring you to a neurologist!" If I have a bit of trouble sleeping or mood swings? "We are referring you to a psychologist!" I failed a glucose test because they ignored me when I told them I had just had sugar and forced the test anyway and refused to retest me or respect the results from any future retest. Then they said "We are referring you to a diabetes specialist!" I have tested my blood sugar for three months now, two of which I haven't been keeping the diet at ALL and my sugar hasn't gone past 98 even once.

Today was the last straw. My blood pressure for my whole life has been less than 120/80. 105/65 was the reading today. But my urine was slightly elevated in protein. So according to them I now have pre-ecclampsia, have to pee in a bottle for the next 24 hours, and (you guessed it) "We are referring you to a specialist!" They've also decided this means I must have a c-section, and that's that, no questions. I have also not ever been seen by the same person twice. Each visit is someone new that I'm not comfortable with.

Now, of course you're asking why the hell I've endured this all for 28 weeks. The answer is United Healthcare. Getting them to cover a drat thing is like herding cats and it takes a literal act of Congress to switch doctors. If I do this I'm going to have to file a complaint and play phone tag for a month. But I honestly believe that this doctor's office is over referring and probably even fudging the numbers to get referral bonuses and poo poo, and I'm drat tired of paying 45$ out-of-network co-pays to every Tom, Dick and Mary M.D. that the gyno throws me toward.

Sorry for the rant, but what I'd like to know is have any of you ever been over referred or over diagnosed? Is this a normal rear end-saving thing they just do nowadays or is this worth complaining about? No point in me changing if all doctors do this now. Like I said it's been 9 years for me, things might have changed?

I'd rather deliver in an alley with a hooker for a Doula than let these people anywhere near my hoo-hoo at birthing time.

Also nobody there got my Vin Diesel reference when I said "I don't feel under Cardiac Arrest." Any doctor that doesn't know who Vin Diesel is is a bad doctor.

Stairs fucked around with this message at 22:17 on May 16, 2012

Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

They're very good and intelligent, these tapa-boys...

I probably have a different "United Healthcare," or most likely a different branch under it, but--no, that doesn't sound very typical to me. Cover-Your-rear end is pretty common these days, but I haven't heard of it being the norm to jump right to referrals, or to see a different doctor every visit.

skeetied
Mar 10, 2011


I also have UHC and I had a mellow pregnancy with a midwife, who never referred me anywhere. Are there no other OB/GYNs or CNMs that you can see on your particular insurance plan?

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

I don't have United, but I have a similar big-name insurance company (BlueCross) and my experience is pretty much the complete opposite, with the exception of the rotating doctors bit. Basically it seems to be that it's normal to rotate through all the doctors in any given practice until you've seen them all, since any of them could be on call the day you go into labor, so they want you to have met them all. If a practice has like 3-4 doctors, then it's no biggie. I have no idea how many doctors your practice has, but if there are like, 10 doctors, then I guess that's how many you end up rotating through, which I think would make most people a little uneasy.


If you want to always see just one doctor, you apparently have to find a doctor who doesn't share a practice with anyone else, which seems to be less common these days. I looked into the details on this since I wasn't comfortable with rotating through a bunch of people. My regular GYN is also an OB, and he shares his practice with 3 other doctors and one midwife. I was going to try to find a private practice, but when I mentioned it to him, he told me that I was "the boss" and I didn't have to rotate if I didn't want to, but that he couldn't control who would be at the hospital when I went into labor.

But all the referring is crazy. I'm full of all sorts of less-common symptoms, and he hasn't referred me to anyone at all, and I'm 34 weeks. Most of my complaints are met with a "Yeah, sometimes that happens. Don't worry, it'll all go back to normal once we get this baby out." I've been having carpal tunnel/cubital tunnel pain so severe that I've been sleeping around 4 hours a night and trying to sleep sitting in a chair, and even then the answer was "Wear a brace for a week and if that doesn't work, I can refer you for physical therapy if you want to try that." I failed the 1 hour glucose test, but passed the 3 hour by only 5 points. My testing my blood sugar at home was showing it was out of normal range, and my doctor's response was "Is it 200? No? Then I'm not worried about it."

So yeah, the complete opposite of your experience. You really might want to look into a midwife, if you're ok with that sort of thing. They tend to be more patient-oriented, and while they're not for everyone, if you've already given birth 3 times and you know how this stuff goes, you're probably more relaxed about it all than a first-timer.

hepscat
Jan 16, 2005

Avenging Nun


I don't know what your age is, but if you're like me and had a pregnancy over age 35 versus having them at an earlier age, I also felt like I got a boatload of tests compared to when I was younger. I had to do the urine collection twice (neither time turned out to be anything) and one time when I'd had a rough, stressful day I registered slightly higher blood pressure, 130 over something, and my OB had me check right into L&D. I thought it was overkill myself and all that happened was I got monitored for a few hours while scrambling to find childcare and school pickup for my kid while I was stuck on a fetal monitor. I also have a high-risk complication that we know about, type 2 diabetes, and they wanted me to see a nutritionist WEEKLY throughout my pregnancy. Never mind that I'd done this in previous pregnancies and know how to test blood sugar, etc. The insurance was happy to pay but after a few weeks of showing up, reporting my meals & blood sugars and getting a little pep talk, I stopped coming.

So it's not quite the same jumping to refer but I do wonder if it's because you're not the typical 20-something that they are extra careful.

It does seem excessive though (a neurologist?) and anytime you're told you HAVE to have a c-section it's wise to ask why. I don't know what you can do about it. I have heard of women changing doctors this late in the game.

GoreJess
Aug 4, 2004

pretty in pink


All of the referrals do seem a little excessive, especially the neurologist for a headache & psychologist for mood swings. I mean, aren't these extremely common pregnancy symptoms??

If you really don't feel like you need to see those specialists, you don't have to go to the appointments. Since it seems like you really don't trust this practice & they're already laying down the c-section commandment, I would go through the hassle to find another doctor. These do not seem like the kind of doctors that will listen to you, but will force interventions on you during birth that might not be necessary.

The doctor cycling does seem to be something that happens with large practices, but there are practices that work differently. My doctor is one of 7 doctors in her practice, but I see her on every visit. If I want to meet the other doctors, they have scheduled "meet & greets" so I can meet the person who might be the one on call when I go into labor. They all have similar philosophies regarding birth (don't push epidurals, no automatic episiotomies, don't jump to c-sections, etc) that are important to me, so I'm not worried about getting some crazy doctor I've never met pushing me into a c-section.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


It's a girl! In 20 weeks she will be here.

Great, now I have to worry about every penis in the entire loving world. gently caress. Good thing I like guns.

Edit: VV Good thing I am an IT guy who will monitor every single packet in and out from this house and her phone. :Mr_Burns_excellent.gif:

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 01:27 on May 17, 2012

Bad Munki
Nov 4, 2008

We're all mad here.



Girls are easy, they just require two rules:

1) No boys
2) No internet

Both rules apply until she's, ohhhhhh, thirty. :colbert:

crazyvanman
Dec 31, 2010


So after my fair share of lurking it's time for me to enter. Our delightful looking baby is due 21st August so things are starting to get pretty exciting.

Being an hour apart for most of the week is pretty challenging, and difficult for me to feel engaged with the baby, as it's not my body that goes through all the changes etc. I've been researching as much as I can and I'm starting to get really into it all now.

Just a general question I have to anyone here who's tried to raise their child vegan. I'm fully vegan and Rhiannon is not. I know it can be done, and I'm currently reading Feeding your vegan infant - with confidence by Sandra Hood. It's very useful and everything, but this thread seems to be the best place for talking to actual people. So, has anyone here tried this? What should I know about trying it, and how can I reassure others that it's safe without just poking books in their faces?

crazyvanman fucked around with this message at 20:02 on May 19, 2018

dreamcatcherkwe
Apr 14, 2005
Dreamcatcher

You're not going to be able to convince people it's safe unless you can get them to read something about it. I would just let that dream go. ;) You could tell them you've discussed it with her pediatrician and you don't want to discuss it with them, if it becomes a big issue. I'm assuming the baby's mother agrees with this decision.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003



I can't say anything about if a vegan diet for a baby would be good or bad. My husband is a vegan and I am not and we won't be raising our baby vegan. Have you discussed this with the mother yet? Are you going to be done with school and living closer when the baby is born? If you were going to do a vegan diet, I would imagine making sure the baby has all the nutrients and macro ratios it needs would be pretty time consuming and putting it all on her wouldn't be very fair. What are your reasons for being a vegan and what do you think your infant would get out of being vegan as well?

hepscat
Jan 16, 2005

Avenging Nun


If your partner is planning on breastfeeding, does that mean she has to become vegan as well?

I would say keep an open mind. I don't know the ins and outs of veganism but many, many babies have dietary intolerances that you can't get around because of your beliefs. It's not like you feed a newborn a plate of scrambled eggs anyway, so I assume you're talking about when your baby's eating solids?

crazyvanman
Dec 31, 2010


We will be living together from about two months before the birth onwards, so of course I will accept the responsibility for meal planning, which I know is going to be a lot of effort. I'll be cooking the majority of meals, though, so most food stuff will be in my department.

We have also discussed it, of course. She would like to bring it up a vegan but is a little apprehensive, so I guess you're right, dreamcatcherkwe and I will have to show her what I've been reading. She's actually lactose intolerant, so neither of us will be using any dairy anyway, and cow's milk isn't recommended for babies under six months either.

My reasons for being a vegan are moral ones. I don't agree that killing/using/enslaving animals for our own pleasure, entertainment, material gain or consumption is morally justifiable, especially in the way that it is done today. Of course I accept that this is a pretty easy position for me to take, not so easy for a baby. I've made it clear to Rhiannon that I will in no way dictate to her what she can and can't feed our child, but that I won't be cooking any non-vegan food. She doesn't have an issue with that at all, as we've survived for plenty of time eating vegan food, but I guess it's going to take a little more discussion, now that I've done some research, to explain how babies can thrive on a vegan diet.

Of course, there is then the issue of explaining to Sprog what a vegan is, why he/she has been fed like one and the choice that he/she is then free to make, but that's probably a discussion for the Parenting thread?

Lyz
May 22, 2007

I AM A GIRL ON WOW GIVE ME ITAMS

crazyvanman posted:

Just a general question I have to anyone here who's tried to raise their child vegan. I'm fully vegan and Rhiannon is not. I know it can be done, and I'm currently reading Feeding your vegan infant - with confidence by Sandra Hood. It's very useful and everything, but this thread seems to be the best place for talking to actual people. So, has anyone here tried this? What should I know about trying it, and how can I reassure others that it's safe without just poking books in their faces?

I had a friend who was vegan, and her husband a picky eater... the guy pretty much lived on pasta, cheese sticks and potato chips. She eventually ended giving it up because she was tired of her daughter not gaining weight and the kid certainly wasn't learning good eating habits from Dad.

But I think it's definitely something you have to discuss with your wife.

hepscat
Jan 16, 2005

Avenging Nun


It sounds like you're not talking about the infant stage at all, unless you mean formula. There is soy formula, but lots of babies don't take to it well. If she breastfeeds she can pretty much eat however she wants as long as her supply doesn't tank. Baby will get complete nutrition that way.

zonohedron
Aug 14, 2006




Mnemosyne posted:

If you want to always see just one doctor, you apparently have to find a doctor who doesn't share a practice with anyone else, which seems to be less common these days. I looked into the details on this since I wasn't comfortable with rotating through a bunch of people. My regular GYN is also an OB, and he shares his practice with 3 other doctors and one midwife. I was going to try to find a private practice, but when I mentioned it to him, he told me that I was "the boss" and I didn't have to rotate if I didn't want to, but that he couldn't control who would be at the hospital when I went into labor.

The practice I used didn't do this - so when it turned out my doc had stopped doing deliveries entirely (but hadn't told me!), I saw two different OBs at the hospital, neither of whom I'd met before. It worked out okay, but I think I'll make sure whatever practice I find for future children (not staying with this one for other reasons) does make sure patients meet as many of the doctors as possible, since that was pretty jarring.

(BTW, Stairs, when I "failed" the one-hour glucose test, they simply had me do the fasting three-hour variety, so I definitely think your practice was a little hasty on the diabetes specialist referral. Also, it should be possible to have your OB refer you to a specialist your insurance will actually cover, unless United Healthcare in your area doesn't cover any specialists of that sort - that they didn't at least try to do that would have annoyed me too.)

Cathis
Sep 11, 2001

Me in a hotel with a mini-bar. How's that story end?

I have a multi-doctor practice (6 or 7 i think) but I only ever see one doctor, except for the day I went in because of awful cramping and saw a different one. I know my doctor will be the one that sees me in birth, as well, unless Something Happens; but I have the advantage of having the birth hospital being a half block or so from her practice. I had UHC until the beginning of the month when we switched to military Tricare because they have FAR better coverage for pretty much everything (my work offers 80% UHC, husband's work was 90% UHC with a 5,000 OOP .. uggghhh).

Did my first sleep study for the scientific study I am enrolled in, surprisingly it wasn't as hard as I had thought to sleep with a tube in my nose, 3 sticky monitors, and a bunch of other assorted monitors and a big box strapped to my belly.

Starting to feel enormous even though I am sure strangers wonder if I'm just extra pudgy or pregnant. No strangers have attempted to touch me yet, thank god, though with an airplane flight next week I am thinking I'm going to find some extra baggy clothes for the day! Ladies (and gents?)... how many strangers DID try (or succeed) in touching the belly and at what point did it begin and/or was worst? I'd imagine the parts right before the baby's birth are touchiest? Strangers try to touch my hair all the time so I'm predisposed to be a little cranky about it.

Prolonged Shame
Sep 5, 2004



Cathis posted:

Ladies (and gents?)... how many strangers DID try (or succeed) in touching the belly and at what point did it begin and/or was worst? I'd imagine the parts right before the baby's birth are touchiest? Strangers try to touch my hair all the time so I'm predisposed to be a little cranky about it.

When you are enormous and miserable and unmistakeably pregnant, every post-menopausal woman in a mile radius will be irresistibly drawn to your belly. Some of them will be 'polite' and ask if it is ok to touch as they're reaching for you but most won't bother and will just start rubbing you while insisting they can tell what you're carrying by the shape of your belly.

Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

Cathis posted:

Starting to feel enormous even though I am sure strangers wonder if I'm just extra pudgy or pregnant. No strangers have attempted to touch me yet, thank god, though with an airplane flight next week I am thinking I'm going to find some extra baggy clothes for the day! Ladies (and gents?)... how many strangers DID try (or succeed) in touching the belly and at what point did it begin and/or was worst? I'd imagine the parts right before the baby's birth are touchiest? Strangers try to touch my hair all the time so I'm predisposed to be a little cranky about it.

I've been very lucky in that no strangers have tried to touch me yet. A few family members have, which is ok with me, and my next door neighbor poked my stomach once with his index finger, and that's been the extent of it. I'm 34 weeks and I've been obviously pregnant since like, 12 weeks, so it's not that nobody could tell. I think (and I hope) that maybe I just give off an angry "don't approach me" aura, because I've been concerned about strangers trying to touch me since before I got pregnant. Honestly, most of the stories I've heard of strangers constantly touching you come from people who ride public transportation frequently. I guess people don't have other diversions on the bus/metro/subway.

I do have strangers talk to me about it fairly frequently though, which is weird enough. I had some lady at the mall walk past me, then turn around to follow me and ask me when I was due. At the time I had 7 weeks left, which I told her, and her response was "Wow, you're doing really well with your weight!"
I know it was a compliment, but since when has it ever been OK to walk up to a stranger and discuss their weight with them? You don't even do that with people you know, especially women.

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Helanna
Feb 1, 2007



Pretty much anytime from 6 months onwards I had female work colleagues always touching my belly. I worked in a pretty big place (~900 people) so it's not like it was a few close colleagues!

I found random strangers don't tend to try, even though I'm now much larger (due in 12 days!). Very few have done so anyway, and again only women.

When visiting my family, I offered for my step-dad to feel baby kicking and he was shocked and so excited that I let him. I in turn was really surprised that he made such a big deal of it; for me it was just an idle "hey baby's kicking if you want to feel" but for him it was very personal and he would never have asked, even though he was dying to feel her kicking away in there! He had his first grandkid a few months ago, and his son's wife didn't let him touch her belly at all when she was pregnant, which he was apparently quite disappointed about.

I'm one of those weird pregnant women who actually doesn't mind people touching the belly at all though. If anything, I like all the attention, and enjoy being pregnant for the most part.

If I liked kids more I'd be tempted to have a whole brood, just so I could be pregnant lots of times! As it is, I don't really like children a whole lot, so I'll see how I feel about my own before I make plans to have more!

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