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I have never played the game but I watched a complete walkthrough of it on youtube a few years back. I did skip some of it, though.
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Jun 23, 2011 07:25
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I played a little bit farther than where we are now, but really most of this game is a mystery to me.
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Jun 23, 2011 07:36
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I'm glad to see you guys who've never played following the LP too. Even if some of you have been spoiled some things, there's still a lot to the game that most people miss. Like I said, I think most players (specially the fans) miss the point entirely.
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Jun 23, 2011 08:17
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Chapter 17 - God drat it, Hojo Jenova... this isn't the first time we read this name. We assume that Jenova is the... woman-thing in the tank.  Barret of course doesn't find a purple headless woman with eye-nipples weird at all, it's just "stupid".  Further ahead we find the [Poison] Materia. It's a great addition. The thing about Poison is that this entire place is a creep-rear end laboratory. So we'll equip Elemental-Poison on the Armor for the sake of not getting whatever diseases they're searching here. We go up to the next area.  THANK GOD YES.  Hojo never asks their name on the first date.   Hojo: Outsiders... there are so many frivolous things in this world.  Oh cmon, this is bullshit.  Hojo is high on thinking "man I'm SUCH an INTJ right now".  What  God drat it Hojo, you're a creepy bastard.  Seriously Hojo   God drat it Hojo You have some creepy weird-rear end fantasies.  Well, technically, she's an ancient.    Finally, they get the right idea.   My eyes are kinda getting used to this lovely shade of  HOLY poo poo  Obligatory music for this scene.  Cloud still haven't had his date.  Oh poo poo something is coming   Hahahaha for some reason I always find this quote funny.  HOLY CARP!!!!!!!!!!! THE DOG TALKED!!! HOLY poo poo WHAT  OH GOD WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS LAB  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  Awesome, Cloud, I sense an exciting boss battle incoming!  We get to choose between Barret and Tifa to leave for the next battle. I officially take Barret off, but I'll show both battles.  I like how Cloud is completely indifferent to the talking animal.   YAY NEW PARTY MEMBER! A... talking dog. We'll stick to Red XIII because I like my games without ridiculous names. BOSS TIME  Sample H0512 is one of Hojo's creepy experiments and as such, is a very, very weird monster. For starters, to fit the theme of very weird experiment, Sample H0512 absorbs Poison Damage. It also starts the fight by tossing Poison on everybody. H0512's gimmick is that he starts the fight with three little monsters called H0512-opts. These bastards cast spells on you and attack you on their own timers. They have about 300 HP, but the problem is that H0512 will also reanimate them when you kill them. First, let's get this out of the way, shall we?  Bosses who have managed to do their gimmick against us before we kill them: 0/5  Of course this was not very fun. I mean, sure, it's kinda amusing to see Cloud one-shotting the fifth boss before he gets the chance to do anything, but we didn't even get to see the fight. How about we have some fun? I took as a challenge killing H0512 AND the little bastards without taking damage from them, since they're his gimmick. It's harder than it seems - There are three of them... sometimes they get the first turn. Even if we manage to one-shot them with limits, H0512 will just reanimate them in the next turn, and odds are that they will respawn with their timer full, ready to strike us. So we can't one-shot them, and yet we can't wait long enough until H0512 to run out of MP. What are we to do?  The answer: The Loco Weeds we've been stockpiling. I told you we'd use those lovely items we've been taking. Nothing more amusing than seeing the Boss being killed by his own pets, eh? We used the [Loco Weeds] to put [Confusion] on the pet. This gave us enough time to use [Ghost Hands] on the boss - three and he's out of MP, so he can't reanimate them. After that it's a standard fight. I was lucky with Tifa's limit in this video - I was holding Cloud's limit to see which pet I should Blade Beam, but Tifa took care of all of them.  Defeating H0512 gives us a Talisman, which is another accessory. Talisman increases Spirit, which increases your Magic Defense. Unlike the Magic Defense bonus you get from armor (which is bugged - it doesn't work), Spirit really works. Anyway, now that we've truly soul-crushed H0512, let's move on to the plot.   Stop being so jealous, Tifa.  This entire conversation is awkward.  I AM AN ANCIENT, AERIS COME HERE.  Oh great, we got a dog that talks, and he talks philosophical crap. We just can't have nice things, can we?  Or a cat. Or maybe it's a furry costume and there's a guy inside. No, that couldn't possibly exist.  Tifa must be dying inside of jealousy right now.  Yeah, right. We're keeping an eye on you, Scooby.  What if when you arrive you just save Red XIII and he goes "I'm sorry, but the Ancient is in the other Headquarter?"  It would suck, that's what.  It's almost like we're playing FFX-2!  This plan makes no sense, it just doubles the odds of you being captured. God drat it, Barret.  Why, THANK YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED!  You know what we do next? We take the [Enemy Skill] Materia.  The Enemy Skill materia turns your character into effectively a Blue Mage. It allows you to steal some specific spells from certain enemies, as long as: 1) They hit the character with the materia while he's alive. 2) You win the battle. To a new player, [Enemy Skill] may sound a little useless. It's very possible that you play for a long time and not find or get a single spell for it. If you know which spells can be stolen, however, Enemy Skill completely and utterly breaks the game, yes, even more so than we're doing here.  These are Aeris' limits that I got altogether with Cloud and Tifa, but we never had the chance to use them. Breath of the Earth is very meh - it basically removes every status ailment from your characters. It's a horrible limit and you should never use it. Fury Brand on the other hand, instantly fills the Limit bar from the other two party members. That's absolutely right, I don't even know what to say about it.   Well, that was easy.  Unfortunately it's kinda pointless, as we're supposed to meet up in the 66 floor elevator.  Oh god the MIB is following us.   It was too easy to be true.   Couldn't he just fight them? It's not like he hasn't beat one of them to a pulp before, you know.  And with that we're taken as prisoners to the top floor. NEXT TIME! Find out what is gonna happen to our heroes! Chapter 17 Bugs & Bytes Poison Poison is %-based - after the initial damage, every turn will take away exactly 1/32 of the enemy's (or the player's) health. That means that enemies that are susceptible to Poison will die in 32 turns. This is a long-rear end time though - you can win most boss fights with auto-attacks in much less than that. Weapon Magic Weapons actually also increase your Magic attribute, even if it doesn't show in the actual equipment screen. For example, Aeris' Striking Staff (the one we stole) has Mag 7 instead of Mag 3 that the Mythril Rod had. 
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Jun 23, 2011 08:25
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Awesome, a new update! And it's all pretty drat aweso-Elentor posted:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 
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Jun 23, 2011 08:39
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I always thought Red XIII was a cat creature, not a dog.
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Jun 23, 2011 08:41
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Nuggan posted:I always thought Red XIII was a cat creature, not a dog. He howls to the moon. He's pretty much deliberately a mix of both. S-Alpha posted:Awesome, a new update! And it's all pretty drat aweso- Mwahahahah I must share my suffering.
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Jun 23, 2011 08:42
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Elentor posted:It's difficult to stand on both feet isn't it?
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Jun 23, 2011 08:42
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Elentor posted:He howls to the moon. I forgot about that, I guess thats a good point. 
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Jun 23, 2011 08:44
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Yay Red XIII!  I vote he gets the Enemy Skill materia. We're voting right?
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Jun 23, 2011 09:05
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That's cool Elentor, I didn't feel like sleeping anyway. V I always found it odd that Hojo didn't understand how chromosomes work. Arsonist Daria fucked around with this message at 09:30 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 09:06
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This is why I love Hojo. He's just the embodiment of   Professor Hojo, we have the Ancient and the....dog thing ready. What should we do next? MAKE THEM gently caress! What? You heard me! We're saving endangered species by doing this!
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Jun 23, 2011 09:13
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Yeah Hojo is a terrible scientist there is no way that was going to work
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Jun 23, 2011 09:26
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Woozy posted:Yeah Hojo is a terrible scientist there is no way that was going to work
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Jun 23, 2011 09:28
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Considering another one of his retarded schemes that I could not possibly explain without spoiling some (a lot of) stuff, making furries and humans mate and expecting viable offspring seems pretty reasonable for the guy.
Death Priest fucked around with this message at 09:37 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 09:35
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quote:I like all the Turks, but I absolutely love Rude. So awesome. Lance Streetman fucked around with this message at 09:39 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 09:36
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Death Priest posted:Considering another one of his retarded schemes that I could not possibly explain without spoiling some (a lot of) stuff, making furries and humans mate and expecting viable offspring seems pretty reasonable for the guy. Seriously, Hojo is the worst non-Space Pirate scientist ever.
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Jun 23, 2011 09:40
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I know I'm an update too late for this, but gently caress that Midgar Parts floor. That floor (and the airvent/coupon puzzle before it) remains one of my most hated memories of this game and one of the biggest reasons I never go back to it. So much bullshit in such a tiny time-frame. Also, that thing that is at the end of your update... I thought Hojo wanted to crossbreed Red and Aeris, not Red and Kihmari...
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Jun 23, 2011 10:02
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Elentor posted:I know a lot of people are complaining about this picture, but I for one am very glad that he appears to be (maybe) wearing some sort of loincloth. And even if he isn't wearing anything, at least the artist here made use of artistic license and didn't make the picture as disgustingly gratuitous as it potentially could have been.
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Jun 23, 2011 10:26
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The first two times I played this game (I got stuck on a later boss and said gently caress it and rage-restarted), I didn't even know there was a materia there. And such a shame, too, I fuckin' love Enemy Skill. I think part of this spawns from the fact that, back in 95 when I was playing Secret of Mana (and consequently my first grindy RPG, Crystalis doesn't count) for the first time ever, I thought it would be awesome to be able to use monster spells.
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Jun 23, 2011 10:38
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Elentor posted:I wish the game had follow up dialogue for that part if you chose to take the staircase. Elentor posted:Oh god I spit all over my monitor when that got scrolled in. Bahahahahaha, can't stop laughing at it. He has pectorals, ahahahahaha. Bocc Kob fucked around with this message at 10:56 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 10:40
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wdarkk posted:Yeah, same deal for me. This might get lost below the last update but this is also true for me, I know the biggest spoiler that most people know, but nothing else.
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Jun 23, 2011 12:17
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Jazzimus Prime posted:And even if he isn't wearing anything, at least the artist here made use of artistic license and didn't make the picture as disgustingly gratuitous as it potentially could have been. It is a guy in a furry-ized Red outfit, most blatantly in the "I am stuck waiting in the con's pre-reg line" pose. Gratuitous, no. Sad? Potentially.
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Jun 23, 2011 12:52
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Waffleman_ posted:This is why I love Hojo. He's just the embodiment of He didn't even really try anything, he just sort of stuck them in the same room and assumed they would.
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Jun 23, 2011 12:55
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Dauntasa posted:He didn't even really try anything, he just sort of stuck them in the same room and assumed they would. But Hojo's a turbonerd, so he thinks that's how it works.
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Jun 23, 2011 13:30
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Dauntasa posted:He didn't even really try anything, he just sort of stuck them in the same room and assumed they would. Well he probably...um..well...um...expected them...um...FOR SCIENCE! Hojo's all kinds of hosed up, but at least he's voiced by Paul Eiding, best known as the voice of the Colonel in Metal Gear. That laugh is loving great.  "Genius I tell you! Haha! Pure genius! PURE GENIUS! Teehahah-AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"[E]: That Red XIII fursuit is gonna be in my nightmares
Pesky Splinter fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 13:48
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Elentor posted:Line of the game, right here.
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Jun 23, 2011 14:42
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Waffleman_ posted:This is why I love Hojo. He's just the embodiment of Well, um, he didn't say it'd take over 100 years for nothing. E; Oh, and for that guy who asked how long some of the stuff in that FAQ would take to do, well... er, I saved just outside Shinra HQ and my in-game clock at that point was at 12 hours. There's a good reason I don't count natural max hp/mp, because that's just incredibly crazy and spergy and ohgod I don't want to waste hundred upon hundreds of hours resetting for one goddamn level up. Lotus Aura fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 14:53
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Waffleman_ posted:But Hojo's a turbonerd, so he thinks that's how it works. Well, he certainly has no problems getting women (as we'll see later), so that can't be it. He's just a sick person.
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Jun 23, 2011 15:45
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HenryEx posted:Well, he certainly has no problems getting women (as we'll see later), so that can't be it. That hardly counts, as it was in the name of
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Jun 23, 2011 15:48
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Elentor posted:I have to say, watching you run circles around the bosses with ridiculous, out of the way strategies is proving to be the most entertaining part of this whole LP.
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Jun 23, 2011 15:48
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Elentor posted:Chapter 17 Bugs & Bytes Hojo probably watched too many animes.
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Jun 23, 2011 15:50
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Waffleman_ posted:That hardly counts, as it was in the name of You're thinking of the wrong one.
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Jun 23, 2011 15:52
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Squarely Circle posted:I've never played it. I know what the big spoilery thing is, but other than that I have no idea what's coming up. I'm in the same boat, I've done some reading about the game over the years, but have never actually tracked down a copy to play myself.
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Jun 23, 2011 16:03
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Waffleman_ posted:This is why I love Hojo. He's just the embodiment of Hojo's one sick gently caress alright, but you'd think that what with President Shinra working so hard to find the Promised Land... he'd really take offense that his lead dude is trying to use the girl key to those plans as part of an attempt to breed werewolfcougarancients.
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Jun 23, 2011 16:06
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TKMobile posted:Hojo's one sick gently caress alright, but you'd think that what with President Shinra working so hard to find the Promised Land... he'd really take offense that his lead No, once they breed all the female kids will be clones of Aeris and all the males will be clones of RedXIII. Didn't you ever watch cartoons?
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Jun 23, 2011 16:17
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Bocc Kob posted:Yeah, those spell-refining abilities to max your stats without leaving the menu were so hard. Hey don't forget item and card refining. Draw is for scrublords.
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Jun 23, 2011 16:18
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Golden_Zucchini posted:No, once they breed all the female kids will be clones of Aeris and all the males will be clones of RedXIII. Didn't you ever watch cartoons? I thought cartoons had differing opinions on this course of genetics. I direct you to Shrek 2 where you can, apparently, breed donkeys and dragons where the resulting children are mish-mashes. Then again, you have Usagi Yojimbo's creator saying if a cat girl and a rabbit dude have offspring, the boys would be rabbits, whereas the girls are cats (And we all know Stan Sakai is never wrong.) Clearly Hojo must be performing this experiment to see what rules his world operates under.
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Jun 23, 2011 16:43
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drat, there are so many hilarious lines in this game I had completely forgotten about over the years. Awesome LP so far.
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Jun 23, 2011 16:43
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TKMobile posted:I thought cartoons had differing opinions on this course of genetics. I direct you to Shrek 2 where you can, apparently, breed donkeys and dragons where the resulting children are mish-mashes. Then again, you have Usagi Yojimbo's creator saying if a cat girl and a rabbit dude have offspring, the boys would be rabbits, whereas the girls are cats (And we all know Stan Sakai is never wrong.) I think it's more a case of him not really believing that the president is actually paying him for this poo poo. At this point he's probably throwing more and more ridiculous plans at his boss just for shits and giggles and is probably spending all his research grants on whatever the gently caress he wants.
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Jun 23, 2011 16:50
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