Where I Read: Miranda Leek's "Twisted" - The Something Awful Forums

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Iced Cocoa: Jul 14, 2011

quote:

"We'll see about that," Black muttered. He reeled in his fishing line and pried another wriggling red fish off his hook and dropped it into a steel bucket where it began swimming around with the others they had caught. "I thought you said these things came in more than one color."

"Must be a school of the red ones down there right now. They are more common," Terry admitted with a shrug.

Reds are more common because roller coasters hunt fish by controlling them into the shore or nets, but red roller coasters are rare. But at least there hasn't been that much overfishing since if the stocks were low the gnomes would replace them in even numbers.

Or, that's at least what I think. I tend to overthink things after midnight.

Great stuff as always.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 01:50

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# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:32

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Particularly egregious apologies given to Railrunner

Chapter 10

Rodney walked through the doorway, shut the door, and stopped to take off his shoes. Suddenly Clare pulled out the knife and brought it down towards his chest. Rodney had no time to react, the knife went into him and Clare stumbled backward gasping in fear. Rodney sat on the floor breathing harshly. He tugged at the knife sticking out of his chest; he pulled it free and lay it aside. Blood seeped through his shirt; he unbuttoned it and reveled [sic] the nasty wound.

Then the gash started to shrink, till it was no longer visible, Rodney had healed himself. Clare stood unmoving. She gasped as she realized her mistake.

“I’m so sorry!” She sniveled as Rodney got back up and popped his neck. Rodney looked at her, he unexpectedly smiled a little.

“Clare, I’ve looked worse, believe me,” he started to laugh.

“Like last night?”

“Yes, like last night.”

Chapter 23

All of us were currently walking along a heavily wooded path that looked as if it had not been used in quite some time. Thunderbark led and Merrylegs followed close behind him. Static and I brought up the rear. “What were you and Thunderbark talking about last night?” He said suddenly. “I could hear you both speaking, but I couldn’t make out any words.”

“Shouldn’t you be minding your own business instead of listening in on others?” I said in reply somewhat angry that he was poking his nose into things he shouldn’t.

“Sorry,” he replied sounding ashamed.

“Well, he was only talking about information on Amusement Park Between.” I lied.

“Like where things come from? For example, how the regular multicolored animals or stuffed toys won at fairs that nobody wants?”

“Yeah, stuff like that, Static.”

“Sorry again to bother you.” Static said abashed.

Chapter 28

I awoke lying in my bed. I must have collapsed from exhaustion. Then I remembered my argument with Thunderbark. Why did I do that? Why in the hell did I say what I did? I felt horrible, not sick, but completely stupid!

How could I be so heartless after what all he had done for me?

I sat up and clutched my head in agony. I growled at myself.

“Why am I such a hothead?” I questioned. I looked up to see Thunderbark standing in the doorway. He looked as if he had calmed down from the incident earlier. He came and stood beside me. He smiled a small smile.

“Sorry for yelling at you, I was in the wrong.” He said. It sounded like he meant it.

“It’s fine.” I replied sighing.

* snip *

“I guess the thing that scared me the most was the simple fact –.”

“What.”

“The fact on what can actually kill a coaster.”

“What can kill us?” I said already knowing the answer.

“The only thing that can kill a roller coaster is another roller coaster.”

“So that is why you didn’t heal up from my attack?” I played along.

“Exactly.”

“I understand now, Thunderbark.”

“I’m sorry.” The white coaster apologized again.

Chapter 29

I slowly removed my hood. Bandit’s mouth dropped open a few inches.

“My apologies, Railrunner. This is the first time I’ve ever seen a red in person, I have dishonored you.”

“No Bandit you are fine.”

Chapter 35

At first I thought he was going to send me a dumb remark, but he surprised me.

“I’m sorry Railrunner. I am just flabbergasted by the whole fact that Thunderbark is gone. You may continue.”

“Apology accepted. Now as I was saying, Thunderbark gave me hints where he was to be taken.”

Chapter 38

“You’re the red roller coaster,” Rozrail said with his green eyes widening and one of his wheels pointed in my direction. I then took off my cloak that was pitted with holes; throwing it aside. A rustle of murmurs ran
through the audience.

“Indeed I am.” I said shrugging.

“I would have never done...knew...attacked...my apologies Railrunner.” Rozrail said kneeling.

Chapter 39

“No need to apologize, Railrunner. My rear end deserved to get kicked. I am the one who should be apologizing. For the whole thing, being a complete jerk and all. You made me learn my lesson. I am NEVER fighting in the ring again, I am getting a real job.” He said.

I started to doubt him, I began to read the truth like I did with Clare, turned out he wasn’t kidding.

“You are forgiven, Rozrail.”

“Thank you.”

Chapter 43

I stared at the ceiling again, my body felt like it had been tossed around in an ocean surf. It still felt like it was too, with never ending swaying movement. Then a navy blue coaster entered the room. He stood looking at me grinning, and then he started to kneel.

“You don’t have to do that, I’m nothing special,” I interrupted him.

“Sorry if you do not find that- likeable. It is just that you are the most pure source of energy in all Amusement Park Between. You are a blessing.”

Chapter 47

“The fact that you can predict death makes me wonder if I am to die today.” Merrylegs mumbled.

“Merrylegs! Why would you ask me that?”

“It is the principle that you can.”

“Listen, if I knew you were going to die I would have told you already.”

“Oh, well silly me.” She said sheepishly.

“Static is not going to die either before you ask me that question.”

“Good. Is anybody?”

“You are pressing your luck.” I said raising my pierced eyebrow.

“Sorry Railrunner, I just want to know.” Merrylegs whispered quietly.

I sighed. “Some are, yes.”

“Okay, I just wanted to know, I won’t ask you anything else.” She replied inaudibly.

Chapter 51
Clare then pressed play and the movie began. Thirty minutes into it, and I knew the storyline. It was about a brainless terrorist who blew up coasters just for money. The special effects were probably state of the art back then, but now it was cheesy.

“This offending you, Railrunner? If it is I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was like this, I’ll take it out if you want.”

Chapter 53

“What did I tell you about over doing it!” he scolded.

“He was going to kill himself! Ever notice that bullets simply bounce off of you and hit the shooter?” I argued.

“I’m not blind Railrunner.” He growled.

“So, you owe me an apology!”

“Sorry.” He said crossing his arms. “What are we going to do with him?”

# ? Jun 22, 2013 14:41

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Iced Cocoa posted:

Reds are more common because roller coasters hunt fish by controlling them into the shore or nets, but red roller coasters are rare. But at least there hasn't been that much overfishing since if the stocks were low the gnomes would replace them in even numbers.

Or, that's at least what I think. I tend to overthink things after midnight.

Great stuff as always.

It's simpler than that: most packages of Swedish Fish are red only. You can occasionally find packs with red, orange, yellow, and green fish, but they are much less common.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 16:35

Cuntpunch: Oct 3, 2003; A monkey in a long line of kings

What's most amusing to me is the way Miranda has, once again, completely invalidated a chapter's purpose in the final paragraph:

We have an entire chapter about Ironwheel and Freakshow searching for Railrunner. Putting aside the fact that the bartender instantly remembers Rodney's address - sidenote: rampant alcoholism? - he ends up giving them the "here's where you find them" information. This could be a lead in to another chapter of them scouring Rodney and Clare's homes, giving the reader an impression of the efforts and thoroughness of their search. But instead it's just "Oh hey Bones hasn't come back and he was in the woods, I bet we'll find them there." This completely removes the need to go search their homes, which she just built up for most of a chapter before immediately handwaving away any effort on the part of the characters.

Excuse me the pun, but the most frustrating part of this story is how much it's clearly just on-rails storytelling. :rimshot:

# ? Jun 22, 2013 16:37

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 56 - Warned You

quote:

I slowly opened my eyes to see the stitching in the Hummer’s seats. I lay there for a brief second looking at all the treads, and then I turned to see Thunderbark driving. I moaned as I sat up straight in the seat. I yawned as I looked in the back to see that everyone was still asleep.

“Nice to see you up late.” He said staring at the road in front of him.

“Late?” I asked slightly confused.

“Yeah, it is four in the afternoon already. You fell asleep almost as soon as you became human again.” He said chuckling deep in his throat.

“I haven’t really slept well for the past two days. One night I had a nightmare that almost put me back into a coma, and I was raiding a prison and sneaking to Alcator.”

“Hmmm - did you say you had another nightmare?” Thunderbark asked concerned.

I let out a whoosh of air. “Yes, worst one by far.”

“Tell me.”

“Well, I saw Clare - die. All those dreams led up to her death. The morning after I had my last one, I knew I could predict death. It was a pattern after all, every five and the fifth predicts death.”

“That’s how you could see what happened to Merrylegs in Trenzon.”

So why couldn’t he foresee Thunderbark being kidnapped?

quote:

“As for Clare I have some advice for you.”

“What?”

“You can’t rebuild your past, but you can rebuild the future.” He said as he let a slight grin escape onto his face.

I… I think that means the story ends with Clare turning into a roller coaster somehow, so that they can “rebuild the future” as disgusting abominations. :gonk:

quote:

Thunderbark’s words ran through my head over and over again. I then put together what he was trying to tell me. Unexpectedly, Thunderbark turned into the parking lot for a gun and pawn shop.

“Why are we stopping here?” I asked him looking around.

“Your friends are only human; they need a way to protect themselves if they run into trouble.”

“From what I recall, roller coasters cannot be harmed by guns.”

“Right, but there is someway [sic] they can be.” He said as he climbed out.

At first roller coasters could only be harmed by other roller coasters, but now that Miranda Leek has re-introduced Sly and Buddy into the story in a (futile) attempt to make Railrunner a more sympathetic character, she has to give the human characters “someway” to fight her designated roller coaster villains as well. drat the plot holes, full steam ahead.

quote:

Thunderbark entered the store, I watched him for several seconds before I turned my attention to something else. I saw Thunderbark talking to the clerk at the counter about guns.

Buddy already has a gun – he tried to use it against Railrunner in Chapter 53. After the turncoat changed allegiances, he threw away his badge and radio, but not his gun.

As for Sly, he lives out in the woods, and in Chapter 54 Railrunner said that “Sly and I once hunted here together using some guns he had recently acquired from a friend”, so presumably he would have guns too.

So why didn’t either of them bring their guns with them? I mean… just give a little thought to what you are writing, Miranda Leek.

quote:

Sly’s truck was parked behind my Hummer; I decided to speak with them until Thunderbark returned.

I opened the door and closed it as I moved to the driver’s side of Sly’s truck. Buddy sat in the passenger seat eating old candy as Sly fooled around with his GPS.

“Hey guys.” I said leaning on the door.

“Oh, hello - Railrunner.” Sly smiled.

And even Sly and Buddy use the roller coaster name in the first instance. Why would they do that? They’ve had years of calling Rodney by his human name; people don’t change the way they address instantly, especially when the new name is some god-forsaken bullshit like “Railrunner”. This story makes me sick.

quote:

“First thing first, don’t let anybody hear my real name. Just use Rodney when we are in public.” I said glancing around nervously to see if anybody caught that.

“We must make sure to take precautions to keep my identity a secret,” said the creature who needlessly exposed himself as a roller coaster in public and busted up a gas station, killing one person and injuring many others in the process.

quote:

“Whoops, sorry! You slept a while, does being a you know what, rob of sleep sometimes?” He asked almost whispering.

“It really depends on what I am doing.” I laughed.

“What does it feel like?” Buddy asked with an even softer tone.

“Well, it’s wild and crazy, but you get used to it after a while.” I replied.

“Wild and crazy” is one way to describe mass murder.

quote:

“Do you ever regret it?” He continued, his question making me think deeply.

“Sometimes.” I said after a brief second.

Liar! Railrunner has never expressed the slightest regret or remorse for any of the atrocities he’s committed.

quote:

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a man in his middle twenties look into the window of the Hummer.

People in their “middle twenties” are “men”, while people in their “middle thirties” (Static and Merrylegs in their human forms” are “The girl had long silky red hair with a beautiful skinny figure. The boy had brown hair and looked somewhat like a daring teenager” (Rodney’s description of them in Chapter 1) or “young girl, and a boy” (Clare’s description of them in Chapter 52). :psyduck:

quote:

“What does he think he is doing?” Sly whispered not taking his eyes off the man.

Then another man walked up to the driver’s side of my car. He too, looked through the window. Then his hand slowly reached for the handle. I growled and strutted for him, my hands trembling, I knew I did not have much time left.

This is the great leader of Amusement Park Between – a creature whose one and only reaction to crisis is “Kill Burn Murder”. Amusement Park Between is going to have such a wonderful future ahead.

quote:

“What in the hell do you think you are doing!” I said into the man’s face.

“A little game of what you see is what you get,” he laughed.

“I’m not the guy that you would want to mess with, especially not at this hour.” I said almost reliving the mall incident over.

Merrylegs and Static climbed out of the car in alarm, Sly and Buddy rushed to my side. Thunderbark finally looked out to see me in an impending scuffle, he ran out to my aid.

“Do you honestly think you are outnumbered?” the man said as ten others stepped out of the shadows. I looked to the sky to see it fading; they did not even know what they were getting into, more so what they were dealing with.

“I’m warning you, it is not very smart to be tangling with us.” I continued. The man only looked at me and laughed. Thunderbark glared at them with one of his stern and serious gazes.

“You should listen to him, you boys better run along home, it is gonna be dark soon.” He said in agreement.

“The Altered love the night life.” The man sneered, using his gang name.

“The Twisted do too. I live for the night and the presence of the moon.” I said almost laughing again.

"Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot," Rodney remarked, "so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must be a creature of the night, ~~black~~ red, terrible... I will become a roller coaster!”

quote:

The man just gave me a strange look. He then turned to his colleague to say something, but he only pulled a fast one by slamming Thunderbark against the Hummer. It all spread like a wildfire as a huge brawl rang out between the two sides. Merrylegs punched a man in the jaw as Static got kicked in the ribs. Buddy and Sly were pinned against the wall while Clare was in a catfight with a woman follower.

His human friends are worthless and the love interest gets in a “catfight”.

quote:

Thunderbark stood over a man with a knife pressed to his throat. I watched the fight go on, I glanced to the sky; the sun was sinking below the hills. Our time was coming ever so quickly.

I still can’t get over how fundamentally ~~stupid~~ it is to tie roller coaster transformation to night time.

Come to think of it, shouldn’t it be the other way round? Amusement parks are open in the day and close at night, so amusement park rides should similarly be active in the day time and dormant at night.

quote:

I suddenly turned to see the barrel of a gun pointed at my face, an all too familiar sight to me.

“Not so tough are you now pretty boy!”

I smirked at his face, and then like lightning I grabbed the man’s hand and twisted it; throwing his gun from his hand. He cried in agony and grasped his broken wrist. I then elbowed him in the nose making him fall backward in to the alleyway. The man quickly got to his feet, his nose was bleeding all over his face and his wrist was turning black and blue. He swung at me with his good arm, missing as I ducked as the last second. I turned and kicked him face first into the wall. I charged to give him another blow, but he pulled out his knife and slashed me across the chest. The pain stung horribly as my nerves reconfigured and rejoined. The man looked at my wound bewildered, his brown eyes bored into mine.

“What - are you?”

“I have many names, but most call me a monster.” I hissed as I slammed the pest against the wall. He hung there helplessly a few inches from the ground. The man opened his mouth to utter a few more words.

“I ask again, and I want a better answer, WHAT are you!” He demanded.

“I told you before, a human rises with the sun, but I rise with the moon. I am a mere immortal soul that feasts on your fears and flesh.”

My stomach literally hurt from laughing at this point.

quote:

“Why won’t you answer my question correctly!”

“Why won’t you just shut up?” I mocked.

“Just tell me!”

I looked to see that the sun had set fully. I felt a surge of power run through my body as a smile of triumph ran across my face.

“I warned you.” I said holding back cries of agony. I doubled over in pain as the mysterious man made a run for it, I tried to go after him, but I was too occupied by my transformation.

I watched as my veins rippled like sidewinders beneath my skin. My brain burned like it was full of acid as my back split to make way for my rows of seats. I felt my multiple limbs protrude through delicate human skin.

Locks of luscious black hair fell out as my nose became a long snout. I grew as my skin became red metal that stretched along my body. I became more and more like the thrill ride that I really was, and then every human characteristic on the outside and some internally, faded. I was a roller coaster once again.
I stood upright and howled, signaling a threat to any mortal that dared to mess with me. I suddenly felt a soft hand along my side; I easily recognized it as Clare’s.

“We must leave Railrunner; the police will be here any minute!”

“Screw the police!” I said angrily.

“Railrunner look out!” Clare said suddenly pointing in front of her. I looked to see an eighteen wheeler speeding right for us; we had no time to get out of the way neither [sic].

What happened to his “sight like a dragon”, his ability to “hear anything and everything”, and his ability to “sense trouble” and “predict when things will happen”? How do you miss an eighteen wheeler till the last moment?

quote:

Acting on instinct, I wrapped my tail around and over Clare. I only had enough time to see that the man that I was just fighting with was driving.

How bloody long was Railrunner’s transformation sequence, that the would-be robber:

(a) could get away from the fight;

(b) run over to an eighteen-wheeler (which couldn’t have been nearby, or else it couldn’t have built up sufficient speed to be a danger);

(c) pick the eighteen-wheeler’s lock (presumably the eighteen-wheeler is someone else’s, as those are extremely unusual get-away vehicles for robbers and thieves); and

(d) drive it back to the scene of action?

:psyduck:

quote:

I held up my wheels and waited for the impact of the truck. When it did, my body felt like it had been hit by a tidal wave. My wheels screamed as the truck pushed me by sheer force into the wall. I shoved the truck back in return, tiring [/sic] to keep it from crushing Clare who was still screaming underneath my tail.

The air began to smell of burnt rubber, badly. It was overpowering, making everyone cough and gag. I knew this had to end; it couldn’t go on any longer and I wasn’t letting it. I forced a roar that was overheard by even the truck’s massive engine.

And now the truck’s engine (not the entire truck, just the engine) is apparently sentient and possessed of hearing organs, as it is able to “overhear” Railrunner’s roar. Do truck engines have a parallel dimension of their own as well?

quote:

I then set the motor ablaze. The truck caught on fire; there was little time before the flames reached the gas tank. I turned around and swiftly picked up Clare. I looked back to see that I was too late; I doubled over to shield Clare just as the semi exploded.

Blowing up an eighteen-wheeler is certainly an excellent way to keep a low profile! :downs:

quote:

When the smoke cleared from the gigantic blast, I got up to see that Clare was unharmed to my relief.

“Thanks for saving me.” She uttered still a bit shaken.

“Why do you always get yourself into trouble!” I laughed.

gently caress. You. It was your blood-lust that got her into trouble.

quote:

She looked at me bluntly for a minute, I started to fear that I had said something wrong. To my surprise she began to laugh along with me, but our moment was short lived as sirens sounded very near us.

“Thunderbark and the others!” I said putting Clare onto my back and running for the clearing. I stopped completely when I saw Thunderbark arching his back and snarling at dozens of cops.

“Stay down.” I whispered to Clare. She immediately obeyed as I joined Thunderbark. Every officer seemed to gasp in surprise as they glanced from Thunderbark to me. The white coaster then turned and began to speak harshly under his breath.

“Screw the police! What the hell were you thinking? Now you got all of us in trouble!”

I only growled in response. I roared loudly again, hoping to scare them off without harming any of them. That did not work because they fired. We immediately ran. Sly and Buddy escaped in my Hummer with all of our belongings, including mine. Us rides ran off into the night, and I was expecting Thunderbark to be very angry with me.

I’m surprised that Railrunner didn’t just stay behind and slaughter everyone.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 17:05

Iced Cocoa: Jul 14, 2011

quote:

“Well, I saw Clare - die. All those dreams led up to her death. The morning after I had my last one, I knew I could predict death. It was a pattern after all, every five and the fifth predicts death.”

“That’s how you could see what happened to Merrylegs in Trenzon.”

quote:

So why couldn’t he foresee Thunderbark being kidnapped?

Because Thunderbark was just being kidnapped, not killed. Which means that Merrylegs was going to be killed.

But that opens up a paradox. Just what kind of death prediction visions is Railrunner having? Back in chapter 49:

quote:

“Any last words before I gut you?” He growled.

“I have a question, what do you want with Clare? Why do you want to kill my love out of all the people in the real world?”

The evil king stared at me bluntly. “Clare? Who is she? This human you speak of is your girlfriend? I will look for her after I’m done with you and am off to the world where humans walk.” Ironwheel laughed.

Wait a minute, did he not even know about Clare! Was I seeing her death because I - told him of her existence! So her death was my fault? Or was Ironwheel lying? Hope it was the second one.

So when Merrylegs was about to die, according to Railrunner just now, Railrunner forsaw it (without seizures) and sprang into action. But when he's seeing Clare's death, he asks Ironwheel why he wants to kill her, which reveals in turn that Ironwheel had no idea who Clare was until Railrunner opened his mouth. So there it is revealed that his vision are of a Predestination Paradox kind. But that would have meant that Merrylegs would have died no matter what Railrunner did.

So Railrunner has visions that are both of the Predestination Paradox kind and of the regular kind. I would have thought that in any writing people would have stuck with one or the other. But not Miranda. Perhaps the vision with Merrylegs was previously just "see the future" kind of vision, not "see the death", but when she wanted to add the "see the death" visions, she added the Predestination Paradox in along with the seizures, and decided to make the vision of Merrylegs as a "see the death" vision. Or both visions were "see the death" vision to begin with which means Miranda is being inconsistent.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 17:25

pathetic little tramp: Dec 12, 2005; by Hillary Clinton's assassins; Fallen Rib

Jesus Christ this book just holy loving poo poo. Why the gently caress are you going to a gun store when it's about 15 minutes until sunset when you'll suddenly turn into giant roller coaster behemoths?

Where the Hell does Miranda Leek live that there are roaming gangs of 10 (12!) people hanging out in gun store parking lots looking to steal cars? It's like a game of Final Fight or whatever that game with Haggar is.

And every goddamn time Rodney gets into trouble, the moon just happens to be coming up, it's so loving lazy. What an unnecessary and frustrating chapter that made no sense (and only a roller coaster can harm another roller coaster except not really jk guys).

I have to finish reading this thread for completeness' sake, and thank you for the Hell you're putting yourself through, but please, how many more chapters are there? When does the hurting stop?

# ? Jun 22, 2013 17:33

Iced Cocoa: Jul 14, 2011

66 chapter. So there are only 10 more to go. Though keep in mind that JWKS might split up chapters because of post length or because of sanity preservation.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 17:36

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Iced Cocoa posted:

66 chapter. So there are only 10 more to go. Though keep in mind that JWKS might split up chapters because of post length or because of sanity preservation.

Mostly sanity preservation. This book can only be safely consumed in small doses.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 17:36

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

One might argue that there is no way to safely consume this book; rather, the dose is causing incredible, but barely survivable, pain.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 19:18

attackbunny: May 1, 2009

Pain shared is pain lessened! I'd never have read this far without company.

We're all here for you, JWKS. *solidarity fistbump*

quote:

“You can’t rebuild your past, but you can rebuild the future.” He said as he let a slight grin escape onto his face.

No you loving can't. The future hasn't been built yet. It would therefore be impossible to build it again. That would be the definition of the loving future; things that haven't happened yet.

quote:

“I told you before, a human rises with the sun, but I rise with the moon. I am a mere immortal soul that feasts on your fears and flesh.”

This is another ripoff from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Firebenders are solar-powered and gain power during the day, while waterbenders gain power with the full moon. A waterbender and a dorky firebender are having a dramatic fight when the sun rises and dorkface announces "You rise with the moon. I rise with the sun."

Just so everyone knows.

Not to mention, 'mere immortal soul'? Is this false humility or does Miranda not know what 'mere' means?

# ? Jun 22, 2013 19:55

Punished Chuck: Dec 27, 2010

quote:

Merrylegs punched a man in the jaw as Static got kicked in the ribs.

The way Static is constantly getting poo poo on by everyone, including the author, would be hilarious if it wasn't so baffling. What does Leek have against him?

# ? Jun 22, 2013 21:39

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

The way Static is constantly getting poo poo on by everyone, including the author, would be hilarious if it wasn't so baffling. What does Leek have against him?

A bumper car slaughtered her family.

# ? Jun 22, 2013 21:44

attackbunny: May 1, 2009

Mercedes posted:

A bumper car slaughtered her family.

I thought it was a police officer that slaughtered her family.

Maybe it was a police officer riding in a bumper car?

# ? Jun 22, 2013 22:52

Iced Cocoa: Jul 14, 2011

I think it has to do more with trying to make the female characters strong and powerful. Merrylegs get appropriate moments of weakness to fulfill the cliches, but it looks like Miranda tried to make Merrylegs the asskicking Ripley from Alien.

attackbunny posted:

Not to mention, 'mere immortal soul'? Is this false humility or does Miranda not know what 'mere' means?

This is kind of a "slip of the tongue". "Mere" is a very dramatic word and often used when saying something about power and being powerful. So I think Miranda typed as she thought without realizing just what she had typed in, just a slip of the tongue.

I got a similar story. My brother is a bit into cars, and when the H3 hummer was announced and he saw pictures of it, he told me: "The H3 is smaller than the H1 and the H2 combined!"

# ? Jun 23, 2013 00:39

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

I decided to test out this new headset I got today with a reading of Chapters 1-4.

I hope it's not terrible!

Kinu Nishimura fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Jun 23, 2013

# ? Jun 23, 2013 05:09

where the red fern gropes: Aug 24, 2011

I think ~~Miranda~~ Railrunner has a lack of time awareness, which would explain the constant jumps and lapses. It's like she just zones out for minutes at a time, and when she starts noticing things again, several minutes have passed that can't be accounted for.

Is this a trait commonly attributed to autism? It might be a different mental health problem that I'm thinking of, but this seems to explain a lot, including the bloodthirstiness and why everyone is nice to Railrunner all the time.

Autistic people aren't bloodthirsty monsters though - Railrunner's just a dick.

# ? Jun 23, 2013 07:51

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

alcharagia posted:

I decided to test out this new headset I got today with a reading of Chapters 1-4.

I hope it's not terrible!

If, by terrible, you mean terribly good, then it certainly is. :allears:

Dreggon posted:

I'm pretty sure Railrunner is just a complete sociopath.

# ? Jun 23, 2013 08:08

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 57 - Fire & Ice

quote:

We continued to run until the sirens faded off into the night. We stopped to pause in the middle of an empty street. I controlled my breath as I rested for a split second, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Thunderbark narrowing his at me. The icy blue in them turned as dark as the deep abyss.

Is Railrunner controlling his breath “for a split second” or resting “for a split second”? It doesn’t make sense either way, in any event.

quote:

It was apparent he was very angry at me and could snap at any moment. He was holding in his rage and soon he was about to release all of it upon me.

“Where to now?” Merrylegs asked.

For the first time Thunderbark did not step up and say anything, he stayed in his own cone of silence. I looked around at the street signs. The intersection was very clear in my mind, especially because I was on the road that I took to my old workplace.

“We can stay at the old cake factory.” I suggested, waiting for Thunderbark to speak up, but to my dismay he didn’t.

I didn’t dwell on it when this was brought up in Chapter 1, but seriously, what the heck is a “cake factory”? And what does a “cake factory engineer” do?

quote:

“Isn’t it still in business, Railrunner?” Static asked.

“No, they shut it down. That is why we got fired.” I said. My mind suddenly coming back to the day that I began to look for work, right after I heard the two horrible last words your boss says to you.

“Let’s go then. We need to get lost quick if we do not want the cops to find us.” Merrylegs said as Thunderbark cringed at her last words.

The factory turned out to be about three miles down the road. We now stood at the edge of its chain-linked fence looking up at. It was not a pretty or spectacular sight. The whole perimeter was overgrown with weeds. No car sat in the parking lot that was now scarred with cracks in the pavement. It was clear that from the view through the cracked windows that the machines were rusted. The whole factory looked to have been abandoned for years instead of months.

It’s the very presence of those abominations from hell that’s corroding the factory. Those monsters putrefy everything they touch.

quote:

I stood and waved a set of wheels before the chain link fence. It pulled away from its ties in a roll. I then ducked under and led everyone inside the factory’s grounds. Sly parked the Hummer behind a gathering of thick trees, and then he grabbed our belongings from the trunk. I immediately took my bag from him and went to the back door. Thunderbark followed me silently; his head still hung low holding it all back. I expected him to go off like a bomb any second as I entered the warm building and switched on the lights.

How can the building be “warm”? It’s been abandoned for a while and it’s currently night-time, so shouldn’t it be the same temperature as outside?

quote:

Every machine was covered in cobwebs and dust. Everything seemed to be untouched. I hung my bag on a nearby hook as everyone else entered the factory. Looking among the gears and conveyor belts brought back memories, memories that only came faintly.

Are… are cakes made on conveyor belts in Tennessee? I am completely unaware of how things work in that great and increasingly mystifying state.

quote:

“Whelp, make yourselves at home.” I mumbled out as I turned to see Thunderbark staring at my face with his wheels clenched in fist.

Is it even possible to make a fist with finger-wheels as big as what we’ve seen in Miranda Leek’s pictures?

quote:

I sighed, I had been right.

88th sigh of the book.

quote:

“Go ahead and say it, you know you want to.” I said sternly and also grabbing everyone’s attention. Thunderbark then laid a wheel firmly on my chest and glared into my eyes with solid anger.

“You have got to be the dumbest roller coaster I’ve ever met!” he hissed.

“What the hell is your problem, Thunderbark!”

“My problem? My problem is I’m tired of you being a smartass! All you ever do is drink and choose to do the stupidest of decisions!”

In this case, “drinking” doesn’t matter since Railrunner can’t get drunk anyway. He’s perfectly capable of being stupid while completely sober. Thunderbark’s an idiot for mentioning “drinking”.

quote:

“Shut up Thunderbark!” I retorted.

“No! The stunt you pulled back there delayed us and put every innocent human in danger!”

The policemen and FBI officers whom Railrunner and Thunderbark have slaughtered are not “innocent” because

quote:

“FOR YOUR INFORMATION I WAS SAVING CLARE! IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT WE GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE SITUATION!” I yelled at him. My wheels were trembling in anger, I tried to walk away to cool off, but Thunderbark started it up again.

If you look at how the confrontation with the would-be robbers began and progressed, you’ll see that it really was Railrunner’s fault.

quote:

“YOU KNOW RAILRUNNER, I SOMETIMES WONDER HOW YOU GOT TO BE SO STUBBORN!”

“HMMM - WHY DON’T YOU ASK THE GUY THAT ACTIVATED ME! AFTER ALL, HE KNEW ME EVER SINCE I WAS BORN!” I screamed back at him.

“I’M TIRED OF YOU ACTING THIS WAY!” he roared.

“I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOUR rear end ROT IN THAT CELL!” I snarled.

“MAYBE!”

I turned around to face him again, a lump in my throat formed as I prepared to yell again.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT MY MOTHER WAS THINKING WHEN SHE MADE YOU MY GODFATHER! BECAUSE YOU SURE AREN’T ONE!”

I get the feeling that Miranda Leek is working out her teenage rebellion issues in this section.

quote:

Thunderbark went silent; he only looked at me in disbelief. He then turned his attention to the floor while I breathed hard from the argument. The white roller coaster then went into an office and pulled a few desks
together and lay on top of them. He then dimmed the lights in the small room. Everyone’s eyes were wearing into me. I turned and snorted in disgust, and then I leaped from the first to the second floor. I didn’t look back as I entered my boss’s old observation tower. I sat in the corner like a kid with a dunce cap on, and it sure felt like it too.

Do all factories have “observation towers”, or just factories in Tennessee?

quote:

“What have I just done!”

For the past hour I layed [sic] on the iron floor under my cloak with my left eye barely peeking out as I rolled an empty fire extinguisher back and forth across the room. During the passed time I found myself bingeing on old cake.

What the hell kind of chemicals are they putting in that cake, for it to have lasted so long? :stare:

quote:

It wasn’t the greatest by any standard, but I could stomach anything. It was somewhat funny that I never did binge eating during my years as a human; guess it was a roller coaster habit, after all my stress levels had been through the roof lately. However my thoughts on what I had said to Thunderbark earlier consumed nearly all of the time I spent grieving.

As I sat there pondering on my next move, I heard footsteps coming up the metal stairs. Could it possibly be Thunderbark? Couldn’t be because the steps were light.

Why couldn’t it be Thunderbark just because the steps were light? Aren’t roller coasters supposed to be masters of stealth?

quote:

Static hated going up stairs so it was not him.

That implies that he can go up stairs. How does a bumper car even manage to do that in the first place?

quote:

It was probably either Merrylegs or Clare. Within seconds they both entered the room cautiously.

“Railrunner?” asked Clare looking around the corner.

“Come in.” I said not moving a muscle. Clare and Merrylegs walked inside nervously. They both stopped and stood in the center of the cramped room.

“One of you can go tell Thunderbark that he can kill me if he wants.” I said rolling onto my back. I moved the trench coat out of the way to see them both staring at me with their eyes full of worry. Clare came over and sat on my chest, as Merrylegs moved even closer.

“We are certainly not going to tell him to kill you Railrunner.”

“I started the whole thing! I caused us to lose precious time! Now that I screwed up, the cops know that there are more of us!” I said in protest.

“Railrunner! Get a hold of yourself and calm down!” Merrylegs said in return.

I took a deep breath and sighed. “What is Thunderbark up to?”

89th sigh of the book.

quote:

“He has just been reading a book of his.” Clare said softly.

He’s just opening and closing the book repeatedly (just by what he did in Chapter 7) and Clare is mistaking this for “reading”.

quote:

“Thunderbark hates me.” I said crossing my arms.

“He is just upset.” Merrylegs said.

“I need to apologize; I caused the whole mess and the argument. Merrylegs can you tell Thunderbark that I wish to do that? Basically ask him for his permission?”

Merrylegs nodded and trotted out of the room. Clare lay down fully onto me, her head about a foot from my chin. She looked around the room at the empty cake boxes.

“Did you eat all of those?” she said almost laughing.

“Yeah, I’m guilty.”

“How come you ate the cake and not my pancakes?”

“You know about that!”

“Yes, Huck got a belly ache.”

That’s from Chapter 27:

“That would be fine.” I replied. I didn’t really like pancakes anymore.
Clare’s dog, Huck, sat by my side begging for food with sad eyes. When Clare had her back turned, I scooted the pancakes onto the floor for Huck. He picked them up and ran out of the room with his tail wagging.”

And it goes on the list of Railrunner’s offences.

quote:

“I guess I was upset and started to consume whatever was available.”

Clare began to laugh again, and then it became silent once more. All we could hear was the scuffling around by our troop downstairs. I sighed and let my head fall backwards against a metal support.

90th sigh of the book.

quote:

Clare rolled over onto her belly, her frail body rising up and down along with my chest as I inhaled and exhaled.

Miranda Leek seems to have some strange fascination with “inhale / exhale” as a replacement for “breathing”:

Chapter 4

Railrunner fell to the ground in exhaustion. Inhaling and exhaling heavily.

Chapter 41

I stared up into the cloud filled sky blankly. I inhaled and exhaled harshly, completely out of breath.

quote:

“I bet Thunderbark is too angry to speak with me,” I said starting the conversation again.

“I think, in my opinion, Thunderbark seems like a forgiver.” Clare said.

I breathed heavily, my chest rumbled as my breath blew Clare’s hair back. It hovered for a split second before it fell loosely around her broad shoulders. Her nose flared and she waved her hand around.

“Your breath isn’t all that pleasant, it kind of smells bitter, no offence.” Clare giggled.

“I know don’t rub it in.” I laughed. I didn’t mind Clare saying my breath stunk; we sort of did stuff like that to each other all the time.

“Oh well, as I was saying I think Thunderbark just got mad because he cares about you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “He sort of has a funny way of showing it sometimes.” I replied.

“If I remember correctly, you said that the rides from Amusement Park Between come from the real world when they are put into storage because they are no longer used, am I correct?”

“Yes, right on the dot.”

“Well, technically speaking, Thunderbark never, you know, had a true dad. Other than the guy who kept him, but I guess that doesn’t count.”

That actually raises something I never thought of before. Why do amusement park rides even have the concept of “godfather”, when none of them (except for the reds) are born, and even the reds (being immaculately conceived) have no “fathers”?

quote:

“Are you saying that Thunderbark is trying to be a good guardian, but he doesn’t know if he is doing it correctly?” I questioned.

“Yeah, he seems unsure about it. Kind of like he doesn’t know if he is doing it right or wrong.”

“I see, it is sort of like trying to tell the difference between fire and ice.”

“You are funny, but you’re on the right track.”

Merrylegs suddenly walked into the cramped room. She showed no expression across her face.

“Well?” I asked curiously.

“I think he is still a little upset, but he did say yes.”

I nodded in response as Clare climbed off of me. I stood upright and popped my back. I then exited the tower with Merrylegs and Clare not far behind. I walked in a trance down the iron stairs trying to concur up some words to say to Thunderbark.

Who wants to bet that Thunderbark ends up apologizing to Railrunner instead?

# ? Jun 23, 2013 10:43

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

alcharagia posted:

I decided to test out this new headset I got today with a reading of Chapters 1-4.

I hope it's not terrible!

This is a thing of beauty. :allears:

# ? Jun 23, 2013 10:59

crime weed: Nov 9, 2009

JosephWongKS posted:

Who wants to bet that Thunderbark ends up apologizing to Railrunner instead?

My bets are on a mutual apology, actually.

Except thunderbark will be the sorrier of the two.

# ? Jun 23, 2013 11:09

attackbunny: May 1, 2009

alcharagia posted:

I decided to test out this new headset I got today with a reading of Chapters 1-4.

I hope it's not terrible!

This is awesome. So smug! So whiny! Perfect Railrunner voice!

quote:

The factory turned out to be about three miles down the road.

Implying that Railrunner was previously unaware of the location of his workplace. The only explanation is that the Hunterville Cake Factory routinely seized employees from their homes before dawn and took them to work blindfolded in the back of a bus.

quote:

“I’M TIRED OF YOU ACTING THIS WAY!” he roared.

“I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOUR rear end ROT IN THAT CELL!” I snarled.

"I'm sick of you making stupid, stupid decisions!"
"I should have left you to get ~~horribly tortured to death~~ rehabilitated in one of Ironwheel's caring and humane prisons."

JosephWongKS posted:

Are… are cakes made on conveyor belts in Tennessee? I am completely unaware of how things work in that great and increasingly mystifying state.

Google assures me that this is what cake factories look like.

quote:

The white roller coaster then went into an office and pulled a few desks together and lay on top of them.

'A few desks' can support a creature around seventeen feet tall and weighing twenty thousand pounds.

JosephWongKS posted:

Do all factories have “observation towers”, or just factories in Tennessee?

Observation windows, yeah, but a whole tower? I'm getting the definite impression that Railrunner's old boss was a supervillain.

JosephWongKS posted:

What the hell kind of chemicals are they putting in that cake, for it to have lasted so long?

Supervillain chemicals.

attackbunny fucked around with this message at 12:38 on Jun 23, 2013

# ? Jun 23, 2013 12:36

where the red fern gropes: Aug 24, 2011

quote:

“Isn’t it still in business, Railrunner?” Static asked.

“No, they shut it down. That is why we got fired.”

attackbunny posted:

Observation windows, yeah, but a whole tower? I'm getting the definite impression that Railrunner's old boss was a supervillain.

wait

"The Simpsons wiki posted:

Homer Jay Simpson
Age 36/38/39

How old is Railrunner again?

...

# ? Jun 23, 2013 14:13

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Dreggon posted:

Look at the finger-wheels on his top left hand. How is he forming a fist with his second-top left hand and top right hand. How.

# ? Jun 23, 2013 14:22

where the red fern gropes: Aug 24, 2011

JosephWongKS posted:

Look at the finger-wheels on his top left hand. How is he forming a fist with his second-top left hand and top right hand. How.

Well, the wheels are

Well, they're in his

if you look closely

gently caress it I don't even know :negative:

# ? Jun 23, 2013 14:59

Rahonavis: Jan 11, 2012; "Clevuh gurrrl..."

Dreggon posted:

Well, the wheels are

Well, they're in his

if you look closely

gently caress it I don't even know

Meanwhile, I still can't help but read the first pair of seats as his "eyes".

# ? Jun 23, 2013 17:40

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

I'm sure glad you guys liked it, otherwise this one would've gone to waste.

# ? Jun 23, 2013 18:49

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

"We got pretty lucky on our transportation," Thunderbolt explained as he led his companions across the planks of Voodoo Town. "I found us a swinging ship that'll get us pretty close to our destination."

Terry nodded and smiled, but Detective Black asked, "Swinging ship?"

"Oh, right, sorry. There are three major types of watercraft in Park Beyond," Thunderbolt began, holding up a finger for each category. "First, there are cruise ships and yachts. These need to be piloted like any ordinary ship in your world. Second, you have theme ships which come with their own crew of automatons. The accommodations aren't as nice, but the crew was born for their jobs. Third are the living vessels, rides who crossed over like the rest of us. There are only so many seats, but since the ship itself is alive, you can't find a smoother, faster ride anywhere."

"Tiny crews, too. Fewer witnesses for Raptor's rides to track down," Terry added.

"True. I only wish we could have found an inverted ship. All those metal screens make for good protection."

The three made their way along the docks until they reached a curved Viking ship made of molded fiberglass and steel. Round shields painted with unique designs lined each side of the ship and concealed three doors on the railing which passengers were already using to board the vessel and sit on the green padded seats. Thunderbolt approached a monkey automaton balanced on top of a purple and yellow shield and said, "These are the friends I told you about." The creature nodded and permitted the group to board and take adjacent seats near the stern.

"I've seen some living ships negotiate themselves in human form, but this one apparently prefers not to shift," Thunderbolt mentioned as they adjusted their seat harnesses. "She hired Checkers there to book passage on her behalf. He also hides underwater when the tax collectors come so they don't have to pay as much, so I don't think they'll be turning us in if they find out who we are."

When the last passenger settled in, the boat was around two-thirds full. Checkers turned around to face them from his midship location, as the seats all faced the center of the vessel. "Ladies and gentlemen, we will now be heading up Cedar River from Voodoo Town to Riverside Park. The trip will take about ten hours, and meals will be available halfway through. Please ensure that you and the passengers next to you are fully secured and do not unlock your restraints until we are fully underway."

The ship jolted to a start and pushed out into the wide river. Detective Black strained to look around between the heavy overhead restraint, but he could see no means for the ship to propel itself. A massive steel pole came up from the center of the ship, but it held a large counterweight instead of a sail. Despite this, the ship picked up considerable speed as it moved into the center of the current, and the thick wall of trees sped past on either side. A few minutes later, a series of clicks came from just behind the passengers' heads, indicating they could now lift the restraints and move about the ship.

# ? Jun 23, 2013 18:50

Iced Cocoa: Jul 14, 2011

~~Sometimes tonight~~ Sometimes after the next review I'm going to go over my notes on all the hints and snippets Leek has posted about the sequel, Vertigo, and tell you about the basic plot of it along with the illustrations that were posted on DA, intended to be the actual book illustrations. But while you wait, have this, the cover/spine/backcover of Twisted:

Yes, that's Twissted. Two s. That was intentional.

Iced Cocoa fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Jun 23, 2013

# ? Jun 23, 2013 19:55

Vonder: May 8, 2007; They've got a spider baby!

I marathoned this thread over the last few days and this book is the worst. It was probably a bad idea to consume so much terrible so quickly, but I think I'm ok.

Or maybe not because I recorded this excerpt from chapter 35. This is the first time I've ever recorded something on my computer and uploaded it on the internet so I hope you guys like it.

Edit: ugh, I don't know how to just make it play on the site instead of having to download it.

Vonder fucked around with this message at 21:18 on Jun 23, 2013

# ? Jun 23, 2013 21:14

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Vonder posted:

drat, now I feel sorry for Merrylegs.

Great reading. :allears:

# ? Jun 23, 2013 21:28

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Iced Cocoa posted:

~~Sometimes tonight~~ Sometimes after the next review I'm going to go over my notes on all the hints and snippets Leek has posted about the sequel, Vertigo, and tell you about the basic plot of it along with the illustrations that were posted on DA, intended to be the actual book illustrations. But while you wait, have this, the cover/spine/backcover of Twisted:

Yes, that's Twissted. Two s. That was intentional.

But she spells it with one "s" on her Deviantart posts:

http://railrunnermiranda.deviantart.com/ posted:

~railrunnermiranda

Miranda Leek
Artist | Professional
United States

My name is Miranda Leek. I am an 20 year old self taught artist, who has a passion for drawing and writing. I've had a deep love for fantasy ever since I was little and I have been drawing for four years. All of my works come out of my mind as I scribble them onto paper.Right now, I'm studying illustration at Ringling College of Art and Design in Florida.I am also an author. My book “Twisted!” is now available ONLINE at amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, booksamillion.com, borders.com, and gohastings.com.

http://railrunnermiranda.deviantart.com/journal/Busy-editing-Twisted-Angeltrack-Sorage-etc-376773616/ posted:

Hello watchers, I now have my hardrive fixed in my mac so I'm back...... but busy as hell. Here's why for those who don't know:

Okay, it's been a little while since I've commented and did a few things on here so I'll share why.

Most of you know that I'm doing a re release of Twisted this summer, but this is what I'm doing to it.

1: New cover. My style has changed a lot since 2007 (when I first started to draw)

2: New interior illustrations. Like I said, I HATE my old art and I've practiced Twisted's characters enough to where I can draw them as I imagined them.

3: I've said nothing about this, but to those that have actually read Twisted will know where I'm coming from. I wrote Twisted when I was much younger (Its been like 5 years) and my writing style has transformed beyond the quality of the current version of Twisted. To match to quality of the recent sequels to Twisted, I've decided to go in and do lots of rewriting. NOTE: I'm not changing the story! Or what happens, I'm just bringing the text to my current standards.

Pretty much I'm giving Twisted a facelift. So why am I doing this? Well, I hate to even look at the old one since I've come so far. And two. I am actually having a booksigning at Hastings in Murfreesboro TN on August 3rd. So excited!

Also, I've put some of my old work into storage (I hope I did it right.) And I've been thinking about it and I've put quite bit of my character, Angeltrack into storage. With some still not smart enough to understand that she's a work of irony and I'm getting ready to publish Twisted, it seemed right. Angeltrack is not in the book (only briefly mentioned, her story is a prequel to Twisted) and I just want to promote the characters that are in the book itself. And since DA STILL has not dealt away with "MLT" you may realize why. There are sill a few drawings of Angeltrack, but you won't see her anytime soon. I'm doing the illustrations for Twisted and quite frankly, I just haven't felt like drawing her. Sorry for the inconvenience. I'll pull her from storage in time though.

Anyway, sorry for neglecting comments I'm working day to night on Twisted, and I'll reply in time.

Again, sorry for all of this and I hope you all understand.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Jun 24, 2013

# ? Jun 23, 2013 23:18

Iced Cocoa: Jul 14, 2011

JosephWongKS posted:

But she spells it with one "s" on her Deviantart posts:

My bet is that she later changed her mind. In the notes I gathered about Vertigo (before she purged her gallery) she spells it Twissted. Here she spells it Twissted while discussing the evils of spellcheck and how she's editing Vertigo (in 2011)

Edit: Miranda what the gently caress did you draw? Is this really going to be in the new edition?!

# ? Jun 23, 2013 23:32

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Iced Cocoa posted:

That's a very... interesting perspective and composition.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 02:31 on Jun 24, 2013

# ? Jun 23, 2013 23:38

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

I'm sorry, I... I couldn't maintain professionalism for Chapter 11. I hope you can forgive me.

# ? Jun 24, 2013 02:09

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER :siren:

1. Massive dose of "real-world" (as opposed to roller coaster vs bumper car) racism
2. Solid confirmation that Clare turns into Shadowtrack at the end of the book

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Jun 24, 2013

# ? Jun 24, 2013 04:59

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

NO! NO!

# ? Jun 24, 2013 05:02

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

Watching other people suffer through the same thing I am suffering through helps me to not notice my own suffering, so this next chapter should be real fun. Already alcharagia has made me laugh evilly, and we haven't even started the chapter!

# ? Jun 24, 2013 05:08

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 58 - No Trespassing
Part One of Two

quote:

I motioned toward the office door; the words I was to speak repeated themselves inside my head like an incantation.

“Moved toward” =/= “Motioned toward”

quote:

My blood ran cold within my piping hot veins as I grasped the old door knob.

Although Amusement Park Between may be more “technologically advanced” than the “real world”, the latter can at least boast of having the same type of door-opening technology as the former:

Chapter 49

Then at the top of the stairs was a small room with a circular door. The knob in the middle resembled a skull.

quote:

I slowly peeked my head inside to see that Thunderbark held his great head low over a thick book.

“Peeked inside” =/= “Peeked my head inside”

quote:

His small beard and long eyebrows draped downward making him look old even though he was immortal. Thunderbark’s overall appearance made him look like a Chinese master.

It is incongruous to find an immortal person looking “old”, since all immortals in literature and mythology are possessed of youthful appearance, including such notables as Gandalf, Zeus and Odin.

quote:

“Yes, Railrunner?” he said finally realizing that I was there.

“I have something to say,” I muttered.

“You may go ahead.” Thunderbark replied looking up.

“I’m really sorry for what I said earlier. I am just - extremely stressed out right now about everything that is going to happen.”

Thunderbark looked into my eyes with his. Their icy blue coloring began to return. Unexpectedly, a small smile crept across Thunderbark’s face.

“I can understand why you act so crude sometimes; I know what you are talking about so I am not angry. You have gone through a lot Railrunner, and I accept your apology. I’m very glad you brought up the courage to do so.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

All tension must be resolved by the next chapter. NO EXCEPTIONS.

At least Thunderbark didn’t end up apologizing to Railrunner.

quote:

“You’re welcome. Now, I’m going to share with you a new discovery I have just come across. I believe it will bring your hopes up.” Thunderbark said turning the pages of the book. I watched the crinkled paper fall repeatedly as he flipped through them. Then Thunderbark stopped on page five hundred. Two words that were in bold letters pronounced their selves on the page very clearly.

Vadaier Sorum

I knew only one of the words. Sorum meant curse, but I had no clue to what the other word meant.

“What is this Thunderbark?” I asked.

“As everyone knows, no human can enter Amusement Park Between, but I came across a curse that only a coaster can perform. Railrunner, you have the power to turn Clare into -.”

“A roller coaster.” I said finishing his sentence. The words catching in my mouth.

quote:

“Yes.”

My mind started to race again. Clare had a chance! She could live! Clare could come to my world! Be with me and have the gift of immortality! My own kind!

“I’m going to carry that out as soon as possible,” I said a little to [sic] wrapped up in my own thoughts.

Holy poo poo you just cannot get more selfish and self-centred than Railrunner. Not even the slightest thought for what she might want. I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“I’m afraid Railrunner; it does not work that way.”

“What do you mean?” I said thudding to reality.

“It is a bit more complicated than one would think. There are certain standards to the curse.”

“What are they?” I said leaning against an exposed pipe.

“First of all, Clare has to be willing to give up of being human blood. Remember this, she cannot ever go back! What is done can never be undone!”

“Got it.”

He treats it so nonchalantly, as though it were a minor technical requirement like “the ritual needs to be done in temperatures above 30 degrees Celsius”. I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“Second, the curse can only be performed on her dying breath.”

“So -,” I said sliding down onto the floor. “I have to let her suffer before she -.”

Wasn’t he already “on” the floor? He hadn’t climbed up onto anything since he entered the room. I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“I’m afraid so, Railrunner.”

It became dead quiet in the musty room. I sat and thought about the situation, racking my wheels on the floor as I did so. Thunderbark looked at me, waiting for an answer. I turned my attention to him and nodded as my response.

“How do I actually turn her into a roller coaster?”

“Railrunner you have to - bite her.” He said swallowing hard.

“Bite her?” I questioned, not sure if I had heard him right.

A world so “imaginative” they are just like vampires and werewolves of “real world” mythology. I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“Yes.”

I thought hard about the fact. It felt so criminal to bite someone so innocent, more so my girlfriend. I wished that biting her was extraneous. Yet, I had to, I could not let Clare squander away! Our love did not have to be forbidden once my tooth pierced her soft skin.

“I’ll do it Thunderbark.” I said at last.

Thunderbark: “First of all, Clare has to be willing to give up of being human blood.”

Railrunner: “Got it.”

~~Clare: "I'm okay with the idea. Go ahead."~~

Railrunner: “I’ll do it Thunderbark.”

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“Good, I think you will be very happy with your decision later.”

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“Now here are a few things you might want to know. Usually when a roller coaster bites its victim on their last breath, the human will turn into the exact type and color.”

Wait, “usually”? This means that it’s possible for other coasters to create human-coasters, and that it’s been done before. What happened to “All amusement park rides are created from decommissioned and/or destroyed rides in the real world”? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“A red however, is very different. You get to choose the type of coaster and color.”

“Because as always, there can only be one red.”

“Exactly.” Thunderbark said with a big grin across his face.

Someone in the year AD 2010: “A woman must possess no independent personality or agency, but must mold herself physically and mentally to fit the desires of her male guardian.”

I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.

quote:

“I’m very glad you told me about this Thunderbark. I’m happy there is a way.” I thanked him.

Suddenly my leather began to prickle. I heard steps on the rooftop, and they were not ordinary, I recognized them before. This time I would be thirsty for revenge. I growled deeply in my chest. Thunderbark looked at me in alarm. He too began to listen intently, and then he started to growl along with me.

If Railrunner’s and Thunderbark’s intention is to capture and/or kill the intruder instead of chasing her away, why do they give away their knowledge of her presence by gratuitously growling? Aren’t they supposed to be masters of stealth? Why is everyone in this book so utterly loving stupid? I hate this book and I hate Railrunner and I hate Thunderbark and I hate everything they stand for.

JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 09:24 on Jun 24, 2013

# ? Jun 24, 2013 06:53

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# ? Jun 6, 2023 01:32

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

# ? Jun 24, 2013 07:06

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Where I Read: Miranda Leek's "Twisted"

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