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Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:



Chapter 1: History

Wait, I'm forgetting something

:nms:Chapter Image
There we go.

Prehistory
65 million years ago(not really, but that's what the book says) Australia broke away from Gondwanaland, isolating some of the most unique species in the world! To be detailed next chapter.

First Settlement
Around 60,000 years ago, humans migrated to Australia over the ice shelfs from Indonesia... wait what? The ice shelf didn't extend that far south, that's drat near the equator.

Also they apparently looked like this.

The War of Rage and the Impergium
So like the Children of Gaia, the Bunyip abhor violence, except they went one step further. When the war of rage started off, they all retreated into the umbra and prayed to Gaia to guide them to a 'land unspoiled by the ravages of hatred'. She led them to Australia, and they enacted powerful rituals to seal off the Australian Umbra(Henceforth known as the Dreamtime) from the rest of the world. "In this way the Bunyip became, like the flora and fauna of Australia, isolated from external influence, maintaining much knowledge that was lost to the Garou during the War of Rage."
Then the Bunyip began exploring the continent, finding it was already settled by a people living in harmony with the world as hunter-gatherers. They had strong spiritual links to the land, and as such the Bunyip never needed to enact the Impergium.

quote:

For this reason, pure-blood Aboriginals do not suffer the Delirium. In addition, those aboriginals closely tied to their spiritual traditions also exhibit a resistance to the Delirium.
No, they do not give mechanics for this, and I think we can be thankful. It would probably be something like "For every dot in Perform: Didgeridoo, treat the Aboriginal as if they had 2 more willpower".

quote:

Guided by the Bunyip, Australia's people continued to maintain a social structure that respected the individual and the environment.
There's also heavy evidence of intertribal warfare, but, you know, they respected the environment so they're better than you.
There were Wyrm beasts on Australia as well, but they were all slain or bound by the Bunyip. "In the respite that followed, the Bunyip began to breed with thylacines, wolflike marsupials native to Australia, and forged powerful alliances with native spirits." Uhm..

Wikipedia posted:

Female
Female marsupials have two lateral vaginas, which lead to separate uteri, but both open externally through the same orifice. A third canal, the median vagina, is used for birth.
Male
Most male marsupials have a bifurcated penis, separated into two columns, so that the penis has two ends corresponding to the females' two vaginas.
The male thylacine had a pouch.
Both sexes possess a cloaca.
:airquote:Wolflike

After that, the bunyip retreated from the physical world, content to observe the Aboriginals from the Penumbra. The rest of the Garou nation, in the meantime, thought that the Bunyip had fallen into Harano and allied with the Wyrm. The rest of the Fera, including the Mokole, apparently didn't want to leave their kinfolk so they ignored Australia completely.
Man, if only they had known all you have to do is find an animal that vaguely looks like you and you're golden.

Initial Contact
The Chinese apparently visited the 1400's, and the Portuguese mapped much of western Australia in the 16th century, but saw little value in the country. "The Bunyip ensured that these early visitors saw none of the beauty of the continent, but were greeted by brushfires, blowflies and sand." The first Englisman to visit the continent was William Dampier, who landed on the northwestern coast and shot an Aboriginal "setting the tone for the next 300 years of white conquest." Captain James Cook was empowered by the Technocracy to 'de-mystify the southern continent' and used his powers to penetrate the Bunyip wards to see the fertile eastern seaboard for what it really was.

European Invasion
The first support for The Beatles came in December 1963
After the uppity Americans declared independence in 1776, the British needed a new dumping ground for their "unwanted masses, criminals, and political prisoners, invariably commoners." Simultaneously, the kindred who 'infested' the monarchy and ruling class, sought to spread their influence far beyond the homelands of the Antedeluvians, the technocracy threw in their hat with the vampires because... they don't give a reason.
The Silver Fangs who had kin amongst the British aristocracy opposed the colonization, but once they were defeated they threw in as much support as possible so that they could plant their flag first and declare rulership. Of course since there were also a lot of Irish convicts, and the British apparently uprooted entire kinfolk families to transport them to Australia there were a lot of Fianna as well. There were also a few banes that got transported over on the ships, "nourished on the suffering of the convicts." On January 20th, 1788 they landed on Botany Bay, but saw that it was an absolute hellhole, and some marines sailed north to found Sydney on January 26th.

What this picture has to do with the founding of Australia, however, I have no idea.

The Fianna, Silver Fangs,and Bone Gnawers were entrusted with the task of ensuring that the British didn't gently caress up Australia too badly, not knowing that the Bunyip were already there. The Garou were lead by Earl Blaze of Uffington, who's kinfolk served in the House of Lords. "Earl Blaze was a fierce imperialist and fervently believed in the Gaia-given right of the nobility to dominate the common herd. He also believed the Silver Fangs were Gaia's chosen children, appointed to rule over the other Garou." Of course the first Garou to set foot on Australian soil was Porkchop, a charismatic Bone Gnawer determined to make a name for her tribe. As a reward, Earl Blaze of Uffington dispatched her pack to scout out the lands surrounding Sydney Cove, in hopes that they'd die horribly while he installed himself as the new King of Australia. But then Porkchop came back and informed him that the Bunyip were already here. I can only presume his monocle flew across the room in a comic fashion.

quote:

Blaze, far from welcoming the discovery that his responsibilities in Australia were limited only to the European settlements rather than the continent as a whole, was mortally insulted. He had spent months readying himself to be a great leader and did not take kindly to having his ambitions dashed. Earl Blaze took refuge in bigotry, claiming that the Bunyip's isolation must have rendered them hopelessly inferior to European Garou and thus unfit to rule Australia. This view was not shared by all the newly arrived Garou, but only Raymond Love-of-the-Goddess, a Child of Gaia, spoke out against Blaze's decree. As punishment, Earl Blaze banished Raymond to Norfolk Island.
I guess we can retroactively subtract points from TB:CoG Revised for not only remembering this bit character from a horrible book, but expanding on his story.

The Bunyip, for their part, remained aloof and distant in the Dreamtime, ignoring the European Garou. After months of attempts to get in touch with the Bunyip leader to no avail, Earl Blaze attempted to force their hand by abducting seven Aboriginal kinfolk. "The Aboriginals perceived the European Garou to be enemies of the Dreamtime and knew that they could not allow the Bunyip to be corrupted by them. They began to will their own deaths, and within a week all of them were dead." Bunyip: too good for this sinful earth.


Yet again we have random art out of nowhere, between this and the Not!Maori from earlier I'm beginning to think that they just grabbed random art from wherever they could find it and shoved it in.

Rather than blaming himself for the death of the Aboriginals "who in his eyes were only primitive blacks" he blamed the Bunyip. Because they would not respect him, a Silver Fang and Gaia's Chosen, they must be creatures of the Wyrm. I'm beginning to think that the only reason the Silver Fang's tribal weakness is "mental instability" is so that they can have the leaders of the Garou make profoundly stupid leaps of logic like this. Of course the rest of the Garou Nation believed him, except for good old Raymond, but he was kind of in a death-prison-camp within a death-prison-continent so he was dying, and only Luther Gazes-Inwards, a Stargazer, believed him.

Tensions between the Silver Fangs and the Fianna flared during the Castle Hill rebellion. When a pack of Fianna, led by Bridget of the Flashing Eyes, went straight to Earl Blaze and were ripped apart by his guards, but not before Bridget and her brother wishboned the Earl. His successor, Greymane Sleekfur, wisely sidestepped outright civil war by declaring that the lives of 6 Fianna were worth one king. Of course his amnesty didn't extend to the Bunyip or the Aboriginals.


Wow, relevant art that isn't horrible. Excellent.

The Europeans kept sending more people to Australia, as well as free settlers who wanted out from under the crowns boot. The Garou thought that the Bunyip had been unfit guardians of the Continent since they let half of the continent be the outback and thought that the Europeans would be better.

"For this reason the Garou did little to halt the European transformation of the Australian landscape until it was too late."

:doh:

Further Colonies
In 1803, Tasmania was settled...

quote:

Shortly afterward, the extermination of the island's original inhabitants began. Truganini, the last full-blooded Tasmanian Aboriginal died in 1876 at the age of 73, after being repeatedly raped and witnessing both the murder of her family and the exploitation of her homeland.
Nope pretty sure that didn't happen, or they're taking extreme poetic license. To make this lapse in historical accuracy even more jarring, they continue.

quote:

Black furies, led by Athena Mother's-Child, reveled in Tasmania's rugged wilderness, although they were spurned by the Bunyip. In later years, after the War of Tears, the Black Furies were ousted from Tasmania by the Shadow Lords. Enmity exists between the two tribes to this day.
I didn't remove any text between these sentences, or even a paragraph break. They go straight from "a woman was raped for this island" to "The Black Furies Loved it here". To be fair Truganini was probably like, three when the Black Furies settled the island, but the proximity of these two sentences is off putting. Also, this is the “sensitivity and care” with which they said they would treat the aboriginal history.

Other settlements followed the establishment of Tazmania. Queensland in 1825, and Western Australia in 1829. Both were championed by James Stirling, the son-in-law of a powerful director of the East India Company. Now it gets weird.

quote:

He became it's first governor, and was the only Australian governor to lead an attack upon an Aboriginal settlement personally. Stirling, a Hermetic mage of considerable power, needed isolation and an imprisoned population upon which to experiment. He sought and successfully attained immortality, and dwells within Perth to this day. In it's early years Perth was almost destroyed, as the Bunyip worked with the spirits to ensure drought and famine plagued the settlement. Only Stirling's magick kept the colony alive.
Yup, James Stirling was a mage, and he's still alive! In Perth!

South Australia is apparently a nice place because it didn't receive any convicts. Apparently 'not having convicts' means that they were guided by more 'enlightened principles', and the spiritual environment was never stained by the emotional blight of convict labor.



Since we're talking about how much South Australia didn't have slaves, have two pictures depicting slavery

Then Melbourne was founded, and the Glass Walkers tried to get in on the ground floor to guide it into a utopia that is a part of Gaia rather than a Blight upon her.

The Rise of the Squattocracy
At the beginning of the Colonization, the Wyrm was quiet, content to just let the humans get a base set up. By the 1830's they controlled the economy and had caused excessive violence towards convicts and Aboriginals, feeding the banes and hoping to corrupt the Dreamtime enough to let the Wyrm in. To this end, the servant of the Wyrm formed the Squatter's Council. Most didn't know that they were serving the Wyrm, but they served him nonetheless. They bribed Thomas Mitchell, the explorer-in-chief of Australia, to open up the grazing lands beyond the Great Dividing Range. And apparently the book finds it important to tell us that Mitchell was the first person to use "Dispersion" as a euphemism for the "wholesale murder of Aboriginals".

On the surface, the Squattocracy wanted wealth, property, and prestige. Of course they were manipulated by the servants of the Wyrm "including at least one Leech and several formori" who sat on the Squattor's Council. THE DESTRUCTION OF THE AUSTRALIAN ENVIRONMENT! Their logic was that if they made the land of Australia suffer, the spirit world would suffer, and since the Bunyip live in the spirit world, they might just up and die. The most effective method (the book says) was the introduction of European agriculture. The clearing away of the brushland and the planting of cereal grains to destroy the native vegetation(?). The servants of the Wyrm also introduced Rabbits, horses, sheep, cattle, foxes, pigs, cats, and dogs to further harm the Australian spirit world. At this point I'm getting the feeling that the author is just going down the list of things that could be even remotely construed as "harmful" to Australia and attributing them all to the Wyrm.

The Garou Nation, for their part, didn't realize the implications of the Squattocracy. Most trusted the Silver Fang's and their judgment that Australia had been mismanaged by the Bunyip and that the introduction of European vegetation and Animals was for the best. How the gently caress did that conversation go down? "Well yes they have this strange marsupials, but they don't have Wheat! Wheat is of Gaia, and therefore they are of the Wyrm." Regardless, there were also Silver Fang kinfolk on the Squatter's Council, so anything the council did had to be good, right? It wasn't until King Greymane's sensechal provided him with irrefutable proof of corruption that they acted, killing any squatters that were bane-ridden or otherwise corrupted. But after Earl Blaze's insanity, Graymane's inability to act harmed the Silver Fang's reputation irreparably, and he fell into Harano and died of shame.

Resistance
At this point did the Bunyip finally decide to fight back (must have been the Wheat) organizing Aboriginal resistance to the invasion. "They met with only marginal success, as Aboriginal history and tradition had left them unprepared for an armed struggle." Like I said before, inter-tribal warfare was very much a thing. They probably lost because the British had guns and the Aboriginals did not. They still manged to kill some white settlers, burn down wheat fields, kill livestock, and murder some explorers. Apparently the Bunyip are responsible for the Leichhardt expedition disappearing, luring them through a hole in the gauntlet and killing them there.

quote:

"Dispersion" was implemented on a major scale. In Queensland a mounted white army, led by one Major Nunn, was formed to slaughter Aboriginals wherever they were found. Most important Australian explorers were also responsible for acts of genocide, although such facts are rarely taught in schools.
They're just heaping on the White Guilt at this point.

quote:

European Garou attempted to establish contact with the Bunyip, to no avail. In the eyes of the Bunyip, the Garou were arrogant European invaders, to be avoided and ignored. On the occasions Garou did come into contact with their Australian cousins, the Bunyip always withdrew into the Dreamtime, where they easily lost their pursuers. Shunning violence, the Bunyip instead turned the land and its spirits against he human and Garou invaders. Droughts, floods, and bushfires increased as the Bunyip worked their magic, attempting to drive the invaders back across the sea.
Let me get this straight: Foreign Garou that don't know any better: harmful and corruptive to the Dreamtime, Bringing hostile humans into the Dreamtime and slaughtering them wholesale: not corruptive to the Dreamtime. Apparently spurring your kinfolk to slaughter settlers doesn't count as 'violence' in this scenario as well.

quote:

By 1851 the population of Australia numbered some 450,000, of which only 150,000 were convicts. The population of immigrant Garou now numbered approximately 50.
:wtc: Fifty Garou to police an entire continent? That's ten packs. The writers probably could have left this little demographic breakdown out of the book and have been better for it, but oh no, it's just going to get worse.


Good job SCAR, you can draw basic geometric shapes :bravo:

The Rush for Gold
Gold was discovered in New South Wales, and Australia's population doubled between 1850 and 1860. The book claims most of these were Irish which means an influx of Fianna, which only increased the tensions between them and the Silver Fangs, which of course resulted in another rebellion known as the Eureka Rebellion, which according to Wikipedia is really loving important as far as the current political state of Australia, so it seems crass to attribute it's impetus to Garou infighting. It's also rather telling that stating that it happened is as far as the book goes into it.
The urbanization that occurred as a result of the gold rush also helped Australia's vampire population quite a bit. Of course the Glass Walkers also grew to prominence and knew full well that the Vampires were growing in power, but no one listened to them, so they decided to just shut up and stop telling the other tribes about future threats. Which seems ridiculously stupid and petty, "I told you so" loses it's impact when a continent is burning down around your ears.

The Aboriginal Protection Board
Hooray, time for more "Sensitivity and Care", case in point, this section has a header quote that uses the word "Koori" eight times in six sentences.

quote:

Pleased with their successful disruption of the environment, the Wyrm's minions, predominantly Black Spiral Dancer Kinfolk who had infiltrated Australia's colonial government, decided to destroy the Bunyip's human Kinfolk. The Aboriginal Protection Board was formed in Melbourne in 1860. Although allegedly established to help the Aboriginals, it was designed to ensure their elimination and destroy their traditional way of life. Aboriginal populations were rounded up and incarcerated on reserves. In essence, such reserves were concentration camps controlled by the Wyrm.
So yes, this was a real thing and it did result in some horrible stuff, like Aboriginal children being taken from their homes under child welfare laws to be trained as servants for wealthy white Australians. But attributing it solely to the machinations of the Wyrm is horrible. It also states that, while int he real world these practices were shut down in 1969, in GOTHIC PUNK AUSTRALIA it's still going on today.

quote:

Only the Children of Gaia opposed the Aboriginal Protection Board. The Red Talons took advantage of the formation of Aboriginal reserves to demand the return of the Impergium; with all the Aboriginals gathered together, they claimed, it would be easy to monitor their numbers, culling where necessary. Such a proposal was greeted with horror by the Children of Gaia; only their outcry prevented more than a few rogue Red Talons from carrying out their plan
:psyduck: What the hell? The Impergium only worked because it was systematic across the entirety of humanity. At that point the Aboriginals were a minority, a minority already being oppressed. What would culling and controlling their numbers do that the British weren't doing already?

The War of Tears

That one in the middle is doing the snoopy dance, there is no other explanation.

quote:

Because the Europeans were basically taking the place over, the Bunyip and indigenous Australians retreated to the interior, where they attempted to limit the expansion of Europeans and Garou. The Bunyip also continued to ignore the Garou, who's pride could not deal with the insult.
Okay, at this point I can no longer be sympathetic toward the Bunyip. They're basically bear-baiting at this point, ignoring the Garou just to ignore the Garou and not explaining their case or the nature of their plight is basically asking to be driven extinct.

quote:

The Red Talons, who aspired to live in the unspoiled purity of the outback, were the most offended by the actions of the Bunyip tribe, although the Black Furies were similarly angered by the refusal of the Bunyip to allow them to dwell in their traditional territories.
So the Bunyip were somehow preventing them from living in Greece? The Garou are also acting, well, if not out of character, excessively stereotypical. "We live in the wild, you aren't letting us live in the wild, therefore you must die." "We defend the Wyld places, so we're going to kill you so that we can do it instead of you." Up next: the Glass Walkers kill people and literally pave a road over their bones while the Fianna destroy all native vegetation to replace it with acres and acres of shamrocks.


Hilariously off-model werewolves! Also: Spines don't work that way.

There's another two paragraph summary of what happened in the opening fiction. followed by what happened after. There was a civil war between the European Garou as they fought over the vacant caerns, which they later found were all inactive (they apparently shut down in protest after the Bunyip were dead) The Glass Walkers penned plans for the Jindabyne Council and got the Silver Fangs to back them, and the Shadow Lords took over Tasmania from the Black Furies in a swift, brutal coup.

Bushrangers
While these 'momentous' events were happening to the Garou, the humans were too busy crafting their own "distinctly Australian identity" to notice. Chief amongst these were the Bushrangers, outlaws who lived by stealing from banks or wealthy squatters. They were romanticized by the Australian populace because they were flamboyant highwaymen.

The most famous was Ned Kelly, an Irish Bushranger. They're mostly true to what Wikipedia is telling me, except for two points. First, he was apparently trying to create an independent Irish state within Australia. Second, he was Fianna Kinfolk, because of course he was.

He also wore homemade armor during his final confrontation with the police. the gently caress are up with those proportions

Federation and the Jindabyne Council
Before 1900, each of Australia's states were a separate colony, although people had been trying to get a national assemblage going since the 1880s.

quote:

In July 1900, Queen Victoria (rumored to be the founder of the New World Order Convention of the Technocracy) approved an act to constitute the Commonwealth of Australia. A federal government would have the power to enforce and spread the Technocracy's aims and teachings in the new society.
I think that speaks for itself.

The Garou figured they needed some kind of organization themselves to counter this, so they created the Jindabyne Council to oversee the Dreamtime and coordinate against the Wyrm and Technocracy. Not all the tribes were happy, Red Talons disliked it because, you know, it was something other than killing humans, the Get hated it because they're the Get, and the Shadow Lords hated it because they weren't in charge. No one could ignore it, though, because if they did then they'd be ignored.

Their first act was dividing Australia into recognized protectorates, which they divided among the septs. Many Garou were unhappy, and were angry at their representatives for not getting them a better deal (read: sole lord and mastery of the continent) but the council has kept the peace for the past 100 years so they allowed it to exist. Of course today it's mostly a tool for political infighting and point-scoring, and even it's own members are trying to figure out if it's worth keeping or not.

The Razor Wars
During the 1920's there was a rise in organized crime. the book then goes on to imply that every gang in Australia was controlled by either the Glass Walkers, Followers of Set, or Giovanni. The Vampires and Garou fought by proxy over cocaine and the other vices of Sydney and Melbourne, and open street warfare broke out on more than one occasion. Of course the rulers of both cities made sure such events didn't make the news. Eventually the "Cress Truce" was signed which divides both cities into various zones of Garou and Vampire control, which the other tribes point to as evidence that the Glass Walkers are corrupt.

Depression and WWII
The depression in Australia was caused by Sarrasine, the Vampire Prince of Sydney. He had recently taken control and required a period of economic and social unrest to establish his rule. The Corporate arm of the Glass Walkers took advantage of this to increase their power base within the tribe, ousting the organized crime faction.

Exactly how the depression helped a Vampire increase his control over a city isn't explained, it's just a thing you're meant to accept.

WWII had a different effect, Australia got hit with a massive influx of displaced immigrants from Europe. Amongst these were many Garou, particularly Black Furies, Get of Fenris, and Shadow Lords. Previous writings should indicate exactly how well this went over with the local spirit world, and it undid years of work trying to get the Dreamtime spirits to accept Garou again.

The Postwar Boom
After the war, Pentex bought out basically every big Australian industrial concern that the author could find in whatever research they did and Australia's mineral wealth was exploited by strip mining and blasting on a massive scale. Buuut this was all just a coverup for Pentex's search for the great Wyrm Incarna that has been buried deep in the outback these long years by the Bunyip.

Pentex's efforts also just so happened to be centered mostly in Red Talon and Uktenna territory, so they didn't ask for help and the rest of the Nation didn't offer. The Glass Walkers also unwittingly helped Pentex along because of their love of technology, ignoring environmental damage in the name of progress.

The Snowy River Scheme, which was a river diversion through the Snowy Mountains to irrigate previously arid territory into useable farmland, was apparently a Garou plot to get kinfolk immigrants brought in to work on the the project. The spirits, of course, objected to a major portion of a mountain being blown up, the CoG's tried to object but everyone ignored them, of course.

The 1950's also saw Australia change to a more "American" mindset, in part because of the return of soldiers who served in the Pacific, but also because of the introduction of Television and the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne.

This apparently resulted in them literally turning into every stereotype of America ever. Why does he have a Thylacine head on his wall? That bunyip ghost is apparently very mad at that man enjoying a beer.

The Australians were pissed at the British because they used Australia as a Nuclear Testing Ground, particularly Maralinga a 'useless and uninhabitable desert'. Of course it's a Wyrm plot and they're actually trying to despoil an old Bunyip caern and awaken nearby sleeping Wyrm Beasts.

Voices of Dissent
The Vietnam War served to divorce most Australians of their aspirations of American Awesomeness. The CoGs and Stargazers lead demonstrations against the war, which, uhh, "Led to the rediscovery of spiritualism and rejection of the barren values of capitalism commonly found among the '60s counterculture." The Jindabyne Council was also overtaxed trying to keep the Garou from killing each other any more than absolutely necessary.

The Present
In 1972, the Labor Party was elected, led by Gough Whitlam. And apparently someone on the art team had some strong opinions of Mr Whitlam.

Of course I couldn't tell you what those opinions are because the text paints him as a hero of the environment and an enemy of Pentex. He also pulled Australia out of Vietnam. Though the Labor Party did apparently gently caress up economically, leading to inflation and unemployment.

After they were ousted from power, Pentex decided that it hadn't paid enough attention to the political arena, so they decided to buy the two main political parties. The Garou matched their efforts by focusing on smaller political groups that focused on environmental and social issues.

Long story short: GOTHIC PUNK AUSTRALIA is hosed, and the Garou are screwed if they can't figure out a way to fix it, but they've either alienated or ignored every spirit that could help them, and most have turned to the Wyrm at the hands of the Dancers.

Up Next: Someone quotes their Geography Textbook

Kurieg fucked around with this message at 17:51 on Jul 29, 2013

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Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

Kurieg posted:


This apparently resulted in them literally turning into every stereotype of America ever. Why does he have a Thylacine head on his wall? That bunyip ghost is apparently very mad at that man enjoying a beer.

I think that's a propane spirit, angered by the bondage that man has put its siblings under.

Count Chocula
Dec 25, 2011

WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN


quote:

He also wore homemade armor during his final confrontation with the police.

Just to point out that this is a real thing that Ned Kelly did. I thought he'd be a Son of Ether or something:

Gough Whitlam is well-loved by the Australian left, so hagiography in WoD makes sense. Was his Dismissal mentioned? What companies are controlled by Pentax? Are Clive Palmer and Gina Rinehardt Pentax dupes? What about Harold Holt?

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:


Count Chocula posted:

Gough Whitlam is well-loved by the Australian left, so hagiography in WoD makes sense. Was his Dismissal mentioned?
My confusion was more that he's surrounded by Wyrm tendrils but is described as a decent guy and positive force for the nation. As far as his dismissal,

"The party's strong stand on environmental issues earned the Whitlam government the enmity of Pentex, and steps were taken to ensure its dismissal. Not even the number of Kinfolk working as advisors to the government could prevent the government's dismissal. On November 11th, 1975, the Labor government was sacked by the Governor General, an act that sent shockwaves rippling through the country,"

so I guess it was yet another Wyrm plot.

quote:

What companies are controlled by Pentax?
The companies that would become Amcor and BHP in non-gothic-punk Australia.

quote:

Are Clive Palmer and Gina Rinehardt Pentax dupes? What about Harold Holt?
They aren't mentioned at all, though Harold Holt might be implicitly due to him being around during most of the Aboriginal legislation.

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Kurieg posted:

so I guess it was yet another Wyrm plot.
Isn't everything?

Also good lord that book sucks bollocks. I only knew about it by reputation, but this is so much worse than I had imagined.

Count Chocula
Dec 25, 2011

WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN


I was really hoping they'd work the disappearance of Holt in there. Still, it teaches more about Australian history than most Americans know.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.



I have to second at the surprise at the lack of Holt among it's Auspol names.

But - wow that's just all over awful and I learned things about marsupial reproduction that I have no need to ever know and makes the book even more hosed up.

Robindaybird fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Jul 30, 2013

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:


Chapter 4 will have the various Pentex leaders and other wyrm-tainted humans, I'm sure there's a few thinly veiled parodies in there.

Robindaybird posted:

But - wow that's just all over awful and I learned things about marsupial reproduction that I have no need to ever know and makes the book even more hosed up.
Near as I can tell, the authors didn't know anything about how Marsupials actually worked. (most of that is what I remembered from College Bio cross referenced against Wikipedia to make sure)

FYI the next chapter goes over the Fauna of Australia.
:unsmigghh:

U.T. Raptor
May 11, 2010

Are you a pack of imbeciles!?



quote:

The most effective method (the book says) was the introduction of European agriculture. The clearing away of the brushland and the planting of cereal grains to destroy the native vegetation(?). The servants of the Wyrm also introduced Rabbits, horses, sheep, cattle, foxes, pigs, cats, and dogs to further harm the Australian spirit world.
Dogs were introduced thousands of years before the Europeans even showed up, drat it. That's what the goddamn dingo is :argh:

Also, the implication that all invasive species are part of some Wyrm plot is kind of hilarious.

Count Chocula
Dec 25, 2011

WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN


Maybe I should invite some of the AusPol regulars to provide their reasoned commentary about White Wolf.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/07/from_the_adventures_of_rocky_and_bullwinkle_to_dal.php - Topless Robot has a list of weird licensed RPGs. Se have been covered already.

Toph Bei Fong
Feb 29, 2008

You can't see me at all...



Kurieg posted:


He also wore homemade armor during his final confrontation with the police. the gently caress are up with those proportions

The armor's proportions do make the wearer look kinda goofy, but I still can't explain what's up with "Tiny Arms" Kelly there.


A police officer wearing the armor after the battle, unfortunately not Kelly himself




If you're interested in learning more, Peter Carey wrote an amazing novel about Kelly and his life and times.

Dr. Demon
Jan 2, 2007

Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty.

Count Chocula posted:

Maybe I should invite some of the AusPol regulars to provide their reasoned commentary about White Wolf.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/07/from_the_adventures_of_rocky_and_bullwinkle_to_dal.php - Topless Robot has a list of weird licensed RPGs. Se have been covered already.

I would love to see someone cover the Prisoner RPG. I can't even begin to imagine how that would work.

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





Dr. Demon posted:

I would love to see someone cover the Prisoner RPG. I can't even begin to imagine how that would work.

I have the GURPS Prisoner book too. It's a good companion to the TV series; there is a lot of background to the show and a bunch of detailed episode synopses. There were also some specific ideas on things to do to evoke the surreal paranoia atmosphere but I don't remember them off the top of my head.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:


Count Chocula posted:

Maybe I should invite some of the AusPol regulars to provide their reasoned commentary about White Wolf.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/07/from_the_adventures_of_rocky_and_bullwinkle_to_dal.php - Topless Robot has a list of weird licensed RPGs. Se have been covered already.

I actually have the Alternity Starcraft book. I remember it being pretty incomprehensible when I was in high school, it's not much better now, most jarringly it seems to lack actual character creation rules, just a bunch of templates.

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.


Clapping Larry

Kurieg posted:

I actually have the Alternity Starcraft book. I remember it being pretty incomprehensible when I was in high school, it's not much better now, most jarringly it seems to lack actual character creation rules, just a bunch of templates.

I have it too. It is a simplified yet more confusing version of Alternity.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

Midjack posted:

I have the GURPS Prisoner book too. It's a good companion to the TV series; there is a lot of background to the show and a bunch of detailed episode synopses. There were also some specific ideas on things to do to evoke the surreal paranoia atmosphere but I don't remember them off the top of my head.

I just found one of my copies. There's a lamentably short sidebar on surrealism, but it's got fun, weird little suggestions like 'clocks run counter-clockwise' and 'listening to a live band is free, but performing costs five work units'. The chapter on Weird Science is loaded with horrible, devious excuses to do equally horrible things to your players' heads.

Plus, rules for playing Kosho.

MalcolmSheppard
Jun 24, 2012
MATTHEW 7:20


Count Chocula posted:


http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/07/from_the_adventures_of_rocky_and_bullwinkle_to_dal.php - Topless Robot has a list of weird licensed RPGs. Se have been covered already.

It's an OK list. Storyteller Streetfighter actually has some decent rules, including a single attack/damage roll that eventually found its way to NWoD. But there's no mention of Guardians of Order's Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai RPG, and man , people should know that it got made.

Young Freud
Nov 25, 2006



MalcolmSheppard posted:

But there's no mention of Guardians of Order's Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai RPG, and man , people should know that it got made.

Who the hell do you play? The RZA?

jadarx
May 25, 2012


Kurieg posted:

I actually have the Alternity Starcraft book. I remember it being pretty incomprehensible when I was in high school, it's not much better now, most jarringly it seems to lack actual character creation rules, just a bunch of templates.

It also had a adventure section where your human party could fast-talk its way past a hydralisk. You know, a hive-mind controlled killing machine.

Mexcillent
Dec 5, 2008


pospysyl posted:


Introduction and the Most Boring Diaspora Ever

I always thought it was incredibly stupid to stick with Beringia as a feature of the Wendigo/Uktena/Croatoan origin story since most native people's stories of their origins don't feature a similar crossing. In a game where Fenris is real (and actually a good guy) and where Werewolves stalked Orestes why on earth do Native American Werewolves have to follow scientific facT?

Count Chocula
Dec 25, 2011

WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN


MalcolmSheppard posted:

It's an OK list. Storyteller Streetfighter actually has some decent rules, including a single attack/damage roll that eventually found its way to NWoD. But there's no mention of Guardians of Order's Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai RPG, and man , people should know that it got made.

Can you review that? Ghost Dog would seem to fit pretty easily into any urban fantasy RPG, and stripped of Jarmusch's directorial style and slow pace he'd be almost a cliche of an otaku fantasy.

Freaking Crumbum
Apr 17, 2003

Too fuck to drunk




ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: 2ND EDITION - The Complete Psionics Handbook
Chapter 9 - A PSIONICS CAMPAIGN OR PERMISSION FOR THE DM TO RELEGATE PSIONICS TO HIS UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE DMPCS (BONUS: RACISM)

Since the rest of this book was poorly thought out drivel or abortive attempts at modeling super powers, it should come as no surprise that the chapter intended to help a DM integrate Psionics into their ongoing campaigns is full of bad advice for dumb people. It's actually a pretty short chapter, and it gets padded out with a handful of sample monsters that are supposed to show what kind of threats psionic monsters could pose (they are all ridiculous and dumb). Let's finish this poo poo!

The first section Look What I Got cautions the DM not to let the players actually use the rules presented in this book to actually play a psionic character. In Steve Winter's infinite wisdom, he already knows that either everyone will want to drop their current character and immediately reroll as a psionicist (which would ruin whatever plans you had with your lovingly crafted home brew campaign) or none of your current players will want to play as a psionicist (I am assuming he is aware of the terrible poo poo he filled this book with). In either case, he reasons that the best approach to make a brand new ~*~Special Snowflake DMPC~*~ to introduce into your campaign so you can show the players how much fun psionics are without them trying to ruin it by integrating psionics into a cooperative attempt to tell a story, and maybe kill some dragons and drink a few beers with your buds while they do it. Instead you should lord over your players just how awesome this new DMPC is and make sure he/she is at the forefront of every adventure and solves every puzzle and gets the killing blow on every monster and spends time banging the hottest bar wenches (and you should also pause the game to describe in excruciating detail just how good at sex your DMPC is). I'm using a little hyperbole here, but not much. Steve even encourages DMs to refrain from telling the players that the new DMPC is a psionicist; rather the DM should try and set up improbable scenarios where the psionicist's powers can be explained via other means (poltergeists are throwing poo poo, not telekinesis, etc.). This is so you can demonstrate just how much more powerful your DMPC is and really underline how meaningless the contributions of the players are in the grand scheme of your campaign. Once you get bored of your DMPC you can let players roll a psionicist if you really want, but you should make sure to exercise even more scrutiny over how the character is built and over what actions they take during an adventure to make sure they don't overshadow everyone else at the table (namely YOU).

Next up is BURN HIM!, a section where Steve wastes ink explaining that psionicists can be treated however you want by the population of your campaign. They might be considered as normal as wizards and clerics or they might be shunned and persecuted because a psionicist might read someone's mind at some point in the future and that's equivalent to rape and regular people wouldn't want those psionic jerks living in their town. No comparison is made to whether someone reading your mind is as dangerous as someone else accidentally gating a Balor into the middle of town, but whatever Steve's on his soap box here and logic isn't going to stop him. Steve also mentions that psionicis require no verbal or material or somatic components to manifest so that automatically makes them infinitely more dangerous than wizards or clerics because they can work their powers without anyone knowing who is responsible. That might be a valid point if most DMs didn't just hand wave away material components for arcane spells as ridiculous "Mother May I?" bullshit except for when the component is somehow central to the plot of a campaign, but I digress (not to mention that divine magic just works, without components). Steve follows that insightful commentary up with a list of TSR's WOTC's established campaign worlds and how psionics potentially interacts with them.

Forgotten Realms - Before the Time of Troubles, psionics was extremely rare. Now, it's becoming more common, although most folks can't tell it apart from magic.
Greyhawk - Psionics has been on Oerth forever, or at least since an illithid spaceship crashed on Oerth ages ago. People are as indifferent towards psionics as they are breathing air or being forced into undead servitude by Vecna.
Dragonlance - No psionics exist here at all, and even the most learned sages would have only fragmented, rudimentary knowledge about what psionics is or how it works.
Ravenloft - Psionics is common enough that the average person might know about it. It is also limited by Ravenloft's setting specific rules in the same way that arcane and divine magic is limited (re: no crossing the mist or closed domain boundaries or leaving Ravenloft, attempts to read alignment or the minds of intelligent undead are foiled, etc.).
Spelljammer - Psionic powers function normally in all forms of space and are super common. Psionicists still can't use Spelljamming helms though, because gently caress you that's why.
Conspicuously absent from the list is the best setting, Dark Sun, but I'm going to assume that Steve was aware that psionics are hella common on Athas and such an awesome setting didn't need him impotently loving with it.

The chapter concludes with Psionics and Magic which attempts to redefine how psionics and magic overlap and interact. There's a whole list of Wizard/Cleric spells that may or may not be specifically affected by certain psionic powers, but I can't be hosed to transcribe that because it's boring minutia that most people won't ever give a poo poo about. Magic items and psionic items are said to basically be the same thing, differing only if an item specifically gives a wizard more spells per day or a psionicist more PSPs; in those cases the bonuses are specific and don't translate over to the other type (so a psionicist with a ring of wizardry I doesn't get anything from it). Villains and monsters that use psionics are said to be infinitely more dangerous and deadly and devious and dastardly that other villains because they tend to have intricate webs of minions and contacts and they're masters of manipulation and etc. We get it Steve, you only want the DM to be able to use any of the rules in this book.

Steve ends the book with the revelation that psionics are not often considered to be powers that fit with the pseudo-medieval mythology that D&D plagiarizes whole sale bases itself on, and that it probably works better in modern or sci-fi settings. He admonishes DMs to be careful about using anything in this book at all unless they're maybe going to base their campaign in the medieval equivalent of India or Asia because the crazy foreigners from those places have all sorts of legends about meditating and kung-fu monks and eating rice. What a classy note to end the book on.

Okay, so Psionic monsters! I'm not sure if these were updated from an earlier edition of D&D (pretty likely) or if Steve Winter just farted them into the book as an afterthought, but either way they're pretty underwhelming.




Baku - Kind of like a gryphon, but they're elephant/tiger/dragon hybrids. They're also psychic and they are good (85% of the time) and they love people, except for the darker pigmented Bakus who are evil (15% of the time, no subtle racism here, what are you talking about) and like to cause mischief and mayhem. Either way they're pretty content to just sit around using their invisibility power to silently watch people go about their day.

Brain Mole - It's like a regular mole but it eats PSPs instead of grubs or dirt or whatever real moles eat. It's literally the size and shape of a regular mole, so I'm not sure how threatening these things are to your average adventuring party unless they pick a really unfortunate place to camp for the night (and then it's really more of a gently caress you to the party psionicist). The description says that royalty love to keep brain moles as pets because it keeps enemy psionicists away, but the animal doesn't have any kind of innate psionic resistance or nullification, so that sounds like a dubious method of keeping psionics away at best.

Cerebral Parasites - Because just having one enemy who's only schtick is "eats PSPs" wasn't enough. That's all there is to these things, they just latch onto psionicists and drain their PSPs every time the psionicist tries to manifest a power. They can only be removed by a cure disease spell, or by not using any PSPs until all the parasites starve and die, which the text says can take d4 months.




Intellect Devourer (Adult and Larva) - Possibly the dumbest looking monster, this thing is a brain on four legs that hunts by using their psionic powers to stun a victim before pouncing and raking with all four claws. They require +3 weapons or better to hit but otherwise aren't very impressive. Supposedly the adults are so aggressive that they often eat their own young, so I'm not really sure how this species is supposed to survive long enough to threaten anything. Mindflayers keep them as pets because those dudes have the biggest boners for brains.




Shedu - I was wrong, this motherfucker is the dumbest looking monster of the bunch. Imagine a pegasus with the head of an elderly dwarven man. That's it, that's the whole deal with this thing. It's a good aligned outsider, which makes it possibly the most terrifying mount that a Paladin could learn to summon.




Thought Eater - The art director for the book loving pulled a hat trick on this one, the three dumbest looking things ever are layed out sequentially one after the other; in this case, a Thought Eater looks like a skeletal platypus. They exist solely on the ethereal plane and their only motivation is to avoid death. If they ever somehow get shifted into the prime material plane, they instantly die. In other words, these things look dumb as hell and have no reason to ever interact with a party of adventurers. Why are they even included in this book?

Su-Monster - Giant intelligent evil monkeys who predominantly have black fur, except for their hands which are stained red with the blood of all the innocents that they've killed. Steve, I feel like you really have a message you want to share about race relations, why not just come out and say it? Not-so-subtle racism aside, there isn't anything else to get excited about here.


IN CONCLUSION - Holy hell am I glad to be done with this. I think I was most frustrated with this book because it doesn't match at all with my childhood memories of playing a psionicist in a D&D campaign. It's definitely for the best that my friends and I basically just skimmed this book, because RAW psionicists are a terrible third wheel to wizards and clerics. Mind, this doesn't mean that they can't invalidate a rouge or fighter provided that they're built correctly, but I'm seriously disappointed at how poorly balanced this class was, and how anemically most of the mechanics were implemented. Seriously, the entire chapter on mental combat (and all related powers) could have been completely expunged from this book and the work as a whole would have been greatly improved. As it is, this book is an embarrassing testament to the heydays of TSR - it encourages groggy, antagonistic DMs and most of the powers barely function as written; other things are such bizarre niche cases that one wonders under what circumstances they were ever imagined (see: the persistent, weird obsession with involving a taste specific version of several powers). Apparently implementing psionics and psionic characters into a fantasy role playing game is the holy grail of game design for the Dungeons and Dragons team, because it took the until fourth edition before they actually created a class that was mechanically sound and fun to play.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

The critters at the end of the Psionics handbook were from 1E, yeah. They looked just as ridiculous then, too.

I remember being annoyed, because at that point the Monstrous Compendium binders and insert packs were still a going thing, and these were some of the first monsters that couldn't be fit into a binder without mutilating a book, and couldn't be alphabetized properly even if you did.

MinistryofLard
Mar 22, 2013


Just as a note;

This;

quote:



is the flag of the Eureka Stockade. So, like, not just random geometrical shapes, and actually relevant to the accompanying chapter. Its meant to be a stylised Southern Cross, which is an Australian national symbol.



The Eureka Stockade wasn't actually that important to Australia's national formation or culture, it just gets played up a lot in our schools and media. Basically, a bunch of gold miners got pissed at the high cost of gold licenses in Ballarat and built a stockade in protest. The police attacked it, the miners shot back, and 27 people (police and miners) were killed.

It was one of maybe three rebellions (at most, depending on how you define 'rebellion') in Australian history and it gets played up a lot in the Australian national myth, but it is of questionable significance. Mostly it just gives nationalists a flag to organise around and get tattooed on themselves.

Honestly you just get the idea that the authors haven't really done a huge amount of research and have just grabbed a children's book on Australia and are going from there.

Young Freud
Nov 25, 2006



MinistryofLard posted:

Just as a note;

This;


is the flag of the Eureka Stockade. So, like, not just random geometrical shapes, and actually relevant to the accompanying chapter. Its meant to be a stylised Southern Cross, which is an Australian national symbol.



The Eureka Stockade wasn't actually that important to Australia's national formation or culture, it just gets played up a lot in our schools and media. Basically, a bunch of gold miners got pissed at the high cost of gold licenses in Ballarat and built a stockade in protest. The police attacked it, the miners shot back, and 27 people (police and miners) were killed.

It was one of maybe three rebellions (at most, depending on how you define 'rebellion') in Australian history and it gets played up a lot in the Australian national myth, but it is of questionable significance. Mostly it just gives nationalists a flag to organise around and get tattooed on themselves.

Honestly you just get the idea that the authors haven't really done a huge amount of research and have just grabbed a children's book on Australia and are going from there.

It would be like someone not American throwing a reference to the facade of the Alamo (which is a similar battle that the importance gets overplayed in both American and Texas history and culture) without understanding what it is.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:


MinistryofLard posted:

is the flag of the Eureka Stockade. So, like, not just random geometrical shapes, and actually relevant to the accompanying chapter. Its meant to be a stylised Southern Cross, which is an Australian national symbol.

Ahh, well, whoops. They still tapped SCAR to draw a torn up flag, which is probably the only thing they couldn't screw up.

I do apologize for artificially inflating it's importance though.

Hipster Occultist
Aug 16, 2008

He's an ancient, obscure god. You probably haven't heard of him.




homeless poster posted:


IN CONCLUSION - Holy hell am I glad to be done with this. I think I was most frustrated with this book because it doesn't match at all with my childhood memories of playing a psionicist in a D&D campaign. It's definitely for the best that my friends and I basically just skimmed this book, because RAW psionicists are a terrible third wheel to wizards and clerics. Mind, this doesn't mean that they can't invalidate a rouge or fighter provided that they're built correctly, but I'm seriously disappointed at how poorly balanced this class was, and how anemically most of the mechanics were implemented. Seriously, the entire chapter on mental combat (and all related powers) could have been completely expunged from this book and the work as a whole would have been greatly improved. As it is, this book is an embarrassing testament to the heydays of TSR - it encourages groggy, antagonistic DMs and most of the powers barely function as written; other things are such bizarre niche cases that one wonders under what circumstances they were ever imagined (see: the persistent, weird obsession with involving a taste specific version of several powers). Apparently implementing psionics and psionic characters into a fantasy role playing game is the holy grail of game design for the Dungeons and Dragons team, because it took the until fourth edition before they actually created a class that was mechanically sound and fun to play.

You should really do the Dark Sun Psionics handbook next if you're up to the task, it really goes a long way to making a Psioncist an attractive character option.

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Dark Sun goes a long way to making D&D seem attractive.

PantsOptional
Dec 27, 2012

All I wanna do is make you bounce

homeless poster posted:

Conspicuously absent from the list is the best setting, Dark Sun, but I'm going to assume that Steve was aware that psionics are hella common on Athas and such an awesome setting didn't need him impotently loving with it.

Dark Sun came out about eight months after Complete Psionics, so Winter gets a technical pass on this one even though he was initially on the Dark Sun team. Really, though, whoever was in charge of their release schedule boned this to pieces.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

Dark Sun was basically the only application for psionics in 2nd edition... which is a pity, because on one hand it dangled some amazing carrots like 'characters can have 20s in their ability scores before modifiers!' and 'weird twists on classic PC races!' and 'ever hear of Edgar Rice Burroughs?'...

...and on the other attached a great big stick marked 'everything has at least a goddamn wild talent.'

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:





Chapter 2: Geography
Okay, before we even get into the text, what is up with that picture? Those are such ludicrously small arms for something with that big a body, they're entirely vestigial, what is that thing even doing there? Did the World Serpent want to see a show at the opera house? It also looks so angry, Ausmungandr is judging you.

The first half of this chapter is a mixture of clinical descriptions of geography and diatribes against the white man for ever coming to Australia. I'll just quote a small section

quote:

The Eastern seaboard has most suffered from European habitation. Early settlers, disturbed by the alien landscape in which they found themselves, did their best to transplant a more familiar environment onto Australian soil. Uncomfortable with the sun-bleached browns, dusty grays and olive greens that predominated prior to their arrival, the European invaders sought to establish a brighter, softer landscape, one more pleasing to their eyes. Native forests were uprooted and burnt out, replaced by fruit trees, green fields, and stands of artificially nurtures English woodlands. Wildlife was killed or driven off, to be replaced by herds of sheep and cattle whos grazing destroyed native grasslands, while Aboriginal tribes were shot, poisoned, or imprisoned on missions and reserves. Worst of all were the huge, sprawling cities established along the east and southeast coasts. Melbourne alone is twice the size of Los Angeles, although housing a dramatically smaller population.
If you want to replicate the experience, pull up a Wikipedia page on Australian Geography and a white guilt webpage and switch back and forth until nauseous.

But just because we're skipping over the text, doesn't mean we're skipping the art. I would be doing you a disservice to deny you this.


Like the fanged tube worms in the Australian outback, you remember those, right?


Or the rare Tasmanian wolfpaw wheat?


Or when you're shearing your sheep and it turns out to be a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing. Don't you hate it when that happens?
What kind of monster actually illustrates that tortured visual joke? SCAR that's who.

Garou Protectorates
The Garou divided Australia into 19 protectorates (not including the cities, which are battlegrounds between Garou and Vampires), and there is at least one Caern in each protectorate, it won't discribe all of them though, leaving the storyteller free to create more! unfortunately there are reasons keeping that from being viable. Regardless this is mostly more descriptions of the land. I'll only be including only the stuff that's interesting.

Arnhem Land Protectorate
Area: Arnhem Land itself and the Kakadu National Park
Tribe: Black Furies.
The main concern of the Black Furies is the Ranger uranium mine in Kakadu. They're trying to mobilize the lands owners to close it but they haven't been open to do so yet. The more reactionary members of the tribe want to force the issue. Unsurprisingly the Mine is actually a Black Spiral Caern but they rarely leave the grounds.
Caern:Namorrkan Caern
This is a Black Fury only Caern, though they do allow non-Red Talon females to visit. It lies within Kakadu National Park. The ridge on which it sits is known as 'Lightning Dreaming' by the local Aboriginals because of the spirit that lives there, Namorrkan the Lightning Man. Namorrkan, however, is an aloof spirit who only talks to men, and the Black Furies are too proud to ask for help.
Basically the Black Furies were stupid enough to found a Caern right on top of a Male Spirit that refuses to talk to women. Did I mention that the Black Furies are idiots in this book?

Cape York Protectorate
Area: Cape York :effort:
Tribe: Red Talons
Pure unspoiled wilderness, also includes the Great Barrier Reef. Apparently a bauxite smelter wants to take some of the land here. He's basically already dead.

Eungella Protectorate
Area: From Cairns to Fraser Island west to the Dividing Range.
Tribe: Stargazers
Fraser Island is a large sand island with freshwater lakes, the stargazers protect it voraciously.
Caern: The Web of Dreaming Hands
Located in the Carnarvon Gorge, the floor of which is covered in dense rainforest, and in one of the lesser caynons live thousands upon thousands of spiders, spinning webs from tree to tree and filling the gorge with sheets of silk. In the center lie two trees shaped like hands.

This. basically.
If a Garou sleeps in the hands and sacrifices a point of Gnosis, they will dream a 'true' dream. The events in the dream will always occur, but they're difficult to interpret, to the point that most will not know the meaning of the dream until after it comes to pass. It takes a Wits+Enigma roll to not screw it up. Of course, said Garou also needs to convince the stargazers to let them use it.

The Flinders Protectorate
Area: The Flinder's Ranges
Tribe: Get of Fenris
The area also includes the nuke blasted Maralinga. The Get have been known to abandon their cubs there as a Rite of Passage. If they can make it back while avoiding Black Spiral Dancers and the Formori Soldiers, they're welcomed as full fledged members of the tribe.

The Gariwerd Protectorate
Area: The Grampians Reserve.
Tribe: Fianna
Fianna Kinfolk had recently managed to convince the Victorian government to change the name of the district to Gariwerd, but the 'newly elected conservative government' reverted the change.
Caern: Tower Hill Caern
Situated in the Extinct Tower Hill volcano, it used to be heavily forested but it was cleared out for grazing land (which the Fianna blame the Silver Fangs for) they've begun a reforestation campaign using a painting that a kinfolk painted in 1815 as a guide. But, wouldn't forcing the land to form a shape rather than just planting it normally be, like, you know, bad? The Silver Fangs have tried to wrest control of the caern from the Fianna because "Such an important caern should be guarded by a more fitting tribe than 'a group of Irish drunkards'". First Edition everyone.

The Gippsland Protectorate
Area: From Melbourne to Mallacoota Inlet.
Tribe: Silver Fangs
Is heavily polluted.
That's basically all it says of import.
Caern: The Sept of the Mother and Sacred King
This Caern is located in the Fitzroy and Treasury Gardens in Melbourne, and is a multi-tribal sept. The center of the Caern is marked by a statue of Artemis. A narrow road separates the caern's surrounding parkland from the Treasury Gardens, where stands a memorial to JFK. "Many Black Furies claim Kennedy was an aspect of the Sacred King, the ritually slain consort of the Mother Goddess." Whaaaat? This is out of nowhere. "The Sept is led by Voula Kostikidas, a metis Black Fury. The sept is the only urban caern guarded by a Black Fury. The rest of the sept are, like their leader, outcasts and outsiders" okay then...

The Hunter Valley Protectorate
Area: From the New England Ranges south to Sydney.
Tribe: Fianna
"The polluted industrial city of Newcastle lies at the mouth of the Hunter Valley Protectorate, as if to enrage the area's Fianna guardians. The Fianna despise this symbol of the Wyrm's corruption, but can do little." Apparently a recent earthquake was an ancient wyrm beast beneath Newcastle waking up, maybe.

Caern: The Rocks Caern
Located in the King's Arms Hotel in Sydney, this is a predominately Bone Gnawer caern. In the real world it has been gentrified, BUT IN GOTHIC PUNK AUSTRALIA it's still mostly squalor and is a popular squatting spot for the homeless. "The totem of the sept is Sydney's City Mother, who appears as a gaunt punk girl adorned in bright makeup and wearing a leather vest over a dress of stained white lace. Striped stockings and heavy boots complete her ensemble. Her attitude is insulting, aggressive and nervous." :allears: the nineties were such an amazing time.

The Kangaroo Island Protectorate
Area: Kangaroo Island :ms:
Tribe: Black Furies
"Thanks to the effort of the Garou Kinfolk and their human allies" 70,000 hectares of the Island are a national park. it's also home to some animals that don't live anywhere else, even in Australia. According to the Aboriginals, Kangaroo Island is Karta, the land of the dead, and since it's largely divorced from the mainland it's Dreamtime is still "rich and mysterious".

The Katajuta Protectorate
Area: From Nullarbor in the south to the Tanami Desert in the north, from the Simpson Desert in the East to the Great Sandy Desert in the West.
Tribe:Uktena

quote:

Uluru, known as Ayers Rock to the Europeans, is a powerful place of Aboriginal dreaming. It is a massive boulder, 300 meters high, with a perimeter of nine kilometers. Once a powerful Bunyip caern, Uluru was claimed by the Uktena, who hoped to decipher its secrets. The Uktena have led the locals to believe that the Bunyip died fighting the Wyrm, not that they were slain by their fellow Garou.
1st edition Uktena were dicks.

Not racist! We promise!
Caern: Sept of the Waking Dream
A Caern run entirely by Aboriginal Uktena and closed to outsiders based in the Olgas mountains west of Uluru. And if you want more information than that you should definitely buy the new Werewolf Sourcebook, Caerns: Places of Power! Fantastic.

Kimberly Protectorate
Area: Kimberley, it looks like the Uktena just control the entirety of western australia that isn't Perth or the area around Perth.
Tribe: Uktena
This area is "rugged and Wild", which the Uktenna siezed immediately after the War of Tears (sensing a pattern? Also, weren't there like, 3 Uktenna in Australia during the war of tears? how did they "sieze" most of a state?) There are two caerns, one in the Bungle Bungle range, which is inaccessable to all but the most persistent garou. and the one at the Wolfe Creek Meteorite Crater.
Caern:The Barnambirr Caern
This one in fact. It's one of four caerns exclusively controlled by the Uktena, the Red Talons of the nearby Tanami protectorate want to steal it, I'm guessing solely because of the name of the Crater, as they are the wolfiest of wolves.

The Mount Isa Protectorate
Area:Great Dividing Range in the east, Gulf of Carpentaria to the north, simpson desert to the southwest, balonne river to the southeast.
Tribe:Red Talons
Mount Isa is one of the worlds largest silver-lead mines, copper and zinc are also mined in the area, and the Barkly Tableland is one of the worlds richest fossil sites. Basically the Red Talons picked the absolute place to put a protectorate because they want to kill everyone who lives here for raping the land of its riches.

The Nimbin Protectorate
Area:From Fraser island to New England (not the one in the US) and from the Great Divide to the Coast.
Tribe:Children of Gaia
The book discribes this area as a tropical paradise, the CoGs are mostly centered in the town of Nimbin.

quote:

Nimbin is Australia's best known showpiece for alternate lifestylers. Under the aegis of the Children of Gaia, Nimbin is a place for humans to rediscover their love for and dependence upon Mother Earth. Since the 1960s Nimbin has faced an increasing drug problem, as burned-out hippies flocked tot he area, followed by punks, assorted addicts and those that catered to them. The Children of Gaia fear that Pentex and its agents are behind the flood of low-grade, impure, synthetic drugs infiltrating and wreaking havoc in the Nimbin communities.
"No man, we only do pure opium. Heroin is of the Wyrm, you're totally harshing our buzz!"

Duuuuude, Swamp Thing's talking to me again.


The Pilbara Protectorate
Area:It doesn't actually specify but I'm guessing the entirety of Pilbara itself.
Tribe:Red Talons
There are mines here, the Red Talons are trying to shut them down. Including a closed down Blue Asbestos mine in Wittenoom, where the Black Spirals have a caern, because Mesothelioma is of the Wyrm I'm guessing, this will be covered in the Wyrm Caern section later.

The Riverina Protectorate
Area: Lachlan River to the north, Great Dividing Range to the south and east, Loddon river to the west.
Tribe: Silver Fangs
"Riverina borders the Fianna protectorate of Gariwerd, and tension between the rival tribes remains high, as it has since Australia was founded. Riverina contains the town of Glenrowan, birthplace of the infamous bushranger Ned Kelly, as well as a number of artificial lakes." I love the implication that the Fianna are mad at the Silver Fangs not only just for having control over a town where one of their kinfolk was born, but also because they have the audacity to have lakes. The nerve of them.

The Tanami Protectorate
Area:From the Tanami Desert up to the Gulf
Tribe:Red Talons.
It's another blasted desert. Also there are miners here, the Red Talons hate them.
This is now three Red Talon protectorates for whom their main concerns are 'people are mining here, and that's bad'. I wonder what the Red Talon tribal moots are like.

"PEOPLE ARE MINING!"
"MINES ARE THE ENEMY!"
"ALSO METEOR CRATERS!"
"RAGE!"
"RAGE!"

The Tasmania Protectorate
Area: Take a guess.
Tribe: Shadow Lords
There might still be living thylacines in the old forests of Tasmania, and the Shadow Lords are hunting for them, whether it's to kill them or save them that's anybody's guess, they're Shadow Lords.
Caern: Cradle Mountain Caern
This used to be a caern of great power under the Bunyip. After that the Black Furies held the land for a while, but they weren't able to unlock it's secrets before the Shadow Lords kicked them out in a bloody coup. The unprovoked attack was what convinced most Garou that the Jindabyne Council was necessary. The Shadow Lords were able to re-open the Caern fifty years ago but only at a fraction of it's current strength, which has the entirety of the Black Fury tribe basically going "I told you so" on endless repeat.

The Wadbilliga Protectorate
Area:South of Sydney, Including the Snowy mountains and the coastline.
Tribe:Silver Fangs
This area contains the Snowy River Scheme, and the Jindabyne Council, which has appointed the Silver Fangs its protectors. The Capitol of Australia, Canberra, lies within this protectorate, and it's design of districts separated by greenery is apparently the result of Garou inspiration. Infighting between the Silver Fangs has blinded them to the growing population of Black Spiral Dancers within the tunnels of the Scheme, and the Bane-ridden city of Wollongong, "which pumps soot and smoke into the atmosphere at a frightening rate." So, sorry if any of you live in Wollongong, you're evil apparently.

The West Coast Protectorate
Area: Any part of the West Coast not already claimed by the other tribes.
Tribe: The Glass Walkers
Unfortunately, the glass walkers don't appear to actually manage or patrol their territory at all, instead remaining in Perth 24/7, fighting Pentex (who have their Australian Headquarters in Perth) leaving the other tribes to actually defend the Protectorate. The Black Furies and Red Talons aren't happy about this and are lobbying with the Jindabyne to have them taken out of power.

quote:

The many coastal caves in the protectorate have been claimed by the Dancers, who seek to spread the Wyrm's taint throughout the wooded valleys, heaths and hills of the wild southwest. Pentex officials from Perth regularly make the 230-kilometer trip to the caves in order to plan further outrages against Gaia.
What? Why go to the caves? You have perfectly serviceable board rooms. Or is this just so you guys can be even more cartoonishly evil by traveling to dark gloomy caves, dress up in robes, and plot and cackle evilly by firelight... okay yeah that's exactly the reason, nevermind.

The Western Plains Protectorate
Area: Rural New South Wales
Tribe: Silver Fangs
There's a big silver mine here in Broken Hill. The Garou have their caern as far away from it as possible in Warrumbungle National Park. Despite their best efforts the mine remains open."The earliest Silver Fangs in the Western Plains accompanied the area's human settlers before they knew of the Squattocracy's links with the Wyrm. Western Plains' Silver Fangs are among the oldest and most arrogant Silver Fangs in the land, as well as the most inbred."
:downs:

We're finally done with the protectorates! :toot:


Flora

quote:

Australia's native vegetation has suffered greatly from European settlement. Even prior to the invasion, the Aboriginals had done much to reshape the face of the continent through their use of fire. Guided by the Bunyip, Aboriginals ensured that grain-bearing grasses never flourished in Australia. This was achieved by way of large-scale grass fires, inhibiting agriculture and instead encouraging the spread of plants requiring periodic fire to trigger seeds into growth, such as eucalyptuses and acacias.
:psyboom:
I'm sorry, WHAT!?

Yes supposedly the Aboriginals did use fire to burn down old growth (Though this is a theory that has come under some scrutiny in the past few years) but I highly doubt there was any malicious intent towards native grain intended. I would find it easier to believe that grains simply didn't exist on Australia. The author is making it sound like the War of Tears was fought entirely because the Silver Fangs loved grains, and the Bunyip did not.


Fauna
Divorced as it was from the rest of the world for so many years, there are animals on Australia that aren't found anywhere else (Save South America to which it was once joined). Most of these animals are marsupials, with the odd monotreme here and there.

quote:

Marsupials are mammals that give birth to their young live, still in a fetal stage, and then rear the developing offspring in a teat bearing pouch. In this they are less advanced than most mammals, which present a placenta through which nutrients are supplied to the young in utero until they are mature enough to be born.
I'm sure you already know this, but I'm including it for a reason

quote:

Staunch defenders of marsupials, however, claim the qualities of marsupials have been given too little consideration, simply because they apparently lost the evolutionary race with placentals. Some of these biologists say this defamation stems from "pouch envy" and the fact that marsupial males' genitalia are much bigger in comparison to those of placental males. The Bunyip, by the way, bred with marsupials...
Yup. Pack it in everyone, we're just not as good as Marsupials. In addition to their hatred of grains, the Garou killed the Bunyip because they were jealous of their massive dicks.
Normally I'd admit that I might be reading too much into things, but the facing page has this on it.

A black man in a loin cloth fighting a giant white worm.



Dingos
Dingos are not native to Australia, arriving from Southeast Asia less than 3,500 years ago, theoretically by boat from Indonesia with fishermen. Being the more aggressive and social hunter, they were able to drive the Thylacine to extinction on mainland Australia. Even though they're more closely related to Dogs than Wolves, Garou can breed with the Dingo, the hows and whys are questions that White Wolf does not choose to answer, though the more haughty European tribes (Read: Get of Fenris, Silver Fangs and Shadow Lords) absolutely refuse to sully themselves with Dingo blood.

Thylacine
I've already gone over these guys to some length, but there is some more information here. After the Dingos arrived, they only existed on Tasmania, Thylacines were not pack animals and would hunt alone or in pairs, and would patiently stalk their prey for hours. They were not long-distance runners but were capable of short bursts of high speed by hopping on their hind legs like Kangaroos.

Again, the Bunyip traveled to Australia, saw these things, and thought them sufficiently wolf-like to use as breeding stock. Speaking of, when the dingos arrived, the Bunyip didn't intervene, seeing it as part of Gaia's plan, and since they had moon bridges, they could just run off to Tasmania whenever they needed/wanted to breed.

Introduced Species, Polution and Environmental Destruction
The short of it, rabbits and foxes, introduced for hunting, escaped and bred like crazy and are now environmental pests because they lack natural predators. Introduced livestock are also problems, and some have escaped and gone feral. Also we get a full page on how industrialization has obliterated Australia.

Finally.
Wyrm Caerns

Hive of the Melted Sands
Caern:Maralinga
Totem:Kendi the Frill Necked Lizard.
This is the most powerful Wyrm caern in Australia, led by Claws-in-the-Heart-of-Gaia, who is a ferocious advocate of corruption. He personally kidnaps numerous soldiers from the nearby Woomera Prohibited Area to either possess, turn into formori, or devour.

Hive of the Corrupted Flesh
Caern: King's Cross, Sydney
Totem: Brolga... wait, that's it? Brolga?
King's Cross is Sydney's red light district, and the hive is inside an abandoned brothel.

quote:

The building has been closed for 20 years following the mass slaughter of the brothel's prostitutes by an impotent and psychotic client. Their ghosts still haunt the shell of the building, witnesses to the obscene rites the Black Spiral Dancers hold on moonless nights. The leader of the Hive, the metis Ragabash Eye-Swallower, delights in using the extra Appearance he gains from Hive rites, disguising himself as an attractive woman and luring men into the building to slake the lusts of his pack members. Children born by the pack's females following such rapes invariably bear the Black Spiral Dancer gene.
Did he kick some puppies while he was at it? Maybe steal some candy from a baby? And why the cross dressing? Why not send out an actual woman? Unless he, a metis, was more attractive than his pack members :stonk:

Hive of the Poisoned Lungs
Caern: Wittenoom, oh hey it's the asbestos mine
Totem: Shush'thull, Spirit of Asbestos
Okay I guess Mesothelioma is of the wyrm.
Led by the Philodox Coughs-Lingering-Death, the Spirals are still harvesting asbestos and sending it to facilities across Australia to be purified and concentrated, then they're planning on releasing asbestos dust into the Air systems of office buildings, thus causing outbreaks of asbestosis across the country. Which... is a legitimately evil plan, though it seems a tad bit petty. It would inflict suffering and death on a massive scale.

quote:

The totem of the Wittenoom Caern is a hideous, hulking spirit born of the mining town's nightmares. Shush'thull grants members of the caern the following Gift:
Blue Breath (Level Three)- This Gift enables the Dancer to exhale asbestos fibers in a deadly cloud of dust.
System: The Dancer must spend one Gnosis point. Anyone inhaling the dust will begin to choke, suffering three health Levels of aggravated damage if she fails a roll of Stamina + Medicine. Players must state their characters are holding their breath; otherwise they inhale the dust. Resist toxin is effective against this gift.
:psyduck: Okay, it's official, the best scheme the Dancers have going in Australia is Sentient Evil Asbestos.

Up Next: Amazing things such as

Her

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

Kurieg posted:


Like the fanged tube worms in the Australian outback, you remember those, right?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure graboids are a uniquely North American problem.

Freaking Crumbum
Apr 17, 2003

Too fuck to drunk




Hipster Occultist posted:

You should really do the Dark Sun Psionics handbook next if you're up to the task, it really goes a long way to making a Psioncist an attractive character option.

I never had the pleasure of reading that book as a kid, but I managed to find a copy at my local Bookman's in my ever vigilant quest to get a complete set of AD&D Dark Sun material. I just might have to compare and contrast how the two books handle their material.

Bieeardo posted:

...and on the other attached a great big stick marked 'everything has at least a goddamn wild talent.'

Dark Sun is proof that a well armed society is the polar opposite of a polite society.

Ettin
Oct 2, 2010


Kai Tave posted:

Speaking of which, where's my update Ettin? These Nazi rape machines aren't gonna write about themselves.

I'm still catching up on this thread but I caught this in the middle of people being wrong about Eclipse Phase. This week, promise! :toot:

Valatar
Sep 26, 2011

A remarkable example of a pathetic species.


Lipstick Apathy

Did anyone ever post a review of Freak Legion? I've seen it mentioned often but never any actual detailed writeup, and all of my search attempts have only come up with throwaway mentions of it.

Toph Bei Fong
Feb 29, 2008

You can't see me at all...



Kurieg posted:

Hive of the Poisoned Lungs
Caern: Wittenoom, oh hey it's the asbestos mine
Totem: Shush'thull, Spirit of Asbestos
Okay I guess Mesothelioma is of the wyrm.
Led by the Philodox Coughs-Lingering-Death, the Spirals are still harvesting asbestos and sending it to facilities across Australia to be purified and concentrated, then they're planning on releasing asbestos dust into the Air systems of office buildings, thus causing outbreaks of asbestosis across the country. Which... is a legitimately evil plan, though it seems a tad bit petty. It would inflict suffering and death on a massive scale.

:psyduck: Okay, it's official, the best scheme the Dancers have going in Australia is Sentient Evil Asbestos.

Are we sure than "grown-up Captain Planet with werewolves!" wasn't the stated design goal for early werewolf?

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.




Grimey Drawer

I remember joking about it when early Werewolf was a thing, but that is pretty damning.

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 4, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!


Spoilers Below posted:

Are we sure than "grown-up Captain Planet with werewolves!" wasn't the stated design goal for early werewolf?

Fixed that for you. :iamafag:

Freak Legion should probably get done at some point. It's probably the dorkiest RPG supplement ever in that it pretty much makes all the popular kids at school out to be literal monsters. Rifts will probably be keeping me busy for a good while, personally.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:


Bieeardo posted:

I remember joking about it when early Werewolf was a thing, but that is pretty damning.

I'm skipping ahead here to chapter four, but since we're talking about it. The head of Pentex Australia is named Jeffrey Blight.

I am almost 100% sure that captain planet was one of Bill Bridges' influences.

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MinistryofLard
Mar 22, 2013


Why do the authors of this book hate wheat so much? I mean, of all the bad things that Europeans brought to Australia, wheat really isn't the worst. Do they have the same levels of hatred for cattle droving and sheep farming?

I think this weird "marsupials have bigger dicks so you're just jealous" thing is symptomatic of this weird White Guilt Captain Planet thing this book has going on. Marsupials aren't European, and thus are the victims of Europeans who hate them because their dicks is bigger they're more in tune with nature.

Which is a weird enough sentiment when you apply it to indigenous Australians, but its just loving bizarre when you start to apply it to animals.

Kurieg posted:

The Capitol of Australia, Canberra, lies within this protectorate, and it's design of districts separated by greenery is apparently the result of Garou inspiration.

Speaking as a Canberra resident, this is up there as one of the most hated things about the place. Garou are dicks.

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