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Week 34: Pick a song and write about it. The wordcount was 1200. My song, per the prompt. sorry for not writing a thing that makes sense A World Behind Worlds 1200 words The gondola came to Jeremy as he lay sniffling in his bed. There was a soft sound outside, and he looked up to see a curious silhouette just outside his window in the moonlight. The creature in the boat looked very much like a pig, except that he wore a jacket and tophat like, Jeremy thought, the Monopoly man. He sat up in bed and wiped stale tears from his face. The window was open to let air into the old attic, and the tip of the gondola’s prow rested lightly on Jeremy’s windowsill. “Hello, Jeremy,” said the pig. “Hello,” said Jeremy. The pig cleared his throat and tugged on the cuffs of his jacket. “I’m here to show you something wonderful. So climb on up here and lets go, your da won’t be asleep for long.” “He’s not my dad,” Jeremy said a little louder than he’d meant to. He dropped his voice to a near whisper. “Plus I can’t go anywhere unless it’s with Mom or Bruce.” There came the heavy tread of footsteps walking toward the trapdoor that led up to Jeremy’s attic. Jeremy threw himself down onto the bed, pulled the blanket up to his chin, and closed his eyes. But the monster beneath the attic only pounded on his trapdoor three times and bellowed something unintelligible. “Please go away,” Jeremy whispered with his eyes closed. “I don’t want to get in trouble again.” When he looked up, there was only the silver dollar moon looking back at him. The next night the gondola came, it was much later; the moon had disappeared behind the roof of a neighboring house. “Psst,” hissed the pig. Jeremy rolled on his side, turning his back to the window, and winced from the fresh bruise on his upper arm. The pig tapped his hoof loudly on the windowsill. Jeremy stiffened, but no sound came from the room below. He sat up and looked at the pig. “What do you want?” he asked. “To help you,” said the pig. “You’re an innocent, lad. We’d like to see you stay that way, at least for a little bit longer.” Jeremy had never been called innocent before. He rolled the word around in his brain. He’d heard it in crime movies, when he was allowed in the living room with Mom. “Look, I’ll get down to brass tacks: Someday, Jeremy, this world will need certain kinds of people. People who believe in things beyond suffering.” “I’m only a kid.” “Exactly, Jeremy. Exactly. That lunk downstairs, sleeping with his chin on his chest and drool stains on his shirt, he’s broken fool. But you. You haven’t been addled by this world, yet. Oh, You’ve taken your lumps. But you’re still salvageable.” When Jeremy didn’t say anything, the pig sighed. “I promise you won’t get in trouble.” Just as Jeremy stood shakily on his mattress to climb onto the gondola, something black and indistinct leapt down from the roof above the window and onto the pig. The gondola pitched violently, scraping against the outside of the house with a sound like ships colliding. Whatever the pig had done to make Bruce and Mom sleep, he hadn’t accounted for so much noise. Jeremy heard an angry shout, the sound of heavy feet stomping across the living room, and the creak of the trap door opening downward. “Jeremy! It’s gone! But you have to hurry,” shouted the pig. He’d fought the creature off and was holding out a hoof toward the window. Bruce’s head appeared through the hole in the attic floor. “That is loving it Jeremy. loving it,” he kept repeating through a wide, toothy smile. Jeremy scrambled toward the window, but the pig and gondola were gone. His momentum carried him out onto the roof. He splayed his arms and legs out to keep from rolling all the way off of the edge, then rolled over on his hands and knees and looked frantically around for the pig. Bruce filled the window, then started to shove his way through it. Jeremy knew there were only a few extra seconds before the huge man got onto the roof, and then what? “Down here,” someone hissed. Jeremy looked over his shoulder, saw the gondola hovering a few feet below the edge. “Can’t let him see me,” said the pig. Jeremy didn’t need to be told to jump. He landed with an oof in the bottom of the gondola. Then they were zipping away through the spaces between sleeping homes, so fast that Jeremy had to squint against the wind. “There’s a monster inside that bastard,” the pig said. “Like the one that ambushed me back there, only worse. If he’d seen me, he’d have gone ballistic.” “Bruce is a real monster?” “More like, he’s got one in his head. Terrible creatures that crawl inside folk, feed on their darkest feelings. But you wee folk, you can learn to protect themselves. Now, hold on!” The gondola accelerated in the air and Jeremy fell onto his back in the bottom of the boat. The stars were a blur overhead, a river of light that went faster and faster until, with a flash, the gondola burst through the skin of this world and arrived in another. They slowed to a ponderous drift, and Jeremy sat up. All around them were massive columns of puffy white cumulounimbus clouds. Spires rose out of these, each one opalescent white and busy with walkways and balconies and terraces. Chains of flowers, some at mile long, were strung between these, and the sky was full of falling petals. “Taste it,” said the pig when a purple petal landed on the back of Jeremy’s hand. He put it in his mouth and laughed when it tasted like sugar and melted like cotton candy on his tongue. “Look, they’re all here for you.” The pig pointed up at the towers. Every walkway and balcony was packed with creatures, some human, some animals on their hind legs like the pig, and some so fantastic that Jeremy wished he could stop and draw them. Everyone cheered and waved for Jeremy. They threw even more flowers down at him, and he threw his head back and stuck his tongue out like he was trying to catch snowflakes. “This is the world behind the world,” the pig said. “Remember this, when you’re older and your world is being cruel. Innocence is the pearl of worlds, lad. Keep it. Treasure it. And when you grow old, take it out and give it a polish every once and a while. You human folk need it. Remember.” Remember... Jeremy found himself very suddenly on his back on the roof of his home. The sun was moments away from creeping over the horizon. His heart sank. The pig, the city, and the smiling crowds cheering just for him had been a dream, and here he’d nearly killed himself sleepwalking on the roof. He sat up and shook off the bleariness of sleep. A single red petal fell out of his hair and landed on his plaid pajama pants. Jeremy took the petal gingerly between two of his fingers and placed it on his tongue. A cinnamon flavor filled his mouth, so spicy he would’ve normally wanted to spit. But he savored it. There was another world. And it loved him. Jeremy pulled his knees up to his chest and stared out east, into the new day
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Aug 4, 2014 07:52
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 Submissions are closed Phobia, post your story within a reasonable timeframe and I'll take it. It might not be able to win (sorry), but it will be in the archive and I'll crit it and stuff. Entenzahn fucked around with this message at 08:20 on Aug 4, 2014 |
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Aug 4, 2014 08:01
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I owe a lot of crits, so here's a tasty little  to get them done within 24 hours from... now.
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Aug 4, 2014 09:07
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 WEEK CIV RESULTS Oh wow what a party heh. I'm still drowsy. Okay, yeah, I'm mostly drunk because I had to judge. You got me! Turnout has been a huge success with only eleven stories submitted. It didn't take long to read through all your stuff, and truly that's the greatest gift of all. That said, QuoProQuid, HopperUK, Benny the Snake, LOU BEGAS MUSTACHE, GMarshal, God Over Djinn, foutre, PootieTang, I am sorry to hear that the prospect of getting to pick your own prompt has hampered your ability to finish a story. Get better soon. Quality was above average, picking a winner wasn't easy. The judges were split so I flipped a coin and ignored it like everyone else. Star of the party was docbeard, the only contestant who was universally liked with a story of space grudges, space betrayals and priorities, in space. Honorable Mentions for bringing themselves: Nethilia, who made me, a heartless monster, shed a single tear Dr. Kloctopussy for inventing the high-octane family drama genre crabrock wrote a CYOA encyclopedia and I hate you but it was still fun Loss goes to party pooper Grizzled Patriarch for his riveting tale of an extra at the set of The Happening. Only funny until they started drunkenly pissing onto the plants, Dishonorable Mentions go to: Meeple for writing an awesome Thunderdome fanfiction poem WeLandedOnTheMoon! for his mess of a family feud that also missed the prompt (you were supposed to tell a story within a story) Everybody else, thanks for coming. Afterparty at docbeard's! WOOOO!
Entenzahn fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Aug 5, 2014 |
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Aug 5, 2014 01:43
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THUNDERDOME CV: Book One We’ve celebrated our Plutonium Anniversary, and we’ve celebrated Thunderdome New Years. Now it’s time to go back to basics. Now it’s time for a new beginning. Your prompt this week is simple, if not easy. You are to write the first episode of a series. The pilot for this years hit TV show, the first volume of an epic trilogy, whatever. This means that your story must accomplish, at minimum, two things: 1) It must be a complete, stand-alone story. It starts, it ends, stuff happens in between. It stands on its own two legs, and it doesn’t fall apart if there’s never any more. 2) While not failing Requirement 1, it must leave an avenue open for more stories featuring your characters within your setting and it must make us actively want to read those stories. Maybe there’s a hint of a larger story arc, maybe your story sets up a premise that supports future episodes, you get the idea. I’m not gonna say “no cliffhangers”, but I think you’d have to be at the top of your game to fulfill Requirement 1 while ending with a big ol' TO BE CONTINUED. Are you at the top of your game? Is it worth the risk? Only you can answer that question. And then later, I and whoever I sucker into judging with me can answer it. The usual no-fanfic, no-porn, make-me-give-a-drat rules apply. Genre and setting are wide open. Everyone who enters will receive a flash rule. Word Limit: 1,111. Signup Deadline: 11 PM CST Friday, August 8. Submission Deadline: 11 PM CST Sunday, August 10. Judges: docbeard HopperUK Mercedes Entries: WeLandedOnTheMoon! - "And through the canyon, they hear 'I love you'." Schneider Heim - "I am not afraid of the world." Grizzled Patriarch - "You gotta get up." perpetulance - "My voice is real but not my own." crabrock - "Old heat of a raging fire, come and light my eyes" Thalamas - "I guess those were the golden years" Meinberg - "One of us got clumsy, and both of us got wise" Meeple - "Let them know me as the footprints that I left upon the sand." Phobia - "Let them cry for laughter's end" Duke of the Bump - "Forever's the blink of an eye." Djeser - "Follow that dollar for a long way down" Fumblemouse - "It's just a lot to ask to watch your future walking past me" SurreptitiousMuffin - "Nobody knows where that old train goes, those who go they don't come back." Jick Magger - "The wolves will chase you by the pale moonlight" Alpacalips Now - "But out in the distance there's a glow that nobody sees, so nobody knows" Jagermonster - "All of us, we’re meant for the fire" Entenzahn - "Tangled, entwined, we have climbed, we have wrangled" AaronMFK - "Under the bad moon, and under the thin moon." theblunderbuss - "I was born here and I’ll die here against my will." Crayonskies - "Never knew there were worse things than dying." Broenheim - "When's the last time you saw the sky?" Drunk Nerds - "A little moonshine ain't no sin." Jon Joe - "What the boss don't know, the boss won't mind." Number 36 - "It's like I've slipped between fingers of the century." Gau - "Empty as a mirror" Obliterati - "There are echoes in the garden." lambeth - "Restless nights and one-night cheap hotels." Tyrannosaurus - "I want a nice soft place to land." Lead out in cuffs - "She's out of sight, and he's out of his mind." Anathema Device - "You and your pity don't fit in my bed." docbeard fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Aug 9, 2014 |
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Aug 5, 2014 03:16
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Edit: never mind :-(
Zurui fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Aug 5, 2014 |
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Aug 5, 2014 03:21
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sign up post
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Aug 5, 2014 03:36
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I have returned. In.
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Aug 5, 2014 03:44
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WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:sign up post Flash Rule: "And through the canyon, they hear 'I love you'." Schneider Heim posted:I have returned. In. Flash Rule: "I am not afraid of the world."
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Aug 5, 2014 03:48
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Welp, the only way up is through. In.
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Aug 5, 2014 03:56
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In.
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Aug 5, 2014 04:00
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Grizzled Patriarch posted:Welp, the only way up is through. In. Flash Rule: "You gotta get up." Flash Rule: "My voice is real but not my own."
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Aug 5, 2014 04:03
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i'm in but i don't understand the flash rules.
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Aug 5, 2014 04:24
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Okay, here are crits for last week: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pLMSLkIArafNTzKt019aC3clUzdQYqtQnJf5FLxL6SY/edit?usp=sharing I'm in.
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Aug 5, 2014 04:47
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I might as well. In
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Aug 5, 2014 05:05
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In. Is the flash rule a quote we have to include?
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Aug 5, 2014 05:27
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In
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Aug 5, 2014 06:34
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Bingo Week crits for Obliterati, Thalamas, Entenzahn, Meeple, Helsing, Mercedes, Number 36 and Alpacalips Now.
sebmojo fucked around with this message at 09:36 on Aug 5, 2014 |
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Aug 5, 2014 09:33
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Okay, so I was planning to stay far away from this week but this prompt intrigues me. So I'm in. However, I've got to pay my TD dues so let me make a bold promise at 5 AM. Brawl with Ducky, in on time. My story for this week, in on time. My story for last week, in before the deadline on Sunday. If I miss any of these deadlines then me. Or change my custom title to "Entenzahn's Babby Bitch" because he's at the center of all of this apparently.(I'll squeeze in any owed crits if possible. If I owe you a line-by-line let me know, that totally slipped my mind.)
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Aug 5, 2014 10:03
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I'm in. Thanks for the crits, Thalamas. I'll try harder next time.
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Aug 5, 2014 10:44
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Interpret the flash rules however you please. There's no need to incorporate the quotes directly, but they should inform your story in some way. How they do so is up to you. (I am definitely not just throwing random lyrics from whatever song happens to be stuck in my head at the time I saw your signup at you. That's not it at all. No.) crabrock posted:i'm in but i don't understand the flash rules. Flash Rule: "Old heat of a raging fire, come and light my eyes" Thalamas posted:I'm in. Flash Rule: "I guess those were the golden years" Meinberg posted:I might as well. Flash Rule: "One of us got clumsy, and both of us got wise" Flash Rule: "Let them know me as the footprints that I left upon the sand." Phobia posted:Okay, so I was planning to stay far away from this week but this prompt intrigues me. So I'm in. Flash Rule: "Let them cry for laughter's end" Duke of the Bump posted:I'm in. Flash Rule: "Forever's the blink of an eye."
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Aug 5, 2014 10:48
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Been out of the game too long. Put me in.
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Aug 5, 2014 11:10
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I like the cut of your gib-board, beardo. Count me in.
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Aug 5, 2014 11:34
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Sure, hit me.
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Aug 5, 2014 13:47
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Thanks for the crits/judging Entenzahn, Fumblemouse, Sebmojo, and Thalamas
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Aug 5, 2014 13:49
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I'm in.
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Aug 5, 2014 14:39
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Unsure if you caught my sign-up, so I'm in. Thanks for the critique, Seb!
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Aug 5, 2014 14:51
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In.
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Aug 5, 2014 14:55
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In.
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Aug 5, 2014 18:32
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crabrock posted:i'm in but i don't understand the flash rules.  WEEOOO WEEEOOOO WEEEOOOO WEEEOOOO!!!! Mercedes here with his second super-special-I-won-a-TD-and-now-I-get-to-drop-flash-rules Flash Rule!!  Pick a story title, any story title and write about that. Don't tell us! I wanna know from reading it.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:56
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I had a feeling I'd be the recipient of at least one of those.
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Aug 5, 2014 21:22
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Fresh meat here. I've read the first post, and I've been watching for the last few weeks. In.
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Aug 5, 2014 23:39
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In.
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Aug 6, 2014 00:20
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AaronMFK posted:Fresh meat here. I've read the first post, and I've been watching for the last few weeks. In. you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to not read anything and barge in and post a lot and then submit a horrible story. GOSH
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Aug 6, 2014 00:36
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[spins through dramatic underlighting, both middle fingers in the air] Prepare for my fanfic.
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Aug 6, 2014 00:50
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Djeser posted:Been out of the game too long. Put me in. Flash Rule: "Follow that dollar for a long way down" Fumblemouse posted:I like the cut of your gib-board, beardo. Count me in. Flash Rule: "It's just a lot to ask to watch your future walking past me" SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Sure, hit me. Flash Rule: Jick Magger posted:I'm in. Flash Rule: "The wolves will chase you by the pale moonlight" Alpacalips Now posted:Unsure if you caught my sign-up, so I'm in. "But out in the distance there's a glow that nobody sees, so nobody knows" Flash Rule: "All of us, we’re meant for the fire" Flash Rule: "Tangled, entwined, we have climbed, we have wrangled" AaronMFK posted:Fresh meat here. I've read the first post, and I've been watching for the last few weeks. In. Flash Rule: "Under the bad moon, and under the thin moon." Flash Rule: "I was born here and I’ll die here against my will."
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Aug 6, 2014 01:05
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This is probably a terrible idea. But not doing it is probably a worse idea. So being that it's the lesser of two evils... I'm in. Crayonskies fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Aug 6, 2014 |
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Aug 6, 2014 01:13
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I did a few extra crits for week 103. I can do more in-depth crits for anyone who wants them from that week, but I don't think the rest of you needed it much. Number 36: A Tower of Joy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZjJkQ2jwdYkj38v40TQzJ3AlrnIuyXM6ty31SGhgY0c/edit bromplicated: Return from Evernight https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJbEQuVAtpTpVl1PG2-2FWI_HF9AFgA-kAx_WLjce-M/edit Gau: In Search of Eons Past https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jP-NgMNyIZdx3cnHOfbJv8omSBMvj_5Fr_IGW7b1uaA/edit Benny the Snake: Burn the Witch https://docs.google.com/document/d/1u5113uBVQpjFeFVxTw3evfDhInqT5Rz1TOMJ2KrjwHg/edit Hammer Bro.: Temperance https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n0VYg_98uUm0ef0tcuyL_twKrey9ADyRADgnQljt1vQ/edit e; fixed permissions, whoops Echo Cian fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Aug 6, 2014 |
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Aug 6, 2014 01:37
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Sure, I'm in.
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Aug 6, 2014 02:02
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Drunk Nerds easily claims last place. In
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Aug 6, 2014 02:22
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