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Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Henotheism predates monotheism by quite a bit. One of the big theories about where monotheism may've come from is the idea that it may've been a theological innovation to explain the defeat of the Hebrew state by Babylon and the subsequent Exile. After all, under normal henotheistic thinking that would be a sign that Yahweh was not the most powerful possible patron God since Babylon's defeat of the Kingdom and destruction of the Temple would be assumed to be mirrored in the cosmic realm by Marduk symbolically defeating Yahweh. As we can see in the Book of Jeremiah, though, the Prophet Jeremiah explains instead that Yahweh was the more powerful God but simply refused to fight to aid the Hebrews because they had broken their covenant with Him and thus He allowed them to be taken into the power of the Babylonians. This innovation would allow Yahweh to remain chief God of the cosmos (and later develop into an idea that He was the only actual God) because any defeat could be explained by His displeasure rather than His weakness.

I have a feeling that as someone who studies this poo poo, watching it get converted into D&D is going to make me really angry. Also, Moses would in no way have Paladin levels, he's Cleric all the way if anything; it'd be his successor, Joshua, who would be all SMITE AND CLEAVE LEAVE NO UNBELIEVER UPON THE LAND all the time, considering the doctrine of total sacral warfare laid down in the book of Deuteronomy (That those who occupy the Land promised to the Israelites should be utterly destroyed and all spoil destroyed to offer up to Yahweh) demanded such thoroughness. We actually see that happen in the Book of Joshua, when a soldier named Achan violates the doctrine of sacral destruction and hides some spoil for himself, and as a result the Lord allows the Israelites to be defeated by the men of Ai and routed until Joshua uncovers his sin (after being yelled at by Yahweh) and destroys the hidden goods, at which point they continue to Smite And Cleave all across the Land.

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Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable

I didn't know anything about Synnibar's setting until now. It's impressive how it just continues to ramp up in craziness. Also, at some point dwarves showed up?

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 5, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!
So I'm reading through Death to the Minotaur on account of being reminded of it by Designers & Dungeons, and coincidentally came across:

John Tynes posted:

I myself interviewed Raven C.S. McCracken, who was already a legendary industry boob for his terrible self-published role-playing game, the World of Synnibarr. When Raven told me that if I didn’t hire him [at Wizards of the Coast] his next job interview would be at Burger King, I thanked him for his time and politely showed him the door.

Boy, someday I want to be a "legendary industry boob". :allears:

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable

You'll need a name at least as crazy as Raven C. S. McCracken.

theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.

Green Intern posted:

I didn't know anything about Synnibar's setting until now. It's impressive how it just continues to ramp up in craziness. Also, at some point dwarves showed up?

Yep. You've got all the fantasy races. Dwarfs, winged warriors, weremen, psi-elves, talking raccoons. Whatever you want!

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 5, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!

Green Intern posted:

You'll need a name at least as crazy as Raven C. S. McCracken.

Just call me J. R. "Stone" McGillicutty, then.

That Old Tree
Jun 24, 2012

nah


My friends and I have gotten 10x more delight out of Synnibar than half of the other games on our shelves. We'd never in a million years finish making a single character, let alone playing it. Its raw 80's hair metal vanity project sci-fi movie style coupled with literally insane rules just make it impossible not to have fun randomly reading nearly any page.

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable

Alien Rope Burn posted:

Just call me J. R. "Stone" McGillicutty, then.

Ramrod Q. E. D. O'Shaunessy

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!
It's not that henotheism doesn't match the setting (thanks to Fossilized Rappy and Night10194 for reminding me what the term was--I couldn't recall it), since it does: clerics, etc and divine magic/miracles are as important as any other 3.x-era setting even without things like Elijah vs the prophets of Baal in source material. It's more that it surprised me to slap a BIBLE TIMES label on it and then make a basic setting assumption that most American Christians would not agree is Biblical. But, honestly, I'm not fully equipped to look at this as a comparative religions course or anything. I'm just here to roll some twenty-siders.


Testament: Roleplaying in the Biblical Era, part 2

Chapter 1 opens with us being told that there are only two real differences between core 3rd edition and Testament character creation: GM picking campaign era, and the player picking his character's nationality and character flaw. Pretty much the case. Notably, though, it does not exclude the part where you pick your character race except as one tiny optional thing at the start of chapter 9 (the bestiary) and the character classes do talk about how small/Dwarf characters get special cases, so... yeah, some of the Canaanites are gnomes and some of the Israelites are elves, I guess, unless all of them are human and there are rules for impossible characters. Roll with it.

The era is just sort of the broad point in the timeline where the adventure takes place, starting Antediluvian (pre-Noah's Flood) at about 3000 BCE (the book sticks to BCE/CE notation) and running all the way to the Maccabees, ending in 135 BCE... a little early for the historical Maccabeans, but I don't know the history well enough to comment on it. Each of the nine listed eras has two paragraphs: one describing the general state of the world, and the other talking about what sort of adventures fit it well. I approve! The only era that has special rules, at least here, is the Antediluvian era, where age categories are multiplied by ten. So elves here can live 3500+(4d%x10) years or well over seven millennia with a good roll.

On to the nationality. Nationality is Babylonian, Canaanite, Egyptian or Israelite. Each gives some idea of what they're like, what they speak, and what classes they can be.



I include an example of that, chosen for the note I circled. It amused me.

PCs also get a Flaw in Testament. It's not the anti-feat of some other supplements, nor is it optional. Pick your character's big issue. Roleplay it at least somewhat. They range from being deceitful to racist to lecherous to vain.

Languages are next: they come with not only that language, but also its language FAMILY. If you can pass an intelligence check, you can get your point across through the language family while not sharing a language. Pretty neat, if only Comprehend Languages wasn't already around itself.

Literacy is also inverted from normal: you're illiterate unless you take knowing how to write as a language slot or drop skill points on it. Priests and arcane casters don't have to.



On to classes! Again, each nation background has its own list. Some are core classes and prestige classes, and this book has new and replacement classes as well. Israelite classes are first, since they're the usual PC option. The first up is Levite Priest. This class replaces the cleric. Compared to the stock cleric, the Levite priest has a little less HP, a lot more skill points, less armor/shield proficiency, a handful more spells/day with a few added restrictions, and a grab bag of other specials.

Their spellcasting is... impressive, honestly. They don't prepare spells: they cast like a sorcerer whose list of spells known is "all cleric spells", but on a better-than-cleric schedule of slots... and they can ask the Lord to let them use druid or wizard spells, too! They just have to pass a piety check to do so, but we don't know how that works, yet, so I don't know if that's trivial or almost impossible. The downsides: no Evil magic, no planar travel, no raise dead, and no non-lifesaving spells cast on the Sabbath. An easier check is needed to cast certain spells labeled "difficult", basically for being too flashy for the Lord who hung around Egypt and Sinai being about as subtle as a volcano. Possibly in an oversight, the list of difficult spells includes a couple of spells excluded from their lists, like Death Knell. Also, to regain an expended slot, a Levite priest has to either sacrifice or promise to sacrifice livestock at the Temple equal to 5 gp/spell level. So if you're willing to sacrifice your camel (100 gp), that's worth two level 9 spells and a level 2. Probably not the largest drain on a character's finances. Questing for the Lord can sidestep this, too.

Now, their other class features: turn undead is replaced by turn demon-possessed, which is functionally the same barring its find-replace change. Craft Phylacteries of Power (level 3) lets them make a special divine focus that gives them +1 to spell DCs, quickens all 0-level spells, and a few other bonuses. Arcane spell resistance (level 5) gives them SR 5+class level against arcane spells. Protection from Serpents (level 8) is +2 AC against dragons, half-dragons and anything else vaguely snakey. Speak with Serpents, at the same level, lets them also always talk to the same and use stuff like Charm Person on them no matter their creature type. Scribe Torah Scroll (level 10) gives them a permanent Magic Circle Against Evil and a couple lesser effects. Plague (level 13) gives them... a big bonus to plague-related spells. Battlefield Inspiration (level 15) ties into what looks to be a mass combat system I haven't dug into yet. Turn or Rebuke Dragons (level 18) just adds dragons to their turning targets. Their capstone, Shield of the Lord (level 20) only comes into play when someone kills them. The killer gets hit with Bestow Affliction. The priest is still dead.

So, overall, it's a class that hits the same role in D&D as a cleric, but with a lot of skills and a bit more magical flexibility to make up for lower combat ability. It has a pretty clear role in the setting and is set up to match it well. Probably too powerful (a cleric that can spontaneously cast wizard spells?), but, well, 3rd edition D&D.

Next time: I'll go through more of the classes, maybe all of them with a more general overview. I wanted to disassemble this one because I think it's one of the neatest and as an example of what the rest look like, but that might wear thin unless you really want to see the guts of an old d20 game and how the classes match up. Let me know if you have an opinion!

MartianAgitator
Apr 30, 2003

Damn Earth! Damn her!
That sounds fun and goofy and you're doing great!

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



ZeeToo posted:

You won't find any real support here to let you adventure with (or after) Jesus.

That's a shame. I would think half the reason of playing this thing is so you could roll out the old "Jesus saves, all others take 2D6 damage" joke with a totally straight face.

Saguaro PI
Mar 11, 2013

Totally legit tree
I'm not the only one who thinks that dude's hat looks like a butt, right? Just so we're clear.

Vox Valentine
May 31, 2013

Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

Saguaro PI posted:

I'm not the only one who thinks that dude's hat looks like a butt, right? Just so we're clear.

His hat looks like some drat tasty bread.

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!

Testament: Roleplaying in the Biblical Era, part 3

Today we're starting with the Psalmist. This is the Israelites' answer to the bard. They get less skill points but medium armor and all martial weapons. They're divine casters, get a handful more spells/day than bards and a much larger number of spells known, but a rather different (and slightly smaller) spell list:



I think the selection is a little better than a bard, but feel free to correct me. If you can't read it... well, go get an 800x600 monitor so it looks larger. That's 101% zoom in my PDF.

Now, on to their other features. They don't have the equivalent of Bardic Knowledge and only roughly get Bardic Music. Worship Circle (level 1) requires at least ten Israelites to form a circle for a full round, then get +1 to saving throws for 3+wis mod rounds. Can you say "situational"? Situational is being very nice. Psalm of Protection (level 4) is +2 to AC for as long as he keeps singing (move-equivalent). This and all future "Psalm of" powers are 1/day, but the psalmist gets Selah (level 6) to let him use a full round action immediately after stopping the psalm to recover a use. That can be done 1/day at level 6, +1 for every four more levels. So, you know, basically the psalmist's psalms are not as easy to spam as bardic music, with the clear intent of being more powerful in exchange. Psalm of Fortitude (level 8) gives allies fast healing 3. Psalm of Travel (level 12) is a movement speed boost. Chorus of the Lord (level 14) lets you use back-up singers to bump up your effective caster level for spells, which is awesome and I love it. Psalm of Battle (level 16) is +1 melee damage and morale checks.

Overall, it's a roughly comparable match to the bard, while hitting its theme well.

With Levite Priest, that's the Israelites' unique base classes. They can also be Fighters, Paladins, Rangers, Rogues, Sorcerers and Testament's unique Spy class that's at the back of the class section for everyone to share. They get some prestige classes from the DMG, but of more interest to us are their unique prestige classes.



I think I have this guy on my lawn

Champion of Israel is a fighter upgrade with a hefty set of prereqs, including a feat tax (Endurance), skill in Perform, and a BAB of +8. In exchange, he can up his strength for brief moments, reroll and pick damage, buff up Cleave and get some tolerable critical-based buffs. It's a good class if you think the fighter is a good class. It won't win any awards otherwise. Of course, you do have to keep to the Lord's commandments. As the game tells us "Not all have teh [sic] fortitude to truly walk the path of the champion of Israel". This book is... not well edited.

Judge is a weird paladin downgrade who gives up some of the paladin's stuff (d8 HD and no mount buffs, but smite evil still goes up) for 1/day Planar Ally spells and some "see through deceit" bonuses. Not very good unless you're playing CSI:The Holy Land.


Prophet is the supposedly awesome prestige class for those who truly serve the Lord as his heralds. It's a divine spellcasting prestige class that gives +5 spellcasting levels in 10 class levels, so it's terrible by default. If you want details, it tries to make up for that by getting +Wis mod to AC, some spell resistance and permissible resurrection. The permissible resurrection states that the character can only have one dead-raising spell prepared at a time. That is... not meaningful. The only classes that can qualify for this prestige class and have any raise dead spell are the Levite priest and the psalmist, neither of whom prepare spells.

That's the last of the Israel-specific classes; next time we'll look at the setting's wizard variants for the other cultures; the stock wizard has no place in Testament, it seems.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

It's kind of interesting that Judges aren't leaders. The Book of Judges is about a succession of Israelite leaders pre-monarchy, with the Judges serving as the overall leaders (and in the case of Samson, asskickers) of the people.

Simian_Prime
Nov 6, 2011

When they passed out body parts in the comics today, I got Cathy's nose and Dick Tracy's private parts.

ZeeToo posted:

That's the last of the Israel-specific classes; next time we'll look at the setting's wizard variants for the other cultures; the stock wizard has no place in Testament, it seems.

"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" - Exodus 22:18 :catholic::hf::jewish:

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 5, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!

Night10194 posted:

It's kind of interesting that Judges aren't leaders. The Book of Judges is about a succession of Israelite leaders pre-monarchy, with the Judges serving as the overall leaders (and in the case of Samson, asskickers) of the people.

This was written during a time in 3e there really wasn't a leader role in the game (unless you count bards or clerics). The idea of a martial leader class hadn't really entered the d20 consciousness yet, certainly. IIRC, this is a 3e book; 3.5 wasn't even out yet.

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!

Simian_Prime posted:

"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" - Exodus 22:18 :catholic::hf::jewish:

Of course, Israelites can be sorcerers with no problem in Testament...


Testament: Roleplaying in the Biblical Era, part 4

Egypt is up next. Egyptian classes are Bard, Cleric, Fighter, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Spy and the Testament-exclusive wizard replacement Khery-heb.



The Khery-heb is largely a wizard. Their spellbook is fluffed as a scroll case. Otherwise, they're wizards with a miniscule difference or two in terms of spells/day and no crossbow proficiency. The big difference is that they trade familiar and bonus feats for a new set of features based around "being literate": They get the Scribe and Scribe Scroll feats as bonuses. Their Domain Spell (level 1) lets them write their deity's domain spells as scrolls, then use them. They can't use non-Khery-heb scrolls of that spell, any other divine spells, or any other edge you find. Just those specific domains.

At level 2, they get Craft Mekhtet as a bonus feat. Flip over to feats... "Benefit: You can create amulets called mekhtets" and another page reference number. Flip over to there, and it says to go BACK to where I just was for details on the crafting. Lovely. These mekhtets are rather minor items, like one that gives +1 to Intuit Direction checks when lost in the desert (if you've forgotten, Intuit Direction was a skill 3.5 dropped for being generally worthless) or +2 to hiding from hippos. No, really, those are real examples.

Create Minor Shabti (level 3) lets the Khery-heb carve wooden figurines that basically act as slightly better Unseen Servants. Of more immediate use, giving one to a dead body gives you piety, and it can be spammed pretty much forever. A single week's Minor Shabti work can give you enough piety to outweigh deserting your military post so you can go murder the Pharoah, then erasing his name in his tomb and putting in a witty disparaging nickname instead, writing a confession of this and your magical secrets on a cat, selling that cat to a foreign merchant, and then lying about all the above. So, you know, don't do that more than once a week and you're a-okay in the gods' sight.

Enhance Mekhtet (level 5) gives minor bonuses to your hippo-hiding. Enhance Scroll (level 7) lets you freely apply some metamagic to spells cast from a scroll and I gotta say I like this. Craft Major Shabti (level 10) lets you create a bit of a speedbump of a fighter instead of the basic version's laborer. It's not going to be useful in combat, but you can give this one up to get +5 piety! Sadly, you can only do it once a week, so my dreams of figurine-crafting to abuse Pharoahs every day is going to go unrealized. Divine Reading (level 11) lets you use your scrolls with no concentration check or attacks of opportunity. Greater Isefet (level 13) refers us to a minor subheading in the piety chapter which basically is your typically-understood Voodoo doll curse, ancient Egypt-style, and this greater version lets you do it better. Divine Vessel (level 15) lets you channel a god to replace your head with an animal head, giving you a surprising amount of resilience and a unique bonus based on what god you follow. Twice-Read Scroll (level 17) lets you read a scroll twice before it disappears. True Magic (level 2) lets you write 30 levels of spells on a scroll, and those spells are cast at +4 to beat SR, +4 to DCs, and heightened/enlarged/empowered for free. What's that? You didn't know scrolls could carry more than one spell? Well, it turns out they always have, it's just that every DM and adventure writer gave you "Scroll of Whatever" instead of a scroll with six spells.

Overall, this is a fun little class, it's just that the writers overlooked one infinite piety machine. Also it's better than a stock wizard. That probably bears mentioning.



Egyptians have only one unique prestige class: the Ren-haku. It's a caster-upgrade class based around true names (this is the first time we've had true names mentioned and there's no cross-referencing or anything) that gets half casting increase. It's useless. It doesn't have any interesting abilities except for the capstone, where they can throw a few HP into splitting their soul off into a hawk so if you kill them they respawn at full HP where the hawk is. The limit is that this is a 1 hour/month power.


On to Babylon! Babylonians can be bards, clerics, fighters, paladins, rangers, rogues, sorcerers, spies, a class called "Qedeshot" that's actually filed under Canaanites in the book, and their wizard variant, the Magus of the Starry Host.



The Magus of the Starry Host has the same lack-of-crossbow as the Khery-heb and normal wizard casting schedule. Their unique gimmick is... no spellbooks. They glean their spells from watching stars at night, and don't have to prepare their spells; they cast from spells known like a sorcerer. Again on to their class features. Domain spell (level 1) gives them access to Heaven domain spells as arcane. Spells in the Heavens (level 1) is how they refresh their expended slots: spend an hour at night watching a specifc star. Pick Polaris and never go south of the equator. Compound Wondrous Incense (level 1) lets them create incense that's largely less interesting than the Khery-heb's amulets. Spell Pilgrimage (level 2) is how the Magus gains new spells known. Largely it seems like a combination of "roll until you get lucky" (so you don't go "oh, I can learn Wish if I get... nine hundred miles away in less than a week and a half") and "built-in plot hook", since you're probably not the ONLY person heading off to see the eclipse or whatever.

At every 4th level, the Magus gets Lore Pilgrimage. Same thing, but the benefit is bonus skill points or a bonus metamagic feat, possibly. I think there's a mistake here, because it goes onto just talking about learning "a spell" instead of that. Brew Potion (level 6) is just a bonus feat. Scrying Star (level 10) gives you a bonus to Scry checks, you know, that other skill they got rid of for being useless. Nondetection (level 14) gives the magus the effect of the spell of the same name when his star is visible, so only at night when it's not too cloudy. Meh. Observatory (level 18) lets you build a 50,000 GP pyramid observatory where all spells you prepare from there are at +1 DC.

It's... a neat class, but I can't help but feel it's too much "wizard plus busywork".


There are no Babylonian prestige classes, so it's off to Canaanite classes. They can be bards, clerics, fighters, paladins, rangers, rogues, sorcerers, spies and the same Qedeshot that Babylonians can be.

So... Qedeshot. Qedeshim if you're a boy.



They're fertility clerics/temple prostitutes of Asherah or Istar. It's... not as bad as you might think when you throw "d20" and "sexual content" together, honestly. It's got a note about it being a bit of a sensitive topic, for one. I kind of like the class, but it's got some issues. The biggest one is that it's useless. Qedeshot only gets spells up to 6th level, on a bard time table. Clerics exist in these cultures. Nothing else the Qedeshot gets makes up for the low casting. If you for some reason ran a Testament campaign in Babylon or Canaan, I'd probably recommend banning normal clerics (and maybe bards) just so these guys have a chance to... be useful.

Details 4+Int mod skills, only simple weapons and no armor. Otherwise HD/BAB/saves are bard. Qedeshot are charisma-based casters with domains, but the domain choices are... badly written.

quote:

A qedeshot selects two domains: one must be Fertility, and the other is chosen from among the other domains of her deity: Animal, Heaven, and Plant. She selects and casts domain spells as per other clerics. She also gets the granted powers of both her selected domains. A qedeshot of Asherah may select Water and a qedeshot of Ishtar must select either Destruction or War for her second domain.

So, a Canaanite, following Asherah, gets Fertility and one of: Animal, Heaven, Plant or Water. A Babylonian, following Ishtar, gets Fertility and one of Destruction or War. I have no idea why that got rendered as it did above; it's just badly composed enough to make you have to stop and untangle it. Qedeshot can spontaneously convert spells to inflict/cure. I'm not sure if it's "both" or just one.



On to the non-casting stuff, at level 1 the Qedeshot gets Charisma Defense, which is Cha mod to AC and gives them a little defense since they're running around in gauze. Akin to a bard, the Qedeshot gets the ability to Dance instead of bardic music. 1/day at level 1, one extra per 3 extra levels. They can use this for Fascinate, Inspiration at level 3 (close to Inspire Courage), Sanctuary at level 6 (like the cleric spell), Pain at level 9 (Perform vs Will for near-zero damage at melee range... why?), Damnation at level 12 (dance, point at a guy, everyone ELSE makes a will save not to attack him) and Death at level 15 (Perform vs Will or DEATH). Damnation points out that it can compel "demi-humans", which is not a term 3rd edition D&D uses and just keeps blurring whether we have half-orcs and halflings or not.

Create Magic Items (level 1) is a misleading name. It specifies that Qedeshot does not qualify for Item Creation feats except the two tricks it gets in its own features.

Kiss (level 2) is a 1/day, one more for every three more levels, benefit the Qedeshot bestows. Its duration goes up with level, and lets the Qedeshot's other buffing spells and features work at enhanced power. A good and flavorful way for a class based on fertility and community to show that.

Passion (level 3) says it's time to get down to the fuckin'. After sex, Perform vs Will or the subject gets basically a boosted Charm effect, but it's not all bad: the thrall can get bonuses and make it easier for the Qedeshot to heal them. Eh. Only humans or half-Nephilim can be thralls, and being a thrall to one Qedeshot blocks another. So only humans because dwarves are not allowed in or should that be read as only "humanoids"? Wait, the Half-Nephilim template can be applied to aberrations, so a Gibbering Mouther can be seduced but a full Nephilim can't?

Freedom of Dance (level 5) says that a dancing Qedeshot gets freedom of movement (the spell) and cannot be flanked or flat-footed except by a rogue 4+ levels higher. Carve Asherah Pole (level 7) lets you make a big phallic landmark and gain some benefits while near it, which fits the community thing. Brew Oils (level 10) lets the Qedeshot do the brew potion stuff, but only as oil you rub all over yourself. Exalted Dance (level 13) negates all attacks of opportunity or needed concentration checks while you dance.

So... overall, it's a light support/healing/buffing class with themes of community and fertility. It's a good class in a group of fighters, rangers and rogues, but even a bard and certainly any primary caster just blows these guys out of the water in terms of utility. They do have a sexual component, but it's not overwhelming or played weird.


Next we get into the generic classes. That will be the last of this chapter; after this the book takes a sharp turn into... well, not exactly bad...

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

You mock hippo-hiding, but Hippos will gently caress YOU UP. Hell, we think that in the Book of Job, one of the Chaos Demons that God boasts of defeating is actually just a hippo by description. The Behemoth, I believe. I'd sure as hell want to hide from Hippos.

ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!
Oh, no, hippos are a serious threat to normal people. To the wizard-scribes of Egypt, maybe not so much. I couldn't tell you if they actually are, because it turns out there's no stats for hippos, anyway.

And Testament's Behemoth is a bit... different.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

ZeeToo posted:

Oh, no, hippos are a serious threat to normal people. To the wizard-scribes of Egypt, maybe not so much. I couldn't tell you if they actually are, because it turns out there's no stats for hippos, anyway.

And Testament's Behemoth is a bit... different.

What is this weak poo poo? Hippos are like the number one cold blooded killing machine of the Nile!

Gazetteer
Nov 22, 2011

"You're talking to cats."
"And you eat ghosts, so shut the fuck up."




The Creature

This is the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Like, let’s not dance around that -- that’s literally what we’re dealing with here. This is a skin about being a scaly aquatic water monster thing that CAME FROM THE SWAMP. Only… you’re also a hot teenager, because of course you are. And you’ve got a preachy environmental cause you won’t shut up about to anyone who’ll listen. That kind of works as a skin concept, too -- I’m pretty sure everyone remembers someone from highschool pushing an issue that they have more righteous fervor for than actual understanding of. It’s also an excuse to establish like… a big evil factory that has just moved to town, or something, which could be interesting.

Ultimately, though, the Creature exists somewhere between the Beast and the Calaca -- it’s got a firm concept… but not firm enough. And it’s got some moves that actually engage with that concept… but not enough of them, and when they do make the attempt, they wind up kind of clumsy. So, this is an improvement over both of them in a way, but we’ve still got a long way to go before I’d be comfortable handing this to a new player and saying “here, this is a good skin, give it a try!”

Some of the Origins are pretty cool. I like that both “last of your kind” and “first of your kind” are options -- “chemical exposure” feels particularly appropriate to me, though.

The Creature’s good stats are Cold and Volatile. Which is a bit weird for a skin that’s about pushing an agenda, all considered, because it means that they’re not very good at interacting with others in any kind of positive way. Cold is the defencive social stat, so they’re relatively hard to rattle. This does mean that the most effective way this skin has to actively enforce their agency is violence, however, which does work with the old timey movie monster angle.

Skin Moves

The Creature starts with Missing Link and two other moves.

Missing Link
You can breathe underwater, swim really well, and see even when you’re at the bottom of a swamp or whatever. Basically, you have all the powers of Superfriends Aquaman aside from being able to talk to fish.

Additionally, you have an “environmentalist cause.” This move really doesn’t do enough to establish what the cause entails, but I gather it’s meant to be something like “stop the swamp from being filled in for the new shopping mall.” The whole idea is that you’re not just an environmentalist so much as you’re trying to defend your home. You get a +1 to any rolls you make to try and further your cause, but whenever you do that, you get the Fanatic condition.

This should have been two moves. And the “is an angry hippy kid” part should have been elaborated on a lot more, specifically noting that the cause directly impacts you as a local water monster. I’m also of the opinion that if you’re going to give a special condition out every time you engage with what should be your skin’s core mechanic, it should have some special effect or synergy with the rest of your moves. Fanatic doesn’t, and is more or less just treated as an easy penalty.

Came Up Tails
You can turn your legs into a mermaid-style tail. While you’re like that, you can’t Run Away on land, because moves that make it so you can’t use other moves are always fun. If you’re like this while in water, though, you always treat Run Away as if you’d rolled a 10. Anyone seeing you with a tail for the first time marks experience, but you also take a string on them. You can’t change your tail back into legs unless you dry it off completely.

A move that lets you avoid rolling is not generally a good idea -- hard moves and partial successes are there to make the game interesting, and Run Away’s 10+ result is not terribly interesting without the risk of something worse happening. All that penalty for using this on land accomplishes is making it so players are a lot less likely to even bother. People marking experience implies that being spotted while looking all fishy is something you and the other players want to happen, but the skin doesn’t really do anything with that outside of this move.

Cold Fury
When you Lash Out Physically in service to your cause, you do can do an extra harm. This is basically the Angel’s Smiting move, but worse because it’s impossible to use without Missing Link. Also, you could probably take Smiting in order to stack the bonuses pretty easily, which is cause for some concern.

Frog Kiss
Oh my god, this move. If you kiss someone while you’re both underwater, they can breathe underwater like you can, as long as they stay near you. That’s kind of weak for a move without some core benefit to taking them underwater with you, but it’s not the worst thing ever, right?

Well, this move also makes it so that if you kiss anyone while you’re both on dry land, “their lungs fill with water.” The person who you are kissing then needs to literally save or die.They roll Hot -- on a 10 up, they take one harm. On a 7-9, they take two harm. On a miss, in a particularly bad example of one of these skins taking the choice of hard move away from the MC, they flatout drown. NPCs always drown. Yes, this is literally a move where if you kiss an NPC on dry land they just drop dead.

Many Monsterhearts moves are actually just an excuse to encourage people to make really dumb or dangerous decisions. But the thing is, the game does this by giving you a mechanical benefit for acting in those ways. This doesn’t do that. Why would anyone ever agree to kiss you on dry land, with the knowledge that their character might basically drown for no reason on a botched roll? Why would the Creature’s player ever try to kiss someone while on dry land unless they’re like… intentionally trying to kill them? Is being able to make out underwater with your date really a good enough tradeoff for this?

No. Of course it isn’t.

Frog Song
This is a soap boxing move. When you make an impassioned speech to try and get someone to join your cause, roll with Volatile. On a 10 up, they mark experience if they help you out. On a 7-9, you get a string on them. On a miss (*sigh*) they get a string on you.

So, this is actually an awesome idea for a move -- this actually engages meaningfully with the cause mechanic from Missing Link by encouraging you to be a preachy teenager with a cause, and it lets the Creature cover for their bad Hot stat with their good Volatile stat, in a way that’s a lot more interesting than “roll to Manipulate an NPC with volatile.” However, mentioning your cause by name is still bad MH design. I also feel like the 7-9 is a little bit weak, and as always I just kind of resent the presence of the “on a miss” clause in general. This would work a lot better if it were something like, they mark experience for doing what you ask on a 7-9, and give some additional benefit for the 10+ result.

Hot and Wet
When you’re “soaking wet and showing a lot of skin”, you can roll Cold to Turn someone on or Manipulate an NPC. The idea is that you have an additional reason for like… parading around in a swimsuit or to have scenes at the pool or the beach or whatever. This is situational enough that it’s not so bad, but being able to directly cover two of your bad stats at once is pretty powerful.

Squamous
(It apparently means ‘covered in scales’.) You shed your human skin and become a horrible scaly swamp monster. You always take 1 less harm than normal while in this form, and you can deal “2 harm when you Lash Out Physically.” That’s a pretty weird way to word it, because how much harm Lash Out Physically does it kind of decided on a case by case basis, and is only assumed to be 1 most of the time. That’s also going to stack with Cold Fury to literally let you oneshot people if you roll 10+ and take the “damage is great” option. Anyone who sees you in this form for the first time needs to Hold Steady. Doesn’t say what you need to Hold Steady to be able to do, but whatever. In order to shed your skin and go back to looking human, you need to be immersed in water.

Why does this need to be a different move from Came Up Tails? Like, does this skin really need two transformation moves? Some of the descriptive text indicates that the effects of these two moves are supposed to stack with each other, but all I can think of with that is that you can only get rid of one of them while you’re dry, and the other while you’re wet. Which sounds more than a little annoying to me.

Territorial
You’ve claimed a nearby body of water for yourself. If you’re alone and fully submerged in water in your territory, you can heal 1 harm and remove all conditions from yourself. Which seems like a bit much to me just for popping into this place, but okay. You get the Angry condition if anyone invades your territory, and you get +1 ongoing toward attempts to remove the intruders. That should probably be worded “you always carry 1 forward toward attempts to remove the intruders”, though, to be more consistent with Monsterhearts terminology.

Honestly, the skin would be a whole lot more solid if this move were somehow mashed together with the activism part of Missing Link. This feels way too complex to be an optional move, and the whole core concept is that you’re cause is kind of related to the fact that you’re a river monster or whatever. As is, it also means that if your cause is about preserving your territory, it becomes really easy to argue that you get a +2 on rolls to further your cause.

Sex Move
After you have sex with someone, you treat protecting them as part of your cause. This goes on until you have sex with someone else. Which is kind of like the Werewolf’s sex move, but notably it doesn’t go away if the other person sleeps around a bit. Also, if you have sex with someone underwater, they can breath underwater until you have sex with someone else. Which really just makes Frog Kiss even more worthless.

Darkest Self
You realise that you can’t actually change anything, so you decide to stop trying. You grab the person you care about the most and retreat to a safe place. It explicitly mentions your Territory if you have that move. So, uh, once again, why Is Territorial not something you need to take? You defend your safe place from anyone who tries to intrude, and “ignore everything else.” You come out of your darkest self when someone shows you that you’ve made a difference after all.

So I kind of like this concept a lot. This is literally the old timey movie monster who kidnaps the female lead and then takes her back to the swamp cave and the hero has to rescue her somethingsomething twas beauty that killed the beast. Except, this move is going to be really boring if like… the person you grab is an NPC no one else cares about. It kind of depends on the other PCs coming after you to save the person. I really wish it had a second exit condition, too.

Other Stuff
The Creature’s gang is “some Extremist Environmentalists” that you’ve joined, which actually sounds kind of fun. I’m really glad Topher didn’t just go with “a Clan of Creatures” or something boring like that.

Once again, way too many of these moves require Missing Link to function, and more than one of them dictates what the result of a miss will be. In general this is probably the best skin I’ve covered from this collection so far. Not a high bar, admittedly.

Next Time: The Fury -- Adding more special conditions always makes things interesting, right?

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine
The Creature is more like a Creature from the Blue Lagoon.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
The "You automatically kill someone by kissing them" is bullshit, just like the vampire's feed. And the transformation makes you more powerful than the Werewolf or the Chosen. And the male picture looks like he's :fap:.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer

Gazetteer posted:

The Creature

"Swamp Thing," she sighed, running a hand through the sphagnum that covered his pectorals. "You were amazing."

quote:

Came Up Tails
You can turn your legs into a mermaid-style tail. While you’re like that, you can’t Run Away on land, because moves that make it so you can’t use other moves are always fun. If you’re like this while in water, though, you always treat Run Away as if you’d rolled a 10. Anyone seeing you with a tail for the first time marks experience, but you also take a string on them. You can’t change your tail back into legs unless you dry it off completely.

Frog Kiss
Oh my god, this move. If you kiss someone while you’re both underwater, they can breathe underwater like you can, as long as they stay near you. That’s kind of weak for a move without some core benefit to taking them underwater with you, but it’s not the worst thing ever, right?

First Cat People, now Splash, straight down to exchanging bennies if someone sees your better when it's wetter bits. And that 'kiss and kill' move is straight up from OG AD&D's Nereid. And sure, mythical sirens, but this poo poo really is all over the navigational chart.

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 5, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!
Wow. Like, you'd think taking the Creature and extrapolating some Innsmouth-like characteristics would be low-hanging fruit. Have the playbook be about being the isolated teenager, perhaps by a religious family, who's discovering teenage society in that very raw way and reacting in completely inappropriate ways. (Maybe there's a core playbook that already embodies that, not sure.)

It seems so easy to just high concept. The actual design is tough, but Skins for the Skinless just seems really confused about the idea of "take a monster archetype, take a teenage tribulation, mash together".

Alien Rope Burn fucked around with this message at 14:23 on Oct 24, 2014

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003

La morte non ha sesso
The Creature is the one that made me decide that none of the Skins for the Skinless would probably appeal to me. "You're the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and also an annoying activist" just didn't make any sense to me.

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
I feel like I've seen the exact same thing done as a cartoon parody.

theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.

The fact that the tail follows Splash rules amuses me to no end. That classic horror trope, Splash. They couldn't have had it follow like traditional Selkie rules for some reason, even though that's way better romantic horror iconography. Is there already a selkie skin?

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 30 days!
I like the "Preachy kid who has more passion for than actual knowledge about their cause" angle as a Skin notion, but I feel the environmentalism angle is perhaps a bit too restrictive. Depends on where you're setting the game, perhaps, if that idea would make game and thematic sense as a PC.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003

La morte non ha sesso
Plus, it just doesn't line up with a monster archetype the way "manipulates others by eliciting passion and denying it" lines up with vampires.

Gazetteer
Nov 22, 2011

"You're talking to cats."
"And you eat ghosts, so shut the fuck up."

theironjef posted:

The fact that the tail follows Splash rules amuses me to no end. That classic horror trope, Splash. They couldn't have had it follow like traditional Selkie rules for some reason, even though that's way better romantic horror iconography. Is there already a selkie skin?

Yeah. It was originally a bonus skin like the Hollow and the Angel, but it got a revision and is currently an official part of the Second Skins.

neonchameleon
Nov 14, 2012



Halloween Jack posted:

Plus, it just doesn't line up with a monster archetype the way "manipulates others by eliciting passion and denying it" lines up with vampires.

No... but it lines up with a monster game. And thank you. I may have a first draft of The Initiate (if I go with that name) up tonight. Central move will be something like:

Consciousness Raising: Whenever you make a public nuisance of yourself in a way that helps your cause or helps ensure others have heard of it, clear one unrelated condition or take 1 forward. Anyone who assists you gains the same benefit.

Lemon-Lime
Aug 6, 2009
You should post your stuff in the AW thread and not FATAL & Friends.

neonchameleon
Nov 14, 2012



Lemon Curdistan posted:

You should post your stuff in the AW thread and not FATAL & Friends.

And when it's up to the working draft stage I will. Rather than spinning off a conversation here.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Did someone say "Bad Monsterhearts Skins?"

[Google it.]


Gamebreakers, badly formatted ones, ones where the core move is 12 sentences long, everything's there.

Notable: Repeats! "The really dark cool scary guy who's a serial killer for real!" (aka "the stranger"). Buffy pictures!

Golden Bee fucked around with this message at 14:34 on Oct 27, 2014

Gazetteer
Nov 22, 2011

"You're talking to cats."
"And you eat ghosts, so shut the fuck up."

Golden Bee posted:

Did someone say "Bad Monsterhearts Skins?"

:filez:

Gamebreakers, badly formatted ones, ones where the core move is 12 sentences long, everything's there.

Notable: Repeats! "The really dark cool scary guy who's a serial killer for real!" (aka "the stranger"). Buffy pictures!

That link you just sent out has copies of the Second skins in addition to the random free/third party skins I assume you're drawing attention to.

ActingPower
Jun 4, 2013

Hey, I'm back! I'm doing reviews of the One.Seven Design games, starting with the short systems and working my way up. (Lady Blackbird is coming, I promise!) Up next is one called the Mustang, and, well, just go ahead and read.

The Mustang:

"Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood.
Some through great sorrow, still carry a song,
in the night season and all the day long."

The Mustang is unlike any game I've ever seen before. It is a "western gothic horror module for 4 people" that does things very differently than the previous two examples. It follows a very rigid story, which means talking about the mechanics isn't quite as helpful in this case. So let me set the scene:

There are four people sitting around a campfire. You are there, the watchman of the group. Cassie, your beloved, sits next to you, a large sheet of metal bound to her arm. Next to her is Jack, the outsider, with his father's rifle leaning up against the log he sits upon. Finally, there is William, the man of God, who carries the Holy Book and who followed you here without you asking. You four are out here to slay the Mustang, a massive, demonic creature of horror and flame. Each one of you will play your part in defeating this monster. When it appears, you will only have one chance to defeat it. Cassie will protect you all from the beast's fiery breath. Jack will fire upon it; though it cannot be killed with bullets, he will weaken it, bring it down, so that it cannot run away. William will wield the power of God to prevent it from summoning its Dark Master. And you... you will slit its throat.

But all that is yet to come. For now, you are sitting together at the campfire, drinking from the flask you brought, and coming to understand the situation you all are in. You, however, do not speak. You must watch for the Mustang to come. When you believe all has been said, you will alert the group that the Mustang approaches.


It's a very odd system, no doubt. One person, the one who organized this game to be played, acts as the overseer, part character and part GM. (They're referred to as "you" on the game sheet.) The other three players choose the three characters tasked with weakening the Mustang until you can finally kill it. Now, here's why it's strange: technically, none of them can fail. That's not the point. All that will happen is, after the scene is described, a single coin will be flipped to represent their fate. Heads means that they come out all right. Tails means something terrible happens, but the fight must go on. No, the point is the backstory before the actual fight takes place. The three players will discuss who these characters are to them, what they are doing here, and how they are feeling. You don't speak during this part. (Or maybe you can; it's not totally clear.) Hopefully, by the time you, the overseer, decide to begin the fight with the Mustang, the players are invested in their characters enough that their fates in the aftermath of the fight will be poignant.

That's what the overseer's goal is in the second part. You describe the battle scene, reflect on the memories shared in the first half, and decide what happens when the coins are flipped. If the other characters are tasked with describing what was, the overseer is in control of what is, what takes place. That is, until the final scene. When it's your turn, you flip the three coins that you used for the previous characters, and the other three players decide what happens based on whether you've flipped good (lots of heads) or bad (lots of tails). And then... the game is over.

The Mustang falls to the ground. It whimpers plaintively as it lies bleeding and torn. You walk up to it slowly and look in its eyes. You expected them to be dark, pitiless eyes, but instead they are almost human. You place the knife next to its neck. The three coins fall from your pocket to the ground, the blood of their holders still glistening fresh upon them. They land, some heads, some tails, an omen. After all this, they decide your fate.

With all that said, I'm sure what to think about The Mustang. I've never played it, so I can't say whether it works or not. The actual gameplay is very rigidly defined (I think the best word for it would be ritualistic), but like I said, I don't think the gameplay is the point. Like the first two systems, what matters is what you put into it. You create the story by creating characters that are important to you, filling them with relationships and memories, then you complete the story by testing those characters in fire and blood. There's only a 1/8 chance that everyone will come out fine. It's a bleak, strange, and heartbreaking game; it's clear that not everyone will get it. But that's fine. I think, in its own way, it's beautiful.

Saguaro PI
Mar 11, 2013

Totally legit tree

Halloween Jack posted:

The Creature is the one that made me decide that none of the Skins for the Skinless would probably appeal to me. "You're the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and also an annoying activist" just didn't make any sense to me.

I wouldn't go that far. The Creature is probably the biggest dud in the collection, I'd say even more than the Beast. The Beast is a salvageable concept that I think works overall even if the execution sucks, while the Creature just seems like a poorly thought-out mashup and it shows.

Plus, The Muse, the Minotaur and the Proxy are cool, even if they have a couple of wonky elements.

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ZeeToo
Feb 20, 2008

I'm a kitty!

Testament: Roleplaying in the Biblical Era, part 5

Today we're wrapping up the classes. The generic base class for all the nations in Testament is the Spy. You might have noticed, if you were paying unusually close attention, that there are no barbarians, druids or monks in Testament. Well, 'tough luck' on the first two. I guess really angry guys don't match wrathful gods or something? Barbarians really should be in.

Anyway, Spy. They're halfway between the monk and the rogue, with a sprinkling of arcane casting. d6 HD, 6+int skills, 3/4 BAB, simple/martial weapons, light/medium armor, good Fort/Will, poor Reflex. The armor is silly because it doesn't synergize at all. At levels 6, 13, and 20 the spy gets a move speed upgrade of +10 feet/round. Or, if they're small or a dwarf (see? there it is again!), they get +5. This only works when completely unarmored. They get their Wis bonus to AC when wearing only light or no armor. They also get no special ability to ignore arcane spell failure, so they have that to disincentivize them from wearing armor if they have the stats to swing it. So the only thing it's really set on is "no heavy armor" with sliding other penalties or bonuses for medium/light/no.

These guys are super skill-focused. Skill Focus (Gather Information) as a bonus feat at level 1, Skill Focus (one of Listen, Search, Sense Motive or Spot) at level 4, Skill Focus (one of Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate or Sense Motive) at level 10, Skill Focus (one of Disguise, Hide or Move Silently) at level 16, and any Skill Focus at level 20. They also get four movement-based feats at levels 3, 8, 13 and 18 from Dodge, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Lightning Reflexes, Mobility, Side Step, Spring Attack and Run.

Their spell list is 16 spells in total, looks to be all divination or talking stuff. They don't even get Charm Person. It's also int-based.

Their other features are Concealment in Plain Sight at level 6 and Indomitable Movement at level 14, the latter of which is just "you do not provoke Opportunity Attacks for moving"... eh, and a tiny bonus to specifically and solely save against charm spells.

So we have a class here that needs high physical stats to give it HP, damage and defense. It also needs intelligence (at least to 14) for spells and skills. Also Wisdom for AC. And, hell, it's supposed to be a talky, cunning class so it needs Charisma, too. In exchange it's... a very fast rogue with no sneak attack. No synergy, no power even where it has features. There is no reason for this class to exist. It's unable to do anything in a team. If you know your tier listing for this edition, this is a tier 5 class at best. If you let its "use all abilities" get away from you, it's worse than the Expert who knows to pump int.

It doesn't even get art.

Prestige classes do, though.


Desert Hermit is a prestige class for all four nations. It's a ranger upgrade that gets desert-specific bonuses, the ability to create or snuff out flame, teleport in the desert, even, commune with his god, and a free pass from elementals. It's not a bad class, exactly, but it takes the ranger into a more mystical direction, which you'd need to understand before picking it.


Idol-Maker is for everyone but the Israelites, as a divine casting option. It's another half-casting prestige class so it's useless. It does let you make and animate magical idols, but it doesn't look like this is actually a useful ability.

Master Charioteer is for Egyptians and Israelites. This is a fighter upgrade that makes you really scary in a chariot. If you're going to be doing chariot combat, this is very good.

Royal Astrologer is for Babylonians and Egyptians. You get a bonus to divination spells. It's also for spellcasters but gives only five casting improvements in ten levels. And we know what that means by now.


That's it for the classes; feats are up next. Few of these are worth mentioning; there's a lot of metamagic and a few feats to play into Testament's mass combat system. Of note are the one to let you burn XP to directly increase attack rolls and one that lets you up your piety (I'll get into why this is silly next time).

Ho-hum, feats are done and... hey, what's this next section? Mythic feats?



Yes, back in 2003 Green Ronin published Mythic feats that are eerily similar in concept to the Pathfinger mythic elements. Instead of Pathfinder number tracking, however, it just says that mythic feats are flat unbalanced and the DM should not let a player take more than one mythic feat at the most. These can make it almost impossible to slay you, make you straight immune to blades, make your turn/rebuke work against arbitrary targets (like other kingdoms!), get +8 to an ability score, or get the mark of Cain on you that makes it so killing you will very likely make your murderer suffer instant divine retaliation. All in all, no real complaints about this unless the DM uses them to bluster that his pet NPC with six of these is totally legit.

Next time, though, we get into the piety system and find out just how often a Levite can have sex with his boyfriend without the Lord getting angry enough to not let him cast infinite wizard spells. Spoiler: a lot.

ZeeToo fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Oct 26, 2014

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