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Somfin
Oct 25, 2010




Nap Ghost

Manos99 posted:

But the gold arrives in my favorite part of any IMDB profile: PERSONAL QUOTES!

Man attempts to reframe relationship-ending inability to keep to a schedule as you-don't-deserve-me-at-my-best ~*quirkiness*~.

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Telemaze
Apr 22, 2008

What you expected hasn't happened.


Fun Shoe

People who clearly wrote their own Wikipedia/IMDB pages: i'm time handicap!

Seriously though what the gently caress is wrong with that guy. Has he got some kind of disability? I need to know what would make someone think that an IMDB profile is the proper place to moo about a breakup and discuss past sex partners.

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Bazan

David Bazan essentially was the Christian band Pedro the Lion in the same way that Doug Martsch is Built to Spill. His former band is also the only possible reason why anyone would ever care enough to read his Wikipedia entry. His solo entry only mentions Pedro the Lion once, in an offhand way, and also omits any discussion of the most interesting thing about him post-Pedro -- his "it's complicated" relationship with God.

Does every member of a successful band who goes solo go through the Billy Corgan cycle of "gently caress my old band --> here's my solo stuff --> please, listen to my solo stuff --> please? --> OK I guess my old band was pretty cool I guess"?

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battletruck

This entry for a 1982 movie called Battletruck is so lovingly written that there's absolutely no way someone involved with the movie didn't write it.

quote:

Production company: Battletruck Films Ltd.

Box office: $3,000,000 USD ($7,368,620.69 in today's currency)
:allears:

Vastarien
Dec 20, 2012

Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.





Buglord

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/6_Tre_G

Randomly stumbled across this guy's page. Highlights include "...emerged with “Dem Jayz”, a hit that is spreading like wildfire alongside a follow up sure to add fuel to the flames." and "It’d be easy to make assumptions about the kind of artist 6 Tre G is given the fact that he’s been to jail and was born in Birmingham, Alabama. But this is one artist who has no interest living up to anyone else’s cliches."

Josef K. Sourdust
Jul 16, 2014

"To be quite frank, Platinum sucks at making games. Vanquish was terrible and Metal Gear Rising: Revengance was so boring it put me to sleep."



Vastarien posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/6_Tre_G

Randomly stumbled across this guy's page. Highlights include "...emerged with “Dem Jayz”, a hit that is spreading like wildfire alongside a follow up sure to add fuel to the flames." and "It’d be easy to make assumptions about the kind of artist 6 Tre G is given the fact that he’s been to jail and was born in Birmingham, Alabama. But this is one artist who has no interest living up to anyone else’s cliches."

...only to his own cliches.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

D U S T M A N


Can I nominate the entire country of Singapore

quote:

It is noted for its effective, pragmatic and incorrupt governance and civil service, which together with its rapid development policies, is widely cited as the "Singapore model".

quote:

Singapore's governance model eschews populist politics, focusing on the nation's long-term interest, and is known to be clean, effective and pragmatic.

quote:

Singapore has one of the lowest rates of drug use in the world. Culturally, the use of illicit drugs is viewed as highly undesirable by Singaporeans, unlike many European societies.

Robot Style
Jul 5, 2009



This guy posts in the local film jobs facebook group looking for a female co-writer for his $50 million sci-fi action film:

quote:

The original script was lost several years ago along with the back ups.

This is a sci-fi/action/drama work of fiction which was already gaining interest by producers and had a cast and crew which were ready to sign on when the film would turn to begin production...however in a perfect world - this would not have been lost, but it sadly was...

and now I would like to begin again with the same basic story, but new elements added.

Lindsay Lohan and Taylor Lautner had agreed to be the leads, but as the years have passed, they might not quite fit the bill...

Pretty nice of the producers, cast, and crew to sign on without having seen the finished script.

According to his IMDB, he's quite accomplished though:

quote:

Has won numerous awards for his writing and was chosen 2nd place in creating the "Don't Drink and Drive" slogan by Mothers Against Drink Driving - back when he was only in grade 6. First place went to his neighbor, Betty Bartnik.

Probably the best thing about his IMDB page is that he's given himself a Transportation credit on 34 movies and tv shows since 2012, and unlike most random crew members with IMDB pages, his message board actually has a post on it:

quote:

You are not a teamster driver and should not be credited as such

Hey Victor

On behalf of the coordinators that ACTUALLY worked on the shows you claim to work on, please stop it. You are not a member of Teamsters 155 nor were you hired on as a driver. You may have driven a limo on the weekend for cast/director travel or may have driven on camera as a background performer but you were NOT hired as a driver on any of the shows you have put on your profile. Your IMDB is hugely inaccurate.

Thanks

Nice.

Anil Dikshit
Apr 11, 2007


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joey_Goebel

Local author/former community college adjunct faculty/"punk rocker"

quote:


Adam Joseph "Joey" Goebel III (born 1980) is an American author whose work centers around the peculiarities of culture in Middle America. He was raised in Henderson, Kentucky, a small town on the Ohio River across from Evansville, Indiana. His parents, Adam Goebel of Louisville, and Nancy Bingemer Goebel of Henderson, were both social workers and met in Frankfort, Kentucky. His older sister CeCe is also a social worker.

So far, we have extensive goings on about his family, none of them notable. His exwife doesn't even get a mention until paragraph three of the article.





quote:


The Mullets
From 1996–2001; prior to becoming a novelist, Goebel sang and played guitar for a punk band called The Mullets with band members Jason Sheeley and Justin Hope. The band played about one hundred shows throughout the Midwest (many in Evansville, Indiana) and released two cassette tapes, a seven-inch EP record, and three Compact Discs.
The band had a rabid following in the Tri-state area of Kentucky, Indiana, and Illinois. Goebel wrote over one hundred songs for the Mullets, some of them bitter love songs ("Swimmin' Alone with the Turkeys"), some scoffing at his surroundings—particularly high school ("At the Pep Rally"), some making fun of popular culture ("Intrusive T.V. Neighbors"), and some purely comedic ("At a Flea Market").

I looked them up on YouTube for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6usUPPtsEI

quote:

Goebel's protagonists are intelligent rebels, sensible madmen, and rejected dreamers disgusted by a society that embraces boy band media and girl glam. His prose laments the absence of originality and morality in contemporary culture.


Here's his website, as listed on Wikipedia: http://www.joeygoebel.com


-the next chuck palianhiuk, probably?

Bonus excerpt from his first novel:

quote:

You were born a mistake into a middle-class family that thought they were a high-class family. Your life was fine until your rear end in a top hat parents divorced. Before that it was bike rides, baseball, swimming, and Nintendo. But after the divorce, your Nike Airs walked astray. You blamed yourself at first for your parents’ split, but then you learned to blame them instead, whom you would blame everything on forevermore. As a teenager, you felt your problems at home licensed you to rebel. You partied hard and lived for the weekends. You felt obligated to lose your virginity and you did as soon as someone would help you to do so. You did just well enough in school to get by, saying that you were smart but just didn’t apply yourself. You left home as soon as possible to go to college. You joined a frat. You let females control your destiny. You accidentally got a girl pregnant and felt obligated to marry her. You wanted a boy. You got a job that you hate but it pays the bills as you like to say. Your wife appears not as pretty as she was when you impregnated her, and your eyes are starting to wander. You and your wife consider yourselves better than your neighbors. You are depressed. You smoke weed to help you not be. You work out. You go to a tanning bed. You worry about your hair.

After a lengthy pause, alpha-male says, "Shut up. You don’t know me…I’m not depressed."

You will be. It is bound to happen sometime between your divorce from your cheating wife and when your kids put you in a nursing home.

"That’s it, man. Are you done, or am I gonna have to kick your rear end?"

I throw one more card on the table, the one that says "EMPTY THREAT OF VIOLENCE—A FINAL RESORT." My cards never fail. I’ve got everything from "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" to "I NEED CLOSURE" to "I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND" to "BAD HAIR DAY?"

I am done. I am sorry for confronting you like I have in front of your peers, some of whom are secretly gay.

At this, the rear end in a top hat’s friends look at each other nervously.

I know how much respect means to you, and I respectfully ask that you refrain from mistreating my friends and me.

"Whatever, dude."

I return to my table. I don’t like doing things like I just did, but the humanoids make it so easy for me, and the fact that they make it so easy for me is why I do it in the first place. I can predict the prettyboy just like I can predict that the guy wearing a bow-tie will be a smart-rear end, that the traveling children’s storyteller will be annoyingly eccentric, that the English teacher will love Garrison Keillor, that the bartender will be exceedingly confident.

"Why do you always have to make a scene like that?" asks Aurora.

You were the one complaining about them staring at us. Are they staring at us now?

The man’s friends are comforting him, patting him on the shoulder.

Then a contagiously funky reggae song comes on. My dining companions and I spontaneously arise and dance in the middle of the restaurant, except for Aurora who just rolls back and forth. We dance like protozoa, squirming unattached, our bodies moving like they don’t even know it. Music, music. Muse, sick muse. The sick muse we will follow to a timeshare on the moon.

I approach my victim, the professional humanoid.

Come on, dude! No hard feelings, right!? Would you like to dance?

"Oh, shut the gently caress up."

I smile, laugh, and proceed with the dancing. I dance as hard as I can since I know that any moment now, someone will tell us to stop and sit down, or more specifically, someone will tell us, "I’m going to have to ask you to stop and sit down."

Anil Dikshit has a new favorite as of 22:41 on Oct 31, 2016

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)


Robot Style posted:

This guy posts in the local film jobs facebook group looking for a female co-writer for his $50 million sci-fi action film:


Pretty nice of the producers, cast, and crew to sign on without having seen the finished script.

Reminds me of the guys that made Food Fight

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.


the sexual Shiite posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joey_Goebel

Local author/former community college adjunct faculty/"punk rocker"


So far, we have extensive goings on about his family, none of them notable. His exwife doesn't even get a mention until paragraph three of the article.


I looked them up on YouTube for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6usUPPtsEI



Here's his website, as listed on Wikipedia: http://www.joeygoebel.com


-the next chuck palianhiuk, probably?

Bonus excerpt from his first novel:

This is the worst Josephs Goebels I have ever heard of.

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veni veni veni
Jun 5, 2005

Clunk! Clunk Clunk!



That guy is terrible and I thank you for your contribution.

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