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flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

ChlorophileAddict posted:

by now, it's prolly like this:

" Jim Bob build up his courage all day. At the dinner table he stares Michelle straight in the eye.
As the kids go do their chores, he tells her.
"prepare yourself woman, tonight we f"
She goes to the bedroom, lifts her skirt, takes her granny pants off and lays in wait spread eagle.
he breathes deeply trying to not think about it.

he walks in he room, grateful it's dark and he doesn't have to look at it. He is brave, a soldier of Jesus. He will soldier on.
He gets on top searches for a bit, tries not to puke.
Sticks his dick in, pumps for 2 minutes, hopes he is in the right place since he can't feel poo poo. The smell is potent and disgusting.
He holds his breath in, thinks of the hottest of his daughters and on the count to 10 releases into... whatever that is.

he gets off her and gets out of the room, goes to the bathroom and pukes his guts out."

Jim Bob takes her panties off with his teeth and wedges his head in there to check for a baby

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ChlorophileAddict
Jun 15, 2015

dog buttz posted:

Jim Bob takes her panties off with his teeth and wedges his head in there to check for a baby

you mad? she prolly wears 18th century bloomers

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

basement jihadist posted:

lol what do all of you fartstenches do when you have to read things that obliquely reference the bible?>> do you just miss it?


even C†† references Christ

goa†se

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Jim Bob: "I'm going in!"

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
like vagina goatse

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
seriooysly how loving rekt is that vag?

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

i like cats

Top City Homo posted:

seriooysly how loving rekt is that vag?

They can stitch 'em up good as new. Transwomen get a vag made out of penis, it must be much easier to make a vag out of vag.



http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=husband+stitch

Facebook Aunt fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Jun 21, 2015

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
Like putting a parachute back in a backpack

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


She has enough square footage in there that Jom Bib calls it the Duggarville convention center

TNG
Jan 4, 2001

by Lowtax
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUvLdikLjXQ

The Gak is Michelle.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Bim Job

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
i think we should race to 120 with various jim bob variations and close the thread

JIMB BORB

I AM GRANDO
Aug 20, 2006

Chim Shob

The Bible
May 8, 2010

Bi Bim Bob

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!
جيم بوب

TNG
Jan 4, 2001

by Lowtax
ジム ボブ様

Egoist
Aug 18, 2010

Love myself today
Let you go today
Lipstick Apathy
ジムボブ

e: gently caress ^^

I AM GRANDO
Aug 20, 2006

Gorm Job

Egoist
Aug 18, 2010

Love myself today
Let you go today
Lipstick Apathy
吉姆·鲍勃

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
JIRM BARB

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

My "Not Vincent Price" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.


Smellrose
boB miJ

Fionnoula
May 27, 2010

Ow, quit.
Jimminy Bobbity Boo

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications

minge grog

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
J͎͇̠͉̻̬̟̯͉̮͚͖̟͖͚́̉̒̑̈́ͬ̾̂͑͗̿̾͛̅̊͑̄͢͟i̸̙̙̼̠͈͙͈͍͍̖̟̒͋̄͗̈́̎̿ͭ̏̄ͤ̽̑̈̽ͮ̍̾̀̚̕͞͝ͅm̷̀̐̂̋ͦͨͪͬ̑̏̌̚͏̠͎̞ͅ ̐ͣ̓̐̏ͣ͂͟҉҉͓͎͎̰̪Ḅ̡͓̙̱̜̝̤̫̝̥͒͊͒͆̔̐̀͜ͅǫ̭̖̭̙̠͌͐̓̍̉̒̀́͢͞b̴̯͍̖͍͓͚̥̻̞͔͎͇̱͈ͫ̓͑ͧͭͯ̽͋̏̒̓͑̓͆̌͋̀͢
̢̨̨̨̙̙̮̜̮͚ͮ̎̅̊̑ͭ

Poppyseed Poundcake
Feb 23, 2007

Say Nothing posted:

J́̉̒̑̐ͣ̓̐̏ͣ͂͟҉҉͓͎͎̰̪Ḅ̡͓̙̱̜̝̤̫̝̥͒͊͒͆̔̐̀͜ͅǫ̭̖̭̙̠͌͐̓̍̉̒̀́͢͞b̴̯͍̖͍͓͚̥̻̞͔͎͇̱͈ͫ̓͑ͧͭͯ̽͋̏̒̓͑̓͆̌͋̀͢
̢̨̨̨̙̙̮̜̮͚ͮ̎̅̊̑ͭ
J͎͇̠͉̻̬̟̯͉̮͚͖̟͖͚́̉̒̑̈́ͬ̾̂͑͗̿̾͛̅̊͑̄͢͟i̸̙̙̼̠͈͙͈͍͍̖̟̒͋̄͗̈́̎̿ͭ̏̄ͤ̽̑̈̽ͮ̍̾̀̚̕͞͝ͅm̷̀̐̂̋ͦͨͪͬ̑̏̌̚͏̠͎̞ͅ ͎͇̠͉̻̬̟̯͉̮͚͖̟͖͚̈́ͬ̾̂͑͗̿̾͛̅̊͑̄͢͟i̸̙̙̼̠͈͙͈͍͍̖̟̒͋̄͗̈́̎̿ͭ̏̄ͤ̽̑̈̽ͮ̍̾̀̚̕͞͝ͅm̷̀̐̂̋ͦͨͪͬ̑̏̌̚͏̠͎̞ͅ ̐ͣ̓̐̏ͣ͂͟҉҉͓͎͎̰̪Ḅ̡͓̙̱̜̝̤̫̝̥͒͊͒͆̔̐̀͜ͅǫ̭̖̭̙̠͌͐̓̍̉̒̀́͢͞b̴̯͍̖͍͓͚̥̻̞͔͎͇̱͈ͫ̓͑ͧͭͯ̽͋̏̒̓͑̓͆̌͋̀͢
̢̨̨̨̙̙̮̜̮͚ͮ̎̅̊̑ͭ̓̐̏ͣ͂͟҉҉͓͎͎̰̪Ḅ̡͓̙̱̜̝̤̫̝̥͒͊͒͆̔̐̀͜ͅǫ̭̖̭̙̠͌͐̓̍̉̒̀́͢͞b̴̯͍̖͍͓͚̥̻̞͔͎͇̱͈ͫ̓͑ͧͭͯ̽͋̏̒̓͑̓͆̌͋̀͢
̢̨̨̨̙̙̮̜̮͚ͮ̎̅̊̑ͭ

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Vag grab

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Duggar II: Dug Deeper; 20-5-year-olds and Counting

Part VI of the hit Young Adult novel series, Got Hard: If the Victim is Not to Blame; Family Research Counselor

Cumming to theaters this Fall.

Lim Lob

Deki
May 12, 2008


You guys joke, but aren't you the least bit curious about the 'tang that jimbob seems to come back to time after time?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Deki posted:

You guys joke, but aren't you the least bit curious about the 'tang that jimbob seems to come back to time after time?

Not really. It's his religious duty to pump as many children out of his wife as possible, according to the fringe fundamentalist Christian sect he belongs to. As the de facto public face of his particular brand of crazy, Jorm Biib's feelings on the matter don't necessarily make a difference. He's got a lot of societal pressure urging him to gently caress his wife, so even if he hates that poo poo he'd still be up in it every fuckin day.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Pvt.Scott posted:

Not really. It's his religious duty to pump as many children out of his wife as possible, according to the fringe fundamentalist Christian sect he belongs to. As the de facto public face of his particular brand of crazy, Jorm Biib's feelings on the matter don't necessarily make a difference. He's got a lot of societal pressure urging him to gently caress his wife, so even if he hates that poo poo he'd still be up in it every fuckin day.

I'm guessing he's not dry humping her at the putt putt course because his religion demands it, it's because he's a horny sleaze who loves throwing his hot dog down.. no, wait, maybe he has to dry hump her because that's the only way he gets any feeling, and it takes a whole day of dry humping to be ready to blow his load into the void.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Can you imagine what staring into that gaping abyss would do to your libido?

I AM GRANDO
Aug 20, 2006

Grim Job

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Buttcoin purse posted:

I'm guessing he's not dry humping her at the putt putt course because his religion demands it, it's because he's a horny sleaze who loves throwing his hot dog down.. no, wait, maybe he has to dry hump her because that's the only way he gets any feeling, and it takes a whole day of dry humping to be ready to blow his load into the void.

He was doing that to establish dominance. That was on a double date with his daughter and her suitor. They're only allowed to hold hands while standing side to side with plenty of distance. That was purely a power display.



Unbelievably Fat Man
Jun 1, 2000

Innocent people. I could never hurt innocent people.


In the grim future of Jim Bob there is only duggaring.

Axolotl
Jan 23, 2002
Whatever

Pvt.Scott posted:

Not really. It's his religious duty to pump as many children out of his wife as possible, according to the fringe fundamentalist Christian sect he belongs to. As the de facto public face of his particular brand of crazy, Jorm Biib's feelings on the matter don't necessarily make a difference. He's got a lot of societal pressure urging him to gently caress his wife, so even if he hates that poo poo he'd still be up in it every fuckin day.
At this point she's gotta be pretty close to menopausal, evidenced by the fact that they're looking into fertility treatments so she can queef out yet another J-baby. If he wanted to quit, he could just say that she can't have children anymore and that their sex life is over since sex is only supposed to be for procreation.

Michelle Duggar probably keeps taking bullets for the team in order to keep Jorm Blib from finding some half-assed biblical justification for impregnating their daughters.

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship
Fun Shoe
Djiim El Bhoob

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


The Duggars did a pretty good job of torpedoing Huckabee even if they didn't mean to. Good jerb Jim Berb.

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013
I HAVE NEVER TAKEN A 101 LEVEL COURSE IN ECOLOGICAL SCIENCE AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS WORK. I AM A VERY SMART BOY. (Fuck you, idiot.)

Axolotl posted:

At this point she's gotta be pretty close to menopausal, evidenced by the fact that they're looking into fertility treatments so she can queef out yet another J-baby. If he wanted to quit, he could just say that she can't have children anymore and that their sex life is over since sex is only supposed to be for procreation.

Michelle Duggar probably keeps taking bullets for the team in order to keep Jorm Blib from finding some half-assed biblical justification for impregnating their daughters.

Didn't they famously say they wanted to keep having kids until they got a sign from God to stop?

Wouldn't the necessity of fertility treatments count as like the fifth sign they've gotten?

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

Thank You

Pook Good Mook posted:

Didn't they famously say they wanted to keep having kids until they got a sign from God to stop?

Wouldn't the necessity of fertility treatments count as like the fifth sign they've gotten?

There's an old joke that goes something like that.

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Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

So the true victims, US, aren't going to get any closure are we?

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