Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




Calling it

Josh watches BaitBus

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Uncle Wemus posted:

Who the gently caress names a kid Israel

Hey, I'll have you know that Israel Bissel is the greatest unsung hero of the revolutionary war.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Calling it

Josh watches BaitBus
Give it a week and somebody will find his rentboy.com account.

notsowelp
Oct 12, 2012

Though she is small, she is fierce.


it looks like they edited the statement a bunch of times

quote:

Pre-Edit:
Statement from Josh Duggar:

I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.

I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.

The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, in my heart I had allowed Satan to build a fortress that no one knew about.

As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose to our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.

I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.

Josh Duggar

Post-Edit:

Statement from Josh Duggar:

I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have been unfaithful to my wife.

I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

I have brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions.

The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country I was hiding my own personal failures.

As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all the hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.

I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.

Josh Duggar

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

tfw Dragon Lee breaks the Hiromu before you get another turn



Satan fortress is my metal band

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS

WHY BE A FATCAT WHEN YOU CAN BE A SMOKERAT?

COOL ZONE HERO, ASK ME ABOUT MY LIVESTREAMS




I like how he words it: "I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife."

you know, I was just watching youporn 5 hours a day and that dirty dirty porn compelled me to become unfaithful. totes not my fault guys




It's like he sees watching some porn as grievous as cheating.

Tercio
Jan 30, 2003



lol

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL


the homosexual deviant satan did it!

PassTheRemote
Mar 15, 2007

Number 6 holds The Village record in Duck Hunt.

The first one to kill wins.


So Satan caused him to touch his sisters?

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




Biblically, she now can divorce him (Bible never mentions molesting children as a cause for divorce)

She won't though

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

I DON'T ALWAYS
HERDY DUR MUR FLERP FLERPITY
FLOOPIN
BUT WHEN I DO
I YER DER FLERPITY
THURN DER DERMIN
BORK! BORK! BORK!



i love this dead gay earth

Hemingway To Go!
Nov 10, 2008

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway


why the gently caress do we have people in the government publically using demonic possession as an explanation for anything

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




Acne Rain posted:

why the gently caress do we have people in the government publically using demonic possession as an explanation for anything

I don't think that's a real quote

But I agree

Tercio
Jan 30, 2003



Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

I don't think that's a real quote

But I agree

Yeah I think it's satire.

~but how can you tell anymore~

Spun Dog
Sep 21, 2004




Smellrose

Three Olives posted:

Hypocrite? He profited off of trying to destroy the lives of gay people from way up on his moral high horse. Go jump off a bridge you sick gently caress, your wife and child and really the whole world would be better off that way.


He also, you know, molested children.


I feel like compared to that, all the other shits pretty weak (but deliciously funny)

deadly_pudding
May 13, 2009

who the fuck is scraeming
"LOG OFF" at my house.
show yourself, coward.
i will never log off


Tercio posted:

Yeah I think it's satire.

~but how can you tell anymore~

Broenheim posted:

i love this dead gay earth

The worst part is that it 100% sounds like a thing Huckabee would say. Our fearless leaders, everybody!

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

I wish I knew Josh had signed up for some hanky panky.
Who wouldn't want a Duggar diggler wrigging up them.
It must feel like God touching your very soul.
Until it crusts up of course.

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

I don't think that's a real quote

But I agree

Bobby Jindal exorcised somebody once and Nikki Haley had to publicly deny having every practiced witchcraft. Not like there isn't precedent for a quote like that.

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007





Hail Satan

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

If you think about it, if demons could penetrate the Fort Knox level of Christian mentality that is the Duggar family us lesser plebs are hosed royally trying to protect ourselves against Satan.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Are we absolutely sure that this entire sagas hasn't just been an elaborate The Onion long con?

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

quote:

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

So come on Jim Bob, practice what you preach you fake fucks.

hepscat
Jan 16, 2005

Avenging Nun


Ahaha the most recent edit took out the pornography reference entirely.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



hepscat posted:

Ahaha the most recent edit took out the pornography reference entirely.
Their publicist is probably having an aneurysm.

Lodin
Jul 31, 2003

Your friendly neighborhood bop



Three Olives posted:

Haha, no, they want all but 144,000 Jews who convert to parish in lakes of fire. The loony evangelicals that love talking about Israel are literally excited to see Israel destroyed and millions of dead Jews. If a nuclear bomb exploded in Israel that would start furiously masterbating because they would think that the second coming of Christ had arrived.

They don't give a poo poo about Israel or Jews or the citizens of Israel, they just think the country has to exist for Jesus to come back and kill us all.
This. Fundie Christians really are the most horrible people.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Wow....that feels good






Fallen Rib


Jim "Satan made me do it" Duggar

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013
some dirty-sneaker-inbred-out of the woods-Pabst beer pussy methhead-junkie running all around town telling EVERYONE EVERYTHING ABOUT ELON MUSK


So how many more of the kids are pedophilic rapists? All? Only four or five more?

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

Oh man, they really did change the statement. No mention of pornography.

http://duggarfamily.com/michelles-b...3e-7becfc87c911

quote:

I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have been unfaithful to my wife.

I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

I have brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions.

The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country I was hiding my own personal failures.

As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all the hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.

I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.

Josh Duggar

They really don't get the Internet.

bumble
Oct 15, 2012

R U HOT YET?


hepscat posted:

Ahaha the most recent edit took out the pornography reference entirely.

He probably realized that people don't know about those other accounts yet.

I Dunno
Apr 6, 2014



Wow, what a moron. He brings up a completely unrelated pornography addiction that no one even knew about because in weirdo cult land porn can be pointed to as an excuse for cheating because they see all sex as bad. A gateway sorta thing. But to normal people that doesn't justify poo poo and it just piles on more weird creepy info about him in the mind of the public so WHOOPS gotta remove that. Idiots.

He should do his wife a favor and get a divorce. I wonder if there's any inkling in his stupid mind that all of these problems were caused by his poo poo parents' insane religion.

Lodin
Jul 31, 2003

Your friendly neighborhood bop



I mitt virke, jeg gir deg Jim Bob mine krefter! Gå ut og kle mitt navn i alle nasjoners drakter! Ved klo eller sko, la det skje!

Jim Bob

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

tfw Dragon Lee breaks the Hiromu before you get another turn



you think jim bob and michelle kept having kids because they realized how badly they hosed up with the first one? have to craft the perfect dugg, this first draft was garbage.

Vacation Tenzin
Jan 23, 2005

I'M TOTALLY CALM AND RELAXED.


shiksa posted:

you think jim bob and michelle kept having kids because they realized how badly they hosed up with the first one? have to craft the perfect dugg, this first draft was garbage.

The perfect Dugg was the last one they had.

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

I wonder if he was dumb enough to like register a pornhub account with the same name he used on AM

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

shiksa posted:

you think jim bob and michelle kept having kids because they realized how badly they hosed up with the first one? have to craft the perfect dugg, this first draft was garbage.

Or to sate his satanistic lust for young poontang.
"Quick Jim Bob, he's getting bored of Number 8! Thrust harder!"

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

olives of shit


Sure I raped my sisters and cheated on my wife multiple times but I absolutely did not look at porn, how dare you.

Come on 99% of the happily married monogamous couples I know look at porn at least on occasion, it's not even remotely the same thing as diddling children or cheating on your wife.

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005






Having known more than enough insane Christians, here are my predictions:

His wife accepts his apologies and prays about it a lot until God confirms that she should definitely continue to submit to her husband. Everyone close to her will also pressure her to stay with him and forgive him.
The two of them will go to Christian marriage counseling for a few years and he'll be "cured" and "a better Christian"
He'll talk about his past sins with everyone all the time. Probably speak about it to his church congregation, youth groups, bible studies, quiverfull groups, etc.
He'll show up again in the media or the Conservative Christian movement as soon as possible, because he's not just gonna get a regular job or anything.
His new image will be all about the mistakes he made and how that's made him not only a better person, but a better authority on how sinful gays are (because he sinned too, so he gets it, right?)

That last one is the big one. In these circles anyone can be a good guy again as long as he's spouting the bigotry that the rest of them want to hear.

Oh, and he'll never actually be cured and will inevitably relapse into porn and affairs.

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


how do you even crank it out to porn when theres like 100 people relatives in your house

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

Three Olives posted:

Sure I raped my sisters and cheated on my wife multiple times but I absolutely did not look at porn, how dare you.

Come on 99% of the happily married monogamous couples I know look at porn at least on occasion, it's not even remotely the same thing as diddling children or cheating on your wife.

True, but this is from a family so repressed that 'christian side hugs' where the only way of touching when they were dating.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Khorne
May 1, 2002

Goonstone Champ x2

Siljmonster posted:

how do you even crank it out to porn when theres like 100 people relatives in your house
People with autism often think other people know exactly what they do. People without autism realize you can just beat it even if someone else is in the same room and as long as you aren't being blatant about it they will have no idea. There are also times where other people aren't in the same room you are. Whoa!!

There are also bathrooms. You can view porn then go into the bathroom.

But in this case, he was not at home he lived on his own.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Aug 20, 2015

  • Locked thread